Chapter 10: Sectusempra
Notes:
Hello hello!
Here's chapter 10 - this one is long :D
Please, be aware that there's some violence, injuries, and panic in this chapter so mind the TWs:
Smoking
Physical violence (punches)
Magical violence (Sectusempra)
Bleeding / blood loss
Burns caused by an explosion in the potions lab
Infirmary / medical intervention
I think that's it! I will update again on Christmas Day :)
Thank you for kudos and comments 3
Solmussa
Chapter Text
Regulus hates James Potter. It's a fact. An undeniable truth. He hates James for many reasons, some more legit than others and sometimes more strongly than others. But in this moment, Regulus haes James Potter because he's somehow gone and made Regulus believe that perhaps he'd show up. Why? Don't ask Regulus, he doesn't know. How? Same thing. It's not like James can know Regulus has snuck out of his dorm and is sitting on the roof of the owlry.
Regulus inhales. Feels the smoke in his lungs. This can't be healthy, he thinks. Is it healthy? He's never asked a muggle whether it is. And that boy in the pub never mentioned it. Bah. It's not important, anyway. He's most likely than not to die in the next couple of years so, does it matter? He doesn't think so.
Regulus exhales. He's fucking pathetic, that's what he is. An embarrassment to vengeful people everywhere. Honestly, after this bout of idiocy Regulus isn't even sure he can call himself intelligent anymore. It's just… He hadn't realised he was waiting for James to show up until he finished his third cigarette and found himself reluctant to leave. But he was. To his utter horror, he still is.
And James hasn't shown up.
Regulus leans back on the tiles, a fourth cigarette dangling from his fingers. What is happening to him? Nothing has changed. He's had a crush on James forever and it has never before interfered with his life in any way. Granted, until two weeks ago Regulus didn't know what James looked like without his shirt on. That does have some impact, he can admit. He also didn't know what his skin felt like. So, maybe?
He doesn't like this. This feeling that he's careening towards something he can't see or plan for. Something he can't stop, because this is a thing that's happening to him. It's not a thing he's choosing. It's James' fault, obviously. He has to stop showing up and trying to talk to Regulus. What the fuck do they have to talk about? Absolutely nothing. Nothing because James and Regulus have only one person in common but their relationship to said person is so fucking opposite it doesn't count.
His eyes canvass the sky, and he finds it. He could find it in any sky. Sirius is bright tonight. It always is, because of course he had to be the fucking brightest. But tonight, it's like he's mocking Regulus. James hasn't shown up, and he's probably with Sirius in his dorm doing something stupid.
James is so stupid.
Regulus' crush on James is so stupid.
Regulus hates his life.
He groans, runs a hand over his face. Logically, Regulus knows it was impossible for James to come. There is no reason why Regulus was even hoping for it. Or that James could know. How the fuck would James know when Regulus has threatened, and hurt him, and insulted him at every turn? Regulus himself didn't even know he wanted James to show up until he didn't. And, let's face it, James is good at school but smart? Regulus has his doubts.
And yet. Regulus is struggling. He's struggling because James is haunting him. He's seen his body—made for sin, by the way. Sins Regulus would happily commit. Repeatedly. He's seen his eyes up close. Hazel, which would be Regulus favourite if he cared enough to have a favourite of such thing. Regulus knows what James smells like. And what the rough skin of his jaw, the stubble there, feels like.
"Fuck my life," Regulus grunts.
He wants to be rid of this feeling because it complicates everything. Regulus needs to stop lusting after James Potter. But how? How does one stop?
Focusing on revenge isn't working. Regulus can multi-task. He's been making progress the past few weeks. Practicing curses in the abandoned classroom, brewing Felix Felicis, researching in the library. He got a pass for the Restricted section a week ago and has already found three tomes to go through with a fine tooth comb.
He's kept an eye on Dorcas, too. Her roommates haven't apologised, but they aren't stupid enough to insult Dorcas anymore. Not while their hair is still sprouting rainbow colours whenever they attempt it. Regulus feels that's handled, and he has no plans to reverse what he did any time soon. Possibly never.
There's the whole mess with Barty and Evan, but that's honestly not on him. Like. He kissed Barty once. Evan doesn't even know about it. The tension is because Barty was stupid enough to flirt with Regulus in a Charms lesson and Evan saw it. Barty has to come clean. Or Evan has to tell Barty he's not being difficult, he's jealous and those are two very different things. Either way, this one isn't one for Regulus. He's steering clear. Besides, as far as he can tell, things have calmed down there quite a lot. They were chatting before they fell asleep and Regulus snuck out.
