Part 2
Author's Note: Sorry for the dark note this starts on, but it's kind of inevitable with them. But don't worry, things will work out ;)
~ Tirana Sorki
Anakin should have known things wouldn't stay as... light with any of the Obi-Wans as it was that night he stayed with Master and General. Master had finally, very grumpily, joined them in bed, grumbling about how it's more comfortable than the floor. No one called him out on the obvious reason – Anakin could swear he sensed a serious amount of jealousy from him, over the attention Anakin was getting from General.
He knows Obi-Wan cares for him on some level, but that was just... confusing. Strange.
But now, none of it matters, as he stands in front of the Council, hearing their decision when he already knows what it'll be. Padme gave birth to the twins – he can't believe he's a father now, or that she survived. Maybe the future Ben and Kenobi lived really is changing, after all – and... of course, their marriage came out. They gave him the offer to stay in the Order if he cut off all contact with his family, and of course, he turned it down without a second thought.
Even if it means... that he'll have to leave his master behind. It was inevitable, but that doesn't stop how much it hurts, or how much it feels like he's... failing him, throwing away all the effort Obi-Wan put into raising him in the first place.
He can't even bring himself to look at General; he can feel the disappointment almost tangibly already.
In some ways, it's relieving that he doesn't have to hide this anymore, but that doesn't stop the shame from crawling through him, as he leaves the Council chambers, for probably the last time.
He catches sight of Master a distance down the hall but keeps moving. He... doesn't know that he can talk to any of them right now. Except, he doesn't get that choice.
"Anakin," General's voice calls, sharply.
He stops, even if he doesn't want to. It's purely instinctual to obey orders, when he hears that tone.
"What?" He looks back, bracing himself. He knew this would... go badly; that doesn't mean he was looking forward to it.
"What were you thinking?" Master demands, crossing his arms. They're both here now.
It's somehow worse when they're both angry with him. It feels like he can't breathe, like the stormy rain of their Force presences is drowning him. "I know I broke the Code," he begins, evenly. He... doesn't even know what to say to them.
"And were well aware of the consequences," General interrupts, "Was it really worth this?"
"It helped me during the war," he argues. It had – something to look forward to, past the constant death, constantly fearing for Ahsoka or Rex, or whoever would be next, especially after he lost Echo and Fives. At least Padme, he didn't have to worry over. "I know I should not have, but I –"
"I believe we spoke of this," Master replies, sharply, "To be mindful of such attachments. I would have thought by the time you were Knighted, you would have learned to do so."
"He was Knighted because of the war," General replies, glancing at him.
The implications are obvious enough – because they still don't think he was ready, even three years as a Knight, do they? Maybe they're not wrong – or maybe it's that he never truly belonged here at all. It's a sharp reminder of – of that sheer worthlessness he often felt, when he was a padawan. He can feel his own anger rising, mostly an effort to ward off the other feelings smothering him.
"I suspected it," General continues, pinning him with that look again, "But I thought I could trust you to make the... responsible choice."
"When have you ever trusted me?" he repeats, bitterly, maybe a little incredulously, trying to ignore how much the words sting.
"More than I should have," Master says, "Clearly, I was right that you weren't ready to be on your own yet."
Behind them, he can hear other people moving closer – all three of the other Obi-Wans are watching them now. He doesn't know when they came in, but he – he needs to get out of here and just breathe. Especially if the others are considering interjecting into the conversation. It's ridiculous how much he just wants to cry.
"You always knew I did not – belong the Order," he replies, haltingly. It feels like everything he's worked for has been for nothing. "Right now, my duty is to... my children."
"You're abandoning your duty to the Order," Master says, and he nearly flinches.
"I know." He spins around, walking away without looking back. This – this isn't the last conversation he wanted to have with him, but there's nothing he can do. Other than apologizing or – or something, and he can't do that right now.
"Anakin," one of them calls – It's Ben this time, but he doesn't look back.
Even if once he's made it a distance down the hall away from them, he suddenly feels bad. He does regret having to leave his duty, and everything – but he just, he can't stay anymore. But he also feels no longer certain this is the right choice.
He just feels... confused, lost, and he hates how it feels like he's losing his master – all versions of him – probably forever, and – he doesn't even want to talk to him right now, either. He just wants to be away, but it's still like, like –
"Hey."
