"Wow, I gotta say, Maruo really found a nice place." Isanari Uesugi said.
And indeed, the apartment was spacious and well-furnished, with five separate bedrooms, a kitchen and dining room, and a living room with seating for at least six people, with a projector whose provenance was still unknown to all of the apartment's residents.
Isanari was currently sitting at the head of the dining table, with his daughter Raiha sitting at the far end from him. The five Nakano sisters were sitting along one side.
"It's not bad." Ichika said noncommittally.
"And y'know, it's been a long time since I've traveled abroad, and I've never been here in Austria before." Isanari continued.
"Salzburg is nice." Miku said flatly, not even bothering to look up from her cell phone.
Isanari took a deep breath before continuing, "So, now I'm going to blow the whole city up."
That comment drew the girls' attention, as he was hoping it would.
"Okay, wait, are you seriously going to do that?" Itsuki asked. "Because for everything we've been through this year, that isn't out of the question."
"Nah, just trying to get your attention." He said. "So what's got you lot so distracted?"
"Well, uh, actually… It's your son." Ichika said.
Isanari and Raiha exchanged a worried look. "What's going on with Futaro?"
"Well, first of all… I'm sure you heard about Futaro and Miku, right?"
Isanari nodded. Miku was typing out a text message, and Isanari suspected he knew who it was for.
"Just between us, I'm happy to hear that Futaro is branching out." Isanari said. "That kid needed to learn that there's more to life than textbooks. And Miku seems like a nice girl."
"She really is." Ichika said.
"...I tried to take over the world with an army of demons." Miku said quietly.
"Miku, don't." Ichika said gently. "That wasn't really you."
"And really, you only summoned a few hundred." Itsuki added. "That is not an army. That is a company or two, at most."
"Eh," Isanari said, waving his hand as if to drive off some unpleasant odor, "You're hardly the first teenager to go through some crazy phase. I bet your old man hasn't told you all about half the insane stuff we got into back in high school."
"Would you believe," Ichika asked quietly, "That Miku wasn't the only girl who had feelings for Futaro?"
"Honestly, I would be surprised." Isanari said. "That boy's got a big heart, but he doesn't seem to want anybody to know that." He looked at Ichika. "And you're saying he was in the middle of a love triangle?"
"Well, no, actually." Ichika said. "It was a lot bigger than a triangle. I was- I am, still- in love with Futaro. And so is Nino. And Yotsuba, though none of us knew that until a few weeks ago."
"So, is that-"
"Itsuki is the only one of us who wasn't in love with him, unless you count that time she got so excited over some pizzas she told him she was in love." Ichika continued
"Then I take it that's-"
"Hehe, yeah, pizzas." Itsuki said awkwardly. "Definitely not any of my real feelings in there."
"I was rooting for you, Itsuki." Raiha whispered to her.
Miku, for the first time that evening, had completely forgotten her phone.
"And I'm not mad at Miku, or at Futaro for what happened." Ichika said. "I'm happy for them, I really am, and I hope it works out. But Futaro's become somebody important to all of us, and now our relationships with him have all changed. I can't be together with him they way I want to, but I won't settle for just being his girlfriend's sister either."
"He is remarkably reluctant to even recognize us as friends. Or at least, he's reluctant to say we are." Itsuki added.
Isanari nodded, his face looking thoughtful. "That does sound like quite a predicament. Is that why Yotsuba is drunk off her ass right now?"
Itsuki frowned. "Yotsuba isn't drunk at all."
Isanari pointed to the girl with a bob cut wearing a single blue ribbon in her hair. Her cheeks were red, and she seemed to have trouble sitting up straight in her chair.
"Tonight," the girl with the blue ribbon slurred, "I'm going to find the Alder King and-" she cut herself off with a loud hiccup- "and punch him riiiiiiight in the dick."
"That girl's four sheets to wind." Isanari said.
"The saying is 'three sheets to the wind'." Miku corrected.
"She's way past three sheets." Isanari said.
"That's Nino, not Yotsuba." Ichika said. "That one's Yotsuba." She pointed to the girl with a bob cut and a green hair ribbon.
"Hey there, Uesugi!" Yotsuba said.
"Does she do that with everybody named Uesugi?" Isanari asked.
"Just the guys." Itsuki said.
"So, is she still, uh-"
"Hey, Raiha, do you want to do something fun tonight?" Yotsuba asked.
"What are you suggesting?" Raiha asked cautiously.
"Well," Yotsuba said, "I was thinking that the two of us could show mankind their hubris by reducing all that they had built to dust."
Yotsuba had a big grin on her face. She was the only one at the table who did.
"She's still possessed, yes." Ichika said.
"The good news is, we're down to only 186 demons." Itsuki added.
"Last week, she only started one fire." Ichika said.
"You say that like it's a good thing." Isanari said.
"It's fewer fires than usual." Miku said.
"Well, I guess that's-" Isanari blinked, as he realized that he'd let himself get distracted. "Why is Nino drunk right now? And- and I can't believe that I am the one saying this, but aren't you girls too young to be drinking?"
"The legal age for alcohol consumption in Austria is actually sixteen, so we aren't breaking any laws." Itsuki said.
"We're trying not to break any more laws." Miku said. "We were lucky that Nino got off for hijacking that train."
"That, was a victimless crime." Nino protested.
"I guess it's good that you are technically following the law, but you shouldn't be drinking that much. And the rest of you shouldn't have let her drink that much." Isanari said.
Raiha shook her head. "I'm disappointed in you all."
"There's a reason *hic* I had so much wine tonight." Nino said.
The rest of her sisters suddenly tensed, as if somebody had just tossed a lit stick of dynamite through their window.
"And that's because frickin' Futaro's been avoiding me."
Isanari was too distracted to notice the rest of the sisters relaxing.
"What do you mean?" Isanari asked.
"We haven't seen him in a week." Nino said. "He isn't taking calls. He isn't at school. We tried going to his apartment, but he wouldn't even open the door. The one person who's had any contact with him is this one." She jerked her thumb towards Miku.
"We've been texting. Futaro says he's been sick." Miku said weakly. "Hasn't he said anything to you?"
Isanari shook his head.
Miku frowned. "Haven't you visited him yet?"
"We just got into town. Your apartment is closer to the airport than his, and I promised your old man I'd check in on you." Isanari said.
"Raiha?" Itsuki asked.
Raiha shook her head. "Futaro hasn't said anything to me."
Isanari stood up. "You five are coming with us. We're going to pay him a visit."
Where are you, Futaro? Miku texted.
I'm at my apartment. Futaro texted back. Why are you asking?
Because we're at your apartment. Right now. Miku texted.
Sorry, but I can't let you in. I'm still sick. Really sick. Futaro replied.
Actually, maybe I should say that we're in your apartment right now.
It took a moment for her to get the response of How did you get in? Did you use the spare key?
