Stef's POV:
I can't believe it is her. Truly her. I am holding onto my daughter as she sobs for dear life. The daughter that was ripped from me almost 7 years ago. I hope this is proof enough for her to take the DNA test. I was 99% sure Gabriella was Ella before this interaction, but this was the concrete proof I needed to make it 100%. I am positive, without a doubt.
She calms down and is silently crying now. I can feel the tears on my neck and shirt. I can't stop the steam of tears from my eyes either. How long have I waited for this moment? To be reunited with my daughter. I wish Lena was here for this. She is going to be so disappointed she missed Gabriella, well Ella, acknowledging it. We are going to let Gabriella decide what she wants her name to be. Lena and I already talked about this. Before when we weren't positive if it was Ella, we decided we have to let her choose. You can't spend most of your life thinking you are named one thing and then all of a sudden be called the next. However, it is weird to me that whoever took her or wherever she was, Ella was in her name. I mean come on, really? GabriELLA? Not to mention she had Lena's middle name. Is that a coincidence or on purpose? Her birthdate is September 30th in her file but that is actually when she was kidnapped. Which means she thinks she is turning 14 in a couple weeks. She isn't. She isn't turning 14 until next August on the 17th. Which means she just turned 13 last month. I hope she isn't too disappointed. All of the details about her feel thought out. It had to have been planned. It wasn't a random kidnapping. She was targeted. I feel the anger rising inside of me. I am going to figure out who did this. I realize I am not giving my daughter the proper attention because I am so lost in thought, I pull myself back to reality and try to comfort her.
"Baby, are you okay?" She pulls back and looks at me, broken. My heart shatters. How many times can that happen, while you are living before it is fatal? "My love, what are you thinking?"
"I don't even know anymore. My head is spinning with so many thoughts, I don't know what to think." She says quietly. Her tears seemed to have stopped but she looks so lost.
"I am so sorry that this is so hard. While I am so glad you are back with me, I am sure it is so confusing and painful. I am sure you have so many questions. I am sure you have so many contradicting feelings, I can't even imagine honey." I am trying to give her whatever reassuring feelings I can. I have so many questions. But I know I can't ask her. Not until she is ready. That won't go well.
"Yeah."
"How can I help, sweets? What can I do?"
"Nothing. I think I would rather just be distracted and not have to think about everything right now. I am exhausted."
"We can do that. Why don't we go do something fun. What do you like to do?" I see her smile a little but she just shrugs.
"What sweets? You just thought of something."
"No I didn't." I just look at her, showing her I know that is not true. I am going to have to address the lying with her soon. She has lied so much in the short time I know her. I don't think she does it to be malicious and just for fun. I think she is scared to be open and share her thoughts. It is a learned behavior. She has always felt like she had to cover things up to survive. I am not going to address this with her right now though, it will be too much.
"Can I just go for a walk by myself?" She asks sweetly. Is she trying to butter me up? I can't help but smirk.
"I would rather you didn't go alone. Can you bring someone with you?"
"Why can't I go alone, I have lived… I mean I have done many things alone." She says kind of shortly. Was she about to say she has lived alone?
"Well, I would feel better if you had some company. This was pretty intense." I can tell she is trying to not have an attitude with me. At least she is trying. I have a feeling she was never truly parented after us and it seems like her learning to listen to us is going to be a big challenge.
"Okay, fine. I'll take Jesus." This surprises me. Have they even had a conversation before? But, at least she won't be alone. Although Mariana is going to be upset, I know she will feel left out.
"Okay."
"Thanks," she says and is out the door.
Well, I will use this time to go tell Lena everything that just happened.
Gabriella's POV:
Well, that was unexpected. Even for me. But Jesus seemed like the best choice. Stef and Lena will want to talk or be too aware of my feelings. Mariana will ask me tons of questions. Jude is younger, but I feel like I don't know what to say to him or what he even likes. Brandon kind of seems stuck up. I know if I bring Callie, Mariana will feel more left out than if I bring anyone else. Jesus seems like we could just chill or do something and he wouldn't pry. So I chose him. I am definitely more of a sporty tomboy who likes to look cute. I know Jesus will vibe with that. Plus, I saw him skateboarding. I love to surf and am decent, maybe he could teach me how to skateboard. I knock on his door, nervous. What if he doesn't want to go?