So much for getting away. He looks up to see Obi-Wan approaching, though something about the padawan feels decidedly uncomfortable.
"Are you... alright?"
Anakin blinks, totally taken aback at the question. "I –"
Obi-Wan shrugs, almost awkwardly. "I don't understand why you'd ever do what you did, but I – can tell they upset you." Why does he seem so squeamish?
"I'm fine," Anakin replies, tiredly, though it's... touching that he'd come to ask. He's hardly even spoken to the padawan. And it's just... no one does that for him. At least rarely. His master was supportive, sometimes, but other times...
Obi-Wan scoffs.
Anakin sighs. "I knew this would happen. It... was expected."
"Still," he argues. "You're angry."
"Hurt is... a more accurate term." Because that's true. He's not exactly angry. Obi-Wan is just doing his duty to the Order, the way Anakin always should have, the way he always tried and failed to do himself. Both of them have a right to be angry at him – all five of them do, actually, so he doesn't know why the padawan is talking to him right now. Maybe it's just because he doesn't know him as personally or understand exactly what Anakin's duty was.
Anakin sighs softly. "It's fine. I mean – it doesn't really matter anyway. I'm leaving. They're probably never going to see me again." He doesn't want to think about how badly that hurts, even if it's also something he's always known. If... he mattered to Obi-Wan, he'd come after him, anyway. If not, then... he wouldn't. "Why are you even here?" He asks it curiously, more than anything else, because he doesn't really understand it. Obi-Wan wasn't... exactly the kindest to him when he was a padawan. Anakin still remembers that. He hadn't wanted Anakin, period.
"Everything here is different," Obi-Wan answers, after a pause, "Master Qui-Gon is... gone, and you're the only one I know."
From the emotions Anakin picks up on, he thinks it's more that... he's the only one who said anything to Obi-Wan about how he did lose everything, and no one's tried to help him. Something he's... trying to return, then? "How are you settling in?" Anakin asks.
"They're going to Knight me now," he replies, "They don't see a reason to give me a master, and I did help defeat Maul."
"Permanently this time, I should hope." It's still beyond him how Maul survived the first time. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka both got back from Mandalore, only for Ahsoka to hear the rumors about how he was going to be thrown out. She said she'd wanted to stay around and talk to him again, later.
"I fail to see how my counterpart neglected to confirm a body," Obi-Wan grumbles.
"He did fall down a melting pit."
"Especially then."
"Well, I wasn't there. I don't know."
"He shouldn't be getting out this time. He seemed rather... concerned when I mentioned there were five of me now." He looks more than a little amused about that.
Given that his master cut Maul in half, or... something, Anakin's not overly surprised about that. "He will have no way of escaping, especially not with all of you here." It's one more Sith gone, at least, and now there's just Dooku, who's surprisingly agreed to hold peace talks with the Republic. How long that will last is a different story.
"Would you like to spar?" Obi-Wan asks, out of nowhere.
"Are you certain? I consistently defeated my master when I was still a padawan," Anakin tells him, dryly.
"Really," he replies, dubiously.
"Yes." Even if his efforts to do so were something he was often lectured for, and he still doesn't understand why.
"Why don't we see, then?"
Anakin leads the way to the training area, finding himself automatically walking to the place he and General... usually did this in the past. It hurts, being in here again, knowing that he'll probably never be with General again, but he tries to focus on this Obi-Wan instead.
"Are you ready?" Anakin asks, a lightness he hasn't felt in a while filling him, as they draw their lightsabers.
Obi-Wan makes the first move in response, attacking him. It catches him slightly off-guard – normally, it was the other way around, and Anakin quickly realizes it's because this Obi-Wan is using the same fighting style that he does. He isn't skilled in Soresu yet; to win, he'll have to take that into account.
It's still not much of a challenge, though, not if he's actually trying. It doesn't take long before he sends Obi-Wan's blade flying from his hands.
"It's over," Anakin tells him, cheerfully.
Obi-Wan huffs, standing. "How did I train you to this level, then?" he asks, grumpily.