Miku looked over at the hole in the wall where Futaro's front door had once been, the result of Raiha's breaching charge.
We really should have thought of that, actually.
Did you blow up my door? Futaro asked.
Raiha did it. Miku sent back.
I'm going to give her a piece of my mind when I see her again.
A smile tugged at Miku's lips despite the situation. We both know you're not really going to. You can never stay mad at her.
After a moment, she got a reply of ...I kind of hate that you're right.
So are you going to tell me where you really are? And what's really going on? You remember what tonight is, right? Miku asked.
That was tonight? And a moment later, Please tell me you all came up with a better plan than giving Nino a bunch of wine and hoping she could learn magic on the fly.
Miku spent long enough trying to figure out what to say that Futaro replied first. You didn't, did you?
We didn't, she replied.
You girls can actually be pretty clever at times. This isn't one of them.
Do you have any ideas for how to fight the Alder King? She asked.
No. And then, I've got no clue either.
"What's this about the Alder King?" came a voice from behind Miku. She nearly jumped through the roof in surprise.
"I-isanari!" Miku said, turning to confront the man. "Were you looking over my shoulder that whole time?" she said indignantly.
"Yeah, I was. So who's the Alder King, and why are you all going to fight him?" Isanari asked, his face somewhere between angry and concerned.
"It's just a boss from a video game." Miku said flatly. "It's not a big deal."
"Nino," Isanari said without looking away from Miku, "Is your sister lying?"
"Through her damn teeth!" Nino said. "Tonight, I'm going to fight the king of the elves!"
"Why are you going to fight the king of the elves?" Isanari asked.
"Because he's going to come abduct my sister tonight." Nino said.
Isanari glanced from one of the girls to another. "What the hell have you girls gotten yourselves into? Which one of you pissed off the Alder King?"
Nino shook her head. "Not those sisters."
"I'm sorry," Isanari said, "But do you have any other sisters?"
"Yep."
"Nino, stop talking already." Ichika said.
"Yotsuba, what are you doing?" Itsuki asked.
Yotsuba had removed her shoes, removed her socks, and was currently wadding her socks up into a ball. "Getting payback."
"I got a few dozen other sisters." Nino took her phone out of her pocket, pulled up a picture, and showed it to Isanari. "Check it out!"
Isanari looked at the picture. It was the five Nakano sisters, plus another five girls who looked exactly like them.
"Okay, so, what you're saying is that… either you girls are actually dectuplets, or there's a factory somewhere that keeps churning you girls out." Isanari said.
"That's completely absurd." Itsuki said. "Five is about as many parts as you can split a single zygote into and still be viable."
"Do you know about our biological father?" Miku asked.
"He walked out on your mom." Isanari said, before spitting out an additional "Jackass."
"Well, our mother wasn't the last wife he walked out on." Miku said. "After he left mom, he moved to Austria, found a new wife, and then-"
"Wait, don't tell me your dad somehow managed to father two sets of identical quintuplets?" Isanari said in disbelief. "Isn't doing that once a ridiculously small chance?"
"Actually, he's fathered about a dozen sets of identical quintuplets." Miku said bluntly.
Isanari turned to Itsuki. "Is… is she telling the truth? Is this for real? This isn't just her having a weird sense of humor?"
"Nah," Nino cut in. "Miku doesn't have much of a sense of humor."
"We do, in fact, have numerous half-sisters." Itsuki added.
"So whatever happened to that old bastard?" Isanari asked.
"He lives in Berlin now, with a new wife he's going to keep very happy." Miku said matter-of-factly. "He's even started sending me weekly emails about how they're doing."
"Why? More importantly, do you even want him to email you?" Isanari asked.
Miku gave a smile that came nowhere near her eyes. "He keeps in touch with me because he knows what's good for him."
"Okay, well, I wasn't expecting you to be the scary one." Isanari said.
"I know, right?" Yotsuba said. "It's like a manga where the heroine spends the whole series being shy and nice, and then you get to the movie and she rips a guy's eyes out!"
Isanari felt that was a hypocritical statement, as Yotsuba was saying it while gagging Nino with her wadded-up socks, but he felt the conversation had already gone too far afield.
"Back to the main point: What do your half-sisters have to do with the Alder King?" he asked.
"Well, see, it turns out that Miku wasn't the only member of our extended family to get mixed up with a supernatural being due to a hike going wrong." Ichika said. "Vera-" she pointed to the girl in the picture who was wearing a blue hair ribbon "She accidentally got herself engaged to the Alder King."
"And he's going to be coming for her tonight." Itsuki added.
"And you five intend to stop him." Isanari said. "Well, I must say that I commend your dedication to family… but how in the hell does getting Nino drunk accomplish that?"
"Did Uesugi- sorry, did Futaro ever tell you about the time Nino hijacked a train and drove it to America?" Itsuki asked.
Isanari nodded. "Kinda hard not to talk about that one. He said it sent him into an existential crisis."
"Well, I believe that Nino was able to do that because she actually possesses powerful magic, but for some reason she can only use it when she's in an altered state of consciousness." Itsuki said.
"Itsuki," Reiha asked, "Are you feeling okay?"
Itsuki actually wished the girl had been trying to be snide; she sounded genuinely worried.
"I-I'm fine, Reiha. There's no need to worry."
"So, let me guess; your plan was to get Nino drunk so she could use magic to drive off the Alder King?" Isanari asked dryly.
"Exactly!" Itsuki said.
"Has she done any magic yet?" Isanari said. He looked at Nino, who had just managed to get the socks out of her mouth.
"Er… well… that is…" Itsuki stammered.
"What's your Plan B?" Isanari asked.
"At this point, our plan is to hope the Alder King is a wimp." Miku said.
Isanari sighed. "I feel for you girls, I really do, but your dad would skin me alive if I didn't at least try to stop you all from getting into a fight with a supernatural being you don't know anything about."
"Why am I worried that's not hyperbole?" Ichika asked.
"We need to look for Futaro." Miku said. "Something is going on with him."
"And lemme guess," Nino said, "You're worried that 'something' is that he found an Austrian girl with bigger tits, right?"
"Well, Nino," Ichika put her arms under her own chest, as if to say Bigger than these? Really? "She's probably worried that Futaro found an Austrian girl who's a better cook."
"S-shut up!" Miku said, trying not to cry.
"I think Miku is right." Itsuki said. "I want to look for Uesugi, too."
Ichika let out a sigh, and allowed the worry to show on her face. "Something is up with him, but we don't know if he's actually in danger or anything. We do know that the Alder King is coming for Vera tonight. I think that she should be our priority."
"You know, there's five of you guys." Reiha said.
"...What do you mean?" Ichika asked.
"I mean, you guys don't all have to do the same thing at once. You can split up."
