Chapter 3 - A Broken Man.
Song - Human By Rag'n'Bone Man
Tommy went into the city to keep himself busy while Tammy was at school because he didn't want to be stuck at home all day. Tommy was still waiting for a call back from his agent regarding new work, so he had no choice but to succumb to the waiting game, which was frustrating him more and more with each passing minute.
Tommy walks across London Bridge with a take-out coffee in hand, stopping just before the drawbridge to gaze out over the Thames.
Recalling the evil Russell's witticism, "Maybe I need the kind of luck pigs flying," Tommy said in the third person while gazing at the rippling waters, which made just enough noise to be heard but not so much as to be completely distracting. He then adjusted his flat cap and took another sip of his coffee.
Tommy returns to the end of the bridge and enters the next sidewalk with the black barrier separating it from the river, emptying his cup into a garbage can. He notices a lamppost in the distance that stands out among the others that have lined up.
He wasn't looking at any ordinary lamppost; it was the location of his and Gillian's first kiss. He vividly recalls when himself and Gillian giggling and embracing one other, as well as the initially blooming romance that brought the young couple to their knees.
The chemistry was unravelling, letting go of the insecurities that had locked their hearts, the barriers smashed through as they locked lips, enjoying the sweet ecstasy as if time stood still, they released their kiss as they both breathed out mist from the cold air, it was a wonderful moment that Tommy remembers as if it were only yesterday.
Holding back the tears as he tries to restore his composure, he falls back into reality as his mental health suffers as a result of everything that has been building up. He notices a bunch of college-age students watching what he believes to be a YouTube video and sneakily glances over to see none other than his younger brother Dil.
A diamond in the rough who wasn't particularly academically talented but had many hidden talents, discovered his calling when he launched his own YouTube channel as a teenager during the early days of iTube.
A few years later, in a quick turnaround, he has broken into the top 1% of iTube influencers. The pleased big brother Tommy smiles and walks away while the college students stare intently at the one phone screen.
Tommy returns home, hangs his coat and flat cap on the coat hangers, and enters the living room to sit. "Not even Dr. Lipschitz could fix me..." he turns on the television and watches a show he despises.
It was that Soap Opera, which was on seven days a week and was set in a fictional borough of London and had been on the air since the mid 1980's, "I'm not watching that rubbish for the 1000th time!" Tommy exclaimed as he swiftly changed channels.
By cruel coincidence, an advertisement showcasing Gillian's favourite Italian restaurant, where they had many date nights together.
"That was Gillian's favourite restaurant..." Tommy says as his palm grabs the sofa armrest.
Turning off the television, his breathing becomes deeper, his arms tremble, the tears pile up as he can't take it any longer, and he bursts into a loud cry as Tommy is finally able to start grieving properly after a long period of suppressing his feelings.
When Tommy enters the front room, the image of his and Gillian's wedding photo is the first thing he notices on the fireplace mantel.
He swings his arm at the picture frames on the fireplace mantel, causing each one to fall and smash on the floor. Then, yelling, "Why the fuck did Gillian have to die!".
He takes powerful swings at the sofa with each hand, "It ought to have been the driver alone! He was acting like a careless fucking cunt!"
Naturally, Tommy didn't mean what he said; instead, he was letting all of the pent-up emotions out.
Tommy picks up his wedding photo off the floor and wipes the glass shards away. As he looks into the picture, his tears start to flow more forcefully and emotionally. He lays there for the next hour, curled in the foetal position, letting all of his pent-up resentment and tears out in an effort to clear his system.
Later that day, when the doorbell continues to ring, Tommy realises it is the doorbell and slowly rises up. "Hold your horses, for fuck sake!"
He opens the door and is astonished to see his mother standing there.
Didi laughed, "That's no way to speak to your Mom!"
Tommy, whose face is still blotted from crying, blinks a few seconds later before collapsing onto Didi's shoulder and crying even harder as he learns to cry on her shoulder.
"There there Tommy, it's okay, Kian called, and he told me you not been coping," Didi says as she raises her glasses a little.
Didi entered with a suitcase while still carrying Tommy's face on her shoulder, saying, "I miss Gillian so much, it hurts so much inside!"
While giving him a gentle back rub, Didi said, "There, there Tommy, it's ok, don't hide your emotions, it's normal to feel angry and upset, it's all part of the grieving process."
"I just was fired from my position at the film school, and no one wants to hire me as a director! Tommy was having trouble putting his thoughts together as he stated, "What am I going to do, I'm at a loss.
"Kian told me, so why didn't you tell me and your father?" Didi pauses, takes a breath, and then continues.
"If I knew what you were going through, I would be on the first flight back, and doesn't your former employee owe you money for firing without cause?" Didi added.
He instantly switches back to American English after remembering that his mother does not speak British English, saying, "I have my severance package coming, but that's not going to be enough to cover the mortgage payment!" added Tommy
"Your Mom will make things right," Didi smiled as she placed her hands on Tommy's shoulders.
"How is everything going to work out?" asked Tommy, without sounding like he's calling his mother's bluff.
"Just believe me on this one," Didi remarked as she kissed Tommy on the cheek.
