Chapter 8: Barty's Trial
Summary:
Tensions run high for Regulus as he heads to his best friends trial.
Notes:
CW: this chap wolfstar smut but it can be skipped by -- there is bold lines before and after to make it easy to skip.
Chapter Text
Regulus
Regulus had been throwing up a bit away from the tent for the last twenty five minutes. All this being sick reminded him of being clung to toilet bowls in Hogwarts when pregnant with Atlantis. Now though he was ruining a nice spot of grass with a crazy amount of vomit. He was retching and spluttering. It was sore and tasted bad. His nose leaked, his eyes watered but soon he was able to gather himself and begin breathing. He heard someone clear their throat when he looked around. It was Remus Lupin with a glass of water. Regulus took it gratefully and took a sip feeling it run through his body curing his insides, he immediately went back for more water.
"I came out to use nature's toilet and saw you bent over spewing your guts up so I went back in for water. Figured you could use some," Remus said tenderly. Regulus finished off the water quickly.
"I'm pregnant," he confessed immediately. There was no point in hiding it now Remus was obviously going to be suspicious. Remus smiled as soon as the words had left Regulus' mouth though, it was a kind smile it was genuine.
"Congratulations Reg. You and James definitely deserve some happiness after all this. I'm really pleased for you both," when Remus finished speaking Regulus returned his smile. "I don't know how Sirius will react though. You know how he can get, he's mental really." as Remus spoke Regulus nodded. "It could go either way though he could be really pleased for you both as you are both adults now and sixteen and seventeen years old anymore," Remus shrugged.
Regulus grabbed his own stomach but thought not of his daughter but the little baby boy he never got to raise, his heart pangs. 'I miss you everyday' he thinks though he cannot allow himself to go to the place he was in when what happened to Atlantis happened. He can see clearly in his mind the image of the iris flowers his son is buried beneath and something catches in the back of his throat.
"Barty's trial today," Remus stated, Regulus just nodded rubbing his tummy now forcing himself to think of his daughter.
"Sirius and I are just going to take Harry to the park while you and James go to the trial," Remus told him.
"Thank you," Regulus closed his eyes, breathing in gratitude, the trial would have been too much with a one year old. After the trial is over they will be boarding the Hogwarts express to search for the diadem. Regulus waits while Remus uses the 'Natures toilet' his mind focused on the diadem he is sure is correct; it has to be in Hogwarts. When they return to the tent they find James in the kitchen area bouncing Harry on his Knee and Sirius standing near the kettle. Regulus leans over to give his husband a close mouth kiss, saviouring in his smell it makes something flutter inside in even after all these years. James Potter would always have the ability to make him crumble. James tries to go in for more to part his mouth,
"I've been throwing up darling," he whispers. James looks like doesn't care about this that he just wants Regulus' tongue in his mouth but the moment is broken when Harry reaches for Regulus' hair and pulls it hard, "Fuck." Regulus cursed angry,
"No honey, we don't pull hair," James said softly gently removing Harry's fingers from Regulus' hair. Annoyed Regulus walked away to take a seat. Regulus' annoyance ceased when Sirius sat tea and toast down in front of everyone. He actually felt hungry this morning and immediately grabbed for a slice while he waited for his tea to cool. He looks at Harry at thinks of Luna,
"Luna will be one in February," he says to no one in particular.
"Times going so fast soon these two monsters will be off to Hogwarts together," James said tickling Harry,
"I miss her and Pandora," Regulus muttered. James gave him a small smile,
"Sooner we get these Horcruxes destroyed as soon as we know he can't come back, the sooner we can see them," James reached over and took his husband's hand and squeezed it.
