Reassurance

After being released from the hospital, Lois and Clark returned home, and he told her about what he found in the alternate world. She seemed curious about her doppelganger, and wasn't really surprised to learn that she was engaged to the other Ollie. If Clark Luthor was a crazy murderer, then Lois-2 would have surely stayed with Oliver.

Before dinner, Clark said he'd make some errands, and have a talk with Tess about the Luthor name, and the clone that escaped, Alexander. Lois was glad that he finally told her everything he knew, no matter if it concerned her or not. He was as open as never.

But while she waited alone in the house, sitting on the couch, watching TV, some thoughts plagued her mind. If Earth-2 Lois chose Oliver because of Clark Luthor's personality, then what would have happened if things were the other way around? Would have Clark stayed with Lana? And then she realized. That was a theme they had avoided since they got together. During the Smallville High reunion, Lois had felt miserable the couple of hours Clark disappeared for a time travel thing, and was chastised by Punch Bowl Maddie concerning Lana and Chloe. Like if she was the moth for him, and Lana was the flame. It had been months since that episode, and so far things were going great with Clark, but this experience with an alternate reality shaked the ground for her. What if Lana never left? Why did she get away? Lois hadn't wanted to think about that, but she knew it was a matter to discuss with Clark sooner or later.

Days passed, and Lois tried to live her life with Clark as normal as possible. And though she wanted to bring the subject on the table, seemingly there was never a good time for it. Or they were too busy at the Daily Planet, or either he had some emergency to save people. And during dinner, or nights, they either talked about other things, like the VRA, and then, they jumped off straight to sex. Sometimes, he seemed so happy, that she couldn't afford to bring down his mood. Bad timing, she thought.

Then, came saturday. Clark had reservations for them at one of the fanciest restaurants of Metropolis. He seemed excited about something, and she guessed what he could be thinking about. But there was no way she'd accept, if she didn't spill her doubts. She needed to prevent it.

Clark's idea was simple. Dinner on saturday night, a nocturnal flight afterwards, and propose Lois at the rooftop of the Daily Planet under the stars. He was wearing his best sport coat, while she had a nice shirt jacket given the cold weather outside.

That, until she asked a certain question while they waited for their orders.

Lately she had been quieter than usual, not loud, which wasn't like her at all. Something was troubling her, and he thought he knew the answer. But it was not what he thought.

After seeing her uncomfortable, he felt the need to ask.

"Lois, is something wrong? Today you seem… upset"

"I know… It's just…" she struggled for a while. "I've been keeping this for a while, a long while, but I can't take it anymore... I need to know" Lois began to say, sounding nervous.

Clark's concerns grew. "What is it?"

"I don't mean to upset you... But, what happened between you and Lana? How did it end?" Lois finally blurted the question.

He sighed, in surprise, and looked around at the other customers. "Lois, I don't think this is the time for..."

"No, look... Almost two years ago, when I came back, Chloe said that she was gone, and you were moping because it was over for good... Whatever happened, I never asked, and never really wanted to know... But now..." Lois said, almost erratically.

"Now..." he mumbled.

"You have been letting me in lately, into everything, and it's like we're finally driving on the honest-relationship road... But, there's this street we've been avoiding… And I've been wondering… What if one day she returns? What if she appears again, and I..." Lois stopped herself, taking a breath. "I don't want to feel the way I did after Chloe's wedding... I just can't..." she admitted, raising her hands to her temples, rubbing them.

Right then, the waitress arrived with their orders, and left quickly by sensing the awkwardness between the couple.

"She's not coming back... Ever. I swear" Clark assured.

"Why wouldn't she? She returned that time..." Lois replied, without touching her plate. Seeing no answer, she continued. "How am I supposed to feel? What if I'm just the second in line, the one you stay with just because she's out of the picture? I saw how much you ached for her..."

"That's not it... You and her are completely different... You..." Clark began to say, before she interrupted him.

"If things have been different... If she hadn't left... Would we even be together?" Lois asked, bluntly.

Clark opened his mouth to tell something, but nothing came out. This wasn't an easy question, or maybe this wasn't the right place or the right time. Sometimes he had thought about it, but the answer wasn't so clear. He needed time to think.

