Chapter 14: We Love Twenty Questions

Notes:

Just a warning, there is a lot of suicide attempts in this chapter. They're not graphic or anything he's just vaguely explaining what he's tried, but if that is something that is sensitive for you, please feel free to just skip over that part. It begins with, "UGH! WHY WON'T I FREAKING DIE ALREADY???" and ends with, "Although, he was on the verge of at least taking a break."

This was a terrible idea.

Maybe the worst possible thing he could've agreed to. There were so many questions Eraser could ask that Izuku just wouldn't be able to answer. But would he let him dodge?

He should've just walked away and told the hero that he'd see him tomorrow…so why hadn't he?

Perhaps it was Izuku's disregard for his life and anything that had to do with it, but he knew that he couldn't die yet, so why would he risk making things harder for himself? Did he actually like Eraserhead?

Sure, the hero had been around for a while and had helped Izuku out, but that didn't mean that they were…friends, right? Would that even be the right thing? Eraser could probably be-well not his dad, but still. Was it weird to be friends with someone almost twice your age?

Was the answer so important?

Yes. The entirety of Izuku's life there was only one adult who truly cared for him and here this man was, grumpy and homeless looking, looking after him just because. There was nothing that he could gain from it, so why was Eraser there? Why did he care?

Izuku needed to know. And he was willing to give answers to get it.

"Well?" Izuku's voice seemed to bring the hero out of his train of thought.

"Alright, first question: how old are you?"

Ugh. Why was Eraser like this?

"…I just turned fifteen." Izuku hated this already. He didn't want to give out any more information about himself than was necessary. What if him and Tsukauchi figured out that he was dead and orphaned? What would they do?

Maybe throw him in another orphanage? Put him in the system? No. That wasn't going to happen, Izuku wouldn't let it.

Eraserhead seemed surprised by his answer, but not as much so as he thought that he would be. To be fair, Izuku didn't exactly look old, so it wasn't that big of a stretch.

"Okay, my turn. Why did you stick around after your first met me?" Izuku wasn't going to beat around the bush. He had questions that he wanted answered and he wanted to get his done and over with.

It took the hero a minute to answer, but when he did Izuku thought he saw the smallest trace of a smile. "You intrigued me."

"What does that even mean?"

"Ah, ah, ah, it's my turn now." Now he was actually smirking at a scowling Izuku who huffed and crossed his little arms. "Are you in school?"

This was a trick question and they both knew it. Izuku had to accept that it wouldn't take Eraser and Tsukauchi too long to figure out that he was Izuku Midoriya, because there weren't too many 'dead' kids that looked like he did.

It was kind of a relief. Izuku's inner monologue was like seventy-five percent death jokes, and he thought that Eraserhead might enjoy them, so he was glad that he was able to take that filter off of himself while he was around him. It was also just nice to not have to pretend or keep as many secrets.

"Kinda hard to be in school when you're 'dead'."

The hero's face was difficult to read. His expression was tired as always, but there seemed to be an extra bit of 'seriously' added and the hint of a smile that he was forcing down. It was hilarious.

"Alright, that's fair."

"What do you mean by I intrigued you?"

"I saw a kid jumping across roof tops and face plant. That's pretty interesting."

Izuku's eyes squinted as he looked at the nonchalant hero. He thought that this was a game. "Can you be serious please?"

"That sounds like another question."

"Eraserhead."

The hero's smirk dropped at the tone of Izuku's voice, and he cleared his throat. "I don't actually know. You were just some random kid that I just so happened to meet, so why was it so important that I see you? Why did it scare me so much to think that you were out fighting criminals and risking your life with no experience? Well, I guess that worrying was kind of pointless considering that you can't die, but still."

Hmm. That was actually more than I expected to get out of him.

"Your turn."

"What exactly is your quirk?"

Izuku's brows furrowed, "I don't have a-" His mouth slammed shut before he could finish his sentence. That wasn't true anymore…

"What, you don't have a quirk? Kid, we both know that that's a lie."

