Thank You, Heavenly
Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day
SEASON 9
EPISODE 8
Air Date: April 30, 2023
"Wade the Wunderkind"
Special Guest Stars: Mo'Nique as Ms. Garibaldi, Sadie Stanley as Esther
#TYH908
SCENE 1
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Interior Ms. Garibaldi's Classroom
Seattle, Washington
Wade talks to one of his classmates while Ms. Garibaldi speaks.
WADE: No, see, because the technology is years away. But when it comes out, it's going to change everything.
KENNY: How come everybody in California gets the good stuff? Why can't we build computers?
WADE: California's going through a lot right now, maybe they need the technology.
MS. GARIBALDI: Wade, Kenny. You guys know I'm talking, right?
WADE: Sorry, Ms. Garibaldi.
MS. GARIBALDI: Really? If you are, you could let me know who's face is on the projector right now.
WADE: Um...some Italian guy?
MS. GARIBALDI: Great, you have his origin story. It's Pavarotti, Wade. Luciano Pavarotti, one of the greatest operatic tenors of all-time.
WADE: That's really interesting to know.
KENNY: It is. Ms. Garibaldi, is Pavarotti still alive?
MS. GARIBALDI: He died in 2007.
KENNY: I'm going to forget all my other questions.
The bell rings.
MS. GARIBALDI: That's it. Remember that your reports on Pavarotti are due tomorrow.
WADE: Report? Oh, man, I haven't even started yet.
KENNY: So? You could write that paper in your sleep.
WADE: Not really. I don't get music class.
SCENE 2
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Wade and Kenny walk out of the class.
WADE: Ever since the semester started, it's been killing me. I already handed in the last assignment late. And I can't half-ass this one.
KENNY: I think Ms. Garibaldi will understand. If she wasn't raised by Satan.
WADE: Yeah, no kidding. I'm just going to have to ask her for an extension. It will give me more time to do research.
KENNY: Well, I'm just giving her what I have. If it's incomplete, she's going to have to live with that.
WADE: You don't think you're playing a dangerous game there?
KENNY: I don't think so. She should at least appreciate me for trying. It's what the other teachers do.
WADE: Sure. Well, I'll see you later. My friends are coming to pick me up and take a tour of the school.
KENNY: Oh yeah, we'll meet up later.
Wade and Kenny dap each other up and Kenny leaves.
SCENE 3
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
Wade and Buster sit on the steps of FDA VIII as Buster flips through Wade's music history book.
BUSTER: Hey, I know this guy. Paparazzi, right?
WADE: No, Pavarotti. Luciano Pavarotti. One of the greatest operatic tenors of all-time.
BUSTER: Oh, he's a singer? He reminds me of Adele. You know, in her early days.
WADE: You mean, their music?
BUSTER: No, the look. Sometimes, when you sing, you have to sing from the gut. Have that chunk. That's what Adele used to have.
WADE: Okay.
Sparky, RK, and Jaylynn walk downstairs.
SPARKY: Hey Wade, some of these kids went to Ghana?
WADE: Yeah, the seventh and eighth graders. Every year, they plan this crazy international trip. I think they're going to Germany this year.
JAYLYNN: Shit, I gotta transfer so I can go to Japan. I always thought they would love me over there.
BUSTER: Wade's showing me some old guys from his textbook.
RK: Doesn't every textbook have a bunch of old, ugly guys with nasty horse teeth?
WADE: Only some people have that in this book. It's for my music appreciation class.
SPARKY: We don't have a music class at our school.
BUSTER: The eighth graders have one.
SPARKY: Yeah, playing "Hot Cross Buns" on the recorder doesn't count as a music class.
WADE: The only thing that sucks about this class is we're not talking about legends I would be into. You know, Thelonious Monk, Muddy Waters, those guys.
BUSTER: I hear ya, Wade. If I was running a music class, I would teach kids about the real artists making real music. Not the Mozart, Beethoven people, I'm talking Taylor Swift, Harry Styles. Our future is in their hands.
RK: That sounds like a future where we're all dead and robots are feasting on our corpses.
BUSTER: You're so negative today. Have a Snickers, you'll be okay.
SCENE 4
The Westboro Complex
Interior Lobby
Seattle, Washington
Later that day, Buster looks through his designated mail slot.
BUSTER: Wow, these really piled up. "First notice: Your bill is overdue. Pay up." "Second notice: Your account is headed for cancellation. Pay us right now." "Third notice: This isn't a game, you think we're playing with you? If you don't pay what you owe, we're coming to your house and choking you with your own belt." "Fourth notice: We're sorry, we've been drinking a lot lately. Just pay us whenever you can, please?" Maybe I should call them and see if they're okay.
ESTHER (O.S.): Hey, do you know if my package came yet?
BUSTER: What the...
Buster sees Esther talking to someone. He gasps and runs out of the complex.
SCENE 5
The Westboro Complex
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
Buster breathes heavily as he stands near the entrance.
BUSTER: What the hell? Esther?! I thought she moved months ago! Wait a minute, she did move. I can't believe this, I gotta...gotta do something, I don't know, but I have to do something that only I know how to do.
Buster sighs, does a squat, then walks back into the complex.
SCENE 6
The Westboro Complex
Interior Lobby
Seattle, Washington
Buster sees Esther checking her mail. He pauses, then walks up to Esther until he is noticeably close to her.
BUSTER: Hey Esther, what's the haps?
ESTHER: Hey...Buster, why are you so close? Oh my God, the closeness.
BUSTER: Sorry. How have you been?
ESTHER: Pretty much the same. You know, writing, swimming on the weekends, not talking to kids who take advantage of me.
