Inside the Pokémon Center's back rooms, Ash's blue jacket hung loosely over a chair. By a propped up bedside, Nurse Joy pressed the cool metallic bell of a stethoscope to a sleeping Ash's chest, propping up his bundled up black t-shirt. Listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat through the earpieces.
Around her, Dawn, Serena, Clemont, and Bonnie were gathered at varying distances; Dawn and Serena hanging closest, with Clemont intentionally hanging back to give Nurse Joy space, while Bonnie sat backwards on a desk chair, hanging her arms over the seat. Pikachu, meanwhile, was huddled up to his resting trainer's leg, giving Nurse Joy her room, while Empoleon stood on the opposite side of the bed. No matter their proximity, a look of concern was etched on each of their faces.
"...His heart rate has dropped to a normal rhythm for someone in somnolence," she reported.
When he saw the clueless looks around him, Clemont filled in. "It means someone who's asleep."
"Thank you," Nurse Joy replied. "He seems to be alright. I think you all can relax."
Sighs of relief could be heard from everyone present; ones that had surely been held in, now, for minutes at a time.
"Thank goodness…" Serena huffed, sounding exhausted.
"What a relief," Dawn said. The worried turn of her brow started to fade away, a soft smile returning to her features. Her own worries subsided and scattered in just that moment. Her hand lingered over his. "Talk about a scare."
"I should mention again, though," Nurse Joy frowned. She withdrew the instrument, and courteously pulled the trainer's shirt back down to decency, and subsequently pulled the bedsheets up to cover his torso. Characteristically, his arms hung loosely without a care.
"When you brought him to me, he seemed to be in a state of adrenaline. His heart was moving at the pace of a Pokémon in the midst of battle!" Her lips were pulled into a frown. Ordinarily kind, reassuring blue eyes carrying the sort of seriousness that she wanted to convey to Ash's friends. "That's something I've never seen or even heard before, in humans."
"The same as a Pokémon in battle…" Clemont mused, cupping his chin with his index finger. He was seemingly off in his own world, for a moment, in a state of quiet contemplation. That was… curious. It might be worth investigating.
"I saw him making movements with Greninja," Dawn supplied, "when he was calling his attacks! They were just like his… but then again, that's not unusual for Ash to begin with."
"Ash seemed tired after every other time Greninja changed like that!" Bonnie said. "It's like he's battling with Greninja!"
"I… apologize, all of you," Nurse Joy said, hugging a clipboard close to her chest that she'd just been scribbling information on. "But I'm unsure whether I can even believe what I'm being told here, at face value. If I recall, you said that he clutched his abdomen when Greninja took a hit!?"
"He did!" Serena blurted out, frowning. "I could see it from the bench, beside the battlefield… He choked and stumbled, without being touched. It looked as if he felt Greninja's pain!" What a strange, strange ability… was this the sort of trial Olympia spoke of? A bond so close that you feel your Pokémon's hardships, too!? "I thought I'd seen him react that way, in Terminus Cave… But I wasn't quite sure if it was my imagination." This time, it was impossible to ignore.
"You're sure you didn't see any signs of injury?" Clemont checked.
Nurse Joy shook her head. "Despite the strangeness of the situation, I did check his chest, as you claimed. There was no bruising whatsoever… I would swallow this more quickly if Greninja was a Psychic-type, perhaps, but there are no records of that species having that sort of capacity for tele-empathy!" Realizing she was getting loud in her fretting, the coral-haired professional took a moment to compose herself. "...Though what I did notice in my brief examination was that Ash has an upsetting amount of settled scar tissue."
Even asleep, covered up fairly well, one didn't have to look hard at Ash to see the bands of dark olive, bordering on pink, that ran jagged along each of his triceps. Even less so, the ribbon of peach scarred skin up the left side of his jaw, towards his cheek.
"Yeah! I've noticed that before," Bonnie claimed. "Whenever we'd go swimming!"
"He's mentioned that they come from old battles," Clemont supplied.
"That's right," Serena added, frowning. At any other time, she'd be pink in the face to even discuss Ash's distinguished features. They'd made her feel a pang of worry and sympathy pain in the past, but there was always something rugged about them. In this moment, though, she could only feel shame for thinking such in the first place. Each one had its own story, and she could speak for one. "He did tell me once that the burn trailing down his right shoulder to his shoulder blade came from a fierce battle with a Moltres."
"A Moltres!?" Bonnie exclaimed. "Like the one at Mt. Molteau!?"
"I've never heard this story before!" Clemont exclaimed. Just what sort of secrets was Ash holding onto…!?
"...A Moltres." Nurse Joy said, monotonically. Little did she know, she was the second Nurse Joy to be totally done with Ash's nonsense upon hearing such a tale; between this and the seemingly magic amphibian. "...I feel concern for Ash, but as a trainer, he's to be treated as an independent adult. I can't lecture him like a child… So I'm going to leave him to rest," she said, scribbling away the last of the necessary information onto her form. Turning to leave the room. "Please, notify me if anything else goes amiss."
"You've got it, Nurse Joy," Dawn added, after a relatively long silence.
"Thank you," Serena said curtly. Their eyes turned back to the slumbering, messy-headed young man who, thankfully, snoozed soundly. His mouth hung open in the same dorkish way it always had. Occasionally, he snored.
A brief silence passed, apart from the gentle clack of Nurse Joy's shoes, diverting her down the hallway, presumably to the main lobby. Bonnie broke it with a whine. "I wonder why he never told us about that."
"He'd always divert the subject," Clemont said, frowning. "Almost as if he didn't want to worry us."
