A/N: This story was inspired by a writing prompt on the Janet Evanovich Fan Fiction Facebook group. The prompt will be in bold when I use it in the story.

- Present day -

I had been hearing the gossip all day, everywhere I went. I heard whisperings in the bakery when I went in to get a cheese and egg croissant after Bob ate my first breakfast. When he started pooping in the kitchen, revealing that in addition to my omelet, he had also eaten half of one of my tennis shoes, I had no time to make anything else after cleaning up the mess.

Gossip in the 'Burg isn't always direct, but those purveyors of information make sure the news hits their target. I always knew if Steph blew up another car or had a bad takedown. If Manoso pulled her into the alley, someone would make sure I heard about it. We haven't even been a thing in four months, but people still take malicious glee in rubbing my nose in it. The news today is hitting hard. I always thought it would be me.

- Four months earlier -

"It's just not working, and I am tired of fighting the inevitable," Steph was explaining. We had been arguing about her job, again, after a particularly nasty skip had shot at her. Luckily, he missed but every time something happens to her, my heart lodges itself in my throat.

"Cupcake, I love you. I don't want to break up, I just want you to be safe. You shouldn't be a bounty hunter anymore."

She smiled gently. "I know, Joe, and thank you. But let's be honest with ourselves here. You want a wife who stays home and takes care of you, the kids, and the house. I don't want to get married or have kids and I definitely don't want to stay at home. I'd go crazy inside three days and we'd make each other miserable in the long run. That's why we should just call it time now and hope we can stay friends."

"Cupcake, what are you talking about? Every woman wants to get married and be a mother. And you don't have to stay home all day. You can work part-time somewhere, just not as a bounty hunter," I said, before quickly adding, "and not at Rangeman."

She sighed noisily. "Joe, you just don't get it. You don't get me. When have you ever known me to be just like every other woman?"

I stared at her without speaking, my jaw clenching, my hands curled into fists at my sides. I didn't know what to say, what to tell her so she'd understand. After a few minutes, she stood up and moved to the front door. "Take care of yourself, Joe." And she left.

Later that night, my cousin Mooch came over with a case of beer to watch the game. I had forgotten we had plans, but it was pretty good timing. All I wanted to do was drink beer and forget everything that happened. I don't remember what game it was, or even what sport. All I could think about was my Cupcake.

- Three months earlier -

I haven't seen much of Steph since that day in my house. I'd only seen her a handful of times in that time, in passing at the police station when she brought in a skip, or at one of the 'Burg haunts. She would wave at me with that little finger thing she does, but until she was ready to come to her senses, I didn't want to talk to her. She'll come back though; she always does. And when she does, I will make it clear what I expect if she wants to continue being my girlfriend.

- Two months earlier -

I started hearing rumblings about Manoso and my Cupcake being seen together. I had heard he was back from wherever he went when he wasn't in town. I smirked. Probably banging some other Babe in another city. My mother and Steph's mother warned me, told me I better get her back before she's gone for good. I snorted when I heard that. He'll never settle down; he'll never make an honest woman of Steph. When he kicks her to the curb, she'll be back. In the meantime, since I'm a free agent, I should make some calls, get myself laid tonight. Wonder what Terri's doing…

- Present day -

What the hell? Did Shirley just say Steph's getting married? She has to be wrong. There's no way. Cupcake said she didn't want to get married. If she was going to get married, four fucking months after we broke up, then she should be marrying me! I had her first. She wasted three years of my life!

I stormed away from the roll call room to my office and slammed the door. Steph owes me an explanation.

I grabbed the keys from my desk to my police POS. I would track her down and demand answers. After making a few calls, I finally found her at her parents' house. She was evidently picking up her Grandma Mazur to attend the funeral of Caroline Appleby. When I pulled up in front of the house, Steph and her grandma were coming down the stairs. I vaulted from the car and stomped my way towards them, taking my Cupcake by the arm and leading her towards my car. "What's the big idea, Steph? You told me four months ago you didn't want to get married and now you're marrying that thug? Were you fucking him the whole time we were together? Is that why you broke up with me?"

She tried to yank her arm away, but I held her tightly in my grip. "Get your hands off me! I don't owe you an explanation. I broke up with you because you want a 'Burg housewife and the requisite two-point-five kids. I told you that wasn't me, and it's not. Ranger will never force that life on me. And no, I wasn't fucking him at all when we were together, how dare you think that I'd do that!" She was angry and by the time she was done speaking, it was more in the nature of yelling.

I could see the curtains start moving in the windows surrounding the Plum residence. I leaned in and said in a low tone, "I didn't get the chance to be your first husband, but if you go through with this wedding, I'm not going to hang around to see if I can take third place. So you better be damned sure he's not going to get sick of you and leave like he always does." I released her arm and went back to my car, not waiting to see if she wanted to say anything else. She'd soon realize I was right. He is always skipping town without a word, and when he got tired of her wrecking his cars and leaving everything around her in chaos, he'd bounce. I might consider taking her back, but only after sufficient grovelling. And maybe a few blow jobs.

- Two months later -

She actually went through with it. She married Manoso this morning. I wasn't there of course. No one in Trenton was. She married him in a beach ceremony in Hawaii and broadcast it to her friends and family via some sort of streaming thing online. Connie sent me the link, along with a bride emoji. I didn't want to watch, but I had a sick compulsion to watch as the love of my life joined together with the man I hated more than any other. The man who somehow got his hooks into her and fed her pretty bullshit that she swallowed hook, line, and sinker. I wasn't kidding before though. I won't be number three when Manoso takes off on her.

- Six months later -

I didn't see Steph for a long time after that, until today. Today I literally ran into her in the Tasty Pastry. I was leaving the store and she was coming in. I looked up and started apologizing before realizing who I ran into.

She looked good and her face was glowing. I scanned her body from head to toe and I was stunned to realize she's pregnant. At least four or five months, I thought, based on her belly. I looked at her for a long moment, then walked away.

Fuck. I lost her.