Lost and Foundling
A/N: After I wrote "Lost and Found" I had second thoughts about Han Solo declining the reward for Luke's return, so I decided to write a different and slightly more comical version of the story. Hope you enjoy, please read and review!
"So long as the hyperdrive doesn't conk out on us, Chewie," Han Solo told his wookiee friend, "by this time tomorrow we'll be landing on Coruscant."
Chewbacca howled in response, not sounding as enthusiastic about it as his Corellian friend.
"So we've had a few hiccups along the way," Han replied dismissively, "we're still making excellent time, for which I'm extremely thankful." He sat down in his seat at the cockpit, "The sooner we reach the Imperial palace, the sooner we can put a lot of our problems behind us."
Chewie turned his head towards the smuggler and chattered.
"No I don't think I'm being unfair," Han said. "I'm a cargo hauler, not a babysitter."
As if on cue, a borderline whining voice called down the corridor, "The water's cold in the fresher."
"Be grateful you have water," Han replied as he stared out at the blinding white stripes that were the stars they passed.
17-year-old Luke Skywalker wandered into the cockpit, his blond hair temporarily darkened, straightened and lengthened from being wet, it laid down flat and an occasional drop of water fell on the floor.
"Okay, I took a shower," Luke said, unamused, "Now what?"
"Now you go to bed," Han told him, still not even turning to look at the kid.
"I don't want to go to bed," Luke replied, "I want to play dejarik with Chewie again."
The wookiee howled in reply, but Han cut both of them off and told Luke, finally turning towards him, "Forget it, go to bed."
"But I don't have a game table at home," Luke whined.
"Well it sucks to be you then, doesn't it, Junior?" Han remarked. "Bed."
Luke scowled at him before turning around and storming out of the cockpit.
Chewbacca chattered at the captain of the Millennium Falcon.
"Don't you start with me either," Han warned him. "Fun's fun but we've been hauling this kid around with us for a week and we're about to go broke just getting him back home." He tiredly rubbed one eye and added, "I will be so glad when we can unload him."
"Okay, kid, let's see if we can't get that whomp rat's nest you call hair straightened out," Han said as he picked up his comb and tried running it through Luke's hair that had gotten tangled up while he slept, "and try to make you presentable for your father."
Luke tried turning his head and asked, "Why? My father already knows what I look like."
"I'm aware of that," Han dryly remarked as he stood over the kid sitting on the bunk, "I also know your father has a reputation in this galaxy and I don't want anything giving him the impression that you've had inadequate care while you've been traveling with us."
"Ow!" Luke yelped as the teeth of the comb caught on a particularly large tangle.
"Shut up," Han replied.
Luke tipped his head back to look up at the smuggler and asked, "What about my droid?"
"Yeah yeah, we'll make sure it goes with you," Han told him. "I don't want that thing on this ship any longer than it has to be."
Han heard Chewie's howl echoing off the walls from the cockpit clear to the lounge.
"Oh great, we're going to be landing in about half an hour," he said, "well kid, it ain't that it hasn't been fun, but this is where you get off."
"Can I come back with you guys someday?" Luke asked hopefully.
"Forget it, Junior, we got no use for passengers," Han told him.
"But I can help."
"I'm sure you can, as it is we're a two-man crew and that's how it stays," Han said.
Luke whined as he tipped his head down to look at the floor.
Han ran the comb through Luke's gold locks a few more times and when he finished he ran his hand over the crown one more time to smooth it all down.
"Okay, Junior, you actually look semi-cute, but don't let it go to your head."
Chewbacca howled at Han as they saw several Imperial patrol crafts heading straight for them.
"So maybe we should've landed outside the gates," Han grumbled, "oh well, we're here now, let's get this over with." He stood up from his seat and hollered, "Let's go, Luke, it's checkout time!"
The boarding ramp was lowered and the three of them walked down and were met with an army of Imperial officers and Stormtroopers, all holding blasters on them.
"State your purpose here," one of the Imperials demanded.
"Tell Darth Vader we want to see him," Han said.
That was proven moot as the front doors of the Imperial palace opened and the hulking figure in black marched out towards them.
"What is the meaning of this?" his deeply modulated voice asked.
