Chapter 6: We were something don't you think so

Summary:

This a flashback chapter which will go through 3 separate short povs.

This chapter is based off Taylor Swift's song the 1

Notes:

there will be no smut in this chapter as some people do not like it I thought it was a good time to take a break from it! :)

TW: grief talk, talk of wanting to die

Chapter Text

Sirius

mid December 1979

Sirius seen Regulus out. He did not feel comfortable sending his baby brother back to grimmauld place even if it was only for another night. He had offered him the sofa but Regulus refused, he was set on keeping appearances for one more night. This is something Sirius was not at all pleased about, he wanted his brother away tonight, free from all he had become tangled in. Sirius had to inform Remus of everything that had taken place and explain how he would have to come with them to retrieve the horcrux. 'A fucking horcrux' he thought running his hands through his hair. This was a most foul object, you needed first to commit murder which split the soul in two, then commit an act Sirius did not want to think about in order to store the part of the soul in an object.

Remus looked up from his book when Sirius entered the room and gave him a small smile. Sirius couldn't help but think just how beautiful his boyfriend was even with the fact he was almost too lanky to even fit into their bed. He looked at the scars on his face and thought about the times he used to draw stars around them. Moons too, remus was his moon, his moony, the steady glow in the darkness. He thought of all those years wasted where he could spend entangled in his, breathing him in. Sirius was just lucky he didn't leave it too late all together to confess his love for his favourite werewolf.

"Well then," Remus said, clearing his throat, "What did the Black heir want," he said, mouth twisted as he talked of Sirius' baby brother.

"Voldemort he, um he has created a horcrux love," Sirius sighed. He watched as the colour drained from Remus' face.

"And Regulus has come to tell us this, why?" he asked, confused.

"He wants out Rem, he's gonna turn his back on him. He never wanted this. I think we both know that," Sirius choked out.

"Oh and all is forgiven then we are going to go horcrux hunting with a death eater then?" Remus shook his head.

"I stand with him, Remus. I'm going to stand with my brother now that he has seen sense," Sirius has a gaping Regulus sized hole in his very being after discovering the dark mark on his brother in Sirius' last year. Things were rough for Regulus back then he lost his baby, him and James' baby, he was a wreck probably easily swayed to join the dark side. Probably didn't put up much of a fight he was barely a person back then Sirius thought sadly.

"Why is it so easy to forgive him? To run to his side. I get we have to find this horcrux and destory it because we cannot have you know who bloody well immortal. Why, though, why have you forgiven him so easily? After years of hating him, after pushing James to ask Lily out instead. We don't know what he has done in the last few years, Sirius. We don't know the extent of the damage he has been causing," Remus shook his head.

"I DON'T CARE," Sirius Bellowed. "He is my baby brother and he has seen the light. I'm going to help him get away like I should have done years ago! I'm going to make damn sure nothing happens to him too," he continued more softly, "I am glad James and Lily are together. Regulus isn't going to mess that up!" Sirius was feeling rather hot.

"Maybe not intentionally." Remus murmured, "Look Sirius, I didn't tell you because I didn't want to bring Regulus up to you. James told me that night we bought all of them bottles of wine to have a tasting night just before Lily got pregnant. He told me that he was still in love with Regulus, that he still tried to write to him but never went through with sending the letter. He said sometimes he has had a lot of drink and he and Lily are snogging. He closes his eyes and pretends she's Regulus," It got silent after that until Sirius started crying.

"Whatever," he sniffed, "He isn't going to mess it up, James is having a baby with Lily now. James wouldn't want to hurt Lily. Regulus said he wouldn't mess it up." Sirius' heart was aching for Lily. Lily, who he'd grown really close to. Lily who was usually the last one up drinking with him. Lily who never grew tired of listening to his problems. Sirius couldn't see her hurt especially now there was a baby involved. "We will have to inform James that Regulus got out though, I'm sending him an owl,"

"Okay babe," Remus held his gaze. Sirius walked slowly to the bed as he climbed in Remus wrapped his arms around him shielding him from the hurt of the outside world. Tomorrow they'd have to embark on a harrowing mission but for now he was safe in the arms of his love.

Regulus

Late December 1979

Regulus and James had exchanged a few short letters since Regulus had come over to the light side. Tonight though Regulus was meeting James in person for the first time since Regulus left school forever the April of his sixth year. Regulus had spent the last few days getting settled into his small flat that Sirius rents for him. Sirius also makes sure that Regulus has food, clothes, and drinks. Sirius was really looking after him until he got on his feet. Sirius was the rich one now, with having been left an obscene amount of money by their uncle Alphard. Regulus literally did not have a knut to his name since leaving home.

