Opening my eyes, I notice that I'm on an airplane, just like the memories that don't belong to me said so, this was indeed the beginning of Pakhitew Island, which still made me uneasy, as my memories, his? These memories showed me of a redhead that would make Izzy blush in embarrassment for being considered a psycho when she's here, of Mike having an evil personality whose name is literally 'Evil/Bad' in Spanish and Portuguese, and that's without talking about how everyone is weird in Pakhitew Island in some way.
That said, it's not like I'm normal, fuck, I might be the most normal of the people here and all it took was a fucking heart attack!
Frankly, I'm hoping I get to stay on the team with normal people, but somehow I really doubt it, because God knows I'm not one of the lucky people, but that aside, I was glad to see that all of my shit was here, because well, I've spent a lot of the fifteen grand that Chris gave to me so that I could live off the grid, like... a little bit over ten thousand?
To be fair, I thought that Cameron would give me a part of his money because that's what he supposedly did last time, but he either forgot about it or gave it to my father and that fucker just decided to keep it.
So, casually as I could, I ended up picking up all of my bags and readying myself for the inevitable, because let me tell you.
I'm ready as a motherfucker, and the only person that was more prepared than I am would be Shawn... Shawn? Not sure if that's the name, of the zombie guy, kinda want him on my team.
Opening my bag to get the grappling hook, I twirled as I could as much as I could without waking the others up, don't want to alarm everyone just yet, so I put it back in the bag.
Thank God I purchased two hiking bags instead of just one, I had too much stuff for just one measly bag, I mean, how else was I supposed to hide the machete and the bow that I got for this?
Sure, memories warn me about robot animals, but I'm going to kill someone if they try to force me to eat berries for the season, I will kill someone... probably Cameron since he did kill me first, I guess? Eh, I can't hold a grudge against a guy who I don't know.
But I will create an alliance to vote off that guy, I swear he's just as bad as B when it comes to creating random stuff out of shovel shit, hell, I can barely believe that I did vote for B when I was rewatching the previous seasons on my phone, which was another gift by Chris.
Which is weird given that Chris is a psycho with no remorse, but what the hell? I won't be the one complaining.
As the others began to move around, likely to wake up, I decided to put the hook back on the bag, if only to not scare the shit out of the others, and just fake a yawn and act like I barely woke up before the others.
Frankly, yawning is easier than it looks, given all the drowsiness that I still had due to being drugged by Mclean, hmm, now that I think about it, I don't think the original Pakhitew Island was drugged, yeah? No, those memories that I possess show a different story, one where the members were on the plane unaware that it would just fucking fall and force everyone into two teams, fuckers with a parachute, and 'holy shit they didn't die without the parachutes'.
"What's going on?" I asked as I got up, rubbing my eyes as I felt a headache building up.
"Lightning, you're not... paralyzed anymore," Sam called out as he pointed at me surprised.
"I mean, yeah? I wasn't in a state any worse than Scott, and he's great now," Somehow.
"By the way, it's not Lightning anymore, it's just Rudolph, or Jackson, just not Lightning," I informed him as he looked sheepish.
"Hehe, I get it, dude, no one wants to be named after their killer," But I didn't die, I think? Not sure I want to go any deeper into the ramifications of what happened that day if I'm being honest.
Putting the bags on my back, I looked around, seeing all of them, looking just like the people in these memories that I have, it felt just right like it was waiting for this moment.
"Just be ready for anything, this show always has its surprises," Like Scarlett being a genius Izzy villain or some shit like that.
"Hey, Rudolph... did you get smarter?" Sam inquired as I scratched my head, not sure of what to say.
"It is well documented that people can completely change after being hit by lightning, mood swings, memory loss, complete shift of personality, cardiac arrest, some even going blind and paraplegic," Scarlett, a red-haired beauty dressed as a librarian said as I scratched the back of my head.
