Chapter Summary

After a nightmare, Brahms retreats to his attic room. What he didn't realize was that Ruby would follow when he leaves as suddenly as he does. Canon-Divergent/AU

Notes

*pats the google doc* This bitch can hold so much plot. TW for mention of suicide/parent death, emotional distress, and negative thoughts.

Brahms was racing through the house, checking every nook and cranny he could. Ruby hadn't woken up next to him this morning, something that had never happened before. He'd barely had time to scramble for his mask before taking off, checking the kitchen and bathroom for her first.

She wasn't there.

Before Brahms knew it, he was shouting her name, his search growing more frantic as he started fervently examining the walls- somewhere she'd never gone, had promised she wouldn't unless he was there to guide her so she wouldn't get lost.

It's only when he reaches the attic window and sees a car's fading silhouette in the distance, that he realizes what's happened, collapsing to his knees as his grief shakes the walls.

He'd been wrong about her. Her promise to stay had meant nothing, and he had once again found himself alone, his home crumbling to bits around him.

Waking with a start, Brahms breathes heavily as he realizes it was all a dream. He can feel Ruby's warmth beside him, his hand on her waist and the soft weight of hers over his…it's enough to center him as he shakes away the lingering horror of his dream.

His grip tightens, and he pulls her even closer than usual before pressing his forehead against her shoulder. He just needs to hold her, and to reassure himself she's here. He needs to be reminded that she's not going to leave him.

What he didn't expect was her sleepy-soft "Brahms? My darling, are you ok?"

He can't talk about it. Not yet. Swallowing hard, he finds his voice long enough to answer. "I'm fine….go back to sleep, my Ruby." Taking a deep breath, vanilla and raspberry flooding his senses, he relaxes just a little.

It's still not enough.

Grimacing, he pushes himself up and away from the bed, walking across the room amidst the darkness and towards the panel in the wall. Brahms doesn't dare to look back when the soft rustle of blankets and squeak of bedsprings signal that Ruby is sitting up.

He hates doing this to her, but he leaves without a word, retreating to his attic room. It's been his safe haven for so long, and old habits die hard.

He can only hope she'd forgive him once the sun rises.

To say that Ruby was concerned would be an understatement.

In the weeks since they had begun to share a bed each night, he's never left her like this, not without a word.

"Brahms? I'm going to take off my mask and turn on the light, okay?"

There's no reply, and it's enough to make Ruby chew on her lip in thought.

"Brahms, if you don't answer by the time I count to ten, I'm doing it without waiting any longer. One, two, three…."

Only silence greets her, still. Ruby keeps her word, counting and then pushing it up onto her forehead, scanning the room, her eyes adjusting to the darkness easily enough. It's only when she spots the wall panel sitting ever so slightly ajar that she realizes where he went.

She should leave him be- she knows that. She promised never to search the walls, but her concern has her getting out of bed to find her sneakers- that's a mistake she'll only make once- before finding out that he left his mask behind in the process.

She makes a point to grab it before she goes, just in case.

Brahms can hear Ruby coming up the ladder, her footsteps nearing him. She isn't particularly noisy, though- quite the contrary.

The detection of her presence was more so due to the soft tings and pings of glass on metal, letting him know that she's bringing the mask with her. Brahms hadn't even thought of it, but as he covers that side of his face with his hand and she nears, he knows he won't need it often after tonight.

It's time for all remaining secrets to come out.

Ruby pauses when her eyes are level with the floor, refraining from looking at Brahms before he's ready.

"Sorry for following you when you wanted to be alone, my darling. I was worried when you left as suddenly as you did." She smiles softly, holding up his mask. "I brought this, and I can pull my eye mask down if you want as well…or- I can leave?"

"Please don't leave," Brahms replies softly, subconsciously reaching towards her with his free hand. He only seems to realize now that she's averted her eyes out of respect, and it draws the smallest smile from him as he continues. "You can look….I'm covered for now."

At his permission, Ruby glances up, only moving to stand in the attic completely then. She steps forward, placing his mask on the bed next to him before looking around, spotting the last of her missing blankets draped over something on the rocking chair.

