He scratched his head. "Just a moment ago I was on the Merry." He stroked his chin, thoughtful. "Is it a shipwreck? Hmm...yes, that must be it. There must have been a storm that somehow sent me on this island. But then why can't I remember it?" he huffed and put his hands in his pockets. "I must have hit my head somewhere. Oh well, better not think about it. Rather, let's see if there is anyone on this island who can help me."
He walked along the path and entered the forest.
A couple of hours later, he sat down on a rock, tired from the long walk. "Looks like there is nobody there." He searched one of his suit's pockets, finding it empty. "And I don't have any cigarettes either. Shit!" He got up and started walking again.
"I wonder if anyone else from the crew is here with me." Zoro's face came to his mind, and he assumed an absolutely disgusted look. "I only hope it's not moss head. Maybe..." His lips widened into an unrepentant pig's smile and he began to drool. "Maybe Nami-swan is here instead! And maybe Vivi-chan too! Oh, I hope that's the case! We could stay on this island forever, spending whole days..." His words turned into an incoherent set of grunts and giggles. The idea of being on a deserted island together with the two girls had lifted his spirits, as witnessed by a certain part of his body that had solidified in the meantime.
Later, he saw a clearing in the distance. He went closer to get a better look and saw, to his surprise, a human figure sitting on a rock and partially hidden by thick red hair. He narrowed his eyes and realised that the figure was naked. And not only that. Looking closer, Sanji noticed that it was a woman. He had no doubt: even at such a distance, he could recognise the typical feminine features very well. He shouted with joy and started running at top speed towards the woman.
"OH BEAUTIFUL CREATURE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ALL ALONE? LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF."
In a few seconds, he arrived next to the woman. The latter then stood up, turned towards Sanji...
"Hello, handsome."
"What the...what..."
...and it was only then that the cook almost had a seizure, realizing the horrific truth. Because what he had at first thought to be a woman, was actually a man. Now that he was close, he could very well see that those breasts were fake. He began to tremble and stepped back, noticing the other man's Adam's apple and his member (much larger than Sanji's, by the way) pointing straight at him, fully erect. A horrifying sight, to say the least.
"What...what kind of..."
"How nice! A new arrival!"
The cook turned and screamed in terror: other people like the one before him had come out of the forest. And they were all heading towards him.
"Welcome to heaven, handsome."
Sanji thought he hadn't heard right. "Heaven? What do you mean?"
"You're dead, blondie. And you will spend eternity here with us."
"Trust us, you are going to love heaven."
Sanji found himself surrounded by those beings, with their eerie smiles and hands stretched towards him.
"No...stay away!"
"But why, handsome? Relax and enjoy heaven."
"NO... THIS IS NOT HEAVEN! THIS IS HELL!"
"Come on now, take off your clothes and bend over. We'll take care of you."
The cook closed his eyes and covered his face with his arms. "No! Stay away, you monsters...AAAAAAHHHHH!"
"Stop shouting, you idiot! We are trying to sleep!"
Sanji opened his eyes again just in time to see a pillow hit him in the face. He pushed it away with one hand and looked around.
He was on his bunk, in the boys' room on the Going Merry, and his crewmates were looking at him with eyes half closed and slightly annoyed.
The cook blinked and realised what had happened. He sighed in relief and smiled. "Thank goodness, it was just a nightmare."
"And is that a good reason to wake us up, you damn ero-cook?!" roared Zoro.
"Shut up, marimo! You wouldn't be so stoic if..."
Suddenly, the door opened and a rather irritated female voice filled the room.
"What the hell is going on?!"
Nami was standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Behind her was Vivi, trying to keep herself upright despite her sleep. Seeing them, Sanji's heart filled with joy.
"Nami-swan! Vivi-chan! Oh my dears, if you only knew..." He jumped from his bunk and ran to hug the navigator, burying his face into her exquisite bosom. "My dear Nami-swan, if only you knew.." His sentence was cut short when the fiery redhead landed a mighty knee blow to his family jewels. He screamed in pain and backed away.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Sanji?" shouted the Cat Thief.
"He had a nightmare. It must have been something really terrible." Chopper said, yawning.
"Well, that doesn't entitle him to wake us up and act like a pig!" She turned to the cook, who had both hands on the injured area and was gritting his teeth in pain. "I'm warning you, Sanji. If you do that again, first I'll beat you up like a punching bag, then I'll raise your debt a thousandfold!" Then, she turned and closed the door, taking poor Vivi with her.
And then the male Strawhats, including Sanji, went back to sleep.
Nami was really furious, thought the blond cook as he placed his head on the pillow. Rightfully so, though. I will never again allow myself to ruin her precious sleep! Just before losing consciousness, he briefly thought back to the nightmare he had had. An island full of those things...brrr. Thank God such a place doesn't exist.
AN: This is a little something I wrote a few years ago, and which now has been translated and posted here. Thoughts?