Chapter 5: Chapter 4: November 1980
Summary:
Regulus has unhealthy coping mechanisms...
Remus loves Regulus.
James wants Regulus to love him.
Notes:
Here we go, a day early, happy Thursday everyone.
Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's got different character interactions, a bit of murder, the start of jegulus, all the right ingredients for a Regulus fic tbh.
I love reading through all the comments, so feel free to keep sending them in!!!
Might have next update up by Sunday, but will definitely be early next week if not xx
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
November 1980
Regulus wakes early and goes down to the kitchen, where Sirius is already up.
"Hey Reggie."
"Sirius."
They sit at opposite ends of the table in silence, sipping their cups of tea until Regulus says bluntly, "you look like shit. What problems are you having now?"
"What the fuck makes you think I'm having problems?" Sirius bursts out heatedly, but Regulus simply raises one eyebrow until Sirius sighs. "I suppose you know the significance of the full moon tomorrow, and Remus is just having a hard time with it, like staying in bed for days before and after the full moon kind of hard. They keep getting worse; I think part of it is annoyance that Greyback didn't die in the war, you know? He's just still out there even after all he's done" before he trails off and stares morosely at the grains of the table.
"I know it's your house, not his, and I know you'd rather him not be here, but I just think it might be nice if you at least talked to him, you know?" Sirius continues. "Show him that you don't hate the idea of him being here, get him a gift or something; I think it could help."
"You want me to get your boyfriend a housewarming present because he gate-crashed my house?" Regulus asks dryly. "You can all go home, I don't need a babysitter."
"Dumbledore wants us to stay since its headquarters –"
"Was headquarters"
"Is headquarters", Sirius repeats forcefully, "and that means I've got to stay here to manage the wards, which someone fucked up entirely."
Regulus smiles at the memory and says, "that was a good moment, I fucking hate Dumbledore." However, his brief happiness fades as Sirius protests, saying, "what's wrong with Dumbledore? He's been fighting this war for years, he's the greatest wizard of our generation", before tensing instinctively as Regulus' mood changes violently and the anger consumes him entirely.
He's thirteen, and he's coming back to school with half his face under glamours that he knows Dumbledore can see through but ignores.
He's sixteen, and he's being condemned to a life of servitude under the Dark Lord by the one person who could have saved him.
He's nineteen, it's been over three years, and the betrayal of it still hurts like it was yesterday.
"No" is all Regulus can say, he's too angry to speak clearly. His hands are clenching at nothing, the anger manifesting exponentially. If he casts a spell, it won't be something as harmless as a stinging hex, so he walks out of the room before he does any damage that he can't reverse.
"Reggie", Sirius calls out from behind him before an exasperated sigh and the sounds of quick footsteps follow. "Reggie, wait –"
Regulus decides then and there that he needs an outlet for the pure fucking rage he's feeling. Dumbledore always bought the worst out in him after all, and he still can't escape him even now he's been locked out of Grimmauld Place.
He's got no more Death Eaters to interrogate, and he doesn't know where they are anyways. He's long past torturing muggles, he hasn't done that since he was 16, and Sirius would never forgive him if he whipped out the cruciatus curse on Lupin or Potter.
Lupin.
Sirius' words from earlier flash in his mind.
Remus is sick.
Moons are harder.
Greyback.
Ignoring Sirius, who is still behind him, he veers off onto the third-floor landing, still disregarding Sirius, who is saying, "Reggie, what are you doing, don't, don't –". However, Regulus swings open the door to Sirius and Remus' bedroom without knocking.
His eyebrows shoot up as he sees Remus; he genuinely looks terrible. His skin is a pale grey, covered in sweat, and his eyes look glazed over with a fever. Regulus doesn't know much about werewolves, but he doesn't know if this is normal, if they go through this every month, he knows Greyback never did and –
Oh.
"Lupin, is Greyback the one who bit you? Lupin? Lupin?"
Remus doesn't even react, doesn't even show that he's heard him, and as Regulus leans forwards to shake an answer out of him, Sirius' hand locks harshly around his wrist. Regulus has put the puzzle pieces together though, so he lets himself be dragged out of the room as Sirius almost tosses him into the hallway, shuts the bedroom door gently and casts a silencing spell.
