"Gods, I miss yellow," Luke sighed atop his tauntaun, whose garbling answer sounded commiserating.
Outside on patrol, Hoth was white and snow. There were shades of white, Luke had discovered, just like there were different kinds of snow. Pure white, dirty white. Greasy white, like the fur of the tauntaun, which kept them warm and camouflaged. Echo Base attempted its own camouflage, but hadn't yet managed to find something to keep the inhabitants warm.
It was the opposite of how he'd grown up. Tatooine's two suns rendered his homeworld a desert, and all he'd had was an endless expanse of dry. He remembered now how he couldn't wait to leave. He took his own dissatisfaction with his life out on the desert and used to claim he hated the color yellow.
The first place he arrived after leaving the yellow desert, completely by accident, had been the Death Star, which was also largely devoid of color. Maybe he'd started disliking white there, he reflected. The stormtrooper armor was white. But so was Leia's dress, so no. It was the snow's fault.
Yellow was the color of the jacket he chose to borrow from Han's meager selection of clothing when he needed something nice to wear for the medal ceremony. He'd picked it immediately. Since he wasn't returning to Tatooine, the color became something like an emblem of his identity.
Something akin to that old dissatisfaction had resurfaced on Hoth. It had nothing to do with his personal life but rather the conditions of living. Hoth was an almost-uninhabitable ice planet, and even from space it was white, a little misshapen due to the nearby gravity well filled by asteroids.
The base was on red alert. No one had been allowed to leave for a month. The Empire hadn't found the tiny rebel base on Hoth yet, but they were getting close. Echo Base had shut itself off from the rest of the galaxy.
It was difficult. Something had to give. Tempers were short, moods bad, and now stomachs were empty. Han and Leia had huddled on the Falcon several nights in a row, working on a proposal to Command. Leia preferred a potential fight with the Empire over slow starvation, and Han just wanted to fly. Luke had sat with them, not really contributing much except useless requests for supplies ("new Sabacc decks? These ones are sticky." "Candy. My mouth gets so dry.") Leia barely acknowledged him with a veto. But it was warm inside the freighter and Han still had some tea in his stores and Luke liked the way they reacted to him, so it was a nice way to wait for the Empire.
Command turned her down the first time. Han went with her when she tried again. "I know how to get 'em to say yes," he said.
"You'll give them spacer's intel?" she had asked. "Make it seem less risky?"
"It'll seem less risky to them when they see it's not their ship, not one of their men. Won't cost 'em a credit if they lose me, and if they don't we get to eat."
Leia hadn't liked it. "It's not my style to treat our resources as expendable," she said. "Even you."
Han spread his palms. "My style is to burst out of here without permission. We could skip this whole Command meeting."
"We've been over this already."
"Yeah, but that was when you were actually considering Luke's request for moisturizer."
"Hells, if it gets us some food," Luke put in his useless encouragement, "if Han wants to seem expendable, I say let him." He turned to Han. "I still love you, though, buddy."
"That really motivates me, kid."
"Yup," Luke grinned at Han.
Leia's eyes held first Han's and then Luke's. She looked, Luke thought, like he did when he first saw Han's yellow jacket, sorry and nostalgic. He didn't know how she managed. Seeing a mere color had caused a pang in him, for home and even for the life he couldn't go back to. What must it feel like when everything hammered at her what she had lost.
"You two," Leia had shaken her head perplexedly. "I don't get it."
"Wouldn't want you to die of hunger missing me, sweetheart," Han had said cheerily.
Luke's tauntaun was a chatty one, which he liked. It was a female, and young. Han's was male and a bit older and didn't make as much noise. It was a good lookout, though. He moved his silent head around, sniffing for danger.
"You could piss on the snow," Han suggested. "That'll get you some yellow."
"Just thinking of the color yellow makes me feel warm," Luke said.
Han shook his head. The furry hood of his parka gave his face a few inches of shelter, but his skin was red from the cold and his eyes shone. "Yellow snow is still snow." He was glad to be headed in. It was hard to stay seated on the short, inclined back of a tauntaun when you couldn't feel your ass.
"You know what's yellow?" Luke asked. He had lifted his snow goggles so Han could see his eyes, but kept his mouth and cheeks covered with a cloth.
Han was growing tired of the conversation. "Sand?" he guessed.
"I miss sand too," Luke said. "Sunlight is yellow."
"Sometimes."
"There's no sun here."
Han rolled his eyes only a little. The kid got stuck on things sometimes and he had to snap him out of it. "Yes, there is. It's daylight, ain't it?"
"Okay, but not like I'm used to."
