SpongeBob is at the kitchen in his house with the splinter. He opens a top cupboard with the tweezers inside. He takes the tweezers out and closes the cupboard.
SpongeBob: Okay splinter, it's time for you to go!
SpongeBob puts the tweezers on the splinter and proceeds to pull the splinter out as well.
SpongeBob: Ow, ow, OW!
SpongeBob fails to pull the splinter. He stops pulling the splinter and puts the tweezers down on the counter.
Splinter: Enough is enough, SpongeBob. If you WANT to get me out, you're gonna need lots of help from someone you know.
SpongeBob: (Thinking) Hmmm... Someone I know... Eureka! I know! I'll call Patrick, he's a good doctor!
SpongeBob runs to the living room and takes out his touch-tone telephone. He dials Patrick's phone number and calls Patrick.
SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick.
Patrick: Yeah?
SpongeBob: Can you come to my house and be a doctor, I got a talking splinter with a British accent on my left thumb and I need help getting it out.
Patrick: All right SpongeBob, I'll do it. I'm a good doctor and I'll be there in seconds.
SpongeBob: Oh, thank goodness Patrick-
SpongeBob hears the doorbell ring and hangs up.
SpongeBob: He's here already?
SpongeBob opens the door and sees Patrick in his doctor suit (from the episode "Suds").
Patrick: Hello SpongeBob, I've come to help with your splinter. Now, where are the tweezers?
SpongeBob points to the kitchen where the tweezers are.
SpongeBob: They're over there in the kitchen on the counter.
Patrick: Ok, let the doctor get them.
Patrick heads to the kitchen and gets the tweezers. Then he heads back to the living room.
Patrick: Alright buddy, now sit down on the the chair and I'll take care of the splinter.
SpongeBob sits down on his chair.
Patrick: (Pulls on gloves) Now, where's the splinter?
SpongeBob shows his left thumb.
SpongeBob: It's on my left thumb.
Patrick: Alright buddy, let's get to business.
Patrick gets the tweezers and tries to pull the splinter out. He also fails to get it out.
Splinter: I'm afraid this chubby guy won't cut it!
SpongeBob: Hey!
Patrick: Who was that?
SpongeBob: That was just my splinter complaining.
Patrick: The splinter can talk?
SpongeBob: Yep, and he's British.
Patrick then talks to the splinter.
Patrick: (Chuckles) Hey little splinter, my name is Patrick.
Splinter: Oh really, Patrick. You must have been missing days in doctor school. You're not even a real doctor. A REAL doctor has experience and brains. You don't even have the right brain!
Patrick: (Gasps) Bad splinter, bad splinter! I shall pull you out!
Patrick takes the splinter again and pulls even harder. He fails again.
SpongeBob: Patrick stop! You're going too hard!
Patrick: Be quiet, buddy! I will not stop until this meanie is taken out of this place!
Patrick then throws SpongeBob on the floor. He continues to pull the splinter really hard. Then he accidentally slips on the sand floor and falls onto the splinter. This irritates SpongeBob's left thumb and makes it puffy like a marshmallow and more red. The splinter finally snaps.
Splinter: Alright that's it! I've had it with you two! I need someone professional to take me out of this prison! Someone like a crab! Come on, gentleman!
SpongeBob gets up quickly and his left thumb drags SpongeBob out of his house like an anchor on a ship. SpongeBob zooms out of his house and Patrick chases after him.
Patrick: Come back buddy! I'm not done yet!
Patrick chases SpongeBob through the night. They arrive at the Krusty Krab where they bust through the doors and enter the kitchen. SpongeBob and Patrick come to a stop.
Splinter: (Sniffs) I think I smell a crab!
SpongeBob: But you don't have ears.
Splinter: Quiet, you! It's true! Look!
SpongeBob and Patrick look out the window of the kitchen. Outside the windows of the Krusty Krab, they see Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Plankton are walking towards the front door. Mr. Krabs is carrying a board game.
SpongeBob: Hey splinter, you're right! Maybe Mr. Krabs can help me.
Patrick: Aw man! But I wanted to help you!
SpongeBob: Don't be sad, you can help me get better the next time I get hurt or sick.
Patrick: Oh, ok (Chuckles).
Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Plankton enter the kitchen.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Patrick! What the barnacles are you two doing here in the night!?
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs. I-
Then SpongeBob's left thumb drags over to Mr. Krabs, showing Mr. Krabs the talking splinter.
Splinter: Oh, thank goodness you're here my doctor! I need help getting out of this yellowish-red, swollen thumb!
Mr. Krabs: A talking splinter aye? It looks like I will help you then!
Splinter: Oh thank you, o'l chap!
Mr. Krabs puts down the board game on the floor. The he takes out his left claw and starts to pull out the splinter. Like SpongeBob and Patrick, it doesn't work.
Mr. Krabs: It looks like I need some help. Mister Squidward and Mister Plankton, help me pull out this splinter this instant!
SpongeBob: Because teamwork works!
Mr. Krabs: You got that right, Boyo!
Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Plankton proceed to pull out the splinter even more. The fail to do so.
Mr. Krabs: Wow, this splinter is in pretty deep. But I'm not gonna give up yet. I think it's time we call up a friend.
Mr. Krabs takes a phone out of his pocket. He dials Sandy's phone number. He then calls Sandy.
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, Sandy!
Sandy: Yes, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Me and my friends are trying to pull out a splinter, and it's really hard to get out. Can you help us?
Sandy: Sure Mr. Krabs. I'll be faster than a cheetah on roller skates going 70 miles per hour.
Mr. Krabs: Thank you, Sandy. (Hangs up)
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy. Your other friend Sandy is on her way right now.
SpongeBob: Alright!
French Narrator: A few minutes later...
A few minutes later, Sandy arrives in the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, holding an invention.
SpongeBob: Oh, thank goodness you're here Sandy!
Squidward: By the way Sandy, what are you holding?
Sandy: Why Squidward, this is the Splinter Eliminator 3120!
The Splinter Eliminator 3120 is an extended-arm grabbing holder which can easily pull splinters out in seconds.
Everyone excluding Sandy: Wow!
Sandy: Now, let's get to work!
Everyone excluding Sandy: Got it!
Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Plankton, all together now, pull the splinter out together. Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Plankton with their hands, and Sandy with her latest invention. They pull the hardest they possibly can. And finally, the splinter comes out. The splinter jumps out in mid-air, and everyone else falls onto the hardwood floor. The splinter lands on the floor and runs out the door.
Splinter: (Running) I'm free! Yay! Finally!
The splinter, finally freed from SpongeBob's left thumb, cheers happily as he runs outside to start a new life. But before he does, he gets crushed by the wheel of Mrs. Puff's boat.
Mrs. Puff: Oops, I'm in the wrong area.
Mrs. Puff backs up the boat and drives away.
Plankton: Well, it looks like our work here is done.
SpongeBob: Thank you everybody! Now I don't have the splinter anymore!
Sandy: Say Mr. Krabs, what's that board game you have there?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, its a good game alright! (Picks up the board game) Anyone want to play checkers?
Everyone breaks into laughter. The camera zooms out to the Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs: Stop laughing, I want to play!
The End