"Ok so will we meet at a hotel after you two are done with fuckface's trial?" Sirius asked
"Yeah I think that's best," Remus chimed in, "Give Harry a bit of a rest with cartoons and stuff then we can get the train to Hogwarts the next morning, too much travelling by magic won't be good for baby Harry and we already have to appearate to Hogmeade to floo to London,"
"Yeah but that we have no choice in," Regulus said cooly, he was going to Barty's trial nothing would stop him,
"I know, I know, just saying we will give him a rest and we agreed on the train there already," Remus said softly. As soon as Regulus was finished with breakfast he brushed his teeth so he could give his husband a proper kiss. Fisting his own curls, holding them back from his head so Harry couldn't pull them while he kissed James.
"Merlin you are the loveliest thing ever, isn't he the loveliest thing ever," James moaned in between kisses,
"Stop, you're going to make me hurl." Sirius warned, "Stop being so cheesy with my brother!" he commanded. Regulus rolled his eyes.
"We did just get married!" he scoffed. Sirius' face fell he looked like he almost forgot that their wedding happened so recently, that it all went to shit that night. Sirius gave his brother a sympathetic look then decided to dissolve the tension in the room.
"Ice cream and lollipops all free today," he said in a creepy voice. Regulus screamed remembering the movie they'd watched a few nights ago in the hotel,
"Stop! You know he creeped me out!" Regulus warned. Just when he thought he was getting used to the muggle concept of films finally. Sirius huffed out a laugh,
"Come on Reggie the child catcher is comical," Regulus just shuddered as he spoke. James abruptly started singing a song from the movie 'I have you two,' to Regulus and Harry. Harry giggled at his father and Regulus smiled against his will. It took them longer than it should have to get the tent down and in the bag, Regulus was stressed he did not want to be late for Barty's trial. Harry cried after the apparition to Hogsmeade
"Shhh! You are okay honey," James cooed at him. Regulus was stressed more this isn't a normal cry it was hysterical.
"We can't be late James," Regulus cut through sharply,
"I know Reggie baby, I'm just trying to calm him down," James told him with sweat starting to form on his forehead. Regulus almost started crying, his hormones were running high with being pregnant.
"I don't think he's going to stop crying, well just have to take him through the floo and calm him after," Regulus shrugged heatedly,
"Reg, love," James said softly,
"Sirius and I will calm him here before flooing him to London, where we'll take him to the park," Lupin interjected before James could finish.
"Cheers Moony," James breathed handing Harry to Sirius,
"C'mon uncle Pads has you Harry darling," Sirius said taking him and kissing his forehead.
"Dada," Harry cried hard, James looked as though his heart was breaking.
"Come on darling we can't be late," Regulus hated this, he wasn't a good step dad he didn't think. He thought Harry deserved better, that he deserved Lily that his best chance at being raised with as much love as he deserves died with her. James leaned forward and kissed Harry's hair,
"Dada and Papa will see you soon Harry, we love you so much," James breathed, giving Harry one final kiss. Then James took his husband's hand and headed to the three broomsticks to use the floo network. "He'll be alright won't he?" James worried
"Of course. Sirius is great with him as is Lupin," Regulus sighed. They were it was true Harry loved them and them him, they were the best uncles a kid could ask for not unlike what uncle Alphard had been like for him and Sirius. James kissed Regulus hungrily before Regulus stepped into the fire and Flood to the ministry of magic. Regulus was only in the building for thirty seconds before James came through the green flames too,
"Hi again, pretty boy," James winked,
"Let's go," Regulus said, pulling James along. He suddenly felt like he was in first year again and James asked to be pointed in the direction of the trial,
"Hey beautiful," a first year Barty had said on the train, "Why are you crying?"
"My brother left me out, he invited me into his compartment to be with his friends and they all just left me out. I hate them all but especially the gormless looking one with glasses, who kept winking at me but wouldn't include me," Regulus has said through tears.
"Your brother and his friends sound like tosspots," he pouted,
"My brother is the greatest or was anyway before he met that Potter boy," Regulus dried his eyes.