"Well, it's not like we were all going to do the same thing tonight, anyways." Itsuki said. She cast her gaze towards Yotsuba.
"W-what?" Yotsuba said.
"You had an appointment with the sisters tonight, right? To see if they can get some of the demons out?" Itsuki said.
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Yotsuba," Miku said, "You shouldn't skip appointments. The more you keep, the sooner you'll be demon-free."
"And don't worry about missing anything tonight." Nino said. "You'd just be a liability, anyways."
"I would not!" Yotsuba protested.
"Yotsuba," Ichika said, "you're currently trying to set the building we're in on fire."
Yotsuba was about to protest until she noticed that she had an unlit Molotov cocktail in one hand and a lighter in the other.
"A- ahehe, ahaha, uhh…" She hung her head. "You win this round."
"So, Yotsuba is going to visit the nuns, Nino and I will go deal with the Alder King-"
"And I'm going to look for Futaro." Miku said.
"As will I." Itsuki said.
"Me too!" Reiha chimed in.
"No, you're not." Isanari said. "I've already got one kid missing, and I don't need another. You're going to go back to our hotel until I get back, understand?"
"Back from where?" Reiha asked.
"I'm going to look for Futaro, too." Isanari said. "I can't leave his well-being up to these two, and he might a chewing out when I find him."
Miku shook her head. "You should go with Yotsuba."
Isanari glared. "Why should I?"
"Because we can't leave Yotsuba unattended, and you're probably the only person here who's stronger than her."
Isanari glanced over at Yotsuba, who hadn't actually put down her Molotov or lighter.
"You two better make sure my son is safe." Isanari said.
"I swear to you, if anything happens to Futaro, then our lives are forfeit." Miku said grimly.
"Could we talk about this a little more before you say that!?" Itsuki said.
The seven of them split up to go to their separate tasks.
"So, Miku," Itsuki said.
"That's still my name." Miku said without looking up from her phone.
"Why do I suspect you had ulterior motives to sending Mr. Uesugi elsewhere?" Itsuki asked.
"Because I did." Miku held out the phone to her sister, showing a map of the surrounding area. There was a marker located in the city's greenbelt.
"Wait, is this-"
"Futaro never found out about the tracking chip Ichika had implanted in him." Miku explained. "And I didn't want to let Isanari know about it."
"What's he doing out in the woods?" Itsuki asked. "It's getting dark."
"That's what we're going to figure out." Miku said.
The silence felt awkward, and Isanari was willing to do just about anything to break it. What do kids talk about these days?
"So… uh… anime?" he tried.
Yotsuba's eyes lit up. "Ooh, did you hear they just announced an adaptation of I Can't Live Out My Isekai Slave Fantasies Because John Brown Reincarnated In The Other WorldWith Me?"
Historical Salzburg was a beautiful district, with buildings dating back centuries. For a man like Isanari, who had rarely had the opportunity to travel outside of Japan since his youth, it was almost like being on a different planet. And yet, all he could do was stare at Yotsuba as if she'd just grown a second head.
"...It's better than it sounds." Yotsuba said weakly.
Ichika was once again glad she'd picked up jogging as a habit. She was walking at a brisk pace, with Nino struggling to keep up, even as she punched a number into her phone. The phone barely got to its second ring before the other end answered.
"Hello? Ichika?" came a voice that sounded identical to Ichika's own.
"Heinrike, hey. How's it going?" Ichika said.
"I'm Reinhilde." the voice on the other end said.
Huh, so this is what this feels like, Ichika thought to herself. She made a note to herself to be more patient the next time somebody mixed up her with one of her sisters.
"Reinie, how are you all doing?" Ichika asked.
"We're holed up in our apartment. We've barricaded the door, and everybody's armed."
"What have you got?" Ichika asked, sounding conversational. "I've found that a hurlie can make a surprisingly good-"
"I've got a blunderbuss."
"Huh?"
"It's a type of firearm commonly used in the early modern era-"
"I guess Miku has taught you how to embrace your inner history nerd, Huh? It's good that- Hey! Wait! You have guns!?" Ichika yelled.
"He's coming for my sister, Ichika. What would you do in my situation?" Reinhilde asked.
That question stopped Ichika in her tracks. Literally, as well as figuratively.
"I would do whatever it took." Ichika said severely. "Just… make sure do don't get yourselves arrested when this is all over, okay?"
"All of these guns are legally owned." Reinhilde reassured her.
"...Are they legally owned by you?" Ichika asked.
"We won't have to use them if you guys can pull off your part of the plan."
"True…" Ichika said. "So how's Vera holding up?"
"She's all laughter and smiles, talking about what she's going to do with us tomorrow and the day after."
"So, she's terrified and putting up a front?" Ichika asked.
"Yep." Reinhilde said. "But at least she knows that all of her big sisters are looking out for her. And Itsuki." It took a moment before she added, "Our Itsuki."
Why an Austrian woman had given four of her daughters German names and then named the fifth "Itsuki" was a question that confounded everybody, including Itsuki Meidl herself. The fact that Mrs. Meidl was no longer with them meant they would never have an answer.
"Well, see, I'm afraid that some of my sisters are… off taking care of something." Ichika said.
"What else could they be doing tonight?" Reinhilde asked. "This is kind of important."
"It's not like they aren't worried about Vera!" Ichika protested. "It's just… look, we've got other problems. Futaro's missing."
It was a long while before Reinhilde responded. "Is something wrong with him?" Her normally stoic voice had a note of concern.
"We don't know, and he's not telling us. I don't suppose you've seen him for the last week?" the Meidls were a grade younger than Ichika and her sisters, but Futaro still found time on occasion to help them with their studies.
"No, none of us have. You don't think he's-"
"He's alive! He's alive." Ichika reassured. "We just aren't sure where he is."
"Well, I can't blame you for wanting to look for him." Reinhilde said. "Please make sure he's safe. He's very important to m- to Vera! Vera really likes him!"
It was an evening in late October, but the chill Ichika felt had nothing to do with the weather. "Reinie, please tell me that Vera isn't in love with Futaro."
Reinhilde demurred from answering.
This cannot be happening. This. Can Not. Be. Happening, Ichika thought to herself.
"That… might not be good…" Was what Ichika actually said.
"Falling for you sister's boyfriend… That's…" There was something off about Rinhilde's voice, and Ichika thought she knew what it was.
Why? Why!? Are ALL of us going to fall for Futaro? … Okay, I can't exactly blame them, but still…
"Love can be painful, sometimes." Ichika said.
"Mm-hmm. Good luck, Ichika." Reinhilde said.
"Good luck to you, too." Ichika said before ending the call. She let out a sigh. "Oh, Futaro, how many girls' hearts are you going to break?" She wasn't sure whether she felt more sorry for herself, her half-sisters, or for Futaro.
"Heeeeey!" Nino said as she threw her arm around her sister, "Why the long face?"