He could, Regulus supposes, read the research Dorcas and Pandora gave him on stags and wolves. But Regulus isn't concerned. Not really. The symbolism of Pandora's dreams is hard to nail down. And, no matter what she says, some of her dreams have been literal. Basically, there's no way for him to know if he should be worried about real animals or not. So, he's not trying. It's a waste of his time.
Regulus finishes his cigarette. Pockets the pack. James isn't coming and that's just as well. He wouldn't even know what to do if James did show up. Insult him. Threaten him. All the while hoping James is a masochist and wants to stay a little longer.
He stands up, looks up at the stars. "This is your fault, you know?" he says to the sky. "I'm fucked up because of you. I'm a mess, and I'm broken, and there's only bones and cold and hurt and pain because of you. Because you fucking left."
And James Potter was the enabler. It's always James.
Regulus hates James Potter.
Regulus is obsessed with James Potter.
It doesn't matter how much time passes. The two truths remain. They are. Part of him, of his brain, of his chemistry. Two sides of the same coin.
Regulus sits in bed later that night, a vial of dreamless sleeping draught in his hand. He stares at it. Wonders what it would feel like to be able to simply close your eyes and rest. Couldn't be him. He hasn't had natural sleep that wasn't terrifying since that night. The day that changed everything. The day he froze, and his bones closed in, and his brain said 'we hate sleep now.'
Regulus drinks the potion. He despises it every single time, but not sleeping is worse. And it's because he has the sleeping draught that he doesn't dream. If he did, Regulus would have seen hazel eyes and brown skin and large hands and a smile brighter than the sun.
James was having a fantastic day. They'd had another killer Quidditch practice that morning, despite the fact he was out very late with Sirius the previous night. Honestly, his team is stellar. They're so in sync, flying like pros. Everything just works.
And after that, they'd had a very interesting DADA class learning a boundary spell that protects valuable or secret things rather effectively. Very handy if they capture someone alive to get information and need to keep bad guys from rescuing them.
All in all, a very nice Thursday.
Until he turns a corner and finds Snivellius harassing Lily. She's visibly distressed, shaking her head and keeping her hands out in a gesture that very clearly indicates she does not want Snivellius any closer. Sirius has his wand out so quickly his hair has tumbled down before James has time to blink. They exchange a quick glance, then march down the corridor towards the two of them. Lily is very capable, but James will not be a passive witness to something like this.
"Leave me alone, Severus," Lily is saying. "I told you. I don't forgive you. You've made your choice. And it's not one I can get past."
"Lily, you're being ridiculous. This is the best way to—" He steps closer. Lily steps back quickly, hands outreached, palms towards him.
"I don't want to hear it! Just leave."
Snivellius reaches out and puts his hands on her shoulders. Lily stiffens. James hears himself growl. "Take your filthy hands off her!"
Both Lily and Snivellius look up, surprised. Snivellius sneers, but Lily sighs like she's relieved. "Let go, Severus," she says. "I don't want you to touch me ever again."
He does, and that's a good thing because James would have hexed him if he'd taken even a moment longer to stop touching her. Lily suffles closer to Sirius and James, and Sirius immediately moves so that he and James are flanking her. He's got a dangerous smirk on his face, one that James knows means he's waiting for Snivellius to give him an excuse to do something reckless.
"Arrogant as ever. This does not concern you two," Snivellius hisses, turns his eyes to Lily again. He lifts his chin, sets his shoulders. "Lily, I deserve a chance to—"
"No," Lily says, small hands fisting at her sides. James wonders why she doesn't have her wand with her, but he doesn't interrupt to ask. Not when both he and Sirius are armed and ready. "You don't get to do that, Severus. You don't deserve anything. My time is my own and I can give it to whomever I want for any reason. You're not entitled to it."
"I'm your oldest friend!" Snivellius takes a step closer. James and Sirius raise their wands at the exact same time. He stops moving, but continues to look at Lily like he's truly expecting her to fold.
James pities him. Lily is very obviously not going to change her mind. And she shouldn't, not after Snivellius called her the m slur. Not after she found out that he'd been hanging out with Mulciber and his lot in and out of the school. Laughing and bullying other muggle-borns for years. There are rumours that Snivellius and that gang are joining the Death Eater ranks when they graduate. Ranks that think people like Lily shouldn't exist.
It suddenly strikes James that it's very likely he will meet people he recognises out on the field. He's just joined the Order of Phoenix to fight in this war, and he'll be fighting on the opposite side of the guy currently standing in front of him.
It makes James feel a little sick.
