The Golden Girl with a Gun:
A Surprise Encounter
Or Four Brunches and An Assassination Attempt.
Pansy and Ginny both gave Hermione knowing looks when she showed up in her dress at brunch. She gave them both a glare that had Pansy smirking and Ginny choking back laughter.
Draco arrived a few minutes later with a miniature version of himself holding his finger. They were dressed in matching muggle suits. Hermione was sure that Draco's shoes alone cost more than she made in a year.
"Granger, good morning," Draco greeted. "Say hello, Scorpius."
"Hullo, I'm Scowp." The little boy put out his hand to Hermione. His blond hair wasn't slicked back like Draco's had been as a boy, but was just long enough to touch his ears. His eyes were bright blue compared to Draco's quicksilver grey, but that was the only difference that Hermione could detect.
"Nice to meet you, Scorpius." Hermione shook his hand, smiling at the boy. "My name is Hermione.
"Hullo Her-me-knee. This is daddy." Scorpius pointed at Draco. "You want be his fwend? Daddy needs more fwends."
Draco made a sound like he was being strangled. Hermione tried not to laugh, but failed miserably.
Hermione and Draco were both quickly abandoned in favour of Aunt Pansy who promised Scorpius gelato and blueberry pancakes for brunch.
Draco sighed, "He's already had waffles and fruit at home. You'd think I starved him."
Hermione laughed again, not sure when she had laughed so much. "He's probably getting ready to grow."
Draco stood there staring at the available chairs for a bit too long as they were soon joined by Tracey and Daphne and two of the other players from the Harpies with their girlfriends. The other girls crowded around Scorpius, who basked in the attention. He started telling the nonsensical jokes that toddlers were so fond of inventing.
He took the chair next to Hermione and she hid her smile behind her mimosa.
"Granger, I really appreciate your willingness to do a muggle London outing with Scorpius and I. I want him to feel comfortable and I certainly do not feel comfortable."
"There are a lot of nice playgrounds in London, I think that is a good place to start. Scorpius can play with Muggle children in a low stress environment and you can watch how Muggle children typically behave. Scorpius is a little young, though, for the Battersea Adventure Playground which was my favourite as a child."
"But the Princess Diana memorial playground is really nice, as well as the Hyde Park Playground. I mean honestly we have a lot of options. Then I was thinking we could go to a muggle restaurant for tea before coming back to Diagon Alley. I'll make reservations somewhere nice, because I think you'll feel a little more at ease in a more formal setting."
Draco was nodding, glad to see that she had given this so much thought, but he did have one question.
"Granger, what is a playground?"
Hermione explained them in detail without laughing, but she wanted to. Gods, how she wanted to laugh, but he was so earnest. And he was clearly trying.
...
Scorpius loved the slides and the swings. The other children made him a little nervous though and he held onto Draco's hand while he explored the pathways and bridges. Draco felt so needed, he loved the way his son grasped his fingers as though Draco was his safe place. Draco was sure that he had never even touched his father when he'd been a small boy. If anything, the events of the last few months taught him that he did not want to be a father that was anything like Lucius.
Eventually another little boy who also had blond hair came up and asked Scorpius if he wanted to play. He had two small toys in his hands and handed one to Scorpius. They looked like giant lizards. Scorpius looked up at him nervously, but at Draco's reassuring nod, he followed the other boy to a small sandpit and watched carefully until he understood the game.
Draco looked up and saw Granger moving to a bench nearby, she waved at him as though he should join her on the bench.
"You are an exceptional father, Draco."
"Thank you, Granger."
Hermione caught the stares of the other mothers in the playground as they saw Draco sit with her, the hunch of their shoulders in disappointment. Draco was quite a sight. He was clearly the poshest man in the park by far in his five piece muggle suit. Even Scorpius was wearing designer short pants and a top. Hermione had tried not to laugh when she saw the Versace label. She hadn't even known that they made kids clothes.
"Who did all your shopping for muggle clothes?" Hermione asked, curious.
"My mother," Draco replied.
"Ah, that explains it." Hermione nodded, thoughtfully.
"Explains what? Is there something wrong?" Draco looked down at his muggle clothes in confusion.
"Scorpius and you are dressed very formally for a day at the park. Maybe next outing we can get you some more casual clothing so that you both fit in a little better."
Draco nodded watching Scorpius and the other boy make the lizard toys walk around the sand, the other boy made his roar and Scorpius followed suit. His face glowing with excitement as he did so.
"What is it that they are playing Granger?"
"Dinosaurs." Hermione's lips twisted in a smirk.
"What are dinosaurs?" Draco struggled with the last word.
