Hey all, been some time!
I'm still around but life certainly doesn't slow down and plain and simple, I just don't have the time to write like I used to. I'd love to say I'm on the brink of starting and posting my next large piece, but frankly, I'm not there yet. For now I'll dip my toe back in the writing waters and post this piece, which I'm expecting to be maybe 4-5 chapters give or take. Happy reading!
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A thud was heard, just outside Levi's apartment door – the sound too close to be someone just passing by – and Levi looked toward the door in question, because he wasn't expecting any company.
Another few creaks could be heard confirming someone was most definitely there, and Levi frowned.
Rent had been paid on time, door to door salesmen were unheard of in this neighborhood (considering what side of town he lived on) and while he supposed an attempt of a break in couldn't be written off just yet, even still this was the middle of the day so that seemed relatively unlikely.
Levi was about to get up from the couch, planning to take a peek through the door and try to discern exactly what sort of visitor he had, when there was a sudden huff from outside.
"Dammit…where's the key? Shoot, I can't find anything in here; I put it on its own keychain and everything!"
Levi almost smirked to himself then, his previous concern melting away at once because he knew full well he wasn't in danger – at least, not in any danger in that sense. No, he knew who was standing outside his door, and he turned slightly on the couch as a half-smile came to his lips in patient anticipation for what was to come.
A few knocks were heard, and he negated to respond.
"I hope he's not asleep. If I can just find that key then I can - oh good, here it is."
Levi could make out the sound of the handle rattling and he merely shifted further into his couch, angled in such a way where he had a good view of the door as he waited because this would prove to be entertaining.
The door cracked open a few inches and then a firm, expected thud was heard as it came to a sudden and forced stop – a result of the chain Levi used anytime he was home so that no ill wishing intruders would make it inside without giving him adequate notice first.
"What the! The hell's the point of a key if I can't even get inside? Levi, are you in there? I saw your car outside so I know you're home. Come on, let me in! Levi? Levi!"
A few moments of silence went by, and he eventually smirked, holding back an amused chuckle as he watched a hand, followed by an arm, awkwardly claw into his apartment from the outside, blindly feeling along the wall and doorframe in attempts to undo the chain that was holding the door in place.
"Levi, dammit! Are you listening to me? Can you just…" Their fingers reached the taut metal chain and an angered groan was heard, "You and all these stupid locks! Let me in! Levi – I'm outside the door and I just-"
The Ackerman found he was more than content to just watch them suffer, but then there was a sort of shifting from outside and a single shadowed and golden eye caught his attention - a face was pressed up into the cracked doorway as though they had crouched down in attempts to steal a glance inside.
After a moment, their eyes met and he allowed himself a single, taunting smirk. The golden eye narrowed and an offended shriek was heard, "Levi Ackerman! You've been sitting there the whole fucking time? You ass! Get off the damn couch and let me inside already. Why the hell are you like this?"
Levi didn't budge and he merely turned back toward his computer and made a point of resuming his work, "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of you not calling first."
A huff, and again, the arm had returned back into the narrow space as they attempted once again to try and remove the chain to no avail, "It was a spur of the moment thing! Besides, you gave me a key so I thought it meant I could come over whenever I wanted! That's why you give people keys in the first place!"
He shook his head and continued typing, "Correction - I gave you a key because I need someone to have a spare in case I myself get locked out. The spare isn't for you, it's for me, and I'm pretty sure I told you that when I gave it to you. Now go away. I'll clock off in a few hours and – assuming you call first – you can come over then. I'm too busy to entertain you right now."
"But I'm already here! You can't turn me away, I'm a guest!"
"An unwanted guest."
"Please let me in?"
Levi made a point of being busy, and there was a sigh as the arm once again was pulled back. He heard a long sigh, and from the corner of his eye, he saw them move downward, leaning back against the doorframe as they sat down in abject defeat.
"Alright fine, so it's come to this then. I'll admit you're stubborn, but so am I. I'll warn you here and now that I won't shut up until you open the door. I'll just talk and talk and talk where you won't know the meaning of peace until you-"
Without so much as a blink, Levi grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, already adjusting the volume to drown them out, and their previously smug tone shifted into growing panic, "Wait! I'll uh…oh! I'll make us lunch? At this point you're probably hungry, right? Will you let me in now? Come on, I don't have a lot to work with out here. Will you at least consider it?"
Levi turned off the TV to show he was listening, and there was a sudden degree of excitement from outside the door.
"Yeah, I swear - and I'll even clean up after too! Just tell me what you want to eat and I'll try my best. Please! Its cold out and I drove from all the way across town. You're too cruel to leave me standing outside like this! I know its been a while but its just that I've been so caught up with work but I finally got a day off and so I set aside this time for you and I wanted to get here before you really sat down to work for the day but its like I hit every red light on the way here and honestly the traffic was so bad – to the point where I couldn't even stop for coffee since the line wrapped around the building and blocked the intersection - I guess I just figured that maybe once things settled down we could have something delivered instead because at times like this I don't mind paying the delivery fee but if I'm making food myself then we may as well just-"
"Fucking shit, I'm coming." Levi sat up from the couch and walked over toward the door and jabbed their face with a pointed finger, "Oi, stop leaning back on the door so I can open it properly."
