"I like hanging out with him is all... And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million years. Not with you around."
"What does that mean?"
"Spike's totally into you. Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike's completely in love with you."
Buffy's mind just went blank. She opened her mouth a bit, the only thing she could do. She probably looked stupid, definitely looked stupid to Dawn.
"Hello? Earth to Buffy?"
Dawn waves her hands in front of her sister's face. After a pause, Buffy says, "It's getting pretty late, we need to get home"
Buffy didn't say a single word about the information she just heard. Talking about the weather, the last book she read, she was just talking about anything.
Soon enough, the two got back to their house and reunited with their mother. Buffy explained where Dawn had been. She kept it simple, wanting to just be alone and think. She grabs a quick snack (which would be her dinner) and quickly goes to her room.
As soon as she closes the door, she runs to her bed. She's on her stomach, chin on her hands. This pose made her feel like a teenager, giddy and lovesick. Wait, lovesick? Giddy? She suddenly forced herself to not feel like a teenager.
The room was dark and cold, but the cold didn't cool the heat of her face. She kept on thinking; how did she not notice? He's basically always around. Why would he be if he hated her? Maybe he's just waiting for a chance to do something bad? He could do evil without using physical violence. But he hasn't really done anything. All he's done is bother them. That's just how he is. She thinks back to the time when he was telling her about killing the slayers. He tried to kiss her. She thought it was just him being pathetic. But then she said, 'It would never be you, you're beneath me." Maybe that just made him want her more? It wouldn't be out of character for him. Still, she thought, maybe Dawn's wrong? She could be just making it up. Buffy knew she was grasping at straws. Spike was in love with her. At least attracted to her.
Buffy rethought every interaction they've ever had. She's never even had an inclination that he even liked her a little. She guesses that when it came to Spike, she was busy thinking about the negative things. Well, he tried to kill her multiple times. Any other time, she would've gone on an internal rant at the mere thought of him. So, she tries to really think about her feelings towards him.
The opportunity to think of him romantically never came up. By a will of her own, anyway. Whether they were enemies, or she wasn't single and they were still enemies. There had always been a strong animosity between them.
Buffy could at least say he was physically attractive. That was never on the list of negative qualities about him. But he knew it. He could be arrogant sometimes. She would never admit it, but she enjoyed kissing him more than she let on. She nearly goes into a trance thinking about it. To stop the realisation from hitting her, she flips over onto her back.
She looks up at the ceiling; the familiarity comforting her. She felt more attachment to this room than to her dorm. Even more than her childhood room.
Why was he still in town? He could leave, so why hasn't he? She had asked him why many times, but he would always change his answer. The reasons were flimsy and temporary. Maybe he's still here because of me?
She admits Spike has done slightly fewer evil things lately. The good things he did weren't that frequent, but he did more than before. Had the chip really changed him? It wasn't a soul. But it was something that set him apart from other vampires.
He was also slightly charming and kind of cool. I'm starting to sound like Dawn...
Buffy starts smiling against her will. The cold is still ineffective. The fight in her head was tiring her. Maybe I should go to sleep before I go more insane.
Casually bumping into Spike wasn't her intention. Okay, it totally was. Her curiosity had peaked. A revelation like the previous night's couldn't just be forgotten. Knowing him, she will bump into him even when she isn't looking. The event a few nights ago proved that. He was just talking to her normally. Not wanting anything.
Spike rushed out of his crypt. He was clearly annoyed. Harmony walked out the other way, not noticing Buffy.
"Well, I don't want to know the details of that lover's spat."
He walks closer to her; she starts backing away but stops herself.
"She dumped me. For good this time. Finally found some other ears to chew off,"
Buffy thought he meant that literally, but then got back to her senses. She was distracted. She tried not to look at him, but she couldn't help it. "I was just going to apologise to Joyce about Dawn last night. I'm sorry. You know I'd keep her safe,"
Huh? What?
"It's not like anything happened. But you need you need to tell me next time. Who knows where Glory could strike next?"
He puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket. If she was done with patrolling and he was going to her house, then they would be walking together. She breaks the silence with, "Why don't I come in? I'm pretty sure she's out. You could do it tomorrow."
Spike looks her in the eyes and says, "You're being pretty suspicious, Slayer. Normally you'd be on my case about the little bit for a week at least. You normally avoid me, and now you're wanting to go into my crypt for no apparent reason?"
He was onto her. She looked away. Buffy started walking back and forth. The breeze blowing against her cheeks. The cold never works.
"Interrogating! Who knows what bad, evil things Dawn saw?"
"The bad, evil things I apparently have are completely hidden. She couldn't even find them even if tried. Do you really think there out in the open?"