Ichika yelped at the sudden contact, and jerked away from Nino as hard as she could.
"Well, that was rude!" Nino slurred.
"Sorry, Nino, but… it's just… I still remember that time you tried to make out with me? And that was when you were sober, so…"
"Hey! That was a strictly platonic make-out I proposed!"
"That isn't a thing, Nino."
"I just wanted to practice for Futaro." Nino slowly tilted her head up, her gaze seemingly taken by the moon. "If we had practiced, maybe I could have kissed Futaro back when we were at Grandpa's inn. And if I'd done that, maybe I'd be the one with Futaro right now."
Ichika stopped and stared at her sister.
"Do you ever think about that? That maybe, if you'd've done something different, you could have been the one with Futaro?" Nino asked.
"I do. I've thought about that a lot over the last few weeks." Ichika said. "It's not easy to let go, is it?"
"No, it isn't." Nino said somberly.
"But what can we do about it now?" Ichika asked. Whatever had happened, she was still Nino's big sister.
"We could move to Indonesia." Nino suggested. Her tone sounded serious.
"Huh?" Ichika asked. "Why Indonesia?"
"Because polygamy is legal there."
"Do you really think Miku would be happy with that?" Ichika asked quietly.
Nino didn't answer.
"Do you think I'd be happy with that? Or Futaro? Or you, for that matter?"
Nino took off, and it was Ichika's turn to hurry after her. "Hey, wait! What are you doing?"
"I'm going to find the Alder King!" Nino said. "I need something to punch."
As hard as she tried to sound angry, Ichika could see the tears starting to run down her face.
Miku was in better shape than she had been months ago, but she still had her limits, and the impromptu hike she and Itsuki were on was pushing them. It didn't help that the two of them had long since left any trail and were now bushwhacking in the dark, with their cell phones being the only source of light they had. She ended up begging Itsuki to take a break, and the two of them found a seat on a pair of rocks.
"How far away is Uesugi?" Itsuki asked.
"We're getting pretty close." Miku said.
"He seems to be pretty far from town, and I have never known him to be an outdoorsman." Itsuki said, concern creeping into her voice. "If he is out here, then what if… what if he is-"
"Calm down." Miku said. "I've been checking on his position a lot. He's been moving around."
"So-"
"He's alive." Miku said calmly.
Itsuki let out a sigh of relief.
"It's hard, isn't it?" Miku asked.
Itsuki frowned in confusion. "What do you mean? What is hard?"
"Being separated from the one you love."
"What are you saying?" Itsuki asked quietly.
"How do you feel about about Futaro?" Miku asked.
"Wha-what? What!? Why are you asking me that?"
Miku looked down, and slowly drew in a breath. "You know, when I went to Futaro that day in Berlin, I never thought he would say that he loved me back."
Itsuki stared at her sister, shocked.
"I wanted to tell him to get closure for my feelings." Miku went on.
"Why were you so certain he did not like you?" Itsuki said.
"Because I thought he was in love with Yotsuba."
"So, then, do you think-" Itsuki lost her train of thought as something came crashing through the woods. Both girls sprang to their feet and trained their lights on it.
"Is that-"
"That appears to be a feral hog." Itsuki whispered.
"Should we be worried?" Miku asked, following her sister's example and also whispering.
"Probably not. It's likely it won't want to be around humans-"
The hog started making its way toward them.
"And what if it doesn't?" Miku asked.
"Then there might be something wrong with it." Itsuki whispered.
"How wrong? Is it rabid?" Miku asked.
"...Maybe?" Itsuki said weakly.
"How dangerous would a rabid hog be?" Miku was straining to keep her voice under control.
"It could inflict dangerous injuries as well as spreading a deadly disease."
"So, bad."
Itsuki gulped. "Very bad."
It was then that a second, much larger shape came barreling into the clearing. It lashed out with one large limb, striking the hog and sending it flying. The hog crashed into a tree and fell to the ground. It never rose again.
Itsuki bit her tongue to keep from screaming and put a hand over Miku's mouth. The two of them were now standing in front of a bear.
Ichika and Nino were standing on the bank of a pond at the Salzburg Volksgarten. There were surprisingly few people out that night. It should have been a quiet, peaceful scene. Instead, Ichika felt as tense as she had the night she'd realized that Miku had been brainwashed by a demon.
"So, ah… are you ready?" Ichika asked, trying to sound casual. "This is supposed to be the place."
"Brrrring it on!" Nino slurred.
.
"I'm sure this is going to go great." Is what Ichika said aloud.
If there's a god out there, I hope he has mercy on us, Is what Ichika actually thought.
"Good evening." said a pleasant male voice. Ichika looked behind her to see a seemingly young man. He was good-looking, with fine features that could almost be called pretty. His long, black hair was slicked backwards. His outfit- which included a cape, a button-down shirt that looked to be made of actual silk with a cravat at his neck, long pants and boots of a style that may have been in vogue several centuries ago, and a circlet around his head – made him look like a character out of a fantasy story. Or somebody cosplaying such a character.
"You're not a cosplayer, are you?" Nino asked.
"No. I am the Alder King, sovereign of the elves." The man said, with all the gravity of saying his name was Steve rather than Bob.
"Oh, you are. That's great." Ichika said. Her usual skill with acting was not on display at the moment. "You must be here to pick up your fiancee, right?"
The Alder King nodded. "That I am."
"Well, here she is!" Ichika said, gesturing to Nino. "Don't you want to come embrace your bride-to-be?"
"C'mere!" Nino added.
"That's not Vera." The Alder King said.
"What!?" Ichika yelled.
"I would ask you two if you've seen her, but it's obvious that neither of you know what she looks like."
"That is so Vera!" Ichika yelled. "Can't you recognize your own fiancee?"
"You," The Alder King said while pointing to Nino, "Are you Vera Meidl?"
"Nope!" Nino said cheerily.
"Nino, why did you do that?" Ichika wailed, half-despairing, half angry.
"'Cuz I'm drunk, remember?" Nino asked.
"Right, well then, I'm off." The Alder King said. "You two have a good night."
"Oh no, you don't!" Ichika yelled. "Nino, stop him!"
"A'ight! MAAAAGIC BLAST!" Nino said, punctuating her words with a hand gesture that seemed magical to her. Unfortunately, it did not yield any actual magic.
Nino's second and third attempts produced no better results, despite being even louder and more ostentatious. The Alder King had stopped walking to stare at her, which Ichika supposed technically helped a little.
"You do know that that girl doesn't possess any magic, right?" he asked while looking at Ichika.
"I… hadn't known that, actually." Ichika said. "But, whatever! We're not going to let you take our half-sister! Magic or no magic, we're going to-"
The Alder King didn't even move towards them. He just shot Ichika a harsh look. The next thing Ichika knew, she was in the pond. Nino splashed in right after her. By the time the two of them had dragged themselves to the bank, the Alder King was already gone.