Before Brahms can stop her, his hand barely missing her wrist as she moves, she goes to gather it in her arms…only to reveal a burlap doll, wearing her missing dress, the metallic stars that decorate it shining despite the dim lighting of the hideout.

For a moment, she's quiet, and then she looks back to him.

"I'm glad my favorite dress was simply up here, and not lost forever. It's nearly impossible to replace." Ruby's tone is gentle and patient, her form moving back towards the bed before she sits beside him, draping the blanket over them both.

Still in silent contemplation, Brahms wraps his arm around her and sighs softly. "You're not weirded out? It…was a stand in for you."

"And the doll outside the walls was a stand in for you. It's a parallel, and not one I find concerning. I do wish you'd picked a different dress to take though- I was kinda sad when I thought I'd lost this one."

"Sorry. It was partially to keep you from going out with Malcolm…" He admits quietly, shifting to rest his head against hers gently and dropping his hand into his lap.

Brahms knows that Ruby might want to look now when she notices. Even so, he trusts her not to pull away in doing so she proves him right when all she does is reach for his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm hoping you two will be on better terms one day- it would be nice to have him as a friend to the both of us, instead of just me."

He gives a non-committal hum, though he can almost picture it. The three of them, laughing and joking and playing board games together, Ruby at his side and Malcolm seated across from them.

It's a nice thought- one he can accept as a potential possibility. It feels like a pleasant one.

They stay together like that for a little while, quietly enjoying each other's company as the nightmare fades fully from Brahms's mind, Ruby's thumb gently rubbing circles atop his hand and gently pulling him back to reality.

"I hope your parents don't make me leave when they get back," she comments softly, if a little suddenly. It makes him shift uncomfortably, before he sighs.

"They're not coming back."

He can feel her tense, automatically wanting to sit up and look at him directly but choosing not to until he sits up fully, his grip on her hand tightening.

Only then does she turn to face him, her eyes taking in the scars with a mix of horror and concern

He knows her well enough by now that even before she leans forward to press her forehead to his, that she was devastated from the damage, more than anything.

"My darling, we can discuss that later if it's too much for tonight. This is already a big step, and one I'm so proud of you for taking." Ruby punctuates her sentence with a soft kiss, her lips against his cheek for a brief moment before the two lock eyes again.

"No, you….you deserve to know." Brahms swallows hard, pulling away a little to grab the letter from his parents and hand it to her.

He's read it enough times to memorize it, and can practically hear her reading it aloud now, though she stays silent while scanning the paper.

Our Dearest Son,

Words cannot describe our heartbreak as we leave you now. We will not be back. We simply cannot bear to live with what we have allowed you to become. The girl is yours now. She is yours to love and care for. May God forgive us all.

Love always, Mummy and Daddy

Ruby seems to read it twice, as short as it is, before looking towards her lover.

"My darling, when did you get this letter?" Even now, well-aware that she was essentially a sacrifice aside from her namesake, she isn't angry. Her voice remains soft and sweet, love seeping into her every word.

"...Three weeks after they left." Brahms replies, internally flinching at how much time has passed since then- he and Ruby had been building their relationship for over a month now, and he had yet to tell her something as major as this.

Brahms doesn't meet her eyes as she sets the paper down, tenderly embracing him like before.

"I'm so sorry, my darling. I'm sorry that they did that, and that you've had to deal with it alone for so long. I can't imagine what it's like losing parents- they clearly cared about you in their own way…even if I disagree with how they went about things, I can see that much."

Brahms melts into her touch, listening. "You aren't mad that I didn't tell you sooner? It's…something that impacts you, a lot."

"I'm not mad. It's something that would be hard to tell me to begin with…a lot of worries tied up in it." Ruby is a little concerned about what this means for the future, especially if the Heelshire's deaths mean that they will have to leave.

She hopes not. Having to force Brahms out of the only home he's ever known would be the last thing she could ever want.

They would figure it out, if it came down to it. Ruby is certain of it.

She would hate to see her lover hurt to that extent.

"A lot of worries….yes. I….was worried you would leave me, if you knew," Brahms replies after a moment.

It's a statement that has her sitting up, facing him in confusion.

"Brahms, why would I ever leave you? I love you."