Then,
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!? I told you not to go in there, or did you need proof that he's sick? You probably made his migraines worse, and if they're bad when he goes into the transformation, his wounds are always worse, so –".
"I'm trying to help him –"
"And how are you going to do that?" Sirius asks heatedly. "Are you going to torture the pain out of him? Curse him? Hex him? Kill him?"
"Not everything I do is done with dark magic –"
"Well, I haven't seen any evidence of that so far; all I see is the exact son our parents always wanted me to be! So, prove me wrong. Do something for someone else, tell me, show me, just prove me wrong, Regulus".
Sirius is panting, the anger within him starting to simmer down, he's wondering if he regrets his words and should apologise, but Regulus never gives him a chance.
He's hurt and angry, and he doesn't want to be here, doesn't want to hear anything more from Sirius, so with a loud crack, he disapparates.
James comes down seconds later, having heard the fighting but is unprepared for the sight of Sirius sitting against the wall, head in his hands, crying.
"Pads?" he asks softly, trying to make out what Sirius is saying when he realises it's the same two sentences repeated over and over.
"He's gone, he's gone, he's gone.
I just got him back, and now he's gone"
Regulus lands in the clearing of a wood in mid-Wales, spelling his Death Eater robes and mask over his body, and he can smell the magic in the air. Evidently, the werewolves can smell him too, and the first two come out to ask him who he is, what he's doing here, and how he found them. Before they say anything or realise that he's a threat in disguise, the air flashes green, and they're both dead.
He feels himself getting calmer already.
More and more wolves come out, and Regulus keeps killing them until they get the message that he's not here to talk. Many of these werewolves are feral; they don't have a wand and believe that they are a creature of the forest, but Regulus doesn't mind. It makes them all that much easier to kill.
Eventually, the higher-ranking wolves start to come out who can use wandless magic and have embraced the nature of being a dark creature, but unfortunately for them, Regulus has also embraced his reality of being a dark wizard.
He tosses them aside like they're made of feathers and keeps waiting, waiting, waiting, until –
"Who dares to come here and incapacitate my pack?"
Ah.
The man of the hour.
Fenrir fucking Greyback.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Regulus calls out smugly; he must have taken out at least 20 of his minions without receiving a scratch. Yeah, he's young, still only 19, but he's powerful.
Everyone always underestimates him, and that's how he betters them.
"I'm a dark creature, boy", Greyback says. "You're going to regret having come here when I kill you".
Regulus smiles under the mask and says, "you're a dark creature, but you're not a dark wizard; you're only trying to be. It's in your name that you're grey after all."
"I'm a dark shade of grey, boy", Greyback replies furiously, but Regulus just smiles again and says ", do you know what's darker than grey though?" before removing his mask and relishing in the way Greyback's eyes widen in surprise.
"Black."
It's just him and Greyback, a few metres apart on the edge of the woods, and they're both standing still until Greyback lunges towards him, teeth bared, claws raised, and Regulus quickly steps aside. The bite wouldn't turn him, the full moon isn't until tomorrow, but Regulus doesn't doubt that Greyback would rip him to shreds if he could get his teeth into him. Plus, his teeth are yellow, and Regulus is sure they hold far too many diseases than he'd care to know about, let alone contract.
Regulus uses his magical strength, and Greyback uses his physical, but again, it's almost sad how easy it is.
A cutting hex here, a severing hex here, a –
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Greyback has clawed across Regulus' torso, leaving deep wounds already oozing blood, but he can't pause now even though he wants to immediately disinfect them. Greyback's nails are caked with mud, dirt, and now Regulus' blood.
Fuck indeed.
He's hunched over slightly, although the majority of the pain has been dulled by adrenaline, and Regulus brings his wand back up, casting a stunning spell that misses, a cruciatus curse that misses, and he's beginning to wonder if he's about to die when Greyback lunges forwards, clawing down his shoulder this time, and Regulus' body bind finally hits its target.
Oh, thank Merlin.
He reinforces the strength of it so that there's no way he can escape and is about to cast the killing curse when he stops.
Greyback doesn't deserve a death that kind.
He turned over one thousand children in the war; he deserves to suffer the same horror he caused so many.
