Disclaimer: Any dialogue or characters you recognise were created by the superbly talented Martha Williamson.

It's my privilege to write about SSD, not my right!

This is my version of what if things had developed differently when Holly went back to Denver. There was always a chance that Oliver might restart his life with his wife again. What would have happened to Shane then?

Again, my sincere thanks go to my dear friend Rhonda Leighton Wronski for her beautiful support and input.

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What If…

The Mailbox Grille was illuminated with hundreds of twinkling lights and aromatic candles. It looked and smelled divine. Oliver had arranged it with the Grille staff in anticipation of his dinner with Holly. It was meant to enchant her and sweep her off her feet. Oliver didn't know what else to do to try to convince his wandering wife that he could change to accommodate her dreams and aspirations and make their marriage work. He was prepared to make allowances, overlook faults and ignore his own needs and dreams. He was prepared to sacrifice whatever he had to in order to re-start his marriage and his life again. He had been in limbo long enough and he was sick of it.

Every time his heart started to betray him as he remembered Shane, he would silence it with a sharp 'it's not honouring to God' reminder. He would do anything in his power to honour his vows and if the marriage finished tonight, it wouldn't be from a lack of effort on his part.

Holly arrived. Oliver couldn't help but realise why he fell for her in the first place. She was beautiful, breathtaking actually. She often made him forget everything by simply smiling at him with that flirtatious expression. She knew how to pull at his heartstrings and she was doing it again tonight.

They had a lovely dinner and the conversation flowed a lot easier than it had the night before when they met at the Brown Palace Hotel where Holly was staying. Apparently she had written a poem to give to him, but then they started dancing. She was very impressed with how well he guided her smoothly across the floor. He had used the dance lesson gift certificate she had given him for Christmas in their first year of marriage and he was now a confident ballroom dancer. "How did you do it?" She asked. "I had a lot of help." He said, immediately remembering Shane and the dance rehearsal at the DLO. He forcibly pushed the memory out of his mind with determination and focused on Holly. It wasn't hard as she was so enticing. He stopped dancing and slowly he lowered his lips to hers. It started as a quick, soft kiss but that was enough to ignite the old fire between them. Before he knew it, they were swept away on waves of desire and the kiss got more and more passionate.

She grabbed him tightly and she whispered in his ears "I had forgotten how you can make me feel… Oh Olly, I want you."

Before long, Oliver found himself in her hotel room where they made love all night long. He had been living the life of a monk and he didn't realise how starved he was and she was like a fresh, exotic buffet.

Saturday morning they made their way back to their home where Oliver thought life would resume its old pace and they would find their happily ever after.

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Chapter 2

Shane couldn't help it. She had to make her way to the Mailbox Grille as she had to know what was going on. She was almost beside herself with not knowing. It wasn't just curiosity, it was almost a matter of life and death… for her heart.

She stopped by the window and she saw them dancing. They were talking and he seemed pleased with what Holly was saying. Those were the same steps that she took great care to learn, that they rehearsed again and again until that last night in the DLO. It was the same dip that he did to her during the Christmas ball when he pulled her so close to him she was breathless. He seemed jealous that night. She could have sworn that he had feelings for her.

Oliver and Holly were smiling into each other's eyes. Then they stopped and he slowly kissed her. Shane's heart broke into a thousand pieces as she begged him not to kiss her… but he couldn't hear her. She suspected that even if he could he wouldn't have stopped as he seemed to be enjoying the kiss more and more. She watched for a few seconds but realising how deep the kiss was getting and how passionate the scene was becoming, she had to avert her eyes. She had to leave. She had to flee, not just this scene but Denver. Forever!

She stopped at the DLO to get her things. She lingered. She went around the office, touching everything lovingly and crying as she went. She stopped at the coat rack. His hat was still there. He didn't bother with the hat anymore but it still carried his scent. She picked it up and breathed in his scent deeply. She didn't know that just 24 hours earlier Holly had done exactly the same thing.

