A really short fic cause of a meme I made. Essentially a joke on the Superhero Paradox that wherever team RWBY goes, doom follows. Cause I can't be the only one that notices that doom follows these four. Ever After Bazaar? Jaune's village? Gets wrecked the day they get there. What are the chances that Salem attacks right as they get to Vacuo?
Anyway, besides the KnightLight fic, I suddenly have a plot bunny of Jaune being 'raised' by Watts as his apprentice to help him destroy Atlas. No idea why, maybe I just really like Watts for being such a petty asshole. Would make an interesting enemies-to-lovers story if I pair Jaune with Penny or Weiss. And have Jaune leaning into non-combat intelligence.
Ruby breathed in the warm desert air and smiled. They were back. They'd gone through the insanity of the Ever After and lost hope, but they were finally back. Best of all, they didn't come back to a torrent of destruction and chaos. The message worked. Flying in front of them was the united fleet of the four kingdoms, all of them ready to fight Salem. The sight made all the grief they went through feel worth it.
"Alright, we should head over there," Yang said with a grin, already holding Blake's hand. For some reason, she felt the urge to scream and disapprove about how it just wasn't right before she shook it off. Why would she think that? She was happy for them both.
"They probably think we're dead," Jaune said somewhat glumly. His voice really was a major downgrade now, but she didn't say it out loud.
"It'll be faster if we use my Semblance. Come on."
She held them all close and surged forward. If anyone looked at the horizon, they would've seen a multi-colored blur speeding past the desert dunes coming straight for Shade Academy. Ruby smiled the whole way through, wondering how everyone would react. She looked forward to seeing everyone again. It might've just been a few days for them (and a couple of decades for Jaune...), but she already considered it long overdue.
They arrived at the gate in record time. Ruby stopped a short distance away just as the sentry called out, "Hey, who is that?!" She didn't recognize him, but the fact that we toting a bog-standard Atlas rifle made it clear he wasn't a Huntsman.
"Hold, good sir," Weiss said, already slipping back to her snooty accent, "My name is Weiss Schnee and this is Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long, Blake Belladonna, and my future hus- uh, I mean Jaune Arc. Yes." She coughed. Everyone (except Jaune) just looked at her, "Could you please inform Winter Schnee that we...well, we're alive?"
"Weiss Schnee? Wait, that means you're team RWBY..." Ruby blinked at his reaction. He looked scared, like just got told he had five different terminal illnesses at once, "I...I'll go get her." And then he stumbled off muttering prayers under his breath.
"What was that about?" Blake asked.
"We were presumed dead. I assume he's simply in shock," Weiss replied, "Let's just wait. I'm sure our friends and family will be happy to see us."
They were. The reunion was long and sweet with lots of hugs, tears, and declarations from Uncle Qrow and Winter about how they'd lost all hope and now they'd make sure nothing ever happened to any of them again. Blake's parents were there too and she'd introduced Yang as her new girlfriend in between all the sobbing and promises to be more careful in the future. Off to the side, Jaune was practically being tackled to the ground by Team ORNJ while Nora ugly cried and hugged him hard enough to break his spine.
It would've been super heartwarming and wholesome...except for one thing.
"Why's everyone looking at us like that?" Ruby asked her uncle. The reunion took place in one of Shade's courtyards, which meant that people could see the whole thing. That would've been embarrassing enough, but that was nothing compared to how everyone looked at them.
Huntsmen and Huntresses both looked at them with grim determination while the civilians from the various kingdoms were in various states of fear. The best of them managed to retain some sense of dignity, but the worst were having full-blown panic attacks. Some had even dropped down to their knees in prayer while others bawled and smashed their hands against the ground, screaming about how unfair it all was and that they didn't want to die.
"Yeah...about that." Uncle Qrow coughed and rubbed the back of his head, "So, uh...Salem hasn't attacked us. At all."
"Wait, what?! How?!" Yang shouted.