Serena was silent, looking to Clemont, and then averting her eyes. She guiltily held onto the secret Ash confided in her that, yes, Clemont was completely correct. He wasn't fond of worrying others with his problems, or scaring them with fantastic or dramatic stories… No, that was something everyone learned simply by being within ten feet of him for days at a time. For the briefest of moments, she felt special for being told before anyone else. Then, she scolded herself. Priorities.
"Well, I can tell you," Dawn offered, as if to completely stomp on the tiny victory Serena had just held. "That slash on his right side was apparently from a Weavile, who wanted to run away from a battle with him. His arms? He upset a protective Mama Ursaring." Her deep blue hues drifted to his triceps.
'You don't have to sound so trite about it,' Serena bitterly thought. As if such serious injuries were commonplace and unimportant. She winced at her own criticism, but still held onto it. 'Everyone's talking about this so… clinically.' She thought of today. Of every other time she's seen him get injured, or come close to it, and shrug it off and keep up his smile. 'Like it's something out of a biology textbook, and not their precious friend lying unconscious. Tattered from one danger after the next!'
"Hey! What about the scar on his face?" Bonnie asked, pointing at Ash's visage.
Although it went unnoticed by Serena in her carefully guarded thoughts, Dawn did lose some of the ordinary, jubilant luster in her blue hues. Far more subdued than her usual self. "...He doesn't like to talk about that one," she answered. Her silence afterward said plenty; she had no intention of filling in the blanks. There was something to that story that only she, and perhaps Pikachu and Empoleon knew. "...I take it this has never happened with Greninja, before?" She quickly changed the subject.
"It hasn't." Clemont shook his head. "He'd usually express being tired after his brief transformation, but nothing like this. Though, I suppose he'd only lost using it once… and Greninja fainted to their opponent rather quickly."
That was enough to make Dawn's jaw drop. "I can only imagine what kind of opponent could've done that…!"
That comment made Serena grip roughly at the hem of her skirt. Blush pink fabric crunching and bunching up under her fingertips. 'Of all the callous observations…!'
"Ash is amazing," Bonnie cooed, smiling fondly. "Even after all those hits, he still kept fighting!"
"...Yeah." Dawn, to Serena's confusion and outrage, looked fondly upon her boyfriend. Their friend. Her inspiration. She couldn't lie and tell herself that her flaring temper didn't correlate to Dawn gently, and affectionately running a hand through his frayed black tresses. She couldn't, in that moment, scold herself for that breach of right and wrong. And, after the next few words, she couldn't contain herself any longer.
"Fighting on stubbornly like that is just like him!"
That was the final straw. She shouted, her voice shrill. Kind eyes reflecting hardened cerulean. "How can you just sit there and act like nothing is wrong!?"
The exclamation sucked all the air out of the room. Everyone present was silent. The rocking of Bonnie's chair creaked until she became conscious of it, and settled down to a halt. Every single (conscious) pair of eyes turned to Serena. Unlike last night, she didn't care. She wasn't going to apologize, or make excuses. The chance to bottle her feelings had long since passed.
Dawn, with Serena's attention trained entirely on her, blinked cluelessly. Looking entirely puzzled. "What… do you mean?"
"How do you really feel about the fact that you knocked Ash out; that your Pokémon did this to him!?" Serena gripped the red velvet of her coat until her knuckles whitened. She knew as she was saying this that it wasn't fair, and that it was irrational. But at this point, she couldn't stop herself. Her voice had gone hoarse.
"Pol!" Empoleon squawked, frowning. Raising a wing as he was ready to protest. But Dawn's hand pacified him, and he reluctantly shut up.
"I just… don't get it." Dawn frowned, running a hand through her hair. She didn't look quite guilty, but maybe a touch hurt. Or perhaps frustrated that, for a moment, she was just as confused as Serena had been. "Ash wanted me to go all-out and not hold back. I'd expect him to do the same with me, if I was in his shoes."
It was, admittedly, a rather strange answer. One that left Bonnie and Clemont perhaps looking just as confused.
"I… But…! That's not…! You can't…!" Serena stuttered out half-hearted protests. She felt the corners of her eyes beginning to sting.
Serena's anger had boiled over, and now it was reduced to fizzling, like excess liquid and carbonation, over the rim of an overfilled pot. Not exploding to touch anyone, but feebly taking its leave. Her fury left her, and she could only feel utterly confused. She collapsed to her knees, and her face hit the side of Ash's cot, getting just a bit of give from the firm mattress. Her face was buried in her arms.
She didn't understand. What Dawn was saying; what in the world hers and Ash's relationship was; why she was driftwood, being pulled about by a self-determined current far beyond her understanding. Tears started to spill freely, as she whimpered. "This isn't how I imagined romance is supposed to be…!"
A pitiful scene, disassembling at its very foundations for everyone but Ash to see. And Dawn was left, for the first time, to see the fundamental change she'd brought about by entering their group. She wasn't sure why Serena was having a breakdown. What prompted her to cry, and scream, and vent her frustrations. There was nothing wrong with any of those things; feeling was feeling. But the pain you could hear in the honey blonde's voice wasn't some petty gripe. It made Dawn concerned.
Hesitantly, she crouched down on her knees to put a comforting hand on Serena's shoulder. She wasn't the most nurturing person; she'd acknowledged that on her own. Caring for other people, or even a baby Cyndaquil didn't come second-nature.
But, she has seen Ash cry and break down. Seen him when he needed someone. She rubbed gentle circles on Serena's back. "Serena." She started. Gently, but bluntly. "That is our romance… Maybe not the 'knocking out' part," Dawn quickly corrected, "but coming at each other with our best."
Momentarily, her mind drifted back on their many battles. Both alongside, and against each other. Tag battles, fending off villains, daily training… One that she didn't forget, to this day, was her battle with Ash at Lake Valor; one he'd initiated so that her idol, Wallace, could see her in action. To this day, the sentiment made her smile. "Battles are part of what brings us together. Ash would never want me to hold back on him, and I know that. Besides… I know Ash; he's made of tough stuff! He can handle the punishment he just got, and then some!"
