Nothing

by NeverEndingProject

When life finally crashes down on Eric Cartman, he loses everyone he thought he had firmly by the balls. Now realizing his mistakes, there was no way to apologize or make up for them, so instead he chooses to say and do nothing. Now on his own, he starts to realize some passions that were hidden deep inside him that were incredible, and it seems others agree.

When it happened, it just clicked.

What happened? Well, what didn't happen? He was a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulative, sociopathic asshole.

Or maybe he was just stupid.

No, both.

His friends talked to him regularly, hung out with him, and did stupid shit. But he couldn't deny that they didn't consider him a friend. They always complained about him, even in front of his face.

The adults couldn't stand him. They wanted their kids nowhere close to the boy. All of the boys' parents knew for years how Eric was. After the events with Heidi Turner, every parent who instead had daughters warned them of the fat kid like it was some scary bedtime story.

Even his mother was growing more distant these days. Sure, she would still give him the things he requested, do what he asked, and care for his needs, but Eric knew it was only because of her love for him... because she was his mother.

Everyone hated Eric Cartman for a reason. Completely valid reasons at that. His life was currently, for the lack of a better word, fucked. He was too far deep in an ocean of mistakes.

No, "mistakes" were unintentional. They were accidents. What he did were unforgivable sins. God already tried to strike him down once. He lived. Maybe it was a sign of a second chance.

He wanted to try and change. Maybe he could become someone who he could be proud of being. Someone he could look at through a mirror and not cringe.

First things first, he owed everyone else an apology. That's how all great redemptions started, right? But that was just the problem—it wasn't possible to apologize.

He knew that even if he apologized to everyone, not a single person would take it seriously. No matter what he said or did, no one would believe him in good faith. They had done so before, and it always backfired on them. No one would give him the time of day.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Two people on the top of his head would give him a billion chances.

His mother and Butters.

Butters was cheating. He could admit that much. The blond was like the most loyal puppy in the entire world. He was too naive for his taste.

His mother, on the other hand, was a good start. If there was anyone that deserved a good apology, it was her.

"Hey, mom," he said in a serious tone as he walked into the living room.

There she was, watching one of her soap operas on the television.

"Hello, Eric." She turned to him, and he knew he had her full attention.

"I'm sorry." It was simple and straightforward. "For everything. I've been a shitty son, and you didn't deserve it."

"Okay, hun."

She said it in her typical lovey-dovey mother voice. Eric always had a talent for reading people and could see right through her. Before, her voice used to be real, but now it can only be defined as fake.

Throughout what she witnessed him do to his ex-girlfriend, the stress of the global Covid-19 pandemic, and his recent need for attention, his mother had lost all faith in her son, and Eric could see that as she turned her eyes back to her show without care.

With sad eyes, he silently walked upstairs back to his room.

Fuck. That was it. Possibly the only person he knew that had a chance, other than Butters, didn't believe him. It was over for him.

So he couldn't apologize to anyone, and he couldn't do anything to prove it either.

He thought about it. Doing or saying anything would lead to suspicions, declarations, and accusations, so there was nothing he could do. And if that was the case…

He would do nothing.

Nobody suspected a thing at the bus stop when he didn't call Kyle a Jew or Kenny poor. Nobody batted an eye when he was quiet all first period. But once a ginger kid came into class to announce a school event no one cares about, that's when eyebrows were raised.

He noticed their looks but didn't return them, continuing to doodle random shit on his paper.

Things normally continued until lunch, when the boys were surprised that Cartman wasn't sitting with them in the cafeteria. Little did they know he would be eating elsewhere from now on.

Eric knew they weren't complaining. Why would they? They were probably cheering and jumping for joy. No more would the annoying fat fuck irritate them. He didn't blame them one bit.

When they were back in class after recess, Kyle immediately asked him a question he was dying to hear the answer for.

"What's up, fatass? You weren't there for lunch or recess today."

It was a serious question, and all the other kids secretly eavesdropped to hear his answer. Unfortunately for them, it never came.

In fact, he didn't say a single word, and Kyle didn't know how to respond other than curious, furrowed brows. The redhead didn't ask him another question for the rest of that school day.

It continued like this throughout the next few weeks. At first, everyone was wary of him. In their eyes, a loud Cartman was obnoxious, a normal Cartman was amusing, but a quiet Cartman was dangerous.

There were only two people who were willing to act on their suspicions. The only two who could ever fight back.

Kyle and Wendy.

They eyed him like a hawk at school, picking apart his every move. He always lost them at lunch, where he would go somewhere quiet to eat, and after school, where Kyle would only see him walk into his house.

Kyle only said one last thing to him. It was a question.

"What are you doing?"

Eric had been at his locker, putting away some stuff from class. He knew that tone. It was always neutral and flat when the redhead was absolutely sure he was up to something.

Kyle said it so plainly, getting straight to the point.

Eric had no words, returning to his locker to continue putting things away.

He felt Kyle's intense stare for a few more seconds. The Jew didn't even look angry.

Then, he heard nothing more except his retreating footsteps.

Seemingly, they gave up and left him alone. Still, when they were in the same room, they couldn't help but keep their eyes on him from time to time, wary of his next move.

As the weeks went by, he was left to his agenda. Because he left everyone alone and they did the same, he had much more time on his hands.

He didn't know what to do with his free time, choosing to drown himself in boredom while watching TV, playing games, or, god forbid, doing homework. Still, it wasn't enough to satisfy his boredom.

But one afternoon, his mind started to wander. He made a little story in his head, a journey of a character he made up. The little journey soon spiraled into many adventures, and he kept thinking about it every night. During his free time, or doing something productive, and even at school, he would start to ponder his story as it grew bigger and bigger every day in his memory bank.

Soon he had enough of it and took to his computer and started to type.

His story started off with a bunch of notes, as he didn't want to forget any details. Those notes turned into paragraphs. Paragraphs made a chapter, and eventually, he had multiple of them.

He didn't realize it after the first few words, but he started to enjoy it by the time he was a bunch of chapters into writing. Maybe he always did. He had a knack for making good stories. He could still remember when his classmates were invested in his Christmas tale.

It was a sort of freedom. He could write literally anything he wanted in his world of creation. All he needed was some words on paper. Or, in this case, file.

He didn't only write on his computer. He wrote on his phone during school hours, on the bus, and at the park at times. His favorite spot was deep past the forest at the edge of South Park, a beautiful, relaxing place that helped him focus.

It took some time. Thankfully, he had much of it now, but his first storyline was completed.

He wanted to show someone. Anyone.

Not anyone he knew, though. It would hurt too much if they found it terrible and laughed. Nah, they'd probably laugh at him regardless of the quality. No, he needed to be anonymous.

He searched online, found some very popular websites, and chose one. Who was he kidding? He couldn't choose just one. He wanted as much viewership and criticism as possible. He wanted to share his world, see if others enjoyed it, and maybe feel proud of himself.

He signed up on various websites, choosing the username "BigBSP." It couldn't be any of his old usernames, nor could it be The Coon or anything related to his life. This username was just fine.

On every single website, he posted his first story. While doing so, nothing could escape his double-checking. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

He couldn't sleep that night. The temptation to jump back to his computer and see if anyone viewed his work was almost too much.

That next morning, he barely managed to get out of his bed. He had to rush in the morning before he missed the bus, not having enough time to eat or check his posted stories.

When he got home, he was still too tired to do anything, so he went straight to bed and napped.

He woke up in the middle of the night and went for a midnight snack. Bringing his food, a bag of cookies, and some milk upstairs, he turned his computer on and logged in.

He was shocked to see that his story got more than enough viewers. In fact, his story was on the front trending page of the most popular website!

He went through every review, every comment. They varied in criticism and praise, but most said the same thing: they wanted him to continue.

He couldn't help but smile. For the first time, Eric Cartman could say he was truly proud of doing something in his life.

A couple of weeks passed, and Eric found more comments daily. Meanwhile, he kept writing the second entry to the series. All the attention gained from the first one motivated him to keep working hard. The traffic of views wasn't the main thing driving him, but it would be cruel to keep all of his readers waiting.

Then, one day, a review caught his interest.

The person regretted holding off on reading his story. They had it put on hold while they read other things, and after just the first chapter, they were hooked. The reader could see why it was sitting on the front page, and once they finally completed reading it, they recommended something he didn't expect: Publish the story as a novel.

The thought never crossed his mind, yet the option was obviously right there. Curiosity nearly killed him, so he researched online and discovered he could do it through popular websites like Amazon. He didn't even need to print it out. All he needed was a proofreader and editor.

Thankfully, because he was Eric fucking Cartman, he still had some contacts that would do him a solid. After debating whether to publish his work, he concluded it couldn't hurt. He didn't care if it gained more viewers, but if more people out there were willing to read his shit, he might as well.

He got through with his contacts, and they did their magic.

His pen name was still "BigBSP," with the goal of staying anonymous. Anyone he knew could come across his novel, and if they enjoyed it, good on them. He didn't want people to believe he was doing this for attention. He wasn't like that anymore. And deep down, he didn't want the attention. He was scared of how he would handle it. What if he took it straight to his ego and regressed into the shit stain he's always been? He couldn't risk it.

Soon, his first-ever novel was published online, and he felt giddy inside. He priced it cheap, and had set up all his accounts with , as some of the money his story earned would go straight to him.

The publish date was Friday, and he had a whole weekend to himself.

He spent the time going to his secret spot past the forest and was the most proactive he'd ever been. He wanted to get the second novel out as soon as possible, but not too fast, in fear of rushing and botching the story.

He carefully planned this next novel like the first, jotting notes of every little detail and then making paragraphs out of those notes. He didn't make an entire novel over one weekend, not even close, but he did get a lot of work finished.

Writing wasn't the only thing he did. He also got back into a hobby he would only use when trying to sway people: Making music.

While making notes for his second novel, he had a part where someone was supposed to sing. His creative mind couldn't help but want to make the song a real thing, so he managed to write the song. It was easy for him. He's written other pieces in the past. But this one was different. This was pure from his soul, not rotten from selfish desires or tainted with terrible goals.

After writing that song, Eric wondered what other things he could try doing. He had the option of illustration, but he was a terrible artist. Well, he supposed all artists started terribly and got better with practice.

The two-day break from school quickly ran past him, and it was time for his education once again.

Eric kept to himself as usual during the bus ride, and it wasn't until he arrived at school that he noticed the recent commotion.

Amazon had a feature, newly implemented, where if a novel sold a decent amount, any person could pay a small fee to get it printed into a physical copy of a book. And because it was Amazon, they were quick as a mother fucker.

The kids in the hallways were holding the novel that had the same cover art as his book.

Everywhere he looked, a different student was holding the book out. There were groups of kids scattered around, all gushing about the amazing story. His amazing story.

If he were the old Cartman, he would have gloated right then, telling everyone to suck his dick and beg him to make more novels. But Eric was different.

He was absolutely flattered.

He was happy to find his classmates there when he got to the hallway with their lockers. And like the rest of the student body, nearly all his classmates were conversing about his novel.

He acted like he was ignoring them as he opened his locker.

Wendy was the one currently speaking as she gushed about the romance in chapter seven.

"And Joshua is just the cutest! I wish my boyfriend got me a gift like that!" Wendy smiled. "No offense, Stan," she quickly added.

The other girls and even some guys agreed.

"Nah, it's cool," Stan said, "I wonder how they're going to find the ancient city though. It was hidden for a thousand years."

Eric chuckled in his mind. "Wait until you find out the city was completely annihilated. I teased that since chapter three."

"I just can't wait for Debra and Aidan to reunite. Hopefully in the next book!" Kyle said while grinning.

"Too bad Aidan is banished between dimensions."

While his classmates continued to throw theories and put out their favorite moments from the first book, Eric couldn't help but smile to himself.

He so wanted to go up to them and blurt out anything, but he had to force himself not to. Soon the bell rang, indicating to everyone that class had begun.

The talk about his novel continued throughout class, lunch, then until school ended. Eric knew he would have limited time to relish the anonymous glory. Even the best of tales are only discussed in the heat of the moment. He didn't hear anyone talking about Avengers: Endgame nowadays, like when it was first released in theaters. The creators of that movie probably felt like they were on top of the world like he did at that moment.

He couldn't wait until he could continue working on the second book. Now he was more determined than ever to keep the ball rolling and make it the best he's written.

As time flew by, his account was piling up with money. He was getting more money than he thought he would, too much for a kid his age. In the past, he would spend it on something stupid, to do stupid things. He would be careless with it and lose it all. Not this time.

He knew exactly the first thing he wanted to do with his money. He would throw a party.

A party to everyone he's wronged and anyone else that felt like coming. A party for all. He would call it: The Apology Party.

He managed to rent a room large enough for many people without getting cramped. The food was set to order, and everything else would be handled by the people he hired. All he had to do now was spread the word.

Starting that week, he posted flyers around the school with all the details. The party was by him, so he put his name, the type of party it was, the time, and the place.

Whenever he saw someone, he gave them a flyer personally, especially if it was someone he pissed off in the past. Pretty much everyone in his class. This party would only consist of fourth graders because he knew them well. He had to admit adults could make a party lame sometimes.

He anxiously waited for the day of the party, choosing next week Saturday so the most amount of people could come.

Inevitably the day came, and everything was set up perfectly. The tables, food, and music were all in a big room the size of their school cafeteria.

The start time on the poster was 5:00 PM, and it was currently 5:10. So he waited.

Waited.

And waited.

At first, he thought everyone wanted to be fashionably late. Then he pondered if the poster was wrong and double-checked to disprove that.

After waiting a little longer, he finally admitted the truth; nobody was coming. He concluded that nobody wanted to come.

He could hear them now.

"We're not falling for that one, fatass."

He honestly didn't blame them, as he sat at an empty table with a sad smile. He wasn't surprised, but that didn't stop it from hurting so much.

But then, the door creaked open, and a familiar blond walked in.

"Ah, dangit. The party's over?"

Eric chuckled. "No, Butters, it didn't get to start yet. Thanks for coming, though." He returned to the cupcake he had half eaten.

"Oh…" He bumped his knuckles together. "So I'm the first one to get here?"

"No, the party's been canceled," Eric replied immediately, perhaps too quickly. "So you can leave."

He wasn't about to let Butters stay here. It would have been too awkward with only the two of them.

"Alright then. See ya later, Eric." He waved at him as he left, and the room was silent again.

Eric sighed. Now he had all of this shit to clean up. He didn't know what he was going to do with all of his food either.

