Subaru was on the verge of waking up, but he kept his eyes closed as he heard voices nearby. He realized that he was lying under a bed, most likely Emilia's bed. He could feel the soft mattress underneath him and the warmth of the blankets that covered him. Despite being vulnerable, he felt comforted knowing he was close to Emilia. He remained still and listened to the voices, trying to make sense of the conversation.

"Puck, you almost killed Subaru. Why, why?"

"Lia, I'm just trying to protect you."

"From what? Making friends? I told you I'd kill myself, Puck, and you still harmed Subaru…."

"Lia, I'm just trying to-"

"No, just stop. I'm done, Puck. If it weren't for Beatrice, then Subaru would've died."

"Lia, what do you mean you're done?"

"I'm done with you, Puck. Our contract is over. You can now be a free spirit."

"Lia… don't-"

"No, stop, please. Just go. You've always made me stay alone, and I finally met someone that didn't think I was Satella. Just please leave."

"Fine, Lia, I hope you stay safe."

Subaru heard the name Satella. He wondered what that meant. He remembered meeting Satella and getting his power, but he wasn't sure how he knew her name. Now Emilia says she met someone who didn't think she was Satella. Subaru was confused, thinking Satella was an older version of her or something similar. Subaru wondered if he could use his ability in his current state.

'Frozen Time'

Weird it worked. I'm in Emilia's room in her bed. She was arguing with Puck, and now Puck is gone. Emilia is crying.

I don't want her to cry…

'Resume Time'

Subaru slowly opened his eyes and was pleasantly surprised to find that his wound had completely healed. He gazed at Emilia, still deeply lost in her thoughts and tears. Despite the sounds of her sobs, she seemed completely unaware that Subaru was now awake.

Subaru spoke with a gentle voice to not startle her, "Emilia… it's alright."

Emilia saw Subaru was awake, but tears were still shedding, "Subaru, I'm so sorry. If you never came here, you wouldn't have been injured again…."

Subaru stood up from the bed, "Emilia, if I didn't come here, I wouldn't have found you. I love you."

Emilia's confusion overrode her sadness momentarily, "You what?"

Subaru wrapped his arms around Emilia's waste and gave her a gentle kiss. Emilia was shocked but felt the comfort and warmth she craved. She remembered something she had forgotten. It was almost like Deja Vu. She was scared of what she remembered, placing the sound of a voice that felt like someone she knew.

Subaru didn't understand why he did what he did but almost felt it was instinct. Nonetheless, he enjoyed the brief kiss immensely. Emilia's presence almost intoxicated him, but he still didn't understand why.

Subaru wanted more of Emilia but could tell she was not in the right mind. He wasn't sure what the issue was but could tell that Emilia was exhibiting signs similar to retrograde amnesia. He wondered, however, why she would be in amnesia after Puck's contract ended. He knew he needed to find Beatrice but didn't want to leave Emilia alone.

Subaru stroked Emilia's hair and could tell her breathing was calming, "Emilia, we should go talk to Beatrice."

Emilia looks up at Subaru's eyes, "Why?"

Subaru sighs, "I need to know whether or not a contract can seal memories."

Emilia looked at Subaru before realizing, "Subaru, I don't remember anything before Puck freed me from the ice. I thought it was just caused by the long time I was on the ice…."

That flying cat is more of a piece of shit than a thought… sealing memories? That's beyond twisted. Even if her past is filled with misery, it's the only way to grow as a person.

Subaru promised, "Emilia, let's go find Beatrice and ask. Come on, let's go."

Subaru reached out and grabbed Emilia's hand, and she followed him without hesitation. They made their way down the hallway until they reached the first door. Without any hesitation, Subaru opened the door and saw Beatrice staring at him as he walked towards her with Emilia.
Subaru asked, "Beatrice, can a contract with a spirit include any form of memory alteration or loss?"

Beatrice looked at Emilia in confusion, "Yes, it can. A contract can seal memories if both parties agree. Emilia, did you break your contract with Puck?"

Emilia nodded, "What memories? What memories were sealed?"