BUSTER: Yeah, I hate those kids, too. We should do something about it together.
ESTHER: You're one of those kids! You and Jaylynn, that was the implication!
BUSTER: Right. I didn't pick up on that at all.
ESTHER: I bet. Look, I don't mean to be rude, but why are you talking to me?
BUSTER: Because we live in the same building. And we used to have fun before all that stuff happened.
ESTHER: I was having fun, too. But you didn't want to be my friend, you were competing with Jaylynn to date me.
BUSTER: Is that so wrong? Having a crush? I can't have feelings for a girl?
ESTHER: Don't be cute, you know what I'm talking about. And you lied about your age, bro!
BUSTER: It was only to make me look like a big man.
ESTHER: Whatever. I appreciate the talk, but I haven't seen you in months. We should just keep it that way.
Esther shakes her head and leaves with her mail. Buster lightly kicks the floor while his hands are in his pockets.
BUSTER: I don't like my life sometimes.
SCENE 7
Craig Bartlett Junior High School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
The next day, Buster talks to Jaylynn by the lockers.
BUSTER: Now, she doesn't want anything to do with me.
JAYLYNN: Didn't she want nothing to do with you before?
BUSTER: Yeah, but that was a long time ago. I thought things would be okay, but her lips said they're not.
JAYLYNN: If Esther's still holding a grudge against us, that's her problem, not ours.
BUSTER: But Jaylynn, you don't understand, she's a tenant. If I saw her yesterday, I'm just going to see her again.
JAYLYNN: So, what do you want to do? Apologize and get told to leave her alone?
BUSTER: It's worth a shot. Who doesn't like being left alone?
JAYLYNN: I'm just saying, maybe if you tried to avoid her, you could-
Jaylynn's eyes widen as she sees Esther talk to her friends a few feet away.
BUSTER: What? Jaylynn, what?
JAYLYNN: She's here, we need to run. Run fast!
Buster and Jaylynn run away as some kids watch them. Esther briefly looks over from confusion, but shakes her head and continues talking to her friends.
SCENE 8
Craig Bartlett Junior High School
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
Buster and Jaylynn run out of the school.
JAYLYNN: What the hell is she doing in our school?! She's stalking you?!
BUSTER: Oh no, I remembered. She was going to this school last year, she's in eighth grade now!
JAYLYNN: So, we go to the same school as her? We're dead. She's going to kill us dead.
BUSTER: What are you talking about?
JAYLYNN: Esther forgot about what happened until she saw you. She's probably going to tell all of her little eighth grade friends what we did, and we'll be outcasts until we graduate.
BUSTER: Then how do we fix this? I make her sick, I can't get through to her.
JAYLYNN: I'll talk to her. Sometimes, you need a girl to make another girl come in. Then we're square, and we'll never have to talk again.
BUSTER: Good idea.
Beat.
JAYLYNN: Wait, why are we still here?
BUSTER: I don't know, let's go back inside before the faculty kills us.
Buster and Jaylynn walk back inside.
SCENE 9
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Wade sits on the floor up against the wall and reads through his music history book, specifically the section about Pavarotti. He looks bored as he flips through the pages, but before he starts to sleep, Kenny walks up to him.
KENNY: Wade?
WADE: Oh. Hey Kenny, what's up?
KENNY: You were this close to sleeping on the floor.
WADE: Well, thank God you're the only one that noticed. It's the Pavarotti report. I still haven't finished it yet.
KENNY: You're serious? That doesn't sound like you.
WADE: Of course, it doesn't. But what am I supposed to do? This unit sucks. The last time I stepped foot in an opera voluntarily was on a field trip, and I wanted to staple my ears shut.
KENNY: Well, don't worry about it. We'll get through the next few weeks and then we can talk about some other old musicians.
WADE: True. I just hope Ms. Garibaldi gives me the extension.
SCENE 10
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Interior Ms. Garibaldi's Classroom
Seattle, Washington
MS. GARIBALDI: And that's why the soprano is a three-lined octave.
The bell rings.
MS. GARIBALDI (CONT.): Class dismissed. Wade, stay behind. We need to talk.
KENNY: Good luck, man.
WADE: Thanks.
Wade takes his backpack and walks up to Ms. Garibaldi's desk.
WADE (CONT.): You wanted me to stay behind?
MS. GARIBALDI: What was your first clue? Wade, I'm concerned. This is the second music report I've collected and yours isn't here. Why?
WADE: That's not true. I turned in the first assignment.
MS. GARIBALDI: You turned it in late, there's a difference. What's going on with you? Are you giving yourself enough time to look through the material?
WADE: Yes.
MS. GARIBALDI: Do you actually understand the terms I use in class?
WADE: Yes.
MS. GARIBALDI: Is there a reason you're looking in all directions like there's a train coming?
WADE: Not...particularly?
MS. GARIBALDI: Wade, I know you're a smart kid, but you have to apply yourself if you're going to pass this class.
WADE: Don't worry, Ms. Garibaldi. Next week, I'm going to pass that test and it will be like I never fell behind.
MS. GARIBALDI: That's what I like to hear. And Wade, the Pavarotti report. I need that by Thursday, or I'm giving you a zero.
WADE: I don't think I can do Thursday. I need more time for research.
MS. GARIBALDI: A lot of other kids had the same deadline as you and didn't get an extension at all. I'm doing you a favor.
WADE: But a zero? With the last report, you just gave me a reduced grade.
MS. GARIBALDI: I can't go soft on you, Wade. If you don't do what you're supposed to do, I can't do what I'm supposed to do. Thursday, on my desk.
WADE: Understood.
Wade rolls his eyes and leaves the classroom.