On his lonely walk hours later, he escaped the darkness of the night as he entered his house.

Closing the door, he looked at the couch to see his mother.

She wasn't watching anything on the TV, so he was about to take the remote from the table to find something for himself. As he passed her, he noticed something in her hands.

Opening his mouth in shock, he shook his head to return to reality before sitting next to her.

He was quiet, and wasn't even sure if she noticed him yet. It was long since he spoke with his mom in an actual conversation, not an argument, commands being shouted from both sides, or anything a loving mother-son duo should communicate about.

He sighed, choosing his words very carefully.

"So… Do you like it?"

"Like what, Hun?"

She answered instantly, indicating she knew he was here the whole time.

He hesitated for a second, then replied, "M-my book."

His mom looked at him for a moment, eyes widened. " You wrote this, Eric?"

Eric could tell she wasn't close to believing him.

He shrugged. "I understand if you don't believe me."

"Y-you're BigBSP?" she continued, her tone flooding with disbelief.

Everyone pronounced the name wrong. It was supposed to be "Big-B-SP," but everyone would word it as "Big-BSP." He figured he couldn't put the blame on them. He could have worded it better.

Eric took her hand in his, smiling.

"'Big Boned South Park.'"

She couldn't find her voice and could only stare at him with her eyebrows raised and mouth agape.

A minute later, a stunned Liane and anxious Eric were upstairs, the son showing her something on his computer.

"I first started writing on this website here," he explained, pulling up his story online. "It didn't take long to complete, and I wanted people to read it, so I posted it. Some random person messaged me online and told me to edit and publish it on Amazon, Google, Facebook, and, I think, Apple. So I said fuck it. I was surprised it got so popular. I'm in the middle of putting out a second novel, even if the first one already, well…" he trailed off, typing in a new website address.

He pulled up his account, and Liane gasped at the large six-digit number.

"It wasn't only the novels that got me this much. I also wrote some songs too and sent them on Spotify and Soundcloud. I also draw a little too, but that's just a hobby at the moment," he said the last bit a little sheepishly.

Slowly, tears were brought to Liane's eyes, and Eric thought he had done something wrong.

Then suddenly, she startled him by shouting, "I'm so proud of you!" She covered her face while she sobbed.

Eric stared at her briefly. His ears heard what she said, but his brain didn't fully process it until a few seconds after. She said she was proud of him. It was surreal.

He couldn't stop his eyes from getting wet as well, and with a small sob, he turned his seat and jumped into her arms.

The two cried together, the room only filled with their heart-to-heart sobs. Neither of them knew how long they stayed embraced, but eventually, they broke apart. They went over to his bed, where the two could sit comfortably.

"Eric, this is…" Liane held up the book, losing her voice for a second. "...incredible!"

Eric smiled as he leaned over on the bed and wiped a tear off her cheek. "Thanks. It means a lot to hear that."

Liane sniffed and returned the favor, reaching over with a finger to attack her son's tears.

"This is really incredible, Eric. Honestly."

Eric chuckled sheepishly, saying, "I didn't do all the work. I have to thank my editor and proofreader. They did tell me my writing was at the level of a college student, though."

"They may have helped you, Eric, but it's still your story. They simply helped in how you conveyed your story, but at the end of the day, it's your wonderful storytelling. All I'm saying is, you should be proud of yourself."

Eric gave her a small but very happy smile at that. "Thanks, Mom."

She smiled back, wiping the last of her tears, before asking a question. "How many more novels do you have planned? This is the first one for a series, right?"

Eric nodded. "Yeah. Four more, then it's the halfway point when something big happens, then there's going to be another five. There might be more if anything comes to mind."

"Ten novels in total?" Liane said, a little shocked. "That's a lot of work, sweetums."

"Well…" He smiled up at her. "I have a lot of time."

His smile soon turned into a frown, and he stared into his mother's eyes with compassion.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," he began, his voice wavering. "I was the biggest piece of shit to you. You didn't deserve that at all , and I don't deserve you. You're the best mom I could have asked for."

"Oh, sweetie…" Liane could feel the tears springing to her eyes again." I-it's okay."

"NO IT'S NOT!" he yelled, making her jump back. "It's not…" he repeated softly.

"I'm going to make things up to you," he said with conviction. "I promise."

They ended up talking a little more. The last of their conversation wasn't as emotional as earlier.

They drifted to sleep together, like when a younger Eric had nightmares years ago. Mr. Kitty even joined them at the foot of the bed. It was soothing for the small family, and Liane was happier than she had ever been in a long time. The furthest she could remember having this genuine happiness was when Eric was born. Or was it when he said his first word? His first steps? She thought about it until she realized she didn't care.

For Eric, this was the first time he could say he was truly happy with his mom, and he wanted to cherish this forever. Before, everything was so fake. This moment right here felt a million times better than anything before it.

Waking up the next morning, he remembered the failure of a party yesterday. He was upset at the recent memory, but that misery was quickly washed down when the moments of him and his mother reappeared. The good always took over the bad.

After that day, the two were as close as ever. Eric used his money to take them out on dinner dates. He supported the bills and let his mom take it easy at work. Liane was ever supportive of her son and couldn't wait for his second novel to be complete, the boy promising it would release in the upcoming months.

The days went on as normal. Eric would go to school, come home, and work on his novel, music, and illustrations. Only now, he had his rekindled bond with his mother for more opportunities to do cool shit.

At school, he continued to stay silent. He didn't want to speak up even more now since no one had appeared at the party. Well, except Butters, maybe he would reward him with the time of day. Again, it was cheating.

It looked as if they didn't even remember his party, or maybe they were only acting. Either way, he decided to stick to his guns and shut his mouth. It was better this way.

The guys didn't bother him, and neither did he, but Eric always paid attention, always listening. He saw two of his classmates show off his music to their friends. It was Clyde and Bebe.

Half the class enjoyed it, while the other half didn't hate it but were indifferent. Eric was glad either way. At lunch, he even walked by random kids from different classes playing it on their phones.

Everything was normal until one evening. The day had gone on smoothly up until a little after school. Eric was working on a song for his second novel when his mom told him she was going out. Ever since he got the money, he had been spoiling his mother. He told her she could use the money as she pleased. To Eric, it was their money, not his, and she deserved it. It took a while before Liane got used to using the money he earned, but after days of Eric persuading her, she had grown accustomed to it.

He worked on his song in peace and quiet in his basement, which he had renovated recently. It looked professional, with all the equipment needed to make music. It even had a glass booth with soundproof walls where he could sing inside.

While editing the song on a laptop, he heard the doorbell ring from upstairs. He wasn't expecting anybody today, and it was lucky that he wasn't in the booth because he wouldn't have heard it.

He went upstairs and answered the door. Two men in suits stood at his doorstep, both wearing sunglasses. Mr. Kitty, standing next to the door when the doorbell rang, scurried to the top of the stairs when he opened the door.

"Can I help you?" Eric asked, raising a brow.

"Eric Cartman?" one of them asked.

"Uh, yes that's me."

"This is Agent Darwin, and I'm Agent Cole. We're the FBI." He pulled out his badge, and his partner did the same. "Can we speak to you for a moment in private?"

Eric indented his brows. "Sure." He stepped out of the way, letting them in the house.

"Is anyone else here?" Darwin asked, looking around.

"No. My mom just left." Eric closed the door behind him, and the men turned around.

"We saw," Darwin quickly replied. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble."

The thought did cross Eric's mind. He didn't know if there was something he did in the past that was long forgotten. There were many reasons for the FBI to show up at his doorstep.

"Then what are you here for?" he eventually asked.

They stuffed their badges inside their chest pockets.

"In one of our top secret databases, there are a list of brilliant people." Cole said. "Very confidential."

"Why?" Eric asked.

"If someone catches the government's eye, they'll put their name down on that very database. People with incredible talents, who are highly influential…" He paused for a moment. "Threats."

Eric had to gulp, realizing his throat was getting dry.

"We want to hire you to work for us."

He blinked. "What?" he said blankly.

"We recently looked through your file. You have done things unimaginable, kid. It took us a while to look over your history. The person who added you to the list was admittedly… deranged."

"Who?" Eric asked with an eyebrow raised. He wondered who in the government was looking at him in the lands of millions of Americans. But as he thought about it some more, he started to ponder over the people he closely knew. Then it clicked.

"President Garrison," Darwin confirmed.

"Former," the other guy cut in.

"Mr. Garrison had his eyes on me?" Eric thought out loud before looking up at the two with a frown. "But I did some bad things. Are you sure you want to hire me?"

"We've hired bad people before," Darwin said. "It wouldn't be any different."

Eric hummed to himself as he stood there in thought.

"So, kid. What do you say? We could really use someone like you out there."

Eric immediately waved a hand and scoffed at them. "I'm not like that anymore. I'm trying to change," he said.

"Your morals, yes. But you still have the mind of a genius, BigBSP."

The brunette looked at him in shock, looking scared for his life. He knew they were the FBI, yet he didn't expect them to know his anonymous pen name.

The man raised a hand and added, "The offer's on the table. But I'd suggest you think about it. You can save a lot of lives, kid. If you say no we can forget this entire conversation ever happened."

Eric took his time to think, racking his brain for answers. He did need to get out more, and maybe this was an opportunity to redeem himself. The more he thought about it, the more he realized there were little downsides to accepting this offer. He could also do with its benefits, which he was sure had to be amazing.

"If I may, can I ask something?" Eric asked.

The man nodded.

"Do I get personalized training?"

He always thought about working to get his body in shape, but he never got that push to start. He was unhealthy. He admitted that even when he was still an obnoxious asshole. This could be another new start for him. It was certainly better than sitting at home all day doing no physical work.

The agents looked at each other before turning back to him. "We can arrange training for you, sure. But it isn't necessary."

"Killer," he thought.

"That's fine," the boy said aloud, "I just want some training."

"Consider it done."

---

This wasn't the type of training he had in mind.

Eric was currently boxing a punching bag as he was sweating head to toe in shorts and a tank top, panting heavily, and his throat was dry.

After he had accepted the deal, he told his mom he had gotten "an opportunity." He had been told that his affairs with the government were to be kept secret, so he refrained from telling her any details. It didn't feel right keeping secrets from her after recent events, but she respected his decisions nonetheless.

He got settled in a week later in Washington DC, the plane ticket and services already paid for. By the end of the day, he would be sent back home.

The first few days were just talking and paperwork. Long story short, he would be given supplies, information, and a very important task. His first mission was in a week.

Right now, a couple of days before the task, he was pushing himself hard as he repeatedly punched a sandbag hanging from the ceiling.

Beside him was a very tough, stern old man: His personal trainer. The punches bounced off the walls throughout the training room.

He originally just wanted to get physical training to get fitter. But he had to admit, learning how to fight properly was pretty cool. He laughed at the thought of it. It was probably a very horrifying thought for others; Eric Cartman able to fight.

He didn't know what to expect from all of this, but he was excited. Either way, time wouldn't stop and have him wait to find out.

Working with the government for the next few months let him travel to many cool places around the globe. He even went undercover in Brazil for two days. His mother asked questions, but Eric told her to have faith in him and that it was "all business." He was happy to figure out that his mother fully trusted him.

Ex-president Garrison was right in considering him to work with the government. He was excellent at his work, having had prior experience in the field for his personal gain. His manipulation tactics, negotiation skills, and planning were incredible. There was even a point where he had to involve himself in a fight, where no one thought a scuffle would break out.

He assisted in taking down a few crime lords, negotiated with some terrorists, and even infiltrated a Russian base. Those who didn't know what kind of stuff Eric Cartman pulled in the past wouldn't have believed it. To him, it was like another Tuesday.

He wasn't called every day, far from it. He was called around twice weekly, with a rare third or fourth day in the mix. He even had to skip school to meet a deadline once.

He was losing weight with all of the physical activity he was doing, both in and out of work. On the days he wasn't training in Washington DC was instead working out in the local South Park gym. He wasn't getting thin any time soon, but his fat was slowly being replaced by muscle, though it would probably take a little longer to get rid of it all. He had the name "fatass" for a reason.

He also got to know the South Park police through his status with the government. Funnily enough, he was technically their superior. Nonetheless, the officers and Eric were still friendly, and now the brunette had some support where he lived if he needed anything on the spot.

All in all, he would say taking the job was so fucking worth it. And that wasn't mentioning all the health and life benefits.

If anything took a toll, though, it was his grades. Being busy with work and still trying to fit in time for his novel and music didn't give him the luxury of being able to work on school.

"Ah, Eric and Ms. Cartman, take a seat." PC Principal said, stacking some papers in his hands.

The two entered the principal's office and did as told.

"Mr. Cartman, the school board has been looking at your grades and history and are deeming them… inadequate."

"I see." Eric wanted to care. He seriously did. He wanted to change, and part of that was caring about his education.

"I'm afraid if this keeps up Eric, you might not be able to fit at our school."

"...are you saying I'm being expelled?" he asked with a frown. He was genuinely saddened.

"If your grades get lower, it's certainly possible."

"Then so be it," Eric replied quickly, hopping out of his seat and leaving the room. Even if he wanted to care about school, he just didn't; nothing he could do would change that.

PC Principal didn't say anything and only watched as Liane stood up and chased after her son. They had been called before school started, the halls were empty of students, and the boy was walking out and not looking back. He didn't realize it could be the last time he saw these hallways.

He was sure he could have pulled some strings with his new powerful connections. But as sad as he was to kick himself out of school, he had to admit he didn't have the drive to get his grades up. It was as depressing as it sounded.

"Eric, let's talk about this," his mother said, chasing him as they exited the school.

"Let's just go, Mom."

"Eric, you need your education."

Eric shook his head in response, turning to her. "For what? I'm already doing well for myself. I'm making more money than most university students across America." With his novels and now his government work, it was true.

"Still, I think you should reconsider." Liane had a sympathetic look on her face.

"I just…" His frown turned a little sadder. "I don't have it in me. I suck at school and I'm not going to get good grades. It's not going to make a difference, and it's only going to be a waste of time."

"But what about your friends, poopsikins?" she tried to reason, "They'll miss you."

Eric was close to bursting out laughing.

His friends haven't called him ever since he stopped talking to them. They didn't care, and he would never expect them to. They were happy he was gone. Both sides knew they weren't truly friends and they never were.

He couldn't go and buy back their forgiveness. He would have to deal with the consequences. He deserved it as much as he earned the injuries across his forearms.

