They finished the cleaning job well before Switch's watch was over, so nobody walked in on them working out their grief and frustration this way, removing the bloody traces of events interspersed with a little bit of crying by both of them.
Finally, when Trinity came in for the next shift, they both just gave her a quick side hug and shook their heads at her questioning glance, thankful it was her and not Cypher.
Apoc carried off the soiled rags, the bowl of dirty water, and the bottle of hydrogen peroxide to put them away, while Switch went to the small wash room to clean up herself, as her hands and her shirt were all stained with diluted blood and older grime that had come loose from the surface of the chair. There also was a faint reddish-brown smear across her face from when she had tried to wipe away a tear.
"I feel disgusting," she grumbled as she scurried off.
Apoc washed his hands at the sickbay and went back to his cabin, hoping Switch would join him.
He wasn't even sure what he wanted to talk about, whether it was a good idea to talk more about the option of leaving already while emotions still were fresh from the death they had witnessed less than twenty-four hours ago, but he needed her close. There still were a few hours to the ship night, and he didn't want to face the darkness alone right now, the shadows slipping into his thoughts.
After a few more minutes, the door opened with a tiny creak, just wide enough for Switch's slender frame to squeeze through.
She was wearing her lightest sweater, he noticed; the one that could almost pass for cream white on the rare occasions when it was freshly washed. He understood what she was doing, trying to wrap herself in the little part of her usual brightness she could reach right now.
Finding himself more desperate for her light than he would have thought, he reached for her and pulled her in, until her arm was around him, secure.
"Tell me about some good memory," he murmured into her ear, feeling new tears stinging in his eyes. He knew that moment he wouldn't, couldn't leave without her, or stay on board; either way.
Thinking for a moment, Switch nestled closer into his embrace. Then he could feel her smile against his shoulder. "The place where I 'lived' in the Matrix was not very nice, just a very small and dark city apartment. But it had this tiny French balcony, and when the darkness felt too much, too close, I would stand there at night, and crane my neck until I could look up to the sky. I couldn't see much, tall buildings and light pollution all around; but often, there was this one bright star. I can't remember whether it was supposed to be a simulation of the polar star or a planet, but it was a nice little ritual, something reliable to find again and again."
Author's Note:
The story is based on what is said to be a cut piece of dialog from the scene between Cypher and Neo at night, about his predecessors having died because they believed they would be able to fight Agents.
Also, sensitive Apoc is the best Apoc, at least sometimes.
Can't have the two of them be all snarky and sassy all the time.