She sat in his chair and braced herself. She allowed her emotions to overcome her as she sobbed uncontrollably. She was surprised by the strength and depth of her sorrow. She hadn't realised until right this moment how much she loved him. How careless she had been! How had she allowed herself to fall so utterly in love with a married man like this? She went from sad to angry in a matter of seconds as she reproached herself: "Stupid, stupid woman! You didn't think that your meddling would drive him back into her arms, did you? Well, what are you gonna do now? You can't stay in Denver and you can't go back to DC." She fell back into his chair again and formulated a quick plan. She would contact Becky and get an immediate transfer to another city, anywhere would do. Becky was the only one who could help her now. She looked around the DLO. She couldn't leave without a word of goodbye to her dear friends. She took some of Oliver's stationery from his desktop, including the envelope and left a message to all of them.

"Dear friends, I can't tell you how much it has meant to me to spend this last year with all of you. It's funny the lessons that I learned about living by delivering a dead letter. About saying the things we mean and finding the right words to say them. But somehow I can't seem to find the words to express when I'm saying goodbye. Just know it's for the best. Always, Shane."

She then ran her hands lovingly over Oliver's letter openers and chose the one he loved the most and she whispered: "You can keep my Dark of Night Award and I will keep your favourite letter opener. Goodbye my dearest friend."

She fled through the night as if the whole city had turned against her. She wouldn't spend a single minute longer in this place than she had to. Denver had all of a sudden become too small for the three of them.

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Chapter 3

On Monday morning Oliver arrived at work with a mixed feeling of guilt, excitement and dread. First of all, he had no idea how he was going to tell Shane that he had reconnected with Holly. Second, he had remembered only this morning that today was her birthday. He had no gift for her. He felt terrible.

As usual Norman and Rita were already hard at work when he arrived. He noticed there was a different vibe between them. Something had happened! He said a cheerful good morning to both while divesting of his coat and hanging it on the coat rack.

They greeted him but stayed at the back of the office. They seemed a bit nervous for some reason. As usual Ms. McInerney was late. He sat down in his chair and then he spotted an envelope resting against the box of letter openers. He froze. It was Ms. McInerney's handwriting. He opened the envelope almost ripping it. What? No! No! It couldn't be! Surely not! How could she?

"Norman, Rita, where's Ms. McInerney?" He called out, almost shouting. They looked at each other and answered sadly. "We don't know, Oliver." Norman said. "All we know is that she's gone." Rita added. Oliver looked at the two of them as if they had sprung horns. "When?" He asked quietly. "Friday night." Norman replied. "What time?" He insisted. Again they looked at each other nervously as if they were almost afraid to reveal that information. "At about 11:30."

Oliver sat down heavily in his chair. He thought about it. 11:30 would have been roughly the time he kissed Holly, because he remembered they got to the hotel just before midnight. She had seen them, she had seen him kissing Holly passionately, he concluded!

They spent the day pretending to be busy; pretending they cared about the letters they were working on. They didn't! None of them could stop thinking about Shane. To make matters worse, Oliver's dad turned up the next day and Oliver lost it right in front of Norman and Rita.

Something bad happened to Oliver about his dad during the day and he became more and more distant. He would not talk about it with either of them. The only person who truly understood him, his intellectual equal, wasn't there to gently push him to do the right thing. So, he did all the wrong things… consistently!

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Chapter 4

Two months passed and it was obvious the DLO needed another tech support staff member. They hired Ryan, a 24 year old computer expert.

Ryan set up a huge amount of IT paraphernalia. Shane's steampunk desk had been pushed out of the way but Oliver refused to dismantle it.

Ryan lasted about a month.

When he left, he had an open and candid conversation with Oliver.

"Oliver, when I saw your ad for a computer expert, I expected more than just dead letters. I have such big dreams. I can't burry my dreams in Denver in a dusty little old office. I have the wings to fly and I won't be limiting my dreams by remaining stuck here."

"Yes, Holly, I understand."

"Excuse me?" Ryan looked at Oliver, baffled. Oliver looked at Ryan and was mortified at what had just come out of his mouth.

"Ahhh… I… I'm sorry, I meant Ryan. I understand Ryan."

With that Ryan was gone.

Rita became their computer person as long as all she had to do was some googling. They learned not to depend on her computer skills and they made do without it most of the time.

About 5 months passed. One day Oliver was having yet another one of the same tiring repetitive conversations with Holly that got them nowhere. He beat a hasty retreat to his den to find some peace instead of sitting with her in the living room. Most of the time when she wasn't complaining, she would put her head phones on to listen to poetry, so, it made no difference whether Oliver was in the room with her or not. He picked up one book after another, unable to focus on one in particular. Then his eyes landed on one about Paris. It wasn't one of his, so his curiosity was piqued. He opened it and a piece of paper fell out of it. It was the poem that Holly had written to give him on the night they dined at the Mailbox Grille.