He opens the door for her, but she's too busy to notice. She's goes in not paying any notice.
"It could be illegal!"
"I'm a vampire. A former blood sucking fiend. Do you really think I care for the law?"
She points her finger, "Demon law!"
"I mean, I care about the law if you care for the law," Buffy sits down on the first chair she could find. It's kind of uncomfortable. How can Spike sit on this?
She breaks, "Okay, so maybe didn't come here for that."
He smirks "Yeah, I could tell,"
Spike starts looking around for something. Buffy can't tell, he's the only one who would understand where anything is. After a minute, he finds what he's looking for. Nail polish.
"Look, I don't have anything on Glory. I've searched and searched. Tried my bloody hardest, too. And in case you're wondering, the chip, still in. Like always. And, if you're going to nag about Xander's change, I will give it back eventually,"
"Yeah, how long is that going to take? Weeks? Months? Years? Decades? Centuries?"
He starts putting nail polish on his nails. His hands…
"Soon alright? It's not like it's changed the unwavering hatred he has for me very much."
After that there's silence. Buffy watches Spike do his nails. It's relaxing. So, she blurts out, "Do you love me?"
He stops. She can't tell if it's because of what she just said or that he just finished doing his right hand.
Spike looks into her eyes. "Buffy, I... Yes. Buffy Summers, I love you."
"What?!" Dawn is more right about stuff than she thought. Maybe I should go easier on her...
"I know you think I'm lying. Believe me, I didn't believe it at first either. I do love you. If that means turning my back on the whole evil thing, then I will. You'll deny it but I know you feel something too. Even just a tiny something."
Buffy doesn't answer. Why am I so nervous? If she believed that she loved him, then...
Soulless vampires can't love. He's probably just confusing attraction for love. She's the slayer. How could she love him? Even so, her heart is going to break her chest. She's blushing.
Isn't she a hypocrite?
He's different from other vampires. He might not have the purest intentions all the time, but he does do good. She doesn't know if she can fully trust him to always do good. But she's willing to try.
"I-" she says out of the blue, almost scaring herself. "I feel for you. It's not love. Not yet. It could be eventually if..." Spike puts down the nail polish and moves closer to her.
"That's enough for me,"
She didn't know who leaned in first, but it was probably her. Buffy puts her hand on his cheek. He puts his hand on her left shoulder, the other tangled in her hair. Her breathing changed not knowing to breathe slower or faster. It was like she was about to have her first kiss. They kiss, softly and gently. It felt new yet familiar. Like they had both been wanting this longer than they both knew.
Her feelings of giddiness returned. The emotions being better than the kiss itself. She wraps both her arms around his neck. Their lips separate only to return for a second kiss better then the last.
The two continue for a time they don't keep track of, frankly they don't care. Just a week ago she would have never imagined she would be kissing Spike. Surprises lead to the best outcomes, sometimes at least.
Buffy arrives back home. It's not as late as she expected it to be She opens the door to see Dawn standing right there.
"Isn't it past your bedtime?"
She scoffs, offended from that question. Why does she get annoyed with everything I say?
"It's only 1. I'm a teenager, I don't need a bedtime. Plus, I've been waiting for you."
Dawn leads her to the couch where they both sit. Her mother had gone to bed early. She was unaware of her youngest being up so late. Which normally meant she was up to no good.
"Waiting for me? What for?"
"To get the details of your romantic evening with Spike obviously!" How does she know about that?
"What are you talking about?"
She claps her hands together. She's filled with joy. Buffy hasn't seen her this happy in a while.
"You really expect me to believe that you didn't go talk to him after last night? You ran straight to your room blushing. And there is black nail polish on your shirt. I'm pretty sure vampires don't rise with wet nail polish," She's really invested in this. Buffy is glad that she likes Spike. Maybe not so glad that she's so invested in her love life but glad they're friends.
"I did talk to Spike and…"
"And?"
She leans closer eager to hear the next words from her sister's mouth.
"It was completely platonic. No romance in sight."
Her jaw drops. Quickly disappointed, she frowns. Dawn crosses her arms. She's angry, she did not buy her sister's story.
"I don't buy that. You can tell me. I won't tell a soul. Please?"
"No Dawn. Go to sleep. You need it to grow to be strong. More than you already are."
Buffy gets up and starts to leave. She smiles, looks back and winks. Suggesting to her younger sister what actually happened and what she wanted to hear. Dawn understands and she squeals so loud that it nearly wakes Joyce. Buffy furrows her eyebrows.
"Sorry!" She goes back to squealing. Buffy knew she would have to hear her sister's prying again. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.