Chapter 39
From inside Bill's office Lucas had watched the scene between the two Mounties with some sympathy and for the first time he understood what Nathan had gone through all these years. He had spent so long being jealous of the man that he had never taken the time to consider the demons he had been carrying with him and the strength it must have taken to hold them at bay. But Nathan was strong and had good people around him. Who did he have? Now that he knew the truth about his mother and Mei Sou it appeared he had no-one, except perhaps his cousin Gustav. They may disagree over many things but he knew he always had his back.
Further down Main Street, Matthew knocked on the door of the jail then opened it slowly. Poking his head in he gave Antoine a quick nod before indicating for him to join him outside. He had been trying to find the right words but the minute he looked at the other man's face it was clear that he didn't need to say anything. He knew. "I'm so sorry Antoine, we did everything we could for him but it was never going to be enough." On his way to the Mountie Office he had stopped back in at the saloon to seek out Bruce Wilson. Knowing that the two men were close he hoped that having his friend here to talk would help Antoine get through this.
Matthew had seen more than most country doctors ever did, his work as a medic during the war exposing him to the darkest of moments for so many men. At times he had despaired as he watched those around him struggle to deal with what they saw yet unable to express or share their feelings. Why did women find it so much easier, he wondered. He could always tell when Faith was troubled by something and yet it was never long before she would feel settled again, her friends having rallied around her to share her worries and offer words of support.
Now he was glad to see the tall Australian approaching, Harold Bishop walking alongside him. Antoine was in good hands with these men, he only hoped he would open up to them. As the two men drew nearer he turned back to Antoine, "I need to go inside and tell Helen Bouchard about Gustav, she is his closest relative. I'll be fine in there by myself so you take your time, talk to your friends."
As he left the outskirts of Hope Valley behind Nathan shifted forward in the saddle, spurring Newton to an even faster gallop. He didn't want to think right now, he just needed to escape everything that was going on in his mind before he did something that went against all that he believed in. With Lucas's last statement he had felt the weight of so many years suddenly come crashing down on him. All that guilt he had carried, no matter how many times others told him he was not to blame. Everything he had put Allie through as he tried to make restitution for what he thought had been an act of recklessness and disobedience on his part. And now it seemed he had just been a pawn in the machinations of one man whose desire for revenge spared no-one. He had always questioned what happened at Fort Clay, believing there was much more to the story he had been told. And he had been right. But that didn't matter just now for he was full of so much anger and hatred that he couldn't be with anyone other than his trusted horse. Newton always understood.
Eventually he slowed, coming down to a canter then a trot before turning into an opening in the trees where the trail went down to one of his and Allie's favourite fishing spots. Dismounting he led Newton to the water for a drink, pulling a cloth from his saddlebag to wipe down his friend before tying his reins to a tree. Then all the energy suddenly drained from him and he slumped to the ground, his head in his hands as he battled the emotions within. So much pain inflicted on so many people. Jack. Charlotte. Tom. Allie. Little Jack. All the good people of Hope Valley. Even Elizabeth. Could he have stopped it?
He thought back to the time at Fort Clay and all his interactions with Andrew Hargreaves. Suddenly everything made sense. When he had refused to do the extra training, knowing that the surrounding area was unstable at that time of year, Hargreaves had seen an opportunity and sent him out on that mission. He had then requested that Jack be brought in knowing that he had been asking questions about his father and would jump at the chance.
Every single confusing detail had been part of Hargreave's plan.
Now he knew that he was always meant to catch the cattle rustlers because Hargreaves understood that he could never let a criminal escape, no matter what his orders were. He would be a Mountie in disgrace so who would listen to him. It had all worked out perfectly. Until now.
Suddenly he let out a loud almost primal scream, the anger inside him desperate to be released. Picking up his cap from where it had landed on the ground he threw it with as much force as he could muster, another bellow from deep within his being. "I am done!" he shouted to the sky, wondering how much more God was going to test him. Had he not answered every question time and time again? "Do you hear me, I am done! I can not do this anymore." Then he put his head back down in his hands and cried.
Cecilia saw him coming back as the flash of red became visible in the distance when he emerged through the trees further out from the row houses and then as he and Newton turned onto Main Street. She was sitting outside the newspaper office in one of the wicker chairs Gabe had brought over from the jail, a rug over her knees as she waited for however long it took for Nathan to return.
