Gabriella's POV:
I can't believe they are letting me play. I know I am lucky. I feel so bad for lying about pain medication but I don't have a choice. I won't be able to play if I don't take it. I even thought about confessing and just saying I took advil, but I can't. Then I would be telling them I got in the safe. They will be so upset. I wonder if Stef's gun safe is the same code? Stef would kill me if I got in there but I can't help but be curious what else is in there. Not that I have any interest in guns.
I was so excited about my game tomorrow. I was more talkative than I have ever been since getting here. I think everyone was a little surprised, but I didn't even care.
In the midst of my nightmares last night I had a happier dream. It felt very real and I was very curious about it. Everyone was kind of doing their own thing after we finished dinner, but I wanted to find Lena. I wanted to ask her about my dream. I went to her bedroom and the door was shut. I took a deep breath and knocked. I hear "just a second" and then the door pops open revealing Stef. She smiles wide.
"Hi sweets, what's up?" I feel bad asking for Lena, what do I say?
"Uhm… I don't know." Stef laughs.
"Baby, you knocked on the door, is everything okay?"
"Yes, well… I was kind of looking for Lena. I wanted to ask her a question. I'm sorry." Stef smiles and rubs my arm.
"Honey, it's okay. You won't hurt my feelings because you are looking for Lena okay?" I just nod. "She isn't in here though. Last I heard she was outside pulling some weeds before it got dark."
"Okay, thanks," I say quickly, kind of running away.
I walk downstairs and look for Lena out the kitchen window. I see her back turned to the house and see her pulling up weeds. I walk outside quietly, not to startle her. Before I lose courage I call for her.
"Mama." I say nervously. I see Lena freeze. She slowly stands up and then turns around. There are tears in her eyes. I think she could tell it was me.
"I started that didn't I?" I look at her with a smile. She smiles at me and starts crying.
"You remember?" I can tell she is excited. She takes her gloves off and then sets them on the picnic table. She grabs me by the shoulder and guides me to the comfortable outdoor chairs. She looks at me, encouraging me to continue.
"I had a dream last night. In between the nightmares" I pause and cringe. She rubs my leg sympathetically. "I was with you and we were snuggling. We did that a lot didn't we?" I chuckle. She chuckles too, tears falling and nodding her head.
"I looked at you and said, "You're Mama, Mama." You laughed and said, "I am your Mama." I laughed and said, "Yes Mama. You are Mama, but Mommy is Mommy. You can't be Mommy and Mommy can't be Mama. You are Mama." You looked at me and said, "So I am Mama and Mommy is Mommy?" Then I giggled really hard and said, "EXACTLY!" Since then, everyone called you Mama and they called Stef Mom, didn't they?"
"Yes, they did. You did start it. You decided I was Mama and Stef was Mommy." She wipes some more tears.
"You are definitely a Mama, Lena." She looks at me sweetly and curious. "You are kind and generous. Good by nature. You are beautiful and graceful. You see the good in people, but especially your kids. You want what is best for us and you exude a soft nurturing energy that makes you approachable. It makes me want to be near you. You make me feel emotionally safe. Like I could trust you to hold my heart in your hands and I know you wouldn't break it. You would guard it with your life. Only a Mama could do that." My cheeks are definitely red as I say these things, but I can't help it. I keep feeling closer and closer to them as I get more memories. Lena can't stop crying and I don't mind. I just get really close and hug her. We hold each other. I can't help but cry too. I cry for all the hugs, snuggles and years I missed with my Mama.
It is finally Friday after school. I have two hours to be at home before I get to play in my game and I am so excited I am bouncing off the walls. I get to Lena's car and she is waiting there.
"I am going to walk!" I yell practically running. I took half a codeine this morning and am going to take one right before the game. My leg doesn't even hurt. It is amazing!
"Honey, wait!" Lena laughs. "Save your energy!"
"I can't!" I sprint all the way home feeling amazing! I can't help it. I get home and immediately put my jersey on. I am so excited. Mariana barges in just as I change.
"I can't wait to watch you play!" This surprises me!
"You are coming?"
"We all are!"
"Really?"
"Of course. We can't wait!" Wow.