"Welp, that sucked." Nino said.
"Yeah, definitely." Ichika said. "I hope things are going better for the others."
Things were not going great for Miku and Itsuki.
"So, the good news is, I've figured out what kind of bear that is." Itsuki whispered. She had her hand wrapped tightly around Miku 's wrist.
"And it is?" Miku asked unenthusiastically. She didn't see how knowing the bear's species would help.
"Ursus arctis horriblis."
"That… doesn't sound good." Miku said.
"That's one of the largest species of bears." Itsuki said. "Though I'm not sure what it's doing on this continent."
Miku looked at the bear-
"Don't make eye contact." Itsuki said. "You'll make it angry."
Miku looked in the general direction of the bear. After its initial attack, it had gone over to make sure that the hog was dead. Then it had turned toward them and begun staring. It wasn't making a move towards them, nor was it showing any overt signs of hostility, but it wasn't reassuring to have such a large animal looking at her.
"Okay, here's what we're going to do," Itsuki said, "First, we'll slowly raise our arms over our heads-"
The bear suddenly turned and started walking away.
"Huh. That was easier than I thought." Itsuki said. "Alright, if the bear's going that way, then we need to-"
But Miku wasn't paying attention to her sister. The elder sister had already pulled out her phone. She looked at the screen, furrowed her brow, and then looked at the bear. Then she looked back at her phone, then the bear again.
"Miku?" Itsuki asked, making sure to keep her voice at a whisper. "What's going on-"
Miku suddenly took off at a run, right after the bear.
"Miku!? Stop!" Itsuki forgot all about whispering. "What are you doing?"
Itsuki was so distracted by her sister that she didn't notice that the bear hadn't respond to the commotion.
Miku circled around the bear and came at it head on. Itsuki's blood ran cold.
The bear stopped dead in its tracks.
Itsuki watched, horror turning to confusion as Miku advanced on the bear, eventually getting close enough to put her hand on the bear's head.
"To answer your question," Miku said, "I'm giving him a pat on the head. He's earned it."
"What" Itsuki said.
"Thank you for protecting us from the boar." Miku said to the bear.
Itsuki, lacking any other outlet for her anger, smacked her palm into her forehead. "Miku, that's a dangerous. Wild. Animal. It is not your friend."
"Yes he is." Miku replied.
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, first of all, he hasn't attacked me." Miku said. "But more importantly," She held up her phone, displaying the tracking app again. The point showing Futaro was right on top of her location.
"The signal is coming from here?" Itsuki said in confusion.
"Itsuki," Miku said, "This bear? He is Futaro."
"Okay, Miku?" Itsuki said. "I know you've always been a bit…" she cast around for a word that wouldn't provoke an argument before settling on "...Eccentric. But to think that Futaro became a bear? To run up and start petting said bear? I have to wonder if you've seriously gone-"
The bear suddenly opened its mouth and let out what sounded like a wet cough. Something fell out of its throat and clattered to the ground. Itsuki, startled, let out a yelp and tried taking a step backwards. Trying to do so on uneven terrain in the dark let to her stumbling and falling on her butt. She hoped she hadn't looked foolish, though she knew such hope was in vain.
Miku looked down at the item the bear had spat out. It was a cell phone, so scratched and battered that she was surprised when the screen still lit up. It was honestly more surprising than seeing the bear press on the screen with one claw. The creature poked at the screen for several minutes.
Miku's and Itsuki's phones chimed in unison. They looked to see that they had both received a new message.
I guess you figured me out.
The message was from Futaro.
Itsuki told herself that she needed to stay calm and assess the situation, and that screaming 'What the actual fuck!?' would not help.
"Okay, Round two! Let's do this!" Nino yelled, balling her hands into fists and raising them in what she thought was a pugilist's stance. Ichika wanted to tell Nino that a proper fist meant not having her thumb in the middle of her fingers, but she didn't want to make them look any more incompetent after their failure at the Volksgarten.
She and Nino were soaked and exhausted from running to catch up to the Alder King. They had managed to find him walking down a street, seemingly in no hurry to get anywhere. The two of them were feeling the chill of the night from their wet clothing.
The Alder King seemed to regard them with vague confusion. "Are you two going to try fighting again?"
"That is our plan, yes." Ichika yelled. She sounded far more enthusiastic than she was feeling. A few people had stopped to stare at them, which wasn't helping either.
"You do know that mortals can die if they get too cold, correct?" The Alder King asked. "And then some extremely rude poet might blame me for it. Again."
"Then we're just gonna have to kick your ass in a hurry!" Nino yelled.
"Besides, it's your fault we're sopping wet!" Ichika added. "You were the one who threw us in the pond!"
The Alder King put his hand to his chin and seemed to contemplate. "Hmm, you do have a point. Allow me to make that up to you." He snapped his fingers.
The city, the crowd, the sky, and the Alder King himself all disappeared. Ichika found herself in some dark space. The abrupt, unexpected change left Ichika so disoriented that it took her far longer than it should have to realize that the space she now found herself in was her own apartment, currently with no lights on.
"Did-did he just teleport us?" Ichika asked in disbelief.
"How did he know where we live?" Nino asked.
"That doesn't matter! We need to go find him again!" Ichika said, before adding "After we change clothes."
He wasn't wrong about hypothermia.
"Okay, so… Uesugi… is a bear right now…" Itsuki said.
"We've established that." Miku yelled. She continued to rest her hand on his head. If he minded, he didn't give any indication.
You can come closer. I'm not going to bite, Futaro texted.
Itsuki did, indeed, move closer. Forty-nine feet was closer than fifty, after all.
"Maybe you could move close enough that we don't have to yell?" Miku asked.
"Why? Why is this happening? Why is Uesugi a bear?" Itsuki yelled indignantly.
Miku looked at Futaro, silently echoing her sister's question.
Come over here and I'll tell you.
Itsuki took a few hesitant steps forward. Fear warred with curiosity in her head. She'd seen enough nature documentaries to know what a bear was capable of, and the absurdity of the situation made it hard for her to internalize that the bear was truly no threat. She'd made only the scantest progress when she received another text message, this one from Miku.
He's probably been alone all week.
A third emotion entered Itsuki's head, brushing the previous two aside; concern. She made her way to Futaro, this time with confidence.
...Well, with more confidence than she had before.
"Uesugi." Itsuki said, disregarding her own advice from a moment before to never look a bear in the eyes. "What happened?"
Witch was his laconic response.
Itsuki look from her phone to him and back.
What?
"Was that comment directed at me?" Itsuki asked indignantly.
A witch turned me into a bear, Futaro texted.
"Why did she do that?" Miku asked.
He.
"What?" Miku asked.
Despite the stereotypes, there are actually many men who become witches.