Earlier she had been working at her desk when she saw him take off along the street, with Newton almost at a full gallop before they had left town. Immediately she knew something was wrong but before she could get out of her chair Rosemary was in front of her. "I'll go, we don't want anything happening to that baby. I promise I will be as fast as I can." True to her word she was back a few minutes later with Gabe and Allie, who Florence had alerted having also seen Nathan race by. Gabe spoke quietly, his voice calm as he relayed briefly what Lucas had told them, with the promise that the information would not be passed on.
When a few hours had gone by Gabe was back, wanting to go out to look for Nathan but she had said no. Her husband needed this time to sort out his emotions and when he was ready he would come home. The best thing they could do was to continue with the investigation as normal and not make Nathan feel guilty that everything had stopped because of him. Behind her calm exterior she was concerned though. Not that he would do anything harmful, that wasn't his way. No, she worried that he would feel the need to put on a brave face to everyone and bottle up all of his emotions. It had been strangling him slowly for years and now it seemed as though the noose had just tightened around his neck. Only by putting these criminals away would they be able to finally cut it.
Now as she watched him ride towards her she stepped out onto the road. Outwardly he was still the embodiment of the strong brave Mountie who instilled so much trust in those around him but she could see in his eyes it was a different story. There was pain there. Not for everyone to notice but they spoke to her in the way only someone who knew the man intimately would understand. He was asking her to help him be strong, to make no show out here on the street, for he was back in control of what he needed to be right now. So she smiled up at him, taking hold of Newton's bridle as he dismounted. She spoke quietly, "welcome back, my love".
As hard as she tried to hide it he could still see the hurt on her face, not for herself but for him. "I'm sorry". He reached out then, drawing her into his arms and savouring the comfort of her as he buried his face in her hair. No words were needed and to the people on the street it was a touching scene, their beloved Mountie and his wife who they had come to love. Allie watched from the front steps of The Mercantile, her usual boisterous greeting for her father silenced as she walked towards them. Nathan sensed as she drew near and without turning his head he simply opened his arm to welcome her in.
Over in the judge's office Bill had paused mid-question, his attention drawn to what was happening outside. He let out a sigh and nodded. Nathan was back and while there was still so much he would have to work through he must have at least found a way to settle it in his mind for now. There was nothing complicated about Nathan Grant, he just wanted to love and protect. What he deserved was to be loved in return and out there on the street he had everything he could ever need, he just had to banish all the past ghosts from his life.
It was early afternoon when Abigail stood waiting at one end of the hospital corridor, Allie beside her. She could feel the girl trembling, the events of the morning not having done much to help her stay calm and looking at her now Abigail wondered if this was the right thing to do. Perhaps she should tell Gabe that they would be better to wait another day or two.
At the other end she could see him talking animatedly with the psychiatric nurse and Mountie on duty this afternoon, some issue having obviously arisen over which they did not all agree. Finally he turned and waved for them to proceed and as they started to walk she felt Allie's hand reach for hers and with that she watched as the young woman straightened her spine before looking up at her with as much strength as she could muster. This girl has guts, she thought, just like her father.
There had been so much uncertainty about whether the visit should go ahead. Gabe had come to meet her in the cafe and quietly told her what Lucas had revealed to them this morning and how it had affected Nathan. Her reaction had been shock at first, then tears as she remembered Jack and what a good man he had been. So many times she had asked God why he always took the best from them and still the question hung there unanswered. Then she thought of Bill, knowing how close he had been to the young Mountie, asking Gabe if he was ok.
There was a lot of concern in Gabe's reply. "He didn't let his emotions show but I know he is hurting. Greg said that the energy he put into questioning Lucas after Nathan left was obviously his means of coping for now. He needed to be doing something constructive. I guess the only way I can explain it is that he acted like a man who having already lost one son in Jack was going to do his damnedest to make sure he didn't lose another."
"Two," Allie said quietly, walking across the cafe to join the conversation. "He has lost two. My dad told me that Uncle Bill's son Martin died a few years before he came to Hope Valley".
Abigail nodded. "That's right. It had hit him hard, I believe, but then Jack came into his life and it was wonderful to see what it did for him. I wasn't sure he would recover when Jack died so heaven knows what this news must be doing to him. But if I know Bill, he will be focusing on the living and right now all he will be thinking about is Nathan. He loves that man as much as he could any son."
They had waited then for Nathan to arrive and let them know what he had decided. Allie had gone home with her parents, needing to hear for herself that her dad was ok. He had been quite philosophical, speaking about how one man's actions had changed their lives and how important it was to take their experiences and use them to become better people. She had left them then, knowing there were things he needed to share with her mother that he didn't feel comfortable speaking with her about and she understood that. Cecilia Grant had a wisdom and a way of guiding people out of darkness that Allie could only hope to acquire one day. Her dad needed that right now.