"Oi Evan, Panda, there's a compartment free here we don't have to go back and sit with that greasy boy and ginger girl again," Barty called and two more people appeared. Regulus knew these were Rosiers, he had met Evan before,
"Oh hey '...' " Evan called, giving Regulus a name that now no longer belongs to him.
"Hi I'm Evans' cousin Pandora! Do you want a friendship ring?" Pandora has said pulling out a box of rings from her bag, and pushing it towards Regulus. Regulus chucked and picked out a silver one with a snake, that was the first ring Regulus wore. After that Regulus acquired a taste for wearing silver rings.
"So you guys are going to be in Slytherin then?" Regulus asked hopefully as they all took seats in the compartment
"Wait, how do we know? We don't get to choose?" Barty said crooking his head,
"Oh we know," Evan said, shuddering.
"Slytherin it is then!" Barty called out and then stuck his hand out, "Bartemius Crouch jr," Regulus took his hand a shook it,
"Yeah I'm just going to call you Barty," he laughed.
Now he was walking in to his friend, probably being sent to Azkaban. How did this happen? How did they all get here? Evan killed trying to take down Mad Eye, Barty rebelling so hard against his father, his awful father that he ended up even worse. James was rubbing his back as they entered the room.
"Reg baby, Pandora is over there," he pointed. They went over to join her immediately.
"Oh Hi, Reg I haven't heard from you in a while. Is everything ok? I of course heard about Lily, James I am so sorry, I owled you both but I understand given the circumstances why
you couldn't reply." James looked as though he was about to break. Pandora gave a sympathetic smile, "How was the wedding," she changed the subject
"It was everything I ever hoped for, until it wasn't" Regulus murmured,
"Oh you poor things! You can come over anytime bring Harry to play with Luna, Xeno has her at the moment but come soon, I'm taking her to disneyland Xeno is obsessed with showing her sleeping beauty so I thought i'd take we'd been saving to take her on her first birthday but I'm going over with her myself earlier than planned with less money than planned because after this whole thing with Barty I just need to get away." she breathed, "Of course you both could come! I'm sure Harry would have a ball," Pandora sang. Regulus hesitated thats where they were supposed to take Atlantis,
"Owl me the details, I'd love to give Regulus a break away from it all too," James said softly, putting his arm around his husband. Regulus was grateful that James was thinking of giving him some time away from the horcrux hunt to just relax. He wanted to cry for the fact he'd be going with his son though. He put his head on James' shoulder and just closed his eyes while Pandora and James chatted.
"The judge is his father," James whispered,
"Fuck," Regulus breathed eyes still closed heart still sore.
"Alright James," growled the voice of Alastor Moody limping over to take his seat, "Regulus," he said with venom. Regulus sighed,
"Alright Moody," James said politely. They were in the order together but Moody seemed to still see Regulus as nothing more than death eater scum, he'd like to see Regulus on trial, Regulus knows that. Regulus began to feel sick with the fact there was no windows in this room,
"Jamie, I'm going to be sick," he said, coughing.
"Aww baby do you want me to take you to the toilet," James rubbed his back. Regulus threw his head into his hands, this couldn't be happening. Then all of a sudden James felt the atmosphere in the room change, he felt worse than before, he seen flashes of his sons blackened lips,
"Atlantis," Regulus breathed. When he looked up he wasn't surprised to see the dementors.
"What did you say baby?" James asked, Regulus ignored him. Six dementors placing four people in chains in the middle of the room. Regulus heard a woman start to wail; he looked over at Bartys mother crying; she was rocking and whimpering into her handkerchief. Something pulled at Regulus' heart, Barty's father started talking about why they were here.
"Father please," He heard Barty say nervously but his father just talked all over the top of him. James took Regulus' hand and started thumbing circles into it. Bartys father talked about what had happened to Frank, "Father I didn't" Barty cried. Regulus didn't know why
but he was crying too. He knew Barty had done it and he shouldn't feel pity but he couldn't help remembering back to when Barty was the boy massaging Regulus lower back when his bump started to form. The boy who held his hair back when he was being sick, the boy who ran all over the castle getting Regulus what he was craving that day. The boy who had kept the secret of his pregnancy so that word didn't get back to Walburga Black.