That… unfortunately made so much sense, Serena thought. Her virulent rage had died out, but in her mind, she was still grasping at straws. Someone who views battles in that way… It only made sense that Ash would feel that strongly for her. Maybe that was always the sort of person he'd go for, and she had no chance. Maybe that was true… but maybe she still understood something Dawn didn't.
"Ash may be strong," she prefaced, still muffled by her arms. He did always have a habit of getting into danger and clawing his way out. "But he's only human. He has a habit of hiding his troubles so he won't worry his friends!" She sobbed, finally lifting her head. "You, of anyone, should know that!"
The accusation, for Dawn's part, left her a little perplexed. She hated not understanding things. Other people. She hated the intricacies of double meanings and hidden emotions. It was all so confusing and stupid. She decided she'd had enough, and surely, so had the young woman beside her. She reached over, and lifted Serena's chin so that she'd meet her eyes. The blonde looked startled, but that didn't stop Dawn.
"Serena," she started, expression serious. "Of course I know that. I know Ash's habits very well… believe it or not. I've seen him at his very worst," she'd say, this time, whispering. His most bitter, self-loathing moments were printed in her memories, and would probably never be forgotten. When that gung-ho confidence of his didn't even exist. But they did contrast with the successful - if not unconscious - person he was, today. "The stuff Ash holds onto is more… complex! Being afraid to fail others… Not being up to snuff. That's when you have to read between the lines."
"Piiika." Pikachu drawled out, finally, reminding the girls that he was even still here. He was still nestled into Ash's side, sharing his warmth. But he had said his piece, nodding solemnly with his beady eyes turned on Serena. Apparently, thinking back on unspoken, darker times.
And Dawn reached over to pet Pikachu, gently stroking his back. She could see it, now; with Ash, they'd both made it through trauma that Serena didn't know.
It was a scene that robbed Serena of all words. She choked on her silence, and the tears started to pour from her eyes freely again. Not clinging to her eyelids in anger; free with the raw truth that she was coming towards. Dawn really does love Ash. She pulled away from Dawn's hand, and backed up onto her feet with a bit more clumsiness than she was used to. "...Excuse me." She bowed her head, and ran out the door. Down the hallway. As far away as possible.
"Serena!" Clemont called out, lamely raising his hand in protest.
"Serenaaa!" Bonnie, on the other hand, ran after her.
"Pipika!"
Dawn sat by Ash's side, watching the scene in complete confusion. Blinking. "What… just happened?"
Clemont exhaled heavily. This scene was a troubling one, and he wasn't sure how he felt being left alone with the one new member of the group who, frankly, had sewed this chaos, whether she meant to or hadn't. "I'm afraid to acknowledge the writing on the wall, but…"
"But…?" Dawn urged him to finish.
"...I believe that Serena needs some time alone."
Clemont could only wonder what was going through the Coordinator's head, as gears were likely turning behind those bewildered, frustrated eyes of hers. He didn't have to wonder for long.
"Clemont, could you watch Ash for me?"
"W-what!?" He sputtered. "But that's the opposite of what I just…!"
"Whatever it is, something's wrong. Serena's been acting weird, and I'm worried." Dawn explained, getting up on her feet. "Empoleon, you stay and watch him, too."
"Pol!" Empoleon agreed dutifully, as his trainer ran out the door.
Clemont sighed, hanging his head. "I suppose it can't be helped…" Frowning, he let his eyes trail to his unconscious friend. 'If only Ash was up… He would know what to do, here.'
Loud sobs echoed through the woods, nearby. Startled Fletchling and Fletchinder scattered to the air in their fright, while several concerned Scatterbug crept from tree branches in their curiosity. No wild Pokémon knew the cause for a human young woman running into the scenic wilderness, a short distance away from the Pokémon Center. Nor did they know the source of her pain.
But she was left in peace to cry.
Perhaps that moment of peace was what she needed. Her forehead leaned against a tree, and her pink fedora had rolled off into a colorful pile of autumn leaves. She clutched at the rigid tree bark, even if it hurt her fingertips, and let her tears drop freely, into foliage that would absorb it and never speak of it again. Even if wild Pokémon chattered in the background, that was okay. They would tell no tales of how she'd already broken her own promise to herself.
What was that about what she'd said to herself; that she shouldn't cry and take from others. From Ash, or Dawn, or anyone. But was it really taking if she allowed her breath to hitch now, instead of later? They didn't deserve the burning she felt in her lungs, right now, or her surely puffy eyes.
It was okay if she just felt. She was mourning the hole in her heart, now, that she'd soon start filling. Looking Ash in the eye would be difficult. The coming rest of their adventure would hurt, for the missed opportunity she'd never even had. But she would return to them with a smile, and with time, that smile would reflect her feelings. She'd heal.
Loud sobs had quieted into a quiet trembling of her shoulders. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her wrist. If only she'd had a certain handkerchief on hand, that she'd guarded for so many years…
She'd heal, even if this really didn't feel fair.
"Serena!" Bonnie had shouted, and the frantic ruffle of leaves could be heard, approaching ever closer. "Serena…" She'd stopped just short of Serena, frowning up at her. Wide, pale blue eyes glassing over with frustration and concern. "What's with you!?"
"...Bonnie." Serena swallowed heavily, and wiped away at her eyes until it irritated her. They had to be dry, then. She turned to the small girl, putting on a false smile. "It's nothing. I just needed a minute-"
"Stop lying, already!" Bonnie fumed, stomping her foot. Her cheek was puffed all the way out, in the way only a small child would be so honest about her discontent. "How could you let her just come in there and do that!?" She reached for Serena's hand, and gripped it with both of hers, jostling it. "We were such a perfect little group! Everything was fine until she barged in! You can't just give up on him, that easily!"