"I... always focused much on my lightsaber skills," Anakin answers. He'd always pushed himself far beyond what the Jedi had to know – he had to be the best he could be. (He had to be able to destroy, to kill like he was apparently born to do, as the Chosen One, no matter how much he... hated that label.)
"Hmm," he says, still sounding unhappy – clearly, he's feeling very sore about losing so easily, "I can see how you could have already trained a padawan."
He... doesn't know what to say to that, abruptly remembering General and Master saying how he wasn't even ready to be a Knight yet. It's jarring to hear the opposite in the same voice.
Obi-Wan eyes him. "I'm just surprised you caught up so fast, when you started so late."
"It... was not easy."
"You're really going to leave?" he asks, after a pause.
It hurts to say yes, but he doesn't have much choice. "Yeah." He turns away. "I have a family outside the Order. I know that's not something you can understand, because you never had one, but I did. I had my mother, and I could never forget that. I always wanted that again. I always wanted to get her back."
"Is that where you're going now?" Obi-Wan asks.
He has no idea what happened, and a sharp rush of grief floods him at the words. Even if he's long accepted that she's... gone. "She's gone," he replies, quietly.
"... Oh."
Anakin suddenly senses more of the Obi-Wans approaching – the wild, iciness of their presences tell him which ones, moments before Ben and Kenobi step into the room. He stiffens instantly, crossing his arms. This... was something he hoped to avoid, though he doesn't know why they're here. They don't look upset, but that doesn't necessarily mean much. "Do you... need something?"
The two exchange a glance. "To speak with you," Ben replies, glancing around the room. He and Kenobi are both radiating a strange amount of longing and grief, at the sight of it. Anakin still wonders what happened.
"We're a little preoccupied," Obi-Wan replies, crossing his arms as well.
"It's... alright," Anakin says, deflating, even if he doesn't know if that's really true. It depends what they want.
"Privately?" Kenobi presses, giving the padawan a pointed glance.
"Since I'm you, whatever you have to say couldn't be a secret from yourself, right?"
"I could not have acted like this as a padawan," Ben says, flatly.
"I can't imagine being like that as an old man," Obi-Wan shoots back.
"It's about your... conversation with the other two," Kenobi says.
Anakin stiffens.
"I know they... upset you," he begins, almost uncomfortably. "And I know that once, we... had similar conversations."
"And you never noticed it hurt him?" Obi-Wan guesses, receiving an unimpressed look from them both.
"Yes," Kenobi concedes, reluctantly.
That's not what he expected to hear. "It... I... it's fine," he manages finally, even if it's not. He genuinely has absolutely no idea what to say to that. It's caught him entirely off-guard – Obi-Wan has never apologized for anything, and he's never needed to. That was just... a fact of life.
"Seeing as you are willing to leave the Order, I cannot believe that," replies Ben.
"I already explained why," he says.
"That... is not what I mean," Ben answers, slowly. His presence seems strangely stormier than it did earlier, like he's upset about something, though not at Anakin. At least he doesn't think so. "I know I... made mistakes when I was raising you, but I do not know where."
What – "I know you... did your best," he offers, warily. Where is this attitude coming from? What happened in the future?
"Not enough," Kenobi replies, staring at him with that disturbing intensity again.
"I have considered if... perhaps Master Yoda would have been a better teacher for you," Ben says.
Yoda. Anakin knew him, and he respects him, and trusts him, but he can't imagine that. "He wouldn't have had time," Anakin blurts out, finally. When he came to the Temple, he was so far behind, Obi-Wan had to spend a very long time with him together and alone so he could try catching up. No one else would have done that for him. Only Obi-Wan could've given him what he needs. He knows that. He's grateful for that. He couldn't ask for anything more.
"Perhaps not," he concedes, "But I still believe it may have been better for you."
"Why – why are you questioning this now?" Anakin asks.
They exchange another glance. "Much... changed between us in the future," Kenobi offers, after a pause. He's radiating a strange amount of guilt.
Anakin frowns. "You said I was... gone." He assumed that meant dead, and that it happened... probably around now. But he doesn't know that, he supposes.
"Before that," Kenobi replies, vaguely. It's like he's avoiding saying something – hiding something again, and Anakin doesn't like it. "After everything fell, I had years to reflect on... the past. I knew you must have been... upset about things, but I never had the chance to... ask."