There was a sort of squeaking as he closed the door and removed the chain from its track. He opened the door more fully, grinning as he noted a glaring Petra Ral, standing in front of him as she rubbed her forehead and scowled at him in accusation.
He crossed his arms in return and watched her flatly, "Oh Petra, this is certainly a surprise. How nice of you to stop by. Without any sort of warning at all." He took a few steps into his apartment and spoke over his shoulder, "And on that note, I'm feeling chicken something. You figure out the details – just no pasta."
He could hear her take a few steps behind him and she shut the door, "That's fine. Do you already have the chicken?"
"Nope."
"Why did I ask. That's fine, I'll just put in an order and I can start cooking when they drop everything off. I'm going to order some coffee too, you want anything?"
Levi almost paused mid motion because he had just recently run out of coffee grounds where the idea of a quick and easy caffeine fix was more than a little appealing, but at the same time, he wasn't sure he could justify spending so much for just one measly cup of coffee. Petra had continued speaking without missing a beat, "I'm paying, of course. I'm going to order you something either way, so speak now or forever hold your peace."
He tried not to roll his eyes because he wasn't sure if he was grateful, or just annoyed that she could read him so well – and he tried to not dwell on it and merely nodded, "Fine. I don't care as long as it's not too sweet. Nothing like that fucking – shit, what was that foamy bullshit drink you brought last time? Anything but that."
Petra had disappeared into his kitchen, already snooping into his cupboards to assess the sad state of his current food supply and again Levi found his mood deteriorating further, wishing he had gone grocery shopping more recently because his cupboards were embarrassingly understocked. At least this time around, the lacking resources were a result of his increased hours where he just hadn't found the time to go shopping, instead of a lack of finances like it had been in the past, but Petra wouldn't know any different and she'd worry just the same.
Great.
"A cappuccino, Levi. God forbid you try new things; I just thought it would be a good change of pace from your usual plain black coffee. You're so boring."
"I for one happen to like coffee - real coffee - and I don't need all that extra garbage to help 'wash it down'. You're the poser who claims to like coffee but always orders some bullshit whip cream sugar milk concoction that barely has any coffee in it at all. If you ask me, I'd say you're the one who should change things up."
From within the kitchen, he saw her roll her eyes and and she leaned back against one of the cupboards, "Coffee snob. I'll find you a new drink yet Levi, mark my words. The cappuccino was a miss so…maybe something like a cold brew."
He moved back to the couch and sat down as she continued building her order and Levi tried to refocus, critically scanning his computer screen for where he had left off. He began typing and spoke up so he would be heard, "For the record, I am legitimately busy so you'll have to entertain yourself. Boss sent me a shit ton of reports yesterday and he wants it all done by end of day, the blonde bastard. As long as you don't mind being ignored for a while, then it's fine and we can hang out after I'm done for the day. Not sure where the appeal is since your place is a lot nicer than mine, but whatever. Still though, before I get too engrossed in my work-" Levi paused and looked up toward her with a focused stare, "Did you actually need anything, or was this just a casual visit for fun? Nothing's wrong, right?"
Petra drummed her fingers across the countertop, looking down into her phone as she explained, "No, nothing is wrong. I guess the only real matter of business, if you can even call it that, is just this idea that I wanted to run by you." She tapped her phone for a few moments and continued, "I did one of those radio station things, you know, where you call in to try and win prizes and stuff?" Her words drew off for a few moments and she muttered about an out of stock item, then cleared her throat and continued, "Well either way a few days ago I actually won something – I got two tickets to see Eren Yeager live in concert next month. Can you believe that?"
She looked up from her phone and gave him a disbelieving shake of her head, "Tickets have been sold out for a while now, but I guess some radio stations are still giving them out. I thought it would be fun to give it a shot and I actually won – from what I understand they are pretty good seats too. I'll admit I'm excited; it's going to be a big music festival and it should be a lot of fun."
Levi blinked at her surprisingly good fortune and continued typing, "The festival is out at Sina Stadium, right? Yeah, my ads have been blowing up about it for a while now. Good for you I guess, but what does that have to do with me?"
Petra tapped on her phone a few more times and with a sigh, placed the device in her pocket, "Alright, order's placed. Everything should be here in about 45 minutes." She moved across the floor and sat down on the couch as she watched him flatly, "And don't play dumb Levi; I have two tickets and there's no way I'm going alone. Will you come with me? I stopped by so we could make plans and get our reservations in. The sooner the better because a lot of places are already at max capacity so I figured every day counts. We'll still be beating out the last-minute crowd at least so…you'll come with me, right?"
"You're asking if I want to go see Eren Yeager live? I mean, it's not like I listen to much of his music or anything. Don't you have other friends that would kill for this opportunity? I hear his tickets aren't cheap these days and since that's not exactly the kind of music I listen to, it would make a lot more sense for you to take someone who'd appreciate the experience a bit more."
Levi hadn't been trying to hurt her feelings, nor was he actually rejecting her offer considering he was more neutral to the event than anything else, but it seemed Petra felt that he was legitimately telling her no and her expression fell at once; something he almost missed from the corner of his eye due to his toggling back and forth between work and their conversation.