Lois read his expression, and felt something breaking inside. She stared at the salad on her plate. "Of course not... I'm not hungry anymore..." she stood up, and walked out of the restaurant, holding back the tears.

Clark didn't know what to do, as he watched her leave, saddened. He knew had to comfort her, reassure her, but the question was how.

He had hoped this issue would never be thrown between them again, since she always respected it. At the Homecoming party in Smallville, she never asked about Lana, and all seemed right when they danced. But looks like it never really went away. It had been lingering somewhere, deep down, and both had pretended it wasn't there. Until now.

He took a pair of bites of his steak, but soon realized he wasn't hungry either. He paid the bill, apologized to the waitress, and left. Maybe he wasn't ready to ask yet. The ring would have to remain hidden in his pocket. He needed to figure things out.

Lois returned home early, in her car, wondering if Clark was already there. A part of her didn't want to face him, but another one wished he was there.

After crossing the main door, she headed to the couch, and threw herself there. The house seemed quiet, and apparently, there was nobody else around.

"Clark?"

No answer, no noise, nothing at all. Only the wind cracking against the window, and the crickets singing outside.

Lois went for some blankets, and then snuggled on the couch, warm. She couldn't sleep on their bed, nor his room. It would just remind her of his absence.

Soon, she got lost in thoughts and the fear overcame her. Maybe Clark went to look for Lana. Maybe she nailed the question, and he remembered whom he loved most. Maybe he'd leave her again. The rational Lois fought against these crazy ideas, until she fell asleep. Next day she'd get the answer.

Sometime in the morning, she woke up quietly. If it wasn't Sunday, she'd berate herself for going late to work. Before she could raise herself to sit, she saw Clark waiting on the chair across the couch.

He seemed relieved, as if he had thrown a weight off his shoulders.

"You weren't here last night… Where'd you go?" Lois asked, trying to hide her biggest fears.

"The Fortress..." Clark said.

Lois studied his expression, realized he wasn't lying, and sighed, in relief. "You needed to be alone then..."

"I remembered some things... All the reasons why my relationship with Lana would have never worked... And how I'd always find a way back to you" Clark admitted.

"Really?" she asked, getting curious.

Clark smiled. "There are still some things you don't know... Do you remember that time, three years ago, when I went to Minnesota with Kara?"

Despite feeling a little groggily, the question attracted her interest. She thought about it for a second before answering. "Yeah... You had promised to fix the TV satellite, but it passed like a month before you actually did it... I really missed my Daily Show back then"

"Well... I was actually gone for like a month... Jor-El had trapped me inside the Fortress for disobeying him" Clark revealed.

"But I saw you a couple of times... You were in Smallville..." Lois began to say.

"That wasn't me... He was a phantom" Clark interrupted.

Lois then thought about it. "A phantom? From that crazy prison world where we found your cousin?"

Clark nodded. "He had copied my DNA, and got all my memories... He pretended to be me, and lived with Lana in this same house for a month... And she hadn't realized..."

Lois was startled. How could someone impersonate Clark without no one knowing? That was impossible. It's ok she didn't realize, after all she was dealing with Grant's break up back then. She barely had interacted with Clark given her poor state. But Chloe? And Lana?

"How did no one know?" Lois asked.

"Chloe figured out something was wrong, but not soon enough... And Lana... She fell in love with him. With that version of me, who was more open, more easy to talk to, more charming, I guess..." he sighed. "The thing is, we were having troubles back then, and he became the Clark she wanted... Only that I wasn't him..."

Lois didn't know what to say. The first thing she thought was how she realized almost immediately when the Clark from another dimension showed up with her. She knew when he was him, and not an imposter. But still, that other time, she had fallen for it, and never questioned either. Maybe she was jealous of Lana already. What did that say about her?

"I didn't know he wasn't you either... How am I any different then? Maybe I'd have fallen for him too..." Lois said, with the same sad tone as last night. She didn't feel special.

"So, it didn't look weird to you how long I took to repair your TV..." Clark pondered.

"Yeah... But I wasn't in the mood to push. You... or him... had other things to worry about" Lois replied.

"Ok... But I'm sure that if the phantom had spent more time with you, you'd have known he wasn't me" Clark replied, full of confidence.

Lois seemed surprised. "How?"