The boy who called him beautiful on the train the first day. The boy that when Regulus returned to school 6th year with a flat stomach instead of a heavily pregnant one like he should have had, that just let Regulus scream in his arms all night. How did he get here? Would he have even joined the death eaters if Regulus and Evan had not? What became of the three boys who thought they were bigger than the world.
"I didn't father don't send me back to the death eaters!" Barty begged. His father went on talking about Alice now while Barty cried out, "Mother! Mother stop him, I didn't do it it wasn't me," and just like that his father asked the jury to raise their hands if they thought they were all guilty. Regulus caught Barty's eye and he looked away immediately, after that he caught Bellatrix's eye who was in chains beside Barty accused of the same crime as he was guilty as well as he was. she sneered at him.
Bellatrix deserved to be locked away, he felt no sadness for her standing there, he only remembered her using 'crucio' on a sixteen year old Evan for trying to help Regulus who at not even sixteen had been cruico'd by her for refusing to burn Sirius and uncle Alphard off the tapestry in the end Regulus had to burn Sirius off to save Evan from further hurt. Regulus looked around the room, everyone looked satisfied that the four of them were to be sent away on what Barty's father had called for, which was a life sentence.
"Don't let him send me there," Barty begged his mother as the dementors glided back into the room. Then Bellatrix started giving a speech about how proud the dark lord will be and how they will be rewarded
"We alone were faithful," She said in Regulus' direction before returning to Barty Crouch sr and talking about how they alone tried to find Voldemort. One thing was for sure, Regulus was going to destroy every single last horcrux so the cunt couldn't come back.
Sirius
"Guilty" was all James said as he and Regulus came back to Sirius and Remus. Regulus looked lost in thought as he came through the door. Not speaking to anyone or saying anything, he put himself down on the sofa in the lobby. Sirius looked at Remus, the both of them sharing a look of no surprise. Harry sat babbling on the floor below them.
"Reg I'm so sorry…" Sirius trailed off.
"No you're not," he snapped at me, "I know the three of you expected him to be found guilty," He continued and swallowed back his sadness.
"Reg this isn't about-" Remus began and Regulus shot him a look that could kill.
"He was my friend… one of my best friends and now he's locked away in Azkaban forever, he meant so much to me and none of you will ever understand" Regulus stuttered in his words.
"Well Reg we hold each other pretty-" James began and Regulus cut him short with his eyes.
"None of you are going to prison forever" he said matter of fact.
Sirius felt his blood boil, of course he understood how his brother felt, that was his best friend but at the same time he had done what he did and needed to answer for it. Sirius wanted to scream and shake his brother but he thought now was not the time to do that. A big step for Sirius to admit such a thing.
"Harry had a great time at the park…" Sirius trailed off and the other three looked at him confused, "Hey it's not just you three that can be the voice of reason all the time. Sometimes I have to prove a bit that I have grown past the age of thirteen," He smirked. This got a laugh out of everyone and the tension in the room seemed to ease. Regulus still looked like he was on the verge of crying and the mention of Harry at the park didn't seem to help that as he rubbed his tummy.
"Yeah Sirius took him down the slide and on the swings… maybe a little too high on the swings than would be expected for a one year old but you know he laughed all the same," Remus jumped in understanding what Sirius was doing.
"Harry or Sirius?" Regulus questioned with a sniff.
"Both" Remus answered back with a laugh.
"Hey wait a minute !" Sirius interjected as Regulus gave out a rough laugh.
"Sirius, are you getting cranky because you missed your nap time?" James questioned in a baby voice.
"Piss off," Sirius scoffed at him, his smile underlying in his tone.