"You don't get to call yourself my friend, Severus. Not anymore. Not after you betrayed our friendship," Lily replies. She wipes a tear off her cheek, but the set of her brow is determined as ever. This is a girl who will not break. James admires and respects that.
Lily is, apparently, rallying. Snivellius has struck a chord and she's not having it. Her voice rises a few octaves. "You cannot call yourself my friend because you believe people like me are less than. Unworthy. If it were up to you, I'd have my wand taken away!"
"Not you," Snivellius tries. "Never you."
Lily laughs. It's bitter and cold and James has never heard her sound so spiteful. It's attractive. Like. To him, Lily has never been hotter than she is right this moment, and Godric Gryffindor help him, he's truly into mean people. Lily is nowhere near as mean as Regulus, but still. This single moment is enough to reaffirm his suspicion.
"You don't get it, do you?" Lily is saying, "You can't have it both ways, you hypocrite!"
But James is distracted because he has somehow gone and summoned Regulus with his mind by thinking of mean people. Lily is still ranting at Snivellius, Sirius has his wand trained on him and is watching the scene unfold with an amused half-smile. James is fighting for his breath because Regulus has just turned the corner and is walking down the corridor towards them.
Regulus is walking next to Remus of all people. For a wild moment, James panics—what if Remus lied and he is doing something illicit with Regulus? James feels a little sick, betrayed, even though it's absurd. But then he remembers they're patrolling because they're prefects and that Remus told them earlier today he'd been paired with Regulus so Sirius didn't have a fit if he happened to run into them or see them on the map.
The tension leaves James swiftly, allowing him to regain his wits just as the two prefects come to a stop behind Snivellius.
"What's going on?" Remus asks.
Regulus looks bored. Uninterested. He's very clearly not bothered one bit by whatever drama is transpiring between the three Gryffindors and Snivellius. His eyes dart around a little, deep green, long lashes. Lovely.
"None of your business," Snivellius snaps.
When Regulus looks at Snivellius, his eyebrows draw together a little bit, deepening his permanent scowl. Oh no. James is tense all over again. Are they friends? James doesn't know if Regulus gets along with Snivellius but he suddenly, fiercely, hopes not. He couldn't stomach it. That would mean that Regulus is friendly with people they suspect of being future Death Eaters and it's just… no.
"Don't worry, Remus. I've got this," Lily says. Polite and nice, stabbing Snivellius with a look so sharp it's a miracle he doesn't wince. It's very clear Lily doesn't appreciate him being rude to Remus. Not one bit. "Severus was just leaving. He won't bother me ever again."
She turns around, smiles at Sirius, then at James because they're still flanking her. They've got her back.
Snivellius surges forward. He takes Lily by the arm and makes her turn around. Lily gasps, taken mby surprise. Snivellius steps into Lily's personal space, so close to her Lily pales.
"You're hurting me," she says, tugging on her arm.
"You need to listen to m—"
Sirius' fist hits him so hard Snivellius' head snaps back and he stumbles, letting go of Lily's arm.
Lily recoils, bumps into James who brings up a protective arm around her. Sirius looks at her, and she nods her thanks. Snivellius is groaning and holding a hand to his eye. That's going to be pretty bruised come morning, James thinks.
Sirius gives his hand a little shake, but he's otherwise unfazed. "Touch her again and you will lose your hands."
"Fuck you, Black," Snivellius whips his hand out and then they're duelling.
"Protect Lily," Sirius tells James, dodging a curse sent by Snape. "I've got this."
Sirius is quick, but Snivellius is vicious. There's shouting, and then Remus is at Sirius' side. Spells fly in all directions. Lily is asking Snivellius to stop, but he's not listening. Regulus is leaning against the wall, watching the situation unfold with his hands in his pockets. He yawns.
When James looks away from Regulus, his stomach drops. Snape is aiming right at Remus, who isn't quick enough to deflect. The curse moves fast. So fucking fast all Remus can do is brace for impact.
And then Sirius is there, shoving Remus out of the curse's trajectory and taking it himself. It hits Sirius on the side of his chest, close to his right shoulder.
"Sirius!" Remus gasps. Even Snivellius is a little shocked, and for a moment there's quiet in the corridor.
Angry slashes of red spread over Sirius' chest and shoulder muscles, down the top of his arm. Into his abs on the right side. Blood blooms and crimson stains spread over his uniform, dripping at his feet. It happens fast, too fast. James doesn't like the look of them one bit. Sirius clenches his teeth. He's bleeding profusely, but Sirius doesn't go down.
His spell his Snivellius square in the chest, a stunning spell that knocks him out cold. Only then Sirius groans, brings a hand to his wounded chest, and curses out loud. He's paling very fast. Too fast.
