Chapter 1: Still Feel

Satan's asshole.

If Craig had to describe how the summer heat in Colorado felt while he was single-handedly unloading all of his belongings from his car, those are the words he would use.

The noirette grumbled as he wiped the perspiration from his brow, turning to look at his childhood home. He had never thought he would be moving back in, yet here he was, in all of his sweaty, stinky, teen glory.

The brown house looked considerably smaller compared to his not-so-fond childhood memories. Although, Craig figured the house would think he looked considerably bigger than the last time it saw him. You know, if houses could think, and remember, and see. Craig hoped to god this house couldn't remember. He could practically hear the long repressed fights and secrets spilling out of the door and windows.

A buzz in his pocket withdrew him from his thoughts and made him huff. Houses can't remember. Apparently, neither could his father, who had promised to be there to help Craig unload his shit. The raven-haired teen glanced at his phone, grimacing at the screen being blurred with his sweat from his pocket.

Mom: "How's unpacking going? Is your father being helpful?"

Craig rolled his eyes and wiped the screen on his navy t-shirt before typing out a response.

"He's a no show good thing you gave me your old key or I would be locked out"

With a sigh, he shoved his phone back into the moist depths of his pocket and turned to close the back of his beat-up sedan. It wasn't as though Craig had an insane amount of things to move, it was more so that it was hot as balls and his father had yet again, disappointed. Although the latter was nothing new in Craig's life. From his early childhood to his parents' divorce, all the way to missing out on helping him move back in, Thomas Tucker was a disappointment to his son. He barely even knew his children, having had little to do with them after his wife got up and left after finding him in bed with another woman. Sure there was a visit here, a birthday card there, and the ever-awkward phone call on holidays, but Thomas didn't really try that hard to be a part of their lives.

Would that stop Craig from living with his dad rent free while he commuted to college an hour away? Fuck no.

Craig scuffled across the hot pavement to the front door, testing his key and giving an inward sigh of relief when it worked. He prodded the door open with his foot, snagging a few boxes of his clothes to carry in. He figured he would just shuffle all his boxes into the living room, and force his dad to help him carry them all to his room upstairs whenever he did decide to show up. Scanning the familiar living room, Craig noticed not much had really changed from when he had last been there, seven years ago. The faint smell of cleaning products made him scrunch his nose slightly. He had thought the house looked too clean for his father to be living in. He must've thoroughly cleaned before Craig arrived, a sad attempt at looking like he had his life together. Craig knew better than that.

With the last of the boxes shuffled into the living room, the lanky teen stretched his stiff muscles, groaning as a few of them popped. Unfortunately, with his arms raised, he had the unpleasant experience of getting a whiff of his body odor. All too suddenly, Craig was extremely aware of all the oil in his hair and the sweat on his face. He dug out his toiletries and a clean change of clothes and marched upstairs to the bathroom he and his sister had shared growing up. He threw on some indie rock to play through his phone speaker as he stepped under the shower head.

The cold water bit at his skin, but it was extremely refreshing compared to Satan's asshole outside. He lathered up some dollar store brand shampoo in his hands and dug his fingers into his scalp, scrubbing intensely. He paused, hearing the music fade out for a moment, signaling a notification on his phone. Probably his mom, or Tricia, fucking with him. It could be the fucking president, for all Craig cared, they could wait. He made sure to wash everywhere, and he does mean everywhere. Craig never liked the stinky part of being a teen boy. Frankly, he found the stereotype offensive, and also, he couldn't help sweating so much. Anyone would sweat in Satan's asshole.

Almost slipping on the white tile floor, the noirette let out a not-so-graceful string of curses, catching himself on the bathroom counter. He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist, snagging his phone and glancing at the lock screen as it lit up. The background picture was one of his favorite astrophotography shots he took when he joined the photography club in high school. It was a night when Mars was extremely visible in the sky, looking like a large, reddish-brownish star. A text hid the rest of the image from his sight as he typed in his password.

From: Tolkien Black

"Hey man, are we still on for tonight?"

Craig glanced at the time and muttered a quick "fuck" before texting back his friend quickly, and rushing to get dressed.

It had been seven years since he had last seen any of his childhood friends. He felt anxiety bubble up in the back of his throat. What if they hated Craig now? He couldn't really blame them for it. He essentially disappeared without a word to any of them. A particular spastic blonde came to mind and Craig chewed on his bottom lip. He wondered what Tweak would look like, now an almost adult like him. Shaking his head with a groan, he pushed the thought out of his mind for now. Craig just needed to focus on befriending everyone again, then he can worry about other things.

