Chapter 6: Draco's Choices
Notes:
Just a little flashback.
Chapter Text
Draco didn't know how long he stayed in his toilet room, and he didn't know how he was able to get away with it without anyone disturbing him.
But no one had knocked on the door while Draco's world was currently crumbling around him. Fortunately.
As soon as he was done crying after knowing the truth—that he was the ill-fated target the Dark Lord would do anything to find and kill—he stood up and leaned on the sink... and he just stared at his sunken face.
And after a minute of silence and a clear mind, his realization came.
He was having a baby. Harry's baby. He was going to be a father, and he was going through it all alone, with his parents and friends after him, and his baby daddy was fuck knows where, in a deep sleep.
And wasn't that just a Draco Malfoy-patented fate.
Draco was scared; he's not going to lie. So much. Draco wanted to say he felt nothing but happiness at the second he knew he was pregnant for future stories to his child if the Dark Lord gave him the chance, but he wasn't.
Everything about this was just wrong.
No one sane would have a child in the middle of the war. No one sane would let themselves be knocked up by the Undesirable No. 1.
Every consequence just assaulted him, and it made his head crack in pain. He had to hold his head for a little while and close his eyes.
But even with his eyes closed, he could see it as clear as day.
He and his baby before the Dark Lord's wand, about to be murdered, this time for real, even if his Mother begged and cried. Worse, his parents and friends might face the same consequence, thinking they might have known all this time and that they were accessories to Draco's crime.
Attacked by those ugly thoughts, before he hyperventilated and broke down again, Draco started thinking of his choices.
The way he saw it, he only had two choices.
The first and obvious choice was, of course, to abort the baby, as any sane person would choose. To end his misery and end his problem before it blew up in his face spectacularly.
But he couldn't because he didn't know how to. He didn't know how to do it without acidentally killing himself in the process.
And he didn't know whom to ask for help from because everyone, at this point, was an enemy of Draco. He could ask Madame Pomfrey because that woman's grit told Draco she would overlook his mark just to help him. To her, every student at Hogwarts was to be treated equally.
Draco knew how great the head nurse was, and she would be the one Draco needed in this exact situation he's in, even if she had many times in the past accused Draco of being a drama queen who mostly exaggerated everything. Anyway, he deserved those titles after milking his situations.
Then again, maybe she wouldn't, at the risk of being thrown into Azkaban. After all, getting an abortion without the necessary approvals was illegal. From the snippets of conversation he overheard from seventh-year birds in the Slytherin's common room, a pregnant witch needs the approval of her parents and the father of her baby before the attending physicians could perform the abortion.
Fuck wizarding's archaic rules, the brunette had said.
Draco agreed with her. Fuck those rules. Why would Draco or every pregnant witch need someone else's approval to do something about his body, their bodies? It's so illogical.
But even if he knew how, Draco couldn't. Draco couldn't stomach killing anyone, especially someone whose blood and flesh came from him and Harry.
He softly smiled when he felt a movement in his stomach, and automatically, his hand caressed his still flat stomach. Now that he knows he's pregnant, he's desperate to feel them.
Because somehow, in some ways, it meant he wasn't alone anymore, he wasn't, now he's with his baby.
He didn't regret everything he did with Harry. He didn't regret any of the choices he made. He didn't regret what they had because of their love.
The only thing he regretted was the timing of their baby and the situation.
Draco blinked when he caught sight of his stomach. He still looked normal, but he didn't know for how long he would still be able to fool everyone into thinking there was nothing odd about him.
He didn't know the spell to cast to know how far he was. And he couldn't trace the month of their conception. After all, he and Harry had been fucking every month since that night.
That wonderful night.
-
Draco, still out of his mind after witnessing catastrophic events in just one night—the Great Hall and Hagrid's Hut wrecked by his aunt's wand, Harry livid at their betrayal, and Dumbledore's death at the hands of his godfather, all were too much to Draco's weakening mental state—left the ballroom turning his back against the Death Eaters' celebration after explaining to his mother that he was exhausted and he wanted to go to sleep early.
No one paid attention to him, though. Everyone was happy, dancing, and celebrating at the expense of someone's death, especially the Dark Lord. He was smiling and laughing with his followers and his snake.
Taking advantage of the ruckus, he went to his personal safe haven, a place he discovered when he was 5, accessible by a dull-looking vase in his room. It was an accident. Out of anger at his parents because they wouldn't buy him a broom yet, Draco hid in his room and wished to be alone, that's when the Manor opened a secret room for him.