He rubbed his arms through his red jacket, skimming both thumbs over his forearms. The scab wounds were long gone, all the evidence erased, but he could have sworn he still felt them.

Liane stared at him. The silence was overwhelming. She wondered if he was considering staying in school.

But then, he shook his head, returning to their sports car without a word.

---

It was getting colder as winter was close to approaching.

He helped Trent Boyett get released from juvenile hall at his government job. That kid just came to his mind one night, and he couldn't sleep. He had the power to get him released, and it was only right.

He talked to Trent that day. He had to.

He told the other boy that he could do whatever he wanted to him. For his freedom, Eric demanded that none of his friends would face his wrath.

He was shocked when Trent didn't do anything to him, even though he was still clearly livid with him, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny. Ultimately, he promised not to touch any of his friends as long as he had full legal protection. Eric's change so swayed him that he realized people could change for the better. But he's still pissed at every single one of them.

Eric got him released, and Trent was a free boy. He cleaned his record and earned him full legal protection. The young thug didn't intend to waste this chance to improve his life; that was the last Eric saw of him since.

Thinking about the other people he's wronged, he went through his memory bank until he came across Kenny.

He had money, and Kenny oh-so deserved a lot of it.

It was a simple process. Eric couldn't let any of his dickbag parents get a hold of it. They would just spend it on drugs and alcohol.

So he paid someone to deliver cash envelopes and prepaid debit cards to his windowsill. That should get Kenny going a little. He didn't want to send too much by the chance of Kenny depending too much on him. So he sent enough for Kenny to get his siblings food and other things they could benefit from, like games, electronics, and toys.

At the thought of gifts, he was reminded about the upcoming holidays. He wanted to do something special this year, and what better than a party?

But not just any party. He would make the biggest Christmas party South Park had ever seen! Everyone would be invited. There was enough time to get it all set up too. He could either get a building built or use one of the streets for a block party. He was getting excited just thinking about it.

He would have to be quick, though. It was rare for the families from South Park to go on vacation for the holidays, but not uncommon. Most people lived here all their lives, and thus, their families were all here. If they did go out for a vacation, it was mostly met with reluctance followed by regret. They loved their small little mountain town. He would have to send out invites as soon as possible to sway people from leaving.

That was when he paused when something struck him.

No one showed up the last time he tried inviting everyone because it was his party. This time he had to be more careful. The party owner would have to be anonymous. It would be tricky, but he could get it done.

So from there, he planned.

All the planning went accordingly until Eric remembered the holidays other than Christmas. He knew about Hanukkah the most due to his association with Kyle and his family, but there was also Kwanzaa and Diwali. Even though they weren't the same time as Christmas, and Diwali wasn't even in November, he wanted to include everyone. He realized this at a good time, too, about to send the flyers out only with Christmas on them, deeming them a Christmas-only party. So he researched the other holidays, intending to be as accurate as possible. The flyers were rebranded, a bunch of stuff from the other holidays now on them, and only one Christmas tree sat in the middle. He managed to get flyers littered across town, hiring a few people to do it for him, not wanting anyone to know it was his party.

Word spread quickly about the party. It was the talk around town, and people were getting excited. Questions were thrown around to try and see whose party it was, but even the Mayor didn't know that information. It didn't help anyone's curiosity when they saw a large building being built near the edge of town, right where the flyers said the party would be held. All they could do now was wait.

---

Soon winter came. The snow began to fall harder, the waters started to freeze, and the temperature dropped harshly. It was a few days until the party, and he had finished all the preparations.

With some free time on his hands, Eric was heading to Stark's Pond with a bag over his shoulder and two ice skates dangling in his hand.

Eric always loved to skate, though he never admitted that to anybody. It was just relaxing and fun, and it helped him think. It was late Monday night, so the kids were sleeping for school, and the adults were for work. There would be nobody to see him skating at Stark's Pond.

In his bag, he brought a few things. Snacks, hand warmers, a scarf, and several powerful speakers. He also carried some firewood and a lighter if he needed a fire.

As he arrived at the pond, he saw it was frozen over. He still would have to check if it was safe to skate on.

Around Stark's Pond were a bunch of lamp posts, which beamed down on the ice like it was the focus of a play. Eric thought it looked cool with the full moon in the sky surrounded by stars.

He got to work, first checking the ice before anything. Once he did and saw that it was good for skating, he got his amazing Bluetooth speakers and placed them on both sides of the ice pond. The pond was too far from the homes for anyone to hear his music.

He got his skates on next, then took out his phone to play a song. He saw Dancin' by Aaron Smith and started it. The music echoed across the area and rang in his ears like a theater. It was perfect to skate in the middle of.

He got onto the ice and pushed himself forward. As he moved around the rink, the surround sound did its magic.

Circling the rink, he went fast in a burst of speed. He adored the feel of icy winds beating on his face.

Putting his arms behind his back, he circled the rink before the song went past its intro phase. As the song's real beat began, he danced to the methodic beat on his skates, shaking his legs.

Synced with the song's rhythm, he aimed his feet outwards and inwards, doing multiple zig-zags. He smiled and hummed as the song massaged his ears. This was one of his favorites, and it worked perfectly in this atmosphere. The moon above him shone on him like a spotlight, and the lamp posts highlighted the frozen pond in the middle of the forest.

He turned around, keeping his balance as he started skating in reverse. Still dancing to the beat, he swerved left and right as he looked back to see how far he was from the edge. Then, he did a moonwalk syncing to the beat down the middle.

He spun on his heel right before he hit the edge and went fast around the rink again, pumping his arms to move even quicker. While at these new speeds, he turned back again, swaying his hips and legs as he sang a little to the song.

Knowing the song, he went to the middle of the rink for the last part. His heel tapped on the ice as the beat slowed for one last drop.

He closed his eyes, the atmosphere surrounding him felt calming. Without his vision his other senses were enhanced. The cold winds that he felt made him relax. The smell of the forest encircling the pond was entrancing. And the surround sound of the music was phenomenal.

Then, when it inevitably dropped, he pumped his arms, raising his hands in the sky and making more dance moves while slowly spinning around with his eyes closed, engrossed in the song.

He forgot about everything at that moment. His dark past, his slow comeback, every terrible relationship he had, and all his accomplishments and failures. None of that was in his mind, only the slippery ice beneath him and the music surrounding him, accompanied by the cold, fresh air and moonlight. He loved this, wishing he had done it more often.

As the song ended, he made a last pose as he whirled around, and when he stopped, his gaze met with that of Wendy Testaburger.

His heart stopped as the two stared at each other, both mutually baffled.

Beside her, which he only noticed when he snapped out of his shocked state, were all the other girls from her group. The entire squad of girls just stared at him with slack jaws.

With the song now finished, Eric had the playlist set so it wouldn't start the next song automatically, so it was as quiet as a library when no one said a word.

Eric's heart beat faster as red started to cover his cheeks a little. The old Cartman would have probably snapped right there, claiming the girls were spying and stalking him or something. It's been a long while since the girls have seen him, so they probably thought the same.

"H-hey, Cartman." Wendy finally sliced the silence in half, supported with a half-assed wave.

Eric opened his mouth, seconds away from responding, but stopped himself just before he spoke. He still didn't want to talk with anyone, scared they would take anything he said wrong. It was the only way.

He turned without a word and approached one of his speakers.

Not far from the speaker, Wendy took notice of this and walked up to him as he was moments away from picking it up. The other girls just watched.

"You don't have to leave just because we're here," she said.

Wendy always had a good eye, Eric thought. Still, he didn't reply.

The girl frowned, starting to get a little pissed off. "Will you cut that bullshit already!?" she shouted, making Eric jump back. She didn't waver. "It's rude to just ignore everyone who talks to you, you know?" she harshly said.

Eric scoffed and thought, "I guess no matter what I do, it'll still get a bad reaction from people."

Apparently, he had said it out loud, as Wendy looked taken aback, possibly because it was the first time she had heard his voice in so long. "What?" she asked.

Eric fully turned his body to her and continued. "Do you wanna know why I stopped talking to everyone?" He got no immediate reply from Wendy, so he continued. "No matter what I would have said or done, everyone would have thought I was full of shit," he said with complete seriousness in his eyes.

"Cartman…" Wendy started, her features turning soft.

"I wouldn't blame anyone," he said tiredly, "it's my fault. I fucked my entire life up."

Wendy didn't know what to say to that. It wasn't until she noticed he was still grabbing his speaker and turning it off did she reach forward and grabbed his wrist.

"Stay," she simply said. "You can play music for all of us if you want. As long as it's good." She added a smile to the last part.

Eric looked at her with raised brows before she turned back to the other girls listening in on the short conversation.

As the girls started putting on their skates, he turned his Bluetooth speaker back on and put it down.

As the next few minutes passed, nothing interesting happened. Eric minded his own business and stayed at one end of the court. If he was irritated that he couldn't use the entire thing, he didn't let it be known. Even if that were the case, truthfully his mind was racing too much to care about that. Skating was supposed to be one of his escapes, but now his thoughts were spiraling as the girls from his grade occupied the other side of the rink.

Speaking of the girls, if they wanted to come over and chat with him, they wouldn't be able to do so anyway. Eric would often glance over to see that more than half of them didn't even know how to stay on their two feet, while the small rest looked like they only knew how to keep on their two feet. They were too busy focusing on their skating to teach the newbies. The worst of the bunch were Annie, Nichole, and…

Heidi…

They couldn't stay up for over a second before slipping and falling over. It happened over and over until it got to the point where he couldn't watch it anymore.

Wendy and Red were the only ones who tried their best to educate the falling girls, but they didn't seem to be doing a good job as they kept falling.

Annie fell to the ground on her ass as she groaned in annoyance. Looking up, she saw Eric slowly stopping before her with his hands in his pockets.

He gave a hearty chuckle with not a hint of malice or mockery.

He leaned forward, offering her a red-gloved hand.

Very hesitantly, Annie took his hand and yelped as he abruptly brought her to her feet. For a split second, she was fine before her left foot slipped, but Eric grabbed her shoulders and steadied her. She held him as well to balance herself.

"I got you," he said. "Just try standing straight without falling. Balance yourself, you don't need to move yet. One step at a time."

Annie took in his words and did just that. When he let go of her, she managed to stay up for about five seconds before she nearly tumbled again, but Eric caught her that time too.

He chuckled. "Baby steps," he said with a smile. He hopes he wasn't making her uncomfortable.

Annie smiled back briefly, but her focus shifted to staying up. When he let go again, she was managing herself just fine.

Nichole and Heidi also took his words to heart, doing their best to stay upright.

As he watched them, while trying to avoid eye contact with Heidi, Wendy skated to his side slowly and jabbed him playfully in the ribs. "You're an expert at this, huh, Cartman?"

He smiled back. "It's just a hobby."

"A hobby you're amazing at." Bebe cut in, coming beside Wendy. By now, the other girls stood around on their skates, the beginners using their friends as leverage if needed.

"How did you get so good at skating anyway?" Nelly asked.

Eric shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. "You can get good at anything if you practice enough."

"No, but how do you have the…" she trailed off.

"Finesse?" Eric finished for her.

"Yeah."

"Well, it's more about form than anything," he explained. "There's a lot of badass big dudes who ice skate, roller skate, and skateboard."

"I never took you to be an ice skater, though," Wendy said before she looked nervous. "No offense."

He shrugged again. "It's whatever. I always thought it was cool. It helps me clear my head and I find it fun, so…"

"That's nice." Red smiled. "Good for you, Cartman."

"Thanks." He gave a small smile back.

"Hey," Nichole spoke up, "can you play this song me and Tolkien have been listening to?"

"Sure." Eric took out his phone and went on Spotify. "What's it called?"

Then Nichole said the title of the track, and his breath hitched. He managed to hold in a gasp to not raise attention, so he searched his playlist and found the song.

He used autotune in all his music for two reasons. One, he knew that his voice was recognizable. Not only with the people that knew him but also in the past when he made music for the Christian Rock Band he led. And two, he was a little self-conscious of his voice. He knew it was stupid and didn't care much before, but deep down, he was insecure. He couldn't stand hearing his voice playing back to him.

When Nichole asked for his song, he was stunned momentarily before composing himself. Pressing play, this song wasn't made too long ago, but it still felt nostalgic for him as he heard it for the first time in a while. Nichole and even some of the other girls hummed as it started to pick up, and Eric could still remember every lyric and detail put into the music, wanting to hum too but stopping himself.

Eric continued to tutor the girls in ice skating while the area was washed over with his music playing on his speakers. While he tried his best to teach, the other girls went around the rink smiling as they had fun. Nichole, Annie, Heidi, and a few others were still getting the hang of it, and he didn't mind at all watching them and giving tips, even reaching over to catch their falls or help them up.

The only person he didn't get near was Heidi for obvious reasons. He avoided her gaze for so long, keeping her in his peripheral vision. Whenever she made a mistake, he spoke to the girls as a group instead of singling her out.

The other girls eventually took notice of this but didn't say anything. Soon, Annie was the one who first got going without any help. She managed to skate around nearly half the circumference of the ice before tumbling down, albeit with a triumphant smile this time. She smiled and waved over at Eric, who gave her a thumbs-up in response.

One by one, the other girls had gotten the hang of it, leaving Eric on the sidelines to watch them with his hands in his pockets. All except one.

He knew she was behind him. He could feel her eyes staring into his back. Slowly, he turned to her, finding her ice skates especially interesting rather than her face. Then, with caution, he lifted his eyes to mirror hers.

Heidi opened her mouth briefly, like she was about to say something, but then closed them and abruptly looked away. She was wearing her usual clothes, but today she has on a scarf that looked nice on her.

"Are you… struggling with anything?" Eric eventually said, "Skating, I mean."

She shook her head, not replying.

Eric cleared his throat, then said, "How's everything? Are your parents doing okay?"

She looked at him, giving him a tiny smile. "They're fine, Eric… I am too. What about you?"

Eric smiled back and shrugged. "I'm doing better."

"I can see that. What about your mom?"

"She's cool." He didn't want to mention she wasn't overworking herself anymore. He didn't need to answer why. His mother took it easy on herself because he had enough money to pay for everything. The only reason she still worked was because she didn't want to be stuck at the house bored. That, and she felt like she had to contribute something . At least he convinced her to do something she wanted, like making and designing clothes.

"So…" Eric began, "Why are you girls here? Don't you have school tomorrow?" He wasn't expecting anyone to be out here at this hour.