"Well, I did lose my memories, and I did have a cardiac arrest, and cataracts, and I had keraunoparalysis, although the last one is temporary," I pointed out.
"That aside, what's with the bags? Did you bring your house with you, Sha-loser?" Jo asked as I nodded.
"Yeah, after being killed by Cameron," I said, chuckling at how the guy blanched at my words, looking like he might just throw up, I decided to continue telling it.
"My father was disappointed in me, so he kicked me out of my house, effectively making me homeless... Then Chris appeared, gave me some money so that I wouldn't die on the streets and then I decided to use the money to buy a lot of equipment, then Chris appeared, and uh, he drugged me, I guess," I said motioning to the bags on my side.
"ZOMBIE!" Shawn, the brown-haired hobo-looking teen said as he pointed at me, I was barely able to stop a facepalm from happening.
"I'm not even going to waste energy discussing it with you," I decided to say, the much smarter idea.
"I must say, I don't think anyone was expecting the shift, even if there were precedents," Cameron said as I raised an eyebrow.
"That said, you're not going to kill me, right?" Cameron asked as his knees were shaking.
"I have no memories of the fight, to be honest, but I'm gonna vote you off after Scott if that makes you feel better," I pointed at the ginger rat.
"What did I do?" He asked incredulously as I raised an eyebrow.
"Besides sabotaging your own team? Jeez, I wonder what else," Ass, did you really think I, or really anyone, would trust you after watching a rerun of the show?
Damn!
"Hey, leave my stuff from last season on the last season! Besides, you ain't no saint either, Lightning!" Scott shouted back at me.
"Counterpoint, my name is Rudolph, and quite frankly, I don't have any memories of being Lightning, honestly, I couldn't believe what I was seeing when I saw 'Lightning' being so stupid on the show, which I had to rewatch," BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER!
Seeing the other members, I wondered how the teams would be separated, given that supposedly, we were going to be separated over whoever had parachutes and whoever didn't, but my thoughts immediately stopped as I noticed that it was getting colder, a shiver on my spine told me that it was a bad sign, although I wasn't sure of what it was.
Swallowing any doubts that I had, I looked outside, and couldn't help it.
"Shit," I cursed immediately as I saw, the dark sky coupled with the most dangerous type of clouds.
"Cumulus Nimbus," Scarlett said before I did, her eyes wide open as were mine.
That made others look around and notice the clouds.
"That's no Cummulus Nimbus!" Cameron shouted as I went to look on his side, to see the disaster that was going to happen.
"Supercell!" Cameron and Scarlett shouted at the same time as the others, while scared, didn't seem to grasp the situation.
"What's that even supposed to mean?" Amy, given the mole, asked as facepalmed.
"Giant thunderstorm and by the looks of it... Yup, we're going exactly in that direction if Chris doesn't stop the plane," I informed.
"Can the plane take the hit?" Are you kidding me, Zoey?
"Quite frankly, it's already a miracle that we're flying, but given that we're likely to still be in Canada, the supercell might contain hail, thunderstorm, a tornado," Scarlett explained in detail.
"So... we're screwed, gotcha, what can we do then?" Dave summarized it pretty well as Brick was already onto it.
"Safety measures! Everyone grab a parachute! We can't be sure if Chris made sure that all the parachute work, so jump close to each other!" Brick was the one to make sure, I had almost forgotten about the fashion military camper, so there was that.
"Good thinking Brick! I will see what I have to help us out," I said as I quickly went through my bags and grabbed the grappling hook.
"..." Everyone looked at what I had in my hands in suspicion.
"Good thinking, you're overprepared as my Elf Ranger friend level 15, but more athletic," Leonard complimented me, or at least I think it's supposed to be a compliment to a DnD guy, or is he a larper? Probably both.
Figuring out that I might die... again, may I add to it, I tapped Jo's shoulder and prepared myself for when she turned over, her glare almost making a hole in my head.