James is moving. He's rushing forward, tripping over his own feet to get to his friend. Remus is already there, murmuring what James hopes are healing charms. Even Regulus has pushed himself off the wall and is standing straight. Still as a statue. There's no more yawning.
Snivellius is all but forgotten on the floor, unconscious. Better that way, because if James gives him a second thought…
"I'm fine, Moony," Sirius says. "Don't worry your pretty head. I'm fine."
He's not fine. His voice sounds slurred, like he's drunk. Except he isn't. Fuck. James' heart is in his throat. This can't be happening. James tilts Sirius' head back and his breath catches. He's so fucking pale there are deep dark bruises under his eyes that weren't there a literal minute ago.
"Pads?"
Sirius grunts, then his knees give out and he falls. Remus catches him all the while cursing under his breath because the healing charms he's using aren't working. They go down together, Remus' arms holding Sirius to him. Sirius is bleeding so profusely it takes less than a heartbeat for Remus to be drenched in his blood, too. He doesn't seem to care. James' is gagging on the smell of it. There's so much blood everywhere.
"Moony, what's happening?" James asks, his voice so pathetic and weak he'd be embarrassed if this wasn't Sirius. His brother, bleeding out in the halls of Hogwarts because he was too busy protecting Lily.
"I don't know. I don't know. Nothing is working. Why is nothing working?" Remus is frantic, trying everything he knows, one healing spell after the other. There's a lot of blood. There's too much fucking blood.
Sirius looks up. His eyes flutter. "Moony. Don't look so worried," Sirius says. He lifts a trembling hand and presses a finger to the side of Remus' cheek. "Smile for me, Moony."
"Shut up, Pads," Remus hisses, muttering spells under his breath.
James swallows thickly, panic building. He needs to help. Do something. But it's Remus who knows the spells. Not him. He's… he's useless and that is more terrifying than anything. Sirius is in peril, and James is fucking useless.
Lily is crying, saying something about not having her wand on her. She's sobbing so hard she's hiccupping, which is fucking distracting, but James doesn't have the heart to say anything because honestly. Same. Sirius is not well, and they're all panicking. Lily is rummaging through her backpack, looking for something, tears streaming down her face.
"You're so beautiful, Moony."
Sirius' hand drops from Remus' face. His head lolls. James' chokes on a sob. "Sirius!" He crouches next to them. "Fuck. Sirius, wake up."
And then Remus looks up at James, eyes filled with terror so raw James can't breathe. Remus' voice is a broken whisper when he says, "I don't know what to do. Nothing is working, James. What do I do? Tell me what to do. Please, save him. James. Save him."
James doesn't think Remus has ever asked him for help before. Not like this. Not desperate. And fuck. It does something to James. This is his best friend, and his brother, and they're both broken. It's up to him to put them together.
This is what James does. He fixes shit. He helps his friends. James saves people and he's going to save Sirius if it's the last thing he does. He'll walk into the afterlife and trade places with him if necessary.
He needs to stop panicking and think.
Be the Captain.
Deep breaths. Okay. Right now, they need help. Help.
"Lily, go get Poppy. NOW!" his voice is like thunder, and it pierces through the fog of Lily's weeping. She drops her bag, nods, and then she's running. "Hurry!" She's already turning the corner, sprinting faster than James has ever seen anyone run.
Jame's hands are stained with blood but he still runs them through his hair because it helps him think. What next? Stop the bleeding. They need to stop or slow down the bleeding. James shrugs off his uniform robe and takes his shirt off so quickly it tears. Doesn't matter, because he's going to ruin it anyway.
Sirius needs to stop bleeding.
"Hold on, Pads," James says, kneeling beside him and pressing his shirt to his wounds. Blood is pooling around him, on Remus' legs, everywhere. Sirius looks ghostly. James wants to throw up, but he won't. He's going to fix this.
Remus immediately catches on and uses everything available—his own shirt, his hands, a handkerchief he had on him—to help James put pressure on Sirius' wounds.
"It's not working," Remus whispers, but he's holding on to the hope. James can see it. Remus is clinging to the fact that James has taken action and that it has to work. It must work. The alternative doesn't bear thinking about.
"Just hold on a little longer, Pads. Poppy is coming. You're going to be fine," James says,
Suddenly, a voice he'd all but forgotten was also here speaks. "She can't help him," Regulus says. Ah. Regulus. Still here, it seems. James had forgotten, because Sirius is hurt, and it looks so bad.
James looks at Regulus, and James knows that he looks desperate and willing to do just about anything if it means Sirius gets help. He doesn't care if it's begging, if it's embarrassing, all he can do is look up at Regulus with the terror he's feeling and ask without speaking.