"I – can't speak for the... version of me you knew," he objects.
"No," Ben agrees, "But we still raised you the same."
Anakin shifts, uncomfortably. What do they want to know? (Closure for whatever happened, he knows, and he doesn't know if he can give it to them. Doesn't even know what happened.) "I... don't know exactly what happened," he answers slowly, "I know you deserve to find... closure, but I'm not him."
Ben reaches for him, and Anakin tries – but doesn't quite manage – to suppress the instinctive twitch to back away from it. He still doesn't fully trust them. Ben's hand drops to his side again, and he looks... almost stung.
"You are –" he seems uncertain how to phrase whatever he's trying to.
"Making him uncomfortable?" Obi-Wan offers, "Clearly."
"Are we?" Kenobi asks – he sounds disbelieving, hurt, and confused at once.
It only makes Anakin feel guilty. "You're... different," he says, finally, "You're nothing like General or Master."
Ben smiles, mirthlessly. Bitterly. "Yes. Much has changed."
"What... happened?"
"It doesn't matter," Kenobi replies, after a pause, "You are here now."
His master would never have said something so... emotional about their attachment before. He doesn't know what to say to that. "But I'm... leaving," he points out, lamely.
"To Naboo, I assume?"
He nods.
"Would you... have objections if we were to come with you?"
Anakin blinks. "... What? Why would you... do that?"
"I have not lived as a Jedi in many years," Ben replies, "The galaxy now is no longer the place I knew."
What? "You're leaving the Order?"
"I left it long ago, when it fell," Kenobi interjects, "I would like to remain with you."
"I – If you want to. Of course, you can come." He has no idea what to think of this. They want to come with him?
"I can't believe this," Obi-Wan says, almost incredulously.
"We have been apart for years," Ben says, ignoring the padawan entirely, "You may not be the Anakin I remember, but you are still him."
He gives them a small smile – he doesn't know what more to say, but it feels... easier now, that he knows there's still some version of his former master who wants to talk to him.
**w**
He doesn't talk to Master and General again before leaving. The empty ache inside him doesn't fade, because even if he has other Obi-Wans, they're still not his master, the one who actually raised him, and he doesn't know if he'll ever talk to him again. Anakin can't... bring himself to go find him right now, either.
He tries to keep his focus on the future awaiting him on Naboo, instead. He'll finally have the family he always dreamed of having. (He just wished it didn't mean losing his master to do it, even if it was inevitable. Even if his master so often acted like he didn't even want him. But after seeing the way the two older Obi-Wans are now, it... makes him wonder again.)
They're on Naboo together now, and Ben and Kenobi are living a short distance from where Anakin and Padme are. By appearances, they're surviving living together, too. Considering how General and Master were, Anakin finds it impressive. Thoughm to be fair, appearances are deceiving, and he wouldn't really know.
Rain is calming. It always is, and with the twins sleeping soundly, Anakin steps outside to take a few minutes to just... be. The falling rain reminds him of Obi-Wan in so many ways, it just feels so... similar. It's soothing. Grounding.
What surprises him most is when Kenobi comes out to sit with him.
"I thought you didn't like rain," Anakin asserts, side-eyeing him.
"I haven't seen it much in a while," he replies.
"Yeah," Anakin murmurs, "Tatooine isn't the best place for it. But still." Rain was always one of Obi-Wan's biggest complaints during the war. Anakin always thought it was funny. He still does – he can't imagine why someone would have a problem with being wet. Especially because of how similar to rain Obi-Wan feels in the first place. It really is kind of amusing.
Kenobi glances at him, as if uncertain about something. He does that a lot, to be fair, like he's seeing someone else, or at least expects to. "It certainly is not an ideal place to live."
"We managed," Anakin replies, shrugging, "It could've been worse."
"I... saw much of the life slaves had on Tatooine. I never realized how... hard it must have been for you there."
It's strange to think of him knowing anything of that life, beyond what Anakin's told him. "I had my mother. Many didn't even have that," he says, quietly.
"No," Kenobi agrees, "Tatooine was... not exactly as I thought it would be."
"It's a dustbowl," Anakin replies, smirking.
He huffs. "Yes, it is. And an unpleasant one at that."
