I think it goes without saying that the main character will be an imperfect narrator. They aren't omniscient. The MC won't always be correct, and life's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. This is gonna be dark. Anyway! Enjoy!
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My World's All A Game; Chapter One: Slap In The Face.
Trigger Warning: Self Harm
——
I never before had a real drive to do much in life, content to float along in my late teen years until I was basically required to do something, but until then, I was content to just cruise on. I did a lot of things I wanted to in that time, mostly of the joy-seeking kind. Such as playing games, reading, writing a bit. Maybe some dating. But I didn't do much other than squander away in my own pursuit of happiness.
I didn't do much. I didn't research anything I didn't have to for a school for a project or homework. I didn't study. I didn't watch the news to keep up to date with the world. I was, again, content to do my own thing with only a few people I acquainted with.
Oh, on the topic of being uncaring to life, I'm pretty self centered and arrogant in my own mind!
I know that physically I'm nothing interesting, pretty overweight but not obscenely so. Not very tall, maybe a little under average, but taller than my parents, so I got by.
Academically? I was an average student, got along with my teachers but my "peers" never received any attention from me unless they found interest in the things I enjoyed.
Intellectually? I like to think I'm a bit over average. Sometimes I like to think I could be somebody of decent import based off of my intelligence alone, but I never had the drive to do that.
However, regardless of my lack of drive, I was always incredibly arrogant about the fact that I was conscious and alive. So very arrogant. I liked to think that people only mattered because I deigned to be in their general vicinity. I liked to think my world was all about me. Kinda like Gumball in that one show where the show literally revolves around him. I thought that when I died, I would go on to another life and continue my own story. The massive arrogance that came with knowing that I was conscious and able to live and interact with my world.
That arrogance has waxed and waned over the years. Getting higher or lower based on what had happened recently in my life. Got bad grade on a test? I don't give a shit, everything works out for me anyway! Died in a game? I don't care! I'm better, I just wasn't trying, duh. Terrible break up? Toss up between a holier-than-thou arrogance of "how dare you think you could be on my level as to break my heart!" And the heart shattering defeat of being broken up with, arrogance completely forgotten, and the only thing in my heart is sadness and wishes and hope for a return.
Ironically, such a thing happened recently. The heart wrenching sadness and defeat, that is. Nothing of note would make my arrogance wane other than a breakup with a person that mattered to me.
It was only in that time where I felt truly depressed and suicidal. Truly thinking on whether the idea of dying and going on is better than playing around in my own world.
It only happened a few days ago, so I haven't moved past it yet, but I'm trying, the arrogance will come back strong and I'll laugh and jeer at the idea of dying over somebody that didn't want to matter, simply because they chose to leave.
However, I have something else to deal with. Namely, a box in front of my face. A box that's between me and my ceiling. Laying down and looking up at the ceiling will do that.
And this is the part where unmatched giddiness builds up in the depths of my heart.
'I've been chosen?'
Wow! Never before have I felt so mocked! 'Extreme Heartache'? Is that a joke? Mocking me that my life isn't actually so bad and that I'm a little bitch for crying over a girl?
'If I'm getting mocked, then go fuck yaself!'
That was a very long explanation for something that could've been stopped at the first paragraph... WAIT WHAT!?
'Hold up. Magically inclined? What the fuck? Fractures in my fucking soul!? How- how does- what?'
What. The. Fuck. I thought I'd become a gamer or something, now I'm hearing that I'm all sorts of fucked up because of some damned girl? Really? This life of mine is fucked!
'Now wait a moment. What kind of magical system is it? I would figure Harry Potter type magical BS, but I haven't done any 'Accidental Magic' that signify's a magical of that story. Is it like Skyrim? Oooo, I would be super down for a pool of magic in me that I can grow and use to spam lightening! Maybe some of that stupid-ass Fate magic shit with circuits and shit? Maybe something else?'
Well goddamn. That's... fucking AWESOME! Magic is such a fascinating concept to me! Rewriting reality with my mind and some energy that only a few people can harness? Fuck. Yes. Plus I get to have my arrogance in my ability for magic, so more bark with some actual bite behind it, great!
'The only problem... I'm fucking lazy. Super lazy. I'm going through my life being overturned because of a break up. And now I have magic that just fractured my soul? What the hell? I was just moments ago considering suicide for fucks sake. How do I focus on all of this shit? I'm only 18. Almost 19 I guess but still.'
My frown immediately turned into a manic smile. Gamer? That's what I signed up for when I first saw that screen in the first place!
'I certainly do! Why do you ask?'
As if I don't know already.