She giggled. "It's winter break, Eric. School's out for two weeks, remember?"

"Oh yeah." He laughed a little, smiling. That giggle of hers was as adorable as ever.

No.

He stopped himself from smiling. He knew better than to think like that. There was nothing he could do to deserve her back. He blew his chances with her a long time ago.

"Speaking of school," she spoke, "I didn't see you in class for a while now."

"Oh, you noticed that?"

By now, the other girls noticed the two talking and couldn't keep their gaze off of them.

"Well, ever since you stopped talking to everyone, I was paying attention to you more," she admitted.

"Why?"

She looked as though she didn't even know the answer to that question. The girl should have stopped caring about him.

"Maybe because when you stopped talking to everyone, it reminded me of back then."

He knew what she was referring to. When he was cut from everything online, a walking ghost surrounded by people who thought he was a great troll. She was the other one who succumbed to that outcome by her own choice.

"Yeah, we're sorry for that, by the way," Wendy said, skidding to a halt next to Eric and Bebe.

"Don't." Eric waved a hand in the air with a frown. "We both know you're not to blame there. It was just an unfortunate set of circumstances."

"Now that you're in our good graces, something like that might not happen again," Bebe said.

"... I'm in your good graces?" he asked, looking like he saw a ghost.

"If you fuck with us again, Cartman—I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself from kicking your ass again," Wendy said with a frown. "But I'm willing to give you this last chance."

He stared at her for a couple of seconds, before he finally replied.

"Thanks," he said with a small smile. "I-I really appreciate it."

He felt like crying right there and then, but he held it in, not wanting to embarrass himself.

After a few more minutes of skating, the area started to get windy, and some girls started to shiver.

Eric went over to his stuff and quickly made a fire. Slowly the girls gathered around the little campfire, thanked him, and warmed themselves up. He had to admit it was nice when people were grateful to him. He wished he had started doing nice things sooner. It made him feel warm inside.

The girls spoke to each other for several minutes, and Eric kept to himself and stared at the fire, the light illuminating his pupils. Soon, it was about time that they all left.

"Well, that was fun. But we should get going now," Wendy said, picking herself up from the log she sat on. "Thanks for the fire and music, Cartman."

The other girls agreed and started changing back into their snow boots. The girls he helped ice skate gave their appreciation as well.

"So, will I be seeing you?" Heidi asked. She finished putting on her boots and walked up to him.

"No." Eric immediately responded. "You already have amazing friends, Heidi. You can do better than me."

She looked a little sad but still seemed to want to convince him of something.

"Eric, I just want you to know something."

He furrowed his brows. "Sure."

"I'm being reminded of the guy I fell in love with back then. Keep going in this direction," she begged, "Please."

"I will," he said with resolve. "I promise I'll try my best."

She gave him a small smile and took off.

The girl squad walked away, some waving at him.

"See you, Cartman!" Bebe yelled.

"Later…" he breathed with a small wave.

After they were out of sight and he was left alone again, the brunette started to laugh to himself quietly with a happy smile. Soon, the laughter came with some tears, and the happy laughs he was making turned into silent happy sobs.

He was glad he made up with them. Glad he was able to talk with some kids his age without pissing them off. Pleased that he was finally considered a decent person in other people's eyes. He never wanted to fuck this up.

Unbeknownst to him, when the girls were far enough away, Annie said something that sparked everyone's attention.

"I don't know if I was crazy or not, but when he caught me one of the times I fell, I could have sworn I felt muscles."

"Cartman?" Red asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, I thought so too," Nichole said, "I thought it was just the cold."

---

The Great Holiday Festival arrived right on Christmas Eve, and people were entering a very large beige mansion. The grass was clean-cut, the glass was clear, and many bright pot lights lit up the house. It was larger than the Black family's home, with a grand, lit-up courtyard behind the tall and black front gate, a parking lot at the side for all guests, and giant dark-brown twin doors opened for the public.

Many cars parked at the lot, while hundreds of people were at the front of the building as they poured in. Some security guards were being paid a lot to stand around and stay alert, courtesy of Eric. They let everyone enter after being checked, of course, and the only other people who were there to work were the crew involved with the lights, music, cleaning, and other small things. All of them were happy to work. If they weren't, they at least had a nice paycheck to look forward to by the end of the day. Eric even had some presents for each of them, as a thanks for working so close to the festive holiday.

The guests walked in through the front doors and met with a narrow hallway. They would pass many locked doors on both sides before coming up to the end of it, where an open doorway was. Through that doorway was the center of the party, which boomed with music.

The ceiling was high, with a large and fancy golden chandelier. Multiple tables with bright white covers and chairs were laid across the huge room. Decorations from all of the different holidays were everywhere you could look, including a large Christmas tree beside the food table. Food of many kinds were at one end of the room along the wall on a long table, where there was something for everybody, labeled with small signs for the ones who ate kosher, had nut allergies, and there were also diabetic options. With the food were paper plates, plastic utensils, and a soft drink dispenser with foam cups for those who wanted.

At the opposite end of the party room was a large stage. As of right now, there was no one on it as the purple curtains were closed, but the music was still playing on large speakers sitting at the stage's edges.

Hundreds were already inside, and more were coming in, but there was enough room for everyone. All around were people chatting and enjoying the food. Eric made sure to put on the flyers that food would be here for everybody and felt a little bad at the thought that someone might have eaten before.

Kids were running around and playing like they usually did, being told by laughing parents to slow down before they knocked anything over and ruined their suits and dresses. Meanwhile, the adults stood by or sat at the tables, talking. There were even a couple of tables where only the elderly sat, reminiscing about the good times in their day. All in all, the entire townspeople were bonding all around.

At the top of the tall and large room was a small balcony with a small table and chair. Eric, in a gray suit and tie, was staring down at the ongoing party over the edge.

He recognized a bunch of adults from around town. Eric looked over to Randy, Stan's dad, who gave alcohol to some of the other adults. He didn't mind if drinks were being spread around, but it wasn't his responsibility for their kids if they took any. The other parents looked like they were having a sweet time too. His mom was in a conversation with Stan's mom and looked to be enjoying herself. A look at Shiela, Kyle's mom, and he saw that she appreciated the flag with the menorah hung high on the wall. He meant it when he thought everyone should feel welcome on the holidays. This was a party for all of South Park, an apology from him, even if they couldn't know that. It would all go to shit if they did. Kyle would declare that he was up to something, others would agree with him, and the party would be ruined by stupid drama that he couldn't blame on anyone but himself.

That's part of why he was up here instead of with them. If he joined the party, what was he going to do anyway? Just walk aimlessly as the music rang in his ears? He was on good terms with the girls from the other day but would make it awkward if he suddenly joined them.

He noticed the girls sitting at one of the tables eating some food, mostly vegan. He still found it retarded, but he wouldn't shit on anyone's wants.

Not far from them were the boys from his class. He caught himself staring a little too much when he found them. Probably because he hadn't seen them in so long. It looked like Jimmy was telling a joke, and everyone laughed after he did. He sadly smiled when he saw they were having a good time. He wanted to be with them but knew he couldn't.

He moved his eyes away from his ex-classmates when the music changed from a Christmas song to a Hanukkah one. People were dancing to the music on the dedicated dance floor with no tables in the way. A bunch of colorful lights above copied from a club's dance floor. He had a fabulous DJ that knew the best songs for each holiday, and it looked like he was doing a good job judging by how the Broflovski family gleefully perked up at it. Shiela took Gerald onto the dance floor, then started to do a weird dance that got some looks from others. They didn't care. They were in their world with just the two of them. It was charming.

Suddenly, behind him, the glass doors were knocked. Turning around, Eric looked at one of his workers, a Spanish man in a tuxedo with a very familiar bag in his hand.

Smiling, he went up to the double glass doors and opened them.

"Muchas gracias," he said with a kind smile, taking the bag of KFC. The man closed the doors for him as he turned and approached his table. Even with the fresh food and drinks downstairs, which he could have easily requested someone to bring up, he still really loved kentucky. Some old habits were hard to kill off, he supposed. If his trainer found out, he'd probably lose his shit on him, but he hadn't eaten fried chicken in weeks. It wasn't his fault his mind was craving for it.

Already on his small personal table was a cold bottle of pop and an empty wine glass. He wanted to feel fancy today. Placing down his bag of food, he took out a bucket of fried chicken, a small bag of fries, and gravy.

Pouring himself a drink and taking the lid off his gravy, he dug in.

The party kept going without any hints of dying down. Everyone was having a good time, both old and young. Some of the children were getting tired, but after a quick minute rest on a seat, they'd get back up and go at it again. On the other hand, some of the adults were getting more drunk as time passed.

As Eric's eyes traveled across the room, he spotted someone getting slightly out of hand.

He could have called someone to kick the man out, but he didn't want to do that to Stan. He probably already felt embarrassed enough, pinching his nose as he normally did.

Randy was on top of one of the tables, drunk out of his mind as Sharon tried to get him down. Eventually, he did, but started arguing with a random stranger as he passed.

Eric knew how to deal with this, though. He knew Randy's mannerisms enough.

Leaning off the railing, he stood up, adjusting his tie as he left the balcony. On the other side of the glass doors was a small bedroom in case he needed to lie down. Passing the bed, he went out the door and into a hallway.

He knew his way around the building, having partly designed it himself with recommendations from professionals. He went downstairs and into a specific room in a hallway full of doorways. It was a dark and tight corridor here, which he walked through and turned the corner, where he came across a single spotlight in a dark room. There was a stool in front of a large black object with a microphone on top of it. Beside those was a mini fridge with a bunch of water bottles.

Opening the mini fridge, he drank a bottle of water to clear his throat. Then, he sat on the stool and coughed into his arm. He lifted the front compartment to reveal a bunch of piano keys.

Stretching his fingers by curling them between each other, he turned on the microphone, which had autotune already activated.

The music was suddenly stopped in the party room, much to the confusion of those enjoying it. The lights in the room dimmed, and a piano was heard throughout. The tune was delicate and immediately caught the attention of most people.

A voice was then heard.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," an unknown man said. He had the voice of a storyteller. "This piece was created to remind those of what they have and to never take it for granted. Happy holidays, everybody."

Eric started to sing. He wrote the song about the importance of a family and that even if you think you didn't have one, being here meant you did.

As he sang, he didn't have the leisure to know if people were listening and enjoying. He didn't let that be known through his voice. It was only him and the piano at that point.

He had this song ready for release on Christmas day in a few hours. Because of that, he was already prepared to do a live performance if he wanted or needed to. Seems it was the latter.

Unknown to Eric, all the adults were engrossed in his song in the party room.

The kids, however, were engrossed for a different reason.

Most of the children were fine, but a select few recognized the voice on the speakers as he sang. It was different from the introduction.

Kyle was doing alright at the party so far. He was in tune with the music, especially the Jewish ones, but he slowly stopped humming and dancing to this new one as his ears took in the song.

He knew this voice.

His content look turned into shock, and he exchanged a gaze with Stan, who also looked surprised. The other boy looked at Wendy, who had the same bewildered expression. It wasn't long until the other boys from their class approached them with curious looks. It seemed they all knew who that voice belonged to. As the adults swayed their heads back and forth to the slow rhythm, the boys took the initiative and began walking around.

The song wasn't too short, though it didn't overstay its welcome. Eric described it as the perfect length, and when the last piano key was pressed, he took off the microphone and blew a breath of relief.

Standing up, he left the dark room, which was only dark because of the stage curtains. He made his way around the building quickly and opened one of the entrances to the party room. He looked around until he noticed Randy, who had his wife giggling as he drunkenly smooched her cheek with love.

He couldn't contain his smile at the sight, happy that he probably saved Sharon from a miserable experience. Without looking back, he turned his heel, went down the front hallway, and took out his red jacket from one of the closet doors. He walked out the front door with his coat on, the cold air hitting his face and nostrils.

It was snowing out, which wasn't uncommon for South Park. That didn't take away from its beauty, though, especially in the dark skies where you could see it come down.

He couldn't stop his grin as he walked off, feeling giddy. His breath was misty, and his feet crunched the snow beneath him. The mansion he built for this party wasn't far from the forest, and he knew where to go.

He passed some buildings, all closed due to the holidays. The street was empty and dark save for the lamps and falling snow. No cars were on the street, and the roads had a clean sheet of snow at the top with no footprints or tire tracks. Just because they had snow all year round didn't mean he couldn't appreciate its beauty.

He arrived at one of South Park's neighborhoods. Save for the entrancing wind, it was quiet out. In the sky, you couldn't see the stars or moon past the snowy fog and clouds. The snowflakes could be seen briefly under the lamp posts' shine. It was wonderful.

Passing through the neighborhood and entering the forest, he walked across the snow-covered trail by heart. He came across a fallen tree, then a few minutes later, he jumped over a river, which was constantly moving and avoiding the curse of being frozen. He turned to a sharp right when he reached the frostbitten sign telling everyone not to litter and traveled between the trees until he came across his spot.

In between two of the mountains that accompanied South Park was a large valley. It seemed infinite as you could stare into the horizon from this height on a cliff. Unlike in the town, the clear night sky allowed the moon to shine down on the valley while surrounded by stars. It was supernatural in a way that the atmosphere changed so much, even though he didn't walk far. Eric stood there with his hands in his pockets, taking in the amazing view.

He would stay here at times and work on his novel or music. It was nice and peaceful, with a gorgeous view, where he could be alone and work on things undisturbed. Although, he knew this would have been an amazing spot to bring the guys. They would have loved it here.

"Cartman?"

Heh. He was imagining Kyle right now. It would end up in another argument if it was the old him. He missed those days, admittedly, even if he would change some things. Arguing with Kyle was fun, even if it wasn't the best of choices.

The other guys were cool too. Kenny would always be a loveable guy, even if he got into dumb shit like getting high and being hypnotized by girls all the time. At least he could understand that last part a little after falling for Heidi.

Stan would always be a dork-hippie-fag in his eyes, but that wasn't a bad thing. While he always made fun of him and Kyle for being very close, he secretly admired their strong bond. It made him want something like that. He could only wish. His love for animals was sometimes overbearing, but to each their own, right? Besides, it wasn't like he didn't have a soft spot for cats.

"Wait," he thought.

He furrowed his brows, turning around.

Kyle stood there with his green jacket over his party clothes. Eric didn't respond.

Kyle stood there momentarily before looking angry and said sharply, "A 'hello' back would be nice."