"Why did the witch turn you into a bear, Uesugi?" Itsuki asked. "Did you bump into him at the grocery store?"
Not even that much, Futaro texted. He just ran up to me as I was leaving my apartment.
"I'll have to find out where this witch lives." Itsuki said darkly.
"In the mean time," Miku said, "We should probably see if we can turn him back to normal."
"How?" Itsuki asked.
Miku put her hands around Futaro's head, knelt down, and pressed her lips against the end of his snout. Nothing happened.
"I-I really thought that might work!" Miku said, thankful that it was too dark for the others to see the blush on her cheeks.
"Well, I admire your devotion." Itsuki said diplomatically. "And I am sure that Uesugi does as well."
I was hoping that would work, honestly.
"Was there anything else?" Itsuki asked. "Is this one of those curses where you have to solve a riddle or complete some impossible-sounding task?"
He didn't give me any. He just ran up, cursed me, and ran away.
"That is strange…" Itsuki said, rubbing her chin. She didn't have much time to ponder the matter, however, a she got another text.
WEFHgjWGJwgjIOGHOIEGJOIgjerioqjiojgaeipjqiopjeq?
"What does that mean?" Itsuki asked.
"It's from Nino." Miku noted.
"...that would explain that, yes." Itsuki said.
Huh? Did something happen to Nino in the last week? Futaro asked.
"She's just drunk right now." Itsuki said. She didn't notice the way Miku tensed up.
The received another text; Things not going well with Alder King. How are you? Is Futaro okay? It was from Ichika.
Why is Nino drunk?Futaro sent.
We found Uesugi, Itsuki texted.
Futaro's okay, except that he's a bear right now. Miku added.
It was several minutes before they got a response, and it wasn't the response they were expecting.
Is he a big bear?
I think he is, Miku texted.
A few hundred pounds, easily, from Itsuki.
Why the hell are you asking that!? From Futaro.
Futaro, Ichika texted back, I'm sorry to trouble you right now, but would you mind helping us fight the Alder King? We're having a little trouble, and I think you're stronger than us right now.
Miku furrowed her brow. "That could get dangerous."
Itsuki tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Ichika does have a point, though. The grizzly bear is one of the largest land predators on earth. They can run faster than a horse, and-" She continued on, excitedly recalling several nature documentaries' worth of information.
"I'm sorry," Miku said to Futaro, "She gets like this sometimes. I don't think she's thinking about your situation right now."
It's okay, Futaro texted, careful to only send this one to Miku. I don't see this side of her often. It's actually pretty cute.
The space around Miku seemed to grow darker, though Futaro was quick to assure himself that this must be a trick of the light. Miku's cheeks puffed up in an angry pout.
I didn't think that through, Futaro texted.
"...So then, Uesugi," Itsuki said, looking at him hopefully, "would you be willing to help us?"
Do you just want to see me maul something?
"Th-that is only a bonus!" Itsuki said.
I'm joking.
"I am surprised that you can."
We're going after the Alder King. Hop on.
"H-hop on!?" Itsuki said, though Miku was already climbing onto Futaro's back.
"You did say that a bear can outrun a horse, didn't you?" Miku asked. "This'll be faster than trying to hike back to town."
Itsuki sighed before climbing onto the bear.
The good news was, Isanari had thus far ensured that there were no fires. The bad news was that it sometimes took a long time to do so; Isanari and Yotsuba were still walking.
"So, they just announced that they're doing an anime for The Psychotic Psextuplets." Yotsuba said.
"Really?" Isanari asked. In spite of himself, he had started getting into the conversation. "You don't sound very excited about it."
"Well, they had to make a lot of compromises for the anime. In the manga, they make a big deal about all of the sisters sounding exactly the same."
"The way you and your sisters do?" Isanari asked.
"Exactly! But in the anime, every girl is voiced by somebody different." Yotsuba said. "They also gave all of the sisters different eye colors, so it's easier to tell them all apart."
"Is that really that big of a problem, though?" Isanari asked. "It doesn't sound like enough to make the show bad."
"I guess not, but… I think I envy the sisters on the show. I wish there was an easy way to tell me and my sisters apart." Yotsuba said, running a glum hand through her pink hair.
"Are you two going to try fighting me again?" The Alder King asked. He wasn't even angry; he looked like he was taking a casual stroll down the street.
"Do ya have to sound so casual about it?" Nino asked.
"Well, it's not like we're really doing much." Ichika said.
"Is this how Austrians celebrate weddings now? By repeatedly starting fights with the groom?" The Alder King asked.
"Well… I'm not actually sure." Ichika said. "But we're Japanese, not Austrian."
"Hmm, that does explain why you two keep speaking Japanese." the Alder King said.
"Why do you speak Japanese, anyways?" Nino asked. "You don't look very Japanese to me."
"I've learned a number of mortal languages." the Alder King said. "It's not as if we speak German back in Elpland. And Japanese happens to be one of the languages that my fiancee speaks."
The three of them walked in silence for a moment, the peace only broken by Nino throwing a punch aimed at the Alder King's crotch. She did not come particularly close to hitting.
"So… You can tell who has magic just from looking at them?" Ichika asked conversationally. "What other information can you tell from looking at someone?"
"Well," the Alder King said, "Everything I see possesses a quality called color-"
"We can see that, too!" Nino said, annoyed.
"Well then, can mortals tell which sibling is the eldest by looking at them?" the Alder King asked.
"You can?" Ichika said.
"Which one of us is the oldest?" Nino asked.
"You are," the Alder King said, pointing to Nino.
"What?" Ichika said. "But I'm the oldest! It's literally part of my name!"
The alder King shook his head. "I can tell as easily as I can tell that her hair is pink. She is the eldest."
"Bu-but… How!?" Ichika asked.
The Alder King shrugged. "If mortals can't tell at a glance, then it would probably be easy to get you all mixed up. Especially when you were all infants."
"I'm not the oldest?" Ichika said.
"So, which one is she then?" Nino asked.
"How should I know?" The Alder King said. "All I can determine is who is the oldest of the siblings."
"Well, I just hope Ichika doesn't make a big deal out of this. Hey, Ichi-" Nino abruptly realized that Ichika was no longer with them. She looked backwards on the street and saw Ichika, curled up in the fetal position.
"Is that normal for her?" The Alder King asked, curiously.
"Probably not." Nino said.
"I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!" Ichika wailed piteously.
"...Right, well, this seems to be a family problem, so good luck with that." The Alder King said, before turning and walking away.
"Where the heck are those guys?" Nino said.
"We probably should have picked a place to meet up before we took off." Miku said. She and Itsuki were still riding on Futaro's back, though now that they were back in town they were a lot more conspicuous.
"Everybody is staring at us." Itsuki said, trying to make herself look as inconspicuous as possible.