MS. GARIBALDI: Did that boy seriously just roll his eyes at me? Kids.
SCENE 11
Craig Bartlett Junior High School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
The next day at school, Jaylynn adjusts her hat and uses breath spray.
RK: Who are you trying to kiss?
JAYLYNN: No one. And don't suggest yourself because that's sick.
RK: Your ego has no limits, does it?
SPARKY: What's with the Binaca, Jaylynn?
JAYLYNN: I'm trying to prepare myself to talk to Esther. You two remember Esther, right?
RK: The girl with the unfortunate name? Sure.
JAYLYNN: Well, she doesn't want to talk to Buster after what happened last year, so I'm going to see if I can talk to her. I get her and Buster together, we all hug and kiss and we never have to talk to Esther again.
SPARKY: You're going to Buster's condo after school then?
JAYLYNN: No. Since Esther goes here, I'm going to head over to where the eighth graders stay and look for her.
RK: You really want to die, don't you?
JAYLYNN: Please, those kids might be older and bigger than us, but they're not savages. Besides, when I see Esther, it's going to be in and out. Pray for me.
Jaylynn walks away from Sparky and RK.
SPARKY: She's a bold kid. What did Esther look like again?
RK: I think I know her Facebook name. Let's see here.
RK types in something on his phone and shows Sparky Esther's profile picture.
SPARKY: Hmmm, that's a tasty dish. Don't tell Halley, though.
RK: Tell her what, that you think another girl's pretty or you referred to that girl like she was Sunday dinner?
SPARKY: Everything!
SCENE 12
Craig Bartlett Junior High School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Jaylynn looks around the eighth grade section of the school and sees Esther by her locker.
JAYLYNN: Got you.
Jaylynn marches over to Esther and stands as close to her as Buster did earlier in the episode.
JAYLYNN (CONT.): Hey Esther, we need to talk.
ESTHER: Okay, does anyone know anything about personal space?
JAYLYNN: You're one of those kids that don't like being touched, aren't you?
ESTHER: Look, I don't even know who you are, so could you back off?
Jaylynn takes off her hat and sunglasses.
JAYLYNN: It's me, Jaylynn. Buster's friend.
ESTHER: Oh, hell. Did he send you?
JAYLYNN: No, I'm here on my own. I wanted to talk to you woman-to-woman. We're sorry for how we treated you last year. Buster and I liked you a lot and we went overboard trying to impress you.
ESTHER: And you lied about your age. You really think I wanted to date a fifth grader?
JAYLYNN: That's why we left that little part out. But honestly, we're sorry. You were cool and we both acted like idiots.
ESTHER: Okay.
Esther closes her locker and begins to walk away. A confused Jaylynn scratches her head and runs up to Esther.
JAYLYNN: Hey.
ESTHER: Why are you still here?
JAYLYNN: Because I don't get it. I apologized.
ESTHER: I know. I have ears.
JAYLYNN: So, what's the problem?
ESTHER: There's no problem.
JAYLYNN: Yeah, there is. Where I come from, when someone apologizes, and they're sincere about it, you accept it and make peace.
ESTHER: I know you apologized. It doesn't matter to me. If I don't want to accept it, I don't have to.
Esther walks away again.
JAYLYNN: What is this really about? Are you so sensitive, you can't even understand when someone's sorry?
ESTHER: Just leave me alone. You and Buster, got it?
Esther continues to walk away.
JAYLYNN: "Just leave me alone." "Me, me, me." This shit right here.
Jaylynn puts back on her disguise and leaves while some eighth graders stare at her.
SCENE 13
The Saltalamacchia Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Wade is on his laptop.
WADE: "Pavarotti's rendition of 'Nessun dorma' became the anthem for the 1990 FIFA World Cup."
RK walks in.
RK: Hey Wade, you busy?
WADE: Actually, I am. I'm trying to get to work on my Pavarotti report.
RK: I thought you already handed that in.
WADE: No, I was late. It's like I try to understand music class, but it doesn't understand me. And my teacher's a real battle ax.
RK: Damn. Welcome to the club.
WADE: What are you talking about?
RK: In all the years you've gone to school, not once have I heard you say anything negative about a teacher.
WADE: That's not true. I wasn't a fan of Coach Bergman.
RK: Nobody was, that's like saying you like eating pizza. I bet this teacher you don't like has lots of fans.
WADE: Yeah, she's one of the most popular teachers in school. But for some reason, I feel like she gives me a harder time than anyone else.
RK: Your pain is felt every step of the way. I've had a history of nightmare teachers. I would like you to read from the book of Mrs. Spinerman.
WADE: You told me about her. She was a real pain in the ass, wasn't she?
RK: Sure was. To this day, she's still the worst teacher I've ever had. If she hadn't been in my life, who knows where I would be? I could have been in D.C. winning spelling bees or finding a cure for cancer.
WADE: It's not too late to do those things.
RK: Probably, but that's time I could use enjoying myself. Like right now. What's on the tube?
WADE: I think there's an episode of Wade Needs to Do His Homework.
RK: Sounds like a creepy reboot of Homework Hotline. I'll leave you to your work then.
WADE: Thanks.
RK leaves the house. Wade looks at the TV.
WADE (CONT.): What is on right now? No, Wade, focus. You've been striving for academic excellence your whole life. Junior high isn't the time to start declining. However, I haven't really given myself a break, so why not watch an episode or two?
Wade turns on the TV.
WADE (CONT.): Okay. I give myself one hour to treat myself, then it's back to Pavarotti.
SCENE 14
The Newman Condominium
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Jaylynn walks through the door.
JAYLYNN: Esther's a bitch.
BUSTER: You just come in here saying that?