The sound echoed throughout the room, causing Emilia and Subaru to focus on the source. It was coming from the direction of the Forbidden Library, where the door was left ajar.

Subaru asks, "Roswaal?"

Roswaal grins, "It seems that the eventtttss~ are changing. Emilia, we will go to the Sanctuary. It's the only way you can regainnn~ all your memories."

Subaru asks Beatrice, "Are you ready to make the contract?"

Beatrice looks at Subaru with concern, "We can discuss it after you return, I suppose."

Subaru nods, "Thank you."

Roswaal casts a yang spell on Emilia. By casting this magic, Roswaal hoped to help Emilia gain a clearer understanding of her past and her current state, which would, in turn, enable her to function more effectively.

Emilia's breathing begins to calm, and her tense body begins to relax. Subaru isn't sure what the Sanctuary is but wants to help Emilia in any way he can. He looks at Roswaal's grin, untrusting of his ambitions but deduces that currently, he's not a threat.

Subaru asks, "Where is the Sanctuary?"

Roswaal responds, "It's a secluded village within my domainnnn~. I already had Ram prepare a carriage for you two. I will fly there and make sureeee~ no trouble awaits you."

What does he by that?

Subaru responds, "How are we going to get there? Also, what do you mean by trouble?"

Roswaal explains, "There is a younggg~ boy within the Sanctuary that is veryyy~ strong. I will insure that he is not a threat when you arrive."

Didn't answer my first question.

Subaru repeats, "So how will I find this place?"

Roswaal handed over a map to Subaru and pointed toward a specific location that was circled on the map. As Subaru took the map and looked at it, he couldn't help but notice the positive effects of the yang spell that Roswaal had cast on Emilia earlier. Her altered memories stabilized, and she was functioning quite well, although she seemed on edge. Despite the changes, Emilia appeared to be her usual self, and Subaru was relieved to see that the magic spell was working effectively.

Roswaal states, "I mustttt~ get going. I'll see you two sooon~."

Subaru turned towards Beatrice and gave her a friendly wave before walking towards Emilia.

Subaru gives a short kiss to Emilia before leaving, "It'll be alright."

Emilia smiles and returns the kiss, "I hope your right…."

Together, they approached the dragon-drawn carriage already prepared and waiting for them, with Ram standing attentively by the side. Subaru has seen the ground dragon and remembers the name 'Patrasche.'

What? How the hell do I remember a ground dragon's name? This is like what happened when I remembered Satella's name.

Subaru waves at Ram, "Thank you for preparing the ground dragon for us."

Subaru looks at the red-scaled ground dragon and asks, "Is her name Patrasche?"

Ram shrugs, but the ground dragon makes a noise that almost confirms Subaru's question. Patrasche begins to be very friendly to Subaru.

Subaru asks, "Wait, Ram are you coming?"

Ram nods, "Yes, Lord Roswaal asked me to accompany you and help you find the Sanctuary."

Wonder why he didn't mention that before.

Ram then adds, "I also rather not have you two love birds go on a trip together."

Emilia and Subaru both felt a rush of embarrassment and then sighed. They stepped into the dragon carriage that had been prepared by Ram and settled into their seats. The trio then began their journey towards the Sanctuary, with Emilia and Subaru sitting side by side and feeling a bit flustered from their earlier interaction.

Ram notices, "We will arrive at the Sanctuary shortly."

Emilia asks, "Ram do you know anything about this place? Or how will it restore my memories?"

Ram shook her head, "No, I don't. I only know what Lord Roswaal told me."

This situation is starting to feel a bit off. Ram always looks pretty loyal to Roswaal, but now that Emilia's memories are at stake… I'm going to have to play this game seriously.

Subaru and Emilia's eyes locked onto each other, reflecting their shared concern. Despite his desire to offer comfort and support to Emilia, Subaru held back, recognizing that such efforts may not be effective in their current situation and could prove counterproductive.

As the trio continues to banter, they see in the distance a forest. Subaru is confused about where this village is and why it's called the Sanctuary. He already assumed by the name that the location would be far from what the name implies.

