"Hyung... dy... wake... get up, Changbin-hyung!"
Someone's loud voice pulls the Lee family's guest's consciousness from his dream.
"Finally, you woke up," said Minho's husband, who was holding a ten-month-old baby boy. He and his baby are dressed in dark shades, ready to go to the funeral home. "Get ready, baby Jiho and I wait downstairs." He went down to the kitchen, not waiting for Changbin's answer.
The morning sunlight blazed his eyes. Changbin leaned his back againts the headboard, gathered his consciousness and thinking about Felix's ghost. He believes that someone as good as Felix is unlikely to haunt him, it's impossible for Felix to have regrets in his life. Last night's event must been his hallucination in hoping for Felix's regret because he left without teaching him how to let go.
"Changbin-hyung! Hurry up."
Hearing Felix's brother-in-law's calling him downstairs, Changbin rushed to clean himself, changing his clothes to a set of clothes provided by the host.
Fifteen minutes later, he entered the kitchen located at the back of the house. His eyes were fixed on two stranger toddlers eating french toast at a round dining table. "Jisung, did you adopt more than one child?"
"Nope. We're just adopting baby Jiho." Jisung feeds a spoonful of oats porridge to his baby's mouth. "Ah. Are you curious about them? These twins look like our tiny chick, don't they?
Changbin and the two lemon haired boys looked at each other closely. The facial structure of the twins resembles Felix when he was a kid. Their only differences was accentuated by their eyes, one has sharp eyes, the other has shady eyes, like a mini-version of his beloved.
"Uncle Jisung, who is this uncle?" asked the shady-eyed boy.
"Your father," Jisung replied. "Junior, Yongbok, introduce yourselves to Appa Bin." He added.
"Is uncle name's Seo Changbin?" The boy with sharp eyes confirmed the identity of the man across from his seat.
Changbin nodded his head.
"Appa!" The shady-eyed boy ran to Changbin's place, hugging his father's feet. "Daddy used to tell us about Appa."
"I'm Lee Yongbok, Junior's twin brother." The sharp-eyed boy introduced himself first.
"My name is Lee Felix Junior. Four years old," said the shady-eyed boy, still hugging his father's feet.
Changbin understands his situation, but he insists on rejecting the fact in front of him. He asked the identities of the two toddlers, wishing his bad prejudices about Felix were wrong, "...who are they?"
"They are Felix's child." Jisung answered, knocking down Changbin's wall of trust in his beloved.
It's the second time, Changbin froze with the news of his late lover. Like Jisung, Felix doesn't have a womb, he can't conceive let alone give birth to a child.
"Appa?"
Changbin's anger peaks when his black iris meets Junior's blue iris. He let go of Felix's mini-version hug roughly. "I'm not your father."
"Hyung, don't vent your anger on them. They're just kids!" Changbin's actions automatically move Jisung's legs towards Junior.
Jisung empathizes with Changbin. If Jisung's in his position, his emotions will also overflow, even more than Changbin's anger. But he will never vent his anger on children!
Agreeing to Jisung's words, Changbin steps his foot out of the room before he loses control of his emotions.
"Appa wants to see daddy, right?" His step was held back by his son's hand. "Junior wants to come too."
"Junior." Jisung kept Junior away from his father. He's worried that Changbin accidentally injures his son.
Junior's innocent gaze opens Changbin's eyes to the condition of their equally losing loved ones. He lost his boyfriend, the twins lost their daddy.
Putting aside his ego, Changbin breathed a heavy sigh. "... do you know what happened to your daddy?"
"Hem. Uncle Minho said, daddy has a long sleep like in the Snow White fairy tale."
Changbin knows what Minho means. It's too early for a kid of their age to know the news of his daddy's death. He glanced at Jisung, demanding an explanation of how these children were born into the world.
Sensitive to Changbin's glance, Jisung drops Junior from his arms. "Junior, Yongbok. Can you guys play in your room? Uncle wants to talk to Appa Bin alone."
Junior heeded his uncle's orders, he pulled Yongbok's hand into their room, "Bokkie, let's play in our room."
After confirming the twins had go to upstairs, Jisung began the conversation, "Honestly, me and Minho were also confused. Suddenly Felix's co-worker came bringing a coffin and a twins. Based on his description, the job risk took Felix's life, he died in his disguise at the terrorist headquarters."
Felix's death was caused by the cursed profession of his lifelong dream. Despite Felix's cause of death as he suspected, the tightness in Changbin's chest did not subside, instead it was piled up there.
"Minho asked who the twin's birth mother is. Unfortunately, Felix's co-worker locks his lips tightly. It's better not to know if your family wants to live long, he said as I recall. In detail, you can ask Minho." Jisung fall silent, watching Changbin's reaction for a moment. "Those twins think of you as their biological father. Try to think of Felix's legacy as your own, Hyung."
How come? How can he regard the child of an affair as his own flesh and blood? What kind of servant of God who can do it? Changbin wondered to his own conscience.
"Jisung... I can't think of them as my children. Their presence signifies that Felix- Felix- he betrayed my trust..."
"I know, I know how you feel." Jisung patted Changbin on the shoulder, showing his sympathy. "Minho and i will explain the truth to the twins. Treat them both as your own son. At least, until our mourning period ends."
Changbin thought of Jisung's suggestion deeply. Those kids don't have the power to determine their birth. Junior and Yongbok did not choose Felix as his daddy, did not choose Changbin as his papa. It was God who left them to Felix and now left to Changbin.
"Alright. I'll try, but I can't guarantee it."