"Jo, if it makes you feel better, I'm sorry that before I lost my memories, I called you a dude," Your demeanor probably didn't help Lightning's obvious... thinking skills.
"Why the hell are you saying that now?" She asked, shaking herself out of a stupor.
"Just in case one of us dies just like that," I told as I noticed that one of us had yet to jump off to pick up the parachutes.
"Where the hell is Staci at?" I asked as I went to the only possible place beside the bathroom, the pilot's cockpit, where indeed, as I thought, she was there on the controls.
"Staci! Are you seriously pulling an Izzy on us?! What the hell are you even planning on doing right now?" I asked her as she began to press some buttons.
"My great great great grandfather made up the airplanes, so naturally I know how to handle them, I will put it down on the island!" She shouted as I tried to figure out who the hell she was talking about.
"You mean the Wright Brothers, Dumont, Pearse, or Ader?" I asked as she blanked on the question, before shrugging.
"Anyways, good luck Staci, and uh, try to avoid that giant catastrophe in front of us," I said as I ran back to grab my parachute, some had already jumped, but there were many of us.
"Groups of 4 or 5 at most, any more and we can harm those underneath us! GO GO GO!" Brick shouted as they kept jumping, until it was myself, Shawn, Brick, Ella, Amy, and Sammy.
Doing a group of 6 was dangerous, but between that and leaving one or two people by themselves was even more dangerous, so the last group was the biggest one.
I was the first to pull out the parachute, already having an inkling that it wasn't functional, and too light, thankfully I still had my grappling hook with me.
Shawn and Ella didn't have one either, but Sammy, Amy, and Brick had the functional thing.
Calming my nerves, having dealt with stuff more dangerous, even if I don't actually remember doing anything about it, meant that I had the stuff to handle it, so I threw the hook toward the trees, hoping that it would stick to it, as I would have to rescue, at the very least, Shawn and Ella, who were already doing their own thing to try and survive this mess, Ella with her birds and Shawn with his gymnastics, sure, Sky might be the olympian here, but Shawn with his mind overfocused on the zombie apocalypse was quite incredible.
If I'm being frank, the people that have appeared in the show have been a lot more athletic than actual athletes, if the videos I watched to compare them meant anything really.
"Hold onto me!" I shouted as I grabbed the two of them, the wind was now cold, and I could tell that it was snowing, no, much harder, it had to be hail.
"Sha-shit" I murmured to myself as we got into the tree I had shot the grappling hook, it meant that the only thing we needed to do now was to climb it down.
Getting onto the ground was easier than it looked, with me only having to look over Ella as Shawn was more than capable of taking care of himself.
"Everyone! I used a tracking spell to find a cave we could take refuge in! This way!" Leonard said as his clothes were drenched, not that I or anyone really, was any exception.
As we were running, I couldn't help but notice that the thunderstorm only grew angry and that the airplane that Staci was, impressively I might add, controlling, had been struck down by lightning, like the fist of Zeus, the plane simply fell to an uncaring ocean as they dragged me to the cave.
"Where's Staci?" Brick asked, only now realizing that the pathogenic liar wasn't between us.
"Maybe she got eaten by any of the animals here, who cares?" Amy had asked as I threw a wet shoe at her.
"HEY!" She shouted as I rolled my eyes.
"Staci wanted to get the airplane under control, she was doing well in fact, but lightning struck the airplane..." I said, shaking my head to control my nerves.
"Well, we are wet and cold, and I'm assuming that everyone lost their bags, not sure if this was planned by Chris, we will have to stay here until the climate out there gets better," Brick said as his eyes fell onto my bags.
"Rudolph, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly did you bring here? This might sound rude but you're the only one who managed to grab your things before we fell here," Brick mentioned as I shrugged.
"I brought quite the list, but I have some stuff here that no one can complain about," I said as I had to rummage through my bags to get what exactly I meant.
First of all, was a generator, a small one since it's for hiking purposes, but that was fine, it's still a 1500v one.
