Women's quarter on the Thousand Sunny

Nami and Robin were currently busy getting dressed for the new day. Both beautiful women were glad that they had a few peaceful days at sea after the whole stress in the land of Wano. The black haired archeologist was currently busy tying her skirt close. She wanted to go with the outfit she wore when she arrived at the Sabaody Archipelago. Nami on the other hand, held two shirts in her hands, looking between them unsurely.

"Hey Robin, should I wear the red one or the yellow one?" Asked Nami her best friend. Robin looked at her and said "Either one goes well with your shorts, but I'd say the yellow one, it reminds me of Chopper" here Robin let loose a small giggle, which Nami joined. It was a well known fact that Robin loved everything that reminded her of Chopper. Nami pulled the shirt over her head, but she quickly started tugging on the collar. "Say, did I gain weight or are we washing our clothes too hot?" She walked outside, still pulling at the shirt in an attempt to make it a bit larger. "Why?" Asked Robin.

"Because it is freakin tight, that's why!" Complained Nami. Robin shrugged, not really knowing the answer and soon both women sat down at the table in the dining room to have breakfast with the rest of the crew. Like usual, Luffy got enough food to feed a whole family, while the other crew members got normal quantities of food. While the crew was eating, talking and joking, Nami was still tugging at her shirt.

"What's up with you woman? Caught some cooties or what?" Zoro, with his third mug of booze in his hands, looked at her funny. Nami just glared at him murderously and hissed "No you blockhead, it's my damn shirt. It is way too tight!" Zoro scoffed, downed his mug and said "As if your clothes aren't usually tight enough to be painted on your skin" This cheeky remark earned him a kick to the shin, but unfortunately for Nami, Zoro was expecting the attack, so he coated his leg in a thin layer of Haki. Nami hissed in pain and Zoro grinned cheekily at her "Same rights for everyone Nami. But seriously, if your shirt is as tight as you say, why don't you just wear a jacket like Robin or a button down like me?"

Every conversation at the table came to a stop. "Oi marimo" growled Sanji "Did you, a walking fashion accident, just give fashion tips to Nami-swan?" For once, Zoro didn't react to the insult, he just shrugged, refilled his mug and said "I'm just offering some advice. I know how she feels. Why do you think I stopped wearing tees and switched to kimonos or open shirts?"

Nami was slowly starting to see red. "Did you just say that you know how I feel?" Zoro nodded without a care in the world. "I do since my chest is a fair bit bigger than yours."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Roared Nami and Sanji together. Nami because she finally had enough of Zoro's (in her opinion) obvious sexism, while Sanji couldn't believe that Zoro had the audacity of claiming his stupid chest was bigger than Nami's and Robin's beautiful breasts. "Stop screaming you two, I said that I have the biggest chest girth on the ship" Franky opened his mouth and Zoro added "Of the humans at least. You are a cyborg and Jimbei is a three meters tall fishman"

"OH SO NOW THE ONE-EYED BROKEN COMPASS IS AN EXPERT FOR CHEST SIZE?!" Screamed Nami "LET'S CHECK IT!" She grabbed Zoro by the ear and Chopper by the scruff of his neck "Come Robin, let's put him in his place" And with that Nami left, with Robin in tow.

In the sick bay, Chopper pulled out a measuring tape. He looked at his three crewmates and said "You have to undress your torso and sit straight if you want proper numbers." Zoro shrugged off his Kimono while Robin started to unzip her jacket. Nami grabbed the hem of her shirt before she said "Wait Zoro-" but she stopped mid sentence, the swordmaster was already putting on a blindfold. Or in his case an eye-patch. Before he blinded his eye completely, he saw Nami eying his damaged eye warily. "What?" he asked "Think I will suddenly open my eye after keeping it closed for months, revealing some kind of beneath? This isn't a comic woman" and with that he put the eyepatch over his eye and was now completely blind. Nami had the decency to blush, she then quickly undressed herself and waited for Chopper to start the measuring.

"Ok Nami, sit straight and breathe out" she did as he said. After all this time, it was still weird feeling his hooves on her skin when the small doctor did a check up on her in his half-reindeer half-human form. "Ok, got it. Now Robin. Sit straight and breathe out" Robin also followed his command with a smile. Chopper wrote down the measurements of both women. "You can dress again you two, Zoro, sit straight and breathe out" Zoro followed and soon Chopper had all three measurements. He waited until the girls were dressed again before he told Zoro that he could remove the eyepatch.

"Ok your chest girths are-" "Wait Chopper" said Robin. Everyone looked at her. "How about a bet?" "A bet?" Asked Nami. "Jup" replied Robin cheerfully "If one of us two has the larger chest, Zoro will be our personal servant for a week." "Good idea" grinned Nami, sure that at least one of them would be bigger than Zoro. "And if against all odds Zoro wins…" she was trying to find a price that wouldn't be too embarrassing for her "You will remit the debt I supposedly have with you since Logue Town" Nami gaped. Forgiving Zoro the debt would make her lose over 10 Million Berries. But it was still way better than anything she could think of. Reluctantly, she nodded and all three shook hands to seal the bet with Chopper as a witness.

"Ok now, Nami, your girth is 98 centimeters" Nami grinned proudly, she knew her girls grew while she was on Weatheria, she was just curious how much.

"Robin, you have exactly 100 centimeters" Robin just smiled slightly, but internally she was doing a small victory dance, glad to have won against Nami in at least one body department. Nami was also happy, no way Zoro could beat this.

"And finally Zoro, you have 110 centimeters" Zoro grinned and stood up. He high-fived Chopper and laughed loudly, meanwhile Nami and Robin were devastated. 12 respectively 10 centimeters more? How could this be?

Zoro looked at the two pouting ladies and smirked "U mad? Maybe you should train a bit, then your girth gets bigger and you can do this" he then flexed both of his chest muscles, taking immense pleasure in seeing the two nearly perfectly square muscle blocks jump up. "And finally I no longer have to do what you say just because of a nonexistent debt. I'm off to the crows nest, if you want any advice on clothes for a big chest, you know where I am" he then walked off, still laughing.

Jep, today was a really good day to be Roronoa Zoro.

After I found out that Zoro has a bigger chest than Nami and Robin, this idea just wouldn't leave me alone. Hope you enjoyed my funny little one-shot.

Bye :D