"Come in!" It's Jude.
"Hey!" Jude smiles widely as I open the door. He is seating on his bed reading. He is so sweet.
"Hey! Sorry to bother you, is Jesus here?"
"Oh yeah, come in. He is on his computer but his headphones are in. He can't hear anything."
I look over to Jesus who is at his desk and walk over. I tap him on the shoulder and he jumps a little and looks up to me. He smiles and removes his headphones. I literally have never had a full conversation with this kid but he seems to be the best choice.
"Hey," he says. He seems slightly surprised I am here.
"Hi, want to teach me how to skateboard and go to the skateboard park?" His eyes light up.
"Really?"
"Yeah, well I love to surf and I mean it's like that but kind of on land right? I mean, I am sure it will be hard but I kind of want to get out of the house."
"Okay! I will have to ask moms." He says, I can tell he is excited.
"Well, Stef said we could go on a walk."
"Oh, okay, I guess it is the same. I have an extra skateboard. Let's go!" He gets up quickly. He is excited. Thank God. I feel like he is going to be the one I will do sporty things with. I need one of those people in my life.
Lena's POV:
I hear the door open and close while I am in the kitchen making dinner. I walk to the living room, and look out the window to see Jesus and Gabriella walking away. Huh. With skateboards? I hope she knows how to do that. It makes me nervous. I walk back into the kitchen. Well, at least they are bonding.
"Who was that?" Mariana asks who is making a salad.
"That was Jesus and Gabriella, they look like they are going to the skate park." Mariana frowns.
"Why wasn't I invited?" I look at her incredulously.
"Honey, do you even like skateboarding?"
"No, but they could have asked, I would have gone and watched." I can hear the disappointment in her voice. This will be interesting. I can see that Gabriella and Mariana are friends. Which means it is going to be hard for Mariana to want to share her. Yet, Gabriella will likely bond with all the kids at some point. Hopefully, especially if she is our daughter. We will have to work through this with Mariana.
"I am sorry sweetheart." I don't know what else to say because I know she isn't in a place to hear that she is going to have to share.
Stef walks down the stairs and looks at me. I can see her face. She has been crying. She nods for me to come up the stairs.
"Mariana, I will be back in a few. Once you are done with the salad please cover it and put it in the fridge until dinner. Thank you, baby."
I walk up the stairs following Stef into our bedroom a little nervous.
"Lena, that is Ella." Stef says right as I close the door. I look at her, not sure what to feel.
"Okay, I know we think that, but we need to be positive before we get our hopes up."
"No, I am positive Lena."
Stef keeps going as she retells me everything that has happened. I can't help but cry as she continues. I can't believe that happened. I can't help but be sad that I missed it. I finally stop crying enough to speak and Stef and I are hugging each other.
"I can't believe it. I am thrilled, but this is crazy. A good crazy, but I have so many thoughts, feelings and emotions. I am sure you do too, Stef. Gabriella as well. We should probably get her into therapy. Do you think she will take a DNA test? I know we know the truth, but I think for everyone's mind having it on paper will be best. Then we should be granted full custody immediately and she can get out of the system. We shouldn't have to adopt her or anything because she is our child and was taken. We didn't give her up."
"Yes, I agree. I have no idea, but I think she knows we are her parents now so I assume she would be fine with it. She seems like she has a lot of anger towards us, though. She let me in to an extent but we still failed her as parents. We still lost her. Who knows how she will react moving forward. She struggles with authority too. I am not sure how she will be. I hope she can forgive us, but I know we all have a ton to work through. She doesn't remember a lot which scares me. What happened to make her forget so much?"
"I don't know, but it scares me too. Whatever it is, we deal with it. We won't fail her again."
"Mama, Mom, I am sorry to interrupt but Jesus and Gabriella are back and Gabriella has a giant scrape all up her leg and it is bleeding a lot." Mariana must have run up the stairs because she is slightly out of breath saying this.
"Stef, grab the first aid kit," I say running down the stairs. Jesus is sitting next to Gabriella on the hardwood floor by the door. Her leg is covered in paper towels. The blood is soaking through.
