A/N: This is my first posting of an "M" rated story. Please be Kind.

Set in season after Luke and Lorelai's first break up.

While this can be categorized as smut, there's more than that and there is a lot of emotion.

I would have preferred they got back together without Emily involved at all, so here's my version of how that could have gone. I hope you enjoy it.

The Boat and a Big Pot of Tea

Lorelai was on her way to work drinking her Weston's coffee, "This stuff keeps getting worse," she said out loud to herself. Just then she decided she had to be more positive. So Luke broke up with her? She's had relationships end before. She was engaged to Max and when that ended everything was okay. Why was this worse? They were only dating for a few months. Maybe with Max it was easier because she was the dumper not the dumpee. Maybe it was because after it was all said and done others seemed to agree that they weren't the best fit and that she had done the right thing. But with Luke, God, just thinking about his name hurt.

Then her mouth dropped open, the Jeep slowed down to an almost standstill on Main Street when she saw Luke's boat parked in front of the Diner. It was a kick to her gut. Luke had said it was over at Doose's, she told him that she heard him and that they were done. But she didn't believe it until now. She hadn't realized herself that she still had hope, desperate and needy hope that he would cool down and miss her as much as she missed him and that he would tell her he wanted to try again. She would swear to be honest about everything and keep him fully in the loop of her schedule and who she saw. She would promise that there would never be a secret between them if he took her back. But seeing that boat was a clear signal that Luke was not coming back. And it hurt like hell. The pain quickly turned to anger and she made a u-turn to head home. She called Sookie from her cell.

"Sook, I'm not coming in today. I need to get a few things done around the house and do some more stuff for the school play. If you need me, call me, okay?"

Sookie sounded relieved, "Oh that's fine, Honey. You take the day, no need to come into town."

"I saw the boat!"

"Oh. I'm so sorry. I don't know what he was thinking! Did he tell you that he was taking it?"

"No! He just snuck it out of here and left it in the middle of town to let everyone know that we're through for good." she huffed as she grabbed a cardboard box from the back porch. She tossed a few things from the kitchen into the box and then headed to the bedroom.

"I think in time he'll realize this is a mistake and he'll come crawling back. Honey, you two are so good together."

Lorelai exhaled while throwing some of Luke's clothes and things he bought her as presents onto the bed, "Well I'm not waiting. I don't want him back in forty years when I had a 'middle' with someone else. If he's done now, then we're done for good. Nothing's ever hurt this bad and I'm not going to put myself through this torture again."

"What are you saying? If he came to you tonight and wanted you back, you'd say no?"

"I don't know. This just hurts so much. I've lost the best boyfriend I ever had, one of my best friends and my favourite coffee and in one fell swoop."

"And the best sex of your life," Sookie added.

"Thanks for that reminder!"

"Sorry."

"I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow," Lorelai said abruptly, trying to end the conversation.

"Honey, I'm so sorry," Sookie almost cried.

"It's okay. I just need to take today."

"Okay. Call me if you need anything."

Lorelai hung up the phone and began to fold the clothes that she had gathered on her bed. Most of it was Luke's and some were things he bought for her that she didn't plan on wearing again. She then grabbed the few things in her bathroom that were his. When the box was full she folded up the top to ensure nothing would fall out and threw it on the passenger seat of the Jeep. She got into the car and drove directly to the Diner, parked in front of the window, right behind the boat. She got out of the car, went to the passenger side to get the box, and placed the box in the boat. As she turned to leave she heard Luke call from the door of the Diner.

"Hey! What is that? What are you doing?" He immediately regretted his tone and words.

Lorelai spun around and gave him a classic Emily Gilmore Death Stare. "I saw your boat here, clearly you wanted your stuff back, so I have filled a box with other things you left at my place. I wouldn't want you to have to come over in the middle of the night for this stuff. Sneaking away without letting me know might be a little trickier with the stuff you would need to get from inside my house! Seeing as what a coward you were about the boat that you claimed you didn't even want, I had to make sure you had your favourite flannels back!"