"...Oh, Bonnie." Serena crouched down. With glassy eyes, her smile was bittersweet. A kid her age shouldn't have to carry Serena's own burden. "You know I'll never give up until it's over. But… It is over." Try as she may, her lips couldn't keep their upward curve. "Dawn clearly loves Ash, in her own way, and they have a bond that I don't fully know. And I've been trespassing that."
"You're the one who's been here, the whole time!" Bonnie argued passionately, tears welling up. As if the younger lemon sibling was a projection of her own more selfish impulses. "You have a bond with him, too!"
"...I do. I do have my bond with him. But that means accepting his own happiness. If I'm going to be Queen, I have to accept that, and not take from him. Him, or Dawn, for all the kindness she's shown me."
"But, Serena!" Bonnie whined. Then, she felt a hand atop her head, gently patting it to pacify her.
"Dawn deserves the truth. Even if she'll hate me for hearing it."
In a timely enough fashion, the rustling of leaves could be heard, once again. Both Serena and Bonnie looked over to see Dawn, stumbling onto the scene. Holding onto tree bark, as if she'd been hiding behind it and eavesdropping.
Serena froze.
"...I'm lost." She frowned, stepping forward. Seeing Serena crouched by Bonnie, even she could see the devastation in her face, as well as Bonnie's. She offered the taller blonde a hand up. "Why would I hate you for telling the truth?"
Serena hesitated, before taking Dawn's hand and pulling herself up. "Thank you," she muttered. So, Dawn hadn't been eavesdropping, and if she had, she'd done a terrible job at it.
"Haven't you done enough!?" Bonnie fumed, hands on her hips. A gentle hand on her shoulder pacified her.
"...No, Bonnie." Serena shook her head, as she built her resolve within herself. "She deserves to know."
"Is everything alright, in there?" Nurse Joy stepped in the door to the room that'd been occupied, finding only Clemont, Pikachu, and Empoleon accompanying the resting Ash. "Oh, dear…"
"Define 'alright,'" Clemont muttered tiredly.
"What was that?" Joy asked.
"N-nothing!" He stuttered. "The others just… stepped outside for a minute. I'm still keeping watch of Ash. If anything seems amiss, I'll notify you promptly!"
Nurse Joy frowned, but if she had reservations, she didn't voice them, and stepped out.
Clemont leaned back in his seat, and sighed heavily. "What a day… I'm not quite sure what's even happening out there. But if I leave, Ash will be here without anyone to track his well-being… I feel so helpless."
"Pika-chu." Pikachu hopped over Ash, patting the blond's arm to console him.
"Empol!" Empoleon pat Clemont's shoulder with the same sentiment.
"Thank you, both of you…" Clemont shook his head, and turned to Empoleon. "You know, your trainer is quite the character."
"Emmm-pol." He knew.
"Hm…. Ugh." A low grumble alerted Clemont and his current company. It'd been Ash, who was now holding his head. He slowly blinked the sleep out of his eyes, slow to wake.
"Ash…!" Clemont gasped. "Please, don't strain yourself."
"Man, that was… a nap." Naturally, Ash didn't heed the warning, and sat up, groggily blinking his eyes. "How's Greninja?"
"Greninja's fine," Clemont assured, coughing into his hand. He was clearly trying to gloss over the chaos from moments before. "He was just tired after the battle; Nurse Joy has him resting, a couple rooms down the hall."
"Phew… Thank goodness." Ash exhaled in relief, lying back in the raised cot. He still felt a tad sluggish. Worse than that, he was frustrated. Narrowing his eyes. "I can't believe I fainted like that," he grumbled. But, his moping over losing the battle didn't have the chance to prolong itself. Something felt… off. And it wasn't Greninja, this time, he was sure. He glanced around the room. "...Hey. Where's Dawn? Or Serena, and Bonnie?"
Clemont sucked in a breath, drumming his fingers against his knee. He exchanged a look with Pikachu and Empoleon, who looked sympathetic to him, also glancing off.
"Clemont." Ash frowned. "Something doesn't feel right. What's with the silent treatment?" He glanced over to his partner, who looked similarly uncomfortable. "Pikachu?"
"Pikapi…" Pikachu sighed. He didn't quite seem sure how to answer Ash, either.
"You guys are starting to worry me," Ash said, leaning his hand into the cot beside him. He quickly retracted it when he felt moisture. "What the…?" Beside him was a very small puddle, soaking into the sheets. "What in the world…?"
"They're… tears," Clemont squeaked out, as his nerves started to get the better of him.
"Tears?" Ash's brow furrowed. "Who's? Was it Dawn? I'm sorry I scared you guys, but it was really no big deal. She should know that I get into stuff like-"
"They were Serena's!" Clemont squeaked out. Then, he slapped his hands over his mouth.
"Serena's…?" This was getting weirder, and more frustrating by the second. "Clemont, please. Tell me what happened here. I can't be the only one left in the dark."
Clemont bit his thumb, as the nerves overrode him. This was a terribly uncomfortable situation. But Ash did deserve the truth. "Alright! I'll tell you… to the best of my ability, that is." This seemed to pacify Ash, as he'd sat back down to listen. "It all happened so quickly. We were watching over you, after you'd been knocked out from your battle. We spoke about all of the danger you've walked into, before… and Dawn remarked fondly on your bravery, to charge into battle despite the damage you took. That was when Serena…"
"When Serena…?" Ash echoed, frowning.