Well then. This went from super cool to a little bit creepy, and still super cool. The change between chill to a little bit scary happened quick. But I'll take free power any day of the week! Not like I've got anything else to do.
'Consider me on board! Time to become a murder hobo and prance around like a pretty princess!'
'Well, I like me some magic! I'll just have to figure out how it works then it'll be a grand time... for me. Not so much for my... test dummies.'
Uh, alright then. Trial by fire it is, then!
'Stats.'
—
General
Name: Nathaniel L, Morris.
Age: 18 years, 10 months.
Corruption: ?
Body: .3
Magic: 1%
Soul: .3
Talent: 1.0
Level: 1
HP: 20/20 Regen: .25%min
MP: 20/20 Regen: .25%min
Attributes
Physical
Power: .1
Vitality: .1
Speed: .1
Metaphysical
Mind: .1
Mental: .1
Spirit: .1
Luck: ?
—
Huh. Well that's definitely not what I expected! The decimal points in the attributes, corruption, body, magic, talent, and soul? What the hell is that? Also, health and mana being diminutively low. Considering everything, I should probably expect the unexpected at this point, eh?
'So. Do I get a rundown? It's safe to say I'm a little out of my depth here!'
I'll admit. I'm a bit peeved at the number of attributes I need to worry about! I truly hope that I don't have any hard caps on my growth. Soft caps are fine. Hard caps are not. But if all I need to do it get those numbers up and make breakthroughs as I go? I'm down for it, I suppose.
Also. Luck having such a bullshit explanation is annoying, but understandable. I'll live with it.
I hope.
'What's next?'
Well golly gee Mr. System. Just tell a toddler to not jump into the deep end, eh? I suppose I get to do my own damn thing then... So it's time to get a quick recap to internalize this info dump.
First and foremost, my soul is 'fractured'. Doesn't matter that it happened for a dumb reason. It can't be good. So I need to figure out what having a fractured soul means ASAP. I would assume that the magical governments have some kind of magical procedure to help me, but I can't be sure. I'll need to do some of my own research when the opportunity reveals itself.
Second, I have fucking magic. I've had magic. And the system didn't give me much of a specific understanding of how magic works. I'll need to get a handle on that as soon as possible. Maybe the same place I learn about my soul fracture will also help me learn about the magical system. If I don't figure it out myself that is.
Third, I'm now a Gamer. The system it uses is a bit odd and new to me. A decimal in attribute? What does .1 power mean for me? I remember being average in terms of my physical strength, but how does .1 translate that? Surely some more nuance to it?
And fourth, I need some goddamn food.
Chuckling to myself, I stretch, my legs sending signals to my brain that I just ran yesterday and they're sore, which I ignore, and swing my legs off my bed, and stand up in one probably not very fluid motion.
Taking in a deep intake of air, I stretch my arms, and yawn loudly.
Immediately, I be-line for the kitchen, taking my time meandering through my room and through my house until I get to the kitchen. Idly throwing leftover pizza into the microwave and petting my abundant number of feline friends, I continue to ponder.
A long term goal would be some kind of immortality. Stem cell research, staying healthy, making my stats so fuck-off high that I won't die... Maybe some kind of lichdom? Could be interesting.
'Actually. Wait a moment. The Harry Potter series has hocruxes, which are basically lich phylacteries, but you can have multiple. That's what Moldy-Shorts did. That has some merit, but I don't want to murder innocent people without reason... I don't want to think about that.'
Before I can think about anything else, the microwave dings. Startled, I blink away any blurriness and grab my pizza, falling back to my room in short order.
I close the door and sit down on my bed, beginning to chew my pizza, staring at my tv screen, blankly.
Where was I? Oh right, well, another thing I should note is that the System seems very hands-off in terms of making me do things. Maybe it doesn't want to communicate? I feel like if I were a system that is hinging its survival off of a simple human —magic disregarded— I would want to be more active in the direction the being would take to make sure we would both survive. Regardless, the System is enigmatic, and I doubt I'll get a decisive answer from it. It would be best to do what makes sense.
And finally. Most importantly. I need to stop being lazy. I have a Gamer system. I have magic. This life of mine has been boring and lazy, with two overpowered ways to become powerful in my grasp, it wouldn't be fair to me to be lazy. I'll be lazy when I'm untouchable. Until then? I need to become strong.
Finishing my pizza, I stand back up from my bed, heart hardened and mind set.
I'm going to figure out this gamer system proper-like. I'm going to make sure I know what I'm working with. With that being said!
'Stats.'
—
General
Name: Nathaniel L, Morris.
Age: 18 years, 10 months.
Corruption: ?
