"I'm beat," Joel sighed, carrying a steaming kettle to the table, and two cups. "One thing about pit work, it pays good, fucks with your head, and makes you smell like shit for days. Dream job."

Tess raised her eyebrows and tilted her head to one side. "True, but the money talks, and not everyone's cut out for the job so minimal competition. So, do you have a run tonight?" Tess sat at the small table, and wrapped her hands around the cup Joel pushed toward her, steaming and warm. She took a sip and grimaced. "Soup is shit, by the way."

Joel nodded, sitting down across from her, and looking into his own cup. "Thanks, made it myself. Yeah, I got a run, meeting a contact on the east wall of the city, shipment of oxys, and a crate of rifles. Been planning it for three weeks. Got a buyer in the slums willing to pay decent cards for it. Supposed to be cloudy tonight, might even rain, so should be easy cover."

Tess nodded absently, nose wrinkling as she continued sipping her tea. Joel ran his thumb across the rim of his cup for a moment, studying her. "You got a run?"

"In a couple hours," she answered dryly. "Man on this side, his wife and two kids, a boy and a girl, are on the outskirts. I am bringing them in through the south tunnels. Got food to them last night, holed them up in an old rail car so nothing could get to them. Bringing them across about midnight when the soldiers will be busy up on the north side checking the gates. Pays good, he's pretty desperate to get them in."

"Sounds like a good job," Joel rumbled, pouring more soup into his cup. "How much is he payin'..."

"Ninety five, for safe transit of all three," she replied flatly. Joel nearly choked on his soup.

"For transport of three people through the wall? Are you fucking kidding me right now? He should be giving you at least 150, and with two kids, 185 would be an easy charge to ask for. Ninety five is a rip off and you know it. That's the riskiest thing you could even be doing out there, especially with two damn kids."

"Yeah, well, consider me a softie, I guess." she snorted, standing and downing the last of her soup. "He just wants his kids, Joel. Out of all the shit I do, I just wanted to do one good thing, you know."

"Yeah, and I want a million dollars, but we don't always get what we want. Tess, this isn't time to have feelings. You need to renegotiate." His eyebrows were raised in a no-nonsense dramatic fashion, and Tess sighed.

"Joel, it's not up for discussion. He works the pit just like we do. You know that doesn't pay much. He has a sister and her two kids, that he takes care of and they rent a room over in the district. He doesn't have a lot of cards to throw around, and he just wants this one last run. I got his sister in, and he trusts me to get the others in."

"Well, he should work other jobs and make more cards if he wants that kind of work done." Joel set his cup down loudly on the table. "You risking life and limb to do his job seems like it would be worth a hefty price to him. Dammit, that's it. I'm goin' with you."

"Like hell you are not," Tess exclaimed, grabbing her jacket off it's hook and pulling it on. "Joel, those oxys and rifles will bring back at least 200 cards. You can't skip out on a deal that, that's major bargaining power right there. And you'll lose face with the buyers and the sellers and that's a hot commodity right now. You can't fucking lose that edge over the other smugglers. Reputation talks."

"And I can't lose you on a fucking kamikaze run that some dipshit isn't willing to pay fucking decent cards for! You're life's worth more than 95 cards, especially with two unpredictable kids in tow. What happens if an infected shows up, huh? They start screaming and you are all fucking dead. What the infected doesn't kill, the patrols will."

The room fell silent for a moment, as Tess and Joel looked at each other, Joel's outburst still ringing in the small room.

"Sorry," he finally muttered, gaze dropping and picking up the kettle in one hand and the handles of their two cups in the other.

"Don't be," she replied softly, as he passed her, and she laid a hand on his shoulder. "Joel -"

He stopped, giving her that hardened, expressionless look that he carried almost all the time. The vulnerability that had been in his eyes was gone, and he was all tough smuggler now.

"Don't make me regret stepping in yesterday," he finished. "And don't get yourself fucking killed." The gentle things she had wanted to say to him ran fleeing from her lips. It just didn't work to be sentimental in this crazy world. Sure, he had stepped in and saved her from getting beat up yesterday, the bruised lip a sure sign of that. They had slept in the same bed, tossing one arm across each other in the night, both for comfort and simply just because. But that meant nothing. Sure, they had agreed to an alliance, but that was going to take time to implement. How did one go from watching their back and trying not to get killed, to suddenly having someone to rely on, someone to go to and vent about the fucking unfairness of it all.

It wasn't an easy switch to make, and both of them still had their guard up.