Frowning, Eric finally replied, "H-hey, Kahl. Did you… follow me here?"

"Yeah," Kyle said, looking a little sheepish, "I saw you leaving after you finished singing."

"Oh." The realization didn't hit until moments later. How did Kyle know?

He must have shown off his shock because Kyle continued. "I know what your voice sounds like, dude."

But how could he recognize his voice through the autotune? Unless… it wasn't on to begin with!

"Shit."

"We all do," another voice spoke.

Eric looked to the trees behind Kyle and saw Stan and Kenny peek out with the other guys they were friends with.

"You all followed me?"

Stan didn't reply to that. Instead, he looked down at his feet as he asked a question.

"Did you do that to stop my dad?"

Eric blinked, wondering how Stan even came close to this conclusion. "Why do you ask?"

"Because after he started making a scene, the music cut off and your song stopped him. It was like the song was targeted at him, I dunno."

"Would you even believe me if I said yes?"

"Well, you were looking down at us from that balcony up top, Eric," Butters said.

Eric looked at them slack-jawed. "You saw me?"

"Well, you weren't really being sneaky with it," Craig said. "Clyde saw you after we tipped his chair back and made him fall."

He was right, Eric thought. If he wanted to, he could have concealed himself better but chose not to. Maybe he wanted to be spotted but didn't realize it. Did the girls see him too? Were the adults too drunk to notice him?

"What were you doing up there anyway?" Kenny asked through his parka.

What should he say? The truth was that he thought it wouldn't be right to be down at the party. Maybe honesty was the way to go with this.

He scratched the side of his head through his hat. "I would just make people uncomfortable," he said. "And awkward. Plus, I can keep a good eye on everyone and make sure things were going smoothly."

At that second point, he made the other boys speechless momentarily.

Kyle then asked, "Is this… your party?"

Eric shrugged. "Yeah."

"Holy shit," was all Tolkien could say.

"H-how?" Kyle asked.

That was a valid question, he thought.

"I have a lot of money," he explained casually. "So I made this party so everyone could celebrate together." He then moved his eyes a little downward. "And to apologize for all the shit I did in the past."

Kyle looked like he wanted to say something, but Eric beat him.

"I know." He chuckled to himself. "You don't trust me. And now you think this is some scheme that I need everyone together for."

"No!" Kyle shouted. "That's not it, Cartman. I was just gonna say that… that I was sorry for not coming to your last party."

"Oh, yeah, I remember that," Craig said.

"Yeah," Stan said, "I was gonna go but then Kyle said he wasn't because he thought you were going to embarrass him or something, then Kenny agreed with him…" He trailed off, knowing he was just spouting excuses.

"I don't blame you guys, seriously." Eric said with a wave of his hand. "We all know how I used to be."

Kyle took a step forward. "Still, it was uncool."

"Stop it." Eric cut in sharply. "We both know you can't blame yourself on that." He turned around, looking at the valley, finding it more interesting. "I don't deserve your forgiveness. Everytime you tried to give me another chance, I just fucked everything up again."

"Maybe we don't need to forgive you," Kyle said, "At least not now. You're supposed to earn it, right? So maybe we can let you start doing that?"

Eric chuckled. "You're too nice for your own good, Kahl." Then he frowned. "I still don't understand how you managed to put up with me all these years."

"Hey, remember, you're the one who stopped talking to us," reminded Stan. "If you really want to change, we'll give you a chance, dude."

"Yeah!" the other guys yelled.

"Why?" Eric said in anger, whipping around and frowning at them. He hated that these guys would repeat the same mistake with him. "What if I relapse again?

"This is different," Kyle said. " You chose to stop talking to us. You left us alone. You threw this party but didn't want attention or make yourself seem special out of it, and at the party you didn't do anything to anyone that ruined their night. You helped Stan's dad from ruining his family's night. Even here, right now, you didn't even belittle my religion or said anything offensive. Not once."

"You didn't rip on any of us," Stan said. "Even Butters."

"Yeah," Butters said.

"I've known you for years, Cartman," Kyle said, "You're a good liar. The best liar. But I still think I can somewhat tell if you are being truthful or not because I know you so well. These past few months though, I believe you're being genuine in wanting to change."

Then, Kyle smiled at him. "Maybe you already did. After all, we haven't spoken to you in a while."

Eric looked at him in shock. Did Kyle mean all that? He wasn't known as the sneaky Jew he always labeled him as.

Concluding that Kyle was sincere, Eric smiled back at him. "Thanks, Kahl."

He looked at the others, who were all staring at him. Almost everyone gave him an encouraging smile, even Kenny, who Eric could tell under his hood. Craig was the only one who didn't smile, but that was more who he was as a person than anything.

He then spoke to all of them as a whole. "If you're willing to give me one last chance, then I won't disappoint you."

"We kinda owe you one," Craig said. "After what we did during the Skankhunt incident."

Eric laughed at that. "It's cool. I forgave you guys a long time ago for that one."

The conversation was interrupted when some of the boys started to visibly shiver. They were all wearing their jackets, which helped a little, but underneath were still their party clothes.

"Can we get out of here? My legs are freezing!" Tweek yelled, clutching close to Craig.

"Yeah, let's go," Tolkien said, hugging himself.

"Ah shit. Do you know the way back, Cartman?" Kyle asked, starting to feel the cold as well.

"Yeah, follow me. The party's still going on."

Eric led the boys back down the path back to the party. He knew the way by heart, having come here so often before. When they arrived at the building and entered, they saw that the party was still in full effect, with music blaring and people crowding around.

The first thing that happened was some of their parents approaching the boys and asking where they went.

"We just went to get some fresh air, dad," Kyle answered.

Afterward, they took Eric to their table and sat down to talk while eating some cake. After warming up, their jackets were hung on the back of their chairs.

Soon, the song changed, and it was one of the more popular ones among the group. The girls from their grade looked really into it.

Wendy approached their table and asked, "Stan, want to dance?"

"Sure!" Stan replied with a smile, getting out of his seat and taking Wendy's hand. Together they made their way to the dance floor.

The following person to speak up was Tolkien. "I'm gonna go see if Nichole wants to dance." He then left for the girl he spoke of.

Craig took hold of Tweek's wrist and pulled it slightly. "Let's go too."

One by one, the boys left the table to dance, either with their romantic partners like Stan or with each other like Butters and Jimmy.

The last two left at the table were Eric and Kyle.

Kyle pushed his seat back. "I guess we're headed to the dance floor?"

"Do you have someone to dance with?" Eric asked.

"Me? Nah."

Eric nodded his head stupidly. The party's silence hung in the air before he spoke again.

"Sorry."

Kyle turned to him. He had his eyes down.

"You know, for ruining all of your past dates," he said.

"Hey, water under the bridge, dude," Kyle responded nonchalantly. Then, the redhead smirked. "Do you want to dance with me? "

Eric rolled his eyes with a smile. "I forgot how head over heels you were for me."

They sat there for a moment, and right when Kyle was about to get off his chair, his eyes ran over a girl far from them.

"You should ask Heidi for a dance," Eric suggested.

Heidi was all on her lonesome but didn't seem to mind as she ate some vegan pasta. All the other girls seemed to have run off to dance.

"Nah, she doesn't like me like that," Kyle responded.

"Sorry."

"No, I mean, she came up to me after she changed back to her normal self and lost all that weight she gained. She wanted to be friends with me but it was her choice without your influence."

"Ah."

After waiting a few seconds, Kyle said, " You should ask her to dance, Cartman."

"No." Eric immediately shut down, frowning at him. "She deserves better."

Kyle furrowed his brows. "She deserves whatever makes her happy. And you did before, when you tried to be a better person back then. Maybe this time things will be better."

"'Maybe?'"

"If not, Heidi's learned her lesson from last time. She won't be stuck with you if you relapse and try to control her again."

"Still isn't an excuse to hurt her the same way," Eric said sadly.

Kyle looked between Cartman and Heidi. They seemed content with being left out and sitting alone, but he wouldn't have that.

Taking Cartman's wrist, he pulled him towards the girls' table.

"Kahl! What are you doing?!"

He ignored his protests, little did he know Eric could have pulled away from him at any time. Yet, he didn't.

Walking up to Heidi, the girl noticed them when they closed in on her.

"Hey, Kyle. Hey, Eric. What's up?"

"Come on," Kyle said with a smile as Eric looked nervous beside him. "Let's go to the others and have some fun."

He reached up, taking Heidi's hand with his free one, and pulled her off the chair. She seemed too bewildered to mind, only staring at Eric while the boy used all his power not to return the look.

Kyle led the two of them to the middle of the dance floor, where all their combined friends were dancing to the loud rave music.

The girls quickly took notice of Cartman and walked up to them.

"Hey, Cartman!" Wendy shouted over the music, "Finally arrived, huh!?"

"Your song earlier was beautiful, Cartman!" Nichole told.

Kyle raised his eyebrows. "You're on speaking terms!?"

Bebe nodded. "Yeah! We saw him at Stark's Pond and he was cool!"

"Oh! That's sweet!" Kyle yelled, elbowing Eric in the side. "Did you guys know that this is Cartman's party?!"

"What?! You're lying!" Red yelled.

"Hey!" Clyde said, "Do something to prove it!"

"Yeah!" everyone else yelled. It didn't sound accusing. Instead, it was screams of anticipation, making Eric's chest flutter.

Eric gave a small smile. "I'll do something at the end! For now let's just dance and chill!"

And they gladly did just that. The kids had a blast as they synced their bodies to the music.

The girls urged Eric to show them some moves. They were still gushing about the performance he unintentionally showed them at Stark's Pond. He was flattered and felt put on the spot. He managed to dance a little but laughed it off before getting too far into it.

The boys and girls all took the spotlight one after another, but the show stars were Butters and Kenny, who managed to steal everyone's gaze with their incredible dancing talent.

As part of proof it was Eric's party, he asked around if anyone had a song request. Annie had one in mind, and everyone agreed it was a good choice. So, after a quick text to his DJ, the song transitioned to the pick.

The group all jumped up and down to the song, which was also a hit amongst the adults. At that moment, Eric was the happiest he'd been in a very long time. Even through all his accomplishments, until this moment, he was feeling lonely. But now, he was surrounded by all his friends and couldn't be happier. He never wanted this moment to end.

"Hey!" he shouted, a new idea springing into his mind. "Are we gonna count down to New Year's together?!"

"Hell yeah!" Kenny shouted in agreement.

"It could be just us at my house! No parents!"

"That sounds like a plan!" Wendy yelled.

"Sweet!"

Suddenly, Eric felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Heidi, who stood there timidly. A little behind her was Kyle, who was grinning while giving him a thumbs-up.

He would reprimand Kyle later, he supposed.

"Hey, Eric. Want to dance?" she asked with a tiny smile.

Eric frowned at her. "Are you sure?"

Slowly, she stepped forward while looking down and took his hands in hers. "Yeah." She raised her head to look at him. "I'm sure."

They partied for a couple more songs that Stan and Red requested. At first, Eric's mind and heart were racing too much to get into it, but it wasn't long until Heidi's dancing mind controlled him. He was having a blast dancing with her. It brought some old happy memories that were embedded deep within his consciousness. Soon, everyone was getting tired, and it was minutes away from Christmas.

Eric slipped away from his friends and took out his phone to text his DJ.

The last song made its run until it ended, fading into silence. The sounds that occupied the room were the conversations of the townspeople.

Eric climbed the steps at the side of the stage, taking the microphone waiting there and speaking into it.

"Can I have everyone's attention?"

The voices came to a halt. The adults looked to the stage curious, mainly from those who knew Eric. People like his mother and the kids from his class looked as well, but more in anticipation than anything.

"I would like to thank everyone for attending my party tonight."

The adults looked shocked, turning to each other to see the mirrored reactions.

"I wanted to throw this party so that everyone could celebrate together. South Park isn't just a town where a bunch of families live. It's more like South Park is a giant family. A giant, fucked up family, but one nonetheless."

A few of the people laughed at that.

"We've all been through a lot. But we always had each other's backs through the toughest of times. Some of which were caused by me. That's another reason why I threw this party. I wanted to apologize to everyone here that I've wronged. Whether it was just being an annoyance, or doing something to hurt you, I just wanted to say that… I'm sorry."

It was silent in the room for a few seconds before some people started clapping, namely the kids, some parents, and Eric's mom. Not long after, the rest followed, and the entire room was filled with applause.

Eric smiled, holding back some tears. Moving the mic back to his face, he said, "We have one last song for you, everybody. Happy holidays!"

Cheers were heard as he turned, and the curtains were opened, where the piano he played before still sat.

Time seemed to slow down as he made his walk to it. He could feel the eyes of every partier lying on his back as he got to the seat of the instrument and sat.

Clearing his throat and siping the room-temperature water, he signaled his DJ to start the night's last song.

---

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

"Happy New Year!"

The kids cheered in Eric's living room as they watched the countdown in New York on his flat-screen television. With soft drinks in their hands and junk food on the table, they laughed and hung around as their parents were off getting piss drunk somewhere.

"Happy New Year, Cartman!" Kyle shouted when he got around to him.

"Happy New Year, Kahl!" he replied with a smile.

The two bumped fists, and Kyle took a sip of his soda.

"Happy New Year, Eric!" shouted Heidi from behind, hugging him.

"Happy New Year, Heidi." He turned and hugged her back.

It had been a whole week since The Great Holiday Festival. On Christmas day, all of Eric's friends were surprised to see an extra gift sent anonymously for them at their doorstep. He had been in London for government work a few weeks prior and came across one of the most incredible toy stores he had ever seen. It looked like one out of a movie but even better! So, of course, he had to get some things for everyone back home. But the best part about Christmas Day was simply spending time with his mom. She even got him a gift, just an ordinary stuffed bunny, but it still meant the world to him. He bought her some gifts, too, a wonderful assortment of perfumes and jewelry he came across in Los Angeles, which she was beyond overjoyed to receive. They spent the entire day together, sitting on the couch and conversing about life. After eating lunch and losing things to discuss, they relaxed for the rest of the day, watching their favorite television shows.

Every day after Christmas, Eric had been catching up with his friends and hanging out with the girls. He'd also grown closer with Heidi, having gone on a few outings with her. There was a trip to her house, where he saw her parents and apologized to them for how he treated their daughter. Obviously, they were wary at first, but over a few days, Eric convinced them by making Heidi shine with that kind smile. At one point, he was taken off to the side, where they said the spark she had vanished when they first broke up for good. He was happy to hear that he fixed that.