"No dustbowl could be pleasant," Anakin tells him, flatly. Geonosis was hardly any better. It doesn't help that he, Obi-Wan, and Padme nearly got killed there, and later on, he nearly lost Ahsoka, not to mention the countless clones killed when fighting there. If he had been there any longer, he could almost dislike it as much as Tatooine. Almost. "Where were you living there?"
"On the outskirts. A distance from Owen's farm," Kenobi replies. That he even knows the name catches Anakin slightly off-guard.
"I... imagine that would have been a good place to hide."
"It was," he agrees, "No one would have thought to search the caves for a Jedi."
"A cave?" Anakin repeats, dubiously, "You lived in a cave?"
"It was the simplest accommodation and couldn't be traced."
True, but... "What did you do during sandstorms?"
"I stayed in the back," he answers, "The opening was large enough that I did not get buried. But I can fully understand your dislike for sand now." Something about the wildness he was radiating before isn't quite as prominent anymore. It's... settling out, into something that seems almost more open than General and Master ever were. It's strange.
Anakin shudders at the thought. He nearly died in a sandstorm himself once. Or could've, anyway. He and his mother were outside and... yeah. It wasn't pleasant. And that's not counting how he knew someone who died in a storm, or how slaves often were caught in them, and... he knows more about it than he wants to.
"At least out there no one would've found your lightsaber either," Anakin comments, reflectively.
"I did not have it with me, regardless," Kenobi replies, "I left it in the dunes a distance away."
"... Why? What if someone else unburied it there?"
"Unlikely. No one came out that far."
"What if a krayt dragon ate it?"
"What could a dragon possibly find filling about a lightsaber, Anakin?" Kenobi asks dubiously.
"It could disturb it's hiding spot and a Jawa could take off with it," Anakin offers.
Kenobi huffs. "There were enough Jawas stealing my things in the cave. If I had my lightsaber there, they definitely would have taken it."
"I still can't believe you were willing to put it down." Obi-Wan is the one constantly lecturing him about how his lightsaber is his life, after all.
"It was necessary," he replies, grudgingly.
"But your lightsaber is your life," he says, in the best mimicry of his master's tone he can manage.
Kenobi gives him an unimpressed look. "I do not talk like that."
"Yes, you do. You literally hear yourself talk. How couldn't you know that?"
"I hear it enough to know that's untrue," he replies, stubbornly.
"What did you do when you needed a weapon?"
"I had a blaster for a reason."
"A blaster?" Anakin repeats, "But – a Jedi does not carry a blaster, Anakin. They are so uncivilized."
"Why did I ever miss you?" Kenobi asks, grumpily.
"I don't know."
**w**
Getting used to life on Naboo is simultaneously easier and harder than he thought it would be. He's never felt this at peace or free before. He doesn't think he truly understood what that word could mean until now.
Except sometimes, there's this restlessness crawling under his skin, this itching desire to be... doing something. Like fighting. Going on missions to help people.
Fixing people's ship for a job hardly defines as that. It feels like he ought to be doing more, even if he just wants to raise Luke and Leia away from it all. Padme tells him he'll get used to it – she's having a similar problem, being so suddenly out of politics – but it's still difficult. Ahsoka's been visiting too, and she says she had a similar problem at first, but she... got used to it eventually. (He misses his master.)
Ben and Kenobi are changing a little too. There's something about Ben that feels more... alive. Anakin didn't truly realize how dead he seemed until now.
"You seem... agitated," Ben notes, eyeing him.
He's just been standing there watching him work on ships for a while now. He often does that; it's... unnerving sometimes. But it seems to be his way of trying to grow accustomed to having Anakin around him again. (He can't imagine being without Obi-Wan for twenty years. It's no wonder this is... difficult for him.)
"It's different here, than what I'm used to," Anakin admits.
"It's what you wanted," Ben comments, dryly.
"I do," he replies, "But I still want to help people. I... want to do more. Even if not right now." He doesn't understand the flicker of... something that he sees in Ben's eyes. Like he's forgotten what Anakin used to be like or something. It doesn't really make sense. "How did you get used to it?"
"There wasn't much choice, not when any help a Jedi could offer would be used against them." That bitterness is there again, but it's not as sharp and prominent as before.
"What did you do?"
"I found jobs, like you are now."