It was going to take more than a damn alliance and Tess's fucked up lip to break that.

"I'm going out," she said, more to gauge his approval than his permission. "Got to check out the action over by the tunnels, see if there are any soldiers posted, and go over the path back in again before its time, just in case I need to make changes."

He nodded, back to her, silent as he rinsed the dishes in the sink. "Well, see you later then," she muttered, opening the door and shutting it firmly behind her.

"Don't fucking care, Tess," she murmured to herself. "Caring get's you killed."

He sat on the couch, elbows on his knees, rubbing at his bruised knuckles. His hair was damp, from the torrential downpour outside, and the lights were off in the small room. Only the glow of a streetlight lit the small space enough to see that Joel was staring at the floor, on edge, waiting.

Footsteps could be heard in the hall, and immediately he stood, flipping on the light. His hand went to the pistol at his side, as the door creaked open. "Tess?"

She stepped into the room, a slight limp giving away immediately that she was not okay. "Tess?" he asked again, moving toward her, face lined with concern. She was soaking wet and blood streaked across her clothing and her face, and he took a step back, one hand wandering to the gun again.

"I'm not infected," she murmured, stumbling, shutting the door behind her. "Bit of a knock to the head, but not bit."

He looked her over, keen eyes taking in the bruised jaw, the muscles in his neck flexing. "What happened."

She sighed, dropping her backpack to the floor, and pulling off her jacket slowly and painfully. His eyes raked over her body again, looking for any sign of a bite. She knew that, and while his examination might have made her uncomfortable any other time, she understood it, and gave him the space he needed. "Every fucking thing happened," she grunted angrily, sinking down to the floor, arms across her knees, and letting her head drop to rest on her arms. "Every. Fucking. Thing."

Joel swallowed hard and walked over to her, slowly, calculated, and knelt a few feet away. "You're not bit."

"No," she insisted, raising her head to look at him. "You would think I would be the first to fucking know that. If I was, I wouldn't have come back here."

He nodded once, still not trusting her, but he had lived long enough to understand people's body language, and all he could see from the way Tess was sitting was that she was in pain and injured.

"Let me see," he grunted, reaching a hand to cup her chin and lift it slightly to get a better view. Her already battered face was beat up again, dark bruising building around her left eye socket. There were finger sized bruises around her neck, her shirt was streaked with blood and scattered tears. She had been in a fight, that was sure. "What the hell happened to you," he asked softly, gently palpating the swelling around her jaw.

"Before you go all medical doctor on me, Joel, would you mind terribly much if I take a fucking shower first? This isn't all my blood and I would like to get it off."

He studied her weary, shadowed eyes for a moment and nodded. "Fine." He got to his feet, wincing at his creaking knees, and held out a hand to help her up, but she waved him away, so he ambled toward the kitchen. "I'll make some tea, if you want any."

"You have tea?" she grunted, her voice slightly cheered. "That would be fucking nice. Get it tonight?"

He smirked. "Client wanted to pay 190 for the job. I told him I agreed to 200 or else, and he decided to get all freaky and pull out a gun. Had to talk him out of his damn stupidity. Once he decided that a gun wasn't going to solve his problems, I got my 200, and I took his case of tea in payment for nearly fucking up the whole damn thing. He wasn't too thrilled, but he got his guns, and his life, so I told him he got the better end of that deal."

Tess's eyebrows raised slightly. "Yours went better than mine."

"Appears that way," he grunted, as she disappeared in the back room where the shower was. "Don't be long, tea's no good cold."

She did not respond, and he set about getting the tea on the table, slightly proud of the fact that he had something nice to offer her. It had only been 36 hours since he had taken her in, but already he was feeling like maybe this was how it should have been.

It wasn't good for a person to be alone, and this alliance thing was pretty great, he had to admit. He wanted no favors from her, and she asked for none in return. Just two people trying to live life as best as they could until they died in this crazy, messed up world.

She meandered out of the bathroom a few minutes later, wearing one of his flannel shirts, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. The bruising was more evident now, in the light, now that the grime was gone. Joel winced.

"You look like shit."

"Thanks," she sighed, dropping into her seat. "It's the new hot look in all the magazines. Everyone's doing it nowadays."

His lip quirked upwards at her attempt at humor and he shook his head. "There's better things to do than be in style, Tess. It's not a good look for you."

Her eyebrows rose in agreement for a moment, then furrowed as she wrapped her hands around her cup of tea, knuckles bruised and raw. She sipped the tea appreciatively, eyes closing softly. "Shit, that's good."