As he heard the knock on the door it was as if his heart floated from his chest and out his mouth. James, his James, or rather was his James. Regulus walked slowly to the door and opened it. There he was, silky brown skin, new glasses, hair as messy as ever there was James Potter. The star crossed love of his life. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and plant a kiss on his cheek. He wanted James to return the favour by planting one of Regulus' jaw. He couldn't though James was with Lily now and he had gotten her pregnant. James was good at getting people Pregnant Regulus thought bitterly as he beckoned James to come in.

"Can we talk then?" James asks nervously.

"Yeah, whatever you want," Regulus answers, twisting the silver ring on his fingers.

"How have you been since the cave, I heard what happened?" James asked casually. Though there was nothing casual about what happened in the cave Regulus had taken the potion that brought up the very worst of his memories. Losing Atlantis, Losing James, Sirius leaving, Torcherd by family, being made to take the dark mark and worst of all the people he hurt.

"As fine as one can be after almost drowning," Regulus shrugged. Sirius had saved him, he wouldn't be standing here if he went there alone.

"I should have been there," James murmured.

"Nah you were needed at home," Regulus said bitterly, "Congratulations by the way," He looked away from James. When he finally looked back James was looking at the ground,

"It doesn't mean I love Atlantis any less, I want you to know that Reg. I think about him every day, as I'm sure you do. He'll always be my first baby boy," his voice was breaking as he spoke.

"So it's a boy," Regulus asks in a small voice.

"Yeah," James confirms. Suddenly both men were crying. James walked over to Regulus and pulled him close and wrapped his arms around him. Regulus automatically buried himself in the crook of James' neck like he'd alway done. They just allowed themselves to cry and feel the grief of the baby they never got to raise. James smelt like he always did, that just made Regulus cry more because it really hadn't been that long since he was smelt it, they broke up in Jame' last year, they broke up in early 78. This was late 79 and in all that time James rushed to get married and get a girl pregnant. Well not any girl but Lily Evans who was the first person he ever desired so Regulus was hardly surprised.

They stayed in that positon for twenty minutes before Regulus broke free and offered James some wine. James accepted and followed him a few steps to the kitchen. He brought out a red bottle and white bottle and two glasses and poured them both a glass from the red first. They took a sip sitting opposite each other.

"I never stopped hurting since I left," James said into his glass. "I missed you every day Reg," he told him, Regulus just wished he didn't look ashamed of that fact.

"The feeling is mutual," Regulus shrugged.

"Can we be friends Reg? Like really, really be friends?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Regulus croaked because it was better than nothing. James took Regulus hand and Regulus felt his heart beat faster. They took a sip of wine with their free hands and then James gave Regulus' hand a squeeze.

"Reg do you remember the first time you took me to the room of requirement?" he laughed breathlessly.

"Yeah I told you to envision the room whatever what you wanted it and you made it a fucking tree house," Regulus laughed fondly. Regulus had made it a mix between a library and a common room each time before that or a plain room that was a passageway into the Hogshead to get alcohol for parties. James' mind though, this is why Regulus loved him so.

"Yeah and then one of the other times I decided a tv would go in the tree house and you watched your first film, well we watched it together Charlie and the Chocolate factory," he laughed, "I always think of that day.

"Yeah that was an odd experience. That grandfather was bed ridden yet could jump out of bed when that weird ticket was mentioned," Regulus scoffed sipping his wine,

"I think you preferred Jaws, love" James said, rubbing circles into Regulus' skin with his thumb.

"I did but I didn't like when the shark died," Regulus frowned

"What about the time we wanted a pool and we had to fill it up ourselves using aguamenti! Our arms were almost dead by the time it filled," James was grinning so wide. Regulus was sure he was rubbing hearts onto his skin now not circles.

"Yeah we spent so long with our feet in the water throwing knuts in making 'wishes' plans for the future like we had a fucking clue." Regulus looked away saddened.

"Hey, That was the day we discovered the t potions finally gave you facial hair!" Regulus looked back and they shared a smile,

"You stood behind me cupping my face, shaving me while I held your wrist and tried not to laugh," Regulus mused.

"You know the greatest films of all time were never made," James croaked. Something passes between then as Regulus is sure he understands what he is saying.

"The greatest loves of all time are over now," Regulus added. James nodded in agreement,

"We were something, don't you think so?" James sang squeezing Regulus' hand. Regulus nods. I'm so glad I can sit having drinks with you. I'm so glad you came back into our lives Reg. Do you even realise how brave you are! How brave you've been finding that horcrux and leaving mouldy voldy,"

"Things we do for love," Regulus shrugged.

"I can picture us fifty years from now, you beating me at wizards chess, me complaining. Sirius and Remus still snogging at 70," James laughed,

"You and Lily too, and your legions of children," The smile from James' face faded when Regulus said this.

"Remember when you were too shy to give me a kiss that night I asked on the astronomy tower?" James seemed determined on changing the subject.