He stopped typing and looked at her squarely.
"I'm just not sure if I'm the best pick from the lot in this case."
"That's not true Levi – don't say things like that about yourself."
Her voice was firm, surprisingly firm, and Levi was beginning to wonder what she had taken his words to mean. Eventually she looked into the floor and continued, "I get it if you can't go but…you were the first person I thought of and I was just thinking it could be a lot of fun. We've both been so busy with work and I know I haven't been able to make a lot of time these days so I feel bad." She played with the frayed ends of her shorts, pulling at the loose fibers and she gave a half smile, "I've never been to a real concert before, especially not to a big event like this one and I was just…really hoping you'd come with me I guess. I don't want to go with my other friends; I want to go with you."
Levi watched her for a long moment, a stubborn silence filling the air until eventually, he turned back towards his computer with a sigh, "I don't know why you're acting so dejected – I didn't say no. When is it?"
Petra beamed and Levi almost rolled his eyes as her expression instantly changed to reflect her newly bolstered mood, "A little over a month from now, on the 19th? A few bands will kick off the event on Friday afternoon along with some other opening acts - there will be food trucks, spectator events throughout the day and then the same thing happens on Saturday to lead up to the big finale. Eren Yeager will show up around eight or nine and will close out the festival pretty late into the night. There are technically some events on Sunday that are partnered with the festival but that's just the small stuff for local artisans, souvenir shopping, that sort of thing."
Petra paused as her expression altered into something more contemplative, "I know this is all really short notice but time is running out for reservations so I kinda need a yes or no today – sorry. Right up front, I'm thinking a three-night stay would be best if that's okay with you, that way we don't have to rush home or get stuck in late night traffic once the concert lets out. We could make the trip up to Sina after work on Thursday, enjoy the weekend festival, and then head home Sunday afternoon after late checkout. We'd get back around dinner and that leaves plenty of time to relax and unwind for work Monday morning."
Levi blinked at her recommended itinerary because while he understood it was a multiday festival, he hadn't immediately recognized the outing as a full-blown weekend getaway with just the two of them. It was a legitimate trip with packed clothes and luggage - and that was a first for them. Petra saw his change of expression and continued softly, "Sorry if this is too much and all. I know it's a big ask and I know its short notice but I really want you to come with me – it just won't be the same with someone else. Please? You deserve this, please just come with me."
Her stare on him was heavy and Levi gave a long, low sigh, "Well…I'd have to request that Friday off but...it shouldn't be an issue since I don't really ask for time all that often." He looked over his shoulder, trying to ignore her obvious excitement and he watched her seriously, "You said we'd leave Thursday, after work?"
"Yeah, if that's okay and you manage to get Friday off and everything. Sure beats getting up at four in the morning and then having to leave the next day at four all over again."
"Right. It shouldn't be an issue - Friday I mean. As for the festival itself, how about I take care of the driving if you'll cover the hotel room? I'd offer to split cost with you, but that's not an expense I've got budgeted and I'm really focusing on cutting back right now. Hope that's okay."
He opened up a new tab in his browser and submitted the time off request, and from his side Petra responded, "Of course – I did spring this on you last minute so its only fair that I work out the accommodations. That's actually perfect, seems as I have no sense of direction. Even just today, I missed the turn to your apartment again. Twice. I don't know why I keep forgetting where it is, it's just those damn trees always block the sign or something."
"Don't blame the trees for your lacking sense of direction. I swear, not even GPS can save you."
"Well we all have our talents Ackerman, and besides, this place really is in a weird part of town and you know it."
There was a few minutes of silence and Petra casually read out her findings as she attempted to locate a place that still had some vacancies. Levi continued working, a comfortable silence settling between them as they saw to their tasks and finally Petra spoke, "Okay. I've looked at a few hotels – most of them are already blocked out for the concert - but I think I've found a good one. It's a few miles away from the stadium and it says they're offering a shuttle there and back so that's pretty nice." She turned her phone around so he could see a map of the city, something Levi took a single glance at for mere politeness sake, and he looked back toward his computer as Petra continued, "It's far enough away where we shouldn't be kept up by late night bars or party busses, but still close enough that even if we had to walk, it's not that bad. Another perk to consider - we won't have to pay for concert parking seems as we can just leave your car at the hotel, so that's nice. All in all its rated pretty high by guests and it's not too expensive, but not suspiciously cheap either where I'm worried about someone trying to harvest our kidneys or something. Want to look at some pictures; see if it meets your approval before I try and book?"
Levi held up a finger to confirm he needed a moment, reorganizing his screen as he began looking through more intricate parts of the data Erwin had assigned to him and after successfully filtering the data to find what he was looking for, Levi looked back toward Petra and grabbed her phone. He scrolled through various pictures of traditional hotel rooms that the establishment offered; bright lights with modern and cheerful décor and crisp white bedding, and he nodded as he handed her phone back to her.
He turned back toward his computer, "Looks fine to me. If that's where you want to stay, I say book whatever they've got left."
Petra retrieved her phone and continued the reservation process.