Emilia sees in the distance what looks like a house. She points at it, "Look, Ram. Are we at the Sanctuary?"

Ram nods, "Yes, we will go to the location where you take trials. Lord Roswaal told me that doing so is the only way you can see your past."

Subaru questions, "What exactly does seeing your past mean?"

Ram shrugs, "I don't know, Subaru. At this point, I should also tell you that demi-humans, including Emilia, are stuck here unless they break through the trial. A barrier around the Sanctuary will kill any demi-human that attempts to leave if the trials are not completed."

Emilia stares at Ram in shock, "What?"

A barrier? Well, for one not going to test if she's lying. The first thing to do is to see the nature of these 'trials.' However, currently, I am in a terrible position. If something goes wrong, then Emilia will be stuck here.

Subaru places his hand on Emilia's, "It'll be fine. Whatever trials these may be, you'll be able to complete them. You have a strong will, are beautiful, and are not the type of person to give up. I believe in you."

Emilia blushes, "Subaru, stop your embarrassment. But you are right. We'll get through this together."

Ram slowly takes in the drastic change Emilia has had over the past few days. She never thought a single person could influence her this much in such a short amount of time. Ram never thought much of Emilia other than a piece for Roswaal's plan but began to form respect for her. However, she also couldn't help but question if their words would remain true once they attempted the trials.

The trio spots Roswaal in the distance with a blonde-haired boy distanced from him. Subaru could already tell that the two were preparing to fight or be on guard. He could assume magic users most likely are mid and long-range fighters while those specializing in other forms of combat, like the knights, specialize in close range. Seeing Roswaal on guard was surprising as the blonde-haired boy didn't look that old to Subaru.

As the three reach Roswaal, they all sense the tension between the blonde-haired boy, that seems to be guarding some sort of temple or entrance. Subaru was worried if Roswaal was on guard, he could probably do nothing. He begins to wonder if he should've pressured Beatrice more so he'd have a way to fight, but currently, all he had were words.

Subaru says, "Emilia, Ram is cautious around the blonde-haired boy."

They both nod and approach Roswaal. The blonde-haired boy starts getting closer, and Subaru can already discern a few character traits based on context, actions, and body language.

Great. So he's the competitive dynamic type. If he wants to fight, that'll be bad. The only way to fix this is to defuse all tension and make him feel valued. However, I'm the weakest and the only one to do this. It's a gamble, but if Roswaal can't fight him, we're all dead anyway.

Subaru approached the young boy, Subaru spoke in a friendly tone, "I can tell your strong."

Roswaal and the others wait for Subaru, hoping he can find a way to avoid violence.

The blonde-haired man stares at Subaru, "Tha names Garfiel and ya got that right. I am strong. I'm the shield of the Sanctuary." he finishes banging his fists together.

Subaru then asks in a passive and curious tone, "I see that you were guarding that area over there. I'm not sure what it is, but I've been told that it allows you to see your past. Is that true?"

He got tense when I mentioned the idea. More than likely, he did attempt a trial and had an adverse reaction. If I assume everything I've been told is true, then he has insecurity about his past. The best solution would be to explain my past opening up first.

Garfiel speaks defensively, "Listen, I'm not letting any of ya try to break the barrier."

Subaru smiles, "The trial can only be taken by demi-humans, correct? So if I were to enter, what would happen?"

Garfiel ponders the questions before responding, "I think ya would just die. Why do ya wan do the trials and break da barrier?"

Subaru frowns, reflecting self-hatred, "I forgot to say my name is Subaru. If it's true that these trials let you relive your past, I want to relive mine."

Garfiel gets closer to Subaru, "Was ya past full of good memories and happy times?"

Subaru's voice goes shallow, "No. I caused everyone I cared for misery and my only friend to die because of stupidity."

Garfiel is skeptical but quickly begins to believe Subaru, "Why would ya want to relive that?"

Subaru responds, making eye contact with Garfiel, "To learn from my failures. I only live now to protect the people I care about. Emilia is one of those people, and she will never be able to leave this place if the trials aren't completed."