Eric congratulated everyone he could see on surviving another whole year. Soon, the excitement went down, and the little get-together returned to normal. Everyone was lounging around in his living room on his couch, bean bags on the floor, and folding chairs, either staring at the New Year's Resolution on his giant expensive TV or talking with each other.

They had a few conversations about what they did over the week, their dread of school opening back up, and other shit. Eventually, however, the topic came to one that Eric wanted to avoid.

"So, where'd you get all that money from, Cartman?" Wendy asked.

Everyone else suddenly ended their conversations with each other, now interested in this new topic. They turned their heads toward the giant boy.

Eric nervously chuckled, darting his eyes around at all of them. "Don't worry about it." He popped a chip in his mouth.

"Come on, Cartman, tell us!" Kyle said as he ate his chips.

The way Kyle spoke showed hints of mistrust. He wasn't surprised by it, but it still hurt.

"I don't want to accuse you of anything, Cartman, but why else would you keep it a secret if it wasn't bad?"

Kenny lowered the television's volume, making the room completely silent.

"Cartman," Kyle continued, "I'm going to be real for a second here. I know you mean it when you say you want to change, but after thinking for a while, I can't help but think you used a terrible scheme to get loads of money. I'm sorry but I just can't think differently on this."

Eric looked at the others, all giving off the same energy as Kyle.

Stan placed a hand on his shoulder. "He's right, dude. Knowing you for so long, without you showing us how you made a lot of money I'm just going to assume… bad things. That's just how it is, sorry."

"You've been treating people well, Cartman." Wendy said, remembering the other day when he went out for dinner with a few of the girls. "I for one enjoy your company."

A chorus of agreement was heard throughout the room.

"And I want to continue trusting you, but…" she trailed off.

"It's fine. I get it." Eric said, looking down at his feet and sighing silently so no one would hear.

He had their trust. Finally, after all this time. Genuine, consenting faith.

He could come out with it now. He trusted them, too, after all.

Chuckling a bit, he finally said, "Fine. Wait here."

He pushed himself off his couch from between Stan and Butters and went upstairs straight to his desktop computer.

Digging through his desk drawer, he pulled out a small USB drive. Then, he went over to his bed where his laptop was sitting and took it too.

Arriving back downstairs, where everyone was waiting patiently, he sat back down in front of the couch on the floor so more people could see. Behind him, Stan and Butters scooted closer together, allowing the others to squeeze in and surround him.

Eric opened and logged into his laptop. Kyle commented on something he saw as he was putting in his USB.

"Cool wallpaper."

Eric didn't respond. He went to one of the files on the drive and double-clicked on it.

"You read it?" Bebe asked. "It's really good huh?"

"I wrote it."

They stared at him blankly for a moment before they all lost their shit.

"What?!"

"No way!"

Kyle pointed a finger at him. "Y-you're BigBSP?!"

"It's 'BigB-SP' actually," he corrected. "It stands for, 'Big Boned South Park.'"

"No fucking way," Kenny said.

"That's where I recognized the writing!" It was Stan who yelled.

"Oh, yeah! The Christmas story!" Red said.

"You guys remember that shit?" Eric asked with a smile.

"Of course!" Stan said. "I mean, other than the things you did to rile up Kyle, it was really good!"

Opening the document file on his laptop, he showed everyone the pages of notes for the first novel he wrote.

"You were going to make Elvis the God of Gravity?" Heidi asked after she read the jot.

"Yeah, but I thought Darius was better fit for the narrative," Eric explained, "Elvis is still too wimpy to make a great king, so it didn't make sense when Darius was still there. I could have killed him off to push Elvis but I like his relationship with Shaki too much."

As he explained some things, the others had questions that weren't surprising. He did his best to answer most of them without spoiling anything and was happy to hear they couldn't wait for the newest book. Butters even suggested adding a character he made up, but Eric kindly shot down the idea once he realized that Butters' character didn't have any flaws. The girls told Butters to leave Eric be and let him write, but Eric came up with the idea of a character who only had flaws, which the blond liked. He then told the others that if they had any ideas or designs for anything they wanted, they could always sneak in a suggestion.

"To think that all this time, while we were talking about it, you were right there listening the whole time," Craig said.

"Yeah." Eric nodded. "It was cool to see you guys liking it so much. Also I kept hearing my music in the halls. That was pretty weird hearing my work everyday for like a week."

"Oh yeah, that's also you!" Annie said in realization.

"Yeah." Eric thought of something. "Come on, let me show y'all something."

He stood up, bringing his laptop, the others following, and went to his basement door. Leading them downstairs, they were all slack-jawed when they saw the music production studio with black, soundproofing walls.

"Okay, what the FUCK haven't you been up to in the past few months?" Kyle said as his eyes traveled around the basement.

Eric laughed internally. If only he knew he was working with the FBI.

"But it doesn't sound anything like you, Eric," Heidi mentioned.

"It's all autotune," Eric explained. "I don't exactly have a good rep in the music industry, and I knew you guys would recognize it so I used autotune. I was supposed to use it at the GHF, but I guess someone fucked it up."

"Good thing they did, huh?" Kyle said, poking him.

He chuckled. "I suppose so."

But then Kyle poked him again.

Then again.

Then one more time with his mouth open.

"Touch me more, why doncha?" Eric said with a smirk.

Kyle yelped back with a small blush. "Sorry! I just… You don't feel as fat as I remember."

Eric grabbed Kyle's wrist and put the Jew's hand on his lower torso.

Hesitantly, Kyle squeezed and widened his eyes. "Holy shit." Then he stared at him. "I swear, the next thing you're going to tell me is that you went to Mars."

Eric laughed.

He let everyone mess around with the studio, and a few did karaoke. He showed those who were curious how some programs and devices worked and gave them a sample of his upcoming track.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, Butters asked, "Hey, Eric. Are you coming back to school?" He knocked his knuckles together. "I miss ya."

"Yeah," Kenny agreed, "It's kinda boring without you there."

Eric's mind flashed back to the end of the Great Holiday Festival when PC Principal approached him.

"Eric, I want you to know that you are welcome to return to school whenever you wish."

"Wasn't I expelled?"

"I never expelled you, Eric. I just said that to try and scare you into behaving. But it looks to me that you're walking down the right path."

"I'll… think about it."

"School isn't just about grades, you know," PC Principal explained, "Growing up with your peers and the experiences you have with them is a part of it too. Just keep that in mind."

"Heh," Eric smiled, looking at Kenny, "Even if I come back now, I'm not going to do dumb shit and humor everyone."

"Doesn't change the fact that it's a little different without you," Kyle said.

"Well, maybe," Eric continued. "Right when school starts again I'm taking my mom on a world trip. I wanted to do something with just the two of us."

"Aww, that's sweet," Wendy cooed.

"So maybe when I come back. I kinda miss school too, even though I really fucking hate the shit they have you do."

The others seemed content with that, and they relaxed a bit until it was around 1 AM. One of their mothers picked the girls up as a carpool, and the boys got ready for bed. Eric wanted everyone to sleep over, but he didn't want parents complaining about their daughter's safety, innocence, or nonsense. Maybe later, he could convince the parents to let the whole group have one giant sleepover. It would be cool.

The morning of the first school day arrived too soon. Today was the Cartman's flight to leave. It was too early to expect anyone to see them off, so Eric didn't, but to his surprise, his three best friends were at his front door in the morning.

With a loving goodbye, he and his ecstatic mom left on a first-class flight.

They left for London, which wasn't new to Eric, but he was happy his mom was having a great time. After staying there for half a week, they traveled through many countries, from Europe to exotic Australia. Time flew by quickly as they met major landmarks worldwide, like the Eiffel Tower in Paris, Machu Picchu in Peru, Easter Island in Chile, and many more. He had visited many of these landmarks before during his many adventures with or without his friends. But because of said adventures, he never had the time to kick his feet back and relax to appreciate them in their full glory like now.

They would take Ubers, the cool trains in Asian countries, and he even rented a sick sports car his mom was scared to drive. They dined at top-rated restaurants, stepped on the most relaxing beaches, partook in exciting events, and stayed in the finest hotels. The last destination he had planned was Dubai, where he would take his mother to the tallest building in the world, Burj Khalifa.

Their trip took around three months to complete. The best thing he took from the trip was his ever-growing bond with his mom. There wasn't a single night they wouldn't say goodnight to each other, and almost every hour spent was with each other. Their mother-and-son relationship was never stronger; he wouldn't trade it for anything.

While Eric was anything but sad traveling with his mom, he did miss home. Maybe next time, he would take her on a shorter trip somewhere lovely for only a week at most. After enough thought, there was enough money to take all his friends out too. So maybe he would do just that over summer break. The more he thought about the potential idea, the more he grew excited. He could also get the parents to come, but it would be a lot of money. Not to mention he would have to plan and be organized so everyone was available. Maybe by the time he published a new book, worked a little more with the government, or wrote a new album, he wouldn't have to worry about that.

Now they were finally back in South Park, and while passing the elementary school back to their house in an Uber, the thoughts of returning to the Education building swarmed his mind. He contemplated it and asked himself what was the worst that could happen. If he wasn't motivated enough to do schoolwork, it wasn't any different from before. And his future didn't depend on his grades anymore as long as he used his money responsibly and kept writing as well as he did. He could even ask for more tasks from the FBI if he was desperate. PC Principal had a point that a part of school was growing up with his peers. If he were to stay out of school, the amount of experiences he would miss would be insurmountable.

It was lunchtime, and as he was taking out some clothes from his suitcase to put away, the doorbell rang.

His mom was in the shower, so he opened the door, revealing Kyle, who looked like he had better days.

"Hey, Cartman," Kyle said with a dry tone he thought would be more enthusiastic. "Welcome back."

"Kahl?" Eric looked him over. He looked miserable. "What's wrong?"

"C-can I come in?" he asked.

"Of course, dude!" Eric leaned forward, wrapping an arm around Kyle's shoulders as he led him in.

"How was your trip?" Kyle asked.

"It was fine," Eric quickly answered as they stood in his living room. "Now tell me what's wrong." It wasn't a question, but a demand.

Kyle sighed, opening and closing his mouth like he was trying to find his voice.

Eric was patient as he waited. The room was silent until Kyle managed to say something.

"There's these… two new kids in school," Kyle started. "They came to South Park during New Year's, and they're dating, a-and there's a new Vice Principal."

"Okay." Eric nodded, urging him to continue.

"T-they're horrible, Cartman!" Kyle suddenly yelled, shocking Eric. "They're tougher than sixth graders! They've been picking on everyone !"

It was a lot to process in that short span of time. "They don't get detention?"

"The new vice principal is one of their dads," Kyle explained. "They have something on PC Principal, and he can't do anything! The two kids are pissing everyone off, but they beat up whoever tries to fight back, and they won't get in trouble for it!"

Eric just stood there, lost for words.

"God, Cartman, I know you've changed, but I don't know who else to go to!" Kyle said, his voice starting to crack as tears appeared under his eyes. "They dislocated Clyde's jaw a couple of months ago! Forced Red to throw up her lunch last week! Mr. Garrison can't even teach properly! Stan was left with a broken nose at the park! They kept pulling Wendy's hair the other day until she cried! They kicked me in the balls for fun! They…"

Eric stared at him in utter shock as Kyle said his following words more slowly.

"They gave Heidi a black eye a-and stabbed Butters..." he managed to whisper out, hugging himself as he choked back a sob.

"W-what…" was all he could say before Kyle continued.

"They've completely taken over the school, Cartman! They're the absolute worst, and nobody's been able to do anything. Apparently, one of their moms is a judge in a different town, so they're protected or something, but both of their parents are fucking with the adults too!" Kyle yelled, breathing heavily. "Every day when I come home, I think I escape them, but then my dad goes crazy about them at the dinner table! My mom is as silent as a rock nowadays! You know how my mom is! She's never like that! It hurts!"

Eric gave him time to calm down. Eventually, when Kyle's breathing became normal again, he spoke again.

"I-I'm sorry, Cartman. I know I'm being selfish, coming to you when you want to be a better person. But I seriously don't even know what to do."

Eric closed his eyes and breathed through his nose. "What are their names?" he asked plainly.

Kyle blinked at him before blurting out stupidly, "W-what?"

"Their names," Eric repeated.

Kyle blinked at him once, then said with his eyes pointed to the floor, "Haris Woods and Dell Anderson."

"And where are they now?" He looked at Kyle with a rugged look.

Kyle was caught off guard when he raised his eyes to match his gaze. The intense look he received was one he didn't see in a long time, but he managed to reply while wiping his wet cheek. "A-at school. They're probably at the playground since it's recess. It's been empty since they claimed it theirs. I knew you were back so I ditched school and came here, sorry."

Eric walked forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't apologize. I'll always have your back, Kahl. No matter what."

Kyle meekly nodded as Cartman grabbed his signature red jacket and cyan hat. It was until now did he realize the big boy was only wearing a gray-blue t-shirt. "What are you gonna do?" he asked.

Eric didn't answer, only heading out the front door with a pissed-off look, putting on his red gloves.

Kyle followed close behind with a nervous look on his face. He noticed that Cartman was headed in the direction of the school, which worried him a little.

Eric walked so fast that Kyle struggled to keep up, but the red-haired boy didn't say anything about it. He pulled out his phone, opened an app, and searched through. The school wasn't far from his house in this small town. Their walk would only take less than five minutes. During that time, his eyes were glued to his phone as Kyle trailed behind him, his peripheral vision aiding his awareness.

As the school came to their vision, he put his phone away and picked up the pace. Turning off the sidewalk, he walked down the front pavement, entering the school's double doors.

Immediately, all the kids sitting around the main lobby snapped their heads to the doors that slammed open. They all stared at him as he didn't halt, walking past them and entering the main hallway with Kyle close behind. They stood up and followed him one by one, creating a crowd.

Eric ignored everyone as he went through the hallway. As he passed many students, they all had the same pattern of noticing him and perking up. He realized something; it was as depressing as a funeral in here. Rather than the bustling students that acted as every regular group of kids, they were silent as rocks.

He turned the corner to a new hallway of lockers, where more kids stood and sat. They, too, followed the pattern of recognizing him and deciding to follow, all curious of his intentions.

Far behind him, Mr. Mackey saw him and rushed to the principal's office. One of the lenses of his glasses was cracked. Opening the door, he leaned in, whispering, "PC Principal, Eric is here!"