When he walked into Minnie's Place a while later she was pleased to see that he had regained a lot of his composure, showing the confidence that everyone would expect from him. He was the most professional person she knew, always putting the safety and wellbeing of others first, but right now she wasn't sure what he would have to say. So it had surprised her that he wanted the arrangement to stand, albeit with some added caveats. "Allie, I need you to listen closely to me. You are not to mention Fort Clay to Mrs Bouchard or respond if she raises the subject. Simply say you were too young to remember anything about there. Is that understood?"
His daughter nodded, "If you would rather I didn't go dad, that would be ok. I don't want to do anything to cause you any more pain."
Taking hold of her hands across the table Nathan took a moment just to look at this girl he loved so much he sometimes thought his heart would burst, before replying. "What would hurt me most would be for you to have to carry unresolved issues forward in your life. Nobody deserves that burden. You need to do this, I just need you to be careful."
He turned to Abigail then, "I have no doubt that Jack Thornton will come up in your conversation, if you manage to have one with Elizabeth. I would just ask that you don't bring up Hargreaves and the Bouchards, or what you know of the investigation. If she raises the subject then that is different but try not to give too much away."
"Of course, if that is what you want. I'm just wondering what the reason for this is, Nathan? Is there something else I should be aware of?" she asked gently.
"Two reasons actually. Elizabeth may yet face charges in all of this so it is important that we keep everything we can about the investigation from her."
Everyone nodded and then when he said nothing more Abigail spoke, "And the second reason?" He tried not to look at Allie when he responded. "There is the risk that she could turn violent if they are mentioned or discussed." Turning to Gabe he finished "You understand that you are to use whatever force or means necessary to restrain her should that happen?"
Gabe nodded. "I will have the nurse ready with her medication so that it can be administered if required. We are taking a risk Nathan, you and I both know it, but I can't help thinking this may be an opportunity for us to gain an insight into exactly who she is. A madwoman or someone very clever."
Now they stood outside the door to her room. Ed Harter had arrived to replace the young Mountie, offering the experience to deal with Elizabeth alongside Gabe should the situation become difficult. He too would be looking for any indication in her behavior that would raise suspicion of her mental state. As Abigail felt Allie's hand tighten in hers, she leant across and whispered in her ear, "Scared is what you are feeling, brave is what you are doing. Remember that."
The hospital room had been made quite pleasant for Elizabeth. None of the people entering would have expected otherwise as they knew Nathan would believe that by making her comfortable he was doing his moral duty. No-one knew what she was guilty of yet. There was a small bookshelf on one side where Abigail recognized many of the titles they had both read on the shelves. On the top was a photograph of Little Jack, Elizabeth's demand for the one of her and Nathan at The Flynn's wedding having been refused. Beside it was a comfortable chair where Elizabeth now sat. Her hair had been freshly washed, lipstick put on her lips and she wore a pretty skirt and blouse that reminded Abigail of a time before she dressed to please Lucas Bouchard. As though she was trying to remind them of the person she once was.
Against another wall was her writing desk, a journal lying open on the top but no words were written on the pages. Gabe couldn't help but wonder if this was another message she was sending them, that she was not going to say anything.
Abigail and Allie sat down on the chairs the young Mountie had brought in, the disagreement earlier being when he asked for some to be removed so that only these two were left. He had explained that both he and Ed would remain standing but the nurse was concerned that would be intimidating for her patient until he pointed out that being in control was part of their job here. Ed had moved to stand on one side of Elizabeth while Gabe positioned himself beside the other two women. The nurse remained by the door, her tray with a syringe and restraints placed on the cupboard beside her.
Abigail spoke first, wanting to test the water. "Hello Elizabeth, it is good to see you. Thank you for letting us come." They waited patiently to see if she would respond, Matthew having warned them that it would depend very much on what mood she was in. Or what she would gain from it, Gabe had thought to himself. After what seemed a long time, Elizabeth finally looked up at them and smiled, the change of expression lifting her whole face. "It's lovely to see you too Abigail. And you brought Allie with you. That's just perfect!"
Keeping her face expressionless Elizabeth had watched as the group came into the room, trying to gauge the mood of each one of them. She had planned to rush over and hug Abigail, to once again be the person she wanted to her to be, but when she saw Allie behind her she had to think again about how she was going to do this. Gabe Kinslow was there, along with another of the Mounties who was part of the investigation, both looking very focused. She could almost sense Nathan in the room with them, his presence so evident in their manner.