"Alright, reservation for one room, three nights – nonsmoking of course – and lets see the types of rooms they have left. They said they had some vacancies but I'm not sure if that's applicable for us. Oh, well it looks like they have an executive style suite that's hella nice, but way out of my budget and far more than we need. It even has its own office and miniature waterfall feature!" She trailed off, looking at pictures of the room they wouldn't be booking, and eventually she refocused and continued her search, "Looks like they've got a handful of rooms left in the smoking section, but the smell would get into my clothes and I'd rather not deal with the ashtrays and all that. Ah, now here we go – this might actually work." She sat back into the couch and brought her knees up, obviously feeling more than at home as she stared into her phone with a focused expression, "Found what we need. Nonsmoking room with two fulls. They've got three of those rooms left so I think I'll book it here and now before those get swiped. Not surprisingly, it looks like all their rooms with one king bed are already booked but I figured that the two beds might be uh, you know, better for us."
"Yeah. Sounds good."
Levi was intentionally focused on his computer now, halfway because he legitimately had to keep on task, but the other half was because if he looked at Petra right now, he was sure his expression would tip her off that he wasn't blind to her pointed choice of words and there was no way he was opening the door to that conversation again.
Nonetheless.
There was a sudden ache in his stomach and a tightness in his jaw that made him wish he had legitimately pretended he wasn't home so that Petra wouldn't have stopped by and just let him be for the day.
Two separate beds – and not because that was the only choice left – but rather because that was her first choice.
It wasn't the fact that they were getting such a room that bothered him, it was the fact she felt the need to specify such a detail, as if he didn't know perfectly well where they stood. Damn, with the fact she was making a point to clarify their accommodations and the fact he was so overtly sensitive to her words where even something like this was enough to get under his skin – it seemed he wasn't over it any more than she was.
Even back then, he had known he fucked up the moment he had said something, because the face she had made in response to his words had said more in a single moment than she could have ever said in a lifetime. Three months ago he had been nervous as hell, had been frustrated by what they were, what they weren't, and so three months ago, he had confessed to her.
He had known her for over two years now, had found her attractive as hell from day one, and after watching her stay single year after year and revolve her life around him little by little – after she had one night drunkenly confessed that she thought he was 'crazy hot' and warned him that she'd purposely scare off any girl he tried to date because the thought of him being with another woman made her jealous as hell – he had told her about his feelings later on that same week.
He told her he wanted her to move in with him, or that he would move into her place even though he'd never be able to afford it. He hadn't said that on a whim either – he had picked up extra hours at work, just trying to rerun the math in his head and try to make it so he could be a little more flexible with his finances because he didn't want to be a drain on her or make her think he was just using her to get out of his situation. He was trying to adjust his life so she would fit into it seamlessly - he had told her that he wanted to be in a real, actual relationship with her because even though they had just been platonic 'friends' for so long now – they both knew there hadn't been anything platonic about it and it was time they stopped beating around the bush and actually committed.
He was tired of keeping her at a distance, tired of wondering what sort of man he was in her life, and fuck, he just wanted things to feel natural between them because being with her felt so damn right so it only made sense. He wanted to be with her, and he could only assume that she had wanted to be with him too.
She flirted with him constantly, got shy or flustered when he watched her too long, had rejected man after man while intentionally looking him dead in the eye as she told her would be suitor that there was someone else, and then she'd get pissy and ignore him for days if other women hit on him when they were out in public. It had only made sense to him that she had feelings for him – and what was somehow worse – when he had told Petra that he wanted to be with her because his feelings were too damn strong to ignore and he was tired of their flippant games, she had watched him with that look and said the worst fucking thing imaginable.
Petra told him that she loved him.
She had told him that she loved him so much she couldn't stand it, but that was the exact reason why they couldn't be together like that.
Her words had come out in a blur, because he just couldn't comprehend what the hell she was saying, and Petra had mournfully explained her reasons through wave after wave of apologies. She wouldn't stay in this town forever. She was going to finish her internship, try to move up in her career, and she just wasn't ready to settle down right now because there was just too much going on between school and her working situation. The company could relocate her at any time, they had branches overseas, even if they did get into a relationship she'd still be forced to leave him behind because she had worked too hard to drop out now. He understood, right?
With a broken expression and tears in her eyes, she told him that she could date almost any man because it would be meaningless and just for fun, but he was the one exception because it could never be meaningless with him. He was too precious to her, far too important, and she wouldn't put him through a relationship that she couldn't wholly devote herself to, because he deserved the absolute best and it wouldn't be right for her to use him like that. If they were ever going to date, it needed to be at a time where she could give herself to him completely, and that just wasn't possible right now. She couldn't even ask him to wait for her because even then there were no guarantees and that wasn't fair either. She only wanted the best for him, because he deserved the best, and it couldn't work between them because she couldn't be what she should be for him and he should never have to settle his expectations because he was too good for that.
She told him she was sorry, told him she knew it was selfish but she needed him to accept things for where they were now, because she needed his friendship, his presence in her life, and she explained that she loved him too much to risk what they already had, for a relationship that just couldn't be what it should.
Levi had been so confused, so frustrated by her scattered explanation and the clear thought she had already put into it, devastated by the fact that she wasn't even willing to try, and in a mix of aggravation and sorrow, he had kissed her on the spot for the first, and last time.