"Harry built a sandcastle in the sand pit as well," Sirius smiled, "and I helped of course," He continued.
"That was until he had necked a bottle of wine while in the bathrooms and then fell head first into said sandcastle obviously," Remus laughed, Sirius shot him an angry look.
"It's been a stressful day for everyone," Sirius muttered.
"I think I got the rough end of today… I mean how many nappies did you change?" Remus questioned with amusement.
"Now, now, now Remus…" Sirius trailed off, "A man like myself can't be dealing with poop. I am the entertainment, Sirius smirked.
"Wait, wine?" James asked concerned and Regulus rolled his eyes.
"I think we should all go for a drink while we can… I mean it's early enough we can put baby Harry in a highchair and just relax in the bar," Sirius announced over the top of James. Regulus scoffed in the corner. Sirius really did just want to take Regulus' mind off the events of today. James looked at his two friends and shook his head.
"I think we should head to the room, you know get these two relaxed after today and Harry is due a nap and feeding now as well," James answered. Sirius and Remus had gotten a separate room this time because Sirius had missed the alone time with Remus and truly nothing took the fire out of wanting to be naked like having a baby crying through the night. Sirius reluctantly agrees, anytime people are in enclosed spaces with tension was never any good, but Remus had gotten Sirius and himself a bottle of wine to take to James room, so of course Sirius followed.
Once in the room James changed Harry and gave him his bottle and then Harry sat in James' lap as they all watched Looney Tunes. Sirius had watched this show before, with James and Remus and honestly it was one of his favourites. Watching the little animal people getting out of a crazy situation made Sirius' blood bubble with excitement.
"Come on Bugs you're smarter than that!" Sirius shouted at the TV.
"Sirius … Harry!" Remus snapped and Sirius slapped his hand over his mouth.
"And Reg.." James trailed off. Sirius looked behind him and Regulus was curled up in James' arm. Hold James like he may disappear before he can open his eyes. Regulus looked so comfortable and at ease while with James. Sirius felt horrible for how he had reacted in the past when it came to the two of them. He truly couldn't get rid of the guilt for getting in between the both of them and making such a big fuss about it. If there was anyone Sirius would have wished his brother had ended up with clearly James was the Merlin send that he would expect.
Sirius hadn't realised how quick he was going through his wine until he looked from James to his brother and tried to take a drink for his now empty plastic cup.
"Fuck Remus we are running low I think," Sirius laughed. James rolled his eyes.
"It's ok not to be drunk sometimes, Padfoot," James answered.
"No, no my man my sober mind is something I would never put on you and therefore by the rule of self-care I should also not have to subject myself to it," Sirius smirked. James and Remus looked concerned with the words that came out Sirius' mouth but Sirius just scoffed.
"SirIus I think maybe you need to go to bed," James laughed.
"I think Jamesy my man you have got pretty fucking boring since you got married for the second time might I add and had your first baby …" Sirius laughed and the room went dead silent. Harry looked at Sirius and suddenly Sirius felt his blood run cold, "I'm sorry I shouldn't…" Sirius trailed off and James shook his head.
"I know you didn't mean anything by it" James answered.
"But I shouldn't … I mean -" Sirius began and James' eyes snapped to him.
"Don't mention … please there was enough sadness today," James snapped and Sirius automatically wanted to bite back but stopped himself.
"I'm gonna take a slash," Sirius pasted a smile on his face and the other two nodded.
While Sirius was in the bathroom he cursed himself for the slip of what he said. It wasn't regular for Sirius to feel like he said something he shouldn't but at this time he did and he knew. Once Sirius had finished going to the toilet he turned to wash his hands in the sink, but he could hear Remus and James in the room next to him.
"How did we pull them two they are so beautiful," Sirius heard Remus say and me smiled to himself.
"The black brothers! I still can't believe we pulled the Black brothers," James had answered him. Sirius could feel himself blushing in the bathroom, he chuckled to himself and splashed some water on to his face to hide the blush before he re-emerged from the room.