A slam of the front door closing downstairs pulled Craig from his daze and he heard the familiar deep voice of his father, "Craig? Are you upstairs son?" Thomas called.

"Yeah, Dad, I'm coming down," Craig called back, purposefully sounding exasperated. Thomas had ditched him and left him to move all his boxes by himself; Craig wasn't gonna let him get away without some guilt. The teen ruffled his hair with a towel, a poor attempt at drying it, but an attempt regardless. He ran his hands through the black mop, glancing in the mirror. Frayed, torn to bits. black jean shorts hanging down to his knees, and a black and bleach tie-dyed shirt. God, he looked like hot topic had thrown up on him, with his tattoo poking out from underneath his left sleeve and his eyebrow piercing.

Craig shuffled down the stairs and into the living room where Thomas sat on the couch. His father didn't look much different than the last time he saw him. Gray had started to seep into what little red hair he had left, but overall Thomas didn't look bad for his age. The tall man stood up to hug his son, which Craig returned awkwardly.

"Good to see you, son. Sorry I wasn't here, I thought you weren't gonna be here 'til later." Thomas patted a firm hand on Craig's shoulder as they parted.

"It's fine, Dad, I'm on my way out anyways," Craig mumbled, grabbing his keys and wallet off the coffee table. Thomas blustered, face growing slightly red.

"Do you wanna have dinner together tonight-"

"I'm eating with friends. Later." Craig swiftly cut him off, giving him a short salute with two fingers and marching out the door. He didn't bother to glance back at his dad's dejected face. Maybe he should've been there for Craig's childhood if he wanted to spend time with him. Too late, so sad, too bad.

Well, maybe Craig felt a little bad, but not bad enough to turn around. He spun his keys on his finger as he glanced towards his car. He could drive, but the pizza place was within walking distance from his house. Craig was also hurting for money, being currently unemployed, so wasting his gas probably wasn't the best idea. Luckily for him, the sun had begun to set and the heat that had been so intense earlier had turned into a pleasant afternoon. So after popping in a single earbud and turning on some music, Craig began his walk to the pizza shop.

The noirette hadn't been sure about reaching out to his old childhood friends suddenly after not contacting them for years, but Tolkien seemed to react positively and acted as though the others had to. Craig had insisted that Tolkien invite everyone, hoping his friend had caught on that he wanted Tweek at the gathering. Out of the whole friend group, the twitchy blonde was definitely the one he was most nervous about seeing. His "ex-boyfriend", if you could even call him that, from fifth grade, had no social media, at least none Craig could find.

The raven-haired teen felt a pit in his stomach form as he thought about meeting Tweek again. When his mom decided to divorce Thomas, Craig was shuffled into the car one night and driven to his grandmother's house, and he never returned to his childhood home after that. At the time, Craig and Tweek had been fake dating due to pressure from people in the town and their friends, though neither of them was gay. Well, Craig didn't know he was gay at the time, anyways. The shock of his family suddenly falling apart caused Craig to withdraw from everyone he cared about, including his friends and "boyfriend", so as far as they knew, Craig disappeared off the face of the planet without a word. By the time he had felt like himself again, he feared it was too late to reach out to them again, so he never bothered. A pussy excuse, he knew, but it was the best he had.

When Craig had decided to move back in with Thomas in South Park, he knew he would have to reconnect with some of his old friends. He couldn't just show up again out of nowhere, the town was way too small and he'd totally run into them, and then it'd be extremely awkward. Still, he couldn't curb the guilt eating away at him. Tweek had always been incredibly anxious, and Craig knew he had been a source of comfort for him. For him to just go and disappear must have been really hard on the blonde. Even though they hadn't really been in love, they had still formed a tight-knit friendship. They confided in each other, and Craig wouldn't hesitate to claim Tweek as his best friend. Now, who knows what Tweek felt about him? Hatred? Indifference? Craig couldn't decide which would be worse, but he knew he had run out of time. Lost in his anxious thoughts, he had already arrived in front of the pizza parlor. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, the teen pushed open the door and stepped inside.

(A/N): okayyy it has been a super long time since I've written anything, ESPECIALLY a fanfiction, but I'm trying to get back into it. A huge thanks to my three friends for beta reading this for me, you guys are all angels. Please please leave a comment if you like/have some constructive criticism. Until next chapter 3