Chapter Six - His Job

The next morning when they asked me my name again, I finally replied, "Tracy Miller". That earned me a smile and breakfast. Well, I would have gotten breakfast anyway, but still…

After eating, I found my mind wandering. Hospital food back home always tasted awful, but every meal I had here tasted pretty good. Maybe wizards had a higher standard. I wondered if house elves cooked the food here or if that was Hogwarts and privately owned slaves for rich snobs like Malfoy. I wanted to talk to one at some point just to ask them if they were happy. I would have tried to summon one right then and there, but I didn't know the names of any elves that might work for Saint Mungo's. I wondered if I'd see anyone today.

Lunch came and went, and still no one else stopped by. I wanted to talk about getting released. I already thought about what I would say. I was very good at convincing doctors I could leave. But no one came. So after a while I peeked my head out of the curtain. A man wearing a healer's uniform spotted me.

"Do you need anything, Miss? Healer Renfrew isn't here today.", he said, looking nervous.

Renfrew? Ohh, right, Melony. Maybe I should wait to ask about release until I see Melony again. In the meantime, I was bored. "Can I have some writing supplies? Muggle version if possible."

He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. "I'll see what I can find."

Some time passed, and he returned with a quill and parchment. I cringed at the idea of using a quill. I tried to learn calligraphy back when I was in school, but I could never make it look good. Maybe I could spend some time in my oh so busy day to practice making it legible.

"Thank you sir.", I said as he retreated.

I thought about what I was going to write. No, I was not going to write a list of all future events to come or all the horcrux locations. I wasn't insane… Well, maybe a little. Seriously though, why did every self-insert think that would be a good idea? Let me just write down all this highly dangerous information and hope no one gets curious enough to open the super secret notebook that I'm oddly protective of. I'm sure whatever privacy charms I or another student come up with will stop the likes of Dumbledore or Voldemort. Seriously, it's like those idiots were asking for trouble. No, I wasn't going to be stupid.

After setting up my writing space, I started writing. I wanted to write with all capital letters like I was used to, but I realized Tracy probably didn't write like that. A change in penmanship might go unnoticed, but writing in all capital letters would definitely be obvious. And so I began to write down every spell, charm, and other pieces of magical knowledge I remembered from the book. I'd append their incantations and wand movements if I remembered them. Line one would read:

Levitation charm - Wingardium LeviosaWand movement: swish and flick

Writing with a quill was already difficult. Writing using proper grammar with small letters was impossible for me. And so after using an entire page rewriting the same line, I gave up and used capital letters like I was used to. At least this way it was barely legible. I'm sure I'll come up with a good excuse when someone notices later.

It was after dinner when I finished my list. I excluded curses I shouldn't know like Snape's spell and the Unforgivables even though Moody taught them in DADA last year. I just didn't like the idea of them printed on paper. Besides, the purpose of the list was just to brainstorm and see how much I knew.

It wasn't a lot. Seven books, and I barely knew anything. I wished Harry Potter would have paid attention more in class. And would it have killed him to spend a little more time in the library and a little less time playing Quidditch? I mean, for a guy who's destined to fight Voldemort, you'd think he would take his magical education more seriously. His life literally depended on it. I was going to have to get my hands on some textbooks before the start of term, if I was even going to Hogwarts. Was I even a witch? Maybe I was a muggle. I definitely didn't have magic in my world.

That night, I was offered another dreamless sleep potion. Out of all the magic I used to wish was real, this was nearly at the top of my list. I was no stranger to nightmares. Needless to say, I took the potion when it was offered.

It was another two days before I saw Melony again. She looked a lot better. We talked more, as promised. I appreciated her candor when she suggested that I was just going through the motions, and she wished I would take a more active role in my recovery. I put in more effort, but it probably looked like more of the same BS, because she said, "You know, if they're going to let me keep being your mind healer, we are going to have to make a real effort."