They watched maybe two more cartoons before Sirius had decided he had grown bored of watching them, Harry had fallen asleep, Regulus had fallen asleep and James really, while Sirius looked at him, was moments away from falling asleep himself.
"Remus and I are gonna head to the bar mate yeah?" Sirius asked. James nodded sleepy as he listened, "You stay here with Harry and Reg, make sure they are ok," Sirius continued as Remus took Harry from James lap and gently placed him in the travel cot so as not to wake him. James nodded and smiled lazily. Quietly Remus and Sirius made their way down to the bar downstairs.
Once down the bar Sirius ordered the both of the rum with a fizzy grape juice to mix with. The both of them sat opposite each other as they tried the drink.
"I first ordered this at their wedding, you know," Sirius said suddenly.
"I know Sirius, I was there," Remus laughed.
"That should have been a perfect day for them.." Sirius trailed off and Remus huffed out a breath.
"Yeah… but who could have known?" Remus questioned.
"Voldemort did" Sirius Spat.
"Well do you think he knew it was their wedding to do that today?" Remus asked.
"Probably I don't know…" Sirius trailed off again, "clearly Reg stayed close with some of them so maybe-" Sirius began but Remus cut him off.
"Regulus would never have risked giving out that information to anyone!" Remus said matter of fact Sirius sighed.
"I know… I just … It should have been perfect for him; he deserved that after everything," Sirius shakes his head in sadness.
"I know" Remus says, reaching out a hand and squeezing Sirius'.
"I mean don't get me wrong I'm just as devastated by Lily being murdered, honestly heat broken she never deserved that. As we all are but on the night of Reg's wedding night?" Sirius asked more to himself than anyone else.
"No one-" Remus began but closed his mouth when he realised Sirius wasn't finished speaking.
"We know Reg already feels like he's second best to her… he hasn't been! James done everything to try and prove Lily was just... she was just a moment, but Regulus he is James everything , even when it made us angry and mad at him and he wouldn't have ever done that for her. James was trying to protect him and respect him wishes and what Regulus wanted and needed at that time, FUCK he even tried to save him before he took that mark - it was always Regulus and James always tries to show him he isn't after all time …. But he should have been able to enjoy his wedding night… I will kill Voldemort myself just for that … it's gonna stick with me forever Remus… I wish there was a way I could make everything perfect for him and I can't" Sirius rushed out the words, He could feel the emotion crawling up his throat as he spoke and he wanted to shake it off, it made him feel weak and lost and like he couldn't be the big brother Regulus deserved. Remus must have felt the energy change in the room cause he quickly spoke.
"Hey, remember our first kiss?" He asked with a glint in his eyes. Sirius was trying to engage in the conversation with his boyfriend by nodding at him.
"New Years Eve Nine-Teen Seventy- Six I would never forget my moon," Sirius smirked.
"That midnight kiss.." Remus trailed off.
"Where it all began…" Sirius smirked.
"It was your idea!" Remus said in an amused tone.
"Yeah cause I wanted to snog you face off obviously!" Sirius said defensively.
"You pulled away," Remus laughed.
"Only because …" Sirius stopped, "I didn't want to pull away you know" Sirius continued and Remus blushed, "I wanted more that night, I wanted that kiss to be the beginning to our love story," Sirius said softly looking at his boyfriend. Remus smiled at him.
"I know exactly how you felt … the taste of your lips that night never left me… even now while we are together I savour everyone," Remus bit his bottom lip.
"In a way it was?" Sirius questioned and Remus nodded gently. Remus and Sirius stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Sirius just wanted to take him then and there but Remus clearly had other ideas as he waved the bartender for another drink.
"It was hard when I didn't know if you were you know…." Remus trailed off.
"Gay?' Sirius questioned.