"W-well, at least there's nobody we know-"
"Itsuki, is that you?" The three of them looked to see a lanky, nebbish boy who they recognized from school.
"Oh, Diedrich?" Itsuki asked. She had been the one addressed, and she spoke German better than Miku did- though her own proficiency left much to be desired.
"Itsuki, uh… why are you and Nino riding a bear?" Diedrich asked.
"That's Miku, actually." Itsuki said.
"I'm not sure that's the most important thing, here. Are you two sure that's safe?"
"It's fine," Miku said while patting Futaro's back. "He's my boyfriend."
"Miku!" Itsuki yelled, "You're going to sound-"
"Ah man, that's Futaro? He got turned into a bear?" Diedrich said.
Futaro gave a slow nod.
"Well, I guess that's where you've been all week." Diedrich said. "Tell me if you need any help, okay? The whole debate team's been missing you."
Miku reached forward and patted Futaro on the head. "You're making some good friends."
Itsuki looked at Diedrich intently. "You're pretty quick to believe that Futaro got turned into a bear."
Diedrich shrugged. "It happens sometimes. My cousin got turned into a bear last month."
"What is with this country?" Itsuki said.
"And so," Isanari said, "The good news is; your dad was able to make it to the eighty-eighth Buddhist temple five minutes before midnight, and broke the curse."
They were still walking.
Yotsuba nodded. "And that's why he's not dead!"
"Exactly! But the bad news is that the Triad boss wasn't happy that we'd stolen his car, so he put out a bounty on us. So I had to ask my ma for help, and she called up a few of her old comrades from her days in Belfast, and one of 'em was living in Prague. So the two of us faked our deaths and moved to Czechia, where we finished the last year of high school."
"Huh, I wonder why he never talked about it?" Yotsuba asked herself.
"Probably because he hated it." Isanari said. "He didn't make many friends there, but he sure made a lot of enemies."
"Aww, poor dad- Hey, wait a minute, what was that about Belfast? What was your mom doing there?"
"It was her hometown. And she wasn't with the Provos or anything like that. She wanted Northern Ireland to be part of Japan."
"Oh, that sounds… really…"
"Don't worry if it doesn't make any sense to you. I've never figured it out."
"Okay, round four!" Nino said.
"I would say that your determination is admirable, but it would probably be better if you did give up." The Alder King said.
"Yeah, but we're not going to give up!" Ichika said.
"Do you have anything that will make this time work any differently?" the Alder King asked.
"We called a friend!" Nino said.
"I see. Who is your friend?"
"That guy right behind you!" Nino said.
The Alder King turned around and found himself face-to-face with a grizzly bear, reared up on its hind legs. Miku and Itsuki were standing a ways behind.
"How did you find a grizzly on this continent?" the Alder King asked, confused.
Futaro roared at him.
The Alder King squinted at the bear. "Oh, this is a young man transformed into a bear."
Futaro responded by swinging a massive paw into the Alder King's head, knocking him to the ground.
"This might work!" Itsuki cheered.
A wall of air blasted out from the Alder King that sent Futaro stumbling. It slammed into Itsuki and Miku, knocking them from their feet.
"You there!" The Alder King said, pointing towards Itsuki. "Were you the one who transformed him?"
"Huh?" Itsuki said. "Why the heck are you asking me?"
"You're the only one here with magic." He said matter-of-factly.
"M-magic? Magic!? What the heck makes you think that?" Itsuki asked.
The Alder King turned to look at Nino. "Can humans not see magic in others?"
"Nah, not really." Nino said.
He turned back to Itsuki. "The fifth child always has magic. You must be the fifth child in your family."
"Uh, well, I am-"
"Oh sure, mom got her right…" Ichika muttered
"-but I'm not the one who transformed him. A witch did that" Itsuki said.
"Hmmm-" The Alder King was abruptly cut off due to being body-checked by a bear. "Do you intend to turn him back, then?" he wheezed.
"Can I do that?" Itsuki asked, her curiosity piqued.
"For a proper sorceress to break a witch's hex?" The Alder King said as he lay on his back and avoided the jaws of an angry bear. "It's easy. Simply focus on what you wish to happen and snap your fingers."
Itsuki wrenched her face in concentration and snapped her fingers. There was no show of lights or dramatic puff of smoke or anything of the sort. There was a soft plink as if somebody had just played a single note on a woodblock, and where there had been a bear a moment before there was now a certain lanky Japanese teenage boy.
Which also meant that he was no longer able to keep the Alder King pinned to the ground, as Futaro was no longer as strong as a bear. The Alder King threw him off with little effort. The Alder King got to his feet and then walked away at a brisk stroll, brushing Nino aside when she tried to stop him.
Miku helped Futaro to his feet, and he made his way to Itsuki. Itsuki trembled.
"Uh-umm- I know I messed up, turning you back when I did-"
"Yeah, you did." Futaro said before patting Itsuki on the head. "But you were trying to help me out, and I'm… really thankful that you did."
"Uesugi, thank you." Itsuki said.
"Futaro, I'm really glad that you're back to normal," Ichika said, "But what's our plan now? Are we just supposed to run after the Alder King and hope that we can beat him with our fists?"
"Basically, yeah." Nino said.
"I'd like to complain, but I don't have any better ideas." Futaro said.
The five of them took off.
"I was really excited when I got my test back and it turned out that I got a 65 on it, until Ue- until… Futaro… told me that at our new school, you need to get at least a 70 to pass." Yotsuba said.
"Sheesh, that school sounds tough… Hey, were do these nuns live, anyways?" Isanari asked. "We've been walking for a really long time."
"Oh, they live at the boarding house back that way!" Yotsuba said, pointing to a building they had passed some time ago.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Isanari asked.
"I was enjoying the walk" Yotsuba said.
"You just shot me!" The Alder King said indignantly.
"And it didn't work!" Reinhilde yelled, having to hold herself back from throwing her blunderbuss down in frustration.
"We're here to help!" Ichika yelled, as she, her full sisters, and Futaro crowded into the Meidl sisters' apartment.
"Huh," Futaro said, looking at the five Meidl sisters. They had all cut their hair to the same length as Vera's bob cut and were wearing identical blue hair ribbons as her.
"Is this all some manner of test?" The Alder King asked. "Are you trying to make sure that I'm sincere about my desire to wed her?"
"Has he been saying stuff like that all night?" Futaro asked.
"He has." Ichika said.
"This is our last line of defense." One of the Meidls said.
"There's no way you can tell which one of us the real Vera-"
"It's her." The Alder King said calmly, pointing to one of the Meidls.
"Whaaaaa!?" the girl he indicated said. "How did you know?"
"Vera, don't say that! He's bluffing!" said another Meidl.
"Well, now he knows who she is! Good job, Itsuki." said yet another Meidl.
"For clarity's sake, I truly did know it was her." The Alder King said.