"Well millions of years ago dinosaurs were giant lizards that lived here on the earth. They died out long before there were people but children are often very enamoured of them. Teddy has a whole collection of their figures."
"Are you close with my cousin?" Draco asked, deceptively calmly, despite the tension that invaded his body.
"Very. I'm his godmother."
"Oh. I wasn't aware, and I ought to have been," Draco sighed. "Do you think you could provide an introduction to my aunt? No rush, of course, at a time that is convenient to you."
"Your aunt lives in muggle London," Hermione offered. "It would be easy enough for us to go one afternoon."
Draco nodded. "Mother mentioned it when I told her that you had graciously offered to help me with Scorpius. I deeply appreciate this, you know."
Scorpius and the other boy were still playing very well, making Draco smile.
"He's a very sweet boy," Hermione said.
"Not at all like me," Draco drawled. "You don't have to hold back. I know I was exceptionally difficult as a child."
"You were a bit spoiled," Hermione agreed.
"A bit? Granger, I was a menace." Draco laughed and Hermione couldn't help but smile in response.
She really was enjoying spending time with him, with Draco Malfoy.
Who could have seen this coming?
...
Circe barely let her get in the door before she was asking how her outing went.
"How was your day with your prince?"
"He's not my anything, Circe!" Hermione huffed in annoyance. "He's an old acquaintance from school. I'm just trying to be helpful."
Circe snorted and Hermione fled the room in annoyance, leaving Circe to grin alone in her frame.
...
The second time that Draco came to brunch, he was annoyed to discover that the seats near Granger had already been claimed as he had run late because Scorpius had to argue over every single part of preparing to leave the house.
His shoes had been wrong. His jumper was too itchy. Draco had been ready to pull his hair out before he'd managed to leave the flat. And of course, Scorpius was his adorable polite self the moment that they arrived at the restaurant, abandoning him for his "Aunt Gin" this time who actually convinced him to try three different flavours of juice rather than the milk he always insisted on.
Granger seemed to be drinking far more champagne than she had at the previous brunch, Draco couldn't stop staring at her lips.
Had they always been that pink?
...
The following week, Hermione had lined up three private nursery school tours by pretending to be Draco's executive assistant. They were all obscenely expensive and exclusive. She dropped a few hints as to the size of Draco's wealth without being gauche.
The schools all catered to the elite, so no one blinked at Draco's ridiculously expensive clothes nor Scorpius' name.
Draco's drawled, "It's a family name," got nods and obsequious behaviour from all the Headmistresses.
After the third visit, Draco put Scorpius on his shoulder, conferring with the boy quietly about which school he had liked the best. Draco had assumed, rightly so in Hermione's opinion, that any of those schools would happily accept Scorpius (as well as Draco's money - he'd made comments about philanthropic support to the school at each place that they had visited).
Hermione couldn't help but stare at the absorbed look on Draco's face as he tried to mentally translate Scorpius' toddler speech.
Draco Malfoy really was an exceptional father.
And Hermione was finding that very attractive.
"Scorpius prefers the one with the blue playground and the teacher who was all in pink…Granger, was that St. Mark's or the Montessori school?"
"The Montessori school. That was also the one where they said they offered French lessons. I recall that was something you liked as well."
Draco nodded. "The children seemed pleasant enough."
"I make fwends!" Scorp laughed, clapping. "Best day ever!"
...
Hermione could hear the yelling in her kitchen. She was surprised that whoever it was hadn't cast a privacy charm; at first she couldn't hear what was being said, but then the voices grew louder as the argument went into the outside hall. Hermione put her ear to the door, not because she was nosey, but because…no, because she was nosey.
Draco's voice was angrier than she had ever heard it before, "You were a selfish bastard when I was a boy, so why am I surprised that you are a selfish bastard now? Scorpius is my son and I wont have you belittle or threaten him."
"That child is an abomination. You need to let me rid you of it, and find you a new bride. It clearly was poor Greengrass genetics at fault for this mess."
"Scorpius is not a mess nor an abomination!" Draco roared. "He is a sweet sweet boy who I love. I'm not sure you are familiar with the emotion. Because if you were, you would certainly not offer to rid me of my son! Get out, Father and don't come back. Give Mother my regrets, but Scorpius and I will never be coming to the Manor again and certainly not for dinner tonight." By the end, Draco just sounded sad.
There were slamming doors and no further yelling.
The callous way that Lucius Malfoy had threatened to dispose of his grandson made the hair stand up on her arm.
He meant sending Scorpius to that awful hospital where Astoria had wanted the little boy sent, didn't he?
