Elliot kissed his mama's hand and looked at the stars making a wish of his own. He wouldn't tell anyone what he wished for if someone were to ask. It's the same wish he'd been making for years, decades even and it was that one wish he wanted to make happen more than anything else. Whereas he wasn't really superstitious, he wouldn't tell anyone about it just to give it higher chance of coming true.
"What did you wish for?" Bernadette asked like she'd known.
"If I tell you, it won't come true." He grinned at her, but he was sure she knew. She probably had known all along.
Bernadette scoffed. She glanced at their joined hands, one weathered and the other one not so much, but showing effects of additional years more by every passing year.
"I know what you wished for," she said knowingly, just like Elliot had thought.
Elliot smiled, he didn't argue against his mama. Maybe she knew his deepest wish after all, maybe she was just guessing. After all she was his mother.
"When are you gonna ask out that partner of yours? I can't believe she is still single. I can't see her staying single for much longer," she asked out of the blue, or so it seemed.
Elliot chuckled.
"I'm sure Ayanna would be flattered, but I'm definitely not her type," he brushed it off with a smile. He looked at his mother, who was pouting.
"I don't mean Ayanna," Bernie said and shook her head in disbelief. "I am old, but I am not stupid," she added for good measure. She got slightly distracted by a falling star and made a wish – this one for her son. Once the star had vanished from her sights, she turned back to her stubborn son. "I'm talking about Olivia."
Elliot stopped mid chuckle and turned serious all the sudden. He didn't say anything – he wasn't sure what to say.
"Mama, I tried," he admitted, there was no reason to lie to his mama about his dating life now that he was on the wrong side of fifty.
"She didn't turn you down, did she?" Bernadette asked with surprise.
Elliot nodded. He swallowed and looked at his mom with a sad smile. "She said she wasn't ready," he spoke sadly, the memory of holding her, her cheek against his and his lips so damn close to kissing her still clear in his mind like it had happened yesterday. And then he remembered her recoiling and backing away to lean against her cold and impersonal refrigerator instead of falling into his warm and welcoming arms. He'd given anything at that moment to hold her. She'd been like a wounded animal in the forest backing away from a human trying to help for she didn't trust the person not to wound her any further. And it hurt, because for 13 years he was the person she'd come to when she was hurt and his responsibility was – above all – to keep her safe.
"And you've been here waiting for her to be ready?" Bernie disrupted his train of thoughts.
He shrugged his shoulders, then nodded with a sad smile.
Bernie took her hand from his and swatted him in the back of the head.
"You, my boy, are dumber than I thought," she spoke with obvious disappointment.
"What am I supposed to do? She wasn't ready and I'm trying to give her space. I don't wanna overcrowd her – I know she doesn't like it. I mean we are texting more and sometimes we have coffee," he said defensively while rubbing the back of his head more out of gesture than any hurt – his mama's hand had barely caused him any pain.
"That girl has been in love with you since at least the first time I saw her in Long Beach, when she came to see me after Katie was in trouble. When you didn't," she said seriously, even half-accusingly, and ran her hand over her short hair remembering the day she first met the infamous Olivia Benson that she'd heard a lot from Kathy. Bernie had seen the reason behind Kathy's insecurities instantly at the younger woman – she was gorgeous and as far from Kathy as possible. And at first Bernie was sure that Olivia wasn't Elliot's type even if the woman was obviously in love with her son – in love enough to drive to New Jersey to meet her, so she could help Katie – Bernie believed Elliot not to be in love with her. Oh boy, was she proven wrong. She had to admit though– her boy had a good taste.
Elliot looked up at her and furrowed his brow like he didn't know what Bernadette was talking about.
"She came to see me and let me talk to Katie, when she was locked up. Probably cashed in all the favors to get me inside the prison at that godly hour," Bernie said like it had been obvious.
It suddenly made a lot of sense.
"I asked her not to tell you about it," Bernadette added to defend the woman she had become fond of. She was half surprised to see that Olivia had kept her word and Elliot had been oblivious to the events that unraveled on that day.
"I thought she had something to do with it…" Elliot said with realization, adding another reason to the list of why he was in love with Olivia Benson and had been for much longer than he'd like to admit.
"I also showed her a photo of you as a carrot. I thought that might scare her away, but turns out it didn't," she added with lighter tone.
Elliot whined. It was not the way he wanted Olivia to think of him. He'd much rather she had a picture of the strong confident partner, the man he is now, not the boy he was a few lifetimes ago dressed up as a carrot.
"Don't worry, if anything it only made her adore you more," she said like she'd been reading his thoughts.
That relaxed Elliot. He was half-ignoring, half-obsessing over the fact that Olivia had been in love with him all of those years ago – according to his mama anyway. The question remained how did he miss it? He was probably as in love with her back then than he had been for the past few years.
"And I know you have been in love with her too for much longer than you'll ever admit," she continued, only half oblivious to Elliot sitting next to her. "I also know you would have never cheated on Kathy and while her death was tragic, life's too short to spend the rest of it mourning the love you lost and not accepting the love in front of you."
Elliot took a deep breath and took his mama's hand in his. "What do you think I should do?" he asked quietly. He could use some advice on how to approach this thing with Olivia.