It had been amazing; the kiss, her lips against his, the way it felt to finally hold her close, and the way his heart could outright soar in his chest like that – an impressive feat, considering how many pieces had been left behind from her unexpected rejection that had left him shattered. She had cried against him for some time, he couldn't even count how many times she had slurred out a broken 'So sorry Levi, I'm so sorry' and even though he had been lying through his teeth, he had held her in his arms and told her it was okay, and that he understood, and that they would be just fine.
It wasn't fine and they both knew it.
They had acknowledged their feelings, both acknowledged they wanted the other, and the fact that Levi had finally made up his mind – knew what he wanted to give her and who we wanted to be for her – combined with the fact that Petra had wanted those same things but just wouldn't give them a real shot, it had hurt to the fucking core and he wasn't sure what the hell they were supposed to do now.
Three months had gone by with fake smiles, pained interactions, a new-found awareness between them where he couldn't so much as touch her without her eyes going wide as though she were attempting to discern his motives, but at the same time, Levi tolerated all of it because like Petra said, he also needed her in his life and he'd be damned before he just cut her out completely - no matter how fucking weird or painful it was between them right now.
"And that's done!" Petra confirmed with an exhale, and she set her phone down as she looked toward Levi, "And you're pretty sure that your boss will let you have the time off?"
Levi nodded and continued reworking some of the figures into the correct tables, "Yeah. I don't ask for much, and like you've said I've picked up a lot of hours recently so he kinda owes me. He's been wanting me to work overtime for a while now – says I'm the backbone of the whole damn firm or whatever – but I never really pulled the trigger until…" Levi felt his lips tighten as his thoughts tried to run away from him for a second time and he cleared his throat, "It was just time. I'm not really convinced I want to make the whole thing into a career or not just yet, but I won't deny that the paychecks have been nice. The pay is good, it's just getting all my damned debt paid off. Once that's done and my lease is up, I figured I can finally get out of this shitty place and move up in the world a bit."
Granted, his idea of moving up in the world had included being with a certain ginger not three feet away from him, but now that she had confirmed it was an empty dream, he just wasn't sure what his idea of the future was supposed to look like anymore.
"Well I think that's great, Levi. I know that I make more than you, but we both know that's just a result of my dad having the right connections and this internship being handed to me on a silver platter. Not that every step of the way has been easy or that it hasn't taken serious work on my part, but for the record, I do see you grinding and working hard to change your situation. You should be proud of that; not a lot of people are able to accomplish what you have."
Petra had smiled, feeling a sudden warmth in her chest as she watched Levi's expression turn all the more focused as he made a point of not responding – apparently her praise had somewhat embarrassed him – and Petra found herself grinning and sitting back further into the couch as she continued softly, "I really admire that in you, for real. You have goals that you're serious about, and you're putting the work in to make it happen. When you're finally in a new place and debt free, you better call me up so we can celebrate properly. It's a big deal and I'm going to make a big deal out of it when the time comes."
Levi shook his head, practically rolling his eyes at her words and Petra gave him a small, teasing slap to his shoulder as she gaped, "Hey! I mean it Levi – I really want to celebrate your achievements. Don't scoff or try to laugh it off because you discredit yourself too much as it is. When I'm trying to be serious like this, I really wish you'd just take the compliment and keep your sarcasm in check. You're working hard. I see you working hard, and I support you making a better life for yourself. I'm glad you are, because I want you to be happy. You deserve that much."
Levi suddenly found there were many things he had wanted to say. He wanted to tell her she had every fucking ability to make him the happiest man alive, but apparently she didn't want to see him happy that badly, otherwise they wouldn't be stuck doing all this tiptoe bullshit, and they certainly wouldn't be booking a hotel room with two separate ass beds either.
He almost mentally winced at his embittered thoughts, somewhat deciding he must have been in a bad mood after all. Instead of saying what he was actually thinking, he merely gave a low 'thanks' and continued working without protest.
Petra had stayed silent for a long while after that, eventually moving closer toward him as she nudged him on the shoulder once, then twice.
Levi closed his eyes and gave a sigh, feeling conflicted because he was admittedly irritated by her nagging, consistent interruptions - but at the same time, worried he'd come down on her too harshly because annoyance aside, he didn't want her to leave. This was the first time he had seen her in weeks.
"Petra. I've got to work. I'm not trying to be an ass but I told you I'm busy and-"
"No I know, I swear this is the last time I'll bug you. I was just wondering if you'd listen to Eren Yeager's new album with me? It dropped a while ago, but I haven't listened to it yet. I figure that most of the concert will be from this album and it'll be nice to know some of the songs. Do you mind? I brought my ear buds, if you don't mind sharing."
Levi sat back from his computer screen, somewhat leaning back into the couch as he watched Petra flatly, admittedly surprised when she held up a single, wired ear bud.
"What, no air pods yet? Not even wireless? This must be embarrassing for you, I would have never pictured you to have something so archaic like this. What landfill did you dig these out of? Daddy cut you off or something?"
Petra smirked and held up a single wire toward him, "Joke's on you Ackerman, my air pods are at home actually. This is my backup pair of headphones that I keep in the glove box. Technically speaking I could just play it out of my phone's speaker, but it's not the same. Its better from headphones in my opinion; balance resonates more evenly and all that."