He nodded. "Made it myself. So, come on, spill. What happened?"

"Don't really want to talk about it," she muttered, not meeting his eyes.

Joel crossed his arms. "So here's how this whole alliance is going to work. We are a team. So either you tell me what happened or I go asking questions. I have ways of finding out what I want to know, and you know I will do it."

"Joel," she exclaimed, finally looking up at him. "I am asking you to stay the fuck out of this."

"Your face is beaten to a pulp, within an inch of a concussion, if you don't already have one, and I am just supposed to turn a blind eye to that?" Joel scoffed. "Stay the fuck out...like hell. Now, talk."

"It all went fucking wrong, Joel," she nearly shouted at him. "What more do you want me to say? It all went fucking to shit."

Joel gave her a second to calm down, then steepled his fingers on the table, leaning forward on his elbows. "Go. From the beginning."

She shook her head and dropped her gaze to the cup of steaming liquid. "I snuck out like we had planned, past the wall. She was supposed to be there with the kids. I had them in a safe place, and they foolishly must have left the railcar to come and wait for me, or something, I don' know. Anyhow, it was against my direct orders. I had hoped that they would still be alright. But an infected must have found them first. I can't protect people if they won't fucking listen."

The lines around Joel's eyes softened at the look of sadness that crossed her face. "Shit," he muttered.

"Yeah. The mom was already completely turned, and had killed one of the kids. The other one, the little girl, was barely turned and she came at me, and I - I had to shoot her."

Joel's body had gone rigid, barely breathing at this admission, and he frowned, remembering yesterday's fight and her confession about her son. There was no compassion in his heart, he had seen too much fucked up shit for that to still be lingering, so what ran through his head was merely a passing thought that Tess was not going to be okay for a long time. "How old?"

"Ten." She breathed in heavily through her nose and closed her eyes. "Then their mom came at me. I swear, Joel, there was a sadness in what was left of her face, like she knew what was happening. It was horrible. I - I shot her too. Then I - I had to come back through the wall alone and tell him what had happened, and he did - all of this." She waved in the general direction of her face, looking away from him. Joel straightened, face immediately going hard and angry again.

"Name. I want a name."

She shook her head. "Stand down, Joel. It's okay. He's dead too."

Joel's eyes narrowed in confusion. "D'you kill him?"

"No," she replied, sighing. "Killed everyone else except him. He forced me take him back there so he could see them for himself. Wouldn't believe me, thought I was just reneging on the job. So I took him back on the other side of the wall, and he saw them, and just lost his fucking mind. Started ranting and raving like a lunatic, and shot himself in the head."

Joel winced at this statement, looking away, trying to control his breathing.

He knew what that felt like.

"I failed him, Joel."

He snapped his head around to glare at her. "You did no such thing."

"Yeah," she sighed, pressing her hands together, fingers worrying at her bruised knuckles. "I should have brought them in last night. Shouldn't have waited."

"You were almost killed yesterday," Joel reminded her. "You were in no shape to travel. Give yourself some slack. And you didn't infect them, that's certainly not on you. And that man, he should never have touched you, no matter what happened."

"He was brokenhearted, Joel," she replied wearily. "I would have done the same thing if it had been my son, or you."

She froze after the words left her mouth, and focused her eyes on the steam still drifting from her cup, unable to meet his gaze that was burning into her from his side of the table. When exactly had she started caring?

"Look at me," he rumbled, his tone a clear command. She let her gaze drift upwards, gazing at the glittering eyes that stared back at her. "You don't ever blame yourself for something that isn't your fault like that. It'll eat you alive. And don't you ever risk your life over me."

"I just wanted to do something good for once," she whispered, rubbing a hand across her face.

Joel sighed, pursing his lips in thought. "Survival is the name of the game, Tess, not feelings."

She nodded halfheartedly. "Yeah well, if it's all the same to you, Joel, I feel like shit and I am going to bed now. Everything hurts and I would like to pass out so I can stop seeing that little girl's head getting blown off."

He nodded. "Alright."

She wordlessly left the table, and slowly dragged her feet to the bed, where she fell down on top of the covers, letting her eyes fall shut in a pained, exhausted sleep. She wasn't sure when he finally came to bed, but she woke slightly, hours later to a protective arm across her shoulders. His breath drifted softly across the back of her neck, and she sighed.

It was a fucked up world, and it wasn't getting any better.

Except this.

This was better.

This was better than better.

This was belonging.

And she hadn't belonged in a very, very long time.