Mind made up, Regulus transfigures eight rocks that he found on the ground into wolves that he then directs towards Greyback's body.
They start mauling him instantly, ripping away his flesh and swallowing before taking another bite. It's brutal and sadistic and undoubtedly a horrible way to go, but Regulus simply cancels the part of the body bind over his head so that he can hear him scream.
Greyback can't move, can't fight, can't do anything except lay there and take it until he dies, and eventually, he does.
All that remains are an assortment of bones scattered across the clearing, with the flesh licked clean off them.
Good fucking riddance, he thinks dizzily, his mind focusing on the blood loss he's still experiencing, but he knows he'll have healing supplies at home.
The job doesn't have to be neat; it's not like he doesn't have scars already.
He leaves his Death Eater mask in the clearing; he'll never wear it again and disapparates back to the front doorstep of Grimmauld Place.
Remus suddenly zones back into consciousness, his mind startlingly clear in a way that it never is before a full moon. He bolts upright from the bed he was lying in and only gets more confused when this doesn't make his head spin to the extent that he either throws up or passes out.
Sirius has been sitting on the bed, watching him, and all he blurts out is, "that fucker, he fucking did it."
"Who did what?" Remus asks confusedly, but Sirius just shakes his head, saying, "he did it", and then he's surging forwards to kiss him.
Half of Remus wants to ask for more details, but the other half of himself decides that it can wait.
Here's Sirius in his arms, kissing him, so why would he want to do anything other than kiss him back?
The wards chime 20 minutes later, and when Sirius reaches into the house magic, he recognises Regulus' magical signature.
Relief almost sets in until he hears James screaming his name with nothing short of pure terror.
James was in the garden, watching the world go by when he heard the wards chime to a new arrival. It's the same doorbell-style ring that he felt the night Regulus returned, so he went to greet him.
Regulus is… complicated.
James is used to being liked, and he's not used to being ignored, sneered at, or genuinely hated, but Regulus does all of the above simultaneously.
And he wants it to stop.
He doesn't want to be hated at all, especially not by his best friend's brother.
Maybe he wouldn't have minded as much if they were still on opposite sides of the war, but even during it, he once came across Sirius about a year and a half ago when he was just crying, holding a photo, and looking as though his heart was breaking more and more the longer he looked at it.
James' first thought was horror that he and Remus had broken up until he saw a flash of Regulus' young face, probably only about eight years old, as Sirius had shoved the photo into his pocket.
Sirius loves Regulus, he's his brother; there's no denying that, and James and Sirius do everything together, so it only makes sense that Regulus becomes like his brother too.
He doesn't want to remain his enemy, and he can't think of any other outcome of what he could be to him, so brother it is.
Except Regulus doesn't want anything to do with him.
James is nothing but determined, though, and he needs a new challenge now that the war is over, not that his help was apparently required. He knows that Regulus and Sirius fought this morning, but now he's come back, which is another positive?
At any rate, Sirius sequestered himself away in the guise of watching over Remus, so he goes to the front door to meet Regulus.
Maybe he can just say hi, and Regulus won't curse him; that would be progress. But does he say hi like he's happy, or should he say hi in the same dead tone that Regulus usually speaks with? Which one would he like more?
James hears the front door open and close and is mentally preparing what he's going to say when he enters the foyer, and the words get stuck in his throat.
Regulus is slumped against the front door, breathing heavily, and his dark black robes seem to hang off him like they're wet.
It isn't until he slowly looks up at James' gasp of horror that he realises it's not water that covers him. It's blood, dripping down his neck, through the rips of his robes, and forming a small puddle on the hardwood floor.
Regulus slides down the wall until he's in a sitting position, summons a little box that James can't make out, and then clenches his teeth as he shoves a needle and thread into his skin before pulling it out and pushing it back in again.
His sharp hiss of pain is what snatches James out of his trance.
"Sirius" he screams frantically. "Sirius!" before rushing towards Regulus, who seems to be about to pass out, even as he continues to dutifully sew his skin back together.
"You're not Sirius", he slurs out, and James realises that Regulus is evidently in a critical state if there's not even an ounce of malice or hidden insults in the way he addresses him.
