So, I did the thing again where I started binging a whole bunch of movies from my childhood and up pops Flushed Away and this was one of the few that was actually better than I remember. While I adored the story, all the characters, and the humor I was a little disappointed by the lack of romance at the end. I felt like they teased me with hints of it all throughout, but then nothing came of it. SO, here I am indulging myself and trying to get the ideas out of my head. Don't know how long I plan to go with this or if this will get any attention considering how long ago it was since the movie came out, but that doesn't matter to me. I'm here to have fun and hopefully bring along anyone else who happens to stumble upon this! Please do enjoy!
"Favorite shape?"
"How should I know? Probably a square cause she sure acts like one." This sly comment earned a few giggles and a fist bump from the group of preteens sitting at the two mouses feet, eavesdropping on their conversation despite Roddy's multiple requests for them to go play elsewhere.
Roddy sighed as he scratched off that question on his notepad. He nibbled on the tip of his oversized pen as he considered the next question he'd written down.
"Alright, how about favorite color?"
The young mice exchanged quizzical looks before the eldest, the one he had first gone to for this interview of sorts, said, "Wouldn't you know better than us? I thought you were her boyfriend after all."
Roddy chuckled awkwardly as he rubbed at his neck, the pen slipping from his fingers to plop into the boggy, smelly water beneath the dock they sat on.
Perfect. He scowled at the ripples and bubbles.
"W-well, I would, but you know how Rita is. She's usually much too busy to be trifled with such trivial questions."
The boy rolled his green eyes, reminding him perfectly of his oldest sister's. "I can ask her for you. . ."
"Oh! That would be great. . . if it's not too much trouble, I'd very much appreciate it." Roddy's shoulders slumped gratefully.
"But, for a price."
The older mouse smirked, unsurprised. "Of course, you couldn't possibly take my unwavering gratitude as payment, could you?"
A slow blink over a dry stare.
"Right. You wouldn't be a Malone without knowing how to haggle." Roddy grumbled under his breath as he dug in his back pocket for his wallet and pulled out the hard earned currency he'd spent years working as a waiter, a mechanic, and a janitor for. They definitely weren't the most glamorous careers nor did he ever picture himself pursuing them of his own free will, but they got him by.
Rita offered multiple times to split the money after cashing in her jewels, but he'd refused, having given them as a gift to her and her family.
Had he been a smarter man back then, he would've shoved a piece of jewelry in his pants before asking Sid to flush him back down the toilet, but alas he wasn't. Still, it as least taught him the responsibilities of earning his own income, allowing him to better appreciate the struggle the citizens of Ratropolis slogged through on the daily. Not to mention he'd hate for Rita to think she was dating a completely useless, whiny, stuck-up, pompous, big-girl's blouse as she so eloquently put it.
"How much are we talking? Keep in mind please, I'm on a tight budget and anything unreasonable will completely negate our deal, m'kay?"
"Oh, I don't want your money!"
"No?" Roddy glanced down at the child in surprise.
"No, there's a movie in theaters I've been dying to see, but mom and dad refuse to take me to see it. You take me and I'll make sure all your questions are answered."
Roddy's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I don't think your parents would take too kindly to me doing that and right now, I kind of need their approval of me."
The only approval he knew was set in stone was Granny Malone's as long as she continued to believe he was Tom Jones. Rita's mother seemed to have taken quite a shine to him too, but it was Rita's dad that he desperately did not wish to screw up. While saving his family from poverty and a great, smelly flood was all well and good, he was understandably protective of his daughter. Promising to break every bone in his body if he ever hurt his precious Rita and considering the guy had already done the same to himself, Roddy had no doubt the old mouse was fully capable of it.
"Psh, they're head over heels for you, I wouldn't worry about it. Obviously, we'd keep it a secret, though. Mom would ground me for a month if she found out!"
Roddy hummed as he stared at the remaining questions on his notepad. It wasn't like he was on short supply of siblings to ask. Surely one out of the thirty something supply of brother's and sisters were bound to know some of the answers to these things. . . then again, maybe not, Roddy thought as he remembered their earlier flippant comments.
"Fine," Roddy sighed and set down the pad and pen and spat on the palm of his hand, holding it out to shake. "You've got yourself a deal, squirt."
An overjoyed grin stretched across the kids chubby face as he returned the gesture, their hands shaking with a wet, disgusting squelch. He might not ever get used to this obscene ritual Rita had taught him.
"Pleasure doing business with you, mate." Grabbing his discarded notebook, the young mice took off into the wobbly, rocky house.
Even after all these years of living in that safety violation on stilts, it still surprised him how it hadn't collapsed yet. Of course, thanks to Roddy's generous donation, it wasn't nearly in as rugged shape as it used to be with all the old, rotted parts and furnishings replaced with new, quality materials. The aesthetic too had a complete 180 makeover with a fresh coat of paint, whole windows, and flower boxes filled with artificial flowers. It no longer looked like a house that belonged in the sewers, but up top with all the other fanciful architecture. It was still a work-in-progress, but it was getting there with every chipped tile and old wallpaper at a time.
Checking his watch, (made out of a bottlecap, paperclip, and a cogwheel) Roddy realized he was going to be late for his janitorial job at the elementary school if he didn't get a move on. Quickly scooping up his jacket and slinging it over his shoulder, Roddy speedwalked back across the docks, hands in pockets and mind in deep thoughts about Rita and the type of jewel that would best befit her beauty and rough personality.
It couldn't just be your normal, boring diamond. Oh no, she was much too interesting for that. Why, it'd almost be an insult! Maybe an emerald, to match her sparkling, green eyes? No, no. A pearl, like her creamy skin. Ugh, no. Maybe he should go symbolic and get her a ruby, to represent how they met?