JAYLYNN: It had to be said. Esther's a bitch. And I'll say it three times just to be clear. That girl Esther? She is a bitch.
BUSTER: So, what happened? She made you cry?
JAYLYNN: No. But from how she acts, you think that we made her cry. I looked her dead in the face, told her that we're sorry for what we did, and you know what she said?
BUSTER: "Go to hell"?
JAYLYNN: No. "Okay."
BUSTER: Okay what?
JAYLYNN: "Okay," that's all she had to say. She didn't accept the apology, and when I called her out on it, she was like, "Leave me alone, you're hurting me, blah blah blah."
BUSTER: I can't believe this. I know we weren't best friends with Esther, but she was so sweet last year.
JAYLYNN: That was before we made ourselves look like fools at Burger King. Now, she thinks we're rat poison or breast cancer.
BUSTER: And there's nothing we can do about it. She lives here, she goes to our school, but she wants us both to stay away from her.
JAYLYNN: I know. It makes no sense. I want to slap her. One time, just smack the taste out of her mouth and teach her a lesson.
BUSTER: What lesson?
JAYLYNN: To not be a bitch. It's pretty simple to learn.
Beat.
JAYLYNN (CONT.): You know, I'm just venting, right? I'm just upset over her dissing us?
BUSTER: I know.
JAYLYNN: Yeah, once I get something to eat, I'll be okay.
SCENE 15
The Saltalamacchia Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Wade watches TV while he goes through a bowl of Doritos.
WADE (V.O.): It's 7:00 now. I thought I said I would give myself an hour and nothing more. Why am I screwing this up for myself? Ms. Garibaldi is going to kill me if that report isn't ready. Then that test coming up? Forget about it. I shouldn't have went in for that big bowl of Doritos. But nacho cheese and cool ranch simultaneously? Forget about it. Why do I keep saying "forget about it," with that accent? Did Halley teach me that? The Brooklyn dialect? "Pahk yah cah at Hahvahd Yahd." Okay, that's not Brooklyn, that's Boston. The kind of Boston you only hear as a joke. It's 7:02 now and instead of working on my assignment, I'm rambling like an idiot. You know what? Wait until 11:00 and see what you can do. Pull an all-nighter and make that report perfect.
SCENE 16
The Saltalamacchia Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
At 11:00, Wade is sound asleep on the couch. An alarm goes off on his phone, but he turns it off without even looking at the phone.
WADE (V.O.): Ugh, that's way better.
SCENE 17
The Saltalamacchia Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
At 6:15 A.M., Wade yawns and stumbles to his feet. His eyes widen and he opens his laptop to see that his Pavarotti report was left in the same place it was the afternoon before. Wade screams and starts to shake.
WADE (V.O.): Way to go, genius.
SCENE 18
Craig Bartlett Junior High School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Sparky, Buster, RK, and Jaylynn are at their lockers.
BUSTER: Hey, did you guys know they're making a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon?
SPARKY: What? They're not allowed to do that.
BUSTER: I thought they were. You know, now that Bill Watterson's dead.
RK: Buster, what do I always tell you?
BUSTER: Stop reading old articles from The Onion?
RK: Good boy.
At that point, two older girls walk up to Jaylynn and push her down.
JAYLYNN: Hey, what the f*** are you doing?!
KELLY: You know exactly why we're here.
JAYLYNN: No, I don't.
SPARKY: Look, whatever problem you have with Jaylynn, you can't-
ARLENE: Sit down!
Sparky looks around in a panic and sits down Indian-style.
JAYLYNN: Okay, you have five seconds to explain your shit before I make you pick up your teeth with broken fingers.
KELLY: You know our friend Esther, right?
JAYLYNN: Yeah, I do.
KELLY: And so does he, right?
BUSTER: Who's Esther? That's a stupid name, who gives that to a girl?
ARLENE: Stop playing stupid.
JAYLYNN: He's not! You're not, are you?
Buster gives Jaylynn an annoyed look.
JAYLYNN (CONT.): He's not!
ARLENE: Look, you two stalkers need to leave Esther alone. She warned you already and you kept harassing her.
JAYLYNN: We stopped talking to Esther. We don't care about her at all.
KELLY: You do. She told us everything. How you walked up to her, forced her to accept your apology, then you started flirting with her.
JAYLYNN: I never did that!
ARLENE: Yeah, you did. So did this pervert. Now, she's thinking about switching schools because of you two.
BUSTER: This is bullshit, we don't want any problems with Esther.
KELLY: It's too late for that. She doesn't want any little kids bothering her, so if you know what's good for you, you'll leave her alone. Or you're going to see us again.
ARLENE: And trust me, you don't want to see us again.
Kelly and Arlene shove Buster and Jaylynn and walk away. Sparky immediately stands up.
SPARKY: What the hell was that?!
RK: That's harassment, that's what it was. You guys should tell Principal Schaefer.
BUSTER: Why? They'll just deny it and flip it around like pancakes. Jaylynn, are you okay?
JAYLYNN: She's spreading lies about us and she wants us to leave her alone? That's it, I'm killing her. And I'm not joking this time, I'm beating her ass.
SPARKY: Are you sure, Jaylynn? You'll just get in more trouble with those girls.
JAYLYNN: I don't care. I tried to let it go, I tried to listen to that bitch and she sends the dogs on us? Buster, after school, we're going to your building and we're getting answers out of Esther. And if she doesn't want to give us answers, that's okay. She can give us blood instead.
Jaylynn walks away. Sparky and RK look at Buster.
BUSTER: What are you looking at me for? Jaylynn's right. If Esther didn't want this, she should have taken her own advice.
