Full disclaimers on Chapter 1.
Stop NOW if DRAMA/TRAGEDY is NOT something you are interested into reading, or if it is a bad trigger for you.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.
I am not a native English speaker, and I don't have a beta. So all mistakes are 100% mine.
Enough of disclaimers and warnings – read at your own risk. Reviews are always welcome!
Chapter 94
Maura entered her house, and after washing her hands helped Angela in silence, getting cups and plates for biscuits and napkins. When they were all sat and silence fell, Maura picked the envelopes she had separated on the kitchen.
Angela looked at her, but saw Maura was in no state to talk. Angela could read all too well that Maura was functioning, barely.
Angela held Maura's hands, smiling gently at her, before taking the envelopes from her.
"You all should know… Jane… Maura told me earlier today Jane read this book during her treatment that gave her an idea to write a final message to the people she had something to say to. She did it in the different notebooks we all saw her carrying around in the past few months. So Maura separated them to the people they were meant to…"
Angela picked the envelopes, and distributed them around based on the names on it.
They all nodded, touched, holding their closed envelopes as a precious gift – and it really was.
Knowing they all still had too much to grieve, they stood to say their good-byes, leaving only Angela, Constance, Hope and Maura behind.
Maura continued in stunned silence. Every one of them who left had hugged her tightly, reiterating their love and their gratefulness for everything she had done for Jane and for them during the treatment. Maura had hugged them all back, cried a few times, nodded a few others. But she had not said a word.
Constance and Hope were at a loss of what to do or what to say to help Maura out of that trance.
Angela looked at them both, dried her hands on a kitchen towel, and nodded to Constance and Hope as if asking for their silent permission, that was given in the same way.
Angela entered the laundry room, and came back with a worn sweater and sweatpants, what left Constance and Hope puzzled. She then gently picked Maura by the elbow, and stirred her towards the guest bedroom, the room Jane had used in the past twenty months.
There, Angela closed the door behind her, sat on the bed, and patted the place by her side for Maura to sit.
Maura did as she was bid.
Angela took one of Maura's hands into hers, and with the other she cupped Maura's cheek to make her look at Angela while she spoke.
"Honey… I can only imagine how much you are hurting. And when the only person who knew how to make you speak or to read what you couldn't speak is not here any longer, it does not make it any easier. None of us is or will ever be Jane for you. But besides all the things Jane thanked me for in that beautiful letter you handed me this morning, she also asked a few things – about myself, about her brothers and about the kids mostly – but she had a few specific asks about you. Not that she needed to ask – you are my daughter too."
Maura's hazel eyes were locked into hers.
"I cannot bring Jane back, as much as I wish to. But right now, you need her more than I do."
Angela picked the worn sweatpants and sweaters from behind her.
"These were still pending to be washed. They still smell like her. Switch into them, and try to get some sleep, here. Okay?"
Maura picked the clothes eagerly, and buried her face into them.
She nodded to Angela, stood, and went into the guest bedroom bathroom, and came out quickly wearing the long legs and long arms clothes, folding them to her size.
Angela moved the covers and Maura slipped on what Angela knew it was Jane's side of the bed, burying her face in Jane's pillow.
Angela shook her head, and kissed Maura's temple.
"Get some rest, honey."
And she left, closing the door behind her.
Constance and Hope were talking quietly.
"Where is Maura?"
"I hope she will be asleep in a few minutes."
"But… how?"
"The dirty clothes I picked from the laundry… They were Jane's. I made Maura change into them and put her to sleep in Jane's side of bed and gave her Jane's pillow. She is missing Jane. It is just like you do with a baby and their preferred stuffed animal or blanket. The smell is comforting. Soon we will be out of that solution – Jane never wore any specific cologne, like Maura has hers, and this pair of sweaters was the only unwashed one in the laundry room. But baby steps, one day at a time…" Angela explained, exhaling, sitting heavily by one of the kitchen benches.
"I am worried about Maura." Hope offered, knowing the other two mothers also were.
"Me too. Did she accept your invitation to go to California with you?" Angela asked Constance.
"She didn't reply yet." Constance turned to Hope to explain. "I will be teaching three weeks of classes in Laguna Beach, beginning Monday, and I invited Maura to go with me. Change the scenery. Spend time outside hiking or in the beach – Laguna Beach has plenty of both."
"When do you leave?"
"My flight is tomorrow at noon. But she can join me any time she wants, if she prefers to go later."
"It would be good for her to go with you." Hope agreed. "If she stays behind, she will never go."
"I agree." Angela said. "Constance, you didn't eat, did you? My bet is that Maura didn't either, but I know she needs her sleep and comfort more than food for now."