"No clue. She's got two of the Relics and everyone already knows who she is, so she doesn't have any reason to hide anymore, but for some reason, she didn't do anything even when we started gathering all the fleets. It was weird." Qrow shrugged, "We figured she was just making up some scheme, but then people started talking and, well...people kinda realized that Team RWBY was there when a lot of shit went down."
"Wait, they're blaming us for this?!" Ruby looked at the crowd. A mother carrying her child broke down in tears and cried about how the end was coming, "How could they think that?! We were trying to stop Salem!"
"Hey, I don't believe it, and neither do any of us who know you, but you know how people get." Uncle Qrow shrugged again, "It's just...you attended Beacon then it fell. You went to Mistral, and Haven Academy nearly got destroyed. Blake went to Menagerie and her parents almost got assassinated. Then you went to Atlas and...well, we don't gotta talk about that shitshow."
"None of that is our fault!" Weiss cried out indignantly, glaring at the watching crowd. Some were writing their last wills and testaments.
"Yeah! How about blaming the fucking bad guys instead of the people trying to stop them?" Yang added.
"Again, you're speaking to the choir, firecracker. People just think up some weird shit." Qrow rolled his eyes, "They think the reason Salem hasn't attacked is cause you four weren't here and now that you're back she's suddenly gonna drop a whole horde on us. Stupid."
Back in her evil lair of evilness, Cinder sat awkwardly at the evil table and looked around. With Hazel, Neo, and Watts dead, and the goody-goodies somehow not caring that Emerald helped her commit genocide, the entire place was barren. Mercury mostly brooded by himself while Tyrian was off killing people in Salem's name or other such nonsense to try and get a headpat.
Which left just her and her mistress to sit at the comically wide table, something they'd been doing for months. After the fall of Atlas and taking two of the Relics (not to mention the death of team RWBY and Jaune Arc), Cinder thought that they would push the momentum and go after Shade while everyone was still panicked and confused. No sense in wasting time, after all.
Instead, Salem had told them (well, mostly her) to wait. Cinder had assumed that she was just giving those poor fools time to rile themselves up with fear, but she continued even when the people calmed and the other kingdoms listen to that fool Ruby's cries to rally together. Even as more and more people and ships came, her mistress had forbidden them from making a move against the rising coalition.
"Er, mistress...should we be doing something?" Cinder asked carefully. She'd tried semi-regularly to coax her queen into continuing their plans. Mercury didn't care one way or another and Tyrian was too crazed to have an objective thought.
"Not just yet."
"My lady, forgive me for asking, but...what are we waiting for?" She winced at the slight narrowing of eyes she received in response, "We have two of the relics and know where the third is. Waiting longer will just give our enemies more of a chance to get stronger." And she was growing impatient at having only one Maiden power. Winter Schnee was right there and the more time passed the more she could learn how to use her new abilities.
"Let them wait, Cinder. I have my reasons."
"But-"
The stupidly large door slammed open and Tyrian rushed inside with his trademark manic smile, "Goddess, I have news!" He knelt beside her chair like a psychotic puppy, "Team RWBY and the blonde knight have returned! They're in Shade!"
"Are you certain?" Salem seemed to buzz with excitement.
"Yes, goddess! I saw them myself!"
"Good." Salem stood and patted Tyrian's head just once. The man looked like he was climaxing at the touch, "Come, Cinder. It's time."
They were still in the middle of their reunion when a giant Seer suddenly flew overhead.
"ATTENTION VACUO! I HAVE JUST FOUND OUT THAT TEAM RWBY IS SOMEHOW ALIVE, AND I'VE DECIDED THAT MEANS ALL YOUR LIVES ARE NOW FORFEIT!"
Both the Huntsmen and the civilians looked at Team RWBY with a mixture of fear, blame, and grim determination. Ruby could only say one thing.
"Gods damn it!"
Poor team RWBY. Wherever they go, doom follows. It's not their fault they're the heroes and the conflicts thus have to happen around them. Anyway, that's it. Not sure whether I'll update Student Counselor Jaune next or go for the KnightLight fic.