"Sirius!" James screams again, relief settling in as he hears footsteps thundering towards him. He goes to wrap his arm around Regulus hesitantly to bring him somewhere comfortable and is surprised when he slumps into him, almost going limp.
"I need to stitch my chest", he murmurs before James can take the needle away from him, "I need to stitch my chest."
"We can do that", James promises, "we're good at healing, you're not going to die."
"I know", Regulus says nonsensically, "I would never die in winter."
James feels bad for laughing a little, given the severity of the situation, but it's such a ridiculous thing to say, and Regulus had said it with such surety that he can't help himself.
He starts to drag Regulus towards the sitting room, drag is generous, he's practically carrying him there, but he barely seems to notice.
James wonders if he's still conscious when Regulus murmurs out deliriously, "you're so warm," and despite knowing that it's the blood loss talking, James can't help but smile.
Sirius comes down the last flight of stairs shortly after, surprisingly followed by Remus, who simply chokes out a panicked "Reggie, no, don't you dare fucking die on me."
"It's winter", he repeats, like that explains everything.
Sirius hooks himself under Regulus' other shoulder, who gives him a crooked smile and slurs out "Sirius", even though the word comes out as one syllable.
Remus accioes the potions kit he always has handy for full moons, and Sirius and James lay Regulus down on the couch, who despite his delirious state, protests instantly, fussing about getting blood on the upholstery.
"Reggie shut the fuck up", Sirius says mindlessly before he gets to work healing his chest.
There are 10 cuts in total; two have been sewn up already, and the third has the needle and thread still hanging out of it. It was only two slashes from Greyback's hand, but they're deep and gruesome, and Remus sucks in a sharp breath when he recognises them.
"They're from a werewolf", he breathes out. "Not one on the full moon, but they're from a werewolf."
"What the fuck have you done, Reggie?" Sirius whispers.
He's not expecting an answer, didn't even ask the question to receive one, but he hears Regulus' quiet voice rasp through the air like he's shouting.
"I've proved you wrong."
Sirius doesn't know what to say to that, so he heals the wounds best he can and rubs dittany over them to reduce the scarring, and as he vanishes the remaining blood covering Regulus' torso, he blanches.
He saw the scars on Regulus' arm the day before yesterday when he walked in on him sleeping but hadn't been able to focus on much else after getting his blood boiled. Now, nothing stops him from seeing Regulus's skin, which is more pink than white.
There's no pattern, no consistency, except they all come in groups of five. He wonders if this isn't his first werewolf attack, and it saddens him that the ones he received today will only blend in.
It's his little brother; he's only 19, none of this should have happened to him, and as he grabs a pain potion and goes to pour it down Regulus' throat, a hand shoots out to grab his wrist, stopping him.
"Take the potion", he says, leaving no room for argument, but Regulus simply pulls his wand out and casts an unfamiliar spell that makes the vial glow yellow.
"Not poison then", he says to himself, and then he chugs it down in one swallow.
He repeats this process with two blood-replenishing potions that glow a bright shade of purple, which are also not poison, apparently.
He's healing fine, making Sirius vow to get some answers. However, as Remus slips another vial into his hands to give his brother and recognises the tell-tale sheen of dreamless sleep, he decides that answers can wait and eventually, he watches as Regulus' breathing evens out.
"What the fuck just happened?" Remus asks incredulously. "You said that Regulus had done something related to my symptoms. You didn't mention that he'd nearly gone and killed himself".
"He didn't", Sirius denies instantly, "he's not dead, and he's not dying."
"No, of course not, " Remus replies, "he's just sleeping, right?" Then he looks expectedly at James to get him to recount what happened.
"I, I don't know", James stutters out, even he can't make sense of it. "I went to greet him when I heard the wards chime, and he was just slumped against the front door covered in blood, and then he brings out a needle and starts sewing himself together. I don't know where it came from or where he came from, but, you know, here he is".
"Here he is", Sirius echoes, his eyes unmoving from his little brother's deathly pale face.
Regulus wakes up an undiscernible amount of time later and is confused to see an elegant chandelier over his head…
He doesn't have a chandelier in his bedroom…
His hand shoots for his wand, his war instincts taking over. One of the Death Eaters must have seen him after he killed Greyback, although he's sure he remembers returning to Grimmauld when a sharp pain slices through his abdomen making him wince, and Sirius' worried face floods his vision.