"Don't worry about me."
Angela was having none of it.
"Sandwich is ok for now?"
The other two women nodded, and Angela proceed to prepare simple turkey sandwiches for the three of them.
"Let's see how much sleep we can get from Maura. If I had to guess, she will sleep two, three hours at most. We need to make her eat when she wakes up. If you let me know when she wakes up, Constance, I will come to prepare some dinner for us. Keeping busy helps me too. And we will then convince her to go with you."
"I will get the plane tickets assuming she will go." Constance said, after they ate.
"I am glad we met, Constance. It is a pity it was under these circumstances." Hope offered, before leaving.
"I am honored to meet you, Hope. It is comforting to see how Maura will look like – she takes so much after you…" Constance praised gently.
Constance was impressed by Angela's forecast. As the Rizzoli matriarch had anticipated, about three hours later Constance, who had settled in the living room to get the plane tickets arranged, heard the door to the guest bedroom open and Maura step out of it.
She was wearing the obviously oversized sweaters and sweatpants, that had been rolled on the waist and on the feet and on the wrists to fit her, but that were still too big.
But at least she looked less tense, not giving the impression she would bolt like a scared animal.
Constance sent a text to Angela, and put her phone down.
"Darling. Did you get some rest?"
"I did, mother, thank you. Did you eat? I completely overlooked your needs, my apologies."
Constance thought it was a good sign that Maura seemed to be thinking around her.
"I ate a sandwich with Angela and Hope, don't you worry about me. You needed to rest. Come here sit with me." Constance patted the place by her side in the sofa.
Maura approached and sat by her side.
"Have you given some thought about going with me to California?"
"I don't think I have thought about anything at all, mother, I am sorry. My mind is… hazy… to say the least."
"I understand. I… I got the tickets for you to go with me. I fly tomorrow at noon. I truly think it would be a good idea for you to come. I will not be there bothering you all day, you will have freedom to do as you please. But we can keep each other company for breakfasts, dinners and over the weekends."
Maura hesitated for a moment, before complying.
"I think I would like that."
"So why don't you go upstairs to pack? Angela said she wanted to cook a homemade dinner for us tonight, she should be here in a bit." Constance kissed Maura's temple, and saw her moving upstairs.
Angela entered the house a few minutes later.
"How is she?"
"She looked more rested and less tense. She is packing to go with me tomorrow."
"Thank God… she needs to spend time outside of the house, Constance. I know you will be teaching, but please make sure she plans her days to be outside. Twenty months cooped up was way too long. She lived for Jane for these past twenty months, she will need to relearn to live for doing things that she wants to do…"
Angela talked quietly with Constance while she moved around the kitchen getting things ready for a homemade dinner. Constance wished she could have that easy way of handling things, and she was glad Maura seemed to have easily picked that habit from Angela.
Maura came downstairs still on Jane's sweaters.
"Hi Angela." She offered shyly.
"Hi honey, did you get some rest?"
"I did, thank you. Your idea really helped..."
"I am glad. I hear you agreed to accompany your mother to California."
"I did. I am all packed up, just need to pick a few things from the office and I will be all set."
"Good, get the things from the office then, and then come back to help me set the table for us, will you?"
"Sure."
They watched as Maura came back a few minutes later, washed her hands and helped set the table.
When they were all finishing eating, Angela continued.
"Have you been to Laguna Beach before, Constance?"
"Yes, many many years ago. Before Maura came into our lives, actually."
"What about you, Maura?"
"It will be my first time."
"Maura, I need you to promise me something."
Maura raised her eyes, a serious expression on her face as she looked at Angela.
"I heard this Laguna Beach has wonderful hiking trails, besides a beautiful beach."
"It is famous for those, yes." Maura concurred.
"I want you to promise me you will go out of the house every day, Maura. Your mother will be teaching this course, so you might feel tempted to stay at home, reading, writing, thinking. Can you promise me that you will go out at least for a while every single day?"
Constance was realizing what this mothering was about. At first, she thought a grown up like Maura would be deeply annoyed with this type of intervention. But she realized that is what mothers do, daughters might fight it, roll their eyes, complain, it does not change that is what mothers do. She realized Angela was doing it as much as for Constance's benefit as she was doing for Maura's.
"Yes, Angela, I promise you, you don't need to worry about me."
"Good." Angela stood, removing the dishes and placing them on the dishwasher. "I will also be expecting to see lots of pictures, Maura…"
"Okay." Maura nodded.
"Good bye, Constance, safe travels!" Angela said, hugging Constance in a final greeting.
"I will see you in three weeks, honey. But I will be expecting daily updates." Angela hugged Maura, lovingly.