"Yeah…. I mean it must have been hard for all of us… realising that we didn't fit the 'mould' of society '' Remus continued with air quotes, "Like finding out you liked guys," he laughed and Sirius looked at him confused.
"I always knew it was you Remus… like forever I knew it was you even if I didn't show it," Sirius answered.
"I didn't." Remus said plainly, "I didn't know how I was feeling, was I broke or made a mistake like why was I in love with my best friend," Remus continued.
"Because we belong together!" Sirius said defensively.
"I know that now Sirius," Lupin laughed, "But at the start I didn't know…" Lupin trailed off.
"If you were something your parents would hate?" Sirius asked and Remus nodded.
"The older I got and came more to terms with who I was I realised I wasn't ' made wrong' or I wasn't ' bad' or anything like that I was just me and I loved me for who I was… well bar the werewolf thing," Remus laughed and Sirius smiled, "I thought as time passed people would be more accepting of LGBTQ but that hasn't quite worked out," Remus laughed sadly again.
"They will in time Remus, people are ass-hole they think only about what makes the uncomfortable and if it doesn't in with what they see as 'proper' it makes them uncomfortable and it doesn't make them right to feel that way… definitely not it makes them cunts if I can be crude… they are stuck in a time where people are told what they want, need and crave and we… we are free to know the difference between what we are told and what we want!" Sirius said, his chest full and confident as he spoke, "It must be sad to live a life by someone else's idea and honestly I don't envy those people at all… I would rather have people look down on me for who I truly am rather than have them lift me up for being someone they want me to be," Sirius finished and he could have sworn he saw a tear come from Remus eye.
"Says the guy that used to get fussy and angry when I kissed him on the cheek in school," Remus laughed.
"I was fussy cause you would take the hint and kiss me on the mouth," Sirius smirked.
"Sure…" Remus trailed off, "If that helps you sleep at night," he laughed as they finished off their second drinks. Sirius snapped his fingers and the barman glared at him to which Sirius gave him the finger.
"IF YOU WANT TO BE PAID WE WANT ANOTHER!" Sirius screamed and Remus grabbed him by the arm.
"Relax Sirius," he tried to stifle a laugh as the barman scoffed and began making their third drink. The barman appeared and continued to glare at Sirius as he placed the drinks down on the table. Sirius gave him a quick wink of his eye before the man disappeared again.
"Uncle Alphard would have loved to be here for Reg you know…" Sirius said suddenly.
"Yeah?" Remus asked while drinking his drink.
"Yeah he always said he wanted to see us both be married off…" Sirius laughed, "I remember the day he caught us playing dolls… of course that wasn't my choice, Narcissa had left them behind in our house and we wanted to play," Sirius played, "I was playing a hero and Regulus was playing a wizard that gave the hero all his magic powers to defeat the evil spirit… We were saving a doll. Remus and Alphard caught us and sat down with us and played the bad guy… he never could have been the bad guy even if he tried." Sirius downed his drink, "But I was so scared he'd tell mother but he promised he wouldn't and he played with dolls with us for hours, he was our babysitter you know? And he just played with us and then when mother and father came home and we had forgotten to put the dolls away, Alphard had lied and said he had tripped over the box they were held in and just simply forgot to pick them back up…" Sirius trailed off, "Mother had used the Cruciatus curse on him and still he said he tripped and forgot to pick them up," Sirius shook his head, "He was the best of the best," He half smiled and Remus petted his hand.
"That must have been-" Remus had started but Sirius had cut him off.
"Now it'll be only three years until Andy's daughter is in Hogwarts tho" Sirius said quickly. Remus looked at him confused.
"Sirius you're jumping through a lot of subjects at the moment. I don't know which one-" Remus tried to finish but Sirius shook his head.
"Remus I just need to distract myself… I just need to talk… I don't need you to speak or answer, just listen, all these thoughts in my head are making me feel like I could explode at any moment and I just need to get them out of my mind," Sirius cut in and Remus closed his mouth again nodding his head.