This meeting was a challenge, something she needed to lift herself out of this cesspit they had kept her wallowing in for too long and let her move on to where she could begin to regain control. Hope Valley was never going to allow her that. The difficulty was walking that fine line that kept, keeping all the voices at bay. She was tired of fighting it, of living every day trying to recognise who she was. In the end it had become easier to become the person she was told to be, adopt the emotional processes she would be going through, live the part in every way even when by herself. To let that one character be her. But now she needed act differently if she was to discover what was happening out there and the best way to do that was to break Allie and hope that she would give something away.
Her original plan was to see how far she could push Abigail but Allie's arrival made things so much better, with the bonus of knowing what it would do to Nathan. She had to be careful though. Two Mounties in the room and the nurse standing at the back with her tray of control instruments did not surprise her. Nathan Grant would never allow his precious daughter to enter the gates of hell without having some protection in place. This could be an interesting game of cat and mouse, she just needed to find the right way to achieve her purpose.
It came as no surprise when Abigail spoke first. Always the peacemaker she would want to break the ice for everyone and see how things stood . Testing the water she would call it. For a moment hearing her voice was unsettling, just as it had been when she came to the door of the rowhouse. She had almost succumbed then, still unsure which version of her she would let her see, until she saw the figure standing on the grass and she had to shut everyone out until she knew why he was here. She thought the sobbing behind the door had been good though, knowing full well that it would only add to their confusion.
With no specific role in the investigation until Headquarters came back to him with orders, Nathan was feeling a bit lost. He was still maintaining overall control until he heard from them but knew he could not actively participate in anything to do with the suspects. He had been tempted to stay in the cafe until the meeting with Elizabeth was over, to be near should Allie need him, but he knew that would just be awkward and lead to questions he didn't want to answer. That he didn't have an answer for right now. So he decided to walk out to the warehouse complex and check first hand on what was happening there. Maybe he could advise those working on the case and make himself useful. At the very least it would fill some time.
He had full confidence in Walter and Patrick, who had worked beyond what anyone could have asked of them to sort out the myriad of information they had uncovered about the smuggling of the Chinese people. The horrors that they had been faced with must have had a huge impact on them and yet they continued, driven by an innate belief of what is right. Because of their hard work things were moving forward with this investigation at a fast rate. Sam Madison was arriving this evening to work with Bill on finding the best way to ensure the future security of the refugees, her legal expertise invaluable if they had to take on the Canadian Government over this. They all hoped it wouldn't come to that but should that be the case in the future they needed to make sure that nothing they did now created any unnecessary problems. These people deserved help, not vilification by others who had forgotten they were human beings.
So many who called themselves Christians seemed unable to extend the hand of kindness to another person simply because they were different and therefore deemed threatening, something Nathan found hard to understand. They were all God's children after all. Fortunately most of the people of Hope Valley were not like that and those who initially were unwilling to accept them were slowly coming around. He never thought he'd be saying a thank you for Eileen Handsworth but here he was doing just that. She had worked tirelessly in recent days travelling around the outlying farming community explaining to people how she had been wrong in what she wrote in her paper. Telling them how her unwillingness to find out the truth before making a judgement had blinded her to what was really happening. In her own way, speaking as someone who they knew well, she had answered the questions troubling them and helped dispel the many mistruths.
Hope Valley was really coming together as a community and he knew they would all be sad when the time came for them to leave. Possibly sooner than they realised. He stopped himself there, seeing how close he was getting to feeling sorry for himself, such a wasted emotion. So he picked up his step and channelled his thoughts to all the good things he had in life. He knew they were many.
In the Judge's office they had continued the interrogation. Lucas had sensed an increase in the intensity of the questioning since Nathan had left. It was clear that seeing the other man in pain was hurting Bill too. One of the things he had heard about Bill Avery when he first arrived in Hope Valley was how close he had been to Jack Thornton and how devastating his death had been for him. Then he had watched as the new Mountie in town slowly won first the respect and then the affection of the judge.
Anyone who saw them together immediately knew how special their bond was, each somehow filling a need in the other. For Bill it was a son after the loss of Martin and Jack, for Nathan a father he could trust after being let down so badly by his own. It had been yet another difficult thing for Lucas to watch as the two men grew closer, their relationship something he had never had. He wondered if his life would have been different had his own father lived. If Helen Bouchard hadn't controlled everything or Andrew Hargreaves had never come calling.
Suddenly he realised that Greg was saying his name. "Sorry, I was miles away for a moment there. Could you repeat the question?" Bill answered, "We were asking where the money came from for you to purchase the saloon and the large amounts you always had in your safe?"
