"Without you in my arms, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching the crowds for your face - I know it's an impossibility, but I cannot help myself."
- Nicholas Sparks, "Message In A Bottle"
It was a remarkably warm March day. Within the penthouse atop the Brandenham Hotel, Bitsy was only now rousing herself from a deep sleep exacerbated by her alcoholism. Naturally, the first words to come out of her mouth were an order to get her a drink.
Helen couldn't help but sigh deeply. "Bitsy, you just woke up."
"Yeah, so? Get me a drink."
"Why? You're already running late for brunch with Whitney. Shouldn't you think about getting ready for that?"
"Don't talk back to me, Helen. Drink. Now."
Helen just sighed again. "Mind if I ask what kind of drink you want?"
"Son Of A Rose. Now hurry up and have Lionel make it."
Bitsy just watched as Helen went down to the bar to get her the latest novelty cocktail she invented. Then, once she was sure Helen was gone, she went on her iPhone 13 Pro Max and started texting Whitney that she was getting ready for their brunch date. When she didn't get an immediate response back, she proceeded to incessantly text her best friend until Helen came back with her drink.
Bitsy looked over to see Helen standing there with her Son Of A Rose. "Oh, thank God. Give me the drink. I need something to do while I wait for Whitney to text back."
"She hasn't texted back yet?"
"No! Can you believe her? That bitch thinks she can just ignore me like it's no big deal. I'm going to send more texts if she doesn't respond within fifteen minutes."
"She's probably busy right now. Look, why don't you just take the drink before you send anything you can't take back?"
"Fine." Bitsy did just that and took a long, raucous pull. "But she better text back in fifteen minutes."
"I'm sure she will." Suddenly, Helen heard her phone ringing. She picked up. "Hello?" All she could offer was silence as she listened. "Okay, calm down, Maya. Tell me what happened." More silence. "Oh God, really? That's awful. I'm sorry you and Goldie had to find out that way." Even more silence. "Alright, I'll tell Bitsy, but I don't think she'll take it well." Yet more silence. "Mm-hmm. Alright, I guess I'll let you go. It was nice talking to you. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to help. You know I'll always be here for you if you need me. Take care of yourself, okay? Bye."
With that, Helen hung up.
"Who was that?" Bitsy asked, irritated.
"That was Maya," Helen replied. "She called to tell me that your brunch date won't be happening after all."
"What? Why not?"
"Well..." Helen thought carefully on how to answer that question. "Whitney's dead."
Bitsy nearly dropped her Son Of A Rose. "What? What happened?"
"Apparently, she slipped while taking a shower last night and hit her head. She seemed okay at first, but then she got ready for bed, went to sleep, and then just never woke up."
"Isn't that how Bob Saget died?"
"Pretty much. I'm sorry."
The news hit Bitsy like a ton of bricks. "Oh God, it can't be... she's gone?" She let out a heavy sigh. "Alright, I'm due for another drink anyway. Helen, go back down to the bar and tell Lionel to make me a sangria."
Helen had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. "Fine."
Bitsy just watched as Helen went back down to the bar to get her a sangria. Once she was certain she was gone, Bitsy tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill, but it was no use. She let out a loud sob and collapsed back onto the bed, burying her face in her hands and spilling most of her Son Of A Rose.
The shock of it all had left her feeling empty and hollow. She'd loved Whitney just as much as she loved Shampagne, perhaps even more so, and now she was gone. She was still coming to terms with the fact that her best friend was gone and she was alone. Shampagne looked over and proceeded to stare at his owner for as long as he possibly could, knowing that there was little he could do to ease her pain except just being there for her. The mutt stayed with her and allowed her in grieve in peace, offering his silent support and companionship the whole time. Bitsy appreciated his presence and felt a little comforted to have him by her side.
When Bitsy and Helen snuck into Whitney's funeral, they decided to take a couple seats all the way in the back. Shampagne came along as well, but being a dog, he was only allowed to sit and lie down on the floor. Even while they were sitting all the way in the back, they could tell that the attendants were somber and teary-eyed over having to say goodbye to the woman of the hour. At the forefront, a priest went up to the stand and started speaking.
