Chapter 13 - The Weight of Eternity
Steven's emotions build as he reflects on the consequences of his hybrid nature, the knowledge that his loved ones would not share his near-immortality, and the crushing weight of his potentially everlasting existence.
STEVEN
(voice trembling)
What is clear from your fragmented memories, and especially from Dad and his journals is that you knew about the consequences of me being a Human-Gem Hybrid. That I would be practically immortal, and my progeny would not be. You knew the implications of that and understood the heartache it would bring.
Steven pauses, tears streaming down his face.
STEVEN
(sobbing)
This gem feels like a curse. You knew it would happen, and now I must bear the burden. I get to go on, but my children... They're all dead and buried now, and even my youngest grandchild now succumbs to old age. Yet I just keep on going! forced to watch everyone I love wither away and die while I remain unchanged since my hair turned Gray!
Steven recounts his struggle to let go of the past and the emotional toll it takes on him.
STEVEN
(weeping)
I can't stand it! Living in that empty house that me, Dad, and the Gems built for my family, is both comforting and agonizing at the same time. And yet I can't stand not being there either, surrounded by nearly two centuries' worth of memorabilia, and that damned graveyard and the mausoleum, I feel the echoes of my family's presence through it all. Yet, it serves as a constant reminder of my past, my pain, and my inability to move forward. I obsess over all of it, leaving my children's rooms exactly the way they were when they left them. And I bawl my eyes out when I have to throw out something like a damned pot because of the sentimental value it holds. It's maddening!
As Steven grapples with the burden of his immortality, he mourns his inability to save his loved ones.
STEVEN
(anguished)
I can't let the past go! I can't forget! It's as clear as day and I can't forgive myself for not being able to save them from death! I can't resurrect the old dead if they die from old age – it only buys them a few minutes at best. I proved that with Connie, and fusion didn't work for us either; she just kept aging. And I was never there when I could have saved them, like Dad or Mark. They died way before their time. I should have been there!
As Steven's tears continued to flow, he couldn't help but wonder if his mother had truly understood the consequences of her actions. Did she really know what she was doing when she created him? Did she foresee the pain and heartache he would endure as a result of his immortal existence?
After a long time crying, Steven finally comes to a difficult decision. He stands up, his face red and his eyes still filled with tears.
STEVEN
(resolute)
I need to know if it's actually you in there, I've wondered for so long and I need to know!
Steven hesitantly moves his right arm towards the hastily placed crystal on the pillar. The shimmering gem catches his eye, and he feels a mixture of sadness and determination wash over him. As he touches the crystal, his mind is overwhelmed with memories of his pregnant mother from just before his birth. The vision is clearer and more vivid than any he had ever experienced before.