PC Principal looked stressed as he sat at his desk with his head in his hands. After hearing Mackey's words, he looked up at him in surprise. "Eric Cartman?"

"He looks pissed off!" Mr. Mackey continued in a whisper. "I think he knows about Haris and Dell!"

PC Principal opened his mouth in shock.

Before Eric reached the cafeteria, he encountered a familiar group of girls.

It was the first group he paid any mind to as he walked quickly. Looking over them as they noticed him, he saw most of them looked terrible emotionally, and some had physical injuries. Nelly had it the worst, with a broken leg in a cast.

His legs finally came to a stop when his eyes came across Heidi. He saw her face and could tell she had on makeup to hide the black eye. He knew her skin tone more than he should, being her ex-boyfriend.

He slowly approached her and eyed her face with a shocked expression as she stared back, stunned.

Turning angry momentarily, he turned heel and continued his way forward.

Heidi reached forward, grabbed his wrist, and stopped him but said nothing. After a few seconds, she let go and didn't stop him the second time.

He knew what that was. Heidi was worried for him. And while he was flattered, his mind wasn't in the right place.

He pushed the doors to the cafeteria, the girls now with the crowd behind him.

Here, he instantly spotted his group of friends sitting at a table in silence. None of them were taking a bite out of their lunch or even gandered at each other.

Butters was the first to take notice of his presence. "Eric?"

The other boys looked at him with wide-eyed and slacked jaws.

He didn't answer them and continued to the school's back doors, where the playground sat. The doors had windows giving a view of outside, and he looked through them. He saw two kids. A boy with straight, medium-length black hair wearing a dark blue sweater and a girl with long locks of light-blond hair wearing a purple jacket. The two of them were in conversation on the merry-go-round.

"That's them," Kyle said.

He was answering a question the large boy already knew the answer to. The only thing he gave in response was a grunt as he opened the door to the playground. No one dared to follow him past this point.

By now, both school floors had kids and teachers watching from all of the windows. PC Principal and Mr. Mackey were in the cafeteria, and Strong Woman came up next to them. Little did Eric know, they could hear everything from inside. He didn't realize the monitors in the hallways and cafeteria with a live feed to the school playground, too focused on the atmosphere of the school and finding his targets. Haris and Dell had the new Vice Principal install them so they could boast to everyone at recess. Kind of like the news channel Eric had done a while ago. They all watched as Eric approached the two newest students that have been their hell for three months.

"What's up?" Eric said as he got to them, making them stop talking and turn to him. He had an expressionless look on his face, standing far enough away so they could still be able to hear him clearly.

They eyed him up as they lazily sat still on the playground's merry-go-round.

"Who's this kid, babe?" Haris asked Dell, who only uncaringly shrugged while drinking some iced coffee in her hand. "Fuck off, loser."

Eric chuckled. "That used to be my role. You know, pissing off classmates, causing chaos, telling people what's up, being the biggest asshole possible."

Haris laughed. "What? Are you mad we took over or something? Deal with it."

Eric smiled at him. "I'm just saying I'm like your predecessor. I'm not mad, not for that anyway."

Everyone inside the school listened intently, all invested in this conversation.

He put his hands in his jacket pockets, continuing, "I know this entire school like the back of my hand. The students and the teachers. Every nook and cranny, hell, I could probably know a specific washroom just by looking at a tile."

"We don't need your help, retard. Stop trying to sway us over," Dell said sharply.

"No, of course not," he said in that tone of voice many people were familiar with. The one where he used when he believed he was the one in control. "You both have the entire school wrapped around your finger. You're basking in the control you have over everyone. Why would you need old news? What else would you need?"

"Get lost!" Haris yelled, getting annoyed with Eric. "Leave us alone faggot!"

"Oh, don't mind me. I just came to tell you to leave my friends the fuck alone."

Dell rolled her eyes. "What the fuck do you want from us, fatass."

Eric smiled. He wasn't called that in a long time, and his jacket still made him look fat, so it was warranted. "To leave."

Haris raised a brow. "The fuck you mean 'leave?'"

"The school, South Park, our home," he answered. "Nobody wants you here."

Dell scoffed. "So?" she asked with a smirk. "Who's gonna make us? You, chubby?"

"Yeah." Eric removed his red gloves and cyan hat, putting them in his pockets. "Me, bitch."

He saw Dell's eye twitch, and she told Haris, "Holy fuck this kid's annoying. Just kick his ass already!"

Haris grunted, following her order and walking up to Eric, threateningly getting in his face.

"Just get back inside and shut the fuck up to save yourself a trip to the infirmary," he snarled.

"I told you," Eric said in a calm tone, "if you don't leave I'll make you leave."

Haris scoffed at that, looking away for a single second.

Eric narrowed his eyes, predicting that a punch was coming.

As he expected, Haris suddenly threw a fist forward sharply.

Eric leaned his body to the side, caught his arm, turned him around, and then pushed him back.

Haris took a few shocking steps as he stopped his momentum and looked back at Eric for a moment before gritting his teeth.

Everyone who saw inside the school was either staring in shock or uncovering their eyes and wondering what happened.

"That was your first chance," Eric said, "I'll give you three, even though I'm being a huge fucking hypocrite. Even just standing here makes me a hypocrite. But I can't just sit by ignoring you two after I found out what was going on. I'm being nice here. Really nice after the shit I heard you did. So I would take it."

Haris just looked at him in a fury.

"What the fuck are you doing, Harry?!" yelled Dell.

Haris gave her the finger in response to the nicknams and ran up to Eric angrily, throwing another punch.

Like the last one, Eric caught his arm, but this time, he spun both of them three hundred and sixty degrees. At the end of the spin, he lightly pushed his back and made him fumble forward again.

Eric stood there with a bored expression as the other boy growled in irritation. Inside the school, not a single person could believe their eyes.

"That's two," Eric said. "Are you sure you want to see this ending?"

Haris turned to him with a glare that could kill a bear. Then, with a loud battle cry, he sprinted toward Eric. Clenching his fist tight, he punched him in the face.

Everyone watching gasped. The fat boy was done for. If there was one thing they all knew: Eric Cartman couldn't take a punch for shit. On the day he could, he couldn't win a fistfight without playing dirty.

Haris was stunned for a moment before he realized his punch had landed, then he laughed.

Eric, who had his head turned from the punch, stood still. The other boy's laughter stopped when he turned his head back to him and rubbed his cheek, which had a small bruise. Then, he smiled.

"Three."

Eric's fist smashed into Haris's cheek in a split second, making the boy stumble backward a few steps, with Eric chasing using a slow walk.

Haris felt his head spin for a few seconds, his vision blurry and lip busted. Composing himself with a growl, he threw two quick punches at the big brunette.

Eric weaved around them one after the other swiftly, then punched him again on the other cheek. He blocked two incoming punches with his arms before delivering two of his own to the sides of his stomach. Then, the brunette caught the next punch and spun Haris around, slamming him into the spring rider near them and making him fall to the floor. He stood over Haris as the boy groaned in pain with clenched eyes while kneeling on the ground.

Dell couldn't keep her mouth shut in shock, much like the students inside the school.

"H-holy shit…" Stan breathed out.

Wendy was more shocked than anyone, having fought Eric before. Unless the cameras were lying to her eyes, he was way too fast in comparison to that time back then.

Gradually, Haris picked himself up and glared daggers at Eric with a pained expression. The only looks that were returned were that of boredom. "You're fucking dead!"

Eric only grunted in response.

Haris reached into his pocket and pulled out an interesting weapon.

Inside the school, Butters flinched, going to the nearest person, Stan, and clutching him like he was in danger. Stan didn't mind, knowing the blond was scared shitless.

Eric recognized it as a kunai, an expensive looking one at that. It was probably a gift and the way Haris held it exposed his inexperience. He didn't look up at the armed boy when he spoke, his hair flowing in the wind. "Is that the knife you stabbed Butters with?"

Haris didn't seem to hear the question. "I'm putting a fucking hole in you!" he yelled in rage, running forward and lunging the kunai at Eric.

Time seemed to slow down as Eric ducked below the stab, Haris's arm now above his shoulder. He grabbed the outstretched wrist holding the knife, and, with his other hand, struck his palm up on Haris's elbow.

Haris instantly screamed as his arm was bent the wrong way. He didn't even notice the kunai wasn't in his grasp anymore.

Eric slowly walked past him, twirling the kunai in a soft rhythm by the hole at the end of it. He walked until he was just out of arm's reach of Dell, who looked at him in utter shock.

"I'm a fair person. I'll give you the same three chances."

Dell yelled and ran forward, pulling out a small curved knife known as a karambit.

Eric stopped spinning the kunai and dodged three rapid slashes. This girl was more thoughtful than she seemed, avoiding stretching her arm out in fear of hers being broken like Haris's. Holding his kunai firmly, he knocked her knife out of her grip and into the air. Then, he reeled back a fist and punched using his full strength into her gut, knocking the air out.

She collapsed on the floor, holding her stomach. A few seconds passed until her lunch and iced coffee spewed out of her mouth.

Eric walked over to where she had put her drink and picked it up. He took a sip and gagged. "Disgusting. You drink this shit?" It was the little things that mattered.

She groaned in response.

He tossed the cold brew at her laying form, making her shriek. He then picked up her karambit knife that fell into the dirt. Putting both weapons in his pockets, he walked over to her and locked her hair between his fingers.

She cried out and kicked her feet as Eric dragged her over to Haris, who was also groaning in pain with a bleeding lip while holding his broken arm, tears trailing down his cheeks.

He let go of her. Then, he went over to the slide and sat down on it, watching the two of them writhe in pain with his cheek resting on his knuckles. He wore the nastiest smirk he could muster.

"I'm going…" Dell made a funny sound as she struggled to compose herself. "...to ruin your shit life!"

"Oh really? How are you going to manage that? There's nothing you have on me," Eric replied.

She was about to speak again, but he cut her off.

"There's nothing your parents can do either. And let me give you an FYI, there isn't a thing you can do to me that I haven't already done to myself."

Even through their distressed expressions, they could see there wasn't a hint of lying. The two of them pushed themselves up and glared at Eric. It looked like they were prepared to continue fighting.

Eric just kept looking at them with that nasty, malicious look. His stare was intense, and they could swear there was an insane glint in his eye that was unnerving. It felt as if his piercing gaze was overpowering them and made Eric seem even more significant than he was. He appeared as if he was willing to continue hurting them without remorse.

Slowly, their angered and determined expressions transitioned into fearful ones.

Eric watched as they took a few steps backward in uncertainty before screaming in fear and running off, Haris holding his broken arm. He couldn't contain his laughter as they retreated to the other end of the playground.

His laughter echoed through their minds as they ran. That kid was insane, toying with them while they didn't stand a chance.

With a crazed expression, Eric took the two sharp weapons in his pockets, spun them on his fingers, then whipped them at the sprinting couple.

Both of the knives missed on purpose, passing the two and hitting the brick wall they were heading towards.

Seeing the blades whip past them made them take a quick peek back, but it seemed to be the last thing they wanted to do as they saw Eric barreling toward them.

Dell tried to run but was too late when Eric punched Haris and grabbed the back of her sweater. He yanked her back, causing her to fall backward.

"Tell me which one of you broke Nelly's leg," he said, glaring down at her. "You have five seconds before both of you get it."

"I-it was her!" Haris yelled as he sat up against the brick wall holding his arm. He was probably thinking of climbing over it but couldn't with one broken arm. "Honest!"

Eric raised a leg. "An eye for an eye then."

He stomped down hard on Dell's leg, bending it the wrong way and making her cry while clutching it.

"You're insane!" she yelled through gritted teeth, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Eric shrugged as he put his hands in his pockets. "Eh, I heard that one before. It shouldn't be surprising but I don't expect you to know who Eric Cartman is."

"Fuck you!"

Eric looked away from her and rested his eyes on Haris, who flinched when he did. "What's wrong?" he asked with a smile before putting on a mocking tone. "Aww, you don't like it? That's a shame. Who would've thought?"

Eric took a quick look back at the school. He could see a bunch of silhouettes through the windows but couldn't make anyone out.

"What are you trying to be? Some lame ass hero?" Haris asked as Dell's cries died down. "The moment your back is turned kid, I'll fucking be there."

Eric paused for a moment, looking down at them. "You know, I gave you a bunch of chances. But still, you're shouting threats. You're so fucking clueless it's hilarious. You have no idea how ruined your lives are already."

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"I read a lot about you. And I know things you think I shouldn't," Eric continued, walking over to Haris. "You two are so close it's kinda sweet." He leaned into the other boy's ear. "You could say you're so close—like blood related siblings?"

Kyle widened his eyes in realization. "No…"

The two bullies stared at Eric in shock, unable to let words escape their mouths.

Eric took a few steps away, picking up and inspecting the weapons. "It's funny, really. Here you are trying to prove to everyone that you're better than them while being a couple of degenerate incestuous lovers."

Dell stared at him with her mouth agape. "H-how do you know about that?"

PC Principal and Strong Woman couldn't believe it. "Dude…"

Eric didn't answer her question. "You could say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"W-what?" Haris finally snapped out of his trance.

He smiled. "I also know things about you that you don't ," he said, giving them a dirty grin. "Let's just say your parents are also 'too close.'"

They sat there in silence for a few moments. Eric just knew their heads were trying to wrap around what he said. They could shout that they didn't believe him, but he could tell just by looking at their eyes that it was quite the opposite. After all, if he knew that they were siblings, what disproved his knowledge about their parents?

"Y-you're lying…" Dell whispered, sounding uncertain with her own words.

"Mom and dad are…"

"They didn't tell you, huh? Well, let me just say that both of their last names aren't Woods because of marriage. Hey! Now you know why they support your relationship so much!"

They looked lost in thought, as if their whole life crashed on their brains.

"Don't worry, you'll have a bunch of time on your hands to think about it."

As if on cue, the doors at the back of the school slammed open, and many officers ran into the school playground. They ran straight for the three of them but passed Eric as they grabbed Haris and Dell.

At the forefront was Sergeant Yates. "Haris and Dell Woods, you're under arrest for acts of terrorism and treason against the United States of America."

"What?!" Haris yelled.

"We didn't do anything!" Dell screamed.

"Tell that to the judge."

The two kids screamed as Dell was handcuffed and Haris was pushed to walk. The bullies looked to Eric, who only stood there with concealed weapons in his pockets, giving them a friendly smile.