"That didn't involve ships and flying, I assume," Anakin replies, dryly.
"Definitely not," he answers, with a huff.
He can't help the laugh that escapes him. "You could get used to it here, if you want."
"... I decline that offer."
"Are you sure?" he asks, only to see the glare Ben gives him.
Anakin grins, turning back to the ship he's working on.
"You're... happy here," Ben comments, after a long pause.
The oddness of the comment catches him completely off-guard. "Yes," he agrees, uncertainly. What's his point?
"You were nearly always cheerful at the Temple, but it did not seem as genuine as it does now."
Oh.
Oh.
"I..." Anakin shifts, looking down. He doesn't like thinking about it much, especially because it makes him miss his Obi-Wan. "Being at the Temple was never easy. It was... lonely."
"I knew you never fit in well," Ben says, "But I did not realize it was that difficult for you."
"That wasn't your duty," he replies, unable to meet his gaze, "You were my master, and I know you – you did the best you could."
"I never noticed you struggled with it that much."
Truthfully, he doesn't understand how Obi-Wan couldn't've seen it long ago, but again, it wasn't his duty. He can't stop remembering him mentioning how he shouldn't have trained him, though, and that's... "I know you mentioned it being better if someone else had trained me, but I... I cannot imagine it any other way, than it was." Obi-Wan was so much more than his master, but he doesn't know if he can say that.
"We were more attached than we should have been, yes," Ben finishes, something unreadable in his gaze. "That is what I mean."
The words sting, probably more than they should. He doesn't think he's saying he regrets training him, but with all these versions of him around, sometimes Anakin can't help remembering, in the beginning, when they first met.
"I – I do not understand," he says, finally, bluntly, "I know we should not have been... attached. I understand why you always kept me away. But you are here now, and that –" And if Ben's upset about their attachment, he doesn't see why.
Kenobi is far more open than he used to be, so he doesn't understand why Ben is so different.
Ben is strangely quiet for a long moment. "I... have never wanted to shun our attachment as much as I should have, either, even if it was the Jedi way."
It was obvious enough, but it's different to hear his master admitting that he's... not able to stick to the Jedi Code as much as he would like. "We aren't Jedi anymore," Anakin points out, quietly.
"I suppose not," Ben concedes, reaching out to touch him again.
It's not as disturbing as it once was, but the possessiveness in that grip is still... unsettling. "Are you alright here?" Anakin asks, hesitantly.
"Yes," he assures, "After everything fell, I did not think I would ever have this chance again."
Sometimes, Anakin wonders if he'll ever get the full story behind that. There's still more that they've never said. He knows it. But maybe... it doesn't really matter. What happens now will be different.
Even if he can't be entirely sure Master and General aren't going to spend a long time without him. He could try talking to them, maybe, but if they wanted to speak with him – even had the time to – they would have done so already.
Besides, he shouldn't distract them from their duty. It's... like what Ben was saying. (Even if it hurts.)
At least he has two of the Obi-Wans here, even if they aren't exactly the two he was expecting.
**w**
"Didn't mean to take so long to show up," Obi-Wan says, when he finally arrives on Naboo. It's been a couple weeks now, and Anakin's not exactly surprised to see him, even if he wasn't expecting it. "But I've been busy with missions."
"They Knighted you," Anakin observes, noticing his missing padawan braid.
He nods. "I thought I would stop in the area."
"I'm glad you're here," Anakin tells him, hesitating a moment before asking, "Have you... spoken with General or Master?" He just... wants to know how they're doing. Even if he probably has nothing to worry about.
"Briefly. They are annoying."
He can't help a smile, even if thinking about them hurts. "I can't understand why you cannot get along with yourself."
"They are not me," Obi-Wan says, grumpily. "Not anymore."
"Maybe not, but still," he replies. It really doesn't make sense to him, but then again, most things about Obi-Wan don't.
"What are you... doing here?" the former padawan asks, glancing around, as Anakin leads him inside.
"Fixing ships, aside from taking care of the twins."
"That's all?"
"I am... getting used to it."
"And you prefer just living out here, to being at the Temple?" he wonders.
"I do not know," Anakin admits, "I... want to raise the twins, but I miss being able to go on missions, sometimes. If you ever need assistance with anything..."