Stef's POV:
I can't wait to see Gabriella play. We are heading there now. Lena took her early as she has to be there 45 minutes before the game starts, but the rest of us just pulled into the parking lot. I checked the online portal before we left, but it didn't have anything about the DNA test yet. I was disappointed. I have no doubt it is going to be positive. She knew the memory about her deciding Lena's name is Mama. I mean how would she know that if she wasn't our daughter? I just can't wait to give Gabriella that peace of mind. I want custody of my daughter. Her social worker is informed of all that is going on. If it is positive, she will no longer be a ward of the state and she will legally be our child. Then we deal with telling the kids.
We walk up to the field and see Lena already on the bleachers. The game starts in five minutes so they are done warming up. Two teammates walk out to the field and I am surprised to see Gabriella is one of them. She has a captain band on her leg. What! She didn't tell us she was captain!?
We watch the game and Gabriella is amazing. She is by far one of the best players on the team. Not only is she always supporting everyone she made two goals so far and has helped defense many times. I can't believe she is so good. I mean, I can, but it is amazing to see with my own eyes. The game ends with Anchor Beach winning 5 - 3. Gabriella scored three of the goals. I am so proud. She walks up to us as the game finishes. I can't help but walk up to her and squeeze her tight. She is all sweaty, but I don't mind one bit.
"Honey! You are so amazing. You killed it! Good job baby, I am so proud of you!" She blushes a deep red as her cheeks turn color. I think it is so cute when she does that.
Lena comes up and hugs her next. "Sweetheart, you played so hard. You worked your butt off, I am so proud of you as well. You are so talented babe."
"Thanks guys," Gabriella smiles.
All the kids congratulate her genuinely and it makes my heart melt.
"Honey, why didn't you tell us you were the captain?" I ask.
She blushes again. "I didn't know. Coach did it tonight before the game. She wanted two captains but I guess they couldn't decide on the second one yet. Well we did a vote, even though Coach does have the final say. They all voted and it was almost unanimous. The one girl who didn't vote for me was being really rude to everyone at practice the last few days. I guess she is not very nice in general. She is a senior. So I stood up to her and told her that we won't do well if we are against each other and it is not okay how she is treating everyone. I did it right in front of the Coach too. Everyone must have been impressed I guess because they all voted for me. Coach approved it. She told me I am a natural born leader and I was the first person to stand up to her. The girl even got a little nicer after my speech I guess. Coach was impressed. I am shocked honestly."
"Wow, good job babe. That is so amazing. I am proud of you for standing up to her," I say. She shrugs. I just laugh and pull her in for another hug. "Who wants to celebrate with ice cream!?" Lena rolls her eyes as everyone cheers and I see Gabriella chuckle. I wink at her and pull her to the car with my arm wrapped around her. It is going to be hard for me not to spoil her, because of all the time I lost with her.
We all get ice cream and I can tell Gabriella is nervous to be treated. "Come on babe, get some ice cream with me. What do you want." She shrugs. "Do you like ice cream?" Another shrug. "Baby are you okay?" Shrug. I look in her eyes and there are tears in it.
I pull her to the side and we sit down on a bench.
"Sweets, what's wrong?" She shrugs.
"Baby, please, if you shrug one more time I am going to think you have gone mute." She lets out a small smile and I am grateful to get some reaction.
"I just…" She stops as a tear falls. I wipe it with the pad of my thumb. "You just what, hmm?"
"This is just so normal," she pauses as more tears fall. "It is just hard to do this stuff. Play soccer, have a family watching. Celebrating something with an ice cream run. It's stuff I have never had. It is great in many ways but it just makes me think of all the things I missed out on. All the things I missed out on with you. With you and Lena. It hurts sometimes, I went through some really dark things and I should have been here. Here with you. I can't help but feel sad and mad sometimes. I am sorry. I feel like I am ruining the night." My heart breaks.
"Oh baby, you aren't ruining the night. It is perfectly okay. All the feelings you are having are very real. It is okay to feel happy and sad at the same time. It's okay to be mad too. I get sad and think about the time we lost. I just get grateful that we still have time. That I found you now at 13, not 30! I still get some of your childhood. I get what you mean. You have been through so much and it's okay to feel all that you are. I promise. It's hard and it must feel overwhelming to think you have no family to find out you actually have 7 family members! Then to learn how to open up and accept it. All while slowly remembering things. I can't even imagine, baby." She just nods as more tears fall. I bring her in for a hug.
