Ellie felt someone shaking her. She eyes pinned open in fear of who it could be. Noticing the woman staring back at her, all started coming back to Ellie. She wasn't on her own now, she didn't have to worry. Finally, she had someone who would protect her. Someone who would look after her.
"I know you are sleeping but I need to keep waking you up in case you have a concussion" Stevie explained, and Ellie nodded. Cautiously, and slightly anxiously, Ellie sat herself up.
"You can go back to sleep if you want" Stevie encouraged as she lay down beside the girl and put her arm around her shoulder. Ellie glanced nervously at Stevie.
"What do you want?" Stevie asked noticing the girl's hesitance.
"I'm kind of hungry but I'll be okay" Ellie admitted. Stevie cursed, the girl had only been in her care for a few hours, and she'd already forgotten to feed her.
"I'm starving too" Stevie said, "But I'm way too lazy to cook tonight so shall we just get a takeaway?"
Ellie nodded. She couldn't remember the last time she had a takeaway.
"What do you fancy?" Stevie asked and Ellie shrugged. She really didn't want to be difficult.
"You pick" Stevie said handing the girl her phone having already opened Just Eat.
"Can we have an Indian?" Ellie asked nervously, "We would always just get a chipper or pizza at Derry House".
"Of course, I love an Indian" Stevie said, "What curry do you want? We'll get a Meal for 2. It will leave us leftovers as well".
"I don't know" Ellie replied, "I liked tikka masala".
"Fab, do you want to get that and then I'll get a bhuna and you can try some of mine too. If you like it, we can share the curries" Stevie suggested, and Ellie nodded.
"But what if I don't like it?" Ellie asked not wanting to get into trouble.
"Well, if you don't like my curry, you can just have your own and if you don't like your curry either I will make you something. I have plenty in the freezer and fridge that I can heat up for you" Stevie explained hoping to calm the girl down. Ellie nodded, that made her feel better. She just didn't want to be a hassle. She sat on the bed and moved out of the duvet. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged herself tight deep in thought.
Stevie quickly put the order through on her phone and decided to get it delivered instead of going out for it. She moved to grab the remote and change what was on the TV. She had watched two episodes of a series she had been watching whilst Ellie had slept.
Suddenly Ellie jumped out of the bed and screamed.
"Hey, what's wrong" Stevie said grabbing the girl's hands as she watched her jumping up and down screeching. She really hadn't been expecting it, but her view hadn't even been on the girl.
"I smell like him. He's all over me" Ellie cried, and Stevie understood.
"Right, you can wash" Stevie explained. "I'll run you a bath and you can put this waterproof bag over your cast".
Stevie's calm matter was helping the girl. They walked into the bathroom and Ellie watched Stevie's every move.
"Take your clothes off" Stevie said, "I'm not leaving you with this arm".
Ellie started shaking her head.
"No, no, no" Ellie said walking backwards against the wall.
"Ellie, come on. I've seen you naked. I helped you in the hospital" Stevie said "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm not going to look, I just need for you to be safe".
"But you just helped me pull up my pants and joggers. You didn't actually see there and only Faith did but…" Ellie started ranting. However, her eyes were down and not evening looking at Stevie.
"And Faith didn't say anything, and neither will I. I'm not even looking. I just want to help you get into the bath without hurting yourself anymore" Stevie explained.
"But I don't know if what's happening down there is normal or if I'm weird" Ellie admitted nervously.
"I can promise you now, you will be perfectly normal. Everyone is different. I will explain exactly what is going on later, I promise" Stevie said and nervously Ellie nodded. She quickly took off the joggers and top given to her by Stevie. She then pulled off her pants before climbing into the bath.
"Good girl" Stevie said taking a hold of the girl's arm above her broken wrist to help her into the bath. Stevie turned around and got her body wash and shampoo. She placed it on the side.
"Do you want me to do your hair?" Stevie asked and Ellie nodded. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had ever done her hair. Stevie lavished the shampoo on her hands and started massaging the shampoo into the young girl's hair. Ellie relaxed her head back letting it fall into her aunt's arms.
"No falling asleep on me" Stevie said feeling the girl relax. Ellie smiled.
After rinsing the shampoo, Stevie gave the girl 5 minutes alone to clean her body before coming back into the room.
"Let's get your out and dried" Stevie said, "The Indian shouldn't be long."