Even Lucius Malfoy wouldn't murder his own flesh and blood would he?
Would he?
Hermione felt ill. It must have shown on her face.
Circe was looking at her with something like pity when Hermione turned around.
"Royal families never change," the sorceress mumbled to herself after Hermione left the room.
...
"No Scorp this morning," Pansy asked in disappointment when Draco arrived for brunch.
He shook his head. "He wanted to stay home with Mother. She came over and they turned the extra bedroom into a playroom. They are painting a mural together."
"It's hard to imagine Narcissa Malfoy painting a wall," Ginny laughed, pouring him a mimosa.
"She even has old robes on," Draco shared. "Positively shocking, I know."
"Good morning, Draco," Hermione looked at him with a thousand thoughts in her mind, but nothing came out.
"Morning, Granger," Draco took his cloak off and swept his robes back as he sat, the Wizarding restaurant that they had chosen for today, meaning that he was more comfortable. "That's a lovely dress." His eyes ran over the periwinkle silk muggle sundress she had on due to the unseasonably warm weather.
"Thanks Draco. We still on for tea with your aunt on Thursday?" Hermione asked.
"Looking forward to it actually," Draco smiled at her, before turning to answer Pansy's question about Scorpius' new school and when he was going to start.
...
Hermione had been surprised at how excited Andromeda was to have Draco and Scorpius over for tea. She'd already heard about Scorpius being a Squib and was "impressed" that her nephew wasn't giving into the family pressure to disown and disavow him. Hermione had the same feelings. Draco clearly loved his son; if the argument between him and his father was an isolated incident that would be one thing, but every day that Hermione spent time with them she saw the same consistent and devoted Draco Malfoy.
She found herself more taken with him every time.
He'd managed to dress more casually than normal, but Hermione was still sure that the clothes were ridiculously expensive. She met him in the hall in their apartment building and Scorpius talked about his new school non-stop all the way to the apparition point.
His teacher: Miss Lucia, who loved pink.
Hermione got the shivers, thinking of Umbridge.
"She's not at all toad-faced," Draco shared, obviously gathering where her mind had gone. "She's young and very bubbly."
His new best friends: Andres and Mateo, who had two daddies and no mommy. Just like him, because he didn't have a mommy either.
Hermione tried not to cry at that comment.
His class pet: Rhododendron the tarantula.
"At least it isn't an Acromantula," Draco whispered as an aside.
They apparated to the closest point near Andromeda's home in the suburbs of Muggle London. The short walk through the quiet neighbourhood was peaceful, with even Scorpius looking around with interest, refraining from talking for a little while at least.
Hermione came to a white garden garden gate and opened it carefully.
"Hey, Teddy," Hermione smiled at her godson, who was waiting on the steps to the house for them. He completely ignored her and turned all his attention to Draco who had Scorpius by the hand and was following her into the yard.
"We're cousins?" asked the boy with blue hair, hands on his hips.
Draco nodded, understanding the seriousness of this interaction.
"I've never had a cousin before." The boy said.
"Nor I," admitted Draco. "I'm pretty excited about it and so is Scorp. He's your cousin, too. Scorpius, say hello to Teddy. He's your cousin."
"Hullo, I'm Scowp." Scorpius looked at his cousin. "You has blue hair?"
"I do!" Teddy said proudly. "Wanna come see my toys and I can show you a trick?"
"Okay, bye daddy!" Scorpius took Teddy's hand and the two disappeared into the house.
"First Pansy, now Teddy." Draco shook his head, in mock sorrow.
"Don't feel too bad Draco," Hermione consoled, putting a hand on his arm. "I didn't even merit a hello, and I'm his godmother." She realised that she was touching him and blushed, pulling back her hand and missing his own answering blush.
Andromeda opened the door right as Hermione went to knock and smiled widely.
"Hermione! Draco! Welcome to my home." She hugged Hermione tightly then allowed her into the house. Draco also didn't escape unhugged, despite his stiffness. He kissed her on the cheek.
"Thank you for having me over, Aunt Andromeda," Draco pulled a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine out of his pocket that must have an extension charm on it. "Mother sends her regards and would like to send a note, if you are open to correspondence."
"Please inform my baby sister that it would be lovely to hear from her." Andromeda smiled brightly at Draco, whose own smile seemed a little brittle.
As Andromeda disappeared down the hall to put the flowers in water, Hermione turned to him and asked, "Draco are you alright?"
"I feel like I fell through a magical mirror. She's the mirror of Bellatrix." Draco shuddered. "It's uncanny. Granger, pinch me."
"Why would I pinch you?" She laughed, leading the way to the sitting room.