"Because you see right through me in a way no one else can… Straight to my heart, to my soul. You can always tell when I'm lying, and with just a look… It's enough for you" he said, thinking about how she recognized him when he returned from the other world. " You want to know how you and Lana are different. Even before she left, the first time, there was a darkness growing in her heart... Something I didn't want to see... All her time with Lex, changed her... And I pushed her to him, with my lies... She became obsessed with taking him down, no matter if she had to steal, hurt people, or kill... For some reason, though I loved her I didn't really trust her..." Clark looked away for a second. The wind was blowing fiercely around the farm. He turned to look at her, who was still paying attention.

"Oh... Do you mean by that time she acted like an amazonian girl just to uncover Lex's dirt?" Lois asked.

Clark nodded. "Still, it was much more than that... Did you know that she was the one who kept Lionel as a hostage in a greenhouse for almost five weeks?"

Lois raised her eyebrows, shocked.

"She said that she did it to protect me, because he had threatened to kill me if she didn't marry Lex..." Clark continued.

"Wow..." Lois said. All she could think was, that despite everything, she probably wouldn't go to the extremes that way. She knew what illegal meant, surely, but she had never crossed the moral line for a story. Much less for Clark. She knew he wouldn't want that.

"At some point, we grew apart from each other... There was no way back. She didn't feel good enough for me either..." Clark admitted. "But you... With you I never had those problems... I never worried about you turning into the dark side... You're purest, in heart and soul... You're all I need" he gently took her hand.

She felt touched, comforted even by hearing this. He had never opened up to her about his relationship with Lana. She used to think 'She's the one that got away', but maybe it wasn't like that. Still, she needed to know more.

"What about trust? When did she learn about your secret? Did you tell her or she found out on her own?"

Clark took a breath, and was relieved while seeing her expression. She didn't look upset or hopeless anymore. "Hard question, Miss Lane... Can I pass?"

"I'm sorry Mr Kent, but the people need to know the truth..." Lois played along, with a playful smile. By now, she knew he'd never leave her. And since they were in the game, her curiosity couldn't stop.

"Alright. She found out the day of the wedding with Lex" Clark blurted. "In the morning, she locked Chloe in the wine cellar, and saw when I opened the steel gate like if it was a common door"

"Pretty thoughtful... I never considered doing something like that" Lois said.

"And that's what I love about you... Even when you were suspicious, you never involved someone else's life, not even Chloe's... I understand why Lana did it, I refused to tell her so many times, that I made her lose sight of right and wrong..." Clark's face darkened, by remembering the reason why he didn't tell Lana sooner.

Lois noticed this. "Clark..."

He then gazed back at her, still shaken.

"What is it? Is there something else?"

Clark nodded reluctantly. "I actually told my secret to Lana the day my father won the election for senator..."

Lois was stupefied, and gasped. "I thought you said..."

He interrupted. "That day only happened for me..."

Lois stared blankly at him, confused.

"Five years ago, I gave up my powers to have a normal life here, with Lana, and everyone else... I ran away from my destiny, from the tasks Jor-El had entrusted me, the training at the Fortress... I was mortal, and had no secrets to hide... But one day, I was shot after trying to protect Chloe... The day of the nuclear missile incident"

"I remember..." Lois muttered, with a sad look. She hadn't been present that day, but saw it on the news. Chloe had updated her later, and she was utterly relieved when learned that both were fine.

"I died... I really died... But Jor-El saved me because of my destiny... And in exchange for my life, to maintain the balance, someone else had to die, someone close to me" Clark sighed. He was already trying to remain firm, and not to cry.

"Clark..."

"The day of the election, I told my secret to Lana, and asked her to marry me... She said yes, and loved me despite everything..." Lois held back the lump in her throat. "The problem was that she had gotten closer to Lex, given their research about the spaceship that landed in Smallville. I told her because I was running out of time, I felt I had no choice, otherwise she'd leave me... And when she met Lex, he realized she knew... He chased after her, and there was a car accident... I arrived too late, and she died in my arms" Clark said, and looked down. He knew it was hard, but Lois deserved to know the truth. There couldn't be secrets between them.