"Hi Father!" Luke waved cheerfully.
"Luke!"
The boy broke away from the Corellian and the wookiee and dashed over to his father and hugged him. Han shot the Imperials a smug look and watched as they reluctantly lowered their weapons and stood aside.
"Who are you?" Vader asked.
"Captain Han Solo of the Millennium Falcon, sir," Han answered, and pointed to the wookiee, "this is my navigator Chewbacca."
Chewie gave a small nod and howled in greeting.
"I see," Darth Vader responded, still with Luke clinging to him he turned towards the palace entrance, "Come inside."
"Don't mind if we do," Han said nonchalantly, shooting another snide look to the officers.
Luke was practically standing on his father's feet and only moved as his father moved, he nuzzled his face against the armor covering Vader's shoulder and said, "I missed you, Father."
"I missed you too, child. Where have you been?"
"All over the galaxy," Luke answered simply.
Vader was finally able to pry Luke off of him and get the Corellian alone in his office.
"Where did you find him?" Vader asked in genuine curiosity.
"Well actually sir, he found us," Han said. "We were mid-flight when we discovered him stowed away on our ship."
"What is your line of work, Captain Solo?" the dark lord inquired.
"Freight hauling, sir," Han answered. "Chewie and I were delivering a shipment on Tatooine and after we took off we discovered him hiding in the cargo hold."
"Tatooine?" Vader repeated in disbelief.
Han nodded. "Yes sir. He told us he'd been kidnapped while you guys were on Alderaan and he'd just managed to escape from his abductors."
"Why didn't you contact me immediately?" Vader wanted to know.
"For one thing we couldn't, our ship's comm system got fried when we came through a meteor shower," Han explained. "For another, he only told us his name, he didn't tell us right away where he lived, or who you were. Tell you the truth, sir, I think he just liked being out in the galaxy flying."
"It's a family trait," Vader said half dismissively.
"For another thing," Han added, "until he actually told us who you were, we just assumed he was an orphan, there's a lot of them running around the universe."
Vader nodded in understanding.
Han cleared his throat, "Well I don't want to seem single-minded, but I believe now that he's home and you can see for yourself that he's safe and sound, a matter of compensation is in order."
"Yes," Vader nodded, "I'll arrange for your payment."
"Well I'm really glad to hear that, sir," Han said. "I figure 2,500 credits ought to cover it."
Vader had been reaching for his comm link and immediately halted when he heard that. He turned and stared at the Corellian, and asked, even through the vocoder a hint of a dumbfounded tone was detectable. "2,500?"
Han put his hands up to explain, "Now I know it sounds like a lot, but I figure I've got all the charges broken down nice and orderly: food, fuel, and freight."
"Freight?" Vader repeated, sounding even more dumbfounded now than before.
"He had a droid he insisted on bringing with him, an Astromech model," Han said. "Noisy little thing, I don't understand a bleep it says but I have an idea it's been insulting me the whole flight here."
"This is most unusual," Vader observed.
"Well I tend to think the same thing about most droids," Han started to say but got cut off.
"Not that," Vader told him. "Your demand for 2,500 credits."
"Well it might be a bit forward but I think fair's only fair, sir," Han replied.
Vader stood there frozen in silence save his respirator's mechanized breathing, finally he looked at Han and told him, "Mr. Solo, you are a very pretentious person."
"Well I've been called worse things in my life," Han remarked, not sure where this was going.
"You come in here demanding 2,500 credits on top of a million?" Vader asked.
Han's eyes squinted, "What million? All I want is to get back the 2,500 credits it cost me to turn around and get your kid back here, I don't think that's being unreasonable."
"You..." Vader paused again, and the next time he spoke there was a hint of realization in his modulated voice, "you didn't know?"
Han shrugged. "Know what?"
"There was a million credit reward posted for Luke's safe return," Vader told him.
"Oh well that's no problem," Han said nonchalantly, "we'll just take the 2,500 out of the million in trade and..." Han's eyes blinked a few times and got big, "hey wait a minute, a million?" His eyes rolled back in his head and he fell back on the floor in a dead faint, his feet shot up in the air before his legs slammed against the floor.