"Unlikely, but I will call you if I need to, when I am not on the opposite side of the galaxy."
It's right then that one of the twins starts crying, which promptly wakes the other one up, too, and he hurries into the room they stay in, to check on them.
Obi-Wan trails after, watching like he's unsure if a bomb's about to go off. "What's wrong with them?"
He can always tell from the way they reach outwards with the Force, projecting what it is they want without even realizing. "They're hungry," he replies, going to collect bottles for them. "Would you like to... help?" Because he couldn't easily feed and hold them both at once, unless he used the Force to hold the bottles.
"I've never taken care of younglings before," he replies, warily. "How do you know how to?" It's not something they have any experience with at the Temple – all the youngest younglings are kept in a completely separate part than the padawans and masters.
"I... have always known. On Tatooine, my mother would help other families with the children if we could." He always remembered that. It was one of the few things that made him feel calm, that made him happy, because he was still able to help people even if he and his mother had so little themselves. That's always been what he cared about most.
Anakin picks up Luke first, holding him out to Obi-Wan, who takes him very cautiously, like he's afraid he's going to snap him in half or something. Or maybe jump out of his arms.
He picks up Leia himself, eyeing Obi-Wan again just to make sure he does know what he's doing.
"They are not that easy to drop," Anakin says, finally. Since when did Obi-Wan panic about such silly things?
"I've never done this before," he grumbles, "We never had a reason to."
"Well, now you have," Anakin tells him cheerfully, "And how can Jedi not know how to take care of babies? That's a very important part of life." Yes, he is intentionally trying to be aggravating. But still, it seems like something everyone should know. How can Jedi take care of people if they don't even... whatever.
"Not unless you're a creche master," Obi-Wan grumbles.
"Well, maybe I was taking the wrong aspect of being a Jedi," Anakin replies dryly.
"Maybe," Obi-Wan agrees dubiously, though he sounds very skeptical, and Anakin laughs. Talking to a younger version of his master is weird, but not unwelcome. It's easier somehow, to talk to an Obi-Wan that wasn't his master. Anakin still respects him, but it's different. It feels more like they can feasibly be at the same level.
It's difficult sometimes, but it's strangely freeing.
Just as much as being out here on Naboo, where he always wanted to be, even if Anakin very, very badly wants to talk to his own Obi-Wan again. He misses them both. He always will.
**w**
Obi-Wan is still there, some days later, when Anakin senses someone else approaching. The familiar sensation of rain washes over him, of – of his Obi-Wan. "Did you... invite them here?" Anakin asks, eyeing the former padawan.
"If I had, I assure you, they wouldn't have come," Obi-Wan replies, sounding no less surprised at their sudden appearance.
"That... is probably true." When it comes to another version of himself, Obi-Wan seems to be incredibly contrary, for some reason.
Nervousness growing inside of him, Anakin slips outside, watching as the two approach. He doesn't know what they're here for. It's a small measure of comfort that Obi-Wan is shadowing him. Anakin doesn't know what to think of the relationship they've formed, but that they can actually speak on even terms makes it easier.
General and Master pause a short distance from him, and for a long moment, no one speaks.
"Anakin," General says, finally.
"Master," he greets, quietly, "Why are you here?"
"We had time to stop by," Master supplies finally. Anakin resolutely ignores the quiet voice in his mind that very, very badly wants to ask if that was all, or if there was more than that – if it was just that they wanted to see him again.
"You can... come in, then," he offers.
It's awkward because they've never been in a situation like this before. He has no idea where things stand between them, and neither of them say anything immediately when they do come in, which only... makes it worse.
"How are things on Coruscant?" he asks, mostly to break the silence, but he's wondering too. "With Dooku?"
"As is expected," General replies, "The Republic is in chaos, but the war is over. We're trying to re-establish the galaxy, but it's... hard."
Really, Anakin knew that. The Republic, as it is now, isn't strong enough to do what the people need. Not to mention the countless ways it's not even trying. Or at least that any attempts at trying are being impeded by some way or other.
"The Order has... changed a lot," Master comments, and he doesn't seem very happy. The world he knew is entirely different, after all, even if not as jarringly as the others. "After spending so long fighting, many of the padawans have little interest in stopping."