Do you know what to do?
And Regulus moves. He moves, and James could kiss him for how grateful he is. "Snape knows the counter spell. This curse is of his own making. Only he knows how to stop it," Regulus says, gesturing towards Snivellius. "Get him to tell you. I'll delay the bleeding. Now, move out of the way."
To James' delight and shock, Regulus kneels next to his brother, takes a bottle out of his pocket, and begins to methodically drop some sort of potion over the wounds. He's careful, beautiful hands flying over his brother's body, never touching, but close. The potion hisses, Sirius twitches. And it works. Sirius is still bleeding, but so so so much less. Remus chokes on a breath, looks at Regulus like he's a god.
James is wasting no time. He'll thank Regulus later, because the bleeding has stopped but Sirius has already lost way too much blood and the wounds are open, and gaping, and he must be in unberable pain. Sirius is still not safe.
James trains his wand on Snivellius and brings him back to consciousness. He immediately starts cursing, raising his wand, but James is ready. "Expelliarmus!" And then he binds him, using enchanted ropes that tighten around him if he tries anything.
Disarmed and bound, Snivellius is less belligerent. "Heal Sirius," James says, stepping closer. "Right now."
He looks a little unhinged, bare chest covered with blood and all. But he doesn't care. He doesn't. All the cares about is his brother bleeding out on the floor and the fact that this despicable piece of shit is the only one who knows how to save him.
Snivellius smirks at him. The bastard. "And if I don't? What will you do, Potter? Torture me until I break? You don't have the stomach for it." He scoffs, raises his brows. It's a clear challenge.
James' hand is shaking. Snivellius can see it. But Sirius is Sirius. And he's wheezing on the floor, dangerously close to permanent damage from severe blood loss or worse.
The thing is that people tend to underestimate his bond with Sirius. They don't get it, because some people just… can't see past blood. Or they simply have never experienced a love so deep it melts into the marrow of your bones and becomes a fundamental part of who you are.
James only is with Sirius.
Sirius only is with James.
They are brothers. Not by blood, but by choice. They keep no secrets from each other. They hold no judgement for the other. There's only love and acceptance and understanding. They're each other's guiding light. Sirius is the star that James follows home and James is the sun that nurtures Sirius' broken soul.
There is nothing James wouldn't do for Sirius.
"If it'd been anyone else," James says, and his voice sounds like it belongs to a stranger. It's unhinged. Wild. He leans into it. Into the pain and the rage and the desperation. "But you hurt Sirius. So, I'm going to hurt you."
James raises his wand, brain going through the hexes he knows. He wants to hurt him. He has to. To save Sirius. But he… fuck. Oh no. Can James do this? He doesn't think he can but Sirius. Sirius is bleeding out on the floor in Remus' arms, and Remus is breaking down and James has to save them.
James sets his jaw. He has to do this. Hurt someone deliberately. Someone who's unarmed.
James can't do it. Sirius is going to die and it's going to be his fault. James would take his place without hesitation but he can't do this and it's going to break him.
Sirius moans. It's pain and weakness and something inside of James fractures.
James can do this.
It's Sirius and there's nothing he won't do for him.
"Furnunculus!"
Snivellius screams as his body breaks into painful boils and pimples. James is going to be sick, but he holds. He holds, because this is Sirius and if he's going to be expelled it'll be for saving his brother's life.
Snivellius is whimpering. James is panting. "The counter course," James says.
The Slytherin smirks at him through the pain of the boils on his face. "Is this the best the infamous Potter can do?"
And James raises his wand. He doesn't want to do it, but he will. He knows the word for the unforgivable curse. Can he do it? There's only one way to find out. And if he goes to Azkaban for it… well. Better that than losing Sirius. Anything is better than losing Sirius.
"Cru—"
He's interrupted by pounding steps. And then, Lily turns the corner again, running, panting. She's sweating, her hair plastered to her face. Poppy is running behind her. And James knows what to do.
"Lily. Snape knows the counter spell but he refuses to—"
Lily turns on Snivellius, eyes blazing and voice sharp. She completely ignores the boils all over his face, hands. She's ruthless. Angry. She's fucking glorious. "If you want the smallest possibility of me ever talking to you again to exist, you will heal Sirius Black right this moment. Or God help me Severus Snape, I will print all your secrets and hand them out as a school newsletter."
Snape blurts out the counter spell together with instructions for the appropriate wand movements. James falls to his knees, hitting the floor so hard he thinks he's cracked a kneecap. It doesn't matter. He moves his wand up and down, over the gaping wounds, using the indications Snivellius just gave him. To his relief, they start to heal. Closing as swiftly as they opened.