Stevie wrapped the girl in a towel and helped her out of the bath. They quickly dried and then Ellie put her pyjamas back on. Stevie towel dried the girl's hair before running a comb softly through it. She'd dry it after they ate. Just as they exited the bathroom, the doorbell rang.
"That'll be the food" Stevie said as she quickly pressed the intercom to allow the delivery driver up the stairs.
"Can you go into the kitchen and get two plates and cutlery" Stevie asked, and Ellie nodded. She didn't know where any of it was, but her aunt would be right behind her. Stevie answered the door and went into the kitchen with the food. She grabbed the plates whilst Ellie got the cutlery.
"Thank you" Stevie said smiling at the girl. She opened the bags and put all of the food out.
"Help yourself" Stevie said as she gave the girl the rice. Ellie put some on her plate and nervously looked at curries.
"Try the sauce with your finger. If you don't like it, I can make you something else. It isn't a problem, I promise you" Stevie said encouragingly, and Ellie nodded. She did as her aunt said and it turned out that she loved them both. Stevie helped her dish up her curry and got her naan and poppadom as well.
"Eat what you can" Stevie said, "If you are still hungry, you go up for more."
Ellie nodded before following her aunt to the living room.
"Do you fancy watching this TV series with me?" Stevie asked as she showed the girl a series which she had saved to watch. Ellie nodded enthusiastically and sat on the sofa.
Instantly, Ellie started eating and Stevie smiled, then became worried.
"Ellie, when did you last eat?" Stevie asked. Ellie shrugged. She honestly couldn't remember.
"Yesterday, I didn't want breakfast this morning because I knew John was working so I was nervous and then it all happened before lunch" Ellie explained.
"Oh sweetie, you will be starving now" Stevie said, and Ellie shrugged. She wasn't too bothered now that she was eating. Stevie watched the girl carefully for another minute before turning her attention back to her food and watching the rest of the episode.
"Do you want a bit more?" Stevie asked as she noticed Ellie was finished. Ellie nodded before getting up and helping herself to some more. She didn't have to be scared anymore; this was her family. This for her safe place.
Stevie listened out to make sure that Ellie was managing before settling when the girl came back.
"I'm gonna get some more too" Stevie smiling at the girl as she walked passed.
Once they were both full, Stevie put some of it away as leftover and the rest in the bin. Stevie returned and snuggled up with the girl on the sofa as the new episode started.
"I don't want you to feel I'm putting it off or I'm not going to speak to you about everything that happened because I swear on my life that I will. I just feel that you are too tired tonight. Do you agree?" Stevie explained and Ellie nodded.
"If you wake during the night and you want to speak then, then I will. If you are watching this episode and suddenly something comes to your mind, then ask me. It's not just going to be a one-off conversation, not about the changes you are going through or what has just happened to you. I want you to know that you can always speak to me about anything," Stevie said, and Ellie smiled.
"I'm sorry if I'm not going to be any good. I've never had someone. I'm used to keeping everything to myself. I don't want to fail you" Ellie admitted nervously.
"You will never ever fail me" Stevie said, "I just want you to be happy, and I know that is all your mum would want too".
Ellie nodded and snuggled closer to her aunt. Stevie was proud of the girl for admitting her fears, that couldn't have been easy for her. She was still nervous and unsure, but Stevie was sure that she'd help her be herself again.
They drifted into a soft relaxed silence as they watched the rest of the episode. By the end of the episode, Stevie glanced down and noticed that Ellie was asleep.
"Come on" Stevie said, "Let's get you to bed."
Stevie softly woke Ellie up, just enough so that the girl could drag herself to bed. Stevie kept a tight hold of the girl and nearly lifted her off her feet to get her to the bed.
"Let me get into my pyjamas now" Stevie said as she pulled the covers up over the girl who instantly curled up in them to go to sleep. Stevie laughed, she quickly changed into her pyjamas before nipping to the bathroom.
She exited the bathroom and laughed noticing Ellie was almost in the middle of the double bed.
"And where am I meant to sleep?" Stevie asked laughing as she climbed into bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, the girl sensing someone was there detached from the duvet and clung to her aunt.
Stevie laughed. Normally she hated anyone touching her after she slept but it was different with Ellie. She wasn't sure why, but I was just different. Stevie drifted off to a gently sleep.
Stevie's sleep was interrupted by a scream.
"No, get off me" Ellie shouted thrashing about in her sleep. "I said no, get away from me".
Stevie gently shook the girl awake, not wanting the girl to harm herself. She noticed it was going to be slightly more difficult as the girl didn't appear to be awakening easily.