Right.
Anakin always knew that would be a problem. He didn't know what it would mean for Ahsoka, either.
"What will happen to them?" Anakin queries.
"The galaxy has changed," General points out, "They will have to adapt as well."
"I'm not sure how far that can go," Anakin reminds, because it's the truth. Ahsoka for sure, he knows, couldn't ever truly step back from fighting. Temporarily, yes, like she did, but not permanently.
"I fail to see why padawans were on the frontlines like that in the first place," Master says, crossing his arms. He seems upset, but Anakin doesn't think it's about that. "Some are considering leaving." He can't tell if he's imagining the underlying note of accusation there or not.
Of course, it would come up again, and he... doesn't want to talk about it. Not after last time. But it's inevitable, and in the end, he's always the one who has to give in to – to what his master wants, no matter how much it sometimes upsets him. Except this time, he couldn't. Maybe that's why it's easier with Obi-Wan because their interactions are different. He wishes it didn't have to be true with General and Master, but – there's nothing he can do about that.
"I know you're upset, Master." He can't bring himself to even try to meet their gazes, not when there's two of them. "I know I disappointed you, and I haven't been very appreciative of your training. Your friendship means everything to me. But with my... children here, I could not stay."
There's a much too long pause of silence.
"I know you struggled with this," Master says, finally, "I only thought you would be able to overcome it eventually."
He wishes the words didn't sting so much. He wishes he could expect something other than constant condemnation from him.
"I... am sorry," he says, shifting on his feet.
"I know you are," General says, a little more gently, and Anakin looks up at him, uncertainly, "I will not pretend that I am pleased with your choices, but I am proud of what you did as a Jedi."
Anakin blinks, just staring at him.
What?
Even Master looks slightly startled at the... unexpected turn of the conversation.
"You were a greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be," General adds.
He... has no idea what to say to that at all; the most he can manage is an almost shy smile, past the confusion he's feeling over the change in attitude.
"I missed you," he breathes finally, even if saying so is a risk. "I know this was my choice, but I..."
"I know," General replies, "Though it has been different with you gone."
"You can come here whenever you want," Anakin replies, gaze darting to Master for a moment. He seems the most unhappy, probably because in his time, they were still constantly together. Anakin and General have been apart for so long, now.
"I will," General tells him, and he can only be silently grateful that he's not pursuing the topic any further.
"We have a little time to stay," Master says. Maybe it means they did just come here because they wanted to see him, though they were definitely busy. He... doesn't know, and he doubts it's something they would ever say.
Ben and Kenobi come to join not later, and they find themselves all together, with Anakin holding the twins. Master sits down next to him, and he can only hope it's a sign that he's not... too angry over what happened.
"Do you want to hold one of them again?" Anakin asks cheerfully.
"No," Obi-Wan hastily declines.
"It's that bad?" Ben asks, dryly.
"Are you volunteering?" he huffs.
"No."
"You appear to have no problem holding them both," Master comments, eyeing Anakin.
"I don't, but Obi-Wan appeared to need lessons how to handle babies."
"It is hardly necessary to know as a Jedi," General points out.
"Well, you may want to learn, as they grow older. They'll want to spend time with their... grandfathers," Anakin replies, lightly.
"Grandfathers?" Kenobi practically splutters.
"What?" Anakin protests, laughing, "It describes you and Ben most of all."
Ben looks seriously disgruntled at the claim but doesn't disagree. Likely, because there's little arguments that he even could give for that. He's nearly old enough to be Anakin's grandfather, at this point.
"It does," Obi-Wan looks amused, "I'll be their only uncle."
"I am not nearly old enough to be a grandfather," General objects, "Uncle is quite sufficient."
"You want them to call you Uncle General?" Anakin muses, trying not to laugh.
"Grandfather General sounds no better."
"And they are certainly not calling me Uncle Master," Master concurs.
"Then you should have picked better names."
"Uncle Ben would work," Kenobi replies, crossing his arms, "I refuse to be called grandfather."
"Maybe this is a choice they ought to make," Ben suggests.
"I don't think you want that, though it would probably solve the naming problem," Anakin says, smirking, "Because I'm most inclined to think they'll want to call you great grandfather."
And that was when the screaming really started.
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