Over the years, he renovated the small room and designed it to be his home. He realized that the place was unknown to his parents, not warded, and unplottable, and even the Dark Lord, with his immense power, was ignorant of it. It was a special place that became Draco's haven when everything was too much—with the tasks and attacks.
Draco stopped just a foot outside the room when he heard someone pacing inside the room. For a moment, he thought his room was discovered and he had no safe space for himself anymore. He even considered going back to his room, never to come back here again.
But no, he had to fight for this. This is the only thing left for him.
Bracing himself with his wand, he took a deep breath and pushed the door open.
But the sight that welcomed him had frozen him. Dark, messy hair and green eyes. Draco felt unshed tears sting his eyes.
"Harry? What-"
Harry smiled, and because of the small space of the room, in just a second, Harry was in front of him, enveloping Draco in his warm hug. Draco was still standing rigid, his brain still absorbing the 180-degree turn of events.
Shouldn't he be sad? But Harry was here. And why was he here? Draco didn't know what to feel.
"Draco! I thought I could not see you anymore."
"But-"
Draco had many questions in his mind. Like, how come Harry was here hugging Draco with his face buried in his neck when Harry should be punching Draco for betraying him? Why did Harry look scared then relieved when he finally had Draco in his arms, like Draco was the only one keeping him sane and fighting to survive? Harry should be mad at him. He didn't deserve Harry.
But Harry was here. Merlin, Harry was here!
Draco pulled back a little, and with a quick look, to stare at his features Draco was so in love with, Draco finally shed his tears. "Oh, Harry!" And Draco did the very thing he was too cowardly to do.
He leaned in and kissed Harry with all he had, his lips moving frantically and passionately against Harry's soft lips. Draco smiled against their kiss when he felt Harry's arms tightening around him before turning him towards the bed until he felt its rail against the back of his knees.
Draco let Harry push him on the small bed and topple over him, sighing in relief when it was able to hold the both of them. His hands tightened around Harry's locks when he felt the latter seeking entrance, which Draco eagerly gave, whining when he felt Harry's tongue against his own and dominating every part of his mouth he could reach. Harry was eager and frantic, like Draco was an oasis after a week in the desert.
"I love you, Harry," Draco whispered against Harry's lips, nipping at his lover's lower lip and licking at the spots.
Harry smiled. "I love you too, Draco."
Draco knew, without those words from Harry, he just knew. The fact that Harry was here, sacrificing his safety just to be with Draco, was loud enough. But Draco still felt giddy hearing it from Harry.
"I'm so scared."
"I'm here now, Draco."
Draco calmed down, but he knew Harry was not only here for him. He was also here for himself. Their presence was for each other's benefit.
His questions would have to wait, though, because Harry was looking at him with emerald eyes full of hope and love.
Tonight, they both knew, was special. Whether it was because of their members hardening at each second Harry stayed on top of Draco or the burning passion enveloping them, they didn't know.
Harry was just waiting for Draco to give him the signal, so Draco made the first move by pulling Harry in for a passionate kiss, different from the kiss from earlier. If their first kiss earlier was full of longing, relief, and love, this one was carnal and animalistic, leaving no doubt of what they were about to do tonight.
They were both inexperienced, and Voldemort and adult problems left them no chance or time to explore sexually. But to Draco, their night was perfect because it was them.
Foreplays were at the back of their minds. Just as soon as Harry had pushed Draco to his first orgasm after fingering him, while masturbating Draco's cock, to prepare him, Harry lined up his hard member on Draco's wrinked hole.
Draco moaned, arching his back, when Harry rubbed his head against his clenching hole before entering him as slowly as he could. Harry groaned and trembled on top of Draco.
"You're so tight."
Harry was obviously inexperienced. His moves were frantic, thrusting wildly inside Draco, and it was obvious he didn't know how to find the spot that would have Draco screaming and sobbing, much less its existence.
But Harry was Harry. He was always good at everything, probably through dumb luck. So within a few seconds of Harry's wild thrusts, he made a sharp twist, and Draco was trashing beneath him.
"Fuck!" Draco screamed, his toes curling in delight, his dick was leaking. Draco was inexperienced, but he was well-informed, unlike Harry.
He read that having that spot fucked could light up your insides, and it did. Draco felt his body burning up, his lust through the roof, he was well stimulated.