Levi shrugged, not having an opinion on if music sounded best through a speaker or from some other form of technology, and without further comment he attempted to fit the small device into his ear. Just as soon as he had gotten the position just right, Petra had shifted across the couch in effort to get more comfortable and the wire pulled taut between them, causing the earpiece to be pulled away from him and tumble downward toward the cushions.
"Oh sorry," Petra apologized quickly, "Let me move a little closer and that might help."
Levi grabbed the small speaker off the cushion and Petra scooched closer in attempts to accommodate the ear buds so that they wouldn't be pulled out again. As she seemed to settle down, now sharing half of the same cushion he himself was on, the side of her leg brushed against his own, and Levi almost chuckled to himself as she mumbled out a low apology and blushed a deep crimson red.
"Sorry. The uh…cord's not very long."
"Yeah, I noticed. You gonna play it or…?"
Petra nodded a few times and looked down into her phone, more than happy to have the distraction because it seemed their sudden closeness was still getting the best of her. Levi tried not to get even further irritated by her nervous behavior, because not too long ago she would wrestle with him or hug him so tightly and she had never once cared what sort of impression he was getting from her closeness, but now she was so overly cautious that it was outright pissing him off.
Fuck, he never should have told her.
"I'm going to get back to work." He mumbled stiffly, turning back toward his computer and trying to pick up where he had left off. After a few minutes, music began playing and though he was somewhat trying to ignore it so he could get back to work, Levi was admittedly surprised by the soft, gentle rhythms that the song had opened with – almost bracing himself for an all-out beat drop that never came.
As the artist came in with a gentle verse that eventually turned into an equally gentle, soft chorus that was slow paced and cathartic, Levi sighed at his nagging curiosity and looked toward Petra and frowned, "This is Erin Yeager? I don't know his music that well but isn't he some rapping, pissed off brat where all his music is fast and loud and really fucking obnoxious? This is-"
Petra beamed at him and nodded, "Right? I don't really follow celeb gossip, but this album got a lot of people talking when it first came out. Like you said, it's completely outside the normal scope of his brand and it was trending pretty fast because of it. Eren Yeager's always been a bit of a loose cannon and most of his music is known to reflect that wild side of his personality, but one day he just sorta disappeared from the public eye without warning. Earlier this year he came back unannounced and dropped this album and everyone's been raving about it ever since. A lot of these songs were top of the charts all summer, but half of the album's popularity has just been all the intrigue. His music style changed, he grew his hair out and acts a lot more serious – some people say its all just one big publicity stunt, but others are saying it's because of his new relationship with that model, Mikasa Ackerman. Rumor is that it's changed him, and hopefully for the better."
Petra had paused and gave Levi a cheeky grin, "You know with her being an Ackerman and all, any shot that you're related to her? If the two of them get married and you can prove you're some long lost relative, that might play out in your favor. Wouldn't hurt to have a millionaire marry into the family, right? Besides, I've always dreamed of going to a celeb wedding, so when the time comes, I just hope you know that you'll be taking me as your plus one."
Levi rolled his eyes, "Sure. I'll get right on that DNA test – I'd hate for you to miss out on such a big to do event after all."
A silence had fallen between them, but it wasn't uncomfortable or thick with all that was unspoken between them, simply because the music that was playing continued on with its same gentle rhythm; an undeniable sort of peaceful lull woven into the lyrics and beat that was slowly but surely putting the tension between them to rest – in more ways than one so it seemed.
A number of songs had played from start to finish, mostly love songs or lyrics that confirmed his new views on life and just when Levi had fallen back into a good groove for his workday, he felt a head fall squarely onto his shoulder with a thud. It was Petra, and at once she had jolted and sat straight up, blinking a few times as she rubbed her eyes in confusion.
"Wha'zat – is'th food here?"
"Did you just…fall asleep?" Levi asked in admitted surprise, and Petra gave an immediate shake of her head, but Levi only snorted because it was obvious that yes, she had, and Petra groaned and gave a defeated, miserable nod at his unconvinced stare.
"Sorry Levi, I'm just a little sleep deprived, not a big deal. I'm working on a merger between two partnering branches overseas and I may have stayed up all last night putting some preemptive drafts together. This is the biggest project I've worked on in my internship and I'm putting in some extra hours to make sure that I get it right the first time. It's hard work but if I can land this acquisition, it's going to look so good on my resume and I'll have a lot more bargaining power should they decide to offer me a permanent position in the company – that's the idea anyway." She paused and looked into her phone with a smile, "It's just this damn album is knocking me out; I wasn't even aware it was putting me to sleep until I nodded off. It just sounds really good, you know? I really like it."