"Back the fuck away from me", Regulus says, "why are you even here". He looks around, and upon realising he's in the sitting room, he says with a hint of confusion, "why am I even here?"
He sees Lupin and Potter behind Sirius, because of course, and they all have mirror expressions of confusion with a hint of fear and concern.
"You don't remember?" Sirius asks, concerned.
"Evidently not if I'm fucking asking" Regulus huffs out frustratedly before he looks down at his recently healed chest wounds, muttering, "right, no, I do remember," and then walks out of the room.
Sirius reaches out to stop him, Potter and Lupin both look like they want to but are still too scared, but he simply calls out, "I'm getting a shirt; I'm not going to fight another fucking werewolf" before they hear his bedroom door close.
"So, it was a werewolf", James whispers, "in the nicest way Pads, what the fuck is wrong with him?"
All Sirius can utter is an honest "I don't know."
Regulus comes back down to the sitting room minutes later dressed in a collared shirt and slacks, which is still overdressed to be sitting around the house. Still, it's the most casual any of them have seen him.
"So…" Sirius draws out, prompting Regulus to begin, which he does, but it's not what any of them are expecting.
He looks at Remus and simply says, "Greyback was the one who bit you, wasn't he?"
Remus can tell that he's not asking because he's curious, rather because he wants him to confirm what he already knows, but it's definitely with an uncomfortable and loaded edge to his voice that he bites out "yes."
"Good.", Regulus replies. It's the day before the full moon, so his temper is already so high it's about to snap and have a go at him and tell him that there's nothing good about it when Regulus continues.
"Sirius wanted me to show that I value you being here or some shit like that, and while I can't say that I do, I suppose I'll have to make allowances given you're going to be my brother-in-law", which leaves Remus trying to figure out if he's being insulted or complimented.
"Thank you?" Remus asks, "Or sorry? I'm not sure which one you'd prefer".
"You can thank me for getting me your magic back before the full moon and leave the apology to me; you're the one who's going to be dealing with my brother for the rest of your life, after all."
"So, you did do something", Remus says slowly, eyes flicking between Regulus and Sirius. "Wait, did you do something with Greyback? Like the Fenrir Greyback?"
"Oh, I did something alright," he says smugly.
"What did you do? Did you do something to him? Did you give me his magic?"
"No, I just stopped him from being able to take yours."
"And how did you do that?" Remus asks, concerned despite himself. He's hoping Regulus hasn't made the target on his back even bigger until he hears the words he's been waiting to hear since he was 4 years old.
"I killed him."
"No", Remus says, shocked.
"Yes", Regulus replies, smirking. "Consider it a consolation gift for having to deal with my nightmare of a brother for the rest of your life".
Sirius squawks indignantly, but all Remus can say is "no".
"No", he repeats. "Is that where you went today? Is that what you've nearly gotten yourself killed for?" regretting his last words as Sirius winces again, but surprisingly Regulus laughs?
He clearly inherited the Black family's insanity.
"I've gotten worse for less and still survived. I needed an outlet for my anger anyways, so I tested my research hypothesis", Regulus says, still amused. "I was evidently right with my theory. Greyback was the one who bit you, so he could draw on your magic which he always needed more of during the full moon, and that's why you got weaker in the lead-up to it", he finishes, matter of fact. "But, Greyback is no more."
"So, you killed him?" James bursts out, stunned. He can't ever imagine killing someone, let alone on a random Tuesday.
"Not just him", Regulus replies unhelpfully; however, all of the others are waiting for more, and he huffs out annoyedly, "I killed all the wolves who tried to stop me from getting to him and then transfigured a bunch of rocks into wolves and let them maul Greyback apart until all that was left were his bones. Is that what you were waiting to hear? They treat full moons like a competition, who can turn the most people, and it's Greyback who orchestrates it. They all deserved to die, but Greyback didn't deserve a simple killing curse."
"Simple", Sirius scoffs in disbelief while James' eyes get even wider. "What if he hadn't been the right person? Not that I'm not grateful Remus is alright, but still, that's murder. Don't you feel bad?"
Regulus laughs again.
