Chapter Two

Station 19's Aid Car and Engine truck came back to the station after finishing up a call and as they were unloading, they began to talk about the call with Miller, who had stayed at the station because he injured his knee on the call before.

"I miss all the fun?" Miller asked, putting away some tools that were out to work on the ladder truck.

"Not much. I delivered a baby. Montgomery's nose almost broke. Warren crash-landed into a pile of dishes. And Hughes got clocked by a crackhead." Maya said, seemingly trying not to laugh.

"Oh. You hit him back, at least?" Miller asked, looking amused at Hughes.

"in a sense that her face hit his fist," Maya said, laughing.

Warren and a couple of others laughed too.

"Looking good,19!' Robert shouted while he was mopping.

"Nobody asked for your approval, probie," Miller said, looking at where Robert was standing.

"What's the problem, Miller?" Robert asked, turning to face Miller.

"You," Miller said, fully facing him.

"Yeah, I gathered that," Robert said, putting the mop back in the bucket.

"You reached a level most black firefighters will never sniff? Let alone see. And what do you do with all that success? Everything they think we do. We have to work twice as hard just to be considered." Miller told Sullivan, taking a step forward.

"Well, that's not exclusive to firefighters." Robert tries to fight.

"You don't give two craps about making it harder for every other firefighter coming up after you!" Miller said, taking another couple of steps toward Sullivan.

"Don't assume what I did or did not give a crap about! Don't you think I'm sorry? You don't think I know what I did?" Robert shouted.

"No, I think you knew exactly what you did. You just did it anyway." Miller said

"I stole drugs because I'm an addict, Miller. You have no idea what it feels like to need a drug. You don't know my pain." Robert walks closer to Dean.

"Everybody here knows the pain of the job. Only one person stole drugs and lied about it. I'm not patting you on the back. I remember you at the academy, all high and mighty, constantly preaching about integrity. You pushed me to be better, and now you're just a lying, drug-stealing thief with a free pass to do it again." Miller said, stepping even closer to Robert.

Andy, having heard enough, steps in. "That's enough, Miller!"

"What? Hearing the truth hurt, Herrera?" Miller pauses, looking from Robert to Andy "You don't know this type of pain. You don't know what it's like to be black. You don't know-"

"I don't know what? I've been married to a black man for a couple of years now, Miller. I've taken on his fear. The fear he often doesn't allow himself to feel." Andy steps closer to Miller. "I bet you didn't know that Robert had a gun pulled on him a few months ago and when I tried to de-escalate the situation the gun got turned on me." Miller didn't say anything so Andy continued "Robert wasn't the focus anymore, the officer turned his gun on me, and you're probably thinking "Well, that's probably the only time it's happened to you" But, no, Miller." Andy rubs her face, noticing that all her friends and staff at the firehouse are gathered around, not sure if she wants to tell this story, she feels Robert wrap an arm around her, a rare showing of affection by her husband during work hours but managing to give her strength to go on. "Miller, soon after my dad died I was just walking around, on one of my days off. I wasn't paying attention and I ended up in King County and although 9.8% of that area is made up of Hispanic people I still got targeted." Robert squeezes her into him

"Andy, you really don't need to tell him this," Robert said, putting a hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears that were falling.

"Can one of you hurry up and explain what's going on? You're kind of leaving us all in suspense" Vic asked, having a slightly worried expression on her face.

Robert pulled away from Andy and looked expectantly at her. He saw Andy nod slightly.

"When Andy walked through the neighbourhood she wasn't looking where she was going and she bumped into a group of guys, white guys," Robert paused, guiding his wife to a chair that was nearby since he could feel her legs starting to get weak by the weight she was starting to put on him "She started to apologize and tried to walk back the way she came but they circled her, she tried to get away from them but they wouldn't let her get by and they called the cops, thinking she was going to commit a crime or something. Police got there, and told them to disperse, but they didn't. They thought Andy was the one that was causing trouble and they told the boys to get away from her and when she didn't put her hands up quick enough and they pulled their guns out" Robert heard his wife exhale loudly and started to rub her back while everyone at the station was just watching them, all listening, some knowing and guessing where this was going.

Instead of Robert continuing, Andy spoke up again, sighing, "I put up my hands when the boys got away from me and when I looked up I saw three guns pointed at me." Andy paused and rubbed her face "I had my hands raised. They asked the boys what had happened, not me, them. The boys told the cops that I wasn't looking where I was going and ran into them and one cop, one out of four didn't have their gun drawn out. He told the rest of the cops to let this go and to just let me go." Andy paused, "The other three cops lowered their guns and walked away back to their cars like nothing had happened but I was frozen on the spot, I couldn't move, I couldn't think straight, I couldn't breathe. When the cops had come there was also an Aid Car so the one cop flagged over the paramedics, and they got me on oxygen and they offered to drive me home but I was still in shock and I hadn't eaten a lot that day so they figured they should get me on fluids and took me to the hospital and while that was happening they called Robert."

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait." Vic put her hands up and walked closer to Andy "This happened in King County?" Andy nodded. "So in an area that has 9.8% Hispanic people, you were still-"

"-Yes. I was. And it was horrible and traumatic and-" Andy couldn't continue so she just put her head in her hands., Robert continued rubbing her back and looked up at the shocked faces of their team.

"The point to telling you this Miller, was because she does know how it feels to have people be so bigoted towards her. You know, she may not be black, she may not have to deal with the exact same problems that we have to, but it isn't like she had it easy growing up."

"Look-" Miller tried.

"No, you look. You can criticize me all you'd like but I know I made mistakes. I know I was a fucking idiot. I know I could've and should've gotten help, but I didn't and now I am living with that and you need to let it go. I am not responsible for how all black males are looked at in this department. I never signed up to be a role model or set the tone, Miller so don't you dare put that on me, okay?" Robert said, trying not to yell for the sake of his wife, knowing she needed him to be there for her because she spent 3 straight days in bed, crying, exhausted, wanting to yell and throw things. "Miller, just leave me alone, okay? Because I already know I fucked up royally. I don't need to be reminded of it every five minutes." Robert turned to look at his wife. He could see that she was slightly calmer now but still looked upset.

"We'll be in the conference room if anyone needs us." Andy stood up and took Robert's hand, and they walked away from the team.

The team looked shocked at what they had just heard. They were shocked by the teary eyes that they saw, they were shocked that Andy let her emotions show so deeply in front of all of them, So the team watched as they walked away.

Ladder 19, Engine 19, Aid Car 19, respond structure fire.

Andy and Robert sighed and made their way back to the barn and into their turnout gear. Andy and Miller were riding in the ladder truck and when they were going into the truck Miller tried to speak to her

Miller "Andy, I-"

"Not now, Miller. Not now." Andy said, closing the rig's door.

Not my best writing, but I tried. I wanted to do something with this scene and I don't think I did well, so I'm sorry if this is a painful read.