"So I can make sure I'm not dreaming of course." He rolled his eyes at her and then she did pinch him.
Andromeda heard their laughter from the kitchen and had a knowing smile. She thought of laughing like that with Ted, so many years ago. She wondered if they even knew what was happening yet.
Tales as old as time, indeed.
...
The Wizarding restaurant had a lovely patio overlooking a small brook and the sound was very relaxing.
Hermione had been talking so intently with Draco about his new apothecary business while Scorpius napped on his father's lap that she had barely realised when Ginny and Pansy said they had to leave for their pedicure. She was too busy discussing the various sources of the more rare magical ingredients and the laws around them to do more than nod. Draco was incredibly knowledgeable.
So the vase bursting when the bullet hit it was quite the surprise.
Hermione moved quickly and it was for the best because the second bullet hit her chair, the wood cracking from the impact.
The other inhabitants started screaming, apparating out with cracks and running.
Draco attempted to apparate, "There's an anti-apparition ward up." His eyes widened.
A third gunshot went high and hit one of the lanterns hanging in the tree over their heads.
"I fucking hate combat," Hermione snarled, grabbing Draco and Scorpius and pulling them behind a protégo, before flipping the table on its side for additional cover.
The boy gave her a scowl, "Bad words, Her-me-knee."
She cursed internally. Of course Scorpius Malfoy would hold someone to etiquette during a crisis.
"Sorry, Scorp. Any idea why someone might be shooting at us with a muggle gun, Malfoy?"
"None that occur to me at the moment." He pulled Scorpius as close as he could, trying to shield him with his own body. He looked at his own wand laying on the stones outside the protective spell and cursed.
Hermione threw jinxes and hexes at their assailant, who she could hear walking closer.
"We'll surrender!" Hermione cried.
"The hell we will," Draco began, grabbing at her arm.
"Trust me." She hissed, mouthing "please." She counted in her mind. One. Two. Three.
"Stupefy!" She yelled standing up. The would-be assassin fell to the ground, his gun falling to the stones.
Picking up the gun, Hermione walked forward. She pressed the high heel of her shoe into his throat, just a little not enough to kill him. She put her finger on the trigger and pointed it at his head.
Wandlessly she cast the spell, but the words spilled out, "Ennervate."
The assassin jolted to consciousness. His eyes widening with fear as he stared at his own gun and Hermione's ease holding it.
"Who the fuck are you?" Hermione asked, "And why are you trying to kill us?"
"It's just a job, nothing personal!" The man whimpered.
Hermione pressed her shoe into his throat, "Well it's bloody personal to me!"
Crack!
Crack!
Crack!
"Granger!" Theodore Nott yelled. "Can you please drop the gun and tell me what's going on?"
"Hermione!" Potter yelled, running towards her, his wand drawn.
"Oh thank fuck, the cavalry is here." Hermione dropped the gun.
"Her-me-knee!" Scorpius popped up, despite Draco clearly attempting to keep a hold of him. "No more bad words!"
Hermione dissolved into hysterical laughter that turned into tears. Before she knew it Harry's arms were around her, pulling her away from the man on the ground who Theo was restraining.
"Hey, I'm here. You are okay," Harry murmured, stroking her hair.
"We almost weren't Harry, we almost weren't." Hermione wiped at her eyes.
"We?" Harry stepped back and looked around. Draco stood up with Scorpius in his arms from behind the table. "Malfoy? What are you doing here with Hermione?"
"It's Sunday Brunch Potter with Pansy and Ginevra and the rest of the girls which include Granger. Scorpius is very popular with the girls." Draco scowled.
"Where Uncle Teo go?" Scorpius asked, clearly annoyed. "I hear Uncle Teo."
"I think he's dealing with the bad guy, Scorp," Hermione replied, trying to pull herself together.
"Hmmmm," Scorpius made a sceptical sound. "Who dis, Her-me-knee? Dis your fwend?"
Hermione shared a look with Draco. "Yes, this is my friend, Harry Potter."
"Pottah," Scorpius smiled. "You are fwends with Her-me-knee? You be fwends with daddy, too? Daddy needs more fwends."
At Draco's groan, Hermione laughed so hard that her side began to hurt. She couldn't concentrate on anything let alone the men who were staring at her in concern.
"I think she's hysterical," Harry whispered to Draco.
"She did just save the three of us from an assassin," Draco whispered back. "She's terrifying."
"You thought it was hot, didn't you?" Theo interjected, reappearing. He waggled his eyebrow at his best friend.
Draco didn't answer, but held Scorpius tightly and wondered what he was going to do now.