"You're cute, Potter, but I lost track of my kill count when I was 17; what's another one at the end of the day? Plus, even if Greyback was the wrong person, I still would've killed him in the exact same manner."
James should be horrified, repulsed even. He should be calling the aurors to have him arrested for literal murder, but all he can think of is Regulus' condescending voice bouncing around his head.
You're cute, you're cute, you're cute.
He wonders when the room got so hot and how he never noticed someone starting the fire, but when he looks at the grate, it's empty.
How weird.
Regulus is obviously unrepentant, and he's looking at Sirius, who seems to understand and be almost proud of him in a way only a Black could. He turns to look at Lupin, hoping he hasn't crossed a boundary that's going to leave him with more claw marks across his body.
Lupin is just staring at him.
Staring.
Staring.
Staring.
Until,
"I think you're my new favourite Black brother."
"Hey!"
A few hours later, Sirius and Remus are holed up in their bedroom, and James is unwilling to interrupt them, let alone enter in case he becomes scarred for life.
He also doesn't want to be alone, though, so that leaves Regulus who has disappeared somewhere in the house to process his murderous tendencies. Or celebrate them? James really has no idea.
In any case, as much as he doesn't want to admit it, he feels left out.
Sirius has had his brotherly bonding time even though it turned into a fight, and Remus has had the gift of murder which he apparently appreciates, but now James wants his turn. Especially since his last attempt to befriend Regulus was interrupted by him bleeding out in the foyer.
He wants Regulus to be nice to him, to talk to him, anything.
Well, maybe not anything, he doesn't want Regulus to murder someone in his honour, but he thinks it would be romantic if he saved someone he loved. If anyone saved someone he loved, he thinks it would be hard not to fall in love with them on the spot.
At any rate, he goes to find Regulus.
He's not in the library, the kitchen, or the sitting room, and even though he almost passed out today, he still slept until the early afternoon, so surely he hasn't gone to bed yet.
He goes to his room to try anyways, but just like the night of Regulus' return, he can't even touch the door; the wards are evidently still in place to keep everyone out.
For some reason, Sirius still can and still does enter, even if James doesn't know why. If Regulus defeated Voldemort on his own, he's sure he'd be able to design a ward to keep his brother out, but whatever. James isn't bitter or jealous that Sirius can go as he pleases, and James can't go at all.
Not much, anyways.
He hears footsteps behind him and turns around to see Regulus, the one person he wanted to see, except it's a bit awkward now that he's trying to get into his room, which evidently isn't letting him in.
"You won't get in", Regulus says, and James huffs out a frustrated "yes, I can fucking see that."
They're both just standing in the hallway, staring at each other, when James feels the air heat up again.
It must be Regulus' magic, he thinks. Maybe he's got so much of it that it just leaks out of him.
"What do you want, Potter?" Regulus sighs out.
He looks tired, James thinks. He looks a bit less put together, a bit more human, a bit softer and as terrible as it is, James almost wouldn't mind if he bled out more often if this is who he becomes in the aftermath.
Where the fuck did that thought come from? He thinks aghast.
"If you don't answer my question, I'm going to leave", Regulus repeats. He doesn't look like he's enjoying himself, but James supposes he's in a good mood if he hasn't hexed him yet.
"I just wanted to say hi?" James finishes weakly, wincing further as Regulus gives out a long-suffering sigh.
"Why would you want to do that," he asks bluntly, his face remaining emotionless; however, his jaw twitches as James keeps talking.
'Well, you're my best friends little brother –"
"My name is Regulus."
"Are you always this difficult to talk to?" James bursts out, "why can't you just be nice?" He thinks it would be easier to talk to his cauldron than Regulus.
Regulus laughs again.
"This is nice, Potter, take it or leave it. Now, do you want to talk to me as Sirius' younger brother, or are you going to talk to me as Regulus Arcturus Black because the former is going to leave you hexed, and the latter probably will too, if you keep this up."
"Keep what up?" James asks, unexpectedly affronted, "I'm making conversation."
"Exactly," he replies slowly like James is missing the point.
"One more thing, and then I'll leave you alone," James says quickly.
Regulus raises his wand in a silent threat as he drawls out, "this better be good".