"Time moves so quickly for her she'll be sorted too …" Sirius stopped and gulped down his drink, looking at Remus the tears running down his face and Lupin reached across the table and placed his hand on Sirius's shoulder.
"I know my love…. " Lupin soothed. Sirius sniffed loudly and tried to shake his head but Remus stopped him, "Talk Sirius Please" He said firmly.
"Fuck sake Moony why do you always have to be the voice of fucking reason?" Sirius questioned in a hateful tone, but Remus remained set in his stare."that's enough of this sad shit for tonight," Sirius sniffed, "We have a room to ourselves tonight let's make use of it yeah?" He smirked and Lupin looked at him concerned but Sirius grabbed him by the hand and pulled him past the bar as he threw the money on top of it, dragging his boyfriend up the stairs to their room.
—--
As soon as Sirius and Remus were in the room, Sirius pushed Remus against the wall. His lips were hard and violent as they met his boyfriend. Sirius just needed to feel something else, something loving right now. Remus welcomed his lips as they landed on the bed together. Sirius let out a little moan as he felt himself getting hard from the thought of having his boyfriend under him.
"I want you in me" Sirius demands between breaths and Remus groans, thrusting up to signal he understands. Sirius placed kisses all over his face. His hands travelled all over Remus as he tried to pull off all his clothes in one movement.
"Sirius…" Remus breathed, "Are … you sure?" Remus questioned to which Sirius answered by exploring Remus' mouth with his tongue.
"I want nothing more than this right now," Sirius breathed back and, almost on cue, Remus flipped Sirius over and began pulling his clothes off him. Sirius reached down and touched himself as he watched his boyfriend pull off his shirt and stare down at him like a starving dog. Sirius smirked at him as he licked his lips.
"I'm going to take you Sirius," Remus growled and Sirius felt his body tingle.
"Please that's all I ask," Sirius moaned as he continued to play with himself, staring at Remus' hard penis as it twitched waiting for entrance to Sirius. The next thing Sirius felt was rough kisses to his check, Remus sucking hard as he placed himself inside Sirius, Sirius moaned loudly. His nails digging deeply into Remus back, "Aww fuck Remus," Sirius moaned out loudly continuing to play with himself.
"I want you to cum for me Sirius… I need you to cum for me," Remus cooed as he ran his hand all over Sirius' body. Sirius shivered against his touch. It hadn't been too long since the last time they had had sex but this seemed new, it always did when they were together like this.
"Fuck me Moony," Sirius moaned loudly, the bed was shaking as the Remus took up speed, going harder. Sirius thought he was going to burst with pleasure as he felt himself building up to his climax.
"Aww Sirius…." Remus moaned out.
"Remus please Harder…" Sirius answered and Remus did as he was told. His pace quickling and his force harder both men breathed heavily, this was perfect, this was what Sirius needed, he needed to fucked hard to forget and as Sirius dug his nails of his free hand into Remus' back once more both of them exploded together. Breathing heavily and irracted as Remus dropped himself to lay on Sirius, who was finding it had to catch his breath. The both of them lay trying to regulate their breathing as their bodies twitched. Sirius felt like he was in heaven.
—--
Once Sirius had come round and got his head back to normal he rolled over to grab a Cigarette.
"Give me one of them?" Remus asked and Sirius grunted.
"Yeah of course my love," he answered, handing the smoke over his shoulder, his eyes not leaving the calendar on the wall. It was the 8th of November. Three days before the full moon. Sirius turns to face Remus who is smoking, still out of breath on the bed with a smile, and he thanks Remus mentally for how strong he is during this time for Sirius, because surely he must be feeling weak, but even during this Remus is choosing not to show it, "I love you Remus," Sirius smiles as he curls up next to him. Remus wraps his arm around Sirius.
"I love you too Padfoot," He sighs out, blowing smoke around the two of them.