"I don't know. You're her partner, you know her better than I do," Bernie said and shrugged her shoulders.
"I was her partner. These days…sometimes it feels like I still know her, other days…" he sighed at the thought of how much things had changed and even though it was painful to admit it, he didn't really know her anymore and he had accepted it. Nevertheless, he was on a journey to change that and hopefully soon enough he would learn all that there is to know about her. "She feels like a stranger to me," Elliot finished with a heavy sigh.
"How did you make her fall for you in the first place?" she asked, not even hiding her curiosity.
Elliot shrugged. He didn't know what he did to have a woman like Olivia fall for him – if his mama was correct and he really wanted her to be – he wouldn't have a slightest clue.
"That's where I would start if I were you. I would show her that partner you were and remind her how good you were together. And I'd do that as soon as possible, it's not like you two have time on your side," Bernie spoke and somehow Elliot realized how right his mama was. Maybe that's what he needed to do. Maybe he just had to keep showing up at her precinct with a cup of coffee for her or some takeout when he knew she was working a hard case and forgot to feed herself. Maybe he could offer to drive her home after days like that or take her to work and Noah to school following mornings.
Maybe he could even offer to watch Noah when she had to work late. He could woo her with his culinary skills and prove to her that he is the man that she's looking for and maybe after all, it could work out.
"That's some good advice, mama," Elliot finally spoke.
"I know. I've lived long enough to know these things. And I've seen you dance around Olivia ever since you got back to New York. Now I finally realize why you packed up your life here and took Kathy and Eli away from here as soon as you retired. I don't blame you, but we both know you weren't really happy in Europe," she spoke.
Elliot didn't argue. His mama was right once again. His happiness was tied to Olivia's presence it seemed. He didn't even feel like himself when she was on the other side of the world from him.
"Have you made any progress with your girl?" Bernie kept asking and continued on the topic of Elliot's love life and Olivia, which were the same.
Elliot furrowed his brows and looked up at the sky again. "Maybe," he whispered. "I tried to kiss her and told her I cared for her," he added. That was a pretty big step to think of it.
"And she slapped you in the face?"
Elliot chuckled. "No, she said she wasn't ready. She also said that she wanted to. Whatever that meant," he said with a shrug.
"She'd scared. I can't blame her."
"Scared of what? Scared of me?" Elliot asked with furrowed brow while he looked for answers from his mama. "I'm only intimidating the perps, I'd never hurt her," he added while lifting up his arm and observing his large muscles.
"She's not scared of your physical strength, my boy. She's scared to love a man, that has loved as deeply before. You were married for almost forty years. And you disappeared from her life for a decade. She's probably terrified to allow you back in, and allow you back into her heart. And into the life of her son," Bernie explained, she was confident she was right even without ever speaking to Olivia about the matter. "I know I would be." She added.
"How do I make her not scared?"
"By showing up. By proving to her that you're not gonna leave and that you're serious. And pray that she has forgiven you. That's all you can do. And hopefully she loves you enough to let you back in," she said sadly.
Elliot sat in silence and glanced at the night sky again. It was beautiful. And while he was truly enjoying having his mama there with him, part of him wished he could share this with Olivia. He wished he could share everything with her.
"I will. I'll do better. Olivia is everything," he said in a whisper, making that promise to himself more than for his mama.
"I know, I haven't seen you act like this complete idiot before. I'm just surprised she hasn't seen how completely and utterly in love you are with her, because you're not fooling anyone around you. And that girl deserves a love that's fulfilling, joyful and all-encompassing," Bernie spoke with fondness for Olivia.
Elliot agreed non-verbally. Olivia deserved everything.
She scooted her chair closer to him, he did the same. She took his hand again and leaned her head against his shoulder peacefully.
"I hope it's not gonna take too long, because I wanna see my son happy before I die."
"I'll try, mama."
Bernadette smiled into the night – his son always seemed to be happier when his old partner was around. She made his boy happy, she was good for him and Bernadette could swear that he was good for her too. And she had seen the way he smiled every time Olivia's name popped up on his phone screen or when she was around. Even Katie had mentioned her dad and Olivia together like their romantic relationship wasn't a question of if, and rather a question of when. And Katie knew more about the partnership years, she'd known Olivia as a younger detective working with her dad.
And now after everything those two could finally be together with the obstacles removed from their path. That's what Bernadette hoped for.
"All I really wanted was to see you happy. I think she'll make you happy. And I think you'll make her happy too," she voiced her opinion.
"Thanks, Mama."
***SVU***
Olivia was about to close the curtains when she saw a lone falling star. She smiled at herself for the silliness of making a wish on a shooting star and expecting it to become reality. Yet, she couldn't help herself, so she rolled her eyes, exhaled and made a wish.
Unbeknownst to her, the wish was the same one two Stablers had made on a different falling star on the other side of New York.
There surely was some saying about three people making the same wish when seeing a different meteor or comet pass by the Earth. All their stories were written billions of years ago, what is visible in the present day is just a remnant. And maybe they can fulfill wishes on the present day. And maybe some of the wishes were written in the stars millions of years ago. And maybe they were always meant to happen. And maybe making a wish on a passing meteor is nothing more than a catalyst for the story to write itself into the present and become what it was always meant to become.