This criticism made me feel angry. I was making an effort. I knew all the steps I needed to take. Who is she to tell me that I'm doing it wrong? "I've done this all before.", I snapped. I immediately felt guilty. "I know the process.", I added softly.

"I mean, just because you walk yourself through the steps in rapid succession doesn't mean you'll get better. Just getting this over with, your words, won't help you."

Again, Melony was right. I wanted help. I really did. I was afraid that if I stopped taking the dreamless sleep potion that I'd never sleep again. I was afraid the next time someone raised a wand at me I'd be cursed. I was afraid that I was so different from Tracy that I'd be abandoned. I was afraid that Death Eaters would realize I wasn't dead and come here to finish me off. I was afraid. I really needed the help. I just knew I couldn't get it here. I needed the outside world to distract me when Melony wasn't around. I needed to feel normal instead of sitting in this hospital. I needed to get out of here. Maybe I could be out-patient or get house visits from Melony.

I expressed these thoughts to her, and she nodded with understanding. "I'll see what I can do. Let's continue tomorrow. Maybe I'll have some good news."

The next day, I waited for Melony. Only when she came in, she wasn't alone. Beside her was Williams. The good mood I had seeing Melony come in quickly vanished.

"Good to see you again, Miss Miller. I needed to confirm some of the details in the account you gave. Your mind healer insisted she be present because of how you reacted the last time I spoke to you." Williams turned to Melony and added, "Try not to disrupt my investigation." I felt the sudden urge to punch this guy.

"Good to see you too, Auror Williams. I'm doing much better now. Thanks for asking. I did include every detail I remembered, down to the number of stones I skipped over while I was fleeing for my life." I practically spat out my words. I really wanted to punch this guy. I grabbed a fistful of my sheets.

"Ahh, yes, good. You still remember. That makes this easier.", he hummed. "You said that you left your wand under the streetlamp in a muggle neighborhood while you played with your brother. Can you confirm that?"

Out of all the details he could have asked about, he chose this one. Why was this so important? Maybe the Death Eaters took it, and now they can track them using my wand? I quickly discarded that idea. I remember the bag being untouched and forgotten.

"Yes, my wand was in my bag. I dropped it earlier by accident." I decided to confirm and see where this was going. Williams looked very pleased with himself. I wish I had kept my mouth shut.

"Thank you Miss Miller. With me witnessing your confession, the trial should go much smoother. I'm taking you in for breaching the statute of secrecy." He stepped forwards.

Thoomp Thoomp Thoomp

"Seriously? Are you kidding me?" I practically screamed my indignation. "Me? I'm the one who broke the statute of secrecy, not the Death Eaters apparating on my street, literally exploding my house and murdering my family? For fuck's sake, I'm the one you're arresting?" I grabbed the cup and flung it against the wall, wishing I could hit him. Control it, I urged myself.

Melony looked like she was going to be sick. Williams took out his wand in response to my outburst. I flinched when he pointed it at me.

Thoomp Thoomp Thoomp

"Calm down and come quietly, or I'll stun you. I'm not opposed to dragging you out unconscious." His eyes practically sparkled at the idea.

Melony took a step in front of Williams as I closed my eyes, trying to keep control of my breathing. A lump formed in my throat, and my eyes began flooding with tears.

"She shouldn't be out of the hospital. She's unstable.", Melony protested.

"The head of the ward said she's physically stable. Now step aside and let me do my job.", I heard him retaliate.

Melony stood her ground. "Are you really going to arrest the victim? What kind of monster even does that?"

I heard movement and snapped my eyes open. Williams had pushed Melony aside. "The kind of monster who is doing his job. If we could find the people who hurt her family, I'd arrest them too. But for now, Miss Miller admits to a crime. I take no pleasure in this." Williams was in front of me now, his wand still aimed at me. Took no pleasure my ass. It looked like he wanted me to give a reason to curse me. "Let's go."

Thoomp Thoomp Thoomp