"He's lying!" said the same Meidl as three lines up.
"He's a lying liar who lies about everything!" Ichika added.
"I am physically incapable of lying." The Alder King added. "And so you can all appreciate that I am sincere when I say that I grow weary of this farce." He strode forward and took Vera by the hand. "Come, my dear, I have proven myself to your kin. Let us enjoy our new matrimony."
"Don't you get it?" Futaro asked, annoyed. "She doesn't want to marry you."
The Alder King frowned and looked around the room, then back to Vera. "Is that true, Vera? Do you… not wish to wed me?"
"Um, well, so… that is…"
"She doesn't!" announced everybody else.
"I would prefer not to…" Vera added.
"Are you certain?" The Alder King asked desperately.
"...I am, yeah." Vera said.
"Very well then." The Alder King said. as he released Vera's hand. "Our betrothal is hereby dissolved."
"Are you serious?" Nino yelled. "All we had to do was tell him?"
"Yeah, maybe we should have tried talking to him in the first place." Ichika said.
The Alder King turned around and made his way toward the door.
"You really love her, don't you?" Futaro asked as the Alder King walked by. "That's why you were able to pick her out from her sisters."
"I do, yes." The Alder King said, his voice empty.
"How many times had you seen her before?" Miku asked.
"Just once."
Futaro and the Nakanos gave him a puzzled look.
"Is once not enough for humans?" the Alder King asked. "Perhaps this was doomed anyways."
"It does hurt when the one you love doesn't love you back." Itsuki told him. "But I don't think that means your feelings were in vain."
"Then what meaning is there?" the Alder King asked.
"I think… I think it helps you grow, and become someone better." Itsuki offered.
The Alder King gave her a sad smile. "You are a kind girl, to console me so."
"I've been through something similar." Itsuki said.
"If there's anything I can do to repay you…"
"Can you teach me about magic?" Itsuki asked.
The Alder King nodded. "I can come to this world one night of every three months. Your first lesson begins then."
He made his way out the door.
"Welp, we won!" Nino said. "Who's ready to party?"
"Me! I am!" Vera said.
"You're really stressed, aren't you?" Ichika said.
"Uh-huh! And I need to relax!"
"A little celebration would be nice," Reinhilde said, "But first we need to get these weapons back where we got them."
"Before the owner finds out?" Ichika said. Reinhilde started to answer before Ichika interrupted, "No, please don't tell us. It's better if we don't know."
"Maybe we could celebrate tomorrow?" Heinrike said.
"We'll see ya then!" Nino said.
"Hey, could I stay with you guys tonight?" Futaro said to the Nakanos. "I heard somebody blew the door off my apartment."
Udo Marvin, one of the most dangerous witches in Austria, opened his door, saw a middle school girl standing on his doorstep and giving a friendly smile, and promptly began screaming as if he were being murdered.
"Hiya, Udo!" Reiha Uesugi said in fluent High German. "How are you doing tonight?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Udo responded.
"Oh, so you're not doing well tonight?" Reiha asked. "I understand. I'm not having a great evening, either. It turns out that somebody turned my brother into a bear. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA-um, I mean, I may-" Udo said.
"Remember; I don't like witches, but I like liars even less!" Reiha said, with all the gravity of discussing her favorite pizza topping.
"I-I did it!" Udo confessed, "But it wasn't my idea! Somebody paid me to do it!"
"Really?" Reiha asked, putting her finger to her chin in thought. "Now who could that have been?"
"I don't know his real name!" Udo said. "But he called himself 'Doctor Worm'."
"Hmmm," Reiha seemed to consider. "Okay! I'm in a good mood now, so you'll get to live at least until tomorrow!"
"T-tomorrow?" Udo asked in alarm.
"Does living until tomorrow not interest you?" Reiha asked.
"N-no- I mean, It sounds good! Thank you, Ms. Reiha!"
"You're welcome!" Reiha said cheerfully. "Have a good night!"
Futaro and four of the quintuplets had returned to the latter's apartment. Futaro had been getting their couch ready to sleep on when the girls came by to talk.
"Uh, Miku?" Futaro asked. "Is everything okay? You're giving me mixed signals here."
Miku was currently hugging Futaro tightly, while also giving her signature angry pout.
"I'm really happy that you're okay," She said, "But I'm also mad at you."
"W-what's wrong?" Futaro asked.
"You were in trouble, and you didn't tell me." Miku said.
Futaro looked to the other sisters, who were also glaring at him.
"You need to tell me when something is wrong." Miku said sternly. "I want to help you when you're hurting."
"Yeah, you're right." Futaro said. "I should have told you all. Even if Itsuki couldn't have turned me back."
"Why didn't you?" Ichika asked, her face softening.
Futaro sighed. "It's because… It's because I'm the one used to helping out all of you. I forget sometimes that you can help me, too."
"And I promise I will." Miku said.
"I love you, Futaro."
The line had been anticipated, but Futaro was expecting it from Miku. Nobody had been expecting Itsuki to be the one to say it.
"O-oh, I get it," Futaro said weakly, "When you say you love me, what you really mean is-"
"I mean romantically. I am in love with you." Itsuki said.
"This can't keep happening!" Ichika wailed.
"Why are you telling me this?" Futaro asked, sounding weary in a way that ran deeper that the events of that day.
Miku looked at her sister, equal parts worried, confused, and hurt.
"It is not because I expect you to reciprocate." Itsuki said. "I am just being selfish. I want to find closure for these feelings. And also, because I want you to understand me. I know you do not love me back, and I want to learn to live with that. So, here is my promise; I will do everything in my power to help you and Miku." Itsuki smiled, even though tears were welling up in her eyes. "All I ask is to be your friend."
"I don't want to steal Itsuki's thunder here, but… I feel the same way." Ichika said.
"Well… yeah?" Futaro said. "I mean, of course we're friends, Itsuki. You're important to me. All five of you are." He put his arms around Miku and pulled her closer. "Even if my relationships with you five aren't all the same. Besides, you five were all holding my hand at the end of the bonfire, remember? We're stuck together. You guys'll probably invite yourselves along on Miku and I's honeymoon."
"H-honeymoon?" Miku asked, somehow both delighted and mortified.
"And I'm sure you'll be happy to have us." Itsuki retorted.
Futaro kind of hated that she was right.
The other three had gone to bed.
"I hope Nino's going to be okay." Futaro said. "She'll probably have a really bad hangover tomorrow."
"She'll be fine." Miku said calmly.
"What makes you say that?" Futaro asked.
"Because she's not really drunk."
Futaro raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"I was in charge of getting the wine, but I got too nervous about actually buying any, so I bought an old wine bottle and filled it up with grape juice and vinegar."
"Huh," Futaro said. "The placebo effect is something else."
Author's Note: These stories aren't the most popular, but they're a lot of fun to write.