Chapter Summary:
Ruby discovers a firepit in the backyard, and shortly after, that Brahms has never had S'mores. Clearly, she needs to put her American Influence™ to good use so he can try the sweet treat. Canon-Divergent/AU
Notes:
We're going to just gloss over the fact that graham crackers aren't really a thing in the UK for my own sanity, ok? I spent over an hour trying to figure out how to make it work spur of the moment and just ended up screaming into a pillow because there's no indication Amazon delivers to Heelshire Manor, and they wouldn't be able to be delivered until the next day if they do.
The spontaneity is at least 75% of the vibes for this fic, so that wouldn't have worked. I tried, I failed, let's just gloss over it and pretend please. I know there's bound to be some other inaccuracies in this series despite my search history, and this is just one of them. CW: Violence and making fun of a burn victim, Entitled Man
"I feel like this is personal,'' Brahms teasingly announces, holding a shirt up. Ruby's confused, until she turns to look- only for him to be holding the worn-to-perfection shirt that proudly proclaims 'Why Are You So Obsessed With Me?' across the front.
Biting back a laugh, she shakes her head. "It's a quote from a movie. Found it in a thrift shop and planned to use it for just pjs, but it's a super comfy shirt so it became an everyday one instead."
He considers this, before he grins, tossing it to where she'd been sitting on the bed.
"Wear it today, then. And we should watch the movie the quote came from tonight, after dinner"
She laughs, catching the shirt and pulling it on, more than happy to make her lover happy in any way she could but especially in a way she can so easily do.
"Why do I get the feeling this will be a sort of joke between us now?" She asks playfully, and he grins.
"Maybe it will. You're the only girl I know worth obsessing over, after all"
"I'm the only girl you know right now, you dork"
The phone rings, the jingle of the landline echoing through the house. Setting aside the spatula she's using to flip grilled cheese sandwiches, she grabs it, tucking the receiver against her shoulder to hold it in place.
"Hello?"
"Hey Rubes." Malcolm's voice comes through, sounding more tired than she's ever heard him.
"Hey! What's up? You almost never call- it's gotta be important if it can't wait 'till we see you in" She pauses, glancing at the clock. "Like…two hours?"
"That's why I'm calling…I got food poisoning, I won't be by today"
"Oh! I hope you feel better soon, food poisoning is rough" As she talks, Brahms comes down to see if lunch is almost ready, and she smiles, mouthing 'Malcolm' when he sees her on the phone. He nods, though he's clearly curious.
"They're offering to send a substitute driver to bring groceries…might be a few days before I can make it out there. Don't want you guys going without if I can help it"
She hesitates, before she hums. "Let me ask Brahms, he just walked in." Without waiting for a response, she moves the receiver away from her ear, looking to her boyfriend.
"My darling, Malcolm won't be able to bring groceries for a few days. We've got the option of waiting until he's able to, or having a substitute driver come by"
He seems conflicted, glancing in the direction of the fridge. They'd run out of milk that morning, along with one or two other things- and he didn't want to cause trouble for them.
"That should be ok. He's not allowed past the kitchen though" Brahms replies, after a moment. She nods, making a grabby handed gesture until he comes over so she could give him a kiss on the cheek.
"You can stay upstairs while he's here, if you want" She offers, but he shakes his head.
"I need to get used to being around people other than you and Malcolm. So we can actually go out now and then."
"Okay. If it gets to be too much, you can leave, ok?"
He nods, and moves to get the plates out for her- they always seemed to end up on the higher shelves, and she sometimes thinks he does that just so he had an excuse to help her, earning more kisses in the process.
It's a sweet thought but one she can entertain later, a soft smile still on her lips as she moves the receiver back to her ear.
"Malcolm? He said it's okay."
Malcolm is quiet for a moment, and she almost thinks she's lost the call. But then he speaks.
"You really love him, don't you? Your voice gets softer when you talk to him."
"...Yea, I do. More than anyone, I love him"
She can see Brahms smile at that, and he reaches over to give her arm a gentle squeeze- he'd told her he would never tire of hearing or saying it, the two coming up with ways to do so without words.
It made it feel just as special as it had the first time she said it, and she hoped the feeling never faded.
It's three hours before the substitute driver arrives.
The wiry man is grumbling about getting lost when Ruby goes out to meet him- a habit from when she would do the same for Malcolm, helping him carry the boxes inside as they chatted.