Madame Pomfrey is there, too. She brought a blood replenishing potion with her, and James is so fucking grateful for Lily's brain. Poppy is feeding it to Sirius while James works on the wounds.
The gashes begin close, and James sits on his heels and watches at Poppy pulls yet another blood replenishing potion from her robes and feeds it to Sirius again. Remus is heaving, holding Sirius in his arms and shaking. Sirius looks like shit. He's not fully conscious.
James looks up, finding Regulus. He watches his brother for a moment, unaware that James is watching him. He looks young, and… relieved? James won't mention it, but he's certain that Regulus is relieved Sirius is in good hands now. His lips, so perfect they look fucking drawn on his face, part ever so slightly to let out a shaky breath.
And then, Regulus' mask slips on and he looks as unbothered as always again. He puts the cork back on the bottle and pockets it, standing up swiftly.
"You've made a mess," he says, stepping over the puddle of blood. "Ten points from Gryffindor."
Remus looks up, staring at him like he's insane. "Fuck you, Black," he snaps.
Poppy gasps, but she's focused on Sirius and will not be distracted from the medical emergency by foul language. Remus does not give a single fuck that there's an adult present. Not when he's covered in Sirius' blood.
He glares at Regulus and says, a little petulant, "One hundred points from Slytherin for attempted murder!"
Regulus shrugs. "Fair."
And he walks away. This time, James doesn't watch. He can't look anywhere that's not Sirius. If he had, James would have seen that Regulus hands were shaking. He would have seen his shoulder hunched up, close to his ears. And if James had followed, he would have found Regulus tearing an empty classroom apart in a fit of rage.
Snape has detention for the rest of the year, and he lost an additional hundred points for Slytherin when McGonagall and Slughorn got involved. No one is sure how he avoided expulsion, which is baffling even to Regulus. He wouldn't have thought that wilfully endangering a fellow students' life could be forgiven. It has given him some ideas. Had he known this earlier, Dorcas' dorm mates wouldn't have got off so lightly.
Regulus hears the gossip during breakfast. Things like these never stay secret for long, especially not when they involve one Sirius Black. Also, because everyone is fuming that the hourglass point counting thing (Regulus has never given a damn about it so he's not sure it has an actual name?) is almost empty of greens.
Regulus doesn't comment. The details flying around are all fabrications. Lies. Every single one wilder than the previous one. Some say James crucioed Snape. Some say Sirius choked him almost to death despite his injuries. There's a version in which Lily Evans threatened to stab him with a knife. Remus is a valiant hero who carried Sirius' unconscious body to the infirmary.
The only accurate murmur is that both James and Remus became shirtless—the hows of this vary depending on the story—and Regulus has heard no less than five groups of girls giggle and sigh over this part of the tale. It takes actual effort for him not to strangle them.
It's all nuts. None of it comes close to what actually happened. Regulus knows. He was there. The truth is scarier than fiction. It always is. Regulus knows this too, because he's fantasized about hurting his brother a million times. He has. Fantasies about the things he would do to Sirius to punish him. The ways in which he would enact his revenge. And yet… when he saw him on the floor, minutes away from death… bleeding. So much fucking blood. Well. He had Dittany in his pocket. He couldn't just not.
Regulus tells himself he cannot get his revenge if Sirius is dead. And his brother shouldn't die at the hands of the disgusting hypocrite that is Severus Snape. This is just unacceptable. Sirius will suffer but it will be by Regulus' hand. No one else's.
Sirius and his friends aren't at breakfast. Regulus is sure they're still in the infirmary, which is fine. It's a good thing, because he feels a little raw and confused and just not himself. He doesn't want to look at them. At any of them. Because it was too much, what happened yesterday afternoon. Not just Sirius' injuries, but Lupin's despair. James' distress. Fuck. James tried so hard to hurt Snape and he just… he couldn't do it. Not properly. James hesitated, and Regulus hates that but he's also impressed. It takes someone made of pure fucking light to hesitate in a moment like that.
Regulus was a second away from torturing Snape for the counter spell himself when Evans showed up. He would have done it. He half regrets that he didn't get a chance. Would have been a good test to see if he can hold it, because he's been made to practice at home but so far only on animals. Regulus would rather torture someone who deserves it. Hurting animals makes him sick, because they've done nothing. They're innocent.
"Hey," Dorcas sits down next to him. Barty takes the space across from him and Evan plops down on his left. Regulus isn't sure if they've worked something out or if they're pretending it didn't happen. Dorcas hasn't told him, and he hasn't asked Barty or Evan. But they seem to be back on speaking terms.