"...She just snapped, Ash. She yelled at Dawn. Scolding her for leaving you incapacitated and not seeming to worry. Dawn replied that she would have expected you to do the same for her. I'll admit, I found it an odd thing to say, but it only made Serena more angry. She said 'this isn't how she imagined romance to be.'"
The revelation felt like a blow to the chest, for Ash. He hovered a hand over his heart, and his irises shrunk. He cursed under his breath.
"I hate to presume, "Clemont started. He really did hate it. "...but I can't help but deduce that the only logical explanation for any of this is that Serena is… well, jealous."
"...Oh, no." Ash had been vindicated, and he'd never felt more terrible to have been correct. Guilt weighed on him, and he collapsed back into the pull-up cot. "Damn it. Then, I was right, all along."
Clemont made a horrified face. "You knew!?"
"I didn't know!" Ash snapped back, defensively. He grimaced, turning his gaze to Pikachu. His partner's sullen expression erased any held-out doubt. "I just… had a nagging feeling, Clemont. But I always brushed it off, because it scared me."
"You… were scared?" Clemont struggled to get the last word out, as if placing it in the context of Ash was unthinkable. The cracking in his voice said as much.
"I'm a coward, Clemont."
Those were words the inventor couldn't possibly comprehend hearing. Not from Ash. But the empirical evidence didn't lie, and he'd heard them right from the Kantonian's lips. They made him flinch, as if his worldview had just taken a blow.
"There were moments that felt weird to me. Things that did come off a little obvious. Like, Miette or… whatever the heck it was at the time."
"Miette?" Clemont asked. He was starting to feel like he was the only one in the group who'd been on the out about things. But that was hardly important in the scope of today. "I don't quite understand…"
"Bonnie would say we were being 'dense' or whatever. But I thought, y'know! That's Bonnie. She asked Diantha to be your bride." A fact that Clemont desperately wished to forget. "I thought she was just a kid babbling. That Miette was just being a pain. That anything that sounded off to me was just me overthinking. Or, at least I sure as hell tried to think that."
Ash sighed heavily. Reality was crashing down upon him like a ton of bricks, and now that they were coming, he couldn't help but keep talking. "I always brushed it off. I mean, what if I was right? Then, I was hurting my friend, all this time…? What was I supposed to do!? Say something, and hurt her on the spot? Be wrong and look like a moron? Hurt the friendship we had, up until now!?"
Clemont winced, leaning back in his chair. All of these fears, and anxieties were something he'd expect of himself, quite frankly. Someone who didn't have it all put together, like Ash did. Or, at least, like the Ash that'd been projected to them, up until now. Part of Clemont wanted to ask why he hadn't told anyone up until now, while the rest of him knew that he'd have behaved exactly the same. He swallowed heavily, and collected himself.
"I… can certainly see your dilemma," he started. "But I assure you that Serena would still be your friend, even if you didn't reciprocate her feelings. Your friendship goes far deeper than that. Just as it does for all of us."
"Pika-chu." Pikachu agreed, leaning against Ash to comfort him.
Empoleon's cool wing rested on Ash's shoulder.
"I know that." The trainer's lips pulled into a thin line. He felt the impulse to pull away from both of them. He settled for pulling his shoulders closer to him. "I feel that way, too. But the time we've spent together, me and her… We've shared so many moments, that if maybe I stopped and looked at them differently…!"
Whatever Ash was going to say next, he wasn't quite sure, but he choked on those words before they'd come. A cold feeling washed over him, with a realization that turned his stomach.
The worst part was that Ash knew that everyone in the room knew where his words were headed. No, that wasn't quite the worst part about it. Not at all. "...Oh, no."
That was the gut-dropping guilt he'd just started feeling.
"Oh, dear…" Clemont grimaced.
He definitely had feelings for Serena.
Serena inhaled, and took a deep sigh. She couldn't hold this in good conscience any longer; she'd already berated herself, last night, for taking from Dawn, without even being willing to give her the truth. Now, the blue-haired girl who'd walked in and turned everything upside-down was staring right into her eyes. Wanting to know the truth.
She braved eye contact with Dawn, her lips pulled out thin.
"...I love Ash, Dawn. I have for a long time." Those words were a hurdle. They felt like they'd had to jump out of her chest to even be spoken. The rest came naturally with them. "I've loved him, and the past few days, frankly, have been a nightmare for me. I felt terrible, yesterday, for all the things I couldn't help but feel. I was… frustrated! You'd done nothing wrong, and yet you appearing upended everything I've known. I watched you, and your bond with Ash. I felt like I'd just been shoved aside, when I had no right to feel that way. I was… envious."
Serena expected tears to continue falling, but they didn't. If anything, giving herself a voice felt strangely cathartic. Like a weight she'd been clinging to, weighing her down, was finally being thrown off. It didn't erase her pain, but it made it easier to breathe.
"Of you for having him. Of Ash for having that, already… Even of Pikachu, for his happiness with Lopunny." She knew how strange that sounded, but yet, was it? He was just as much of a member of their group as anyone else, and he'd found happiness. "And it's made me feel like I've been nothing but selfish, despite your kindness. When we met yesterday, I felt we'd made for great friends… And in my selfishness, I may have walked all over that."
Serena succeeded in looking Dawn in the eye. She looked vaguely furious, by the thin lip, and deep furrow of her brow. Those intense eyes of hers were striking. "And I can understand that. I can understand if you're furious. But you had every right to know."
"Serena… What!? No!" Dawn belted out, much to Serena's confusion, as much as Bonnie's. She looked confused, putting her hands on Serena's shoulders. "I'm not angry that you love Ash. If anything, I'm angry you treated yourself like this!"
"Wh— what…?" Serena stared at Dawn blankly, like a Deerling in headlights.