Dell was forced to hop on one leg while Haris was next to her as they were commanded to head back through the school. Eric followed close behind.

They entered the school, where many astonished kids and teachers crowded around, all with open jaws. There was a path between the crowds as they ducked their heads and went through the cafeteria, down the hallway, and out the front door.

In front of them, a couple of officers were handling an older man. He wore a suit and tie and had gray hair.

"Let me go! I did no such thing!" he yelled as he writhed in handcuffs. The officers said nothing and pushed him into the back of a police car. Due to his yelling, some townsfolk gathered around to see what was happening.

Dell looked shocked. "Dad!"

"Daddy!" Haris yelled.

The two kids were put into a different police cruiser. Haris, who sat on the side facing the school, noticed Eric standing on the sidewalk, giving them an eerie smile. Then, a lightbulb lit inside his head as something finally came to mind.

"I know you…" he said, and Eric didn't reply. "Yeah… Eric Cartman you said. I've heard of you before. Genocide, killing parents, hate crimes, making people commit suicide."

Eric's grin turned into a frown, and at that moment, Haris knew he hit a sweet spot.

Haris smirked at him, then said, "You're just a freak of nature—" His smirk turned into a glare. "—and you'll always be a monster!"

The car's door was shut, and all the cops drove off, leaving Eric on the sidewalk with his mouth open.

He wasn't looking at anything in particular, his mind scrambling for anything to hold on to. He didn't even notice Sergeant Yates giving him a thumbs up as he drove off.

Haris's statement repeated in his head, over and over. It was like a virus was implanted into his brain, and he couldn't stop it.

He looked down, raising his hands. There was blood on them, Haris's blood on his hands, and the sight made his vision blurry and his head dizzy.

He beat them up, broke their bones, and ruined their lives. The worst part was he enjoyed every second of it. It was satisfying to him.

The feeling of everyone's eyes stabbing his back was unbearable. They might have been thankful for him getting rid of those two bullies, but they would agree wholeheartedly.

He was a monster.

His breathing started to quicken as he couldn't control it any longer. Trying to take deep breaths to calm himself only made it worse. His throat tightened and started to burn.

He gripped his fists tight, his breathing wasn't slowing down, and his mind swelled. He needed to go home. He knew what he needed to do.

So he took off, ignoring the Jewish voice calling for him and sprinting straight home. He passed by many concerned people and it only took a few minutes to arrive home. Barging through his front door, he went straight upstairs and into his room.

"You'll always be a monster!"

He needed to remind himself he was wrong. Eric Cartman was always in the wrong.

Digging through under his bed, he pulled out a small brown rectangular box. Opening the cover revealed a roll of toilet paper and a sharp knife.

Cutting was the only way to make it right. He deserved it. It would reiterate his goal of becoming better. He wanted to be someone he could look at in the mirror and smile.

But no. Instead, all of the progress he made was blown into the wind. After all this time, through everything he's accomplished, he's back at rock bottom, enjoying other people's pain like he used to.

He couldn't regress to what he was. Not after everything he's walked through. He didn't want to lose it all.

He removed his jacket, his hands shaking as he struggled with the simple task. Dropping it to the floor without care, he grabbed the knife inside the box, and brought it to his exposed forearm.

A hand grabbed his wrist, and he snapped his head to stare into Kyle's concerned eyes.

They stayed like that for a few seconds before arms wrapped around his waist. He looked to his left to see Kenny hugging him. He didn't know if the gesture was to restrain or comfort him. It was probably a little bit of both.

Another pair of arms came from the other side, and he only guessed it was Stan before he sobbed, apologizing to them.

"S-sorry…"

The knife fell to the carpet floor when he loosened his grip, and Kyle had no need to hold his wrist, so he stepped forward and added to the hug count.

He was frozen in place as if in the middle of a blizzard. A warm blizzard that contained the combination of his three brothers from different mothers. He stood there in that blizzard's embrace, sobbing nearly every second.

"It's going to be alright, Cartman," Kyle said, his voice cracking. "I'm so sorry I asked for your help. Even knowing you're trying so hard to change."

Eric shook his head, but nothing was said.

"Hey, Cartman." It was Stan's voice. He also sounded down. "If it makes you feel any better, it's really cool that you did that for us."

"Yeah," Kenny said. "What you did to those two wasn't because of your selfish personal reasons. You did all of that for us. "

"Thank you so so much, Cartman," Kyle said, holding back a sob. "You're not a monster. A monster wouldn't feel bad about his actions. Or would do something for the sake of his friends. As soon as I told you what was going on, I saw something snap inside of you. That isn't what a monster is. That's only something a best fucking friend would do."

Cartman's sobs continued, but he nodded, burying his head into Kyle's shoulder.

They stayed in his room for a while, sitting against the side of his bed. No one spoke as Eric managed to calm down with his friends. Once they thought he was ready to talk, they asked him just that.

He nodded.

Kyle held up the knife. "Cartman, how long have you been…" he gestured to the sharp object.

"I only did it a couple of times," he answered, rubbing an arm. His voice was coarse. "When I first stopped talking to you guys."

"This stops now. Okay?" Stan said firmly. "If you ever feel like doing this shit again, you call us."

"Or anyone," Kenny said. "Your mom, Heidi, anyone you feel comfortable with."

"You have the money for therapy if you want to do that," Kyle said.

Eric managed to sneak in a sarcastic chuckle. "That shit doesn't work. My mom tried with me years ago."

"But now you've changed. You can let the therapy work."

Eric shrugged and frowned. "Maybe."

"Maybe you could go visit Haris and Dell and maybe try to let them have another chance?" Kyle suggested.

Eric thought about it briefly before getting up and saying, "I just need to check if anyone's eavesdropping."

Once he made a quick trip to his door and peeked out, he went back to the guys and sat down with them. "I trust you guys with my life. Can you keep a secret for me?"

"Of course, dude," Stan said.

Eric continued. "I've been working with the FBI. That's how I got them arrested so easily. An anonymous call would have just had them called in for questioning, it wouldn't have changed anything."

"Woah," Kyle said as the other two had equal reactions. "What do you do?"

The brunette said, "You guys know what I'm capable of. You know, the plans I have half the time, my quick thinking, manipulation and negotiation." He cleared his throat. "Or am I being egotistical?"

Stan shook his head. "Nah, I still remember when you out-negotiated that guy for me when we were saving the baby cows."

Eric nodded, remembering that as well. "Well, they called me in for things like that, to work undercover, and other things. Apparently it was Mr. Garrison's suggestion when he was President."

"Oh." Kyle said with raised brows.

"While I was there I asked for training. I originally just wanted to lose weight, but I ended up learning how to properly fight. At least as well as a ten year old anyway."

"That explains how you were fighting so well," Kenny said.

Kyle nodded. "And how you became so fit."

"Their parents are scumbags who have done dirty shit. Like you said they're protected by the system because their mom's a judge. But after looking through their files and history, putting things together, I figured out a bunch of things."

Kyle remembered Eric being on his phone before encountering the two. He couldn't believe that was what he was doing in such a short period.

"Incest is illegal in Colorado. So their parents are going to get charged and probably lose their jobs. Haris and Dell will probably be separated from each other."

"You honestly did them a favor," Stan said. "What they're doing is wrong."

"It probably made them happy though," Eric said. "And I used that to ruin their lives."

"And now they'll have a new start," Kyle said. "Their dad was allowing them to do whatever they wanted."

"Kind of like my mom."

"Right. But unlike your mom, their dad was a real prick at school. He was a worse enabler than your mom ever was."

"He really was," Kenny nodded.

"Most likely their mom too. Maybe without their parents as their enablers, they'll be able to change for the better."

Eric managed to crack a smile and looked at Kyle. "You really like looking at the bright side, ay Jew?"

Kyle playfully punched him in the arm. "It's working, isn't it?"

Eric chuckled. "Thanks… for following me. Making sure I was okay."

"We're your friends, dude," Stan said. "We're always going to look out for you. And hey, now that you've won the whole school over, there's a lot more than just us three."

"Nobody can replace you guys though."

Kyle rolled his eyes with a smile. "Well, duh."

Suddenly, the bedroom door was knocked.

"Who's that?" Eric asked, and the other boys shrugged.

His question was still answered, however.

"Fellas? Are you in there?"

"Oh."

"You gonna let him in?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah." Eric got up and opened the door. A sheepish Butters jumped back when he did.

"Oh! Hey, Eric."

"Hey, Butters." Eric smiled at the sight of the blond. "Come on in."

He let the boy in and closed the door. As soon as he did, Butters grabbed him and hugged him.

Eric looked at his other three friends awkwardly as they smiled at him. He brought his hands up and accepted it.

"Thanks for stickin' up for me." Butters pulled away. "Those guys were real mean."

"Hey, if there's anyone who's going to pick on you, it's going to be me." Eric said with a smile.

Butters giggled. "Yeah."

Eric then turned serious at Butters's dismissive reaction. "I'm joking, Butters. I'm not going to do that anymore."

But then he remembered something. Butters didn't merely get picked on.

He frowned. "I heard they stabbed you?"

Butters also frowned, lifting his shirt to reveal a nasty scar on his belly.

Eric nearly gasped. He reached over with a hand hesitantly. After no objection from the blond, he gently touched the scar. It felt a little gay, but the concern was overriding that.

"I was in the hospital for a bit," Butters explained in a tone as if it was normal. "I guess I was bothering them too much. I just can't seem to shut my mouth."

"Fuck. That." Eric looked angered. "That doesn't give them the right to do this shit." His look softened, and he sighed. "Hypocritical, right? I mean, shit, I shot Tolkien for Christ's sake."

"I'm sure you could have a talk with him about it," Stan said. "We could set you up if anything. Besides, he's forgiven you by now."

Eric scoffed at that.

Butters pulled down his shirt. He grinned at Eric with that childish look. "But holy moly, Eric. Those moves were neato!" He finished by doing some air punches.

"Neato's an understatement," Kenny said. Nobody remembered, but he tried to stop the two bullies and got killed twice in the process. They were decently tough, and he considered himself a good fighter.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" Butters asked excitedly. Eric didn't want to answer that, but luckily, the blond was too much into praising him to let him. "You could beat up anybody in school."

Eric chuckled. "I'm not gonna do that."

"Well are you at least coming back?" he asked, his excited grin staying. "I kinda miss our little adventures together. Even if they got me grounded most of the time."

Eric hummed sadly in thought. "Wouldn't everyone just be afraid of me? You know, after the shit I pulled?"

"They'll probably be intimidated," Kyle admitted. "But hey, like I said, you did everyone a huge favor. I bet even PC Principal wants to thank you."

"Then… I guess it won't hurt to come back." He shrugged. "I'm dreading it though."

"To think Eric Cartman would be nervous about attention," Stan said with a smile.

Eric chuckled.

Kenny suddenly spoke up. "So, what do ya want to do now, you guys? Because I don't think we're going back to school."

"You guys want to play video games?" Eric asked. "I got that new shooting game everyone's been hyped about."

The other boys smiled and liked the idea. They went downstairs and played video games for hours, then went out for food, courtesy of Eric. They hung out like old times, playing games and having fun for the rest of the day. Just like a great friend group should.

---

Well, this was it. Eric's first day back to school in months.

He didn't take the bus, as if it would delay the inevitable for so long. Instead, he took an Uber to school a little after the bus would have dropped them off.

He stepped out of the Honda Civic, thanking the driver and shutting the door. No one was outside. It was notably colder than usual today, so it wasn't unusual. They must all be inside at their lockers.

Sighing, he stepped forward onto the school grounds. He approached the front door for a few seconds before pushing it open.

When he stepped inside, he saw the usual number of kids that would hang around there. For the first few moments, no one seemed to notice him, but then one random kid pointed him out to his friends, which got the attention of another group, and it spread like wildfire from there.

Kids approached his left and right just for a quick thank you each. And it felt… good. They were all grateful for getting rid of Haris and Dell. Many had bruises, cuts, or even broken bones, and he knew many were from the two bullies.

As he walked through the main lobby and into the hallway, more kids gave thanks with grateful smiles. The school was already so different from yesterday when he was here. It was alive again, and everyone looked ready for another learning day.

As he approached the hallway with their classroom's lockers, he finally saw them, his classmates.

They all smiled at him and welcomed him back, and he was surprised to realize he was glad to be back. He said good morning to all of them before stumbling across Heidi.

She smiled at him, like the rest, but he didn't return the gesture. She was confused for a moment, but then he pointed a finger to her eye.

"How's your eye?"

"Oh." She turned her sight away from him. "It's getting better."

She then smiled. Eric was showing how much he cared about her. It was sweet.

Eric watched as she took a few steps forward and pecked him on the cheek.

He wanted to push her away, to yell at her to find someone else. But for some reason, he didn't. Maybe he was being selfish. Or perhaps he believed that there was a chance he could make things right with her. She'd probably slap him and tell him he had already made things right, but he would never agree.

What he did to her was irredeemable, unacceptable, and unforgivable. Yet, looking at her beautiful eyes, she looked to be thinking the opposite.

Perhaps there was a chance after all.

---

When it happened, It just clicked.

What happened? Well, what didn't happen? He was a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulative, sociopathic asshole.

Or maybe he was just stupid.

No, both.

Now though, he was a changed man.

Or boy, rather.

Everyone was friends with him. Faithful friends who enjoyed his company, who had his back if times got tough, and vice versa. The town also seemed nicer to him. People waved at him across the streets, he was greeted in establishments with bright smiles, and he even got invited to so many family dinners with open arms. His relationship with his mom felt immortal, and his relationship with his girlfriend was strong as well.

He came out as BigB SP, and initially, he thought it would be a considerable change. The few exciting things to happen were his dominance in the school's book club, having one of the most oversized booths at book conventions, and coming across a big fan once in a while. He released a couple more sequel novels in his full legal name, and they were both big hits. Everyone was excited for more to come.

He still did work with the FBI. His three best friends were still the only ones to know about it. Although, he was only limiting himself to the more essential missions where they needed him. He had much less time on his hands with all the new friends he had and school to attend.

Things were still changing, however. That's how life worked.

He was walking into a building, wearing a nice suit and tie. Any minute now, a new movie was about to start filming. His movie based on his book. From here, a new chapter in his life was about to begin.

Maybe there were going to be more obstacles down the road. Eric Cartman would only have to switch lanes to avoid them. And with new passengers in his car, it would be easier than ever.