And then I brought the heater, a small one, but a goodie too.
"I could've done the same with my magic, I just didn't want to, thankfully our good friend the Ranger was ready for it," I'm still not sure if I appreciate Leonard calling me a Ranger or not.
"Well, yeah, I did spend a lot of money on this setup," I said as I pulled out my bed, a king-sized sleeping bag that cost me over three hundred dollars.
After that, I brought out my tent and began to mount it inside the cave, it was quite the big one, being advertised to fit twelve in said tent.
"H-Hey, Rudolph is this like, for real?" I heard someone ask as I kept taking out my stuff from my bag, such as toilet paper, a multi-tool, an electric stove, a mattress, a trauma bag, and a camp cot, frankly, it was quite the list of things, had to be really, given that I was trying to live as off-the-grid as I could.
The only things that I had yet to remove were the machete, which was a black blade made of carbon steel with a blade of thirty-two centimeters, the bundle of axe-maul, and an axe's friend, according to the recommendation, not to mention the bow that I had.
"Aaaaand... that's it, pronto, which means goodnight to you all," I said as I had finished making sure that the lights were working and everything.
"That's it? No way that's it!" Scott shouted at me as I raised an eyebrow at the farm boy.
"Look, Scott, let's be frank, what else do you want me to do? I already brought a trauma bag, canned food which is on that stupid refrigerator, an ENTIRE GENERATOR, and several solar panels to charge it, I even brought an extra bed and a mattress which I know for a fact can hold two people in it, a fishing kit so that we can fish after the climate stops being shitty," I told him as he still had his arms crossed at me.
"So what? You still have a king-sized bed to yourself," Scott acted like he was in the right.
"Scott, you do realize that I bought this bed and therefore, I really couldn't care a bit about what you think, right? Unless you have some wild idea like fighting for my bed, which may I remind you, you got knocked out by one punch of mine last season, Lightning's, whatever, you lose," I told him as he ground his teeth.
"Scott still has a point, that bed can fit two people, so the number of people that could be sleeping could be incremented by one, not to mention that we still haven't decided who will sleep on the other beds," Topher commented as I facepalmed.
"Okay, let's go like this then, since it's my bed, I have the final say on who gets where, so for the mattress that can hold a couple I will ask Dakota and Sam to be in that bed, on the cot, honestly no clue, you guys can just vote or something, my bed will be me and whoever decides to enter my bed, no, wait, I just realized," Right, I just remembered that I had bought a couple of those huge stretchy blankets.
"Here, catch!" I shouted as I threw the four blankets, which frankly, was enough to cover the floor for the rest of them to sleep together.
"Don't have pillows for everyone, but I guess you guys can use your shirts?" Look, is honestly a magical wonder that everyone was able to sleep on something soft as a blanket given the complete fucknugget that is this show, but if someone complains...
"I was wondering if I could sleep on your bed," Scarlett said as I almost choked on my throat, huh?!
"It's simply more comfortable for me if I simply slept on the same bed for the time being," She said as I raised an eyebrow as made sure that there was a big division between my ass and hers.
"Stay on your line," Thankfully I already made sure that I had a pocket knife in case Brainzilla 2.0 over here tries to kill me in my sleep or something, these red-haired chicks are scary as hell!
Honestly! I said that anyone could approach me to get a spot, but I didn't think someone would do that, I should've known that the crazy one would jump at the opportunity!
Calm down Rudolph, she's just a cute librarian that secretly wants to kill everyone on this island... Eh, I could probably take her on a fight now that I think about it.
"By the way, I sleep without my shirt," I told her as a last ditch to see if she would get out of there, but she didn't budge, she simply took off her glasses as I took off my shirt, showing off my pecks, my six-pack and the Lichtenberg scars, the ones I got after being electrocuted by the lightning.
Damn, nothing fazed this chick, if I had any memory of my parents I would've probably called them for help... Hopefully, Dawn can see that she's kinda evil and save me. Oh well.