"Are we okay over here?" Lena asks, coming with two ice creams in hand. "I got your favorite Stef. Gabriella, I couldn't help but notice that you were having a hard time deciding. So I got what you liked as a kid." I smile as Lena hands her a chocolate vanilla twist in a cone with rainbow sprinkles. "Here." Gabriella slowly takes it and smiles.
"Thank you. That is actually still my favorite." I wink at Lena. Good call Mama. Lena walks over and gives her a kiss on the forehead.
"I am sorry," Gabriella says embarrassed.
"Hey," Lena starts. "Honey this is such an adjustment. It is okay. Don't apologize for having emotions. We will get through this together, okay?" Gabriella nods.
Gabriella's POV:
The codeine has definitely worn off. It is 2:45am and my leg is killing me. I go to the bathroom and take the bandage off and it is rubbed raw. I need more medication but Stef and Lena are sleeping. What do I do? Can I sneak in there?
I very quietly go over to Stef and Lena's room and walk in. I leave the door slightly ajar so it doesn't click again. I tip toe so quietly. They have a fan on tonight and I am so thankful. I quietly walk into the bathroom. I stop and just pause for a few minutes. I peak my head out and neither of them have moved so I take it as a good sign they are still asleep. I slowly go under the sink and start turning the safe dial. It squeals super loudly and I hear someone moving. Crap. I quickly change the number on the safe so it isn't the right one. I stand up and start leaving the bathroom to literally bump into Stef so hard. I fall over and hit my head on the dresser pretty hard and am on the ground. My waist and legs on top of Stef. She tried to grab me to help me not fall but it didn't really work. I scream from falling and Lena sits up in bed quickly and flicks the light on.
"What is going on?!" she says rushing to help us get up. I just sit on the floor and rub my head. I can already feel a giant bump forming. It hurts.
"Honey, are you okay?" Lena says. I am not sure if she is talking to Stef or I. She helps Stef sit up. I am avoiding all eye contact. I am terrified they are mad.
"Gabriella, are you okay?" It is Stef. I just don't say anything. I am staring at the ground afraid to move. Stef kind of crawls over to me. She puts her hand on my arm and I flinch. I cover my face with my hands waiting for her to hit me. Stef removes her hand.
"Honey, you are safe. We won't hurt you." It's Lena. I can tell she is slightly emotional that I am afraid of them.
"Gabriella?" Stef tries again. Her voice makes me flinch. "Sweets, I am not mad, okay? I am not going to hurt you." I don't move. I just curl into myself. "Baby, can you look at me?" I can't. "Honey please?" I finally look at Stef and am trying to not cry.
"I am sorry I made you fall down. I didn't mean to." She gives me a soft smile. She puts her hand back on my arm and I hide again. "Please don't hurt me, I didn't mean to," I choke back a sob. They are going to be so mad and not want me anymore.
"Honey, look at me. I won't hurt you. I am not upset. Please, baby." I hear Stef's voice sound desperate so I look at her. She opens her arms and says, "Can you come here honey? I won't hurt you. Let me hold you." I look at her debating. I know she is trying to offer me comfort. They won't hurt me right? I remember how kind they are in my memories and I go to her willingly. She wraps me up and pulls me into her lap. "Baby are you okay? Let me look at your head." She touches my forehead and I cringe. "That looks like it hurts sweetheart, I am so sorry. What did you hit your head on?"
"The dresser," I mumble.
"Oh honey, let me go get you some ice," Lena says. I sit in silence as we wait for Lena to get back. She sits next to us and holds the ice on my forehead. It hurts and I flinch. "I am sorry sweetheart, I just want to help with the swelling." I think of a good idea.
"Doesn't advil help with swelling, could I take some?" I say, innocently. Maybe I don't have to tell them about my leg. "My head really hurts." Stef looks at Lena quickly, I almost missed it, but I didn't.
"Honey, why were you in the bathroom?" Lena asks. I don't know what to say.
"Uhm, I didn't really realize what was happening, I think I was still kind of asleep. I had just woken up from a nightmare and was out of it. Maybe I was trying to get to you." I feel guilty, but I can't tell them about my leg.