"Oh honey, I am so sorry." I run to the kitchen, grab a small garbage bag, and take the paper towels off her leg. I give her fresh ones and throw the blood soaked ones in the bag. The blood is already going through. I am wondering if we have to take her to the hospital. It looks like a surface wound, not deep but it is bleeding so much.
"What happened?" I say, worriedly. Stef runs down the stairs with the first aid kit and sits next to Gabriella. She lifts off the paper towels to access the damage. It starts right below her knee and goes half way down her leg.
"I am sorry," she looks like she is going to cry. "Jesus was teaching me how to skateboard. I was doing fine. I got ahead of myself and wanted to try a trick. Jesus told me not to, but I did it anyway. I am really sorry." Her eyes start watering.
"Sweets, it's okay. We aren't mad, we just want to get you cleaned up. Since this is so big I think we should take you to the bathroom and put your leg over the tub. We can wash it out with some warm water and gentle soap. I can see some gravel in it. We need to clean it out so it doesn't get infected." Stef says very kindly.
"I can take care of it." Gabriella says, looking afraid.
"Sweetheart, we won't hurt you. We just want to get this taken care of," I try.
"Well, I can do it." I sigh, I don't know how to help her. Gabriella hasn't made eye contact with me since she got home. She must know Stef told me what happened and is feeling nervous. I don't miss the look she gives Mariana asking for help. I am glad Mariana at least makes her feel safe, but I want her to know she is safe with Stef and I. Yet, she probably thought that as a kid and then she got kidnapped. I can't help the guilt. It hits me like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden I feel bile in my throat. I don't have a choice. I stand up and run to the downstairs bathroom throwing up. I feel my hair being put into a bun on my head. I throw up three more times. I look over and see Callie sitting there rubbing my back. I can't help but smile at her in thanks. I would have been so grossed out if I threw up on my hair. I stand up and rinse my mouth out with water. I feel worse than I did before. I felt guilty about letting everything she went through get to me so much I threw up, then here I am not helping her again. I walk back out of the bathroom and see Stef carrying Gabriella up the stairs as Mariana keeps the paper towel on her leg. She must be in a lot of pain if she can't walk. I start feeling guilty for leaving her. Of course Stef gets her to accept help. I really suck as a Mom. I take a deep breath and will myself not to get sick again. I need to suck it up and help my child. The child I haven't been there for.
I get it together and follow them up the stairs. Stef sets her on the edge of the tub and I am already getting the soap out from under the sink. I don't say much as Stef helps support her. I turn the water on lukewarm and gently move her leg under the water. She hisses.
"I am sorry sweetheart. I am so sorry this happened and you are in pain." I try to comfort her. "We will give you some advil once we get this wrapped up." I take the soap and gently move it onto her leg. She grips the side of the tub. I see Stef take her hand and she squeezes it tight. I can't help the jealousy course through me. I want Stef to have a good relationship with her obviously, that makes me happy, but I am jealous I missed the moment they had. Gabriella has seemed to let some walls down with Stef because of it. What if she doesn't let me in now? I scold myself for my immature thoughts and get back to work helping my daughter.
We get her cleaned up and dried. We set her on the floor and Stef is wrapping her up while she leans against the tub. I can't help but rub her arm and I am reassured that she is letting me. She even moves her body into me a little bit. Thank god.
"There, you are all set." Stef says, tapping her foot lightly.
"Thanks," she mumbles, not looking at us. Mariana is sitting on her other side. Her attachment to Mariana makes me curious. Is she worried we will hurt her? Afraid to be alone with us because she feels vulnerable? Is she mad at us and Mariana helps her not freak out? I can't decide or figure it out.
"Do you think you can walk? We could help you get down to the breakfast nook," Stef asks.
"I think I can walk," Gabriella says.
"Does it hurt to walk," I ask this time. Gabriella shrugs. So, yes.
"Let us help then honey, Stef or I can carry you again."
"No, no it's fine."
"Sweets, I would feel better at least until we get advil in you," Stef says reassuringly.
"Okay, fine."
I watch Stef pick her up and walk out the door. She is still so little and light. I make a mental note to make a doctors appointment to see how malnourished she is. "Mariana, can you follow them and get her some water?" Mariana nods. I walk to our room and get some advil from the safe. All medications are locked up when you have foster children. I can't help but think about if we get custody back of Gabriella, we won't have to lock our medications up. The thought gives me comfort.