Harry paused his thrusts for a little, shocked at the effect of what he just did.
"Fuck me there, Harry. Harder, please!"
Harry had no problem abusing the spot over and over again.
"Fuck, yes! Oh Merlin!" Draco cried. "Faster, Harry! Please!"
Harry nodded and raised Draco's legs until he was almost bent in half. Draco choked and began sobbing in pleasure when Harry started fucking him in earnest, turning faster at each second. He cupped Harry's cheeks and pulled him in for a rough kiss, whining against his lips.
"Oh fuck! I love you. I love you so much."
"I love you too, Draco. You're the only one. There's no place I'd rather be than here with you."
Soon, Harry's moves turned more frantic until they were directionless and he was trembling on top of Draco, and Draco knew he was coming. So Draco wrapped his hand around his dick and rubbed them as fast as he could to bring himself to the edge as well.
"Shoot it on me, Harry."
"Fuck!" Harry growled then and quickly pulled out from Draco to shoot his jizz on him. "Fucking Merlin, that's hot."
Soon, Draco was coming as well, with a shout.
Still breathless, they smiled at each other and softly kissed.
"How did you get here?" Draco asked as they paused to take a little rest. They were still both stark naked, their bodies covered in dried cum but they didn't mind.
Harry was behind him, caressing his fingers.
"Remember when you told me about this place?"
"I didn't know you'd come here. Not with the Dark Lord just above us."
"This is my only opportunity to see you again, and I'm not wasting it. No one can stop me from seeing you, Draco. Not even a noseless psycopath."
Draco smiled and turned his face to Harry to accept his soft kiss, smiling when he felt the tears rolling. "I thought you were mad at me. I was there when Professor Dumbledore- he-" Draco gulped. He didn't like the old man, but no one deserved to be murdered. "Harry, I'm sorry."
"Why? Don't apologize, Draco. It's not your fault."
"But it was my task."
"But you didn't do it. I was there, I saw you. You couldn't do it, Draco. So it was Snape who," Harry sighed and shook his head. "I know you couldn't hurt anyone, just as you couldn't hurt me back when I did this to you." Harry's fingers then began caressing his scars.
"I should've told you his plan. We could've changed all this. I could've helped you, but I was scared. I was a coward, Harry."
"I understand why you didn't," Harry moved Draco so he was entirely facing Harry. "You weren't a coward or selfish. You just did what you had to do to protect the people you love. You're just a kid who wants to survive. We both are, and I would've done the same thing."
Draco sadly chuckled. "No, you wouldn't, because we're different. You're so much better than me, Harry. So brave."
"We're the same, Draco. Brave in different ways. I for sure couldn't live in the same house with Bellatrix and snake face but you could."
"I didn't have a choice."
"And that's why you're brave. Surviving while you play the games of adults. We are just both pawns here, Draco. We should be enjoying our teenage lives, partying, dating, and making love whenever we want. So no, I'm not mad at you. I can never be mad at you. How can I? You're the most important to me, Draco." Harry picked up his hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of his hand.
Draco sniffed and pulled Harry into a hug, sobbing his heart out. He has someone beside him. He's not alone, and he will never be alone anymore. His heart was so full. Harry made him realize the beauty of what it's like to love and be loved in return.
"How did you find this place, Harry?"
"I guess when you're in love, one can do anything."
"I'm happy you're here, Harry."
"As I am."
It wasn't the last time Harry came to meet him. Harry had met with him twice in a month, or thrice if they're both lucky, but those meetings were more than enough for Harry to explore Draco's body and be comfortable enough that on the 2nd month and 5th time they met, Harry was comfortable enough to spank Draco as he plowed him from behind.
Draco groaned, arching his back. "More, please!"
When they're alone, they both could forget, even for a while, that they're in the middle of the war. And, they discovered more and more about each other's dreams, secrets, and true colors.
Like Harry was very kinky beneath his kind, golden demeanor.
On their 7th time, Harry was calling him names like "slut", "whore" that had Draco screaming, "I'm your slut, Harry!"
On their 10th time, Harry charmed the ceiling to reflect the bed. Then, after a much-deserved blowjob and rimming, Harry pulled Draco to lie on top of him, with Draco's back against his chest, and began to fuck him like that.