Didi carries the suitcase upstairs to the spare room, then comes downstairs to the front room, where Tommy is standing, having recovered from his emotional breakdown.
"Tommy, you were really hurting inside, honey," Didi murmured as she rubbed Tommy's shoulders.
"I was just seeing red, everything was bottled up, and I flipped," Tommy explained.
Didi pats Tommy on the back and says, "Your human..."
"Gillian was such a beautiful young woman and a lovely daughter-in-law, such a beautiful soul she was," Didi adds as she takes up the wedding photo.
"She certainly was, I was so lucky to have met her, she truly was one in a million," Tommy smiled.
Didi reassured Tommy that he wasn't by himself, saying, "I know it's just you and Tammy and Gillians side of the family and with all of us being in America, but I'm going to stay here for a few days get you back on your feet."
"Thank you, Mum, I'm glad you're here," Tommy said.
Didi smiles and adds, "Why don't you run yourself a nice hot bath, I'll get all this tidied up for Tammy's return?"
"I'll need to pick up Tammy from school," Tommy explained.
"I've arranged for Poppy to come pick her up and drop her off here, and Danny and your niece Tilly will come over because they really want to know how you're doing," Didi explained.
"You've certainly got this figured out," Tommy replied, smiling.
"That's what mothers are for, go take a nice hot bath, and that's not negotiable!" Didi stated
"Yes, Mum," Tommy says sarcastically as he kisses Didi on the cheek and heads to the bathroom to take a bath.
Didi at task, honing her quick and efficient cleaning skills she attained from years of running around after three boys (Of course Stu counts!), putting yellow gloves on she starts with brushing up the glass fragments and carefully diposes them into the glass bin, vacuuming the floor and stacks the photos into neat pile so there out of the way, she didn't stop there she cleaned the all the rooms and even baked cookies for her Granddaughter and Tommy's in-laws arrivals.
Tommy fresh and more relaxed returns downstairs and is amazed how quickly Didi got everything done "Wow! Mum you got all this done so quick!"
"Running around after you, your brother and father has made me great at cleaning in record time!" said Didi.
Soon after, his in-laws Danny and Poppy, as well as his niece Tilly and Tammy, arrive.
Didi is in the kitchen when Tammy comes, who is surprised to see her and exclaims, "Granny Didi, what are you doing here?!" Danny and Poppy want it to be a pleasant surprise for her.
"Hello Sweetie, I've come to spend time with you and your father!" Didi stated,
Tammy jumps in her arms as Didi spins, happy to see her first and only Granddaughter, whom she hadn't seen since Gillian's funeral, She is glad to see her under happier circumstances.
Tommy responds, smiling, "You alright, Pumpkin Pie?" as the young Pickles leaps into her father's arms.
"How the devil are you, Diane Pickles?" smiled Poppy
"Poppy so lovely to see you and Danny" as Poppy and Danny greet Didi.
Tilly approaches Didi and hugs her back with her free arm.
Tilly then approaches her Uncle Tommy who greets her with a hug and asks, "Hello, Tilly, sweetheart, how's my favourite niece?"
Tilly exclaimed, "Great Uncle Tommy, and I'm so happy to see me best mate Tammy."
Didi grins and says, "I've baked some cookies just for you both and everybody else help yourselves" as Tammy and Tilly's gaze turn to the freshly baked cookies on the table.
"I'll start the kettle, Tammy and Poppy, why don't you both play outside and bring some cookies with you?" Tommy suggested.
"Yes, Uncle Tommy" said Tilly
"Okay, Dad" said Tammy
He rubs both their heads as Tammy and Till run outside into the garden to play.
"Their such great kids" said Poppy looking out through the window.
As Didi pours tea for everyone and they all bite into the delectable home baked cookies, they have a family intervention for Tommy.
"Tommy, we all love you and want to help you," Poppy remarked.
"You're doing great as a parent, and Gillian would be so proud of you, but getting support doesn't make you any less of a man," Danny added as he sipped his tea.
"Your family loves you, and they want to do everything they can to support you and Tammy," Didi says, tapping Tommy's hand.
"Thank you so much, Gillian's death has really affected my mental health, and I can't sleep at night as a result," Tommy remarked.
Poppy remarked, "I'm glad to have Tammy come in once a week, so you can have a little break from parenting duties."
"That would be nice, and it would give me a chance to salvage what's left of my reputation, because I need to find work or I'll be cream cracked," Tommy explained.
Didi hands Tommy a cheque, which he accepts and asks, "What is this?"
"It's money from Dil, it's a safety net until you get back on your feet," Didi explained.
"I really don't know what to say..." Tommy said.
Poppy then hugs and kisses Tommy on the cheek, saying, "You'll always have us, we're your family here."
"Thank you, Pops, that means a lot to me." Replied Tommy.
"Yeah mate, you're stuck with us for life," Danny chuckled, tapping Tommy on the shoulder.
Tommy has some breathing room now, and there is a glimmer of optimism that things may begin to improve for him and his young daughter.
Didi smiles as she sees Danny and Poppy still treating Tommy as part of the family, and it warms her heart to know Tommy has people in England who love him, giving her peace of mind as she and the rest of the Pickles are separated by the Atlantic Ocean.
End of Chapter 3