SPARKY: And you're sure this is the best way to handle it?
BUSTER: All I know is someone's lying. We just need some answers.
RK: Buster, I know you and Jaylynn want Esther to die, but could you promise me something?
BUSTER: Sure.
RK: Could you please make sure we don't end up on the local news? It's been a crazy year as it is.
Buster places his hand on RK's shoulder.
BUSTER: I'll make you proud of me.
SCENE 19
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Interior Lunchroom
Seattle, Washington
At lunch, Wade looks almost catatonic with a thousand-yard stare. He slowly chews through a pack of hot fudge sundae Pop Tarts, and the stare never leaves his face. From his perspective, the kids talking is just background noise and the conversations are unintelligible. Kenny takes a seat next to Wade.
KENNY: Hey Wade. Wade? Dude, can you hear me?
WADE: I didn't do it, Kenny. I couldn't finish the report.
KENNY: Wait, what?
WADE: I couldn't finish it, I...I didn't give myself time and I can't turn it in incomplete.
KENNY: And you still wanted to show up to class?
WADE: We're supposed to go over the material for the French test today. I couldn't skip.
KENNY: Well, just be calm. Tell Ms. Garibaldi what happened and maybe you can work something out.
WADE: There's nothing to work out. Once she finds out, I'm getting a zero and it's going to ruin my average.
KENNY: Don't worry. I'm going to stick with you on this. You just have to be a man and let Ms. Garibaldi know what's what.
WADE: Okay.
SCENE 20
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Interior Ms. Garibaldi's Classroom
Seattle, Washington
After lunch, the kids file in for music class. Wade walks behind Kenny with his head down.
MS. GARIBALDI: Wade, do you have your report?
Wade freezes and raises his head up, not even looking directly at Ms. Garibaldi.
MS. GARIBALDI: Wade? Did you hear what I said? I don't like to repeat myself.
Wade is unable to utter even a simple noise. At this point, all the kids have turned their attention to him. Ms. Garibaldi walks up to Wade.
MS. GARIBALDI: So, you don't? And you think that you were just going to walk in here and ignore me, like I'm not the one who grades the papers?
WADE: No. I couldn't finish it.
MS. GARIBALDI: Or maybe you couldn't start it. Your problem is you're too smart to be lazy. I told you to have the report ready today and you have nothing to say? Stop playing with me!
Ms. Garibaldi sits back down and the kids start to laugh at Wade. Overcome by fear and humiliation, Wade vomits on the floor. The instrumental to "Let It Roll" plays in the background as everyone looks at Wade with shock and concern.
SCENE 21
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Interior Nurse's Office
Seattle, Washington
Nurse Jenkins uses a tongue depressor on Wade, then removes it.
NURSE JENKINS: Okay, you seem fine. There's no signs of a cold or virus. What did you say? That you couldn't eat when you're emotional?
WADE: Yeah. I have to force myself to eat sometimes.
NURSE JENKINS: Well, you're free to go back to class if you want to.
WADE: I would rather just go home and come back tomorrow.
NURSE JENKINS: Okay. I'll write up a note and let your teachers know you're not feeling well.
SCENE 22
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Wade walks out of the nurse's office and sees Kenny sitting on a chair near the door.
WADE: What are you doing here? You're sick, too?
KENNY: No, I just wanted to see how you were doing. Everyone was shook after you threw up, even Ms. Garibaldi.
WADE: Great. She humiliates me in front of the whole class and then feels bad when she can't do anything about it. I told Nurse Jenkins I'm going home. I can't stay here.
KENNY: Okay, that's cool. I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
WADE: Probably. But I don't want you to miss class because of me, you go back. Learn things.
KENNY: Sure.
Wade and Kenny dap each other up and Kenny leaves.
SCENE 23
The Westboro Complex
Interior Lobby
Seattle, Washington
After school, Buster and Jaylynn walk into Buster's building.
JAYLYNN: Okay. We're going to give the building manager Esther's name and then, he'll give us information on her condo. After that, we beat the shit out of her.
BUSTER: Didn't you say all of that on the car ride over here?
JAYLYNN: I wanted to make sure you remembered!
Buster and Jaylynn walk up to the front desk.
JAYLYNN (CONT.): Hi, we're looking for Esther. We're friends with her.
BUILDING MANAGER: Do you have a last name?
Buster and Jaylynn look at each other with panicked expressions.
JAYLYNN: Um, I think her name is, uh...the same as that black woman from Good Times? Because they both believe in Jesus?
The building manager looks at Jaylynn with bewilderment.
JAYLYNN (CONT.): I'm at least close, right?
SCENE 24
The Westboro Complex
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
Buster and Jaylynn sit at the steps.
JAYLYNN: How is it that neither of us found out Esther's last name?
BUSTER: She never told us. Maybe she doesn't have one.
JAYLYNN: What, like she's Normani or Lizzo? I don't think so.
Beat.
JAYLYNN (CONT.): Williams! Her last name is Williams! Ugh, that was killing me.
SCENE 25
The Westboro Complex
Exterior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Buster and Jaylynn walk up to Esther's door.
JAYLYNN: Seriously, why did it take us so long to remember her name?
BUSTER: We were probably thinking about it too hard.
JAYLYNN: Yeah, I have so much in my brain sometimes, it's like I beat myself. We should probably ring the doorbell first. You know, etiquette and shit.
Jaylynn rings the doorbell, which makes a high-pitched buzzing sound. Static is heard over the intercom.
ESTHER (V.O.): Who is this?!
JAYLYNN: It's Jaylynn and Buster. We're here to-
ESTHER (V.O.): Who is this?!
JAYLYNN: Why can't she hear me?