All emotion trickled out of Izuku as if a bathtub was being drained. Anytime the topic of quirks had been brought up when he was younger he had the same reaction. A beating or bullying usually followed quirk-related conversations, so Izuku shut down as a way to protect himself. It seems that the habit was still active.

It didn't help that Izuku wasn't too happy with the cards that he had been dealt. How ironic was it that all of his life, he had been bullied and looked down on because he didn't have a quirk, and then when he was ready to leave, when he was finally going to have some peace, he figures out that his 'quirk' makes it so that he can't die. The one thing that he wants to do above anything else.

How was that fair?

Izuku looked Eraserhead directly in the eyes, feeling absolutely nothing. "I don't have a quirk. I have a curse."

It took a second for Izuku to come back to himself, all the while Shouta just stared at the kid in shock. A million thoughts running through his mind.

The kid wants to die that badly? That he would go as far as to say that his quirk was a curse…

It hurt. It hurt so bad to hear him say that. To watch someone so young with so much potential be so devoid of life and feelings in regard to himself. It was terrifying.

With that type of attitude, what was stopping him from snapping and deciding that society had screwed him over so completely, why not do the same to it? The kid could absolutely do it too, which was what was so terrifying.

They were walking a thin line, and if Serpentine crossed it, Shouta didn't know if he'd be able to stop him.

So then…why hadn't he turned? From what little he knew, the kid had been through more than enough to 'justify' it. And especially with how he's been acting recently, it's weird that he's still on their side per say. He was still a vigilante and was still fighting illegally, but he was doing it to help people. Why?

Shouta wanted to ask so badly, but he knew that if he did, he wouldn't get a real answer. What he was getting now was a miracle in of itself. He needed to dig just below the surface, coasting just below the line to keep the kid from running.

"What is your and the detective's relationship?"

The question caught Shouta off guard. "You mean Tsukauchi?" He nodded. "Um, he's one of those friends I mentioned. We've worked together ever since I graduated, and he's become one of my best friends. Why do you ask?"

"Is that your question?"

Oh, he was good. The little turd- "No…" Eraser scowled for a moment, before deciding what to ask next. "What about your family?" Not too deep…

Alright Eraser, getting personal, are we?

This was dangerous territory. "You're going to have to be more specific."

"Do you have any?"

Izuku swallowed the vile that crept up his throat, "I have-had a mom."

He knew as soon as he said it that he had said too much. Why did he have to correct himself? This opened up too many doors for possible questions that Izuku did not want to answer. Ugh, he was such an idiot…

"Did something happen to her?" Wait, maybe he was digging too deep.

"Pass."

Eraser shot a look at Izuku that he refused to meet. He just kept on staring forward and hoped that the hero would take the hint and drop it. "Alright…what about your dad?" Back off a bit Shouta, don't drive him away.

Izuku kept staring forward, the wind ruffling his hair enough that a small strand came out from his bun and he had to tuck it behind his ear. "Never knew him."

"I see." The hero followed Izuku's gaze and switched his sitting position. "That must be hard."

"Next question. Do you know who I am?" Izuku was tired of this conversation. He needed to end it, but there were still a few things he needed to know first, and he might not get another change to ask.

Eraser sighed loudly and let out a half of a sad laugh. "We tried. Went through the entire system looking for green hair and green-eyed kids in Japan and came up with nothing. Although now that some other things are known, it might be a bit easier to narrow it down." He paused before he looked at Izuku again, "You're dead, aren't you?"

Izuku gave the hero a 'really?' look and gestured to his very much alive body.

"You know what I mean! Officially you're dead. That's why we couldn't find you, because we were looking for kids who were still considered alive."

The two of them let that realization sink in. Izuku was honestly surprised that it took him this long to figure that out, but sometimes people were oblivious to things that they didn't want to see.

Eraser was the one to finally break the silence, "Does anyone know? That you're still alive, I mean."

Izuku took a breath, determining whether or not to answer the question honestly or just avoid it. But he knew that if he did, that would be the answer in of itself, so might as well tell the truth.