James is wracking his brain, trying to find something good, something great even, but all that comes out of his mouth is, "where's my gift?" Then he tenses in preparation for the pain that, doesn't come?
Regulus is staring at him in bewilderment and simply says, "I beg your pardon?"
James is trying to find a way to get himself out of this hole he's digging for himself but figures the only way to go is forwards.
"You got Sirius and Remus a gift", he says, feeling like a spoilt child all of a sudden who's asking for more presents, "why didn't I get one?"
A tense silence settles between them, although James doesn't know why the question was so heavy. He doesn't recognise the look in Regulus' eye, doesn't recognise what emotion is causing his stiff back and tense body, still, he's staring at Regulus, unable to look away, waiting, waiting, waiting, until Regulus speaks.
"I already gave you one," he says through a clenched jaw, "and the fact that you took care of it is the only reason I'm not cursing you right now."
James is understandably confused, he hadn't talked to Regulus in over 3 years until earlier this week, and he definitely hasn't held onto anything.
"You never gave me anything", James says slowly, and he tenses again when Regulus' sharp eyes lock onto him.
"I did", Regulus says. "I gave you the one thing I wanted even though to give it to you would be to lose it for myself."
"I'm sorry, but I don't remember, so can you remind me what it was or when it was so I can –"
"Four and a half years ago," Regulus says, and his usually stoic mask cracks slightly. "You got your gift four and a half years ago", and before James can work out what that means, Regulus whirls around and shuts his door behind him. James reaches out in vain to try and get through to him, to demand an actual answer, but the wards still won't let him pass.
What happened four and a half years ago? James wonders, that's mid-1976, which would've been in the summer before sixth year, which is when –
Oh.
Summer before sixth year.
Sirius ran away.
James has always assumed that's what happened, that Sirius ran away. He's never wondered until now how he got himself across a room and through a floo to the correct destination when he couldn't even move.
He's never wondered until now if maybe it wasn't adrenaline that got Sirius to him.
Maybe,
just maybe,
it was Regulus.
Hours later, after he's finished staring at the wall and cursing James out in five different languages, Regulus is in the library. He's been reading, lying on the couch in a way that would have gotten him hexed if his parents were still around when someone knocks at the door and waits for his reply.
Evidently not Sirius, then.
"Come in", Regulus sighs, hoping he won't regret this, and oh.
It's Lupin.
"Why are you here?" he says blandly. He doesn't want to be disturbed after the day he's had, but Lupin isn't taking the hint.
"I wanted to ask you something about the war", Remus says carefully, immediately noticing how Regulus's entire body stiffens, his eyes flitting his way quickly, ready for a fight.
"Don't", Regulus spits out. "Don't you fucking dare. I swear to Merlin if Dumbledore put you up to this, I'll kill you, I won't hesitate -"
Remus doesn't know what Regulus' problem with Dumbledore is, but he evidently has one, and he's not keen to die today.
"I'm not here on his orders, and I won't tell him anything if that makes you feel better", he says, trying to diffuse the situation, and surprisingly, this makes Regulus laugh?
It's not a happy laugh, but it's a laugh nonetheless.
"Nothing makes me feel better, I fucking hate living", he says tonelessly, which admittedly concerns Remus, but figures that unpacking Regulus' trauma and emotions isn't going to work on a day like today.
He's hesitating slightly which Regulus notices, and this seems to anger him? Annoy him? Remus can't tell, but he knows he's not pleased with his presence.
"Ask your question and leave, don't ask your question and leave. Either way, fuck off."
"What were the objects that you put on the table?" Remus says before Regulus can retract his offer. He's curious, always has been academic, and has been wondering since he saw them.
Regulus isn't replying, simply staring at him, expression empty, so Remus elaborates.
"You know? The ring, the book, the ugly little tiara –"
"A tiara?" Regulus bursts out. "Did you just call it a tiara?"
Regulus doesn't look angry per se but rather offended, on the tiara's behalf? Maybe he shouldn't have called it ugly...
"It's a diadem", Regulus continues, "It is the diadem which belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw, and the look of it doesn't matter when there is so much history embedded in it, which has unfortunately –"
He's so different from Sirius, Remus thinks before saying, "okay, okay, I get it, horcruxes, not what I thought they were but alright –"
"Your half-bloodedness is showing, Lupin", Regulus says annoyedly. "A true pureblood would never interrupt another, especially when they're the one who asked for an answer in the first place."