BUSTER: You have to keep your finger on the buzzer.
JAYLYNN: It's a doorbell.
BUSTER: No, it's electronic. She can't hear anything if your finger's not on it.
JAYLYNN: What kinda...okay?
Jaylynn rings the doorbell, but her finger remains on it this time. The high-pitched buzzing sound continues. Static is heard again.
ESTHER (V.O.): Who the f*** keeps pressing the button?! Stop it!
JAYLYNN: Open the door, Esther, it's us.
ESTHER (V.O.): No, I'm not going to! Go away and stop ringing my bell!
JAYLYNN: Esther, we're not playing with you. If you don't open this door in five seconds, I'm kicking it down.
Beat.
ESTHER (V.O.): Come in.
SCENE 26
The Williams Condominium
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Jaylynn and Buster walk in.
BUSTER: Wow, this is a really nice place. It's too bad some of this stuff might get ruined.
ESTHER: Why?
JAYLYNN: Because you have a lot of nerve, you know that? You tell us to leave you alone, then you sick your friends on us and they have the audacity to touch us with their filthy little hands? You're lucky we're not pressing charges.
ESTHER: What are you talking about? I never sent my friends after you.
BUSTER: Yeah, you did. They told us everything.
ESTHER: Everything? They even told you that I sing Chaka Khan in the bathroom?
BUSTER: No, they...just told us what you told them about us being stalkers.
JAYLYNN: No f***ing way you listen to Chaka Khan.
ESTHER: Look, guys, I know we've had our problems, but I didn't tell my friends to threaten you. If I have a problem, I'll handle it myself.
JAYLYNN: How are we supposed to believe you? You told them we were bothering you, so this all started because of you.
ESTHER: This all started because you were forcing me to accept your apology!
BUSTER: Because you can't let what we did go! Why do you act like we betrayed you?
ESTHER: Because you did, Buster! You want to know why I don't want to speak to you guys?
Beat.
JAYLYNN: Yes!
ESTHER: Because you were just like everyone else. When I was younger, I was a loser. I had no friends, I ate lunch in the bathroom, I didn't know how to talk to people. Then I go to junior high and everybody loves me. But they didn't care about me. They just thought I was pretty.
Beat.
BUSTER: Uh huh.
ESTHER: When I met you guys, I thought you really wanted to be friends. I didn't have to be the cool girl anymore or the pretty girl. I could just enjoy myself with real people. But once again, you didn't care about me. You just thought I was some fantasy.
JAYLYNN: Well, you're wrong. We did care about you. And I'm sorry you had it rough, but my childhood hasn't been a walk in the park, either. If I didn't let go of all the bad things people did to me, I would never be happy.
ESTHER: I get that, but I'm not going to accept your apology just because you want me to.
BUSTER: That's okay, but could you tell your friends to leave us alone? We're just trying to go to school and live our life.
ESTHER: Sure. I'll talk to them ASAP.
JAYLYNN: Alright.
Jaylynn leaves the condo. Buster looks to the side and sees a lava lamp.
BUSTER: Cool, a lava lamp!
ESTHER: Please don't touch that. My uncle bought that from Rick James, it's a collector's item.
BUSTER: You know who Rick James is?
ESTHER: I listen to Chaka Khan, of course I do.
SCENE 27
The Westboro Complex
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Buster walks out of the condo and Esther closes the door, then locks it.
JAYLYNN: I still don't trust her. She was probably too pussy to make us fall back, so she had her friends do it.
BUSTER: Whatever happened there, at least it's over. We can move on and-
Buster gets a phone call and picks up.
BUSTER: Hey RK, what's up? Beat. What? Beat. Okay, we're coming.
JAYLYNN: What's going on?
BUSTER: Wade got sick at school and he was sent home. RK said he's not feeling well.
JAYLYNN: Damn, we have to go see him.
SCENE 28
The Saltalamacchia Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Wade is on the couch surrounded by the gang.
WADE: Look, guys, I appreciate you coming over, but you didn't have to.
JAYLYNN: Of course we had to. We're your friends.
RK: So, Wade, I'm guessing that teacher is responsible for your little incident today?
WADE: Unfortunately, yes.
SPARKY: Teacher? Wade, you're having problems with a teacher?
RK: Yeah, his own Mrs. Spinerman. Took the poor boy right out of commission.
SPARKY: Oh, she's one of those teachers. She's so scary, you don't even want to be in her class.
BUSTER: Maybe you could transfer out if she's giving you a hard time.
WADE: I can't. She's the only music teacher the school has.
JAYLYNN: They have the money to send kids to Ghana and Germany, but they only have one music teacher?
WADE: There's a lot of politics that's in that and we don't have to talk about it, but the point is, I don't know what to do. I've never hated a teacher more than Ms. Garibaldi.
SPARKY: Well, look at it this way. You only have to take music class once. You-you do, right?
WADE: Yeah. I took the class because I thought it would be fun, but it's been a nightmare. I just want to stay home for a few days and think about things.
RK: Hey, nobody works harder in school than you. What would you miss after a few days off?
BUSTER: Yeah. If anything, the school will have to catch up after you come back.
WADE: Thanks, guys. I'm glad you came to see me. Don't worry, I'll be back on my feet in no time.
SCENE 29
Craig Bartlett Junior High School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
A few days later, Esther is at her locker when Kelly and Arlene walk up to her.
KELLY: Hey Esther, are you okay? You said we had to talk.
ESTHER: Yeah, we do. How could you threaten Buster and Jaylynn like that? I didn't tell you to do that.
ARLENE: You said you wanted them to leave you alone. We made sure they would.