"Kid, nobody's used to the kind of sun you're used to. I'm surprised you haven't died here."
"Ha," Luke laughed. "I am too. But I'm grumpy."
"We're all grumpy. It's a tough place to live."
"You actually sound kind of tolerant."
Han shrugged. "I'm cold."
"Didn't expect that from you, is all."
Han shrugged again. "I've been in tough places before. Something always shifts and then it ain't so tough."
"You're only saying that because Command approved your flight plan. You're getting out."
"Jealous?"
"Damn straight I am."
They finished their patrol and returned the tauntauns to the pen, and went off to warm up in the mess with some tea. Surprisingly, Leia was there too.
"You know what else I miss," Luke said.
Han looked at his chrono. A full fifteen minutes had passed during which they had made their report, laughed at Wedge when he slipped and fell, and greeted Chewbacca from his perch atop the Falcon. Han couldn't believe Luke picked up as if he had never left off.
"Sand," Han reminded him. "Whatcha doing, Princess?" He leaned over in her space.
She was another one he had to snap out of a mood. He called hers excessive determination. His method was to be annoyingly playful or provoking. It was good to see her out of her office, so he went for playful.
She leaned away from him. "Going over your supply list," she answered, her annoyance growing already. Han grinned to himself. "What do you miss, Luke?"
"Don't ask him," Han warned. "Tatooine."
Luke thought about it. "I'm not homesick. I don't think so. I don't miss work or the Hutts. But I miss warmth. I miss the seasons."
Han made a face. "What seasons?" He'd been to Tatooine often because he'd worked for Jabba the Hutt. The planet's heat was so intolerable he spent most of the time in the cantina. The weather didn't change.
"I miss spring," Leia said with a surprising longing.
Luke counted off his fingers. "The seasons were storm, hottest, hotter and hot."
Han looked at Leia. "He's gotta be pulling our legs." She smiled, but he saw the longing linger in her eyes. "What are you missing, Princess?" he asked, and then he kicked himself. That wasn't the way to handle her.
She sighed and widened her eyes, as if the answer was a lot. No doubt he was the first to ask. "Oh... the color green. The bright one of new growth, and the deep of the fully leafed."
"We just had one shade," Luke said. "Yellow."
"But it could be hotter," Han mocked. "Or just hot."
Luke smiled. "Yeah."
"I miss the colors," Leia went on. "All of them. The yellows and purples and white and pinks. I miss how all of a sudden the air is full of wings- butterflies and bees and birds. And the birthing season. Caterpillars eating your garden plants and pittens and nests in trees. The chirp of frongs at night."
Yeah, this wasn't the way to handle her. The look in her eyes was far away and haunted.
Han changed his method so she'd hate him. "Ah, that's just spring on a lot of worlds," he dismissed heartlessly. "I've seen it lots of places."
Luke pursed his lips and wondered if he should stop Han. He came off pretty harsh sometimes. But most others treated Leia like everything was a tender subject, and so hardly anyone talked to her. Han at least managed to draw her out, even if the result was a plume of anger.
"What's a frong?" Luke asked. He'd found what helped was to draw attention back to him, and even emphasize his inexperience. That usually worked, plus it put Han and Leia on the same side of the table.
Leia gave him a forgiving smile. "An aquatic reptile." She gripped both edges of the supply list with her hands. "It is very hard here."
"It sucks," Han said flatly.
"We've been here a year and it's been the same day in and day out," she said.
"S'that why you're in the mess?" Han asked. It was unlike her to complain. That was usually Luke's department.
"Not the same," he disagreed with a shrug of his shoulder. "It don't blizzard every day."
"We should get some paint," Luke said. "If we can't leave, we should get some color in our lives. Paint a mural of flowers on the walls."
"That's an idea," Leia said. "Price it, Han." She added it to the supply list, and slid it over to Han. "Come back safe."
Han took the list. "That's why I come back," he said. "'Cause you ask me to."
Luke straightened in his seat. Han might be flirting. It was hard to say, because a lot of the stuff he said was an act. He could be mocking Leia's title of Princess, or role in command. The stuff he did, though, contrasted with what he said. And Luke had caught Han looking at Leia from afar, the expression on his face different from the pang Luke got from seeing yellow. It was hard to interpret. Luke wanted to say lonely, but Han probably wasn't lonely because he had Chewbacca and also Luke wasn't too good at reading expressions.
Well, if it was flirting, Luke thought he'd have a little fun, for Leia's benefit. He'd heard her ask before. "Stay, then?"
"No," Han stated flatly. "Too cold."
Leia smiled at Luke. "Oh, well," she said.