"Sirius and James interrupt people all the time", Remus replies.
"As I said", Regulus says pointedly, "a true pureblood would never."
"You do realise that all of that blood supremacy bullshit is, well, bullshit, right?" Remus asks, enjoying the fact that he and Regulus seem to be getting on well enough, when "OW FUCK, your stinging hexes HURT!"
"I know", is all Regulus says, smiling sweetly, "your turn for questions is over; it's my turn now." Remus is wondering what he's gotten himself into when, "what did you think the diadem was if you didn't think it was a horcrux?"
That's it? Remus thinks confusedly, but out loud, all he says is, "I thought they might have been hallows."
"Like the deathly hallows?" Regulus asks, slightly disappointed. "They're a myth. How would Voldemort have tried to win the war with a myth?"
"All myths come from a story, don't they?" Remus counters, "so maybe he's the one who figured out where its origin was."
"Maybe", is all Regulus says in response, but the wheels have started turning in his head. He was nearly a Ravenclaw after all; he had to beg and plead the sorting hat to put him into Slytherin, too afraid to follow in his brothers' footsteps even though they would have led him to everything he wanted, so he's naturally intrigued by this new bit of information, this new possibility of finding more information.
He's all ready to kick Lupin out when he keeps talking.
Merlin, he'd forgotten how exhausting Gryffindors are.
"I also just wanted to say thank you, even though that's probably not the appropriate response for the whole, Greyback thing", he says, gesturing helplessly as he tries to find a nice way to say the man you killed a few hours ago.
Regulus evidently feels no need to sugarcoat things, as he says, "the man I tortured and murdered to spite Sirius because I was angry, you can say the words."
"Yeah, that", Remus says helplessly, amused despite himself, he didn't expect his murderous and psychopathic future brother-in-law to be this funny, even though he doesn't think it's deliberate. "You didn't have to, and even though you got hurt, I would never have expected, let alone asked –"
"If you keep talking, I'll remove your mouth. Now shut up and listen. I don't do anything I want to do, alright?"
"But why would you do that?" Remus asks, not quite understanding. "You don't care about me."
"Not particularly, no", Regulus agrees, "but Sirius does."
"What does that have to do with –"
Oh.
"You care about Sirius."
"No, I fucking don't," he bites out, but he's avoiding eye contact and looks remarkably called out.
Remus just smiles, looking delighted and says, "sure you don't, but if you did, I'm sure he'd like to know," and he keeps laughing through the eyewatering pain of the stinging hex Regulus sends at him.
"Bye, future brother-in-law", Remus calls out, and Regulus just slams the door closed with a wave of his hand in response, Remus' laughter still carrying out from down the hallway.
Lupin… Wasn't terrible, Regulus decides. He must be thick in the head to have chosen Sirius as a boyfriend, but otherwise, he's alright. He's no Barty or Evan, but he's alright.
That last thought pains him slightly; he doesn't know what happened to either of them, he couldn't risk making contact throughout the war, and now it's been two and a half years since he's seen them.
He'd never admit it out loud, but he missed them. He still does.
He represses that thought and focuses instead on what Lupin had said before about hallows? That's definitely something to research. He's heard of them for sure, but they're supposed to be a myth, a legend, a gift from death himself.
They're mentioned in a storybook that Sirius used to read to him when he was younger; it certainly wasn't his parents who told it to him, but he's never heard of any other sources of information, and now Regulus is feeling something that he hasn't felt in a while, he's excited.
A new research project.
He needed a new outlet after his whole defeat Voldemort plan got all wrapped up, and researching the hallows and tracing them down, if they exist, could be an excellent project to start on.
One golden locket led him throughout Britain to Voldemort.
He wonders where the hallows will take him and who they'll lead him to.
Notes:
The entire Remus and Regulus scene in the library is my favourite part of the chapter.
This is most of the set up finished, so getting into the plot soon, even if you don't quite figure out what the plot is until later on.
The next post-prologue chapter (chapter 6) is going to be quite long I think and it's going to be everything you could ever dream of so get ready for that xx