Evan looks at him and says, "You left early this morning."
Regulus puts his coffee down. Shrugs. He did leave the room before dawn, well before anyone got up. He had things to do. He fails to see how this is conversation worthy.
Dorcas rolls her eyes. "Really, Reg?"
There's a long silence. Regulus has no clue what she's talking about, so yes. He's going to make her ask but not out of cruelty or mockery. He would never do that to Dorcas, of all people. It's just because he has no idea what Dorcas wants, and he's too raw and distracted to try and figure it.
I mean. Regulus did see James shirtless and covered in blood less than twenty-four hours ago. It was way hotter than it should have been. James looked wild. Angry. He looked like he was capable of darkness… even if then he failed to go through with it. It was… intriguing. The idea that James has even a spark of shadow in him. That there's more to him than a constantly smiling Quidditch Captain. And a small, twisted part of Regulus wants to explore that. See if he could push James' buttons. Make him go over to the dark side.
A full body shiver runs through him. Fuck.
Regulus needs to take a sip of coffee or else he's going to embarrass himself, because his thoughts are running away with him.
Evan scoffs. Looks at Dorcas. She nods, and Evan says, "Come on, Reg. Are you alright?"
He looks at Evan, frowning. Re-directing his thoughts away from James and whether there's any darkness in him or not. Those thoughts are dangerous and Regulus will only have them when he's alone at night.
Regulus glances at Dorcas. Barty. Evan again. Why wouldn't he be alright? As far as Regulus knows—as far as his friends know—there's no reason for this question.
"Yes."
Dorcas shakes her head, gives him a small, cautious smile. "Reg. Come on. For real. Your brother almost died. You saw it happen. Are you sure you're okay?"
Oh. Right. That. Regulus holds her eyes to make sure there's no question. There can be no question. He hates his brother and he's not bothered by what happened. He doesn't care.
He can't care.
So he looks at Dorcas and says, "Yes."
Barty, Evan and Dorcas exchange glances, but his friends drop it. No one brings it up again all day. Dorcas goes away to her classes, and Barty and Evan stay with Regulus. They get through Charms—Barty is once again sitting with Evan—and then they get through Transfiguration. Regulus notices McGonagall is in a piss poor mood, so the lesson is unreasonably tough. He doesn't mention it to anyone.
It's only that afternoon, when they head towards their potions classroom that things get exciting. Regulus hurries Barty and Evan along, claiming he needs to ask Slughorn some questions before their class starts. They complain, but comply anyway. That's why they're at the door early.
Just in time.
Regulus is about to knock and interrupt the end of the Seventh year's class when a loud boom rocks the room. The door rattles on its hinges. Regulus smiles to himself, steps back and away. He waits.
The door bangs open. The classroom inside is pure chaos. The sort that would make Regulus turn and run in the opposite direction. Except today he doesn't. Today, he's going to enjoy the noise, even if it gives him a headache.
There's screaming and crying. Slughorn is shouting instructions. Mulciber, who's a giant of a man—huge in all directions—darts outside carrying an unconscious and badly hurt Severus Snape. They're covered in soot and dust and the remains of the potion they were working on. Mulciber's cheek is singed, and he's lost his eyebrows, but he's otherwise alright. Snape? Not so much. His skin is melting off his body. It's disturbing. Gruesome. Regulus hasn't been this entertained in a long time. Mulciber tears off towards the infirmary without sparing them a glance.
Dorcas steps outside, coughing. She's unharmed, but covered in dust and soot, too. She startles to find Regulus, Barty and Evan there.
"What the fuck just happened?" Barty asks.
Dorcas coughs again, and Regulus offers her a silk handkerchief with the inscription RAB on it. She cleans her face with it. "Snape's cauldron exploded."
Evan swings his bag around and finds a small bottle of water that he offers Dorcas. She drinks from it after shooting him a grateful smile. "Is everyone okay?"
"Well, Snape isn't," Dorcas says. "Mulciber is his partner, so he was a little burnt but really… the blast was very contained? Only Snape got hurt."
All three of his friends turn their eyes on Regulus. Regulus blinks at them, shakes his head, and pushes past them into the utter chaos of the classroom.
Confusion reigns. Soot clings to people's hair and skin. He walks past a group of girls who are complaining about their clothes being ruined, which makes Regulus roll his eyes so hard he almost glimpses his brain.
A few students eye their cauldrons warily, putting on a show of being scared and feeling fragile. All fires are out and potions have been emptied—presumably by Slughorn—so there's no way any more cauldrons will misbehave. And yet, the hysterics continue.