Lorelai watched as her words affected him. She saw a million different emotions wash over him from regret to sadness to rage.

"Coward!? I was trying to spare your feelings and get this reminder out of your garage! I was being nice."

Now Luke saw the rage on her face, "NICE! NICE? You think it's nice to break up with me after one bad moment? You said you were all in and I believed you! You wouldn't even talk to me! You wouldn't hear my side of it."

"I needed time!"

"Time to what?! You clearly made up your mind! You said you were out less than twenty-four hours after the incident. What would more time have given you? Did you want the time so you could hitch your boat out of my place and park it in the middle of the town so everyone could know you were done with me sooner than you did?"

"Lorelai, please!" He tried to get closer to her. He needed to defuse this and stop the show that everyone seemed to be watching. The entire crowd from the Diner was pushed up against the windows, not being subtle in the slightest. Babette and Miss Patty were standing outside by the front door of the Diner to take in every word. Taylor was outside the market with Kirk and a bunch of dogs. Bootsy, East Side Tilly and Andrew were by the newsstand, and various other townies were quiet and staring on the sidewalks.

"Please what?" Lorelai continued to use her 'outside voice' knowing that Luke was embarrassed. "Please stop being loud? Why? Anyone around here already knows what's going on because your boat was a huge neon sign saying 'Luke broke up with Lorelai! Come check out the huge physical piece of evidence that Lorelai Gilmore screwed up again!' Plus this must be your going out of business announcement, right? You said if we broke up you would close the Diner and leave town. Although it might be a better if you just left and Caesar could take over. Sure your pancakes are better, but some pancakes are better than none!"

Luke exhaled with his whole body and walked up to her so they could stop yelling. He looked at her with pained bloodshot eyes, "Please stop this. Come inside, let's go upstairs and talk."

"Your actions did all your talking for you, Luke. You know, I wish we never got together because whoever said 'it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' must have never felt like this. I would have rather never known how good it could have been." Before any more tears could fall she turned, got into her car and left him on the street. He grabbed the box from the boat and stomped past the gawkers to his apartment.

—- L&L L&L L&L L&L —-

Up in his apartment Luke paced to try to rid himself of the nervous energy the fight on the street caused. He stopped at the kitchen table and opened the box Lorelai had dumped into the boat. His heart broke with each item he pulled out. A blue toothbrush, a comb, some razors and a small can of shaving cream, a spatula, and one of his blue shirts that she always wore between rounds of lovemaking. Just seeing that shirt had him at half-mast thinking about her in nothing but this. Then his heart shattered. There was a small box where he found the earrings and necklace made by Liz that he had given her. When he dug deeper into the box there were a few more gifts that he bought her and he finally understood how she felt when she saw the boat. If she was returning this stuff, a skirt that drove him wild, some lingerie he had given her at Christmas and a small stuffed dog he had won her at some town event, she must not want any reminders of him in her house at all. But looking around his apartment he knew that she would never fully be rid of him. Because all he could see in his place was her. Her sitting on his couch flipping through channels while he made her dinner. The kitchen table conjured up images of the few times he knocked everything off it and took her right there after her incessant teasing. His bed was filled with memories both tender and scandalous that would be forever burned into his brain.

There was a knock on the door and he instinctively yelled, "Go away!"

"I have a key, and I'm not leaving. Let me in or I'll let myself in," Liz called out.

Luke stomped over to the door, he should have known it was her, she would be the only one brave enough in this town to approach him now. He unlocked it and let his sister in. "What?" he demanded.

"I saw your show on Main Street. Wanna tell me anything?"

"I'm really not in the mood for your jokes, I can tell you that," he snapped while opening the fridge and reaching for a beer.

"It's not even ten a.m., do you really think you need a beer right now?"

"Liz, I don't need a babysitter."

"No! You need a sister to come knock some sense into you. What are you doing? I have NEVER, ever seen you as happy as you were the months you were with Lorelai. Even before you officially got together you were smiling like a toddler with ice cream any time her name came up. You two are perfect for each other and very obviously both miserable now, so go apologize and work this out,"

"Me, apologize?" he asked incredulously.

"Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? And you're sure you've done absolutely nothing to apologize for? Like leaving her at her parents' party without a ride home? Or telling her you were 'out' without giving her a chance to explain? Or humiliating her in front of the whole town by using the boat as a way to announce to the Town that you two broke up, again, without talking to her first."

"Okay, okay. But her actions put us here, not mine."

Liz sighed and took Luke's hand causing him to look her in the eyes, "Don't you remember how Dad was after Mom died? Don't you think if he could have gone back in time, or had a do over of any kind, that he would care about who was more right or hurt during a fight? Or would he do everything in his power to be happy with the love of his life every minute possible?"

Luke sighed.

"You know I'm right this time. You told me on more than one occasion that you saw your future with her, that she was your person and that you two would have the life you were afraid would never happen for you. Are you willing to let that go? Do you really think it's all over?"

Luke walked over to the box, "Yeah, it might really be over. Look at this stuff she returned. I get her giving my clothes back, but the jewellery? The gifts? There's even a 'Luke's' magnet. She's done."

"She's hurt!" Liz insisted. "You need to go fix this. She tried to come to you and you said no. She isn't going to try again, it has to be you."

"What do I say?"

"I love you is always nice to hear."

He exhaled a small laugh, "Yeah, I'm not sure she's ready to hear that from me."

"Big Brother, you know her better than anyone else. If anyone can fix this, it's you."

"I appreciate your confidence in me, I'm just not so sure."

"Go try. If it works out, great! If it doesn't, you're still in the same spot, it can't get worse."

"Things can always get worse," Luke insisted.

"Thanks Mister Positivity! I just mean the two of you are broken up, not talking and she expects you to leave town. It can't get much worse than that."

"I guess you're right."

"So go!"

Luke hugged his pushy sister and headed for the door.

—- L&L L&L L&L L&L —-

Lorelai was boiling a large pot of water with so many tea bags she had lost count. She used a wooden spoon to stir it and press the bags against the pot to get out all the tea possible (she had to dye the Santa beards for tomorrow's dress rehearsal of Fiddler on the Roof). There was a small knock at the back door and before she could think about it she called out "Come in, it's open."

The door opened and Luke entered the kitchen slowly. He was half waiting for her to notice him and kick him out.

"Hi," he greeted.

She looked up from the pot clearly shocked to see him. "Hi?" she questioned.

When he noticed that she was standing over a pot with a wooden spoon all other thoughts left his brain, "What are you doing? Are you trying to cook?"

"I'm making a pot of tea actually," she started.

"Wow, you must really be done with me if you're switching from coffee," he interjected lightheartedly.

"Well, I can't get the best anymore, so why bother?"

"With that logic I guess I'm giving up women."

"Don't," she whispered. Her eyes fixated on the rapidly bubbling, brown water.

"Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"I hate that you returned my stuff," he admitted.

She didn't respond.

He took a few steps closer to her, but she didn't move from her spot with her back to him.

"I really hate that you put some things in there that are yours."

"I can't look at them, it hurts too much." Her voice was so quiet and weak, nothing like the woman he loved.

"It hurts me too." He placed his hands on her shoulders, he felt her jump and stiffen at his touch. Again, the total opposite of what he was used to from her.

"Please look at me," he begged.

She shook her head.

"Please?" He tried again.