The door opened and Luke stepped in and saw the pilot laying on the floor.
"What happened to Han?" he asked his father.
"Oh...nothing," Vader responded. He looked to his son and asked, "What's this about you bringing a droid with you?"
Chewbacca howled in explanation as he hauled the white and blue R2 droid into the room.
"Can I keep it, Father?" Luke asked hopefully.
"Luke, you said the same thing about the tookah cat," Vader reminded him.
"Please, Father," Luke said, "he just needs a little work."
Darth Vader contemplated it for a minute before reaching over and patting Luke on the back of the head and saying, "Very well."
Luke's whole face lit up and he hugged his father. "Thank you."
"The most important things in a father's life are his son's wellbeing and his happiness," Vader told him. Turning his head he looked at the droid and added, "And if it doesn't work out, there's always the trash compactor."
The droid whirred to life beeping and whistling frantically as it jotted its head from side to side in protest. Chewbacca howled in response as he carried it out of the room.
Han heard the familiar sound of a wookiee howling, and he slowly started to come to and saw Chewie standing over him.
"Chewie? What happened? I had a dream a bunch of mouse droids were trying to sweep me up. What happened?"
His vision was blurry, he blinked a few times and now saw a tall figure in black hovering over him.
"Oh it's you again, what happened?" Han asked.
"We were discussing your payment."
"Oh yeah..." there was a small look of recognition on Han's face, before it turned into a large expression of confusion, and he looked up at the masked face and asked, "Did I hear you right?"
"One million credits for Luke's safe return."
"That's what I thought," Han said. "Chewie, help me up."
Chewbacca snorted as he grabbed the smuggler by the arm and pulled him to his feet.
"You really had no idea?" Vader inquired.
Han shook his head.
"That's not possible, the whole galaxy was informed."
"Well to tell you the truth we've been keeping under the radar for the past week, I don't always haul cargo for the most legitimate of clients."
"You're a smuggler."
"Yes sir," Han nodded without missing a beat. "When it's called for, and this last order was called for."
"What was it?"
"A load of carbine blasters to a race of people who have been enslaved for generations and are looking for a way out, don't ask me where they got the money for it, I don't ask questions, I just deliver the goods," Han explained.
The only sound in the room for a few seconds was Vader's respirator, before the dark lord finally responded, "I suppose I should be grateful for that." Somehow, in some weird way, it had all worked out. They were in the right place at the right time for Luke to escape his captors, and the rest was history.
"Father, can I have a game table?" Luke asked.
"Whatever for, Luke?" Vader inquired.
"Han had one on his ship and Chewbacca and I played dejarik a lot," his son answered.
"I should've guessed," Vader responded.
"I had a great time with them, Father."
"I'm glad to hear it."
"Do you think I'll ever..." Luke's attention turned to somebody coming their way, he turned his head and his eyes bugged out, "Han! Chewie!"
"Hi, folks," Han said in a restrained voice as if testing the waters, "are we interrupting something?"
"No," Vader responded skeptically, "but what are you doing back here?"
"Uh...well sir, I wanted to discuss the reward with you," Han said.
"Again?"
"Hear me out," Han raised a hand. "Chewie and I were discussing this...and...as much as it kills me to say this, and believe me, sir, it really does, I...I'm..." Han sucked in a breath and forced the sentence out in practically a single sound, "Imnottakingthemillion."
"I don't understand," Vader responded.
"Me either," Luke shook his head.
"This is a once in a lifetime opportunity," Han said. "I had more money than I've ever seen in my life right in my grasp, but then it hit me...what would I actually do with it? I mean that's enough money I wouldn't have to haul cargo anymore...and I wouldn't have to do business with the shady people I do...but if I didn't have that, what would I do with the rest of my life? Me and Chewie have been doing this long enough it's who we are, and that kind of money would just take all the challenge out of it...believe me, any other time I'd jump at this opportunity, but, we're returning most of the reward. Like I said, we need to get a new comm system for the ship..."
Chewbacca howled in interjection.
"Yeah and we need to make a few other repairs on the ship," Han agreed, "and we got into a scrape a while back and owe some money to Jabba the Hutt...so I figure 25,000 credits will cover everything and get us a little ahead of the game."