Body: .3
Magic: 1%
Soul: .3
Talent: 1.0
Level: 1
HP: 20/20 Regen: .25%min
MP: 20/20 Regen: .25%min
Attributes
Physical
Power: .1
Vitality: .1
Speed: .1
Metaphysical
Mind: .1
Mental: .1
Spirit: .1
Luck: ?
—
Alright. To start, I'm gonna test each attribute one by one.
For Power, I'm going to see how much I can lift. For Vitality, how much HP it take when I stab myself in the hand. For Speed: how fast I can run and how well I can do that one knife challenge game, and for Mental, I'll try increasingly more difficult mental math.
Spirit will be figured out when I finally do some magical stuff. Sooner or later, I hope.
'Well, now I need to find something to lift to test my strength!' I look around my room with a glance. 'Gaming chair? Nah, rocking chair? Maybe, it's pretty heavy the last I remember. My bed? Too heavy to lift. Piano? Ha! Nope. I won't touch my gaming set up either... guess it's the rocking chair!'
Standing in front of the rocking chair, I feel it out, looking for the right place to pick it up. Arm rests? Not bad, probably have to do that. I could use the framing of the back but I don't want to break it. I could also lift it up from the bottom... nah, I'll use the arm rests.
Grabbing both arm rests, I squat a little to get a good range of motion and good stance, and liiiiiiift.
Grunting, I lift it with all my might, the chair slow~ly rising, before I drop it. I let out my held breath and groan at the same time.
It should have been easier than that! Did I get nerfed? Bastard system fucked me! How am I supposed to get levels if I can't even lift a decently light rocking chair?
Oh. Wait. I could probably do some push-ups and shit. Actually no. I weigh more than that rocking chair... I don't think I'll be able to do push-ups! Fuck! Alright. Good thing I figured this out now. So I need to find something that I can lift so I can use it to work out and increase my Power attribute while I do other stuff!
'So what next...? Ah yes, vitality, time to cut myself up for the grind!' I chuckle quietly, rubbing my face.
I'm gonna go insane doing this type of shit for power, but it can't be helped. To the kitchen!
Arriving in the kitchen, I immediately go for a knife. Kitchen knives are only really dangerous if you're actually trying to do something with them, sure you could accidentally stab or slice yourself, but that's really only if you're putting some muscle into it.
I place the tip of the knife right above my hand, the tip only an inch away from my hand, when a thought occurs to me. I could just cut my arm up! I don't need to risk permanently damaging my hand for this! Damn good thing I figure that out before I did something irreparable to myself.
With the knife now poised to cut myself "to get results" as the emo's would say, a feeling of dread hits me.
The type of dread before you jump off a bridge, or have a gun to your head that you put there. The little niggling feeling of doubt in your mind and like a ten kilogram ball of lead is in your stomach.
I don't know why it was happening, but I knew intellectually this wouldn't kill me. I'm just a little bitch when it comes to pain.
Fuck it, cowabunga it is!
I play the edge against my forearm, and push down and pull up my arm simultaneously.
-5HP.
Bleeding (30 Minutes) Applied. -1HP per Minute.
Pain.
'Ow fuck, ow fuck, ow fuck. I should NOT have done that! Holy shit!' My eyes widened in horror when I see my arm. I can't see anything but blood. The line the knife made is just gushing blood. On top of that, I lose not only five HP, but I'm bleeding for thirty minutes, and I'll lose one HP per minute. I only have twenty HP, and I lost six already.
Uh, how much time is that? Fuck this nerf sucks, I feel incredibly dumb right now.
Whatever, doesn't matter, I need to fix this. I'm bleeding a damn fountain, and I need to fix it.
First, clean it.
Shuffling over to the sink, I turn it on. Watching as water starts to flow, I stick my blood-caked arm under it. The blood washes away in nary a moment, but now I need something to staunch the flow of blood. This is too much, and I'm pretty sure twenty-eight is more than...
I pause.
Thirteen, so I need to get this under control.
I do an about face, and head for the closet between the kitchen and living room. I throw it open, and grab a towel. Immediately I throw it over my already bloody arm.
A Basic bandage has been applied to a wound. Bleeding time reduced by 50%. Fourteen minutes remain.
Shitty-shitty fuck-fuck! This is bad! I still don't have enough HP to survive this. Dammit. What now?
Before I could answer myself, I get incredibly light headed. I stumble, and before I can stop myself, hit my head on a door frame.
Out like a light.
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Well! Here I am again! New story! I'm hyped for this to be honest. This has been ponging around in my head —like that DVD going from side to side— for awhile. And I finally found the will to write again.
Hopefully I'll be writing a little more often than I normally would, but life's picking up, so no promises!
Have a good rest of your day, and until next time!