Reluctantly she turned, her eyes downcast and her cheeks soaked with tears. He leaned forward slowly and kissed her cheek, trying to catch all the tears on one side before turning his attention to her other cheek. He pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes, still filled with tears she'd yet to shed. He planted a small kiss on her nose and then went for her lips, not exactly sure how she would receive him. When their lips touched her hands grabbed on to the open zipper of his army jacket, she clung to him for dear life before opening the coat wider causing it to slide off his shoulders. He shook his arms out of the coat and then unzipped her hoodie, peeling it from her body in a hurry. He knew her well enough to know that she was not wearing a bra under her t-shirt and it affected him. Before she lost her mind completely she reached behind her and turned off the burner. Once she did that his hands flew to her waist and he lifted her off her feet. Her legs wrapped around his torso as if they had minds of their own. He started towards the stairs, navigating the house as they kissed. She removed his hat and tossed it over the bannister on their way up the stairs. The fact that he only bumped into two things on his trip to the bedroom impressed him, he was sure they would have ended up on the floor at some point. But he had her in her room next to her bed. He lowered her legs so they were both standing. His hands roamed upwards, both greedily filling themselves with her breasts. He roughly ran his thumbs over her nipples through her t-shirt making her moan. Her head fell back and the tears began to flow again. He ignored her tears and began kissing her exposed neck, quickly moving his hands under her shirt to feel the skin he craved like a drug. She continued to cry as she removed her shirt and started to undo the buttons on his. With her shirt gone, so was his restraint, it had only been a few days since they had been together but it felt like years. He helped her remove his flannel shirt and practically tore his undershirt off of himself before pulling her back to him and claiming her left nipple in his mouth. Her breathing became shallow and suddenly she forgot that she was crying, now making purring sounds of pure pleasure.

He was grinding into her, letting her know through both of their pants just how much he wanted her. When his mouth switched to her right breast his hands slid down her back into her pants to grab hold of her butt cheeks. He pulled her towards him, pushing his erection into her thigh. She shifted to rub her throbbing centre against him, making him groan against her skin. She started to fumble with his belt, but as soon as it was opened she had his pants around his ankles. She stroked him over his underwear and he pulled away. She looked at him quizzically and he smirked at her. He lowered himself to his knees and dragged her "Juicy" pants and her panties down her legs, he gave her a small push before she could step out of her pants and she fell onto the bed, sitting on the edge. He moved faster than she could think and she gasped when she felt his tongue glide up and down her wet folds.

She was still sure they were broken up, that he couldn't deal with being in a relationship with her because she was crazy and her family was cruel. She was trying to push those feelings aside and focus on the sheer pleasure he was bestowing on her, but it kept popping into her head that this would be her last time feeling him. Touching him and feeling his touch. She knew even if they became friends again she could never touch him, because all of this would come flooding back. But she tapped into her god given ability to compartmentalize as a Gilmore.

She opened her eyes and watched him devour her. His eyes were closed, his hands gripping her thighs, and his mouth was on her clit sucking as if his life depended on it.

Her silence was becoming a distraction. Lorelai Gilmore was never silent, unless she was asleep. But every other time when he was pleasuring her, especially orally, she was far from silent. He sucked harder and flicked his tongue over her bud of throbbing nerves. When he heard her breathing quicken he knew he was on the right path, so without warning he slid a finger deep into her heat and curled it inside.

Finally she screamed out his name and he smiled. Oh how he loved her, and how he loved to hear her in the throws of passion. He loved being the one to bring her this pleasure and knowing that no man would make her feel quite this way ever again. When he ran his tongue up and down her slit again her legs wrapped around his head and she arched her back off the mattress. With that he returned his mouth to her clit, and slid a second finger inside of her. Her head tossed back and forth as he worked her harder and faster. She felt the tightness in her stomach moving downward, she knew she was close, but she didn't want this to end. When it ended he would leave and she would never feel this way again.

"Stop," she gasped.

"No," he barked with his mouth still on her.

"Luke, I don't want to finish yet."

"Oh Baby, I am just getting started with you. I hope you took the whole day off work," he smiled smugly with his fingers still pounding her furiously. He looked down at her with what she thought was love in his eyes. His thumbs pressed down on her clit and she felt herself break apart into a thousand pieces. She came hard and with gusto, screaming his name over and over, writhing out of control. He continued to pump her, slowing down only when he felt her inner walls loosen their grasp on his fingers.

"Wow," was all she could say with her voice raspy.

"I'll be back with some water for you," he smiled triumphantly.