"Sorry, I should have asked Malcolm to make sure you knew where the turn off was- it blends into the trees sometimes!" She comments lightly, watching as the man turns to take her in and immediately smiles, leaning against his truck.
"He also failed to mention I'd be in the presence of an absolute angel" He all but purrs, and she barely hides her grimace. Maybe it would have been better to go without for a few days…
"Name's Kevin, darling. And what's your name?"
"I'm pretty sure that's because he knows I'm not an angel." She mutters, moving forward to grab one of the boxes and heading inside "And my name's not important right now!" She calls over her shoulder, listening to the soft huff of annoyance that she didn't react the way he expected her to as he follows her.
It makes her wish she had a way to give Brahms a heads up that this driver's more likely to be a rude one, but before she can even attempt it as she sets the box on the kitchen table and looks up at her boyfriend, who offers the other man a hesitant smile.
She turns her attention in time to see the sneer, though Kevin smooths it over into a lopsided grin when he notices her looking at him.
Bastard probably thinks she's comparing the two in her mind, though if she did he wouldn't like the outcome.
He pretends to check the boxes, before he frowns. "Think I forgot the clipboard with the receipt you need to sign in the car- mind coming out with me?" He keeps his eyes on Ruby, ignoring Brahms even as he starts to stand- but Ruby gently stops him with a hand on her shoulder, leaning down to kiss his cheek.
"I'll be right back, my darling." She pauses, leaning close enough to whisper in his ear, her breath causing his curls to gently sway. "I need to take out some trash"
She doesn't even need to meet his eye to know he's smiling, a wordless promise to watch from the window as she deals with Kevin.
"So why're you with him? He rich or something?"
Ruby's eyes narrow, eyeing the man before her. She had already regretted agreeing to the substitute, but his comment made her regret it even more.
"What do you mean by that?" Her tone is icy, but even so, he doesn't seem to notice.
"He looks like a dollar store Freddy Kruger." Kevin scoffs, tossing the words over his shoulder as he leans into his car's open window to grab the clipboard of receipts.
She almost keeps quiet, for now- signing the paper slip with the pen she'd grabbed on her way outside so he'll just go away- her anger barely contained.
One more bad word and she's going to snap, she just knows it.
"Gal as hot as you deserves so much better than that" He adds, smirking as if he thinks he's a better catch. "What, is he keeping you prisoner like the beast he is?"
He laughs like a man who's used to women finding him funny, or thinking their nervous laughter is genuine. If she was lesser somehow- less angry, less prone to satisfying men, less loyal to the man she loves, she'd give an uneasy chuckle, a weak smile.
Or perhaps she'd tilt her head in the picture of confusion, her expression innocent as she says she didn't understand his joke, could he explain it?
But she's not, and she never will be- she'll never let herself be lesser than she's built herself up to be.
So before he can even finish laughing, she grasps his wrist, yanks his hand away from the clipboard he's still holding, and stabs the pen in her hand directly through his, putting a lifetime of anger at the men in her life before she'd met Malcolm and Brahms into the action, allowing more force than if she'd used her strength alone.
Even then, it's easier than she thought it would be, the resistance seeming to melt away as the pen sinks into his flesh- she's quite sure when it stops, it's because she's hit bone.
He's silent for a moment, and it's bliss- no more laughter, no more insults.
And then he screams, a flock of birds startled into the sky in the woods behind them.
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
"I suggest you not insult my boyfriend" She replies calmly, yanking the pen free and ignoring the warm splatter of liquid across her face, only giving it enough thought to ensure none goes in her mouth or eyes. "I might aim for somewhere else next time."
He stares at her as though she's crazy, and for a moment, she wonders if she is. She'd always given warnings before she initiated violence in school when she'd been prone to defending those who couldn't defend themselves, but something about the way he'd acted had prompted her to just act without thinking it through for what it might mean.
She pushes the thought aside, tipping her head with an innocent smile. "You might want to go get that checked out, make sure I didn't hit anything vital. Shame, it could have been prevented if you weren't an asshole."
Ruby's smiling as she heads back inside, and almost immediately Brahms pulls her into his arms, wrapping them around his waist as he lets his forehead rest against hers.
