14xx/05/03 Johannes Calendar
3 days after first arrival…
Iliasburg at last! Man, that ride was fun!
Slimed in multiple places, being choked by a large disgusting millipede, nearly swallowed whole by a leech girl, and being ambushed at EVERY FUCKING STEP…how fun…
I am writing this in a local inn. I got some gold coins dropped by the Monster Girls I've fought before, so I can afford a place to sleep and something to fill my belly. I don't want to waste away my MRE ration yet. I was kind of glad that they at least left their dough behind after defeating them though, I need to stretch my expenses for as long as I can.
Breakfast was a simple affair, just a piece of bread spread with margarine. I thought it's a little bit bland, so I spread some sugar over it and heat them up to make a good toast. Damn that was a good toast. A swig from my Coca Cola and water bottle suffices for the day. After breakfast, I decided to look around for my buddy or something I'll need later on.
The city was decent, but it still in the realm of the late medieval. Steel armors, swords, spears, rapiers, axes, the whole ironwork! Fuck me, where can an honest American get his ammo from? I don't want to end up fighting off bandits with a fucking Kanabo, no matter how cool it'll look personally!
If anyone asked who I want to be, I rather be a British poltroon than a Zulu in Rorke's Drift.
The latest news in the city was far more interesting though. there was a group of bandits called the Heavenly Shining Brothers Sister what the fuck did they call themselves who was terrorizing the city for months. Last I heard; there was a vampire and dragon in their crew, hence the reason they are feared. Vampires already a problem as it is, but a fucking dragon?
I have faith in my guns, but I ain't picking a fight with a flying tank just to prove something.
Thankfully, I don't have to deal with that bullshit. The Heavenly Bandit has already disbanded and is doing some kind of honest labor to make up for their evil ways. And they are also children. Bandit children. I've killed my fair share of scums in my life, and a quarter of them sometimes pressed kids into battle, filling their heads with threats and dreams before sending them off to die in their stead. Fucking cowards, all of them.
Whoever pressed those kids to battle is lucky that I wasn't the one finishing the job.
I entered the item shop first; I need a map. The one at Illiasville only covers the immediate area, not the entire countryside. Besides, I need to stock up on food and water.
The shop was normal at first glance, and then I caught a small aisle manned by a single child. Why that little blonde girl did that caught my eye? She was nearly NAKED. The only thing that covers her small, frail frame is a pair of tattered, worn black cape that flutters at every movement. The only thing she wore underneath that is a pair of white cotton panties, that's it. Not even a scrap of thread was found on the little girl. She was beaming at me, asking me what do I want.
I was planning on breaking the shopkeeper's jaw when that little girl suddenly come up and told me that she chose the dress herself, apparently it was to emulate some kind of a powerful vampire back in the days or so. I still want to crack the shopkeeper's skull though, but there's some guards within the shop and I don't want the smoke that early in my travel.
God, he's lucky that I'm new here.
I then searched for a blacksmith, as I heard that they can craft anything. My search was successful as I saw the sign outside the shop which I hurriedly rush in. The interior of the blacksmith shop wasn't anything special to look at, that is until you met the staff.
The blacksmith itself was large bald dude, his large powerful arms scarred and toned after years of bashing metal with heavy metal. I expected this kind of person as a blacksmith, but can you expect a baby dragon with the size of a human pre-pubescent girl and a body of a little girl to mold the weapon at the forge? Yeah, she did have a powerful looking dragon hands and legs and tails, but that's the only thing that was remotely dragon on her. Aside from her arms, legs and tails, her body has no difference than a 12-year-old!
She was a blacksmith's apprentice, and according to her teacher, she was a damn good one. I jokingly asked her if she knew how to make bullets. Naturally she thought it was slingshot ammo, until I pull out one of my rounds and her eyes suddenly were lit on fire. I was a little bit scared that the fire would catch onto my rounds and detonate.
In a strange set of coincidence, she saw such design before. From a person, whose description was eerily like my Hito. The one he showed to her was a pistol round, so she was puzzled by my 8mm until I switched it out for the .45 ACP. She knew nothing about metallic cartridge like this, but her teacher told me that he knew a girl that often brought back some artefacts like these from the place she worked. He has no idea where she worked, but he knew that she was under royal employment, and he was paid premium to store some of the stuff she brought back from the rift.