ESTHER: How, by lying about what I told you? They came to my place the other day, we were this close to fighting.
KELLY: They tried putting their hands on you?
ESTHER: No, but they could have. I don't want to have beef with two sixth graders. Whatever you guys did, you have to undo it.
ARLENE: Esther, what are you talking about?
ESTHER: Read my lips, Arlene. Whatever you guys did, you have to undo it. Fix it, take care of it. You understand?
KELLY: Don't worry. We hear you loud and clear.
ESTHER: Good. I'm going to class.
Esther closes her locker and walks away from Kelly and Arlene.
KELLY: You know what she wants us to do, right?
ARLENE: Yeah, she said to take care of it. If Buster and Jaylynn saw her at her own place, what's gonna stop them from seeing her again?
KELLY: That's why we need to end this. They're not touching Esther. Not now, not ever.
SCENE 30
Ike's Ice Cream Emporium
Interior Booth
Seattle, Washington
After school, Sparky, Buster, RK, and Jaylynn have met up at Ike's.
SPARKY: Guys, I'm worried about Wade. He hasn't been back to school in almost a week.
BUSTER: Oh no. Do you think he has arachnophobia?
JAYLYNN: Dude, I think you mean acrophobia.
BUSTER: Why would he be scared of taking a bath? He doesn't want to leave his house.
SPARKY: Agoraphobia. See, this is why Wade needs to be here so he can set us straight with these things.
RK: Well, I talked to his friend Kenny. Apparently, Wade's thinking about failing music class on purpose by not showing up anymore. Then he can just get a different extracurricular class next semester.
JAYLYNN: He's just giving up? That doesn't sound like Wade at all.
RK: I know. I never thought I would see the day.
SPARKY: I just wish there was a way we could convince him to go back to music class. The problem is, he doesn't like talking about himself.
JAYLYNN: Maybe you guys can get Adriana to talk to him. Does she know about this?
RK: Well, she knows he got sick, but I don't think they've been talking. I'll call her and see if she can give him a kick in the ass.
Kelly and Arlene walk into the restaurant and approach the kids.
KELLY: Oh, look at the widdle kids eating their widdle ice cream.
BUSTER: Stop talking like that, it makes you sound like a cartoon.
JAYLYNN: Are you guys serious? Why are you here?
ARLENE: Esther spoke to us. She said you saw her the other day and almost fought her.
JAYLYNN: That's true. But if she was telling the truth, that means you guys decided to threaten us for no reason.
KELLY: We were protecting her. But she doesn't know what's good for her, so she never takes action.
SPARKY: Do you guys want us to leave?
JAYLYNN: Yeah, we're not done with this Wade thing, but we don't want you to get involved in our bullshit.
SPARKY: Alright. Come on, RK.
RK: Sparks, don't be unreasonable. We're about to get a fight.
SPARKY: Or we could let Adriana know what's going on with Wade. Unless you want me fighting you.
RK: Yeah, so, prayers up, guys.
RK runs out of the restaurant and Sparky follows him.
BUSTER: You know, we were trying to figure out how to help our friend and you ruined it. Is that all you guys do? Just ruin things?
KELLY: Shut up.
BUSTER: You shut up, don't talk to me like that. Are you stupid?
KELLY: I know you are, but what am I?
JAYLYNN: Alright, you jackasses are wasting your time. We don't care about Esther anymore and honestly, we wish we never met her. I mean, she's fine, but it wasn't worth all this.
ARLENE: Then how about we settle this outside? If we lose, you'll never see us again. But if we win, we'll come back tomorrow and kick your ass. And then the next day, we'll kick your ass. We'll continue to kick your ass until you learn to leave Esther alone.
BUSTER: We're already leaving her alone, what the hell is wrong with you?!
Kelly slaps Buster.
JAYLYNN: That's it, you people are going to make me go to jail. Let's go outside.
SCENE 31
Ike's Ice Cream Emporium
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
Buster and Jaylynn walk out of the restaurant while Kelly and Arlene follow them.
BUSTER: So, how do we handle this?
JAYLYNN: I'm thinking there are some storylines going on here, so you take the girl that slapped you, and I'll take the girl that looks like a bootleg version of me.
BUSTER: Okay. Maybe we should learn their names?
JAYLYNN: Yeah, 'cause after that whole Esther thing, I-
Kelly and Arlene turn Buster and Jaylynn around and spray them simultaneously with mace. They scream in pain.
JAYLYNN: F***!
Arlene kicks Jaylynn in the stomach and tosses her on the ground. She then bends down and begins landing punches. Kelly puts Buster in a fireman's carry, spins him around, and slams him on the ground. She then picks him up and throws him against the dumpster. As the beatdown continues, Esther walks up and looks horrified.
ESTHER: Are you guys insane?! Get off them!
Esther gets Arlene off of Jaylynn and Kelly stops hitting Buster.
KELLY: Oh, cool, you're here. You want the next shot?
ESTHER: No! What did I just tell you?! Leave these two alone.
ARLENE: Why? You don't even like them.
ESTHER: I don't like what they did, but that doesn't mean I want them dead. If you're doing this for my benefit, it's not working.
KELLY: I think we misunderstood what you said.
ESTHER: You think so? Get the f*** out of here.
Kelly and Arlene look at each other, then shrug and leave. Buster walks up to Esther and Jaylynn.
JAYLYNN: Why are your friends so weird?
ESTHER: I told them to take care of this. I guess I need to be more literal whenever I talk to them about anything.
BUSTER: It would help. How did this happen? All we wanted to do was be cool with you again.
ESTHER: I know. I'm sorry I let this happen to you guys. You know what you said the other day, Jaylynn? About letting things go?
