Ch.5

Authors note: why do you have to sharpen knives with a wet rock

Arthur stared at the millions of seats before him, with only one of them filled.

It was just him, and Principal Bump, who was holding and reviewing his entrance exam. Man, it really felt like he was staring him down with that vampire tooth he had. And the fact that they were basically in an arena, like it was a circus act and he was the trapeze artist that they were cheering on to fall.

His Grandpa had taken the liberty of signing him up for Hexside, late into the year. Very late into the year. He remembered telling him he was just fine at home and even liked it there.

Instead of listening, his Grandpa pried him from his bed that morning at seven am sharp, hauling him to Hexside to fill out the paperwork for classes.

Since their location had been revealed they had even more of a target on them. How would going to a public school help any of that? Wouldn't that let them know where he was all the time?

Those were all the questions Arthur had asked, and his Grandpa had said that sending him to school and enrolling him in a track would let them think they were finally giving in, sending their kid on the path for a coven. Arthur imagined himself being on one of those recruitment posters for the emperor's coven with his fist raised in the air.

Yeah, that wasn't happening.

"Do you need more time to prepare?" Principal bump asked boredly, feeding his little devil costume hat some fire crickets.

Arthur wondered if the hat would lick like a dog if he had peanut butter.

"Uh." Arthur began smartly.

Principal bump sunk into his chair like it was going to be a long day, casting a spell that made four pedestals rise up from the stage.

Each one had a different item, a daffodil, a cauldron, an ominous looking crystal ball, and a kazoo.

"Look, I know what your Grandfather is aiming for and while I won't deny an opportunity for a child to learn and grow and have a safe place to go to…I also have other things to do. So pick one and see if you're good at it. "

Arthur's ears burned, he hadn't even done anything and this guy was acting like he sucked.

He angrily grabbed the crystal ball, maybe a little too tight and it shattered, releasing what sounded like screams of the damned.

Principal bumps face dropped,"And those took so long to collect too…"

This was Arthur's literal worst nightmare at this point. He had to cover his eyes from Principal bump because he got so angry he was starting to cry. Arthur hated when that happened, you should only cry when you're sad. But he guessed all that anger had to go somewhere.

Arthur snatched the kazoo up next, "You know what.." he mumbled. He didn't even care about this; he didn't even want to go to Hexside. And he didn't care if it looked stupid, he just wanted to get this done faster and not have to see Bump's backscratcher nails anymore.

He blew on the kazoo as hard as he could, strong waves of yellow magic blowing from the edge and blasting directly at Principal Bump who covered his ears, his weird sentient hat crawling off his head in pain.

Principal Bump peeled himself off like floor looking like Krampus day came early, "Congratulations, we have a new bard track student!"

Arthur blinked, "What."

"Oh I do hope you know how to play the drums- all we have are string players this year…there's no bass to any of their songs and it's absolutely boring."

"Hang on-"

This was not the plan, Arthur stared at the Kazoo in disdain.

"Oh- My apologies for getting carried away, now- Your second spell if you don't mind?"

Principal Bump seated himself politely and looked towards Arthur expectantly.

Oh.

"Well actually, I don't know a second spell." Arthur said smugly.

"Oh….what a shame.."

Arthur grinned, this would definitely get him out of going to Hexside.

—-

It did not get him out of going to Hexside.

Arthur listened to the teacher from the back of the classroom, crumpled up into a ball of shame.

"Well, now that we've finished the alphabet-"

"F IS FOR FIRE!"

"Yes yes Tatum you are right, F is for fire. I am glad that your memory serves you so well!" The teacher gushed at Tatum.

Tatum bounced in glee, the kids around him ducking to not get hit by his long horns.

Yeah, kids. Not kids his age, Kids kids.

Apparently not knowing two spells got you in a lower level class, that class being for basically toddlers.

He was on toddler level magic.

"Ok class, we're going to start our next project, paper sigils!"

The class all cheered, and when Arthur didn't, the Teacher gave him the stink eye until he forced out a half-hearted 'Woo-hoo.'

The teacher began passing out scissors and glue, dividing everyone into odd and even numbers to match them up in partners.

The kid he got partnered up with, Anthony, gave him a funny look, "How come you're so big?"

"I'm part giraffe." Arthur said with a serious face.

Anthony didn't talk to him for the rest of the project.