Levi found a sudden tightness pulling at his lips and he forced himself to stare into his monitor so that he wouldn't shoot Petra an icy, frustrated glare, "If you're that tired then you should have stayed in your apartment and gotten some sleep, you know, at least tried to take care of yourself? All you're doing now is just sitting next to me, wasting time when you could be catching up on your sleep and-"
"Well maybe that's all I fucking wanted." She responded in a snide hiss, and when Levi paused and looked toward her in admitted shock, she held up a hand and frowned, "I uh, sorry. I'm kind of bitchy when I'm tired and it's not you're fault I'm so overworked - I really didn't mean to snap like that. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but even if it's just being over or wasting time, I wanted to make time to see you. If I'm bothering you, then I get it and I can leave but honestly its just been a long week and I kinda wanted to blow off some steam and just hang out. I know things have been uh…well its just even though I know we aren't…I mean, I still really care and all so-" She gave a sigh, apparently not quite able to voice whatever it was she was attempting to communicate, "I just…really missed you. Work's been busy lately and I worry about you when I'm not around. I'm sorry, if that's uh…not fair to say anymore."
Levi was midmotion, his frustration turning into acceptance as he moved to pull her closer and tell her she didn't have to explain herself - he wouldn't pry or force a confession because he knew how hard it was for him, so it seemed logical that things were hard for her too. She was always welcome and if she wanted, she could just fall right back asleep because he wouldn't push her away - hell, he wouldn't even breathe; he would sit there patiently and let her lay against him for as long as she wanted. He'd tell her that the fact she came all the way across town just to feel at peace and allow herself to rest now that she was so close to him, was just a sign of their deep friendship and certainly not a result of her strong feelings for him. With any luck, she'd even believe him.
Before he could so much as open his mouth, there was a knock at the door and Petra jolted, standing up from the couch and setting her phone down so she could stretch her arms in attempts to wake up more fully. Levi had watched her move, watched as her shirt rose with her arms and displayed a few inches of her back, and he found his eyes trailing down her legs as she rose up to her tip toes with a high-pitched yawn. Blinking out of his suddenly distracted stupor, Levi forced himself to return back to work, telling himself he needed to show some fucking self-control before Petra caught him staring.
"Good timing huh? I think that's the delivery. I'm leaning toward making chicken tortilla soup – it's pretty dreary outside and it just feels like a good day for something warm and cozy." She opened the door and began carrying in a surprising number of bags toward the kitchen, far more bags than a simple soup would require, and Levi was about to tell her that she better not have bought him groceries again, when her own question cut him off, "Now, do you want it spicy or mild?"
Levi almost snorted, "Is that a serious question? Woman, you can't even handle a damned jalapeno so don't try to play it off like you're about to make something spicy. In your case, all spicy means is that you're intending to use black pepper, so with that in mind - I'll take my chances with the 'spicy'."
Petra rolled her eyes and began stocking his pantry with canned goods and basic necessities that he had run out of, then began filling up his fridge with some produce as she responded in amusement, "Digging your own grave there Ackerman - I'm actually using a recipe this time since I've never made it before so it may end up with more of a kick than you're accounting for. I proactively bought milk and sour cream to help cut the heat if it gets too bad, but a badass such as yourself clearly won't need any, right?"
Levi almost laughed at the underlying challenge to her words and Petra paused from her task, watching him from the kitchen with a smug grin, "With that kind of arrogance…I hope it burns your tongue clean off."
He shook his head, unable to stop the grin from coming to his face, though said nothing in return as he continued working on his project. Eventually Petra moved back to the door, bringing in even more bags of groceries he hadn't asked her to buy.
He tried to ignore it, knowing it was just how she was and that it was her way of looking out for him, but after a third trip and what he mentally tallied as close to two hundred dollars' worth of food, he looked up from his laptop and watched her pointedly, "I assume you're taking all of that home with you Petra; I've told you before to stop snooping in my cupboards and to just mind your own business because I don't want-"
"Hey you're supposed to be working, remember? Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain and let me make lunch because if you think I'm bitchy now, just wait until I get hungry. You won't like me when I'm hungry."
He turned his body toward her and watched her flatly, "Petra, I'm serious."
"So am I!" Regardless her words, her tone was still light and chipper as though she were trying to play it off and Levi's expression hardened, staring her down until his point got across that as much as he appreciated the thought, he didn't want to owe her any favors. He, in some ways, was working to eventually show her that he could support himself just fine and maybe, under the right circumstances – perhaps one day, support her too. Her always trying to buy him things or throw money at him by the handful was just demeaning and bit at his pride relentlessly since the last thing he wanted was her pity.
Petra frowned as he continued to watch her expectantly and she gave a shy smile, "I know you don't need the help, but I also know you're trying so hard to pay off debt and I just thought that-"
Levi cut her off sharply, "Will you stop with that self-righteous schtick already? You shouldn't worry so much about my problems; hence why they're my problems. You meddle too much and to be frank, this kind of thing really pisses me off. Aren't you the one who set all these damn boundaries between us because you didn't want things to get serious or whatever? But then you turn around and do this shit constantly and I'm just expected to take it and say thank you. When I treat you special you say I'm crossing a line, but when you do it its 'cute' and 'thoughtful' and it's not fucking fair. This double standard shit has got to stop because it's fucking demeaning."
He held her stare seriously, "I know you care. I know you have my back. You know I have yours. Let's just leave it at that, okay? I don't want to be a burden on you Petra, but even when I try to do better or make choices to put myself in the right direction, you still go out of your way to do things like this and I feel like shit even though I never asked for the help in the first place. Please, fucking stop. You aren't achieving what you think you are when you do this; you just make me feel less about myself and then I have to find yet another way to pay you back. I can't owe you more and-"
"You owe me nothing-"
"I owe you everything, Petra! You're the reason I've tried, the reason I decided I had enough worth to actually do something with my life and – look fuck it, just stop, okay? If you want to help me, then stop giving me handouts that I never even asked for. I'm not broke, I'm just busy - there's a difference."
