"Always," Jack had said. And he meant it. Contrary to the usual conundrums, in this case there were mostly earthly reasons for his problems. Jacob was going to die, and there was nothing he could do about that. Kerry was gone, and there was nothing he could do about that, even if he really wanted to, and he didn't. Daniel was missing, again, and there was nothing he could do about that. Replicators, afuckingain, and there was nothing he could do about that. This was not a great week.

Jack looked down at his right hand, still warm from hers. He'd sought her out almost mindlessly, knowing that she needed him. He'd ignored the very many duties and the regulations assigned to his post, setting them aside long enough to comfort Sam Carter as she stared through the cold glass of the observation room and watched her father dying. They didn't talk about awkward moments or misunderstandings. Somehow, the second his long fingers curled around her shoulder, she had known he was hers. She'd tucked her slim fingers into his hand and squeezed. Jack shivered at the thrill of the memory. She knew, right? In case she wasn't sure, he'd tried his best to tell her. Always.

Being the General in charge of the single most important post on Earth, Jack knew when people were even thinking about leaving the base, much less when they did. When alerted about Sam's departure, he leaned back in his chair and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. The security on duty told him they could have her followed, but he didn't need them to do that; he knew where she was going and why. Despite the trauma of the moment, he spared a smile knowing that was gonna be it for Pete. He scowled. Fucking Pete.

He'd screwed up his courage to talk to her, to explain all the things and the stupid reasons he waited to be open and honest with her, but the fucking world was at stake again and he had to instead order her to initiate a self destruct sequence again. They survived again, but he has to believe this is the last time that kind of bullshit works out. Right?

With more questions than answers after the gate shut off, seemingly on its own, Jack had a million things to do but only one on his mind. He'd briefed the President, the Pentagon, and Homeworld Security. After an hour of several "I dunno, Sirs" he finally stood at the door of Sam's private on-base quarters. He smoothed his blue BDU shirt over his belly and tapped his knuckles against the door. She opened it and met his eyes without hesitation. She's so tired; he can see it, no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

"Okay if I come in?"

"Please."

The clicking lock of her door flipped a switch in Jack, and every ounce of his professionalism (however little that was at times) drained from his body. He crossed the distance between them and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Carter," he said-cried?-and pressed his face against her neck. His fingers clutched and gathered her t-shirt, desperate to close any distance between them; she folded into his arms and let out a long, ragged breath. He relaxed his arms only enough to draw a hand up her back to cradle her head, then brush the outside edge of his thumb against her cheekbone. He pressed a gentle, quiet kiss on the ridge of her brow. "Sam," he said in a low murmur against her forehead, "Sam, it's okay. Whatever you need to put down, put it down. Let me carry it for a while."

And in an instant she relaxed against his chest, releasing the tension she'd gathered over the years. Jack held her steady, supporting her with the circle of his long arms as he had done so many times in the past and as she had done for him, but for the first time he did not hold back the rolling tide of his affection. He stroked her cheek and dropped sweet little kisses along her hairline. Her nose pushed against the hollow of his throat; her hands gripped him like he was the only thing keeping her earthbound. "Please don't let go," she pleaded, pressing her fingers hard into his shoulders.

Jack kissed her temple and allowed his lips to linger above her ear. "As if I ever could," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and releasing a sigh. "Sam, I mean that; I can't, not this time. I need this to be real now." He pressed his hand into the small of her back and flexed his fingers into the fabric of her shirt.

She lifted her head from his chest to look at him. "It's always been real, Jack." Raising a hand to caress his cheek, she smiled softly at his soft expression, eyes closed and long, dark lashes resting on his cheeks. "Look at me."

He stared into her eyes, closed his fingers gently around her wrist, and tilted his head enough to kiss her palm. "I could look at you forever," he whispered, "but that's not going to be enough for me anymore, Sam." He'd had eight years of meaningful eye contact and 'incidental' touches that could be explained away (or be overlooked by a willing, up to a point, General Hammond). It wasn't enough anymore.

Sam chewed her lower lip and nodded. "I know," she whispered.

Jack inhaled and exhaled a deep breath before bringing both hands to her face and pulling her closer until their foreheads touched, thumbs stroking her cheeks. His dark eyes held her gaze, and he could feel her tremble slightly. "Sam," he sighed, "I need you to know that I have always and will always love you." He lowered one hand to rest against the side of her throat and felt her pulse quicken. "I will love you every second until I die and, shit, probably even after that." His voice was raw, his heart pounding, his head spinning as her blue eyes reflected his gaze with an intensity that piqued a memory of her face when they'd been cleared as non-zatarcs. "I'm sorry, Sam, I know we agreed not to, but I-" She cut him off with a hot kiss on his mouth. "Mmmf!" He reflexively squeezed at her shoulder and reached to clutch her waist and pull her flush with his body. "Oh," he panted, blinking his eyes a few times as she pulled away. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she whispered, "I love you, and I'm too tired to keep pretending otherwise."

A wave of relief swept over him, releasing his broad shoulders from weight he'd been carrying for eight years. He squeezed her waist, "So…"

"So…"

"So, Colonel Doctor Sam Carter, I guess this will be our year," Jack said, smiling broadly and hugging her close. He nuzzled the top of her head and grumbled "'bout fuckin' time wouldn't you say?" into her hair.

Sam laughed and patted his chest, "Yessir, 'bout fuckin time."

They clung to each other for several minutes, stroking each other's backs and limbs with casual familiarity they'd never been able to afford. Jack kissed her head and whispered every affectionate thought he'd ever had that he could remember as they loitered in their comfort. Eventually, duty called; a shock of good news brought by Teal'c and Bra'tac, and then the surprise return of Daniel (again) added to the sudden brightness of what Jack thought maybe wasn't such a bad week after all.

And I won't forget

The way you held me up when I was down

And I won't forget

The way you said, "Darling I love you

You gave me faith to go on"

Now we're there and we've only just begun

This will be our year, took a long time to come

"This Will Be Our Year" by Joshua Radin

/MHYRRvcz4xQ