JAYLYNN: I don't remember. I say a lot of things to lots of people.
ESTHER: Well, I remembered. I've been mad at you guys for months, and it doesn't really matter anymore. You just had a crush on me, who cares?
BUSTER: Have you ever done stupid things for someone you liked?
ESTHER: Which time? The point is, it's time for us to start over. How about I treat you guys to some ice cream?
JAYLYNN: We kinda already ate.
ESTHER: Oh. Then how about I treat you tomorrow?
JAYLYNN: Yeah, sure. Make sure you bring your cash.
ESTHER: I will. See you guys tomorrow.
Esther leaves the restaurant.
BUSTER: I think this will work out. Besides, we could use someone older looking out for us, giving us wisdom.
JAYLYNN: I agree. But I'm not joking, she better bring stacks of money after what we went through. I'm taxing her, and I'm taxing her good.
BUSTER: You don't play when it comes to revenge.
JAYLYNN: It makes no sense to play.
SCENE 32
The Saltalamacchia Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Wade watches TV while he eats a bowl full of nacho cheese and cool ranch Doritos.
ANGIE (V.O.): George, are you crazy? You just fired the handyman without consulting me?!
GEORGE (V.O.): Angie, being handy is the Lopez way. My people have spent years taking care of things without breaking our wallets. They gave Tim Allen a sitcom when he couldn't fix anything, they couldn't give a Latino one, too?!
Wade cackles when Adriana walks in. She slams the door behind her.
WADE: Hey, what's going on?
ADRIANA: I don't know. You tell me what's going on.
WADE: I don't like where this is going, Ade.
ADRIANA: You shouldn't. Wade, why didn't you tell me you were having problems in school?
WADE: You wouldn't understand. Nobody would.
ADRIANA: I'm your girlfriend. If you're in trouble, I want to help. You can't try failing all your classes.
WADE: It's not all my classes. It's just one. Honestly, I wish that time machine was still around. I could have just stopped myself from taking Ms. Garibaldi.
ADRIANA: What's this really about? Are you just scared of having a class that you can't understand?
WADE: I'm not scared. I'm trying to protect my reputation.
ADRIANA: Nobody cares about that.
WADE: They do. Adriana, I've been a straight-A student for years. I made a commitment to being the best. I've skipped grades twice, I've invented all this crazy stuff. Everyone sees me as a genius, a prodigy. I can't accept being less than.
ADRIANA: Just because you have one class you don't do well in, doesn't mean you're not those things. You can't expect to be the best all the time.
WADE: I have to. It's who I am, it's what I've worked hard for. I knew going to junior high would be an adjustment, but I wasn't expecting to throw up because I couldn't finish my homework.
ADRIANA: Wade, do you think I'm with you because you're smart and do well in school?
WADE: Probably. I thought it could be other things, like my skincare regimen or the meat I'm putting on these bones.
ADRIANA: That too, but I'm with you because you're real. You don't make excuses, you don't give up, you're always excited about what comes next. You're so motivated in everything you do, it's inspiring. When they didn't let you into that space camp, what did you do?
WADE: I built a space simulator.
ADRIANA: Whenever your friends have problems, what do you do?
WADE: I try to be honest and tell it like it is.
ADRIANA: So, if someone was worried they wouldn't be special anymore because they're failing a class, what would you say to them?
WADE: Adriana...
ADRIANA: Hey, hey, Adriana doesn't exist. Adriana died somewhere. This is you talking to this random guy that's worried about his future. Maybe you should help him.
WADE: Fine. Look, random guy, you're smart no matter what your grades say. You know what you're capable of. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. If you remember everything you've achieved in the past, you can achieve this. Get out of your own head, focus, and do the work like only you can. Things will come back around.
ADRIANA: See? That's my Wade. The one who keeps it real.
WADE: I'm scared, Ade. What if Ms. Garibaldi is harder on me after everything I did?
ADRIANA: Then you deal with it. Let her know you're not backing down. But as long as you're you, she's not even going to remember making you cry and vomit.
WADE: I didn't cry.
ADRIANA: Are you sure? Because that's what RK said you did.
WADE: RK says a lot of things to make his stories sound interesting. Don't fall for his propaganda.
SCENE 33
Frederick Douglass Academy VIII
Interior Ms. Garibaldi's Classroom
Seattle, Washington
Wade walks into class with everyone.
MS. GARIBALDI: Wade, could you come see me?
WADE: Not again.
Wade shakes his head and walks to Ms. Garibaldi's desk.
WADE (CONT.): Yes, Ms. Garibaldi?
MS. GARIBALDI: How are you doing? I heard you've been pretty sick lately.
WADE: Yeah, it wasn't easy to deal with, but I'm ready to get back to work.
MS. GARIBALDI: That's good. You know, if you're having trouble with the material, it's never too late to get help.
Ms. Garibaldi writes something down and gives it to Wade.
WADE: What is this?
MS. GARIBALDI: My tutoring hours. I hope one of these days, I see you there. But it's your choice.
Wade smiles at the card.
WADE: Thanks.
Wade sits at his chair next to Kenny.
KENNY: Good to have you back, man. I guess Ms. Garibaldi has a heart, huh?
WADE: Yeah, it was weird. But I'm going to try to make it in this class. And if I don't, I'm still me.
KENNY: That's what I'm talking about. Oh, by the way, that RK guy. He's your brother or something?
WADE: In a spiritual sense, yeah.
KENNY: Right, because he told me to take care of you while you're here. And if I don't, he'll come see me.
WADE: You're going to love all my friends the more you talk to them.
Cut to black.
("The Pressure" by A Tribe Called Quest plays over the end credits)
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