It took Han five days longer than it should have to return. Luke went about on his chatty tauntaun with a different patrol partner, sullen and worried, while Leia haunted the command center, waiting for any kind of news. By the third day they took to keeping each other company but they didn't talk about it. They were waiting. If he never came back they'd get their answer that the galaxy was a cruel place and there was no sense in loving anything ever again.
When they heard he was due in, they looked at each other and smiled. "Whew," Luke said inarticulately.
Leia understood. "Yes," she answered.
"And we'll eat again," Luke felt himself edging toward confession. "And be used to that ugly junk freighter in the hangar." Leia smiled. "And see his smug face."
"Some things take time to get used to," she quipped, but relief made her happy, Luke could see it in her eyes.
When he landed they were right there to greet him. He was surprised, and he had to admit it felt good.
"What happened?" they wanted to know.
Han was innocent. "What do you mean? Something happen?"
"You're late," Luke said.
"Oh, that," Han dismissed, and issued a command to Chewie. It was nice to see them at his ramp, but he had the business of cool down, unloading, and reporting in to take care of.
"Five days late," Leia added.
"We thought something happened."
"I took a side trip."
He had no clue, Luke realized, no clue how long five days seemed to two people shocked by how fast a world could turn upside down on them
"A side trip?" Leia's voice had a sharp edge. "I thought you looked tanned." She stood stiffly. Her arms folded across her chest. Luke knew the signs she was angry.
"Tanned?" Han ought to the signs too, but he either ignored them or was kind of dense. He actually laughed. "Are you talking sideways or did you actually miss me?"
Leia lifted her chin at that. Han was dense, Luke decided, because he knew the signs, but he persisted. Those two had been challenging each other since first sight. Maybe it was hard to break a dynamic. Sometimes Luke had the idea they both wanted to, Han especially, but then he'd go do something stupid like laugh at her. Leia wasn't dense but she was proud. She had worried needlessly and Han laughed.
"Han," Luke cautioned. "I think you were safer when you left Hoth than what you are now."
"Hey, my contract says to return; it don't say when." He winked at Leia, which did not help matters. "I only come back 'cause you ask me to, remember?"
"I also ask you to leave," she returned coolly. "I'll arrange for that immediately." She turned to go.
"Hey, wait." Han's fingers almost caught the whirl of her hood, and he found himself disappointed that their early joy at his return had been so quickly replaced. "You didn't ask what my side trip was."
"I don't need to. I'm sure it was to some self-serving place of advantage-"
"Where'd you go, Han?" Luke jumped in. It was possible Han wasn't being a selfish jerk, and if Hoth was no fun it was even worse when Leia wasn't talking to Han.
Han was bent into a crate. "I'm not more tanned, so don't even try. I caught a lead to Glinnsekhd."
"Glinnsekhd," Luke repeated, like a student learning a foreign language.
"I've heard of it," Leia allowed.
"Land of the Blue Sun," Han used its other name to see if that sparked a reaction.
"Blue!" Luke said. "How is that even possible? Sun's aren't blue."
Han was rearranging packaging in the crate. By the looks of it, it needed a lot of packaging. "You know how you piss yellow? Same reason snow on Glinnsekhd is blue."
"Beings piss on the snow to turn it blue?" Luke asked.
Han straightened, angling his head and squinting at Luke. "Are you being serious?"
"You're the one who said-"
"Don't think you can distract us from the real issue," Leia's eyes were also narrowed. "What was your lead?"
Han was going to make her wait for it. "It's cold as kriff there too. But it ain't the sun that's blue, it's what's in the air."
"You weren't authorized to make a side trip," Leia said.
"Nobody authorizes a smuggler to do anything. There's active volcanoes on Glinnsekhd. Lots of 'em. And believe it or not there's beings living near 'em, harvesting sulfur. Even though the air sucks to breathe."
"They harvest sulfur?" Luke said. His blue eyes, almost as blue as the hot springs Han saw on Glinnsekhd, looked emotional, and Han remembered too late Luke was a moisture farmer. "How?"
"They cut it out from the ground." Han looked around for someone to take a bet. Easy odds Luke was going to get all sappy about farming.
"Like we got water on Tatooine." Luke beamed with a found connection. This is what he would want for Leia, that five days of worry brought him a revelation of how amazing a place the galaxy was.
"Why would we need sulfur?" Leia wanted to know. "It's not a good heat source for us. It makes fire burn hotter and faster, doesn't it? That's not good for the ice caverns."
"It's not about the sulfur," Han said, smiling a little. Leia wasn't showing off, just showing she was knowledgeable. Some day, he'd like to take her to a cantina and join one of those knowledge contests. All that princess stuff she had to know, they'd clean up for sure.