Gabriella's POV:
Ugh, I can't believe I got myself hurt. On my second day staying here. I also have a soccer game this weekend. Lena had me not go to soccer practice today, Coach gave her the word, which pissed me off, but I ignored it. Now, I am hurt. I am a starter. I literally don't care what they say, I am playing in this game and doing practice tomorrow. It's Thursday and the game is Friday night at the stadium. I have never played under the lights before. Since I am on varsity I get to now. I am so excited. I also love Coach Johnson so I am glad I got put with her. The JV team has a different coach. I had no idea I made varsity until I went to try out. There is one other freshman with me and one sophomore. I like them though, they are nice and we got along great when I went to the first practice. The rest are mostly juniors and seniors. They all seemed pretty nice to be honest. A couple of them seemed a little bitchy, but I am used to it.
Stef is sitting next to me rubbing my back as Lena gives me advil and Mariana hands me water. All this attention is a lot. I can't help but squirm a little. I think Stef gets the memo and takes her hand off my back. It's so confusing. I want to embrace them and love them but I also feel so angry. If they were my parents, they didn't find me. They let me get kidnapped. They took in four other kids while I was out there suffering. What, was I replaced? Sometimes I can see it isn't their fault. Then other times I totally blame them for everything that happened to me. Who took me? When? Is Elizabeth my real middle name? I know they called me Ella, but was that short for Gabriella or is that not even my name? I get so frustrated and have so many questions, most of the time my walls shoot up. I don't want to get close enough to ask them. Then there are times I feel my care for them and I let my walls down and want to be close to them. I don't know what to do.
"That should kick in soon," Lena says, patting my shoulder. I can't look at her. I am too worried. We connected so much when I first met her. Now I am probably her daughter. It feels less risky to let Stef in for some reason. I think I am afraid to accept the truth. Afraid of what will happen and what will come. All that we will have to deal with. I am in denial. Since I met Lena I secretly wished she could be my mom. She literally is. So now that it is true, it feels so overwhelming I feel like I have to run from it to be able to breathe a little. Mostly because I couldn't handle losing her. Or Stef. I am growing attached to her too. I am afraid to find out the truth of everything. What did I go through that I don't remember? I am terrified. I am terrified and worried. I know I will break down and let my walls down more than I already have, so I avoid her. Our connection was so strong it scares me. Now she is my mom? It is too much. I refuse to accept that I am their kid. I will just think of them as foster parents and ignore the memories.
"Why don't you sit here while we finish dinner. It is already late. That should kick in soon honey," Stef says standing up with Lena.
We all eat and I don't say much. My leg feels a little better just sitting here, but they let me stay at the breakfast nook and I didn't argue. I would much rather avoid having to be close to them all and engage in conversation. What are we going to even talk about? The kids have no idea who I am. I feel like I am lying to Mariana. I sit here and eat silently, suddenly very hungry. They ask me if I am okay here or there but everyone mostly leaves me alone, which I am thankful for. They must have realized I don't feel like talking with my one worded responses. My leg isn't that bad, it's mostly how it stings so bad when I walk. I have to get used to it because of soccer. Everyone is kind of done so I walk to the sink and do the best job I can without limping or showing any indication it hurts. Even though, it does. I start doing the dishes.
"Sweets, you don't need to do that. I know you are in pain," Stef says, trying to guide me away. I don't let her.
"Actually, I feel fine. The advil helped with the initial pain and now I can move around just fine. Thank you though." I feel Stef sigh. I ignore her and keep doing the dishes. Does she know I am lying?
I don't stop until the kitchen is completely done. Stef and Lena both tried to get me to stop two more times each, I refused. What, are they going to force me? I am not skipping soccer over anything. They will have to drag me kicking and screaming.
"Thank you for helping, even though I am worried it hurt your leg," Lena shared. I still haven't looked in her eyes. Do I chance it? I look at her quick but she isn't looking at me. Phew. I look at Stef who is. Great. She gives me a soft smile. Of course she would notice I am avoiding Lena. I can't help the involuntary eye roll as I force myself to walk away without limping. My leg is burning and pulsing. It feels like all the moving around broke the skin worse. I can't check though because then I will need more supplies, I don't even know where to get them. Well, they are probably in the bathroom. I guess I could go look.