Lois was shocked, and could not even utter a word to comfort Clark, who seemed as shaken as ever. She knew that in reality, Lana was alive, and was Jonathan who actually died the day of the election. That was the fact that tore him apart.

"I was devastated, and begged Jor-El to spare her... She was too young... And I couldn't..." he stopped himself, before continuing. "He allowed me to live again that day, with the very same condition... Someone else had to die. And I took it... And you know who was next on the line?"

"Clark, I know, your father..." Lois began to say.

He shook his head. "It was you... I realized right in time, something was wrong in the celebration at the Talon, and I rescued you from an electrical short at your apartment..."

"I thought... That was a minor accident" Lois said, struggling to believe it. She always downplayed that little incident in her mind.

"No Lois... That was serious. You were already someone important to me back then..." she flustered. "And... You know what happened next" Clark didn't want to say it.

Lois reached his hand from the couch, and squeezed it, aware he was hurting.

"Do you blame yourself?"

"I did... For a long time I did. But the thing is... I wasn't letting go of the past... Even the mistakes I made with Lana. I thought I was doing the right thing by protecting you from my secret, when actually all I was doing was missing our future... So, to answer your question, all said... Yes. Even if Lana had stayed, I'd have chosen you..." Clark said, looking straight into her eyes.

He wanted her to see the truth on his face.

"I believe you..." Lois muttered, smiling softly.

Clark sighed. "Oh, and I doubt she's ever coming back, since she had a suit full of kryptonite"

"What?!" Lois suddenly asked, totally startled by the revelation.

Clark stood up, lightly. "When she left, she went for a super suit made by Luthorcorp... Lex set a bomb full of kryptonite on Metropolis, and made us choose. The suit absorbed all of it, and the cost was for me to never be able to be near her again"

Lois stared at him, in shock. He had said things like if it was a long distant memory, that didn't hurt anymore.

"But that was... It must have been..." Lois began to consider.

Then, Clark placed both hands on her shoulders. "It's ok Lois... Back then, it hurt. Really. But I never asked Lana to put on some super suit to be closer to me... I never asked her to fall for Lex and his projects... I'm at peace with the past... I'm happy, with you"

Lois felt him holding her tight as she leaned her head on his shoulder. He smelled of snow. Clear sign he had been in the Fortress for hours.

She finally felt relieved. Like if there was nothing else between them. No more secrets. No more lies. No more jealousy over old flames. Now she knew all the things she needed to know about him, and his past.

They stayed like that, embracing each other, for a while, until her stomach gurgled.

"I think I need to eat something..." she said, after pulling away.

"You didn't get anything last night?" Clark frowned, in concern.

She didn't answer, and instead went to the kitchen.

'I guess I can't blame her' he thought. He followed her, and saw her opening the fridge. Then, he got an idea.

In a blur, he disappeared, and Lois turned around when she felt the door open. Already used to this, she went back to prepare coffee and grab toast and butter. Shortly after, she heard the Blur returning home.

He was standing with a bag full of doughnuts and churros.

She saw he was already taking a bite.

Lois smirked, and grabbed the bag anxiously.

"I was nearly craving for this..." Lois said.

"I felt like I needed to make it up to you, for last night..." Clark admitted. He knew that it was her who brought up the issue, but if he hadn't kept her in the dark about Lana, she would have never felt like she did.

"Oh... This is just the beginning..." she threatened, teasingly.

Clark smiled. She was just bluffing.

"Alright... What do you say if we have a beach day on the west coast?" he offered.

Lois smirked. "Ok Smallville, I like where this is going... But what about..."

"The Blur can also check on the biggest cities around, and get away from the spotlight in Metropolis..." Clark said.

"Sounds perfect..." she smiled, amused. This was the beginning of something great.

AN: I came up with this fic, since I felt that in Smallville, Clark and Lois never actually discussed the Lana matter, nor in seasons 8, 9 or 10. She needed the reassurance. The episode Requiem gave the feeling that Clark and Lana were only apart because of the kryptonite suit. And that's not it. All their past troubles, especially those from season 7, cannot be ignored. There were so many situations that made them estranged. And with Lois, it's simply different. The truth is that Clark and Lois belong together. It was meant to be.

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Jerry Siegel and Joe Schuster. The series was developed by Alfred Gough and Miles Millar.