"We're gathered here today to say goodbye to Whitney Blanche Diamond and to commit her into the hands of God," the priest began. "I understand that every single attendant is here because, for better or worse, she made a tremendous impact in your life. I also understand that she died ignobly before her time could truly come. She had so many more plans for the future that now will never come to pass. As we prepare to reunite her soul with her body and with Christ, let us rejoice in what she shared with us while she was here. In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
While the priest began to give a homily, Helen looked ahead of her and noted that most of the people in attendance were Whitney's immediate family members. Other relatives (like Whitney's niblings and great-niblings through her sister Vanessa) were few and far in between. Most of them probably either couldn't be inclined to show up or had more important affairs to tend to.
Spinel was also there, having styled her black cherry cola ombre hair into micro braids with loose curls for this occasion. Helen remembered meeting Spinel a few times when Whitney was still alive. From what she'd gathered, Spinel seemed as if she had the mentality of a child and was preoccupied in her own mindscape, characteristics that reminded her of Bitsy all too often. Fortunately, it seemed Goldie and Maya were doing a great job making sure Spinel had a steady head on her shoulders.
The only people Helen couldn't recognize were the sixty-something-year-old Black man and then who she could only presume were his wife and children. She had no idea who these people were or how they knew Whitney in the first place. Even when she heard the man introduce himself as Ulysses Scheele, Helen still had no idea who he was or why he and his family were attending Whitney's funeral. Not that it really mattered anyway, since it wasn't like Helen even wanted to be here. So she started mentally counting down the minutes until the service would be over.
The priest then began to recite: "Lord our God, you are the source of life. In you we live and move and have our being. Keep us in life and death in your love, and, by you grace, lead us to your kingdom, Through your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord."
The congregation then replied with, "Amen."
As the priest continued to talk a bit more, Bitsy's thoughts started wandering off elsewhere. How did she ever get to a point in her life where Steven Universe, the renowned Gen Alpha activist and TikTok influencer, had managed to get her and Whitney to be friends again? Him being Whitney's grandson probably had something to do with it, but still... how did he get them to reconcile? Had their friendship been salvageable this whole time or was Steven's intervention just a fluke? How long would the friendship have lasted before things went south again? Was it ever meant to be? Was life even worth living anymore? Was she going to accept death graciously? Was she doomed to ask herself these things forever? Before her thoughts could spiral any further, Shampagne pawed at her to pet him. Bitsy reached down to stroke his fur and speak baby-talk to him, being ever so grateful for his presence.
Once the priest was finished speaking, Steven came up to give the first eulogy. Bitsy and Helen could only sit there and listen as he started off by going into great detail about Whitney and what her life had been like, down to the extraordinarily sordid details (some of which Bitsy wished she didn't have to relive at that moment). Once he was finished, he then started giving the surviving family advice on how to stand strong in the face of tragedy and hardship. Things only got interesting when Steven brought up Whitney's granddaughter Sapphire's story of overcoming homophobia, and Goldie proceeded to start yelling about how Sapphire didn't deserve to be the new owner of Diamond Bright Records and how Steven apparently told his grandmother to give Sapphire the company. Chaos ensued.
Bitsy couldn't look away. This was the kind of drama she lived for, especially at yearly family reunions. It was like watching a car accident unfold in slow motion.
"Get off my back, Maya!" Bitsy could hear Goldie yelling at one point. "I'm not in the mood to hear your bullshit!"
"Goldie, stop," Maya could be heard pleading. "I'm only trying to help..."
Eventually, Goldie begrudgingly left the service before she could see her sister give the next eulogy. Just like with the first eulogy, Bitsy and Helen had to sit and listen to Maya bring up some good memories she'd had with her mother and talk about the things Whitney had taught her over the years. For Helen, at least, it was rather upsetting watching the woman she loved solemnly and tearfully stand there and describe her mother and the legacy she left behind. It made her feel a little guilty about choosing this particular day to end things with Maya. They'd already been drifting apart as of late (namely, because of their busy schedules and currently having different priorities in life), and Whitney's death was the last straw. Helen hoped that they could still be friends after that.
The rest of the funeral went on with the priest spouting out more Bible passages that seemed pertinent to the service before playing a video slideshow that was set to Ed Sheeran's "Supermarket Flowers", Boyz II Men's "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday", and James Taylor's "Song for You Far Away." Once that was over with, everyone was given a chance to view Whitney's body up close. In accordance with Greek Orthodox funeral customs, Whitney's body faced east with her feet towards the altar. After letting everyone else get their look at the deceased, Helen picked Bitsy up and brought her over to look at Whitney up close.