"You should speak your mind!" Dawn insisted. "You should've let me know! You should have let Ash know! Put all your cards on the table!" In perhaps the most confusing confession of anger ever uttered, she clung tightly onto the blonde's shoulders, and pulled Serena in close enough to make sure that the only thing she could see were Dawn's wide, blue hues. "I am angry. Because you're far too talented, and kind-hearted, and pretty to treat yourself like a concession. Like you're secondary to me!"
Words were lost on Serena. Anything resembling a coherent thought had been squeezed out by Dawn's expression of… offense? Flattery!? All she could do was squeak, as a burning heat filled her cheeks at the praise, concern, and proximity being piled on, all at once.
She should have confessed to Ash? Like, while Dawn was here? Put her cards on the table? What did any of this mean!? It was perhaps the strangest thing she'd ever heard, and yet Serena couldn't help but feel… cared for. Despite everything she'd said, Dawn had embraced her with open arms, more than she ever could've hoped for.
"Wait, so you're saying that Serena should've tried to take your own boyfriend!?" Bonnie clarified, giving Dawn a look of utter, unimpressed disbelief. "You're very weird…"
"Dawn…" Serena exhaled. Without another thought, she pulled the shorter, but somehow larger-than-life girl in for a tight hug. Comfortably tall enough to rest her chin atop the black band worn atop Dawn's head. She wondered if this was an odd time to notice that whatever shampoo she used that lingered in its fragrance must smell nice.
"Thank you. I don't know how to thank you enough for your kindness." After the embrace, she gently pulled back, and wiped at her irritated eyes, "I'd never want to hurt you or Ash, or come between you. But there's… a certain competitive part in me that wants to go for broke, and try. And I feel terrible for that! That's no way for a future Queen to be thinking."
"I don't think so." After pulling back, Dawn frowned, resting her hands on her hips. "I mean, why should you feel terrible? The heart wants what the heart wants. What happens from there is just up to whoever's involved. You can't stifle feelings."
Serena took a moment to stare at Dawn blankly. "...While I can't help but feel that that's a little morally dubious," she admitted, "you… certainly feel things with all your heart." She believed wholeheartedly that everyone should pursue their happiness. Even if that passion was dead-set against her own. Something about that… Serena could only hold her head. 'I'm feeling a little overwhelmed…'
"I still think you should tell Ash everything," Dawn reiterated.
"But… why!?" Serea balked. "What happens from there…? You wouldn't just… give up on Ash, would you!?"
"Oh, never!" Dawn said, looking awfully too cheery for her words.
"Then where is all of this headed!?" Serena exclaimed, flabbergasted.
"I don't know!" Dawn said, even as she took Serena's hand. "But, no need to worry about that! Come on; we won't know until we try!"
As she said so, Serena barely had time to snatch up her fedora and place it back on her head, before Dawn pulled her back the way they'd come. "W-wait a second!"
Bonnie watched the duo, eyes wide. "Dawn is kind of a moron. But I respect her a lot more now, somehow," she said to Dedenne and Squishy.
"Nenee." Dedenne seemed to agree, watching the older girls ahead of them with some bewilderment.
"Woloo." Squishy chattered. The relationships between humans were an interesting and complex phenomenon, for sure. His musings would go unspoken, though, beyond his meaningless syllables. He'd listen for the results with interest, he decided, as Bonnie carried him off.
Despite her complete confusion, Serena smiled. Dawn really was just like Ash.
Ash felt dizzy. Supremely dizzy. The last several years were bouncing around in his head, unwelcome. He recounted his relationship with Dawn; all his time with her. Did he feel for her any less? Not one bit. Seeing her these past days had still made his heart race, and his face hurt from all the smiling he'd done. If anything, it felt stronger than before.
If his feelings had wavered, he might not feel like such a tremendous jackass.
But then, when his mind drifted to Serena… Knowing that the two of them had probably broken her heart was its own pain. He wanted nothing more than to go to her and console her… Hold her? Tell her it was okay?
He suddenly missed the time period where he'd decided love was too complicated, and wasn't worth pondering. He understood it, again. But it wasn't as if he could just go back.
He felt Pikachu brush up against his arm. It was only so much consolation, but Ash reached to pet him, anyway. "Thanks, Pikachu… Sorry, Empoleon. I'm sure you hate me, right now."
"Pol… Poleon!" Empoleon fervently denied.
"...So you don't think Dawn would?" He dared to look back at the penguin, who shook his head with a resounding 'no.' That was reassuring, kind of.
"This is… quite an ugly picture, I'll admit." Clemont spoke, hesitantly. Although the Pokémon would look at Ash, right now, he couldn't. "I never thought I'd see you in this sort of situation."
"Me neither," Ash said. "I'm not a perfect person. I have my own feelings, and fears, and things that confuse me, just like everyone else… But damn it, I never thought I'd sink this low!" Punctuating his words, he punched the cot's plush mattress. The bed under him creaked.
Clemont bit his lip. "I think it's only fair to remind you that you haven't actually done anything. The only sin here, really, is what you didn't do."
"...Yeah. I guess you've got a point. Thanks, Clemont." Ash smiled weakly.
"Be that as it may," Clemont continued, frowning. "I believe that the only logical conclusion is to be honest."
"...Yeah." Ash drawled out with a whine, shrugging his shoulders. He took a deep breath, and smacked both of his cheeks. "Yeah, you're totally right. I will!"
Clemont felt some degree of relief. They were getting somewhere. However, he wondered. "Aren't you scared?"
"Of course I am," Ash said. "I know all of us will be friends, no matter what… But of course I'm scared of how this'll affect things with Dawn! We've been together for years, and known each other even longer. I love her…" The fact that he said that without an ounce of hesitation was something of a comfort. He just hoped it didn't come crashing down.