Roddy paused on the dock as he considered this thought.
"No, too cheesy." And as much as he liked cheese, it wasn't fitting for this situation. He continued walking and musing. She needed something that both complimented her looks and meant something important. Something that the rest of the world could never match.
"Where am I ever going to find a jewel like that?" He muttered in despair.
"Pst, Milicent. Milicent!"
Roddy glanced behind him, but did not see any other life on the docks but himself. Was he hearing things? "Perhaps working a pinch too hard."
"Hey, down here. In the tin can!" The voice whispered yet again.
Roddy frowned and looked down and sure enough, there was a rusted metal garbage can with a pair of beady eyes peering at him through the crack between the lid.
The male mouse jumped back with a yelp of surprise.
"Relax, it's just me, Liam!"
"Oh, right." Clearing his throat, Roddy straightened the wrinkles out of his shirt and regarded the teenage mouse who had popped his head out of the opening with a grin. "Why are you in there?"
"Because, I don't want Rita and the others seeing me talking to you." The young, greasy haired mouse whispered with a paranoid scan over their surroundings.
"For the last time, I am not an international jewel thief taking advantage of your sister and family. And the name is Roddy not Milicent to you, mister."
This was probably the only one out of all of Rita's siblings that he remembered the name of easily. Well, him and Shocky. He internally winced as he recalled the most recent burn he'd received from that little menace. How he kept sneaking up on him, he may never know.
"We already explained this to you, multiple times! That was a thing Rita came up with to save her own skin."
"Uh-huh, that's what they all say." Liam rolled his eyes in disbelief.
The older mouse threw his hands up in exasperation. "I don't know why I even bother. Think what you want, kid. I'm late enough for work as it is."
Brushing past the garbage can, Roddy headed towards the little Jon boat tied to the pier Rita had given him for his birthday. Just a little something to help navigate the city quickly when he wasn't with her on the Jammy Dodger II.
"Wait, wait! I have a proposition!" The teenager shouted, the clattering of the tin can scraping against wood following him.
"That's what they all say." Roddy waved absently, not bothering to look back.
"You're wanting to find a ring to propose to my sister, yes?"
Roddy stumbled to a stop, heart stuttering in his chest. When he turned to look back at the young rodent, it was with narrowed, suspicious eyes.
"How do you know that?"
A single, black brow quirked up on that youthful, acned face. "Dude, favorite color? Favorite shape? Size of her finger, specifically the one between her middle and pinky? Doesn't take a detective to figure that one out."
Had I really been so obvious? Roddy grimaced. Perhaps he did need to work on his subtlety. He didn't want Rita figuring it out before he popped the question.
"So, what are you gonna do with this information, hm? Tattle to Rita if I refuse to hear you out?"
Liam pursed his lips. "Actually, I hadn't gotten quite that far, but that is a pretty swell idea. Alright, let's go with that one."
Him and his bloody big mouth.
Roddy sighed, "Out with it, then. What's this proposition?"
The teenager grinned widely, hands clapping together eagerly. "So, you're looking for a ring for Rita!"
"Yes, we've established this."
"Well, I happen to know just the place to look for one."
"I've already been through all the shops in this blooming city and they're either cheap, fake, or literal garbage." And after selling the other jewels he'd given her to feed her family, she deserved to wear something beautiful and priceless, just like her. Something she could show off to everyone proudly.
"No, no. This is the real deal! An authentic shop filled with high-quality antiques and one-of-a-kind goods."
An antique. . . yes, that was it! A antique ring would be perfect for his bride-to-be! Something vintage to represent her timelessness. Restored to represent her resourcefulness. Something with lots of character to represent her adventurous and exciting, personality. He couldn't think of anything more fitting!
"And how do you know of such a place?" Roddy inquired his girlfriend's little brother, resisting the urge to shake the answer right out of him.
"Eyes and ears everywhere, mate. I've got more connections in places than you could ever dream about."
Roddy felt skeptical as he recalled the time he had accidentally overheard the troublesome mouse's plan to sell him out to The Frog those three years ago. Even though he knew Liam was just a kid trying to protect his family in his own backwards, unhonorable way, he still found it hard at times to forgive the rascal for nearly ruining both his chances at getting home and his relationship with Rita.
"How do I know this isn't just another diabolical scheme you cooked up to get rid of me again?"
"Oh, come on! I wouldn't do that to you."
Roddy crossed his arms and settled his weight on his hip, waiting patiently for a more believable excuse.
Liam eventually cleared his throat awkwardly. "Sides, Rita, mum, and dad would kill me if I did that. Malone's never go back on their word and all."
Another moment of heavy consideration before Roddy finally sighed and said, "How late do they stay open?"
"Late." Was the flippant reply. He was either pretending to be mysterious or he actually didn't know. He decided to hedge his bets on the former.
"Think you can get away after dinner?"
"That's the easy part!"
Roddy grunted and resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the young lads cockiness. "Fine. Meet me in front of the elementary at seven then. And not a word to Rita or your parents or I'll be making ratatouille out of you, comprende?"
"Crystal, cap'n." The younger mouse saluted, looking positively overjoyed. He didn't know whether that should worry him or not.
I must be out of my mind! Roddy thought as he finally made it to the Jon and climbed aboard.
Along the way to the school, he happened to pass by the Jammy Dodger II on its way back home and caught a glimpse of the red-headed captain behind the wheel. Rita blew him a kiss and he pretended to nab it out of the air and press it against his heart. She grinned at him as she honked her foghorn three times. In his head, he translated it to, 'I love you'.
No, he wasn't out of his mind. He was just madly in love.