Garfiel felt mixed emotions. He couldn't understand why someone would want to relive a past of misery. He didn't doubt a single word Subaru said, making him wonder what he is living for. He wants to be a shield that people can rely on when needed. Subaru's terms of living only to protect those he cares for felt familiar to him. But his pride wouldn't allow them to continue without a fight.

Garfiel gets in a fighting stance, "Ya say you wanna protect those ya care about? Well, then, show me ya strong. If ya can beat me, I'll let ya do whatever ya want."

Well, it took a while to get to this point.

Subaru didn't move his position, "I don't have strength compared to you, Garfiel, I will admit that. But do you have the strength to relive your past? Do you have the strength to relive hell?"

Garfiel begins to remember his trial and how agonizing it was. But he couldn't even say anything against Subaru since he hasn't let him take the trial.

Garifel begins to get angry, remembering what he wanted to forget, "What the hell do ya know about my life? If I don't like ya answer, I'll jus kill you right now."

Subaru responded, "You and I are alike, in a way, people responsible for what happened to who we cared for."

Garfiel's eyes widened, "What do ya mean?"

Subaru responds, "How about we do this? Instead of fighting physically, we fight with our willpower. We both will enter the trial together. You said I'll probably die, but I'm willing to risk it."

Garfiel doesn't know how to respond. Subaru gave him a way to fight him fairly, and his reasons made sense. A strong fighter should have strong willpower. If he kills Subaru or declines, he's admitting defeat.

Garfiel challenged, "Fine. But if you end up dead, all your friends end up dead too. Are ya willing to take that risk?"

Subaru nods, "Yes, I am. And if we both end up coming out of it fine, then you allow Emilia to take the trial. Is that fair?"

Garfiel accepts, "Fine. Ya, reckless, but I sorta respect that."

Ram, Roswaal, and Emilia watch as Garfiel and Subaru enter the trial room and collapse onto the floor.

Subaru opens his eyes and sees a blinding light. He looks around and sees grass on the ground and what feels like a direction to go.

This feels like that time I was sent to that weird reality with Satella. What is this?

Subaru continued walking until he saw the outline of someone and a table with chairs. As he got closer, he saw white-haired women, tea glasses, and cookies. He stared at the white-haired woman with a black dress and a smile that almost triggered every warning signal that Subaru had.

Is this trial? How is this my past?

Subaru eventually got close enough to ask the woman, "Who are you?"

She smiled, "My name is Echidna, or the Witch of Greed."

This is strange, but nothing surprises me anymore. The only question is if this is the trial or not.

Subaru asked, "Echidna is this the trial?"

She nodded in response, "You have been invited to a Witch's Tea Party. This is not the trial I find you interesting."
Subaru replies, "In what way?"

Echidna sips her tea, "You're an interesting variant. Not the usual power. I wonder what happened to change that."

Variant? I don't end want to go down that rabbit hole.

Subaru sighs, "I assume you brought me here for a reason. What is it?"

Echidna puts down her tea cup, "I am curious about you. You're an outlier. In short, I want to offer you a contract."

Contract with a witch? Great idea.

Subaru looks into her eyes with skepticism, "What exactly do I gain from this contract?"

Echidna's smile gets more prominent, "You will have access to all my knowledge! You will know all the truths of this world."

This is going to be fun.

Subaru replies, "Truths you say? Tell me, what makes something true or a lie? Is it your subjective outlook on your reality deciding that, or is it true? I've had to come to terms with accepting what I see as real, but the question still exists. If your only offer is the knowledge that may or may not be true, it's meaningless."

Echidna's smile begins to straighten, "I'm confused. What is your point?"

Subaru sighs, "That you offer something meaningless. How do you know your knowledge is true? Ever since I got sent to this world, I've put all philosophical arguments about the reality behind me since it didn't change anything, but it does matter in this context."

Echidna smiles, "Subaru, I know something that would probably break your mind. I suggest you drink that tea before I tell you."