"And then, Serena. Who knows what it'll be like to hang around her, after today? I'm kind of terrified, guys." He said as much with weak laughter, but no one believed it, really.
Clemont paused, if only to choose his words carefully. This situation deserved tact and delicate words. "I believe I understand you now, Ash."
Ash looked over to him, eyes wide in confusion.
"All of those times that you've shown courage in the face of insurmountable odds and danger. It wasn't a lack of fear, but the character to feel fear and act in spite of it." Clemont stood up from his seat, and sat down beside Ash, placing a hand on the trainer's shoulder. "You taught me courage, Ash. It's only right that I remind you of it."
"Clemont…" Ash's eyes shone brilliantly. Clemont was right; absolutely right, and it struck a chord deep within him. He couldn't put appreciation for his friend into words, at least adequately. Instead, he threw an arm around the blond's shoulder, pulling him in. "Thanks, Clemont. Thanks for being such a good friend." Ash smiled widely. "You're right. I'm gonna go tell them!"
Perhaps there was something poetic about a battlefield being the meeting point for the two halves of the group, outside the Pokémon Center. Everyone coming together with their hearts guarded, and ready for confrontation and hurt, whichever way it might go.
No one knew what the results would be, really. Yet, they would fight.
"Ash…! Clemont!" Serena gasped. Dawn had led her back to the Pokémon Center, only for her two friends to be crossing the spray painted lines that drew the boundaries for conflict. Pikachu and Empoleon kept pace with them.
The many burns, thin layers of frost, and breaks in ground still remained from Ash and Dawn's battle, earlier this morning. Ash's eyes drifted to them; the trigger for the cork popping off on… well, everything. He almost wished they'd never had that battle, no matter how fun it was.
He winced. No, he couldn't take back that bonding they'd done, and he wouldn't. It would've just kept the lid on this situation, anyway. "Dawn… Serena." Ash stopped in his tracks. His eyes drifted between his long-time girlfriend, and the woman he'd met in his childhood.
Both of them looked like they were on a mission, just as much as he was. It made him swallow heavily. "...Listen. I've got something I need to tell you-"
"I have something I need to say, Ash." Serena frowned, holding her closed fist over her chest. "Now, and not a moment sooner."
"I know. I mean, I believe it!" Ash corrected himself. "But it's important that-"
"Serena's going first." Dawn interjected, holding Serena's other hand with two of hers. Her words were definite, and they were final.
Ash knew as much, and he flinched. "Dawn…" Braving his fears, he met her eyes. They were intense; he knew at that moment that she couldn't be persuaded otherwise. What exactly had gone on…? Was he in trouble? He felt like he was definitely in trouble.
Then again, if Dawn was truly furious, she would've already been loud about it. Ash tried to shake the fear off, knowing what he knew about her. Even still, though, the sense that he was being ganged up on was hard to ignore. "...Alright. That's fine with me." He gestured a hand to Serena, and gave her his full attention. "Go ahead, Serena."
Serena took a deep breath, bracing herself. 'This is it, Serena… Go for broke.' This could be her only chance with Ash, and she was going to speak her mind. Even if they weren't remotely alone. "Ash," she started, looking him in the eye. "...I wish I'd been better prepared to say this, but Dawn is right; you have the right to know. I'm…" She swallowed heavily. "I'm in love with you."
The words were like the greatest, most reckless Volt Tackle, crashing into him all at once. At risk of her own feelings, she threw everything at him. He'd let out a gasp, but couldn't find any other words. Everything they'd presumed was true; he wasn't going to interrupt, anyway; she definitely had more to say. He could tell, by the way she hugged her fists over her collarbone, and drew in breath for the next revelation.
"I don't know when the feelings building within me gained the name, but I've been harboring them for a long time."
With the proclamation, came the initial impact. Her admission of longevity was the shock, striking Ash with guilt. "For how long!?" He blurted out, leaning forward. He realized his folly, interrupting her, and settled back down. "...Sorry."
A question that was difficult to answer, Serena thought. It all blended together so seamlessly. "I'm not even sure," she admitted. "I may have even liked you back when we were kids, at the summer camp. But that was just infatuation," she admitted, shaking her head. "You'd given me courage, and it stuck with me. But this journey…" The intensity and raw honesty in her eyes struck Ash. "I've gotten to know you in a whole new way. You're an inspiration in everything you do, and I really can't imagine life without you."
She smiled bittersweetly, one lip more upturned than the other. Thin brows pulled in, preparing for the hurt that might come afterward. "When I learned about Dawn… I thought my hopes were sunk forever. And I would've dealt with it, I swear! And I still will, if I have to. None of this erases the progress we've made as friends. As a family," she said, looking at Clemont and Bonnie. "I will not apologize for feeling as much," she said, blue hues darting to Dawn. "But I am sorry that I've likely put you in many uncomfortable situations, without meaning to. I had no idea."
"You don't have to be sorry," Ash insisted. "It's my fault for never telling you, and letting this all play out."
"You shouldn't have to apologize! Not for being your noble self, and taking things honestly." Serena insisted. Not as a request, but the sort of scolding she'd learned to do, on her way to her dream. She simply wouldn't allow it. "As your friend, I won't let you."
Ash tensed, clenching his fist. "I wasn't noble or honest!" He shouted. Stunning the entirety of the group into silence. His eyes slipped out of visibility, below the shadow of his cap. For all of the preparation he'd done to bear his thoughts, only for Serena to praise his straightforwardness… It made it that much harder.
No one answered his outburst. He sucked in a breath, and made eye contact, once more. "I owe both of you the truth," he addressed Dawn and Serena. "With all the time we've spent together, Serena… I've really enjoyed it. I should've said something a lot sooner. About Dawn, and all. But I was scared. Scared of things falling through, with us. Of hurting the friendship we've had going. And Dawn," he said, addressing the blue-haired Coordinator.