Before he could answer Bill continued. "And there has always been one other thing that bothered me about you. We know that the situation with Amos Dixon was real but why did you resort to cheating at cards rather than just paying off your friend's debt?" Lucas smiled, not surprised by the question. In fact, he wondered why no-one had ever asked him that before. "None of it was mine. My mother had made a deal with Rocco Perri's gang in Hamilton and they bankrolled it all, with the promise that they would benefit once I became part of the Thatcher family. So I couldn't pay off Janette's debt as it wasn't my money."
Bill could understand that but then another question sprang into his mind. "But how were you able to lend Nathan the money when he set the trap for Allie's father if it wasn't yours?"
A look of satisfaction came across Lucas's face. "That was easy. In fact it was a win/win situation. If Nathan couldn't repay the money then he would be in debt to the mob, not me, which would seriously compromise his job as a Mountie. Even endanger both his and Allie's lives. If he did pay me back then he would feel indebted to me for helping and I would make sure I called in the chit on that at some point. As I said, I couldn't lose!" Suddenly a different picture of Lucas was beginning to emerge, someone who wasn't quite as useless as his mother made him out to be, although Bill doubted that he was capable of putting together a deal as big as what the entire RCMP were investigating right now. That required the support of the mobsters and few people had the nous to get that.
Allie was ready. She knew exactly what to expect from Mrs Bouchard and believed fully in what she had said to her at the rowhouses. When she thought back she was now convinced that she had seen Mrs Bouchard's true colours for quite a while before her final rejection of her dad but with her focus so much on the pain he was going through she didn't want to acknowledge it. In a strange way she felt that would mean she was undermining his feelings for her teacher and she truly believed they were genuine. Eventually she realised that it wasn't their own pain that was hurting both of them but seeing the other suffer. And Mrs Bouchard knew this.
Since they had come back to Hope Valley she had watched that same look of anguish at times on her father's face. Was he still clinging to the idea that she was someone they should all pity. That she was a victim of circumstances since her husband was so cruelly taken from her. He had always told her that the eyes are the window to the soul. That no matter what someone was saying or doing they couldn't hide the truth when you looked into their eyes. So now, as she walked into the room she looked directly at Mrs Bouchard, searching to find something that would tell her she was right. And then she saw it. After the shock of seeing her appear behind Mrs Gowan there was a change, a moment of confusion followed by a look of defiance then almost satisfaction, as though she had it all worked out.
But she didn't. Allie knew she would never be her victim again as she now understood the game she was playing.
Antoine had insisted that he was okay to remain on duty after taking a few minutes to talk with Bruce and Harold while Matthew was breaking the news of Gustav's death to Helen Bouchard. When the doctor appeared back outside he looked confused. "Well that was a surprise. After everything I had heard about the woman I really didn't expect much of a reaction from her but she seems genuinely upset about her nephew."
The Mounties all looked at each other in disbelief before Harold asked, "Are you sure she wasn't pretending, trying to elicit some sympathy from you?" Matthew nodded. "Well, it seemed like genuine tears from her and as I left Inspector Hargreaves was offering her words of condolence. They were speaking French so I could only pick out the odd word but she definitely said something about it shouldn't have happened to him."
Harold was surprised, in all the time he had been on duty in the jail she had never uttered a word to the occupant of the other cell, be it Lucas or Hargreaves, but he could sense the hatred in the woman. So he very much doubted this had anything to do with Helen Bouchard having a heart and more likely that it had made her realise how much trouble she was in and that she had lost another person who could have come to her rescue. "I can take over here if you would prefer, Antoine. It will have been clear to them as soon as you opened your mouth in there that you spoke French so they are unlikely to talk in front of you."
As much as he wanted to remain on duty here, to stay busy, Antoine knew his colleague was right. There was a chance that the death of her nephew would loosen Helen Bouchard's lips and some snippets of information would be learnt that would help the others with the questioning. He hesitated for a moment, thinking about how time seemed to stand still on this investigation, although they had uncovered so much in a relatively short period. Still, they needed to wrap this up and make sure they had everything required to put these people away before the toll it took on them all became too great. With a renewed determination he looked at his colleagues, "You're right Harold. Bruce and I need to get back to figuring out the links between all the players in this money laundering racket anyway so I'll leave you to deal with things here."
He turned to the doctor, "Matthew, thank you for taking the time to come and inform me of this yourself. But now, mon ami, you look like a man who needs sleep so get yourself home to your lovely wife and son." With that Antoine nodded towards his partner and indicated for him to follow as he started off towards the saloon.