"Sweets, we talked about lying. What is the truth?" I try to keep my cool.
"I am not lying." I say confidently.
"Gabriella, you are. If you keep lying to me you will be punished." I stiffen, she is going to hit me? "Honey, not physically, never. I just mean you may lose privileges."
"Like eating?"
"Of course not sweetheart," Lena says, "Like being grounded longer and losing TV."
"Oh."
"Baby, why were you in here?" Stef tries again.
"Ugh, fine. I was looking for advil, but I forgot foster parents have to lock it up. I saw the safe and assumed that is where it was."
"I heard the safe, did you try to open it?" Stef says. Why is she such a light sleeper?
"Well, I turned the handle to see if maybe it would open. Sometimes people forget to turn the dial when they close it. I thought I would try." Please believe me.
"Honey, why do you need advil?" Lena asks. I avoid eye contact and shrug.
"Not good enough," Lena says, "Why did you need it?"
I start tearing up and move away from Stef. "I just needed it. I don't have to tell you everything!" I start getting worked up.
"Gabrialla, you need to take a deep breath. I know you are upset you got caught. We just want to help, it's okay. So far you aren't in trouble and we won't hurt you. I just need you to calm down, can you take a deep breath for me?" Stef asks. I roll my eyes and she gives me a look. She must have chosen to ignore it cause she starts taking deep breaths. I decide to cooperate and try it. It actually helps and I can feel myself relaxing a bit.
"Good job sweets. Now, tell Lena and I what hurts." I look in her eyes with tears in mine.
"My leg," I whisper.
"Can we see it?" Lena asks.
"No."
"Honey, I mean we need to see it," Lena states a little more firmly. "Come on." She guides my hand and sits me on the bed. She rolls my pant leg up and Stef sits down next to us. She pulls the bandage off and gasps. "Honey, this isn't good. It is rubbed raw. Sweetheart, is this from playing soccer? This is going to get infected if you aren't careful."
Stef had left and went into the bathroom and opened the safe, I could hear it. She comes back with advil and some more bandages.
"Here honey." Stef hands me the medication and water from Lena's nightstand. I look at it suspiciously.
"It is mine, you can drink it, I don't mind sharing" Lena smiles softly. I just look at her and take the advil with her water. Stef starts putting neosporin on my leg.
"I think we should leave this unwrapped for now, it needs to be exposed," Stef says as she walks up to wash her hands. "Honey, you said you would stop if it hurt."
"Well, it wasn't that bad honestly. I felt fine for most of the day. I just woke up and it was hurting. I am sorry for waking you up. I was trying to sneak in so I didn't. That is when you found me."
"And you didn't want us to know your leg hurt?" Lena says, looking at me sternly. I shrug.
"Thank you for the medicine. I will go back to my room now." I get up and start heading out. I turn and say, "I am sorry for waking you up for a second time since I have been here."
"It's okay love, would you like to stay here with us?" Lena asks. Yes. I really want to.
"No, I am okay. Thank you." I lied, again.
It's Saturday morning and I am sitting eating cereal at the island. Lena is sitting next to me waiting to wrap my bandage. It is 10am. I slept in pretty late. Stef is sorting through the mail. I notice her leave the room for a second. She comes back with a smile on her face. She comes back and hands Lena something. She starts crying and hands me the letter.
I look at her anxiously. I see the doctor's logo on the top. I am scared to look. I reach out with shaky hands and grab the letter. My hand is shaking and Lena places her hand on mine to help steady it. There are all of these numbers and words on it that I don't fully understand. I just see all of our names and the section that says probability of maternity: 100%, next to Stef and Lena's names. I quietly stand up and set the letter down. I don't say anything to them. I don't know what to say. I start getting nervous that I will fail them as a child. What if I get taken away again? What if they don't like me now? What if they think I am too much because of all my issues. I feel two sets of arms wrap around me.
"Whatever you are thinking, baby, it will be okay. We have you. We are so happy to be reunited with you, our sweet Ella." Lena says this. "Babygirl, you are home. We are so excited you are home. We have never stopped looking. We love you." Stef says. I just freeze and let them hug me. Overwhelmed and in shock. It is them. Stef and Lena. Mommy and Mama. They are my parents. My real parents. I found them.
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