"Nope. Just you and Tsuki."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't. I don't want an apology." He didn't mean for it to come out as cold as it did. And from the way that Eraser flinched, he knew that it was probably worse than he thought.

What did he expect? These were touchy subjects and Izuku wasn't exactly an open person. He didn't even mean to say this much, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

"I think I'm going to go home. See you later Eraser."

Without even waiting for the hero's response, Izuku left. He kept replaying their conversation in his head as he made his way back and every time he did, he regretted it more and more.

He didn't need this. He didn't need whatever this was with Eraser. What he needed was to be gone and that was something that obviously wasn't going to happen on its own any time soon. So maybe it was time for Izuku to get creative…

"UGH! WHY WON'T I FREAKING DIE ALREADY???"

Izuku's voiced echoed throughout the empty apartment as he tried to calm his breaths that were big and loud. He was at his limit.

He had tried every trick in the book, from blood loss to suffocation to gunshot through the head. (How he got a gun, don't ask. He snatched it off of one of the many criminals he took down every night and decided to try and put it to 'good' use)

Nothing had worked, he just kept on coming back again and again and he was pissed.

Every time he 'went under' as he called it, it was something. Sometimes it would be Katsuki, sometimes he would have to relive his childhood, one time he had to go through the loss of his mother all over again. There was no rhyme or reason to what he saw when he was 'gone', one time he had even seen what his life might look like if none of this had ever happened. He came back in tears after that one.

Actually, he found himself waking up in tears more often than not. Izuku had refused to cry while he was conscious, but those feelings had to be dwelt with one way or another and apparently his psyche had decided that it would punish him through his dreams and when he was dead.

One thing that did come out of all of this though, was that Izuku was starting to understand his quirk better now.

The time between when he 'died' and when he 'came back' differed and that made him think that he might eventually be able to control how long it took him to come back. He had a theory that right now his mind had a lot to do with what he saw and how long he was out for, but if he learned to control that…

He also found out that he came back pretty much unscathed, the only thing that indicated that he died at all were the scars. It seemed that every time he received a fatal injury, that injury healed along with the rest of his body, but it scared for some reason.

Maybe it was a mental thing? Dying wasn't exactly easy, so it wasn't too far of a stretch.

But whenever he saw Eraserhead he would have to try to hide and come up with creative explanations as to why he had been getting so many new scars. The hardest one by far was the bullet hole scar, but that one was on either sides of his head and could be covered with his hair if he styled it a certain way. The only thing was that the hair over the two little scars stopped growing so it was noticeable if you looked hard enough. But he doubted that people's first thought would be a bullet scar, so he wasn't too worried.

He did have a few scars on his wrists from when he bled out, and he really didn't like them, but that was before he knew he would start developing scars from what he died from. It's hard to scar from falling from a building, so it wasn't apparent until he died from something visible on his body. It was kind of annoying, but Izuku wasn't one to give up. Although, he was on the verge of at least taking a break.

For one, he was tired, like exponentially tired. And it got worse every time he died. That was another theory he had, that his body healed itself kinda like how Recovery Girl's quirk healed others, by using their stamina.

And the other reason was that he was running out of ideas on how to die. There was only so much you can do when you live alone in an abandoned apartment with limited money and resources.

It might be a good idea to take a break and decompress. At least he wouldn't have to deal with his mind until he went to sleep. So that meant that he needed a distraction and what better distraction was there than (allegedly) illegally beating up criminals?

Notes:

(I just imagine the two of them continuing the game and Izuku just messing with Aizawa so much and it goes like this:

"My turn, what's your name?"

"I-" Izuku paused and snapped his mouth shut. Sure, he could just tell Eraser his name, he was going to figure it out one way or another. But on the other hand, it was a lot more fun to torture him. The kid's lips pulled into a smirk as he looked at the hero, "I'd rather not say."

Eraserhead groans in the distance*)

I hope that you enjoyed the chapter! Please leave a comment letting me know your thoughts so far and any theories you might have because y'all are extremely creative.

I'm excited for next chapter because we get to meet someone new and omg I'm literally so excited for this character to be in this story!!!

Thanks for reading