"Come on Els, let me help you", Stevie begged. Ellie's eyes pinged open.
"Hey, I have you" Stevie said as she pulled the girl into her arms. Stevie rocked the girl until she had calmed down considerably. Stevie was planning to stay awake until the girl drifted off to sleep.
"I don't understand how anyone would like the thing he was doing to me" Ellie muttered nervously into her aunt's chest. It felt like a safe option; it gave her aunt the choice as to whether to have the conversation or not. It wasn't put all down to Ellie.
"Hey" Stevie said tapping the girl's chin to get her to raise it. If Ellie wanted to have a chat about it, then Stevie was more than willing to chat about it.
"You said no, you didn't want to have sex. You didn't have any turn ons and this guy was forcing you. That is not sex, sex should always be about pleasure" Stevie said. "When your hormones have settled from entering puberty, you will probably feel different. It's a nice feeling, a needy feeling of wanting sex. Don't let what happened put you off from every feeling that way. Sex is good, honestly. But only when you both want it".
Ellie nodded. She felt better now. She needed one conversation for her to really trust her aunt, to feel that her aunt was there to help her.
"We will be having many conversations about sex as you get older, especially given what you have been through. Having a serious relationship and starting to explore sex and all the things that go with is, is complicated for a teenager, it's even more for one like yourself who has gone through so much. Always remember to speak to me about it. I'm not trying to embarrass you; I never want to do that. You understand that don't you?" Stevie asked and Ellie nodded.
"Is it only sex when he did what he did today?" Ellie asked. "Do the other times not count?"
"Woah, don't you dare think that. Every time he touched you or did something that you didn't like was abuse" Stevie said wanting to make it clear. "Every time he touched you in a private place with anything or even looked there, that is sexual abuse. What he did to you was horrible and he will be punished for that."
Ellie nodded as she curled into her aunt. That was all she needed, she just needed some confirmation. She felt a bit better now. She felt like her aunt was definitely on her side now. She needed to know that she really cared.
"Does that help?" Stevie asked supportively and Ellie nodded.
"I just needed to know that you were on my side, I suppose" Ellie said feeling slightly embarrassed. She didn't want her aunt to think she didn't appreciate all her support.
"I will always be on your side" Stevie said taking a hold of her niece's hand.
"I suppose I knew that from the way you were at the hospital but I just kind of needed to hear you say it. It has shown me that you were listening to me and it's helped. It's helped me realise that you care" Ellie said and Stevie nodded.
"I definitely care" Stevie said kissing the girl on the head. Ellie slid down slightly and started drifting back to sleep. Stevie glanced at her phone and noticed that it was 6am, she was glad that she was off today as she really hadn't gotten much sleep. She noticed that she had a few text messages and quickly replied to them. She saw one from Faith.
"Hey, are you free to talk?" Stevie asked as her friend answered her phone.
"Yeah, I'm just finishing getting ready for work. I'm about to have some breakfast" Faith said.
"How is Ellie?" Faith asked and Stevie sighed.
"I don't know. She woke up having a nightmare and we kind of spoke for a bit. I don't know if I said the right thing. She's so anxious around me now" Stevie said, and Faith sighed.
"You need to trust yourself. I'm sure you said the right thing. What did you talk about?" Faith asked.
"She doesn't get how sex can be good when it felt the way it did for her. I explained that she's not ready, that it shouldn't feel good for a 12 year old. She then asked me if only what he did today was bad. I hope she understood when I told her that it was all abuse and sexual abuse" Stevie ranted off to Faith who listened carefully.
"It sounds like you covered it all really well. She'll be anxious because it's all new for her. She will be so confused. That's normal. She'll be anxious for a bit and then she'll settle, and it'll be like a honeymoon period. Then she'll start chancing her luck with you and then she'll be a proper teenager. There is no timeline, some of the stages might be shorter, others longer. You just don't know. The main thing is that she knows that you are always there for her" Faith explained, and Stevie nodded. Her friend was correct.
"You are right, thank you" Stevie said instantly feeling better.
"Right, well you need to get some sleep because it sounds like you are shattered. Text me, if you need anything else though" Faith said and Stevie nodded.
"I will do" Stevie said before hanging up. She looked down at Ellie and smiled. She snuggled into the girl and drifted back to sleep.
Any ideas please let me know! I'm a bit unsure of where to go next so please let me know where you want to see the story going :)