He however, has a very strong sense of honor, so even when the dragon pup begged him to reveal the stash in hope that I could share the schematics required to build more of them, he didn't budge. Good for him. Business runs on trust, break one and the rest won't do business with you anymore.
But I can still exchange information with Papi the dragon Pup.
Papi told me that my green-themed comrade has set forth with a guy by the name of Luka toward an inn nearby, but it has been quite a while, so she has no idea if he's still there or not. In exchange for that information, I told her the ingredient for the bullet we used. It's not like she can actually make them within acceptable timeframe. And if she does? Good for both of us. There's no such thing as too much ammo.
After concluding my business there, I set forth toward the inn.
Calling that place an inn was a joke, that thing is a motherfucking five-star hotel! The thing was a jarring pristine white architectural marvel from the usual rustic homestead of the city. I can smell the rich aura even from the outside.
Teeny was a maid for the hotel, which the lady said that she was an excellent one. She was something else; she has a lower body of a snake and an upper body of a prepubescent child. Her tongue was long and forked like a snake; her snake-like eyes stared at me with certain craftiness as she approaches me.
Looks like she's the one doing all the work here. Apparently, the Harpies that work at the hotel and the nearby village have gone missing, leaving her behind to do all the work. While she's good at her job, the burden of taking on the brunt of the workload is taking its toll. I can see the fatigue in her eyes and her posture, her body always leaning forward despite trying to stay upward. She said that this Luka of mine has gone off to the Happiness Village to do something about it. And she confirmed that my boy Hito is with him as well. So I concluded that he will be at Happiness Village, or on his way there.
For the love of God…the Happiness Village and the Harpy Village is damned far! It'll take me two days on horse carriage and I don't think I have enough money to buy my way to that village. How am I supposed to reach that place on foot?
This time, I conceded to my apprehension and bought me self a harpy feather. It was a pretty little thing, the feather soft and light and has the appearance of a white fluffy goose feather. It smells surprisingly clean too, with a slight hint of lemon.
Turns out, it only can bring you to the place you've visited before. As because I never visited Happy Village, I can't teleport over there. Fuck!
Well, guess I'll walk.
Or not.
You see, just as I am ready to embark upon my amazing journey of semen and blood when I found another carriage bound for Happiness Village. It was a business wagon, carrying a good supply of herbs and spices. I hitched a ride there by promising the driver that I'll protect the cargo in exchange of giving me a ride. He consented to my request. Yay for me…
It's a waste trying to record the detail of my journey. Nothing actually happens in the journey. Well, so far it was quiet. The plain alongside the path I chose is clear from any form of monsters. While I saw some tell-tale sign of a Millipede Girls, they never approach our carriage.
The sun has fallen and we are halfway to that village. The wagon driver decides to press on, wanting to cover as much ground as possible. I don't like going in the dark, every step made me feel like a monster gonna jump out of nowhere and just rape us without knowing it.
Looks like I was right. Just as we cover around 5 more meters then we were bombarded by a hailstorm of arrows coming from above. The driver got hit and fell off the coach. I didn't see where it hit him, but I was more than surprised that dude manage to live afterward. Without its driver, I'll have no idea how to reach my location, so I jumped off the cart and fought my way to the driver.
I was used to dodging projectiles back home, so it was a breeze for me. But hitting them is another issue really, those fuckers kept jumping around like they were actual rabbits. Then again, they looked like those seedy hostess girls that serve whisky while wearing bunny suits.
I don't care if that's the culture, who the fuck drop 5 grand just to speak some woman?
I manage to scare off the most, but there's a few of them who saw me and decided to act dumb today. Dodging the arrows were easy, it taking them down without killing is the hard part. Again, I still have no idea how far this kayfabe is. Mercifully, a punch to the gut is more than enough to persuade them to stand the fuck down. Hell, one of them even stopped dead in her tracks and started stripping and begging for mercy!
She looked just like her sisters; pink soft hair, curvaceous body, the whole shebang. If I am a lesser man, I would not hesitate to ravish that fine ass. Good thing too, cuz I have a bad feeling shit like this would kill me in the end.
