"Get me the Vice President on the phone NOW" snapped CJ at her secretary Carol
"CJ what the helllll" Josh came hurrying down the hall "did you just tell an entire press room the president is considering adding to the new school bill? When the hell did this happen and did you run it past Leo"
"Why no josh seeing as it's not what I meant I DIDN'T RUN IT PAST LEO" she shouted at him her temper much shorter these days
Josh retreated a little, it wasn't uncommon for her temper to be a little short but positively screaming at him and her staff was much more intense than usual.
"Carol Now means now!" She shouted at the door at the panicked looking secretary
Josh cautiously moved forwards "CJ is everything ok?" He asked carefully
"Josh if you want this fixed then you need to get the hell out" she bit back
Josh decided this one may be best left alone, he needed to see the president anyways
"Line 2" said Carol almost in tears
———-
"Mr president" said josh poking his head in to see the president and First Lady on the couch having some sort of debate
"Josh! I heard about the press situation, what's happening?" He asked
"We'll sir from what I can gather someone slipped a note into CJ's press package with incorrect information"
"And who would do that"
"We're not sure mr president, but whoever it is should be wary of CJ, she more angry than I've ever seen her, I mean she's been angry all week but today? Yikes"
"Hm well she is a force to be reckoned with"
"That she is mr president, Leo is working on finding the leak as we speak"
"Good josh thank you"
"I think I'll go see CJ" said Abbey rising to leave with Josh
"Of course sweet knees" said the president
Abbey heard much chatter on the way to CJ's office, which seemed as though all the staff was giving the office a wide birth
"Good morning Carol" she said brightly
The secretary slunk down slightly
"Is she here?
"Yes ma'am she's inside"
"Thank you Carol"
She knocked, no answer, again, no answer, so she gently she opened the door and slipped in closing it behind her
Standing over her desk taking deep shuddering breaths and shaking
"CJ, what's wrong?" she moved to her side
"Nothing I'm fine" she barely got out
Reaching for her chair to steady herself, she guided herself to her couch and sunk down trying to control her breathing
Abbeys motherly doctor instinct took over as she went over to crouch in front of CJ
"CJ try and take a deep breath for me" she demonstrated
After a-few minutes she put her hand in her chest and leaned back into the sofa
Abbey watched as again she rose and began to pace, when she turned again Abbey saw tears streaking down her face, not something that was custom.
"CJ somethings wrong, would you like to tel me what it is" asked Abbey partly calm and partly stern
CJ sniffed, "I have to apologize to Carol"
"Yes you do, but firstly, I want to talk to you. When was the last time you ate?"
"Breakfast, whatever carol slipped along with my briefing packet, some sort of warp"
"That one?" Asked Abbey pointing to the wrap sitting forgotten on the corner of her desk
"I-oh" CJ sighed
"Mhm" said Abbey watching the younger women carefully, CJ was visible trying very hard to pull herself back togther and wipe away her tears, she seemed almost skilled at pulling herself back together quickly, something Abbey had often noticed throughout Jeds first term
"CJ?" Said Abbey gently trying get her attention so she'd stop pacing, when CJ didn't respond Abbey reached out and took her arm to guide her back to the sofa, CJ jumped and backed away as though she'd been burned and as she didn't so her sleeve rolled up her arm, there were long scars across her wrist, one especially large one was vertical down her forearm
She gasped as she took it in, looking up at CJ as CJ realized what Abbey had just seen
"CJ what have you done?" Asked Abbey looking shocked and teary eyed, as she tried to maintain her maternal calm
"I have to go apologize to Carol" she replied blankly, even Abbey who had raised 3 girls and knew every emotion in the book couldn't read her face now.
She hurried out of the office leaving Abbey alone to contemplate what she'd just seen, not CJ, the doctor side of her brain knew it was what she feared but the mother side of her brain didn't want to believe it, during the campaign and years In the white house CJ had become like another daughter to her and Jed, strong and opinionated she always ran neck in neck with the men, never wanting to appear weak. Thinking back Abbey hated herself for not noticing something earlier, there were times when CJ just went quiet, soemtimes for days on end, she'd never seen CJ wearing short sleeves before even in the summer, she didn't talk about anything ever.
She rose to leave, she had to find CJ, talk to her, help her, anything.
"Carol is CJ here?" Asked Abbey leaving the office
"Briefing room" said Carol who's mood seemed to have improved majorly which must mean CJ had already apologized
"When will she be done" Asked Abbey biting her bottom lip
"Um" said carol shifting slightly uncomfortably in her seat and pretending to check CJ's calendar, Abbey knew this tacit well, somehow CJ had relayed to Carol that she didn't want to see Abbey if at all avoidable "she not going to be free socially until next month" said Carol finally
"Then I'd like to make an appointment" said The First Lady without missing a beat
Carol shifted uneasily again but gave her a noon appointment in 2 days.
—————-
"Carol what did I say" snapped CJ annoyed beyond belief that her secretary hadn't listened, however seeing the tears start to well in her assistants eyes again she back tracked quickly, "it's fine carol I'll sort it out" she waved a relieved looking carol towards the door.
She fell hard onto the chair behind her desk, breathing quickly and trying to stay calm but the very idea of talking about it brought the memories flooding back.
"You're fucking worthless!" Screamed her mother turning on her as she backed into a corner. "Claudia Jean?" Her dementia ridden father watched the scene unfold unable to understand, unable to protect her. "You little attention seeker, pretending I'm a bad parent? Next time finish the fucking job!" She screamed in her daughters face.
———
"Abbey sweet knees your pacing a hole in the floor" chuckled Jed watching his wife pace the space between the couch and the side table across the room.
"Jed I'm worried" she turned back to him and he immediately noticed her eyes had turned glassy and her posture was tender than usual.
"Sweet knees come here" he said gently opening his arms and taking her hand to lead her to the sofa. She hesitated for a second nervous energy still very much present, but she allowed Jed to wrap his arms around her and guide her down onto the couch.
"What's worrying you abbey" he asked gently trying to see through his wife's strong exterior.
"I think CJ is… unwell" she said sinking back into the pillows
"What kind of unwell" he asked concerned, Abbey knew him well enough to know he was much more concerned than he let on, of all his staff, CJ had always been closest to him and had only gotten closer as the years marched on.
"That's the thing Jed, I'm not sure" she gave a sad smile that didn't reach her eyes "but I think she might need us"
" do you need me to speak with her"
"Just keep and eye on her" she said taking a deep breath and leaning into her husbands side "thank you jed"