"I don't understand why you went to Glinnsekhd." Leia recrossed her arms. The sign for this was impatience, Han knew.
"For the other thing on the list. Paint. I got some, but pretty sure it won't take. It's gotta be a certain temp, and warmer than here. Only reason I got it is the guy threw in a free load of flimsi, so you can lead art classes, Princess."
"Art classes," Luke repeated with a smile. He knew Han was being facetious, but he actually liked that idea. He could see it happening.
"Does Glinnsekhd make temperature tolerant paint?"
Han shook his head. "Nope. Didn't learn of paints. Paint's a surface coating. It was a very educational side trip, Your Highness."
"It's becoming a very long story," Leia complained.
"Then stop interrupting. You got to alter the molecular structure, apparently. He tried to sell me a drill to inject color in ice walls, and when I said no he said try Glinnsekhd. See, I can worry about ice caverns, too." He had bent over the crate again. Luke and Leia watched him silently. Luke was thinking Han didn't really look different than anyone else at Echo Base: he had brown hair, broad shoulders, two arms. A smile that sometimes came quick or tried to hide. He looked like everyone else but he was someone they had gotten to know, two arms and a smile they wanted to keep seeing.
"What's special about the Land of Blue Suns," Han taught them, "is life on the glaciers. Not much sun, mostly rock. It's got this."
He held out two bowls. Luke and Leia stretched out their hands to take their own. The bowls were glass, transparent, small enough to fit in their hands. They had a pleasant, round shape. The opening wasn't large enough for Luke to put his hand inside, yet his fingers didn't meet around the bulk of the width when he cupped it.
Condensation made it hard to see through the bowl. That alone was a thrilling gift to Luke, moisture farmer of yore, and he looked up first in wonder at Han before he peered inside.
There was a layer of gravel, some dark, rich soil, and then a green, velvety-looking thing.
Leia had not been able to resist poking her finger in and petting the surface of the green stuff. "Is this-"
"No," Han said. "Better. No plant will live here. Well," he corrected himself quickly, "actually I found two that will. Two that don't use the sunshine. This is a vascular moss. Grows only where it's real cold and not much sunshine. They have a sort of food system in them. I dunno; the grower told me but I wasn't listening. I only asked what would grow here, and he showed me this and went into a long explanation. I bet he's still giving it, 'cause when I paid and left he was still talking."
"Oh my stars!" Luke exclaimed. "It's a garden? We can have a garden?"
"It's more like moss-in-a-bowl, and probably it'll die, but hells, I figure we'd give it a try."
Leia's anger was gone. She was looking at her moss terrarium. "It's so green," she said. "So... unexpected."
"Somehow it makes me warm," Luke said. "Like the yellow."
"You might've pissed your pants," Han said. "Better check."
"Seriously, you two. You're so strange," Leia said. "You feel warm, Luke, because your heart is warmed." She launched into some of that princess knowledge, but Han thought it was safe to let her continue. Softening her was risky, but this time it came from him, who usually took her anger. "It has nothing to do with the sun or the temperature. It's people, Luke," Leia said. "Or in this case, a side-trip making smuggler."
"It was cold there, too," Han said. "I most definitely did not get tanned."
"People," Luke said, hit with the familiar pang that dropped his stomach. "So maybe I am homesick."
"I tried to tell you, kid. Not sure a garden is the cure."
"It's life," Leia said. "And this is tending to it." Leia looked into Luke's eyes. "It's been very hard. For us. This will go a long way, Han. Thank you."
That familiar smug look came on Han's face and Luke prepared for the moment to be ruined. Maybe that's how it had to be for a while, though.
"I got twenty so I could write off it's for the base, and you'll refund me."
Leia actually growled. "The day you do something purely out of the goodness of your heart without any excuses is the day I-" She stopped.
"I'd like to hear this," Han said.
"Me, too," Luke agreed.
Leia shook her head briskly. "I don't know. Something. Melt into a puddle."
"Oh. Guess we gotta be off Hoth for that to happen, eh, kid." He looked at Leia with honest regret.
"No melting here," Luke agreed again.
"So I'll continue to be a- what was I?" Han tried to remember words she had tossed at him in anger one argument, "- a tight-assed greedy, smug man-"
"You don't have to," Luke said. "She said she didn't know how she'd react."
Leia shot an expression at Luke but he didn't know what to make of it. Was she trying to shut him up?
"You may, Captain, as long as you come back."
Han knew the answer to that one. He bent at the waist, enjoying the game. "But I ain't staying," he challenged playfully. "Now help me distribute these terrariums."