Helen just couldn't get the image of Whitney's face out of her head. The mortuary makeup artist seemed to have done a great job making the late record mogul look as if she were merely sleeping in her casket. Actually, whoever did Whitney's makeup and outfit actually made her look so much better than she did while alive, possibly even made her look years younger. They'd picked out the exact colors for her eyeshadow, her lipstick, her nails, and even the foundation she used; and they'd committed themselves to paying attention to detail, down to the minute things like her hearing aids. As for attire, Whitney was outfitted with a long, flowing, billowing white dress and accompanying cape covered with glitter and stars. According to Bitsy, this was the very dress Whitney had worn when she publicly opened Diamond Bright Records to the world in 1965. Amazingly, even after all those years, it still fit her.
Afterwards, Bitsy and Helen decided to bring Shampagne back to the Brandenham instead of coming along for a Trisagion service at the grave site. They had more important affairs to tend to.
Decades worth of letters and photos was piled up at Bitsy's desk. She rarely paid attention to what kind of papers and pictures Helen would bring in, usually just tossing them onto her desk without so much as a second thought. There had to be something in that pile that could remind her of Whitney and assure her everything would be okay. She spent hours, maybe even a full day going through everything. There had to be something in that pile. There had to be. Whitney couldn't have just died without leaving her one last message, right? Right?
She couldn't find anything. No reassurance, no words from beyond the grave, no secret message, nothing. Tears stung in her eyes. Whitney died for nothing, didn't she? Whitney's death was as pointless as Bitsy's life was now. No point; just pain and suffering. This was all Bitsy would have to deal with until she died. Just pain and suffering. That was no way for someone to live. What good was life now that both purposes in her life, gloating to Ambrose about her success and being part of Whitney's life, were gone? Without them, there was no meaning. She might as well just die and get it over with.
With her body shaking, her heart pounding, and warm tears flowing egregiously down her face, something inside her just snapped. All those letters and photos she'd been holding were soon reduced to shreds as she started to scream. Next thing she knew, furniture was being thrown around and destroyed as she screamed until her voice felt like it would give out and she had to cough. As if in an instant, it was all over. Bitsy just stood there, breathing heavily, trying not to think. Trying not to think about Whitney, her death... trying not to think about her. She couldn't do it. She just started crying again.
At that moment, Helen came in and noticed the disarray Bitsy's study was in. She'd never seen Bitsy destroy everything in her path like this, not even after a confrontation with her own brother. She tried to push back her anxiety.
"Is... everything alright?" Helen hesitantly asked.
"Of course not!" Bitsy yelled at her. "Whitney's dead!"
"I know. We came back from her funeral two days ago." Helen walked over a little closer to Bitsy's desk. "Bitsy, don't you think you should come to bed? Obsessing over her death like that really isn't good for you, and certainly not when you've been up for two days."
"You can drop the sarcasm, Helen."
Helen seemed genuinely confused. "What?"
"You can say it, Helen! I know my life doesn't have meaning anymore!"
"That's... not what I said, not even close. I don't understand what you're talking about."
"You don't understand the pain I'm going through, Helen! You never have! Whitney and I were soulmates. It hurts when someone you love dies. No one can ever truly know how that feels, not even you..."
"Bitsy, this is ridiculous. I miss Whitney, too. She was the closest thing I ever had to a mother-in-law. I know you're suffering, but this isn't normal."
"Oh, that's real mature, Helen! Just act like everything's funny! It's a big joke to you, isn't it?! Just a big joke! Get out! Why don't you, oh I don't know, go take Shampagne for a walk or something?"
Helen just sighed and left. Soon, Bitsy was left alone with her thoughts.
She wanted to die. She wanted to die so badly, mostly because there was a chance (not a good one, but a chance nonetheless) that she could be reunited with Whitney in... what was it called? Sheol? Didn't matter. On the other hand, she still really wanted Central Park gone. Couldn't really get rid of Central Park if she were dead now, could she? Death wasn't exactly something that scared her the way it scared other people. It was more or less an inconvenience due to the amount of irrational sentiment it brought, but only when it came to her alone. Not so much for everyone else. She probably needed to sleep at some point, but she had to ask herself why. Why did she need to sleep? What was the point of wasting time on investing in something like sleeping? Death would be coming for her soon, just like it came for everyone.
Before her thoughts could spiral out again, she slumped over her desk, sleep having overcome her. That would probably put an end to it for now.