"Fuck, look at that, Draco! Look at that tight hole just sucking my whole cock." Draco moaned when Harry grabbed both his legs and spread them more so Draco could see how his hole—already fucked out and abused— would clench around Harry's cock, like it didn't want to let go of Harry. The sight before him was hot. He could see where they were both connected, he could see how perfectly fitting and snug Harry's big cock was inside Draco. It looked beautiful. He could see their bodies flushed together and the beauty in the contrast of Harry's tanned, muscled hand around his dick.
"Fuck. How I want to stay inside you."
"You can, though."
Harry sadly smiled. "I wish we had the time."
They couldn't. Granger and Weasley would be livid at Harry for leaving wherever they are to meet with Draco, someone they considered an enemy.
Draco was still shocked that Harry still found the time to see him during his Horcrux hunting.
"I'll go somewhere after this."
Draco blinked, he felt riddled with anxiety. "Where?"
"I already told you about his horcrux," Harry sighed. "Now that Professor Dumbledore's gone, it's only me who can get rid of the remaining horcruxes."
"What about the other members of the Light? There are other members, Harry. Far experienced. I'm not saying you can't do it, but alone, Harry-"
Draco didn't want Harry to go alone on his suicide mission. He didn't want Harry to go. He just wanted to stay with him, together, alone, and safe. Here in their safe haven while the world crumbled down around them. Maybe Draco was selfish.
"I know. But old Voldy's going to haunt me, anyway. Might as well hide and hunt for his horcrux along the way."
"What about Granger and Weasley? Surely they'll come with you, right? You need all the support and help you can get, Harry. You need them, especially Granger."
"Draco, I can't bear the thought of anyone dying anymore because of me. It wouldn't be easy without Hermione and Ron, but I can't let them come with me. Their lives will be on me."
Draco sat up. He couldn't take Harry being stupid enough to think of this plan.
"Why are you telling me this? Is this the last time-"
"No. I'm telling you this because, in case I didn't appear one day-"
Draco shook his head. "No. I hate that word. I hate how you're stupidly deciding and sacrificing yourself as if you're not worthy. Harry, whether they die or not, it's just- you are not to blame. This is war, Harry. People die. But you couldn't, because you're the only one who could stop this fucking war."
Harry sat up as well. "That's what I hate, Draco. Why do people have to protect me and sacrifice their lives just because of a stupid prophecy-"
Draco cups Harry's cheeks. "Harry, can't you see how important you are? Everyone believes in you because you're the only one who can fight the Dark Lord, not just because of the prophecy. You're the only one powerful enough to stop him."
"But I'm just Harry."
Draco smiled. "I don't know how you can underestimate yourself. You're brave, so powerful, loyal, and loving. Everything he wasn't. Everything you are right now didn't come from the Dark Lord or any prophecy. It's innate in you."
Harry smiled a little. "I don't think I'll still let Hermione and Ron come with me."
"If you don't want them, then, take me with you."
"I wish I could."
They both know Harry wouldn't. If it was iffy for him to bring Hermione and Ron, how much more with Draco? The most important person to him, the one keeping him sane. If Harry were to decide, he would hide Draco away from everyone just to protect him.
And Draco wouldn't. Because it meant consequences for his parents, and he didn't go this far just to see them die anyway.
That night ended with Harry fucking Draco.
But the next time Draco saw Harry was a month later.
"Harry!" Draco smiled and threw himself at his boyfriend. The past month, he was drowning in negative thoughts, and he couldn't even ask Harry if he was okay.
"Ron and Hermione are with me. Ron saw me sneaking out, and he told me the same thing you did, we wouldn't survive without Hermione."
"That's good."
Draco was glad his boyfriend was friends with true Gryffindors. Loyal and stupidly nosey.
"But how can you sneak out from them?"
"I don't know, but I just need to see you."
-
Draco blinked his thoughts out before he stayed here for another hour, reminiscing about his time with his boyfriend.
He needed to move fast and think of his own plan. To protect him and his baby.
It was insane how Draco suddenly just accepted his situation when earlier he was out of his mind, trying to make himself believe nothing was real and wishing Harry was cheating on him instead. It was a lapse in his judgment, his fear getting the best of him.
But Harry was right. He's Draco Malfoy. He's brave. And if there's anything that he's proven, it's that despite his unfortunate fate, somehow, someway, Draco was always successful.
With a newfound determination, he waved his wand to clear himself of any hint that he had just had a breakdown.
He needed to be tough for his baby.
He opened the door and stopped when he saw someone outside.