I asked her why she tried to shoot my ass down, she said that she and her sisters are in heat, and needed supplies to deal with it. The fact that we both are men are simply just icing on the cake. She made it very clear that she was in heat, what with that detestable liquid pouring between her legs and her mannerism that clearly screams "FUCK ME IN THE ASS BLYAT!" all the while humping my leg much to my confusion and disgust.
As I was about to shank her ass, the driver suddenly walked up to me and asked if he can tap that. Normally I would punch the guy who asked that, but curiosity is a bitch. After all, I never really saw how this Critical Ecstasy looks like, let alone how it worked. She already technically consenting, as she attacked us because she wants some of that man milk, and oh boy, she's all alone and I have a perfect guinea pig to test it out.
Bottom line is, if this doesn't look like two consenting adults having fun together, then I'll eat my own gun.
But I also knows that there are much better things to do at the moment, such as making sure our cargo didn't end up being filched by Monster Girls looters while I watched him gets his dick wet in the middle of the road. Come to think of it, how the fuck he still thinks with his dick after he got shot in the back and fell off a running horse? Did he wear his helmet on his pecker instead?
The carriage somehow survives the attack much to my surprise. Aside from the arrows sticking from the wooden panels I see very little damage at all. The horses too didn't run away like a little bitch. It was a miracle, which I accepted freely. Good news rarely come freely and often, so accept each blessing with quiet joy.
After all that madness, I suggested that he do it behind some bushes, cuz I ain't in the mood to explain to any passerby on why the fuck is my driver screwing a Monster Girl with the ferocity of the Polish Resistance. So, we parked the carriage at the side of the road and rested for a while.
Alright, after all that is done, I watched as my driver went to town on her, like a hungry lion devouring his prey. I was kind of surprised on how hard he goes. Like damn boy, she ain't going nowhere, you don't need to smash her like she owed you money. Even I wouldn't go that hard if someone owed me money. The girl wasn't no different, moaning like she's in a bad porno movie with her tongue stuck out like a panting dog.
I was more concerned with her eyes though. How the hell did her pupils physically changes from a circle into hearts? It doesn't even stay permanent! And why the fuck my driver suddenly has the same eyes when he fired his first shot?
Jesus fuck, that shot was legendary! First thing I saw was a literal foam of white liquid just bursting right from the edge where their genitals connected. And when he pulled out, it looks like he poured a bottle of milk up her ass instead of his dick. And then after busting a literal fountain of nut, the idiot decided for round fucking two! What the fuck did that guy eat to have that much skeet?!
After like half an hour later, the duo finished their business and decided to continue their journey. I have to remind him again and again that we are supposed to hit up Harpy Village and not her home or her ass while driving the carriage. Jesus, is this what Critical Ecstasy did to people?
Critical Ecstasy, I've heard that shit thrown about like slurs in ghetto but never really put much thought into it. I always thought that it was just some weird excuse for some fool that swapped his brain for dicks on why sticking his 2-inch wiener into some random slimy orifice doesn't automatically expel him from the League of People with Common Fucking Sense, but apparently shits like that exist, and I have no choice but to believe it.
I've no choice, I have to approach all the shits that's going on with an open mind. I've been working on an angle of common sense and logic, but forgot that I'm not at home, or if I'm even still in the same dimension! If I didn't keep an open mind, I would be in deep shit in the long run. I have to learn to accept that yes, sex is the pillar of this fucking civilization and nature itself and my semen is literally nectar of the gods itself.
It's like going to a foreign country; if you keep complaining and close your mind and body from the culture and law of the country itself, you'll get screwed out of everything and it'll be your own fault. Learn their language, immerse yourself in culture, understand the rule, and you'll prosper. All of this can only be achieved if you keep your mind open and willing to learn.
Keep an Open Mind, and you shall never stray from your path!
Even then, I kind of regret letting the driver tap that ass. I've spent the entire journey keeping my eyes open for our prisoner's homies to come back and get their ass whooped again, all the while the two kept exchanging cringy pickup lines like some cheesy romance novel or some shit. Fucker didn't even have the courtesy of being silent when we rested for the night, all moaning and begging for his willy to be wetted again. I am so close to stabbing both of them and walking for the rest of the trip.
I'm going to sleep. Let's hope their midnight wank scares off any predator from coming to slit our throat in the middle of the night.