"When life and adventure come knocking at your door, what would you do?

What would life look like to you?

Dressed in snow or sunshine?

Bringing flowers or a bottle of wine?

If life and love called your mane, wouldn't you go?

Wouldn't you embrace the chance of happiness though?

What if happiness had a name such as London, Paris, Cyprus or even Inverness?

Wouldn't freedom then be the best dress?"

He laughed at how pathetic the poem was but it clearly conveyed the message that obviously Holly had wanted out of the marriage. They had forgotten all about the poem when they started kissing. He looked back at the 5 months since they got back together. He was forced to admit now that there was no happiness in this marriage. He had been kidding himself all along in his strong desire to honour the vows and keep his commitment. All they seem to have nowadays was good sex and even that he was starting to question, as her wants in bed had turned almost bizarre.

He thought about Shane. He had never stopped wondering what had become of her. Rita never spoke about her. If she knew of her whereabouts she wasn't sharing it. He sighed deeply and smiled sarcastically to himself. You wanted your wife back, didn't you? Oh well, now you have her. How is that working out for you?

Another 2 months went by. Nothing had changed with the exception that now they hardly talked to each other, ever. They were more like flatmates than husband and wife. One morning he was making coffee, as usual by himself, since Holly always stayed in bed as he got ready to go to work, when he moved her handbag which had been sitting on the kitchen bench. An envelope with foreign stamps on it caught his eye. He moved it slightly towards him to look at the stamps. As a good post office worker he loved stamps. It was from Paris. He picked it up. The sender was a Dominic Laurent. He quickly put it back in the bag as he knew it was a federal offense to read somebody else's mail. He went back to making his coffee but now he couldn't stop thinking about that letter. He picked it up again and against all the rules he knew so well, he removed the thin piece of paper and looked at it. It was in French but he recognised two words: Oliver O'Toole! Without thinking he put the envelope in his breast pocket and left the house. He spent the whole day thinking about the letter he had in his pocket. He had no business reading somebody else's mail but this was his wife. He tried to convince himself that as her husband this was justified, not to mention that whoever Dominic Laurent was, he knew about him. He finished work for the day but he was in no mood to go home. He decided to grab something to eat at the Mailbox Grille. He sat alone and played with his food, pushing it from one side of the plate to the other. Oliver was so lost in thought that he didn't notice an old friend approaching him. "Ovilear, my friend, how are you?" "Ramon!" Oliver smiled. "You seem lost in thought." Ramon said placing a hand on his shoulder and Oliver smiled sadly. "Yes, lost indeed, not just in thought." "Ovilear, do you need a friend right now?" Oliver realised instantly that Ramon was the perfect answer to his dilemma and for this occasion. "As a matter of fact, I do, and you're the perfect friend I need right now." "I'm at your service." Ramon said with a broad smile and sat down opposite Oliver. Oliver took the letter and handed it to him. "Could you please, translate this for me, Ramon?"

Ramon picked it up and looked at the name on the envelope. "Ovilear, this is not your letter." "Please, Ramon, I need to know what it says, please." He said pleading. Ramon read it quickly and asked: "Are you sure you want to hear this?" Oliver looked into Ramon's eyes with a mixture of nerves and doubt but said firmly. "Yes, I do. Please." "Do you want me to translate the whole thing?" Oliver just nodded.

"Ok, here we go: Mon petite cheri Holly, I miss you. How can you bear being away from me? I certainly can't stand this separation much longer. Everywhere I go, I see you in everything. Our friends miss you too. I'm giving you another month to get this situation resolved and if you're not back then, I'm coming to Denver! I'm coming to get you. Trust me, I am no Oliver O'Toole, I will not sit here waiting for you forever. Mon cheri, please come home! But please, this time come with signed divorce papers. With all my love, Dominic Laurent."

Ramon put the letter down and looked straight into Oliver's eyes. "Ovilear, my friend, it's time!" He got up and put one hand on Oliver's shoulder again and said: "Enough is enough!" With that he went back behind the counter to serve other customers.