The moment he left the room she was sure he would sneak out of the house. She turned onto her side, curled into a ball and began to sob. Moments later, he rushed into the room, placed the glass on her nightstand and sat on the bed beside her.

"Please don't cry," was all he could say.

She took in a deep breath, and sat up as she exhaled. He was staring at her with sad, concerned eyes.

She could smell the mouthwash on his breath. Without a word she stood in front of him, pulled down his boxer briefs and placed her hands on his shoulders. She rested one knee beside him on the mattress and before he knew it, she was straddling him and he was deep inside her. They were still for a few moments, both enjoying the connection, trying to commit this moment to memory.

He kissed her collarbone, and brought her to life. She began to move on him, slowly at first making sure he was happy. She reached down and began to massage his balls, gently pulling them making him grunt and thrust upwards.

"Oh god, I've missed you," he cried.

The tears won over her newfound resolve and she began to cry, "I'm going to miss this so much."

When her words registered, he stopped moving and took hold of her, stopping her as well. "What? You're GOING to miss this?"

"Didn't you come here to say goodbye?"

He scoffed and took her face in his hands, "I came here because I don't want to live without you. I came here because no matter how loud we yell or what hurtful words we say, there is no one I want driving me crazy more than you, in the good way and the bad way. I came here to get you back. This is makeup sex, not goodbye." He planted kisses on her face and down her neck until something hit him, "Wait! Are YOU saying goodbye? Do you not want me back now?"

"You hurt me. The first sign of trouble you left. It didn't really jive with someone who said they were 'all in'."

"So it's goodbye?" his voice full of fear.

She began to ride him, desperate to buy herself some time, wanting the perfect words. For a moment she saw him get lost in her ministrations, his small smile, his eyes fluttering shut, nostrils flaring. She knew that if she just kept building her tempo, he would soon lose all control. She began to chew her bottom lip as she swiveled her hips, grinding against him, sending shock waves through her own body as well as his. Just when she was sure she had him where she wanted him, he grasped her hips and stilled her.

"Is this goodbye?" His voice was insistent. "Answer me."

She looked like she was in pain, "I'm so close."

He smiled, very pleased with the way he managed to get her going even when she was in charge, "That's not an answer. Do you want me to pull out?"

"No!" She gasped.

"So answer my question. Are we making up or breaking up?"

"You can't leave me again," she cradled his face in her hands. "If we're back together and you say that you're all in, you have to be ALL IN. In for the good, in for the bad, for the times were alone like this and the time when we're surrounded by family. We're partners, now and always. You can't leave me."

"Deal!" He nodded. And with that he caught her by surprise and flipped her over. She was now on the bed and he climbed on top of her.

"Love me, Luke"

He slid into her without a word and began a fast pace, pumping her almost as if he wanted to hurt her.

"Yes. Yes!" She cried. She reached out, took hold of his biceps and dragged him down so his face was close to hers.

"Tell me," she begged. "Say it."

"I love you, Lorelai" he tried to sound sweet but was grunting as he drove them both higher and higher. Her legs wrapped around him, trying to deepen his thrusts. "I love you and I'm all in, forever. I'm not going anywhere."

She was close, they both knew it, but she couldn't get there. "Promise me!" She cried.

Luke leaned down, kissed the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. "I promise."

With that he kissed her lips and she broke apart. Waves of pleasure and relief hit her over and over as she was screamed into his mouth. He backed off slightly when he couldn't hold out any longer. Her inner walls were contracting around him until he snapped and began emptying into her in strong, hot, bursts.

It was then, coming down from the emotional high of being with Luke again that she realized they hadn't used protection.

"It's a good thing you just vowed to be with me forever," she sighed.

"Why is that?" He rolled off of her and was kissing her neck and shoulder.

"Well because the last time a guy was with me and didn't use a condom, I got Rory."

"I should be so lucky," he smirked, then kissed her.

Moments later his breathing was steady and quiet, she knew he was asleep. She snuggled next to him, resting her head on his shoulder and she fell asleep with a smile on her face.