Petra had stared at him for a long time, and even as her eyes began to turn glassy from his blunt tirade, he merely held her stare all the more because it was an area he wouldn't be budging on.
His resolve waivered when the first of her tears fell, and Petra groaned and retreated into the kitchen in search of a tissue, "Damn it all, sorry. I'm not trying to cry or be overly emotional just to guilt trip you, I'm just so damned sleep deprived that my emotions are all over the place today and well...that was blunt even for you." She returned with a tissue in hand and wiped her eyes as she fiddled with a grocery bag, "Even still, you're right. I hadn't thought of it like that and I'm really sorry if it's put even more strain on you or made you feel like I was looking down on you. That was never my intention and I promise I don't see things like that. I just… if you need help, and I mean really need help, promise me that you won't feel any shame or embarrassment in asking for it. I don't mean to sound arrogant or pretentious, but you know I have more than enough with my job and family background. I wouldn't feel right, having the things and the life I do, just sitting back and watching you suffer. I'd never hold that sort of thing against you - boundaries or otherwise."
"I know. And I'll try. I don't like asking for help, least of all from you, but if the situation calls for it, I'll keep it in mind. I know that...you're different." He cleared his throat and nodded toward the kitchen, "Either way, that means you're taking all this back, right?"
Petra looked back into the kitchen and eventually gave a half shrug, "Well…I already have my groceries delivered each week so as it stands now I don't exactly have room for all this at my place."
Levi grumbled at her convenient excuse and Petra gave a contemplative sigh, "I suppose I could have it all sent off to a food pantry but most of them don't take perishables so a lot of it would have to be thrown away. Can we just…well, if you're set on no favors, maybe you can work for it? I mean you don't have to, to me it was just filling a need but I respect your argument. It would just be such a waste to throw it all away though, you know?"
He rolled his eyes and stared her down seriously, "This is the last time you pull something like this; I mean it. Now what exactly do you suggest for this exchange? And no bullshit either; it has to be fair."
Petra gave a sigh and thought for a few moments as she continued putting the groceries away and she eventually spoke up as she moved around the kitchen with purpose, "Well for starters, I may have been putting off getting an oil change for my car."
"I've told you to stop doing that. You're gonna blow the engine and I won't even feel the slightest bit sorry for you."
"I know, I know. But this time my procrastinating works out in your favor! Not that you have to do anything at all, but seems how we're looking for some sort of labor exchange – that would legitimately help me seems how I wouldn't have to take it to a shop and be stuck in some weird mechanic's office all day. And yes, I see that soured look on your face where I know you don't think that's enough so…well...let me think." She continued moving around the kitchen and a sigh could be heard, "I guess if you pressed me for something that actually matters and isn't just chiding bullshit, I also need someone to take a look at my garbage disposal."
Levi looked up from his keyboard in attempts to catch her eye but Petra didn't notice and continued undaunted, "I think I got something stuck in it because it makes this weird noise every time I turn it on. The apartment complex is supposed to cover those things, but they said they won't be able to take a look at it until the start of next month since it's not a critical appliance. It's been over a week now as it is, and I'm not sure I'm willing to wait that long. The whole kitchen is starting to smell funky and I've already tried cleaners and candles - it's pretty awful to be honest."
Levi smirked at her confession, "Ah. So that's the real reason you're here I take it?"
Petra chuckled and gave a shrug, "Part of it, I suppose."
Levi's expression twisted and he crossed his arms in thought, "Well the oil change I get, but what exactly makes you think I know anything about your garbage disposal? In case you forgot, I work for a law firm - that's not exactly the kind of thing I have a lot of experience in."
Petra frowned and nodded in understanding, "It was just an idea I had - if you're not up for the task that's fine. Personally I couldn't care less if you don't 'pay me back' or whatever but I figured, since it's you, I'd give you the first shot when it comes to upkeep and repairs. Honestly I'd probably be better off calling someone anyway, so-"
There was a few clacking sounds from the keyboard and a resigned sigh, "Save your breath. I'll take a look at it tomorrow, okay?"
Petra gave a hesitant, surprised nod, "Tomorrow? Yeah I don't have anything going on, so that should work just fine."
She continued moving around the kitchen, eventually moving out of Levi's line of sight as she grabbed a few more things to put away in the cupboards, admittedly feeling guilty because she should have realized she was overstepping her bounds by proactively buying him things all the time.
Still though.
She paused from her task, double checking to make sure she couldn't be seen and only then allowing herself a beaming, giddy smile.
Apparently…Levi was coming over tomorrow.
...
End of Chapter
...
Here we go - an AU, welcome to the land of electricity, Starbucks, and student loans kind of story. While I don't outright hate the AOT universe, this sure is a breath of fresh air when compared to working out the mechanics of such an underdeveloped, lacking resources crisis sort of story. In regards towards updates, I have no clue! It's just been a while since I've posted anything and I felt like shaking off the dust.
See yall at the next update!