"That was….amazing, my Ruby" He comments softly, pulling away only long enough to take her hand and lead her to the kitchen, where he lifts her to sit on the counter by the sink. "Though I think your shirt may be done for"
Confused, she glances down as he moves to get a dishtowel, groaning when she sees the blood splattered across it. "Of course this would happen when the washer's busted…not worth handwashing, at this point. I've had it for so long it was bound to fall apart soon anyways. If the fireplace worked I'd joke we should burn it along with the pen I used for the stabbing"
She laughs softly, but Brahms looks thoughtful as he dampens the towel at the sink, moving to gently wipe the blood from her face- the simple gesture intimate and sweet.
"I think we do have a firepit out back…but we never used it. It's bound to be a bit…gross." Swiping gently across her cheek, he adds "We can clean it out, though…and then burn the shirt and pen."
"We could even roast marshmallows, make some s'mores" She jokes, earning a confused look of his own from Brahms.
"Make…what?"
"...I forgot those are an American thing. S'mores are a treat that's basically graham crackers, chocolate, and a toasted marshmallow. They're sticky but good, and easy to make if you have everything you need for them."
He perks up, curious, and hands her the dish towel as he heads to the pantry to see if they have what they'll need.
It's only a few moments later he returns, holding them triumphantly over his head with a beaming smile.
She returns it with one of her own, wiping the last of the blood off and tossing the towel onto the counter before she hops down.
"Alright, let's go find that fire pit!"
It doesn't take them long to find it, not too far into the backyard and covered with a tarp that kept it from getting filled with rotting leaves or other mess.
Getting things situated takes only a little bit, and between the two of them- and with the help of a lighter she'd gotten for candles at some point- they have a roaring fire going before too long.
Humming softly, Ruby looks over at Brahms as she pulls her shirt off, casually dropping it onto the flames and watching as it's quickly engulfed.
Without comment, Brahms shrugs off his cardigan and drapes it over her shoulders, smiling as she slips her arms into the sleeves. Even though he knows no one will bother them, something about the idea of her being shirtless if someone came by had bothered him- and he didn't want her to feel cold, even with the fire.
From there, it's simply a matter of actually roasting the marshmallows, laughter ringing through the trees as they do so- Ruby showing Brahms how to carefully rotate his stick so it's toasted on all sides, kept just far enough away from the flames that it won't catch fire.
It's a messy afternoon, sticky fingers caressing cheeks and kisses that hold a hint of chocolate melting into them- igniting a fire of a different kind that prompts them to extinguish the fire pit and head inside, giggling as they run up to their bedroom to spend the rest of the afternoon together in bed.
Ruby's doing the dishes with Brahms after dinner when the phone rings again.
Swiping the receiver off the hook, she tucks it against her shoulder. "Hi Malcolm"
A pause.
"How did you know it'd be me, Rubix Cube?" The nickname was one he rarely used, the result of a night of drunken Cards Against Humanity spurring him to proclaim she was colorful and fun, and thus a Rubix Cube of a person.
She found it hilarious and sweet, in the way a big brother's nickname might be, and she wished he used it more.
"Figured you'd be calling about what happened with Kevin."
"Yea ah, what the fuck did Brahms do? All I got out of Kevin was that he refused to go back to the 'psycho house' and that he'd be pressing charges if he had proof"
She frowns, and it shows in her tone when she replies. "Brahms did nothing. I was the one to stab him for being an asshole"
He's silent for a moment, before he responds in a voice that holds a mix of fear, respect, and disgust.
"What the fuck Ruby?"
"What? He was an asshole. Assholes get stabbed. It's not like it was fatal or anything, just painful."
"That's kinda fucked up"
"Yea well. I've always been prone to violence as a defense, the only difference is this time I didn't bother with a warning."
He chuckles softly at that, and she's relieved he seems to have allowed the incident to pass without further judgment.
"I feel like there's a story there."
"Better. A video of me running down a hall, in high heels, to tackle a football player who ignored my warning."
"...And things like that are why I'm glad we're friends and not enemies."
"Damn right. It's a villain era, you're just along for the ride."
The song 'The Red Means I Love You' has such Obsessive!Ruby vibes it had to be a fic. Thus, this happened. This fic was plotted in September, started in January, and then finished in March, on my birthday. It's been….a long process. But it's finally done and I'm glad to be able to move onto other stories like my AUs, and I have other ideas and other fics to work on now. I may dust off the 'Prologue' story setting up Ruby arriving and giving more light as to why she did so, maybe add some of Brahms' thoughts in regards to what he's told of the new nanny. We'll see. I have a bunch of AUs I'm working on as well that I'm excited about.