"Yeah well 'Gis a kiss then' wasn't very romantic of you, especially for me who hadn't been kissed," Regulus scoffed,

"Glad I got that first kiss in the end," They had kissed on their first date in the Hogshead. No one really went there so they could have a secret date. It was late september 1976 and Regulus had gotten very drunk after drinking really strong elf wine. If only James would be his last kiss too, the chance of that happening died last month when he married Lily. Maybe they married because of the baby? Either way James was better off Regulus didn't deserve him.

They finished both bottles of wine talking about nonsense then it came time for James to return to Lily. Before James went off though Regulus showed him the snitch he had left in his dorm one valentine's day before they even got together, 'in another life' engraved on it. James gets teary again as he takes the snitch in his hand.

"In another life eh Reg," he said before he kisses Regulus' hair. Regulus traced the leo constellation James had tattoo'd on the side of his neck. He got it summer just before his final year of Hogwarts. It was crazy he never got rid of it even with the shambles their last year together turned out to be. James stepped into the fireplace with a fist full of floo powder and said "If my wishes came true it would have been you," before he threw the floo powder and disappeared in the green flames.

He of course was talking about the wishes they made in the pool. Two carefree kids, Regulus can't help but wonder if he had been able to carry their baby to term and give birth to him alive would everything be different? Honestly though he truly thinks James is better off with Lily but he can't help thinking 'It would've been sweet if it had of been me'

Lily

February 1980

Lily held her tears back as she waited on Mary's arrival. If anyone could make her feel semi normal again after what had happened the night before it was Mary. James had asked her for a divorce. He wanted to be with Regulus. He was going to be there for their baby and be an active part in his life but he needed to be with Regulus apparently. He had asked for her a divorce before even talking to Regulus and seeing if that's what he wanted too. So there was a chance he had left her for an unrequited love. Lily didn't know what was worse, she didn't know what had gotten into James. They hadn't meant to get pregnant, she knows that. They were in the middle of a war, both active members of the order. They must have been careless after drinking. Lily sat at the table now almost four months pregnant.

Lily's mood perked up when Mary stepped out of the flames.

"I couldn't bring wine so I brought pumpkin juice and peppermint toads," she sang, putting the bottles down on the table along with the sweets. Lily smiled fondly at her best friend. No one had Mary's warmth or beauty.

"What's up buttercup? I mean you're smiling but you look like you are about to burst out crying angel. Pregnancy hormones?" she pushed Lily's hair out of her face as she spoke.

"Less pregnancy hormones and more James has left me for a death eater," she told her, Mary's mouth fell open and Lily allowed the tears to escape her emerald eyes.

"We are talking about Regulus right?" Mary asked harshly. Lily nodded, Mary burst out in laughter but not amused laughter, a sinister laugh. "What a stupid bastard. He seriously, seriously has left you for that fucking mess?" Lily nodded again. "I need a drink," Lily gets out some spiced rum and pours it into a glass. Mary tops it up with the pumpkin juice. Lily drinks her pumpkin juice plain from the bottle as she cannot have alcohol. "What did he have to say for himself then,"

"That I'm not him," Lily grimances.

"Of course you aren't him. You are ten times the person Regulus Black is," Mary tuts,

"James doesn't care about how bad of a person he is. James just wants him, I'm not enough," Lily buries her hands in her face.

"Of course you are enough! You are quite literally the best person I know, not to mention you have the best hair and you are actually good looking unlike Regulus," Mary spat. Lily rolled her eyes, Regulus quite literally looked like he should be made into a statue, he was perfect. "What about the baby then?" Mary asked carefully

"He's going to stay here with me, he's going to live with me and care for the baby with me but he is going to spend some night with Regulus I guess,"

"I'll be here on the nights he is with his death eater boyfriend," Mary says, grabbing her hand. Lilys fingers intertwined with Mary's easily; it feels right.

"Thank you Mary," Lily smiles weakly as Mary drinks at her spiked pumpkin juice with her free hand.

"I'm worried though. Back when we were at Hogwarts Regulus wanted them both to be dead to be with their son at one point, what if those feelings creep up? What if he,"

"You can't let this man be near your baby," Mary shakes her head.

"I'll definitely need to see a significant change before I ever even think of it," Lily mutters. "He was maddned with grief at the time with what had happened," Lily bit her lip, feeling bad for using how he felt at that time against him.

"Yeah I remember him drunk in the halls on his way to class," Mary sighed

"Let's talk about something else, I can't be in this state, I need to be somewhat ok for the baby,"

"Do you remember back in Hogwarts our sloppy drunk kisses every single time there was a party?" Mary asked smiling shyly. Lily nodded blushing furiously, "Yeah well, that was my favourite part of being at school," she shrugged.

"Rosé flowing with our chosen family," Lily giggled, the memory of the kisses dancing through her brain. She can't help but think as looks into Mary's eyes 'It would have been fun if you would have been the one'