I make my way up the stairs. Finally out of view from everyone. I lean against the wall and put my head back. Shit, my leg hurts. Am I even going to be able to play? Tears fill my eyes from the pain and the thought I may miss my game. I am an idiot.
"You okay?"
I jump and look over to see Brandon standing there.
"Uh, yeah I am fine, sorry, didn't know anyone was around."
"Your leg hurts doesn't it?" I freeze, if this kid tells on me, I will kill him. Are we biologically related? I mean who carried me. Stef or Lena? You would think it was Lena because I am mixed, but maybe Stef was with a black man or they got a black donor. I don't know.
"I'm fine."
"No, you are not."
"What exactly do you want here? To tell on me? I am playing in my soccer game this weekend and I don't want them to know, so don't ruin this for me." I can't help but resent him. He got to stay here with them. At least the other four were in need of a home. He was kept here and safe while I was taken god knows where. The jealousy fills me and I can't help but feel hatred towards him.
"Goodness, sorry I was just going to ask if you needed anything. Sorry for being so concerned," he snapped back. I feel a little guilty, but my feelings of resentment outweigh my empathy. He starts walking down the stairs but before going down, turns around and says, " I won't say anything." Then he is gone. Thank god.
I go into the kids bathroom and look for more gauze and tape. Nothing. That means the medical supplies are in Stef and Lena's bathroom. Their bedroomdoor is open. They are downstairs. I peek my head in their bedroom and no one is in there. I quickly walk in and go in the bathroom, only to be face to face with Lena. Shit. What do I say?
"Uh, hi." She smiles, I have finally made eye contact.
"Hi sweetheart. What are you doing?" I am terrified I will get in trouble for snooping.
"Uhm… I was… I was looking for you." I curse myself. Now she will want to talk, but it may be the only thing to distract her enough.
"Oh!" I think she is surprised. "Well, I am glad you came looking for me. I wanted to talk with you anyways. But what did you need?" I don't know what to say.
"Well, nothing I just…" I avoid eye contact again.
"Honey, come here." Lena pulls me into the room to sit on their bed with her. "Why are you avoiding me? I know this must be so overwhelming but I love you. I am here for you."
This makes me mad. Very mad. I stand up and shout.
"You don't LOVE me! You don't even know me!" Lena looks shocked and I see Stef at the door looking just as shocked as Lena does. She must have been walking in when I stood up.
"Honey, of course I do, you are my daughter."
"You THINK I am."
"Gabriella," Stef chimes in, "You really think you aren't after the memory you got earlier?"
"I don't know. That could just be our mind. How many kids hide in a store? It probably happens all the time."
"I know you don't really believe that, sweets. I could tell by how you responded earlier. I know this is hard and scary. I know-"
"You DON'T know," I scream. "If I am your daughter, you obviously didn't care enough to find me. Or you wouldn't even let me get taken in the first place. If you are my parents, I want nothing to do with you!" I can't stop. All the rage is coming out.
"Honey, we don't know, you are right. When we say we know, we are trying to communicate that we are trying to understand. We are trying to see it from your perspective. Not that we understand completely." I look at Lena. Everything they are saying is going to annoy me at this point. I just know.
"We love you-" I cut Stef off.
"You DO NOT. You DON'T know me Stef. You love a version of me. You haven't been around me. You don't know anything about me, only the first however many years I was with you in the beginning of my life. That is all you kind of know. If I am even your daughter!"
"Honey, we know you. We know parts of you. Little quirks, things that I can see are the same. We may have missed some of your life but we love you and that is never going to change! You are our daughter." I just look at her. I can't do this with them.
"No, my only connection to you is potentially sharing biology with one of you. That is it. You don't know me. You don't know me at all. If my only connection to you is DNA, then I guess it doesn't really matter that much anyways. DNA doesn't make a family remember, love does. It's right on the stairs, so really, we are nothing to each other. I HATE YOU BOTH!" I rush out of the room, slamming their door in the process and run outside as fast as I can, not looking back.
I am trying to tie this all together but make it realistic at the same time with everyone's thoughts and feelings. Thank you sooo much to those who are leaving reviews! - Stefanina123