These people are supposed to go out into the world in a few months. Following this display of idiocy and general incompetence, Regulus will be very surprised if they make it past the summer.
Some people have moved outside so they can breathe clean air, much like Dorcas did straight away. Regulus thinks those people might survive a little longer, though he's not certain. It's not like they'll constantly have Dorcas around to copy her. In Regulus' opinion, Dorcas is the only smart person in Seventh year.
Slughorn spots him when he's about halfway inside. He gestures for him to approach and Regulus does. "Black, thank Salazar you're here early. Please, take these to Madame Pomfrey, will you? We've just had an accident."
"Oh no," he deadpans. "Are you alright, professor?"
Slughorn almost melts at the fake concern in Regulus' voice. Honestly, Regulus could gag. "Don't you worry about me, young man. I'm quite alright, but I need to examine cauldrons in case there's another faulty one! Will you take these to the infirmary? Madame Pomfrey will need them to help Mr. Snape."
Regulus takes the vials and nods solemnly. "Right away."
His friends are outside the room. Barty and Evan are helping Dorcas clean her hair to the best of their ability. It's not going super well, but they're trying. Dorcas spots Regulus and mouthes 'where are you going?'
"Infirmary. Slughorn needs me to deliver these," Regulus says, giving the vials his cradling a little shake. "I'll see you later."
The infirmary is bustling with activity. Regulus steps in to find Madame Pomfrey working frantically to help Snape, while Mulciber broods on a chair. He's complaining about the minor burns on his face and hands, apparently unbothered by his friend fighting for his life next to him.
Regulus approaches carefully because Madame Pomfrey is moving a lot and he doesn't want to accidentally step in her way.
"Madame Pomfrey," he says. "Slughorn sent these for you. Where should I put them?"
She whirls on her feet, looks at the vials, and plucks one of them out of Regulus' arms. "Thank you. Over there, please."
Regulus leaves her to pour the contents of the vial over Snape's burns and goes to arrange the rest of the potions on the cabinet she indicated. It's a little further into the infirmary, so Regulus has to walk closer to the rest of the beds.
He moves a little slower than he needs to, and Regulus tells himself it's so that none of the Gryffindors crowding a bed spot him. He reaches the cabinet, opens it. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see them. As he begins to stack the potions in the cabinet, Regulus watches.
He can't see Sirius because he is quite literally surrounded by people. Pettigrew and Lupin are there. Regulus can't see James, but he's certain that's because he's right next to Sirius. There are also girls. Evans, and McKinnon, and McDonald. It appears that the foot of the bed is covered in cards and chocolates and small gifts.
Regulus scoffs, finishes putting the potions in place. Shuts the cabinet door.
He's almost at the door again when he hears the faint sound of steps behind him. "Black. Wait up."
It's Lupin. Regulus doesn't want to talk to him. He walks faster, but Lupin catches up to him anyway. He intercepts Regulus as he steps out the door.
"Sirius would be happy if you stopped by his bed," Lupin says without preamble. "He knows you helped. He's grateful."
"He's a fool," Regulus replies.
"How so?" Lupin asks, calmly. Evenly. His gaze holds Regulus' and he knows it's a challenge, despite the collected air Lupin's trying to project.
"I'm a prefect. I had Dittany in my pocket. It couldn't let a student bleed to death in the corridor," Regulus says. They're facts. Cold truths. Devoid of feeling. "Any student."
Lupin purses his lips. His eyes narrow. "I see."
"Get out of my way," Regulus says, because he'd rather not have to touch Lupin to walk away from this.
Lupin does. He moves to the side swiftly, clearing the way for Regulus to leave. He starts walking.
"Thank you," Lupin says when Regulus is right next to him. Voice low and solemn. "I don't care why you did it. You saved him. Thank you. I owe you one. A big one. Come collect that debt whenever."
Regulus' eyes slide sideways to Lupin. "What if I ask for something you don't want to give?"
"You saved Sirius," Lupin says. He shrugs. "There's no price I wouldn't pay."
With that, Lupin walks back into the infirmary. Regulus takes a fortifying breath before he marches in the opposite direction. Remus Lupin owes him a debt. It's a big deal between wizards. Lupin knew what he was saying when he did. He understood Regulus can claim it now, and Lupin can't refuse. Not all magic is bound by wands.
Regulus can't think of anything that Lupin could even remotely help him with, and it's better for him if the boy is never near him again. The last thing Regulus needs is for Sirius to get wind of his revenge plans. Still. If he's in a true pinch, Regulus supposes he could demand help and Lupin would have no choice but to give it.
There are worse things than having someone indebted to you, Regulus decides.