He felt like he'd lied to her just as much, now.
"I've never stopped loving you, for even a second." He saw Serena flinch, out of the corner of his eye. "But the time I've enjoyed with Serena…" Ash took a deep breath. "I definitely think I've liked her, too!"
"Wh—what!?" Serena squeaked out.
"You've got to be kidding!" Bonnie exclaimed.
Clemont, and the Pokémon were silent.
Frankly, the one person Ash expected a reaction out of, Dawn, only looked… mildly upset, somehow. "...Yeah. All those times I had a feeling, I didn't want to believe it. But it's the truth."
"...Ash." Serena gripped the red fabric of her jacket. His confession had choked the words out of her. But nothing else about this moment seemed right. She should be crying happy tears, yet her eyes were dry. She should be celebrating having what she wanted in her wildest dreams, but she didn't feel like celebrating. Nothing about this felt real.
She'd averted her worst fears, and yet, nothing was ideal.
"I'm sorry," Ash said, bowing his head. "Both of you. And, Dawn…" The way his brows held low made the hurt and fear in his eyes apparent. "I totally understand if you hate me, now."
"What!? Hate you!?" Dawn sputtered out, frowning. "Ash, I could never hate you. But I am mad, because you should've said something!"
"...Say what, now?" Ash said, raising a brow. Of all the ways he'd expected Dawn to react, this had to be right at the bottom of the list.
"This is the exact same thing she told Serena," Bonnie added flatly.
"If you were traveling with someone as amazing as Serena, I would've wanted to know sooner! Rather than you torturing yourself like that, without letting me know you were going through it!"
"I'm… ah." Ash blinked slowly, and his mouth hung open. He was at a complete loss.
"I think I feel like I'm about to short-circuit," Clemont groaned. "None of this makes any sense."
"Now, hold on!" Serena interrupted. "I wanted to state my feelings and bear my soul, so I could no longer have regrets. But I'm not going to stand for poking holes in the relationship of two people that I care so much for!" She raised a hand, tightening it into a fist to wave it aside. "In just the two days I've known Dawn, you've… pulled me into a whirlwind I can hardly process. And, Ash…" She met his eyes with intensity he'd rarely seen, teeth bared.
"I cannot describe my frustration with how I can't even find the breathing room to process the fact that you confessed reciprocating my feelings."
Ash swallowed heavily.
"As much as I admire you both, you're… confusing!" Serena groaned, as she threw her hands in the air. "It's not as if I can have it all…"
Dawn frowned, tilting her head. "Well, why not?"
Perhaps being on the same page for the first time since Dawn had arrived, Ash and Serena joined one another in snapping at her; "What does that even mean!?"
"Why should any of us settle for less than what we want?" Dawn clarified.
Serena scoffed at that, crossing her arms crossly. "Unless a Performer is free to date both an aspiring Pokémon Master and Pokémon Coordinator, then that's not quite possible." Squeaking, Serena slapped her hands over her mouth. 'When did Dawn come into this!?'
"Wait, you like Dawn!?" Ash exclaimed.
"Why wouldn't she!?" Dawn challenged.
"Ughhh!" Bonnie groaned. "You're all being so stupid! You should all just go out!"
"Bonnie…!" He scolded, promptly snatching her by the back of her shirt with his Aipom Arm. "You can't just say that!"
"Well, why not!?" Bonnie argued.
"It's, just… it's… it's a lot more complicated than that!" Clemont sputtered. He clearly wasn't prepared to give his little sister this sort of talk at all. "Everything about that is just… unconventional. Unpragmatic! Scientifically impossible!"
"Love isn't scientific, Bro!" Bonnie shouted.
"I think it's a great idea!" Dawn chimed, resting her hands on Serena's shoulders.
The gears seemed to turn quickly in Ash's head, even as he adjusted to a whole new perspective of the hole he'd dug himself into. He'd had no clue something like this was even possible. But it solved all of his problems! Dawn wouldn't be unhappy. He got to keep being with her, and he'd stay friends with Serena… Hell, he got to be more with her, if she accepted! "I agree with Dawn!" He exclaimed, ever quick to adapt.
"H-huh!?" Serena squeaked. Immediately pulling her fedora off her head to crunch between her hands, with a loud, confused exclamation. "WHAT IS THIS!?" Everything was happening so quickly. She was completely confused, and it was making her feel dizzy…
"Serena." Ash said softly, as he took one of her hands. She used the other to place her hat back on, and listen. He looked awfully serious. "I'd really like a chance to make this whole situation, and any other trouble I've caused up to you. Any pain, or worry, or heartbreak… Whatever. I wanna do things right, and this is the perfect chance to do that!"
"Ash…" Serena couldn't quite believe her ears. Unlike his initial confession, she felt the tears of happiness begin to roll down her cheeks. What'd he'd said was real. Sure, he'd had Dawn, but the budding romance she'd imagined for months had been real the entire time.
Dawn took the opportunity to seize her other hand, linking their fingers. "And I want a chance to treat you like the prize you are, and make up for how miserable you've felt since I got here." True to character, she felt no guilt for being, or her very presence shaking up a scene. But she did want Serena to be compensated. Her sunny smile, compared to Ash's look of tenderness, said it all.
"Dawn, I…" She had no free hand to stop her tears from falling; both were being held by her long-time inspiration, and freshly new wonder of a woman. "I'll admit… It's going to take me some time to wrap my head around all of this and accept it. The past two days have been exhausting, and I never imagined an outcome like this possible."
The honey blonde smiled, shaking her head. When was traveling with Ash and their friends ever typical, really? "But if you two are kind enough to allow me into what you have… Then, I'll happily take you up on that offer!"