The sound of Darth Vader's respirator was the only sound in the room for a moment as everyone just looked at one another, waiting whatever came next.
Finally the dark lord broke the silence by commenting, "You certainly are a strange man, Captain Solo."
"I'll take that as a compliment," the Corellian responded.
Luke became aware of something more than just the feeling of his chest rising and lowering with each breath he took and the soft sheets he was wrapped up in. He opened his eyes and though the room was mostly dark, he could make out R2 being charged in the corner, and his father standing over him.
"Father? What is it?" Luke asked as he pushed his hands against the mattress to sit up. "What're you doing?"
"Watching you sleep," the dark lord answered as if it were the most natural thing in the galaxy.
Luke made an amused sound as he fell back against the pillows. "Father, you can't keep doing that, I'm too old for it."
"For a week I had no idea if you were dead or alive," his father pointed out, "I have the right."
Luke hadn't thought about it like that.
He felt one of his father's gloved hands in his hair and pressing against his scalp as the man asked him, "Why didn't you tell Solo to bring you home immediately?"
Luke shrugged. "I wasn't sure if he would...I didn't have any idea who they were, at first I thought I could hide out in the cargo hold until the ship docked somewhere and try to make contact. Then when they found me, I figured I'd test the waters and see if they were actually trustworthy, and not someone who'd try to ransom me."
"Fair point."
"I like him, Father."
"He certainly is an unusual person," the dark lord replied.
"I can't believe he wouldn't take the reward," Luke said.
"Neither can I."
"Do you think I'll ever see him again?" Luke asked.
"Stranger things truly have happened," Vader said in lieu of an answer. "Now go to sleep, young one."
Luke tiredly nodded. As he settled back down under the covers he added, "Thanks for letting me keep Artoo."
"Where did you find that droid anyway?" Vader asked.
"He was on the ship I escaped from," Luke answered, "he helped me. I guess he wanted to get out of there as badly as I did. It was his idea to hide on the Millennium Falcon."
"His idea?"
Luke could hardly keep his eyes open as he responded, "He's one smart droid."
"I suppose so."
"I hope you're happy," Han grumbled to Chewbacca as they flew through hyperspace, "A million credits and we just give it up."
His furry navigator howled at him in return.
"What is it with you and doing 'the right thing'?" Han wanted to know.
Chewbacca snorted in response.
"Karma? I don't believe in it," Han told him.
Chewie nodded and made a grunting sound similar to him laughing.
"Now what is that supposed to mean?" Han asked. "So I've had a little bad luck from time to time..."
The wookiee shook his head and snorted.
"Okay, so it's been a few years," Han said, "but I still don't see how cheating ourselves out of the money is going to help that any."
A few hours later they landed on Tatooine and headed straight to Jabba's palace. They were stopped at the entrance by several guards.
"What do you want here, Solo?"
"Tell Jabba I got his money," Han answered smugly, "with interest."
"You would."
The smuggler blinked. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Your debt to Jabba was already paid earlier today."
"That's impossible, we just got here," Han said, not enjoying the runaround he was getting.
"I know. It was paid on your behalf by the Empire."
Han did a slow double take. "The...what?"
"Be on your way and get lost."
With that, the guards reentered the palace and the door closed hard on them.
Han turned to Chewbacca and inquired, "Karma, huh?"
The wookiee howled in response.
"Okay, so maybe you got a point," Han said as they turned around and headed back to the ship. "So we are now several thousand credits richer than we'd anticipated."
Chewie grunted.
"Yeah, now we can actually get new parts for the ship." He turned and glanced back at the palace and shook his head. "I still don't believe it." He added as he turned forward and they resumed walking, "Hmm, I guess everybody got a happy ending here. Luke's home, Darth Vader got his kid back, we get paid for it without having to hand it over to Jabba. Only thing that could make this more perfect would be if I ran into a beautiful woman."
A couple minutes later they turned a corner and crossed paths with a wookiee who was almost as tall as Chewbacca but with darker fur that was all smoothly kempt. The two wookiees stopped and exchanged howls before they were each on their way.
"Okay so maybe I should've been more specific on the species," Han commented.