Subaru rejects, "If you're going to tell me that my life or reality is false or a fabrication. A time loop or any other suggestion I already know. I don't care, regardless. In a world where your own conscious is your only proof that anything you see is real, you must reject any opposing concepts, or else you'd lose your mind."

Echidna argues, "But it's the truth."

Subaru smiles, "Tell me then, how do you know for certain that whatever you think I'm living isn't the same for you? We have no proof everything we process, knowledge, awareness, beliefs, and morality is all subjective and can be altered. So tell me, how can you prove to me that you're real? How can you prove that your existence is true."

Echidna thought for a moment but came to no response. Subaru's argument can't have a valid reply since the premise is based on perspective. But then again, it also has meaning and is a good argument against her claim to be able to give Subaru actual knowledge of the world.

Echidna sighs, "This conversation will get nowhere. You still do things and function however in this world, so you care for it. If you do, then this is your reality."

Subaru thinks of a clear example to give, "It's because the argument itself leads nowhere. But in the case of you offering a contract where you would tell me absolute truths is a blatant lie. If you were to offer what you think is true, it would be much more convincing."

Echidna frowns, "So then, what conditions for a contract would you be open to?"

Subaru thinks, "You can give people trials of their past. Is that based on only their memories?"

Echidna's frown morphs into a smile after each response, "No, not entirely. The trials function on both memories, and they form a simulated world. If you lack memories for a specific event, it creates the most accurate replica of what transpired."

In theory, this could work. Simple cause and effect with probability and likelihood in a world setting could create the outcomes for every event. The standard argument against free will. However, this may be useful considering my lack of understanding of history and knowledge in this world, and seeing it would be preferable to her telling me.

Subaru asks, "That's intriguing. But then again, I doubt this contract will benefit me."

Echidna shakes her head, "It will have countless benefits. You can ask me anything, and I will help you understand. With my knowledge and your understanding, you would be able to do anything."

Subaru repeats, "Once again, you dodged the question. What exactly is the benefit for you?"

Echidna sighs, "You may be the first to break it. So I'm very flexible on the terms of the contract."

Subaru smiles, "Alright. Your benefit to this contract is a single thing, being able to spectate my existence in this world. Unless requested, you stay silent. If possible, I also want to see past replications of events for certain situations and future replications."

Echidna debates, "That's quite a beneficial contract for yourself… I don't know if I'm that flexible."

"If the theory that I continue to avoid thinking of is true, then your statement on me being the one who can break it is most likely correct. However, the path that roads lead to is nothing but ruin." Subaru continued, "But if the theory is correct, nothing is happening. This world is stuck in time. It's a sickening concept, but it may be the truth. Those are the final and only conditions I will agree upon. You may decide whether you accept or decline."

Echidna was stunned for a moment before thinking about what Subaru had said. She was tired of this life of repetition. She herself begins to question what is real or retaining memory after each failed loop.

Echidna decides, "Fine. I agree to your terms, but I should warn you some of the future outcomes you'll see might break your mind."

Subaru smirks, "It might break yours as well. No being, whether a human, witch or any other intelligent life form, is immune to this concept. We simply ignore it since it doesn't affect anything, but it does in this case. Let's start with the past and then go to future scenarios to see which one works."

The idea I was so afraid of… why am I going towards it?

Is it for redemption or meaning? Is it for a purpose?

Or perhaps it's out of fear that everything I've enjoyed in this world has been a lie.

But then again, I'm contradicting myself. This path I'm going down was already set in stone if I assume the evidence is correct.

But I don't want to… at the end of the day, I just want one thing.

I just want a happy life with Emilia.

Why does that possibility seem so hard to reach?

Holy shit, this chapter was hard to write.

I had no idea how hard dealing with Garfiel without a fight would be, but I wanted to do it, so I did

Consider this the start of the climax of this story.

Also, don't expect future and past scenarios next chapter since I'd be spoiling my plot, but, uh yeah.

I could make this darker than Re:Zero itself without even using physical death, or I could not. I still haven't decided on the ending.

I might rewrite this chapter, so let me know if anything is too confusing to read. It's a lot of philosophy in this one, and it might get repetitive, but it's sort of important to the main plot