ROMAN'S DOG'S POINT OF VIEW
It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining and there's almost no clouds in the sky. It's going to get hot later which is why I'm taking my human to the dog park this early to run off my energy with my friends so we can relax in the shade by the pool at home later. He got plenty of ice cubes in the freezer for both of us. Ice cold water for me and some ice cold lemonade for him. Maybe even a drink if he feels like it. I bet he will feel like it. I know him too well.
"What is it, boy? Did you find something interesting?" He asks.
Yes, it smells like a mixture of beef and oranges. What a weird mix. I don't like oranges. Why spoil a perfectly fine beef with that? I'm going to make sure it smells better when someone else stops by. I lift my leg to get rid of the orange smell.
Roman suddenly smells differently. I can feel the change in him. He always acts and smells like that when he's been grocery shopping. Can it be? I follow his gaze and sees the ginger red hair. That must be Linnie.
I don't know her since I have only heard Roman mention her by name. I haven't met her yet. He often talks about how funny, sweet and charming she is, and how her smile lingers on his mind. He really should ask her out. He needs a wingman. I'm going to be his wingman.
"Come on, boy. We got some important business to take care of," he says.
Damn straight we do. Going to the dog park is important business but first I gotta help my human out. He deserves it. He's a good human. As we get closer to Linnie, I can smell and feel the same in her. She feels the same way about Roman as he does about her. I step in front of her to make sure she can't pass us. I got you, Roman. All you gotta do now is finish the job and ask her out.
"Hi, cutie," she says.
Yes, lady, I am cute. I know it. She bends down to pet me. She's got a magic touch. Roman's going to love having her run her fingers through his hair to pet him. I approve of this woman. Ask her out, Roman. I want to lie between you on the couch and ruin future dates while you both agree I'm too cute while doing so.
"You got a cute dog," she says.
"I know," he answers.
You know? What the fuck are you doing? Why can't you say thank you like a normal person? You know? Of course you know. Everyone knows I'm cute. You can call me cute all you want later but right now you need to get with the program.
"Thank you for letting me pet him," she says.
She stands up and doesn't say anything. This is his moment. All he has to do is open his mouth and ask her out.
"I'll see you at the store," he says.
That's the words that just came out of his mouth. I'll see you at the store. God damn it, my human is stupid. I feel embarrassed on his behalf. She nods in agreement and starts walking again. He turns to see her walk away. He blew his shot. He lost his chance.
"I'll see you at the store? What the fuck is wrong with me?" He asks.
He looks at me for an answer and I hope he can tell by the look on my face how disappointed I am in him. He just let a damn good petter get away. We don't often find humans with that good of a touch. I turn and look towards the dog park. I need to get this mess at a distance. He completely blew it. He's a fucking idiot.